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Balance, Humour
Hope and

Real Life
Real Love
Real People
Growing into Gardening pg 11
Comi-Con, Baltimore pg 14
Carole Candor pg 16
Manifesting Joy pg 20
Spice it Up - Mummers pg 44
Memoirs of the Soul of
a Fisherman page 46
and more

$4.43 Cdn

We hope that you enjoy reading this magazine. Our focus

has been to bring you an experience that is different than the
usual feel good magazine. We want you to participate with
us, in changing the world. Some of you may think that is a
futile idea, but we are stubborn in our view that life is what you
make it. So Love your Life and say it loud. Only you can love
your life into being what you want it to be.
Our journey to this point has been an interesting one. The
Universe works in mysterious ways, especially when the
timing is right. One minute we were not friends, we were
strangers and then we were partners in a magazine. And it
happened about that quick. Sometimes you have to trust that
opportunities will show themselves in your life and you just
have to say yes!
When you support this magazine, you are also a participant in giving back to the community. It is our hope
that through this purchase, you will be inspired to find
the joy in your own life and at the same time, contribute to the joy and development of our youth. With each
issue sold, $1.00 will be donated to the Nutrition for Learning
Program. We strongly believe in the future of todays youth
and want to help them focus on learning, and not hunger.
Please use the blank pages to write messages and pass the
magazine along to someone you think may appreciate it.
Log onto our website and tell us where you found your copy.
Welcome to our premier issue

With much Love

Suzie Hollihan:
Content and Assignment Editor, & all around Goddess
Jane Wojtasznski:
Media Designer, Motivator, Mover & Shaker
Carol Dahmer:
Business Development Diva & Kick Ass Sales Manager
Photos on the cover:
Top Left corner - Nancy Wojtaszynski and her sister Stella Ohar
Top Right - Hugh Trendell, Alan (son) Doris (wife) Hugh (son)
Middle right - Hugh Trendell
Bottom Right - Nancy Wojtaszynski and friends
Bottom Left - Trendell Family
Middle Left - Vera Dahmer and her sister Ila Kurtz
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

- Joy Quotes ....................................................................page 4

- The Power of Massage .................................................page 6

- Right way, wrong way .....................................page 8
- Growing into Gardening ...............................page 11
- Comi-Con Baltimore ...................................page 14
- Carole Candor..........................................page 16
- Joy Manifests ..........................page 20

. - Zesty Quotes ..............................................page 23

- Finding Joy in Dirt ..................................................page 24
- Scales of Happiness ...............page 26
- Dance Moves.............................page 28
- In All The Wrong Places ................................................page 30

- Caught In The Act ......................................................page 33

- Living Out Loud ................page 36
- Wolfheart Wisdom ....................................................page 37
- Or Cookie Chaos ....................................................................page 38
- Giving Thanks Effects DNA .......................................page 42
- Its a Mummer Thing ................................................................page 44
Passion or Obsession ......page 46
- Directory ...........................page 49
Truth........................................................................................page 50
- Brody Haight ..................................................page 52
- Unsilent Night Heard Around the World............page 55
- Doreen Hillier...........................................................................page 56

- These are the blank pages between the covers.

Please write your messages and pass this along to a friend.
Register where you found your copy at

ILML magazine 12 01 2014


Message from the founders:


page 3

We are not going to change the whole

world, but we can change ourselves
and feel free as birds. We can be serene
even in the midst of calamities and, by
our serenity, make others more tranquil.
Serenity is contagious. If we smile at
someone, he or she will smile back. And
a smile costs nothing. We should plague
everyone with joy. If we are to die in a
minute, why not die happily, laughing?
Swami Satchidananda,
The Yoga Sutras
One of the secrets of life is to find joy in
the journey.
But Grandma, you werent on *this*
journey. It was just crazy--
Grandma held up her hand. You have
six brothers. You got to spend a whole
day in the car with them. Youre all
healthy, well fed, happy... Someday,
when youre a little older, Ill bet youd
give anything to be back in that van of
yours with all of your brothers, smelly
diapers and all. I mulled that over.
Well what about Dad? I pointed out.
He didnt find any joy in the journey.
He was yelling at trees.
Grandma sat back, Your father and
mother are masters at finding joy in the
journey. I didnt understand.
Grandma continued, Do you really think
your parents would have had seven kids
if they couldnt find joy in the journey?...
I would be willing to wager that hell
be laughing about this trip on Monday
morning with his friends at work.
Grandma took my hands into hers.
There are a lot of people in this life that
will try to convince you that theyre
selling something that will bring you
joy. The simple fact of the matter is that
*things* dont bring you joy. You have
to find joy in life experience. And if you
take along somebody you love, then
that journey is going to be all the more
enjoyable. I can promise you right now
that both good and bad things are going
to happen to you in your life. Good and
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 5

bad things happen to everybody. Some

people are good at finding the miserable
things in life, and some are good at finding the joy. No matter what happens to
you, what you remember is up to you.
Matthew Buckley,
Chickens in the Headlights

It shakes the yellow leaves from the

bough of your heart, so that fresh,
green leaves can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new
roots hidden beneath have room to
grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from
your heart, far better things will take
their place.

I Love My Life Magazine

To get the full value of joy you must

have someone to divide it with.
Mark Twain

Story & All Around Goddess - Suzie Hollihan

Marketing & Sales Diva - Carol Dahmer
Design & Media Diva - Jane Wojtaszynski

Joy is what happens to us when we

allow ourselves to recognize how good
things really are.
Marianne Williamson

Advertising Office, Subscriptions &

Customer Service: 519-504-5263
7 Simcoe St., Cambridge Ontario,
For information on Advertising rates
and Distribution, please
call Jane 519-504-5263,
or email jane@ilovemylifemagazine.ca

I want a life that sizzles and pops and

makes me laugh out loud. And I dont
want to get to the end, or to tomorrow,
even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and
errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I
want to eat cold tangerines and sing out
loud in the car with the windows open
and wear pink shoes and stay up all
night laughing and paint my walls the
exact color of the sky right now. I want
to sleep hard on clean white sheets and
throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and
read books so good they make me jump
up and down, and I want my everyday
to make God belly laugh, glad that he
gave life to someone who loves the gift.
Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines:
Celebrating the Extraordinary
Nature of Everyday Life
Some of you say, Joy is greater than
sorrow, and others say, Nay, sorrow is
the greater.
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits
alone with you at your board, remember
that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently
sweeps everything out of your house,
so that new joy can find space to enter.

The JOYcontents
of Balance

page 4

Without pain, how could we know

joy? This is an old argument in the
field of thinking about suffering and
its stupidity and lack of sophistication
could be plumbed for centuries but
suffice it to say that the existence of
broccoli does not, in any way, affect
the taste of chocolate.
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Sometimes your joy is the source of
your smile, but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
But if you love and must needs have
desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook
that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly
and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at noon hour and meditate
loves ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep
with a prayer for the beloved in your
heart and a song of praise on
your lips.
Khalil Gibran

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ILML magazine 12 01 2014

An Interview with Joanne Chalmers, RMT
by Jeanne Yardley

At age 45, Joanne Chalmers gave up an

enjoyable steady job to go back to school
and train as a registered massage therapist.
What was she thinking?! Was it worth it?
ILML Magazine asked Joanne those very
ILML: According to the YouTube video
conversation you had with Jane (which is
available at http://www.ilovemylifemagazine.
ca/you-tube.html), your work as a chiropractors receptionist left you feeling that you
wanted to be able to do something yourself
to help the people you saw. What made
you choose massage therapy over other
health professions?
JC: I felt I didnt want to go to school for the
amount of time it would take to become a
chiropractor -- I did look into it but decided I
was too old to get into that much debt. And
four years of full-time school didnt appeal!
Massage was a natural choice, because I
have always used massage myself. It works
great with chiropractic. Both helped me to
heal after a previous work injury, so I already
believed in it. Unlike things like reflexology
and osteopathy, its a regulated profession,
peer-reviewed by the College of Massage
Therapists of Ontario and covered by many
extended health programs. I also knew the
business end of things and how to bill, etc,
from my experience in the chiropractors office, which was a
huge advantage.
ILML: How did you feel about going back to
school? Would you recommend making a
career change at that age?
JC: School at 45 is definitely different! More
challenging! The worst part was learning
how to learn again! Writing notes, highlighting notes, charting notes, recording notes... it
was a challenge.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 7

I met a few wonderful, more mature, students on my first day, and we bonded right
away! We were like the cool Moms of the
class. Hanging around the kids, as we affectionately called them, was always interesting
for sure. I had some wonderful experiences,
including rappelling off the Marsland building
in Waterloo (14 stories high) for an Easter
Seals fundraiser! I would highly recommend
changing things up at any age, even at 45!
We should never stop learning. Its so important -- and so rewarding when you achieve
your goals!
ILML: What can you tell us about
the program?
JC: It was kind of like drinking from a fire
hose: a lot of info in a short amount of time!
I picked my school (Canadian College of
Massage and Hydrotherapy) on reputation
and referral from other RMTs that I knew
through the chiropractors offices I worked at.
I had heard about it from many others who
had dropped out because it was too difficult,
which scared me a bit. We were trained in
massage theory, assessments, pathological treatments, remedial exercise, anatomy,
physiology, pathology, hydrotherapy, neurology, ethics and law, business management,
and clinical practicum. It was an 18-month
course, with a provincial practical examination and a provincial written exam to be certified as an RMT. So the whole process was
around two years of full-time study.
The training was intense.
ILML: Is there a difference between what you
do and what other massage therapists do? Is
massage at a hotel or spa different?
JC: We are all tested the same, regardless of
which school we attend: there are standards to be upheld, and our governing body
ensures that. Each therapist learns the same
material, yet may have a different approach
for their massages. Everyone is individual
and has a different touch. Even the ones
working at a spa or hotel, if they are titled
RMT, have the same training. They may offer
just relaxation, or they can also be as therapeutic as in a clinic.

