A

a better man never stood in two shoes

a bit of an odd bod
a bit rough round the edges
a bit slow on the uptake
A bucket load
A face that only mothers could love
A few tinnies/stubbies short of a slab
A little more choke and it would have started
A Rooster one day, and a feather duster the next..
A Taswegian
About as funny as a fart in an elevator
About as ugly as a hat full of arseholes
about as subtle as a kick in the guts
About as useful as a one legged man in a arse kicking contest
about as useful as an ashtray on a motor bike
About as welcome as a pork chop in Jerusalem
About as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool
act your age not your shoe size
All froth and no beer (no substance)
All over it like a rash
All over the place like a drunken spider

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Back yourself
Bangs like a dunny door in a storm
Barkin up the wrong tree
Better hit the frog and Toad
Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick
Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish
Between you, me, and the gatepost
Bible basher
Big kahunas
Billy lids
Blind leading the blind
Bloody hell
Bloody idiot
Bloody Oath
Bloody oath mate
Blow that
Bludger - Dole bludger
Bonza mate
Bore it up em
Bow-peep
Brown noser
Bugger me dead

Bugger that for a joke

Buggered if I know
Built like a brick shithouse
Bum nuts (eggs)
bush pig
Busier than a bluearse fly
Busier than a bricklayer in Beirut
Busy as a blowy at a Barby
Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth
By the gingos
C

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Can't spare us a fiva can ya mate
Carrying on like a pork chop
Catch ya later
Champagne lifestyle on a Beer budget
Check out his abs,
Cheese and kisses (misses)
Chillout
Chook raffle
Chuck a ueee
Cock and bull stories
Come in spinner

Come on !!
Con job
Cop it on the chin
Cop you later
Copin an earful
couldn't catch a cold
Couldn't care less
Couldn't drive a knife through soft butter
Couldn't drive ducks to water
Couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag
Couldn't get a kick in a stampede
Couldn't lie straight in bed
Couldn't organise a fart in a chilli eating contest
Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
Couldn't organise a root in a brothel
Couldn't organise himself out of a wet paper bag
Couldn't peel skin off a custard
Couldn't run a bath
Couldn't tell his arse from a hole in the ground
Couple of bucks
Crack a fat
Crikey - Blimey
Cry over spilt milk

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Deadbeat
Deaf as a door post
Deep pockets
Did you ride bareback
Dirty dog
Do your lolly
Does a bear shit in the woods
Doesn't know shit form clay
Dogs Breath
Dog's eye {meat pie}
Don't be a dork
Don't blame me for your inefficiencies
Don't bring that shit in hear
Don't come the raw prawn with me mate
Don't fret your freckle
Don't get ya knickers in a knot
Don't piss on my back and tell me that its raining
Don't work too hard
Donkeys years
Dragin your feet
Drain the main vein
Drier than a nuns nasty
Drinkin on me Pat Malone

Drivin the porcelain bus

Drop dead
Drop in a bucket or ocean
Drop kick
Dry as a bulls bum going backwards up a hill
Dry as a Dead dingos donga
Dry as a drovers dog

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Eat the crutch out of a low flying duck
Elbow grease
even blind, freddy could see that
Everthing but the kitchen sink
Every man and his dog

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F--- me dead
face fungus (beard)
Fair suck of the sav
Far out

feeling a bit crook

Feeling a bit peckish
Fell on deaf ears
Fell out of the ugly tree
FIGJAM ------ F-k Im Good Just ask me
Find out nosy
Find your feet
F---ing Oath Mate
Fit as a fiddle
Fit as a mallee bull
Flappin ya Gums
Flat out like a lizard drinkin
For f---sake
Frigin hell
From the get go
Froth and bubble
Full as a fairies phone book
Full as a goog
Fuller than a butchers dog
F---wit

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Get a life
Get a wooley one up ya
Get jiggy with it
Get off your high horse
Get real
Get stuffed
Get the giddy up
Gidday digger
Gidday luv
Gidday Mate
Give er a bell
Give it a go
Give it a whirl
Give it curry
Give us a durry mate
Give us a gander
Given birth to a politician
Glass of squashed grapes
Go get a mullet up ya
Go home to the ball and chain
Go root a boot
Go root yourself
Go to buggery
Go water a horse
Goes off like Chinese new year fireworks

Goin at it like rabbits

Goin to drain the one eyed trouser snake
Going ten to the dozen
Gollywog
Gone thru me like a dose of salts
Gonna drain the dragon
Got a face like a busted arse
Got a head like a diseased rice bubble
Got His heads so far up his arse
got the rough end of the pineapple
Got the time mate
Got tickets on yourself
Got you by the short and curlies
Gotta have a slash
Gottcha
Grasping at straws

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Had a blue fight
Hangin for piss
Happy as a pig in shit
Hava good one
Hava optic at this

