Ana Cristobal

Professor Jennifer Rodrick

English 114 B
March 25, 2016
Conforming to Societys Norms can Change Peoples True Identity
Our Identity is what makes us who we are as individuals. Family, friends, school, and
society can have a big role on shaping who we are, but our behavior can vary depending on our
surroundings. Different places and people who surrounds us can cause our identities to change so
that we are socially accepted. People would rather conform to societys norm than to stand out
from it. Does conforming to societal norms harm the way we truly identify ourselves?
Every person's identity is different depending on the atmosphere that they are in. For
instance, people feel the need to conform in order to fit in. Many people dont want to feel
excluded nor be seen as different, therefore they go along with what society tells them is right. In
the reading, what is a Homosexual? By Andrew Sullivan, he talks about the difficulty of being a
gay person, he learns how to conceal his true identity around others. He says, In that moment,
you learn the first homosexual lesson: that your survival depends upon self-concealment
(Sullivan, Andrew). By this he means that at a very young age he learned that he had to hide who
he was and wasnt able to express his true self. Sullivan probably felt like he was locked in a
cage or as others might say stuck in the closet. He also talked about how he wasnt sure who he
was but did know what he wasnt. He knew all the things that society sees as right and wrong. He
knew that in society it was right for different genders to be attracted to each other and that it was
socially accepted. He also knew that people who were attracted to the same sex were seen as

different by society. He didnt want to feel rejected by his friends or classmates, therefore he got
involved into his school work, like creative writing, plays, and science fiction in order for him to
fit in with the rest of his classmates. This shows that Sullivan puts aside his identity by
distracting himself. He had to hide his true self by pretending to be like any regular teen.
Sullivan also said that no homosexual surrounded by other heterosexuals will ever feel at home
in their sexual and emotional world. Most homosexuals will have difficulty expressing
themselves, therefore they hide themselves in order to fit in with society because society will
always see them as different. Regardless of how tolerant most people/cultures can be
homosexuals will always feel like others treat them different just because they arent like the
regular crowd. Even if people accept homosexuals, they might not be as comfortable as they
would be with a straight couple. Not everyone can be okay with change.
Peoples identity can drastically change especially if society labels them as dangerous.
Labeling of colored people is one of the most common problem in society. Minorities, like
Mexican Americans or African Americans, are the ones who are targeted the most, they are seen
as rapists, criminals, and harmful people. Society can make a minority feel like they are
criminals even when they havent committed anything against the law. People assume the worse
of colored people maybe because of the reputation that others have dirtied. Society needs to
understand that other peoples actions does not represent their culture as a whole. People who
disobey the law act on their own behavior and it has nothing to do with where they are from.
Peoples skin color can change their identity and makes them conform just so that they arent
perceived as dangerous. There are many different ways that people conform to society like
walking a certain way, or dressing properly, or having the latest technology/car. Minorities want
to be accepted for who they are, but the only way for that to happen is if they conform to the

American lifestyle. When minorities are around others they might change their behavior by them
being polite or else others will assume that they are dangerous. In the reading Black Men in
Public Space, by Brent Staples, he talks about how others react negatively based on his
appearance. Brent Staples is a tall African American man who others get intimidated by, just
because he doesnt look like a decent guy. He says, I now take precautions to make myself less
threatening. I move about with care, particularly late in the evening (Staples, Brent). Brent
Staples conforms to society because he wants to be part of the group. He doesnt like the feeling
of being an outcast and how others see him as a dangerous man. Brent Staples was slowly
changing the way he was because he didnt want others to be intimidated by him. He started
whistling popular classical composers like Beethoven and Vivaldi late at night so others cant
assume he's dangerous. He chose to conform to societal norms so that others can approve of him.
He probably didnt see himself slowly forgetting who he was. He started being like the rest of the
crowd, he slowly changed himself in order for others to see him as a regular person. Changing
the way he dressed and the way he walked started changing who he was, but why couldnt
Staples just be himself? Is having everybody's approval more important than someone's true
identity?

Conforming to Societal norms can cause everybody to be the same. It takes away the
uniqueness of each individual. It restricts people to be who they truly are. Conformity is always
chosen because people want to fit in with the majority of the people. Most people deal with
Normative Conformity, which means Yielding to group pressure because a person wants to fit
in with the group (McLeod, Saul). This means that people are pressured to conform in order to
be accepted by others. According to a Huffington Post article, The Sadness of Conformity, by
Kristen Houghton, she says that society doesnt accept differences amongst people and it just
wants everybody to be the same. For example, she says, Society, whoever and whatever it is, is
forever scrutinizing us and unforgiving of differences (Houghton, Kristen). Conformity makes
others believe that being like everybody else is the right way. Houghton also says that people
will notice that they are different and might think that something is wrong with them, just
because they dont behave like certain individuals. If everyone is the same it doesnt give space
for people to be creative. It might make others change who they are even if they are
uncomfortable with it. It can lower someone else's self-esteem because if they chose to be
different they might think that others will not want to be around them.
Not only are people losing their true identity but they might also put aside the roots that
they come from. For example, my Aunt, when she first arrived in this country she only knew her
dialect and little Spanish, but then she realized that many people in California spoke English. She
felt the need to learn English in order for her to communicate well with the doctors or teachers of
her children. She needed to adjust to the way people lived in California. My Aunt felt like an
outcast not knowing English. She started going to school to learn English. She speaks Spanish
and her dialect proficiently, but is still adjusting to the English language. Her children (my
cousins) only speak English and struggle with Spanish, which is sad because they couldve been

bilingual. When my dad tries talking to my five year old cousin in Spanish he seems confused.
My dad has to speak English in order for him to understand what he is saying. Houghton says
that people lose something that is priceless when they conform. She says, You lose something
priceless and precious when you are forced to be like everyone else (Houghton, Kristen). I
strongly agree because I feel like my aunt conformed so much to the American lifestyle that she
doesnt care whether her children learn her roots or where she came from. My aunt doesnt
realize that conforming to society can change her childrens future generation. Conforming can
be good, but there should always be a limit of how far can someone change in order to fit in.
People shouldnt be afraid of others rejecting them just because they are different.
Society shouldnt make people feel like an outcast just because they arent the same as others.
Social pressure changes ones mentality and it can slowly change them into a different person.
Culture or family values can be forgotten if people adjust to the American lifestyle. Peoples
identity changes based on their surroundings, but no one should ever feel like being themselves
is a bad thing.

Works Cited:
Sullivan, Andrew. "What Is a Homosexual?" The Norton Reader: An Anthology of
Nonfiction. By Linda H. Peterson and John C. Brereton. 13th ed. New York: W.W.
Norton, 2012. 127-31. Print.
Staples, Brent. "Black Men and Public Space" The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Nonfiction.
By Linda H. Peterson and John C. Brereton. 13th ed. New York: W.W. Norton, 2012.
188-190. Print.
McLeod, Saul. "What Is Conformity?" Simply Psychology. Simply Psychology, 2007. Web. 15
Mar. 2016
bcallahan17.The Structure of Social Groups. Google, February 2014. Web. 15 Mar. 2016
EqiVideos. Asch Conformity Experiment. Youtube. Dec. 2007. Web. 15 Mar. 2016