ILML: According to your website (http://

www.joannechalmersrmt.com), massage
therapy can be used to treat everything from
work and sports injuries to depression and
anxiety. Would you say there are any age or
health restrictions?
JC: Anyone can get a massage! I have seen
from 90 year-olds to 6 year-olds; there is no
restriction with age. I do chair massages on
site for corporate clients, and I also visit shutin clients in their homes. Massage can make
some things worse, but thats why we go
through a health history with each client, to
make sure massage is not contra indicated
for that particular individual.

ILML: Can you give us an example

of a client who responded successfully
to massage?
JC: Thats the beauty of this profession:
there are many! My success stories range
from helping a stroke victim recover the
range of motion in his arm, to helping a
woman with a broken leg recover, regain
strength and learn to use her leg again without a cane, to helping an orthodontist with
torticollis in her neck from seeing so many
kids over March break! I have massaged
many through the pain in their backs, necks,
shoulders, knees, feet, etc. I am honoured to
be able to treat such a variety of clients. And
if I cannot get results, I do have a network of
other professionals that I refer to.

ILML: How long does massage take?

JC: The first time is a one-hour treatment,
including intake and health history, postural
assessment, orthopaedic testing, and massage. After that, massages can be 30, 45,
60, or 90 minutes long. How often and over
what period of time I see a client is often
limited by their employee benefits, although
many people decide to continue out of their
own pockets, simply because massage
helps to keep them working. With an acute
problem, such as tendonitis, the client might
come twice a week for a couple of weeks.
Clients that come to me for maintenance
with long-term conditions, on the other
hand, might come regularly once a month.
ILML: How can a client expect to feel
after a massage?
JC: Generally, you might expect muscle
soreness, headache, and dehydration. If you
come in with acute pain, you will generally
feel okay about going back to the rest of
your work day after treatment, maybe taking
along an ice pack or doing some stretches
at your desk. But maintenance clients often
book massages in the evening, so they can
go home and relax afterwards. The Epsom
salt bath is a lifesaver! I also often send
clients off with stretches or exercises to do,
things that they can do to help themselves.
I find that those who take responsibility for
getting better also take ownership of the
problem and figure out ways to change
the patterns that caused the problem
in the first place.

ILML: Does your new healing profession

have a creative aspect? Or is there a frustrated artist hiding somewhere inside you?
JC: It definitely is a creative profession
maybe not in the way interior dcor is, but
I find myself solving the puzzle of what the
problem is, why the problem is, and how to
treat it. We learn the tools in school, and it is
up to the therapist to decide which ones to
use and when. But, yes, there is definitely an
artist inside still, and now I do have the time
to dabble in my art again, so I am working
on my graphite sketching as another
creative outlet.
ILML: Has this new career met your hopes
and expectations?
JC: My husband tells me everyday how lucky
I am to have found a profession that I love!
So many are unsatisfied with their jobs or
professions and go to work each day dreading their work or just getting through it -- not
me! I can honestly say that this was one
of the best decisions that I have made, and
everyday something happens to
validate that choice!
Joanne Chalmers, RMT works out of
Parkway Back Clinic, 201 Preston Parkway,
Cambridge. Phone: (519) 653-2101.
Email: rmtjoannec@gmail.com.
Website: www.joannechalmersrmt.com

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

The JOY of Balance - The Power

of Massage

page 6

and how to tell the difference.

Youare standing at a fork in the road and have to make a choice.

I wish I could tell you as eloquently as Robert Frost
that you should choose the road less travelled by.
However, this particular crossroad has only two signs;
the right wayand the wrong way. Although, which one is which is
hard to tell as the pole that holds the signs looks tampered with.
The right way might just as well be the wrong way and vice versa.

There is no way of telling the difference

of course. They both look the same
to you.
The only thing you know for sure is that
you have to make a choice.
You cant go back which would mean
not reaching your destination, wherever
that would be. And you cant go forth,
because you dont know which way
to choose.
Youre stuck.
If you choose the wrong way who
knows what kind of horrors you might
meet along the way. And if you choose
the right way no, you cant even imagine because the fear of choosing wrong
is so intense that everything else seems
like a vague resemblance of a possibility.
Fear of making a choice makes you stop.
You loose momentum. You suddenly notice how tired you are. And hopelessness
creeps in on you along with the
shadows of the night.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Does this sound familiar?

If it does, it is only because this scenario
is so, so common. In our busy modern
lives, we are bombarded by choices. And
fear of making the wrong choice can
make even the best of us want to retreat
and withdraw.
You are not alone.
It seems impossible, but thankfully
usually things arent as bad as they
seem. There is a smarter way of looking
at the situation that will make the
choice maybe not easier to make
but easier to live.
The thing is, the whole problem is built
on an assumption that cant be proven.
Namely, the assumption that one of the
choices is better than the other. And
that you dont know which is which.

page 9

way? How can you possibly know

which road was the right and which
one was the wrong?
If you walk down the road and are
robbed by bandits on the first night
chances are that youll quickly deem
that road the wrong one. And if you
choose to keep going youll most
likely see everything from this
perspective and interpret things
accordingly. You might hit a vally of
gorgeous roses, but all you will
be able to see then, is the thorns.
However, if you walk down the road
and happen to walk down into a lush
valley with apples, pears and more wild
strawberries than you can eat youre
more likely to walk on as if you are
on the right path, and that will be your
But how can you ever know for sure
that the other road wasnt better
or worse?
You cant.
You imagine you know, of course.
But you cant know for sure.
What if youre walking on the right
road and still believe youre on the
wrong? You will never know where
the other road could have taken you.

This leaves us with the following: our

beliefs about the road were on will
shape our entire experience.
There are no right or wrong roads
only right and wrong thinking.
What you believe is
what youll see.
And what you see will
become your reality.

Freedome coaching - Right way,contents

wrong way

Right way, wrong way

page 8

So, if youre standing at a crossroads

dont think too much about the choice.
Focus on the horizon.
On the open road.
And go.

Marthe Hagen

Freedom coach & motivational writer

Start today.
Sign up to receive my newsletter:

But imagine again that youre the traveler standing at the crossroads. Imagine
choosing the road to the left. How will
you ever know if you chose the right
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 11

Illustrations by Kaitlyn Richardson

I am in charge of how
I feel and today I am
choosing Happiness!

by Jeanne Yardley
You could say that the urge to garden is in
my blood. I come from a long line of Yardleys with dirty hands and green thumbs. It
has certainly taken a long time to feel like
that blood was really my own. But family
legacies can be hard to escape.
Among my earliest memories is the smell of
chrysanthemums in my uncles commercial
greenhouses, forever after associated with
a protective family. Countless childhood
photos show me in my fathers flower beds.
And my first jobs were in small florist shops.
So its no wonder I still breathe in nostalgia
when I walk through the floral department of
the grocery store.

Illustration by Dan Roberts

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Naturally, my impulse when making a home

away from home was to adopt houseplants.
Dracaena, yucca, schefflera, philodendron,
African violets, gardenia, stephanotis... They
were my companions and my children during my early adult years. I remember doing
a head count once -- there were 50 plants
in my apartment. At one time, I had a tiny
second-floor greenhouse where I became
depressingly aware of diseases and humidity. I went back to happy little pots on sunny
windowsills: something to care for, but one
with few demands.