Have to take a snakes hiss

Havin a bludge
Havin a perve
He couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water
He is all shine no shoes (a fake and a fraud)
He is so mean he wouldn't even let his dog drink from a mirage
He ran like a hairy goat,
He shootin blanks
He thinks his shit dosnt stink but his farts give him away
He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door
Head on her like a horse (edna like a orse )
Headlights are on high beam
Hedge your bets
Hes a cow cockey
Hes a horses hoof (poof)
hes a wooley woofter
Hes blotto
Hes got a few roos loose in the top paddock
Hes got more corrugation than a water tank
Hes got punters eyes, cross eyed (one each way)
Hes got short arms and long pockets
Hes havin a Barry Crocker
Hes havin a shocker
Hes just a two bob drongo
hes on the dog and bone

Hes so short he has to stand on his head to get his foot in the stirrup
Hes tinny (lucky)
Hes True Blue
Hi how you goin
His about to do his block
His in more shit than Ned Kelly
Hit in the jatz crackers
Hit the ground running
Hold those Brumbies back big fella
Hold your horses
Holy snappin duck shit
Horse has bolted
How are you
How good is it
How goods that
How goods this
How long is a piece of string
How ya goin
How ya goin - alright l
How ya Travellin
Hows ya fathers
Hows ya mothers chooks
Howsha weekend
Howzit goin
Hung like a donkey

Hung like a rouge elephant

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I am dry as a pommies bath mat
I could eat a horse and chase the jockey
I couldn't give a rats arse
I feel like a dogs breakfast
I have had it since Adam was a boy
I wouldn't piss on im if he were on FIRE
I'll give it a butchers hook ( look into it)
I'll go and have a captain cook
I'm goin to tub er up take a bath
I'm off - like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun
I'm off like a brides nighty
I'm sweating like a whore in church
I've seen better legs on a pool table
Id like to be a Fly on the wall
If his brain was electricity he would be a walkin blackout
If I wanted any shit I'll have squeezed your head
If it was raining palaces I would get hit with the dunny door
If ive told you once ive told you a thousand times
If youve got the time ive got the place

Ill have ya guts for garters

Im buggered, broke, and bewildered (Stuffed,underpaid, and overworked)
Im goin to give birth to your twin
Im off to rub a dub tub bath
In need that like a submarine needs a screen door
In two shakes of a lambs tail
is the pope a Catholic
It couldn't be done in a month of Sundays
It just doesn't get any better than this
It's a dogs breakfast
It's a rip snorter
Its as old as adam
Its cactus
its liquid sunshine (rain)
Its not worth a brass razoo
Its so cold it freeze balls off a brass monkey
Its so cold it would freeze your balls off
Its within cooee of here
Iv'e got a shit load

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Jack and Jill (bill)
Jailbait

Japanese riding boots

Joe blow
Jumpin around like a flea on a dog
Just around the corner
Just quietly
Keep you ear to the ground
Kern oath mate
Knob head
Knockin back a few beers

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Lard arse
Lemon it's a
let one drop
Life sucked out of him
Lights are on but no ones home
Like a rat up a drain pipe
Like putting dracular in charge of a Blood bank
Long time no see
Look out
Looks like somethin the cat brought in
Low and behold

Lower than snakes armpits/belly

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Mad as a cut snake
Mad as a gum tree full of galas
Mad as a meat axe
Made a real dogs breakfast out of it
Make do
Make like a guillotine and head off
Make mine unleaded
mangy old bastard
Mans not a camel
Map of Tassie
Mate shes as rough as guts
. May a thousand fleas infest your armpits
Molly dooker
More arse than class
More front than Myers
Mums chucking a wobbly
My heads spinnin
Mystery bags

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Next to the marble orchard (cemetery)
Nice Buzukas
Nice hair - bad hair day
Nice trip
No bloody way china
No flies on me
No way in the bloody world
No where near it
No worries
No wuckin furries
Not a hope in hell
Not bad
Not even a pubic hair in it
Not on your life
Not the full quid
Now that would put a smile on your dial

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Odds and sods
Off like a brides nighty

Off to the bog to leave a offering

On his ear
On the al capone ( phone)
On your bike
One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin
One for Justin (just in case)
One for Ron (later ron)
Out in the sticks
Owner operator

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Pea brain
Pardon for reaching I just got off the boat
Pass the dead horse
Piece of piss
Pigs arse
piss it all up against the wall
Piss weak
Pissed as a cricket
Pissed as a newt
Pisshead
Pissing in your pocket

POETS Day (piss of early tomorrow's Saturday)

Point Percy at the porcelain
Popular as a mangy dog
. Porky pies
Pull the wool over your eyes
Pull ya head in
Pull your finger out
Pushing shit up hill
Put hairs on your chest
put that in your pipe smoke it
Put the bite on
Put the hard word on
Put things on hold

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Raining cats and dogs
Rats arse
Reg Grundies
ridgy didge
Right up your alley
Roadie
Run rings around im
Runs on the smell of an oily rag