When I finally had kids and a house, I tackled

outdoor gardens. But, for me,
growing roses and growing children were in
direct conflict. When the last of
the rose bushes came back only as dry
twigs, I let the perennial shrubs fill in the
gaps and set the gardening project on hold.
Obviously, the horticultural blood coursing
through my veins didnt come with any ancestral knowledge about soils and nutrients.
Indoors, the potted plants were less numerous, more or less self-sustaining. Yet my
uncles and fathers prolific gardens haunted
me. In particularly challenging times, I
bought cut flowers to have on the kitchen
counter, as a kind of visual comfort food.
As the kids got older, we tried vegetable
gardening. We had fun growing pumpkins,
and sometimes we got some corn before the
raccoons ate it all. Every spring, the garden
started out full of promise and potential.
Every summer, we left a developing veggie
patch to go on vacation -- and came home
to a forest of weeds in a bed as hard as
concrete. The fight against nature became
overwhelmingly discouraging. Why put the
effort in for such dismal results? Vegetable
gardening went on hold, too.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Aha Moments - Growing
into Gardening

Growing into Gardening

page 10

Then the fence around the garden started

to fall over. We talked about reverting to
lawn: a final admission of defeat. But now
I was researching nutrition and food quality
and paying more attention to the source of
what we ate. I suggested a new higher fence,
for climbing cucumbers and tomatoes. My
husband upped the ante by offering to top
the fence with a rafter support that could be
covered with greenhouse poly, to extend the
season spring and fall. Could I bear to try
again? We got the new structure up in
time for a few weeks of poly over
seedlings that spring.
For the rejuvenated vegetable garden, I

consulted wisdom other than what I thought

I already knew and discovered the power of
mulch. When we came home from vacation
that summer, for the first time in history, the
things we were trying to grow outnumbered
the things we didnt want to grow. Never
before in my life as a gardener had I felt any
confidence in the results of what I was doing.
This one straightforward technique gave me
the sense of control I needed.
Even more important, I also discovered the
simple pleasure of sitting in the garden. On
a whim, I had dug out one corner and set in
a small plastic pond we previously used for
koi indoors (until we got the ditzy kitten who
kept falling in, but thats another story...). A
few water plants, minnows, and a bench later,
I had a perfect little haven. Frogs invited
themselves in through the fence and took on
jobs as bug catchers. An ecosystem!
During the next winter, I went back to my
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 13
research and discovered year-round gardening. I looked out at our barren veggie patch
and realized that at that very moment it could
have been growing food for our table. It was
easy to start microgreens under grow lights
and sprouts on the kitchen counter. But
there was opportunity for more, much more.
That blood was well and truly mine at last!
We grew vegetables through the next summer, and, in the fall, we put the poly on and
headed into winter.
That was last year, the longest and coldest
winter in our area in something like 35 years.
According to the experts, the things I was
growing in the greenhouse could handle -5o
Celsius. As the freeze set in, I added more
protective layers. Some plants were inside
cold frames in the greenhouse. I made mini
tunnels over the rest, with hoops of wire and
sheets of poly. As it got colder, I spread a
large piece of plastic over the whole set-up.
When we hit -25, I added blankets. When -25
hung around during the day, I replaced the
blankets with a clear swimming-pool cover,
so the plants could still get some light. I never once put a heat source in the greenhouse,
and, through that whole long cold winter, I did
not lose a single plant to frost.
Every day I bundled up, trudged through
the snow, stepped into the calm coolness
of the greenhouse and picked greens for
a salad. It still seems amazing to me: no
matter how the wind is lashing ice pellets
against the poly, inside the greenhouse, the
earth sustains enough warmth to bring life
to these baby leaves. I can sit on my little

bench beside the frozen pond, watch my

breath condense in the air, and observe Jack
Frost at work on the layers of poly. Then I can
lift a cold frame cover off, inhale the damp
mustiness of the soil, and see what is now big
enough to harvest. I dont have to deal with
pests or weeds; I dont even have to water
-- and I get to walk past the imported lettuce
at the store.
There was a precise moment when I realized
the miracle of what I was doing. It was late
winter, and, at last, I could plant new seed in
the increasing hours of daylight. So there I
was, on my knees digging in the warm dirt,
while only a few feet away, the guys in my
family were kneeling in the snow, strapping on snowboards before riding down our
backyard ramps. We were all outdoors in the
same time and space; I was gardening as
they snowboarded -- what could be
better than that?!
I still have things in pots,
but now I am buying
tropical plants that
can give back: Meyers
lemons, red oranges,
Barbados cherries. And
in winter, I occasionally
still have cut flowers
in the kitchen. Maybe
someday I will put
some energy into flower
For now, I am happily
engrossed in the
challenges of rotation,
succession, and
companion planting.
So much to learn!
I think, in part, it is gaining the understanding that gives me so much
pleasure. When I became interested in growing things as an important part of a healthy
and responsible life, the problems I had with
gardening were transformed from annoying
issues into gaps in my knowledge that could
be filled if I just read enough. Learning itself
is a very
satisfying process for me.

know how to separate the passion from the

learning. When I become passionate about
an area of interest, my enthusiasm and my
new knowledge feed each other.
But this particular interest has some additional elements. In gardening, I am finding
my personal place in the natural world. The
pride I take in building a completely homegrown salad and the serenity I feel on my
bench by the pond are results of a tangible
connection with what is growing around me.
In this digital world, I am still a creature of
Family takes gardening beyond an
individual pursuit.
Not only am I feeding my family, but I
am also reconnecting with generations before me
whose livelihood
revolved around
agriculture in one
form or another.
On a broader scale, there is the human family.
My concern for the health of the planet and
everyone on it calls me to pay attention to nature, as the vast interconnected network we
all belong to. Agribusiness and GMOs may
have altered the food chain, the environment
may be ailing, time may be running short and
tempers riding high, but I can plant seeds and
stir life. When I get my hands into the soil, I
am making one small but significant gesture
towards healing.
And so I have at last grown to embrace my
destiny as a gardener!

And theres the passion. Actually, I dont

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Aha Moments - living out loud

page 12

page 15

Written by Shelley Byers
Maybe it was the way we were driving, as if
swerving on a darkened rural road searching
for Aunt Ednas farm house. Maybe it was the
Canadian license plate; or maybe it was us
gawking at the buildings, pointing frantically at
each intersection. It was well after midnight, but
something prompted the woman in the white
jeep to lean her head out and ask if we were
lost. Without stopping or slowing down, she
proceeded to yell directions to lead us to our
hotel. Our first taste of Baltimore. The people
sure are friendly!

their cubicles and declare themselves

Superman, Cute-Girl-With-Axe-In-Head, or
Monster Blaster.

We were attending the Baltimore Comic-Con

where Gerhard was an event guest and a
presenter at the 2014 Harvey Awards. For those
of you who are unsure, a comic-con or comic
festival is a venue for comic book enthusiasts to
fawn over their favourite artists and writers, buy
and trade comics, pick up the latest memorabilia
while sporting outlandish costumes. Picture
Sheldon and you have the idea.

I met CGWAIH (see above) in the ladies room.

She had worked on her costume for over six
months, tediously stitching and spraying a
beige dress with bling and blood. She answered
the age-old question: What do women do with
used brides-maids dresses? I mentioned how
awesome she looked. She posed, sticky claws
dangling from gnarled knuckles and said that
she was proud of her costume, but that she
wished she had had more time. It could have
been better. She looked awesomer last year!

Those who dressed in their favourite costume

had something to say without saying it. This is
who I really want to be. It was inspiring or frightening depending on the get-up. The just-overmiddle-aged buttocks behind Tarzans napkin
will, unforgivably, stick in my mind.
The three day Con was held at the Baltimore
Convention Center across the street from
sparkling Chesapeake Bay. Tall ships and
paddle boats resembling pastel painted dragons
greeted us from the hotels glass elevator on the
way to our event booth.
It was apparent that fans took great joy and
pains to lift their secret shadows to formulate,
coagulate, and join their outer beings. I imagined
them crouched in their offices planning and
designing, eager for the day when they could
knock over their pencil holders, break out of
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

My favourite costumed highlight was the master

blaster who stood 8 feet tall by 4 feet wide. This
is an approximation, not an exaggeration. His
full name is Guardian of the Kryptonian Codex.
As he stood waiting for the traffic light to change
on Main Street across from the convention center, I couldnt help but respect a mere human for
donning this black, suffocating costume in heat
surpassing 90 degrees, American.

It took three people to help him through the

sliding glass doors to the air conditioned
entry and he never made it to visit the artists.
He couldnt fit into the elevator down to the
booths. His costume came in second to nonother than Frankenberry of cereal fame.
The makers of Frankenberry were not among
the nominees at the award show that evening.
The Harvey Awards are somewhat akin to
the Grammy Awards, but on a smaller scale.
There were no bejeweled dresses, the carpet
wasnt red, and the after party was outside on
the back steps of the hotel. The cops broke it
up. We did sing using an upside down ashtray
barrel as a drum to accompany a guitar playing
the joyous strains of Sloop John B.
The awards celebrate all facets of the graphic
novel genre or their classic pseudonym, comic
books. Of special interest, Charles Schultz, creator of The Peanuts Gang, was posthumously
presented with a life time achievement award.
A former assistant of Mr. Schultz was on hand
to say a few words. If there was a dry eye, it
wasnt mine. She was eloquent.

Gerhard presented the award for Best Inker, a

skill for which he became quite famous during
his 20 year stint as the background artist for
the graphic novel, Cerebus. Based out of Kitchener, he and Dave Sim told the paradoxical
story of an aardvark. Cerebus would die at the
end of issue 300 (sorry to kill the ending) and
conclude a 20 year collaboration. Gerhard also
presented for Best Foreign Material noting that
he was, after all, from Canada, eh?
No one dressed as Cerebus. He didnt have a
cape. He did, however, enjoy the friendship of
the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles during their
early days, making a special guest appearance

in an issue.
Our days were long but engrossing. As Booth
Babe it was my job to interact with fans while
Ger sketched. His technique of crosshatching is not a quick, sweeping method. He uses
thousands of tiny lines. He also talks with his
hands. I had to help answer questions so he
could get his work finished.
After interacting with fans, signing autographs,
drawing charming sketches and lobbing spit
balls over the privacy curtain at our neighbours, we were happily drained. A glass of
wine would have been splendid.
We asked the door man about the nearest
wine store. It was two blocks away, in the Red
Zone. Red Zone? We were informed that a
bottle of Chablis was not worth entering that
dodgy area of the city. We could do so at our
own peril. Im paraphrasing, but he did use the
word peril.
Without much time to see the sights, and
cloistered in our safe area, we
were still able to capture some of the charm
of Baltimore. Along with our spit-ball buddies,
we indulged in the cozy restaurants beckoning
us to eat sword fish,
crab cakes
and shrimp.
We even
made time to
explore the
tall ship and
a submarine.
Note to visitors:
Six foot four
inch artists are
welcome into
U-boats at their
own peril.
The Baltimore Con was a place for people to
jump out of their skins and become whoever
their heroes might be. Our mothers taught us
not to stare. During those three days, it was
rude not to stare, to take it all in, to congratulate those who made us smile, giggle and
gaze in wonder at their colourful inner beings.
We look forward to more costumes, crime
fighters and crab cakes next year.
Thanks Baltimore!
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Ponderings and Wanteringscontents

- Baltimore

page 14

even in the
Darkest Moments
by Carole Kitchenwitch

My name is Carole. Like everyone else

my life has its ups and downs. We all
have to find our way through the darker
times. The way I did it was and is to say I
love My Life out loud every day. I found
that it helps me see the good on the
darker days.
Over the years, I have told many people
that they need to love their lives on their
worst days. Then a day came that was
my test. It was early morning a few days
before thanksgiving. The ringing phone
woke me from a dead sleep. My daughter
was at the other end. Her daughter Jade,
had just been rushed by ambulance to
the hospital. Tammy was frantic, as Jade
had just come home from the hospital.
She was only 73 days old and had been
fighting to live every single one of them.
I got up and rushed to get Tammy to the
hospital. It was a very quiet ride. I think
we knew she was gone. When arrived at
the hospital, by the look on everyones
face, we knew our worst fears were true.
The nurses led us to a room in the back.
There she was. Her tiny little lifeless body
wrapped in a pink blanket laying on a
huge gurney.
Tammy let out a scream that came from
the bowels of the earth. It was a scream
that I will never forget. She fell to her
knees, grabbed me around my ankles
and begged me to make it better. I never
felt more lost or useless in my life. My
baby, my firstborns heart was broken
and I couldnt fix it. I picked her up off the
ground and held her, it was the only thing
I could do. Tammy went over and gently
picked Jade up. She cuddled her and was
smelling and kissing her. I didnt know
how I was going to do this. I took a minILML magazine 12 01 2014

ute to call a friend. I needed help. I had a

house full of kids at home who were going to need me, Tammy needed me, and I
had no idea what I was going to do.
At that point a nurse cam into the room,
it was time to take Jade away. Tammy
just couldnt let her go. I found myself
taking my tiny little granddaughter out
of her mothers arms. Tammy had such
a vacant look in her eyes. I did the only
thing I could and held her while she
We made our way out to the car and
stated to head home. The ride seemed
to take forever. Tammy holding and
smelling the blanket her child had been
napped in. I felt broken, empty, sad.
Really sad.
We finally arrived at the house and I
looked around at everyone. My mind was
blank. I couldnt think yet and needed
to process the last couple of hours. My
friend Jim was there along with several
of my other friends. I let Jim take Tammy
from me and hold her tightly. I told him
I needed to go outside and scream and
that I could not hold it together for one
more second.
I almost ran out the door. As soon as it
closed the tears came, the anger came. I
screamed. Then I did the only thing I always did when life was dark, I shouted I
LOVE MY LIFE! I repeated it a couple of
times and didnt feel it.
As I turned around to start back to the
house, I looked in my front window.
There was Jim still comforting Tammy,
Another friend was holding Austin, Jades
Brother. Someone else was putting food
on the table for the other kids. I raised my

page 17

arms and shouted again. I

LOVE MY LIFE and meant
it. I felt it this time. This
was by far the saddest day
I had ever experienced,
but I didnt have to face it
alone. I was surrounded by
people who loved me.

The day my granddaughter Jade

passed, I did love my life. It just
proved to me that sometimes it may
be hard to find something to love
about your life, but if you look you
will find it. I live by this belief and
everyday good or bad,
I say out loud, I LOVE MY LIFE!

Carole Candor,

with Carole Kitchenwitch

Question: What are your thoughts about

raising kids in the country?
There are obvious pros and cons to this
idea, the biggest pro, in my opinion is how
the community connection is much more
prevalent than it is in the city. I have lived
in both situations; big city and country and
have found that in the country you really
get to know your childrens friends and the
friends families. In the city, you may never
meet any parents or even know if the
friends live at a parents or are
on the street. The draw back in the

country, is that everyone knows your

business, but at the end of the day its your
community and a better connection. Your
Childs teacher probably lives in your community. Their classes are not as defined,
and the lifestyle gives your child
a more healthy balance, both mentally
and emotionally, with many teaching
opportunities which will never present
themselves in the city.
So in conclusion, if you can, and your
work allows it, you should raise your children in small communities.

Question: Who is Carole Kitchenwitch?

My name is Jane Wojtaszynski and I am
one of the owners/founders of this magazine. I met Carole five years ago, in the
spring of 2010, when I ventured down
the lane to her beautifully groomed
gardens to meet the neighbours

some kind of sign to know if this was the

place. When we pulled into the driveway,
a calico cat greeted me at my van door and
followed me everywhere I went from then
on untill we left. Being of the earth, I immediately recognized this as a good thing.

It seemed they had been expecting me,

and were waiting for the day when I
would finally make my appearance.
Well that day was the beginning of a
very interesting adventure.
The adventure started from an idea, which
was conceived through the reading of a
series of books, recommended to me by
another neighbour in Cambridge. In fact
after reading this series, I set my intention
on finding a parcel of land that would fulfill
our dream of having our own sacred space.
It was Halloween day, when my daughter
Kaitlyn and I drove three hours to Coboconk to view the property. I was looking for

The house was a strangely furnished, with

many interesting and unusual paintings.
Antiques and knick knacks were jammed
into every corner, shelf and crevasse in
sight. Upon viewing the whole property,
warts and all, we decided this was the
place and decided to put in an offer.
Shawn my husband had not seen it yet.
Good thing he trusts my judgement. It
was the only way, and time we could have
done this, as now the rules have changed
significantly for buying more properties, of
which we have four.
We planned, dreamed, painted, and waited
for spring to come, to see what grew
naturally on the property.

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Advice for Life -Corole Cander


page 16

page 18
When spring came along, to tell you the
honest truth, I ventured down the road to
secure a relationship so we could have access to the lake not a five minute walk from
our house. The meeting was lovely and to
my husbands dismay lasted longer than the
five minutes I told him I would be gone for.
The funny thing is, now he is the one who is
pacing waiting to get over there for a visit.
We have grown in our relationship with each
other through highs and lows of life. With
each event and year bringing us into closer
relationship with each other.

page 18
Carole and Mike have some very inspiring
stories about triumph and fighting for survival. But I will let you hear them tell those
stories. She is the inspiration for this magazine and the idea that we have the power
of words to heal ourselves, if we would take
action by believing and vocalizing it.
Thank you all for reading and being a part
of this amazing movement. I believe that
together we can change the world! One
thought, word and deed at a time.
Just watch as it happens in your life.
Blessings Janey

Moma then baby bear august 2nd. 2010

Shawn meets the neighbours June 2010

I love m

pertise to
ou c a n c ou
r e s t of
p e r f e ct se
f i n d y ou t h e
r story
r eally is a
Y ou r
l p y ou .
I w ou
af ter all and


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+ hst for Re-test

when first test done with us


520 Charles Street East Kitchener

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Patrick McDonald
Terri Leigh Cowan
We are an accredited
Emissions testing faciltiy.


Sales Representative

Re/Max Twin City Realty Inc., Brokerage
Independently Owned & Operated


How One
Womans Joy

Physical Form
Renia Pruchnicki
For me, there is no greater joy than
creating new products and then setting
them free into the world. I started my
Truth Belts in 2001 after getting laid off
from a job. With a degree in Fashion
Design from Torontos Ryerson University and a longing to start my own business, I decided to go for it. I had always
had a knack for fashion and design.
Post graduation, I had been working
as a designer of sports outerwear, and
later as a designer of travel bags and
backpacks. Through the help of government assistance program dedicated
to helping people start a business, I
created Truth.

the product line expanded to include

T-shirts, yoga matt carriers, wrist cuffs
and dog accessories.
Designing these products is a complete joy for me. Its a feeling if I AM
in other words, a feeling of issness,
meaning its feels like its what I am
meant to do. My joy arises when I am
designing products, including all of the
photography and video work. Thats
my most favorite part. The feeling that
I feel after a design a new product is
the highest high of all highs. When I
design my products and Im in the special place where my joy, spills out into
physical form.
Because most of my sales are on-line, I
can sell my products all over the planet.
Being your own boss is a great life
because it allows me to have a flexible
1% of my on-line sales are donated to a
charity called Embracing the World.
I believe that making animal friendly
products makes a huge impact on
our environment. The meat industry is
one of the largest contributors to land
degradation, air pollution, and water
shortage. With the products I design
I hope that I can make a difference in
the world.