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Say it don't spray it
See ya later
See ya on the flip side
See ya ron
See you round like a rissole
Seen better legs on a table
Send er down Hughie
Stiff cheddar
Shadow of a doubt ( without a)
Shadow of his former self
Shake hands with the unemployed
Sharp as a bowling bowl
She goes like the clappers
She s up the duff
She/he is fugly
She'll be apples
She'll be right mate
She's in the puddin club
Shes been entered more than tatts Lotto
Shes got a head on her like the south end of a north bound Camel

Shes up on blocks (Period)

Shit a brick
Shit for Brains
Shit hits the fan
Shit hot
Shithouse
Shove that up your arse
Shut your north and south
Sick as a dog
Sillier than a two bob watch
Sink the slipper in
Sitting on the fence
Six of one half a dozen of the other
Skinny as a rake
Slow as a wet week/wig
Slow coach
Smart arse
So far up yourself
So thin she wouldn't cast a shadow
Somethin like that --Spat the dummy
Spread like wild fire
Spewin
Spitting chips
stick that up your wooley jumper

Sticking out like a stiff in a pair of speedos

Sticks out like dogs balls
stole my thunder
stone the crows
stones throw away
stop dragin the chain
Stop muckin around
Stop ya wingin
Strike me bloody handsome
Strooth cop a geek at that
Suck n see
Sweating like a pregnant nun at confession (nervous)
Syphon the Python

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Take a chill pill
Take the bull by the horns
Take the ferret for a run
Taking by storm
Talk under wet cement
Talkin to the porcelain
Tell someone who cares
That's a cracker

That's about as funny as a kick in the head

That's put a smile on your face
That's shit
The engine is conked out
The lift doesn't go all the way to the top
The most fun you can have with your pants on
The Shark - Greg Norman
. The whole box and dice
Theirs a crowd on the balcony ( big hooters)
Ticker shows ticker
Thick as a brick
Thick as a lump of 4by 2
Think outside the square
Think your so good your shit doesn't stink
Throw a spanner in the works
Throw the toys out of the pram
tighter than a fishes arsehole
Till hell freezes over,
. Toe jam
Toeea than a roman sandal
Tom dick and harry
Too big fore your britches
Toss ya for it
Tosser - Wanker - Dickhead
Tough titties

Trouble strife and the billy lids

Turn it up
Turn it up Two dicks
Two side to every coin
Ugly as a hat full of arseholes

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Up and down like a yoyo

Up and down, like a mad woman's breakfast
Up at sparrows fart
Up shit creek without a paddle
up the creek in a barbed wire canoe
Up the duff pregnant,
About as useful as tits on a bull

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Verandah over the toolshed

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Wadda ya recken
Wait till stumps
Wanna have a go do ya
Wanna have a shot at the title do ya champ
Warnie - an Australian Icon
Was ya farther a glass maker
Watchout for the devil dodgers ( Jehovah witness )
Watering hole pub,
Weak as cats piss,
Weak as piss
Well strike me pink
Went down the gurgler
Wet as a shag on a rock
Wet me whistle
whadda you know / bugger all/ or shit stinks, eggs don't bounce, and you cant buy
generals in the general store
What are ya , a doctor
What are you flappin your gums about now
What can do for you mate
What do ya do for a crust mate
What do you think this is bush week
What not -- something

What the hell

What will you do for a face when the monkey wants its arse back
. Whata crock of shit crock,shit
whata load of codswollip
Whata load of crap
Whata load of old cobblers
Whata ya think
Whats goin on
Whats up
Whats up you
Where in the middle of bloody woop woop
Where the crows fly backwards
Where,,, this side of the black stump black stump,
Who farted
Whos cookin this chook
Worm your way out of it
Worse for wear
Wouldn't be dead for quids
Wouldn't have a bar of it
Wouldn't have the foggest
Wouldn't know if his arse was on fire
Wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire
Wouldn't shout if a shark bit him
Wouldn't that rip the fork out of your nighty
Wouldn't touch her with yours

Wouldn't touch it with a 40ft pole

Wouldn't touch it with a barge pole
Wouldn't work in a iron lung

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Ya bloods worth bottling

Ya bloody galah
Ya bloody wombat
Ya drongo
Yarn
You are off the rails
You bet your boots that's right
You Betcha
You bloody beauty
You bloody little pisser
You little bugger

You little ripper

You look like a stunned mullet
You look somethin the cat dragged in
You Mongrel mangy dog
You must be the worlds only living brain donor
You're a tossa toss
You're a Wally
You're a waste of sperm
You've got a face like a smacked arse
You've got buckleys mate
You've got two chances, buckleys and none
Youd want to know the ins and outs of a magpies arsehole
your as good as two blondes put together
Your goose is cooked
Your jokin
Your so thin you have to run around the shower to get wet