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

A business program called Self

Employment Assistance was being
offered through unemployment, which
helped those who wanted to start
their own business. Renia had always
thought about starting her own clothing company, so she applied and was
accepted into the program. Because
belts were the hottest fashion accessories of 2001, Renia decided to start with
belts as her business focus. They were
a small enough product that she could
easily store in her Toronto downtown
apartment. So, with the little money she
had in savings and a small bank loan,
Renia started Truth.

To find our more, visit my website at


For the first decade Renia ran Truth on

a part-time basis while working as a
product designer for a company called
California Innovations as a product designer of soft-sided coolers and lunch
carriers. This allowed her to survive in
a niche market where the demand for
vegan fashion accessories is not high.


Having no experience with leather,

Renia naturally started out using
the technical materials that she was
already familiar with. The first Truth belt
line included some belt styles that had
the look of real leather but were made
from PVC and polyurethane. Renia
found that these particular belts were
very popular within the vegan and
vegetarian community. Other belt
styles did not have the leather look and
were made from materials such
as polyester and polypropylene
blends, elastic, jute & hemp.

The year was 2001 and it just so

happened that belts were the hottest
fashion accessory of the year. Since my
previous design experience was in the
area of technical outerwear, and I had
no experience working with leather, I
decided to make belts that were vegan.
Truth belts are made with materials
such as polyurethane, hemp, jute,
elastic, cotton, polyester and recycled
car tires. Some of them look just like
leather! All of my products are made
in Canada. I quickly learned that there
was a niche market of vegans and vegetarian across the globe that were interested in my product. Over the years,

Design/Production. For 7 years she

worked in Toronto as first a pattern
maker, then as a designer for a few
different companies. Her work experience was mainly in designing technical
skiwear, outerwear, cosmetic and travel
bags. The last employer went out of
business and Renia found herself in
the unemployment line. It was really
a blessing in disguise, as that was
the start of Truth.

Canadian born Renia Pruchnicki graduated from Torontos Ryerson University in 1994, with a degree in Fashion

Recognizing a demand for high-quality

non-leather accessories, Renia decided to continue this different angle,

combining her unique designs with
unusual materials. Not only were her
products original, but also the longevity of Truth belts was unparalleled in a
market where most other leather-look
belts tended to fall apart within a few
months. Truths reputation for producing durable yet fashionable non-leather
accessories spread quickly, and Renia
had soon carved out a niche market
for herself in the vegetarian and vegan
community as well as carnivores who
simply wanted a cool looking belt. The
products started selling in stores in
Toronto and also in the USA.
In 2003, PETA (People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals) awarded Truth
with a Proggy Award for Best Leather
Replacement Clothing Company in
North America. This was both an
honour and a great surprise to Renia,
who had no idea that Truth was even
being considered for
the award.
As the company
evolved, Renia started
making belts out
of recycled car tires
(Gemini & Savoy
styles). In 2013 Renia
decided to donate 1%
of on line sales from
to her favorite charity,
Embracing the World.
Currently Renia is
working on developing
her first biodegradable belt which will
be released in fall of
2014. It will be called BIO 1.0. The belt
is significant because it will be the first
vegan belt designed with a biodegradable belt on the top and bottom, with
recycled car tires in the middle layer.
Truth products are 100% animal friendly
and 100% made in Canada. Truths
mission statement is Having fun
inspiring the world.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Finance - Joycontents

page 21

page 20

page 23

by: Mae M. Zest

I am so glad to meet you and

welcome you into my world. You
wanna know about joy? I can tell
you all about it!
Joy to me is being out in the world.
I get to meet all the right people.
Because it seems the people I meet
are alright! Never met a person yet I
couldnt communicate with. Thats my
mission: to interact and make friends
with the world.
I have spent a lot of time getting to
know them! And boy, that has been
fun. I would rather enjoy my time with
friends than worrying about silly dust.
And besides, the way I fly in and out of
my house, it has no time to settle:
it just floats around in that air.

The Cobycreative.ca
Collection ... Is just that

I find joy in touching. I hug a lot. What?

What did you think I was gonna say?
It sure feels mighty fine to have a hug
at the end of a long day! Just the other
day, I saw a man on the street, seemed
a bit down about himself; so I bought
him a hot chocolate and gave him a
hug. You know what? He smiled and
we chatted for a bit before I went
off to meet my next potential friend.
And there are just so many friends
to meet.

A collection of
whimsy & mystical
art & jewelry
cosmic & comical
A few items you might find here:
Funky Boho Clothing
Essencial Oils and other
organic body products
Art, Pottery and
Photography from
Local artists.

And again as my mentor once said I

am a woman of very few words, but
lots of action. Yes, I do a lot-because
that is where you will find joy. In doing.
In being. All of them action words. I
have lots of people to meet today-so I
am off at gallop speed. Hope to meet
up with you along the way, because
that will be a joyous meeting!

Sukhvinder Soomal
Landlord Property Manager

Specializing in Condos
Single Family Homes
Apartment Buildings and
Landlord Tenant Court Problems
Dec. 00001

7 Simcoe St. Cambridge ON.

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Love thy neighbor -- and if he happens

to be tall, debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
Mae West

Cambridge Property Management Ltd.

Find a unique gift for the unique

person on your Christmas list.


And as the other Mae once said:


ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Oh Mae M - Zesty Quotes

page 22

page 25

by Suzie Hollihan
Oh the Joy in Housework. Can one truly find
happiness in capturing flecks of dust on an
old t-shirt too stained to be adorning the
body of a teen? There is such joy in mopping
the floor at the right time so that I can record
my darling childrens footprints in the wax,
along with the cat who has a fascination with
wet floors. And after a rousing game of hide
and seek for errant dishes you can almost
be ecstatic while scrubbing plates of dried on
egg that has now formed a protective coating
while hiding under the bed. There is so much
happiness in this job, one has to wonder why
women ever wanted to have an outside career? Apparently my family has decided that
I love to do housework and they love me, so
they have decided not to take that away from
me. I go it alone!
A headline ad from Ladies Home Journal,
every time you serve marvellously flavoured
Centre Slices of Ham. Now, I am not sure
about your household, but I have yet to hear
a cheer from my husband, or family, when I
serve a piece of ham to the table. Perhaps
Frank the Saint Bernard would, but then if he
ate pork it would be a disaster come garbage
day cleanup of the yard!
Another ad asks, Wrapped in Vacuum
Worries? No, not the vacuum cord, but the
need to apply some oil to keep it lubricated?
What? Lubricate my vacuum? I have to add
that to the list? The only worry I have about
vacuuming is how big of pieces can I suck up
before it clogs? However, I do have a couple
of vacuuming tips: do it in the dark. That way
you do not stress over little bit of fluff--you
wont see it. Second tip: vacuum the pets. It
is a preventative way of keeping the house
clean. (warning: do not do this on small pets,
you will lose them?) (unless you want an out
from those little creatures in cages! [although
it can be yet another time-saving problem
sucked away!])
I am reluctant to discuss the joy of scrubbing the bathroom; I would hate to disillusion others that may want to horn in on
the job. When bathroom cleaning day rolls
around in the week/month, one can hardly
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

get to sleep the night before because of the

excitement. There is nothing more joyful than
scrubbing used, dried, toothpaste from the
mirror. Although it does allow time for one to
ponder how it got there in the first place--those tooth-brushers must have had quite a
workout. Dare we even tell about how much
fun it is to clean the toilet? Some things are
best kept a secret or else all would be fighting me to take over that job! And then I love
gathering up wet towels to launder, I get to
almost get a wash at the same time, saving
time and money!
And, oh, the Joy in Laundry. There is such
happiness in trucking down kilos of laundry
2 flights of stairs to the depths of the basement every week. It is even more merry when
Frank, the Saint Bernard, thinks I am playing
with him by my grunts and stumbling. It is so
much to fun to land in a heap of dirty underwear with a slobbering dog in your face.

However; if you were washing clothes in

1941, before most women discovered there
was a different world outside the front door
of your home, you would have had a different
perspective; it was the miracle cure for all of
lifes challenges as I discovered when perusing through an antique Ladies Home Journal
There is White-Wash Winnie with a tale of
how everyone, and I repeat, everyone envied

her white washes in winter. She exclaims at

the end of the ad, I never dreamed any soap
could get clothes so wonderfully white in
winter time! Now, I am not sure who looks at
the whiteness of my laundry in the first place
and I do not have dreams about my laundry,
because anyhow, that would be considered
a nightmare. I do not have laundry envy of
anyone elses laundry.. Wait, maybe I do; if
theres is done.
This ad claims you do not even need a
washboard to use the product; it soaks out
dirt in ten minutes. My laundry could be
done in a flash, I could throw it all in the pool
and be done with it! Bobbing for socks takes
on a whole new meaning.
But the best part of the ad is the salesman
(note man) telling two female customers that
his wife washes her print dresses in it over
and over and they fairly sparkle! (Cheap man,
makes his wife wear her old print dresses
over and over!) And it doesnt redden or
roughen her hands! I hardly need to comment on this with whats wrong with that way
of thinking.

And horrors,according to another ad, you

must worry about undie odor! The women
crying in the picture is so lonely as she too
doesnt use the the right soap.
Betty is pretty, clever, but hasnt many
friends because.and cut to the undies
talking: Bettys going to bed again without
Luxing us UNDIES! It claims to protect
daintiness. I wasnt sure what was meant
by daintiness so I searched it: pleasing to
the taste and, often, temptingly served or
I can only presume that this ad was written
by a man not to be stereotyping at all. Just
I guess in order for one to find joy in laundry,
we must own the right supplies. Good thing
I do own a washboard (as a decoration, and
just in case there is a massive power blackout in the world, I have it covered), but truly

would burn the clothes for heat before I used

it. I can barely get clothes into the dryer without washing them many times over many
days as they get forgotten in the belly of the
washing machine night after night. I am not
sure why the salesman made sure I bought
the best washing machine. I just needed to
buy the right soap to find happiness and
Apparently all of our loneliness in the world
could be cured by washing our undies, or we
can eat those dainty undies to solve world
hunger. I know that you will all think of this
the next time you hear about someone being
lonely--you will wonder what detergent they

Somehow, we have gone to finding the joy

in housework to giving our dainties away to
solve world hunger--it has been a short journey, but useless all the same. My underwear
are not dainty, they were gobbled up in

the washing machine and not replaced

after the wedding ring went on. We are
not in 1941, so therefore, I must go and
find the amusement in
scooping cat litter.
Illustration by:
Kaitlyn Richardson

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Humour - Almost Normal

page 24

Scales of Happiness

When you meet Julie for the first time, you feel
you are connected to her right away. She has
a brilliant smile and a glow about her that you
want immerse yourself in. You get the feeling
that she cares from the first hello and that she
will do anything to help out either a friend
or stranger. Julie knows what it is like to set
goals, work hard and achieve them.
Julie has lost over 100 pounds by changing her attitude, her diet and incorporating
exercise into her daily routine. And although
you think that the story should have a fairy
tale ending; sadly her 14 year marriage broke
up after the weight loss. In fact, statistics show
that 80-85% of all marriages do end after a
major weight loss program by one or both of
the partners. Once a person decides to start a
weight loss program or decide on surgery, their
whole lifestyle must change. Social activities
that may have centered around food are now
replaced with exercise as food begins to take a
back seat to other things more important
in your life.
Her decision to lose weight began with the
gift of an IPod. She had not realized how much
she had gained until she saw pictures of herILML magazine 12 01 2014

self on it. She started at New Years, although i

t wasnt a New Years thing, she just knew she
had to make some drastic changes in her life.
She started to research her food choices and
the amount of calories and sodium contained
in it.
She decided to join a gym. Julie said when she
went to sign up and saw that the womans
area was upstairs, she told them You mean I
have to work out before I work out?
It took a lot of energy to even get up stairs
and catch her breath. Many months of dedication, hiring a personal trainer and a nutritionist
and Julie now is a shadow of her former self.
I have only now become mirror friendly. It
takes a lot to like yourself.
Julie has to start over in every aspect of her
life. She ended her job at Tim Hortons and
moved on to a different career. She has had to
move from their home with her daughter and
live with her mother. It wasnt something she
could have predicted a couple of years ago;
she didnt think by losing weight, she would be
losing her entire world as she knew it.

page 27
The gym has been a great stress reliever. I
love the stories of why the people are there.
Everyone I know that has gone through
drastic weight loss though has gone through
separations or divorces. He
said I changed. I dont think
I did, but I did become more
aware of food and my lifestyle. We have been through
so much, so for the end to
bei so cut and dry was too
When asked about why her
relationship failed she said,
He felt threatened.I was
going to the gym everyday.
I told him to get a gym
membership, but he would
have to go when I wasnt
there. When I am there I get
in the zone, there is nothing
else that exists. It takes me to a different
place for an hour,... helps me to deal with
what is going on with my daughter. And I still
have that. Being in the gym gives me relief
and I had a positive thing
come out of it.
Julie talked about what
it was like when her
daughter was assaulted
and how helpless she
felt. It was hard to get that
phone call and go to the
Being a mother and not
being able to make it better is hard.
She goes to the gym for
many reasons, stress, health, weight and
sometimes to reflect on things that have
happened. Love is blind she said, even her
mother questioned her weight loss claiming
that she was never that big. She was accepted at the size she was before 100 pounds of
fat were gone. It wasnt until she decided to
make a change that her loved ones became
more aware of the health dangers.
Our society is becoming larger, in weight,
and it is becoming the new normal. We have
gone from the Twiggy look which started

in the 70s to a few more curves present

day. However, it seems that in general many
have become overall content with carrying a
lot of extra body weight. I have heard many
excuses as to why such as
its genetic, its stress, or
its baby weight. There is
a happy balance between
accepting your weight and
being healthy.
Cheryl Anne Borne who is
the author of My Bariatric
Life writes: It is important to
recognize that obesity is the
most pressing public health
issue facing America today.
It has reached epidemic proportions and is even harder
to treat than the diseases/
health conditions it causes.
The low treatment success
rate associated with obesity is likely because
people need to commit to changing patterns
deeply woven into social fabric, food and
beverage commerce patterns, personal eating habits, and sedentary
lifestyle. For real change,
individuals need to
get past the crash-diet
mentality to a lifestyle
plan of healthy eating
and increased physical
activity for the whole
family. People need tools
that can assist them in
making these changes
and patient education is
After her separation
Julie struggled to get back to the gym, not
only because of her new work schedule
which is currently over 70 hours a week but
also because she injured herself working out.
She also still suffers from anxiety and panic
attacks and has to find the willpower
over and over It is never easy.
And yet she never gives up.
She has the strength and determination
to keep going; I will be okay, she said
with a grin.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Real Life Real Joy - Scales ofcontents


page 26

page 29

face each new day, and each old horrific

memory as it burst forth now and again?
How did a child who had endured abuse
grow to raise three loving children that
do know how to love?
She danced through life. Thats how.
Just as the sun rises each new day, so
did she.

by Suzie Hollihan

She danced on the morning

the sky turned black.
Its hard to dance with the
devil on your back
We buried her body,
and thought her gone
But she is the dance and
the dance plays on
The haunting dark eyes of a child in carefully braided pigtails peers out from the
photograph. There is a brother on each
side, their shoulders touching, all wearing
the pained expression of having to sit
still; black and white photo of a gray life.
Only one in a lifetime of photos; pictures
depicting frozen moments in time, each
piling upon the previous, until there is a
final photo.
The chubby faced baby wrapped in a
blanket, the little girl with a hand-made
polka-dotted pinafore swaying on a
wooden swing, a hopeful teenager with a
snippet of her baby hair tucked inside a
locket, a trusting girl in a wedding dress
looking bewildered, a drunken divorcee
dancing through someones birthday
party and the slouched elderly woman
perched on the side of her bed.
A picture is only a facade-a glorious front
to the shamefulness behind-ten second
statues of pain or joy, sorrow or love.
Pictures do not give the smell of hugging
someone close or sprinkle your ears with
sounds of laughter. You cannot feel the
warmth of a protective hand clasping
yours long after you feel old enough to
cross the street alone, nor do they make
your mouth water at the anticipation of
your yearly birthday dinner of ribs.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

No, pictures are only a reminder of how

much you were loved in your lifetime. She
had her familys pictures tucked everywhere in her home; surrounding herself
with those that loved her unconditionally.
I study her smile, her eyes and her body
language looking for some sort of indication that in spite of the horrific childhood
abuse she was happy. She is poised,
laughing, daring the camera to find the
secrets. Her broad smile is looking for acceptance; while haunting self-humiliation
lurks beneath.
That black hole of shame. It swallowed up
her innocence, tried to suffocate her spirit
but to no avail. She always had a reason
for a celebration if only to cheer on a football team or a friends birthday. She was
the life of the party, the jokester, while
sadly, often the joke was on her. Behind
eruptions of laughter that bellowed forth,
often could be hard a subtle cry of Help
me. The sad ironic face of a clown.
She hated her smile; that gap between
her two front teeth. A space that matched
a gap in her heart. She could hardly wait
to get false teeth to her own specifications with no gap. It was her way of
having control in a life that was filled with
external events out of her control. And yet
we remember her best for smiling.
How did she teach us to live, laugh and
dance? How did she teach us the value
of being honest, when her life had been
a lie? What gave her the motivation to

She picked herself up, stumbled out into

the world and yelled Good Morning!
She simply faced it head on by burying
the past in the past, allowing only snippets of it to surface now and again. And
when she did, she would pick up the
phone and create a party. Parties were
a release from her torment. She could
entertain, be entertained and forget.
She would amuse her guests and everyone she met with a seemingly unlimited
supply of jokes. And if she ran out, she
would pass around the photocopied
office jokes she had coveted.
In her off times, she would sit in front of
the television, drink whiskey with coke
in a plastic tumbler and knit during what
she called her me time. She would
pick up those needles and furiously
attack them, creating sweater after
sweater, lovingly created one stitch at a
time, to keep those close to her warmly
wrapped in her love.
And love us she did. Even when the rest
of the world would seem to turn their
back on us, she was there smiling and
waving from the front row where she
would have bullied her way up. Everyone
around her would know which child was
hers. Im even quite sure the people in
the back row even knew. Growing up we
didnt know she was alcoholic or even
what drinking was. It was normal for
us. But we never really brought friends
home, so perhaps we kind of knew it
was different than other families.
Back in the 70s being a single mother
did not have the same status quo as
today. It was not discussed openly; only
whispers of it could be heard in grocery
stores or with the many ladys clubs.
Neighbours would pity us, offering cast-

off remnants of their own life. Relatives

would arrive occasionally with baskets
of produce or pink packages of freezerburnt meats. Betty would gushingly accept their offerings of pity while making
faces at them behind their backs, much
to the delight of us children. If we started
giggling she would quickly spew forth
a joke.
Her motto: Keep em laughing, that
way they cant be talkin about you!
And laugh she did. All the way through
her life. Here last words ever spoken out
loud was a joke. None of us knew she
was dying, she had just been admitted
with some bleeding. And the doctor
had said she would be fine and they
had stopped the hemorrhaging and
we trusted him; until she slipped into a
coma moments later. And through the
night vigil of her bedside, we cried, held
each other and whispered jokes into
her ears. I truly believe that the sense of
hearing is last one we are left with; her
heart monitor beat a little stronger and
faster when the room was laughing. She
was only 59, but a lifetime of alcoholism had tired out her body and she had
nothing to fight back with. When she
slipped away; the world stopped for a
while and everything seemed surrealit was hard to believe that everything
carried on without her. But we got up,
put one foot in front of the other and
whispered good morning to the world
for a while until we were strong enough
to shout once again.
She had taught us that when you are
down and out, you only stay there if you
believe it. The weight of depression may
be heavy, but the power of a good joke
is very buoyant. There are many stories
of her antics, growing up in an alcoholic
home isnt all that bad when you are a
Stand up, tell a joke and smile through
those tears. So to you mom, thanks for
the lessons and may we laugh through
all of our years!
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

In Your Face Joy - Dance Moves

page 28

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned,

earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the
spiritual experience of living every minute with
love, grace and gratitude.
~Denis Waitley
Google will give a choice of 56 800 000
searches to find happiness. Why then, in this
age of technology are there so many people
searching for the answers?
One basic human need is to search for happiness. However, much the dismay of the many
retail companies, we cannot find it, we create it.
The media has us convinced that happiness
and joy are available if only you would order
right now! Before the limited time offer runs
out It is your one chance of any sort of happiness they claim. You can solve every one of
lifes challenges just by surfing Infomercials
in the middle of the night.There are miracle
machines even the wealthiest celebrities
purchase that will sculpt and tone and change
your entire life for only 10 minutes a day. Your
house will be ready in a moment for the drop
in company if only you purchase the latest
cleaning tool. They are to be in awe of that
perfect house, that perfect body and those
perfect meals that we can toss in the microwave and along with a few dozen chemicals,
will almost taste homemade. We need to drive
the latest car and communicate on the latest
phone if we are ever to find everlasting love
and true happiness.
Where does one find joy when you feel overILML magazine 12 01 2014

whelmed and that your life is out of control?

Or when you feel such sadness or grief and it
is difficult to put one foot in front of the other;
much less dance or sing or shout for joy.
How do you feel elation when there is a stack
of unpaid bills stashed in an obscure dark
place and you are not even sure of where the
next meals are coming from?
Clinical depression and sadness are different,
but the feelings are often the same. One lasts
longer and you may feel that you are sinking
into a black hole. There are claims of fixing
depression with a variety of pills, most with
horrific side effects, but if you can survive
the suicidal thoughts, your depression will
be cured.
Often we have a false sense of what happiness and joy are. We are waiting for the right
car, the right job, the right partner, and then, and
only then will be happy.
When a class of teenagers were asked what
makes them happy, there were a few different
answers- but most had the same theme; it
was money.
One youth answered that new shoes made
him happy, and when questioned further he
said it put him above the rest of the class.
When challenged to not turn around but share
what all the others had on their feet, he had no
idea. So in fact; our own sense of importance
is truly limited to our own self. It is not the
shoes nor is it money.
One young girl in the class stood up and said,

Happiness and joy are situational depending on the moment or the stage in your life.
Children are happy when they are allowed to
stay up an extra few moments but as an adult
we are annoyed when forced to stay up past
our proposed bedtime. Teenagers are happy
when surrounded by a group of like-minded
peers, but as adults we often crave time alone
to reflect and be still. A mother will find joy in
folding the tiny socks together from the dryer;
a father may find joy sharing his own feats of
strength with his child.
Every person on this earth would have a different opinion of what joy is but the very essence
of is not available for sale. It is in your soul.
It is the very essence of you and what many
spend much of life striving for, although they
had it all along. Many people spend their whole
life questing after it; always striving to have
more and more of everything: money, partners;
clothing, houses or cars. Things can be easily
taken away. And then you are left with self.
Somewhere along the line, we decided as
a society that things solve our happiness
And yet there are many homeless people that
are joyful. How can that be? If we are able to
only have happiness with stuff, how dare they
smile at the world or hum a wonderful tune?
A homeless person struggles to survive each
day, finding the basic necessities of life, armed
with only the hope of each new morning
providing him with it. Yet, often wealthy people
struggle with emptiness after having worked
hard to climb up the social and economic ladder and finding that once they got there, they
werent any happier. They discovered that the
golden egg has been scrambled and they
couldnt purchase it after all.
Advertising and commercialism assures us
that without all of the best and latest we mere
mortals are indeed not worthy of happiness.
But what if they are wrong?
What if you dont buy into that?
What if you chose your own beauty--the only
one that is worthy of your attention-the one

page 31
that comes from within? Beauty is truly just
joy that emanates from within.

Beauty is not a noun; it is a verb. It requires

action to see and appreciate beauty in your
own world. To feel beauty is to create joy from
within and therefore happiness.
Beauty and joy are interconnected. You can
feel beauty in the warmth of the breeze as it
skims across your cheek and ripples through
your hair. That wind is carrying the breaths of
everyone else in the world; connecting us all
as we breathe it in and out. Therefore we can
start finding joy in the simple act of breathing.
Breathing in I calm body and mind. Breathing
out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I
know this is the only moment.
Thich Nhat Hanh
And that is only the beginning. Breathe.
Sense the world around through your breath.
There is joy all around us; but we are often
too immersed in our self-induced busyness
to notice the act of simple bird gliding on the
currents. As I was planning this piece, I looked
up in the sky and there above me was a turkey
vulture playing with the air currents, diving
down and coasting back up, seemingly, simply
for the act of flying. He was not concerned at
that moment of scavenging another meal, but
instead was simply enjoying one of those rare
warm fall days and showing off to his admirers
stuck on the ground below.
There will always be something to do in our
busy worlds and our own arrogant sense of
self-importance. We need to. Its who we are and
how we function as a society. It is just that somewhere along the way we forgot to breathe.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Looking for Joy

It is my son that makes me happy. The others

were not at that stage in their lives, however,
being a teenage mother had made her realize
that it is not the attainment of things but of
something deeper.



page 30

page 33

There is an old cliche: stop and smell the

roses. There is something of value in that
statement. According to Aromaweb, Rose Oil is
helpful for many things such as anxiety, PTSD,
anxiety and grief. Rose essential oil has been
used throughout history in the ancient art of
aromatherapy as a healing tonic and moodelevating supplement. Interestingly, because
rose petals are not very high in oil content,
it takes several thousand pounds of rose petals
to produce just one ounce of this valuable oil.
Aromatherapists use rose oil as to lift
depression and calm the nerves.
Rose oil is also used as an aphrodisiac so it is
no wonder men purchase roses for Valentines
Day and special events. Even Cleopatra is
rumoured to have used rose petals in bath
waters to entice her lovers.
However it is the stopping of smelling-causing
you to stop and focus all of your senses on that
one act of enjoying the fragrance of something
beautiful that allows you to feel inner joy, the
opposite of feeling depressed.
Look in the mirror. Stare at yourself for 60
seconds everyday. Say to yourself, I love you.
The first step to inner peace is loving yourself.
Accept who you are. And truly who YOU are.
Not what others expect or perceive or expect
you to be. There is a difference. You are not
the widow/cancer survivor/mother/ etc.. your
identity does not depend on what you have
done or gone through. It is who you are did all
that. Dont identify with negative issues. Let
your shine burst through.

If you are looking

for full service
design services,
one piece or an
entire home full of
furnishings, Willow
House is your one
stop shopping
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

As part of the Random Acts of

Kindess Day Nicole Lyrette, a salon stylist decided
to draw a name from anyone who put in for the
draw through a social media site and give them
a new hair style. She would pay for it along with
providing the service. This generous offer was
given by a struggling young mother with two
children. Here is the following:
Got pampered today from
the beautiful Nicole Lyrette.
Won a draw random act of
kindness. Love my new look.
You work wonders. My hair
hasnt looked or felt this
great in a long time .
Thank you so much

Happiness is not something ready made. It

comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama
Take some time and figure out what gives you
heart flutters. You may think if you had the
bigger house, the better partner, the new car.
then, you can finally be happy. But with each
item you think will bring happiness, figure out
why it would. Do you want a bigger home to do
more entertaining? So perhaps it is because
you like to be with your friends more? Money
in the bank may just be a goal of having some
stability. Each thing has a soul or an essence.
It is the that that we have to figure out. We can
find joy in the right places; you had it all along.
I guess we can find joy in all the wrong places
according to the advertisers, but in all the right
places if we search within ourselves.

10 Steps
to Having a Juicy Life
Nicole Lyrette

Because it is in giving that we receive.

1. Be Kind to yourself: Allow yourself to
be pampered for a while. Soak in a hot
bath. Allow yourself an extra long hot
shower without worrying about the water.
Splurge on a special treat and settle in
with a favourite movie
2. Write a letter/card and send it to a
friend from long ago. Catch up. Talk
about all the great things that have
happened in your life. Tell them how
they fit into your journey

18 Main St. Cambridge ON 519-624-8288

info@willowhouse.ca www.willowhouse.ca

3. Clear out the clutter from your house,

your mind and your heart. Get rid of
unused and unwanted items. Donate
them, sell them, give them away. It is in
your head or heart, write them down and
have a burning ritual to dispose of them.
4. Listen to your thoughts: How many
thoughts do you have in a day?

Between 50,000 and 70,000! How

many of yours are loving and kind to
both others and yourself? According to
research as much as 98% of them are
the same as the ones you had yesterday.
AND 80% of those are negative.
We believe you can do better.
5. Sign up and show up - Commit yourself to doing something that makes you
feel better. A gym or exercise class, pottery or photography lessons, volunteer
etc It is not enough to think about
doing it--you must SHOW UP
6. Discover your passion: Sometimes we
lose sight of what truly makes us happy.
Think back to the early mornings when
you were a child and you couldnt wait
to start the day. What was it that you
loved to do. As you grew up, often those
simple things of being outside or playing
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Joy Bringers Club - Caught in the act


JOY BRI t in the act
get caugh

page 32

page 34

a game get forgotten. You may find

some similar traits of those things you
can incorporate into a creating a new
life. Did you love to read? Volunteer
reading to the blind elderly. Did you
love to play dress up and create skits?
Did you love to be outside? Join a
walking group. The world is yours.
7. Set your limits, know your boundaries. Before you commit to any requests
give yourself some time. You can
answer with simply, I will check my
schedule and get back to you. If it
does not fit into your overall plan for
a great life; dont do it. I read once of
a man who always answered that he
couldnt do something because of his
family policy. No need to explain the
reason because you cant mess with
policy! Just because you can do something, doesnt mean you have to.

page 35

tales of woe. Watch what you say.

Try for a day, monitor your words. If
you have struggles and worries, dont
vocalize them, only write them down
on an index card. Get a small file box.
Date them, and file them in alphabetical
order. As you think of a solution put it
on the card! As the worry disappears,
move the card to the front of the box
and say out loud I love my life. As you
start to solve your challenges, the other
worries will be pushed further and
further to the back of the box. You will
be focusing your energy on the positive outcomes of your thoughts.
10. Fill your time with things that matter.
Think you are not a time-waster?
Keep log for a few days of how you
spend your time youll be surprised
at how much more time you can
carve out for yourself.

8. Appreciate the small things:

Make a list of everyday things
you love such as...
9. Always look on the bright side of life,
la dee da, la dee da. Our initial reaction
is to bemoan our lives. Often trying to
outdo the other person we are communicating with, to up them with our

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 37
Theres nothing sweeter than being with
myself, by myself. The amusement, the
wonder of thoughts! They appear so real
in their brilliance, they create the whole
world, the majesty and play of it, the life
of feelings, the joys that mind brings forth
as nectar to itself. Thoughts appear from
nowhere, they move by like clouds, they
change, they dissipate, theyre gone. Who
named the sky? How did he know that?

do somet
let us know

Heres a few ideas to get your juices

flowing, of course your ideas will probably
be more tailored to your style. When you
have an unexpected and wonderful reaction, let us know how it went, Write us a
story for this section and we will publish it.
- And give yourself a big giant checkmark
or a shiny star for all you do.
Add your own at the bottom and pass
the magazine along
- Put change in a payphone coin return
and make someone feel lucky when
they score it
- Give someone who served you a gift
card as a tip or thank you
- Find a neighbour who doesnt get out or
have many visitors and make it your
mission to visit, bring snacks, a book
or a movie
- Leave an envelope with a gift card on
someones desk to thank them for
having a beautiful smile or a great
good morning
- Deliver baked goods to someone or
bring them to work
- Give a compliment to strangers; you
never know what they are going through
- Mail some fun items inside a 2L plastic
pop bottle--the bottle is the envelope
- Sprinkle glitter on sidewalks and watch
kids run through it
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

- Go through your old photos and give

them or make copies to the people in
them. Better yet-mail them in a nice
box--with a handwritten letter
- Make 2 meals while you are cooking
and deliver one to a friend. You can tell
them ahead of time that you will be delivering supper to give them a break
- Write a letter and mail it to a friend; add
stickers and clippings of interesting news
- Put together a cleaning crew to help
someone out who is overwhelmed. Just
show up with all the supplies when you
know they are home
- Make up care packs of personal
hygiene items and send them to a
homeless shelter; add a couple treats as
well--chocolate is always appreciated

What is Joy?
Is there a difference between
happiness and Joy? I totally believe so!
Joy lifts us up and comes flooding over us.
It may feel like a peak sensation, but it
shouldnt be reserved for special occasions.
We can and should soar and rejoice every
day, no matter our troubles. And in reality
we are Joy, it is our birthright.
Happiness is different, it requires something or somebody and when we get it, it
feels like we are happy but those feelings
dont last. It never seems enough, and we
always want more .
I will tell you a story base on a book that
change my Life . A Thousand Names For
Joy, by Byron Kathie
Were born alone, we die alone, and we live
alone, each on our own planet of perception. No two people have ever met. Even
the people you know best and love with
all your heart are your own projections.
Sooner or later youre the one whos left.
Do you realize how wonderful that is?
After all, youre the one you go to sleep
with and wake up with, youre the one
who orders your favorite food and loves
your favorite music. Youve always been
your favorite subject your only subject.
Its all about you.

I sit with my eyes closed. Two hours pass,

then it occurs to me that not a single
thought has happened. I discover that tears
of joy are running down my cheeks. I dont
stop them, even though the joy seems bigger than I can contain. All that it is, all that
it was and ever could be, is invited to live at
its highest power now. Its all right if it kills
me; it doesnt matter, I know not to stop it.
I become so bright, so weightless. Lived,
so fearlessly allowing, that the joy can have
its own full life through me. And as everything becomes visible, I see its true nature,
which is love. Everything else is burned up
as this joy has its way with me. I could kiss
the ground, I could make love with the dirt,
with the cement, the leaves, the soil, the
texture of reality between fingers that cant
even hold it. Theres nothing to grasp,
nothing that can be controlled. I notice that
Im worshiping, not with any words, but
with palm of hand against cheek. Where
will this love end? How could I possibly
know? Eventually, the sobbing changes to
the softest whisper, a breath, and then not
even that.
Truly the best medicine for Joy is not to
look for it. I have a saying, it goes you
want terror on purpose? Make a
plan to be happy. If you say, when I do
this, I will be happy, or when the kids are
grown, I will be happy. Your happiness
will always be in the future.
Enjoy this wonderful moment with
gratitude, love and peace
my beautiful friends
~~~Aloha ..... Namaste !!
Lucien Wolf Heart

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Wolfheart Wisdom

Take thehi1n2g for someone else and
page 36

page 39

by Suzie Hollihan and the rest of the Blackmore-Dahmer-Trendell Clan

of rolling dough. Funny thing about

rolling hundreds of cookies, the first are
perfect and by the end look like huge
hamburger patties
Many tears are shed as we remember
loved ones are no longer here. Then
laughter as we remember the screwups they had done or the jobs we
made them do. Icing sugar and flour
rain down upon everyone as the mixers
are placed on high speed.
Lunch consists of Plastic cheese slices
placed over tuna and pineapple on
Hamburger buns, and broiled until they
are black and blistery-- because that
is all we have ever had, and you cant
mess with tradition.
At the end of the day, we survey our
wares, (because it is all about the look

Once a year, just before Christmas, the

girls in my family all converge upon
one house to bake Christmas cookies,
which usually lasts until well past supper and into the next day. This tradition
has been going for as long I as can
remember with new family members
added along the way.
This yearly tradition begins with a
pre-plan the cookie event-which of
course involves food while we discuss
the pros and cons of each recipe--most
of them handed down through many
years of trial and error. Each year we
try to include new ones; some are kept
and some are discarded--or at least we
think we get rid of them, that is until we
try them again and again try to cross
them off the list. Some of our more
epic fails were rainbow coloured magic
wands that were to be fed through a
press---and then baked--sprinkled with
glitter and handed out for all to enjoy.
Except the dough stuck, the wands
crushed and we ended up with a pile
of glittery dust in the cookie tin after
hours of work. Or the time my sister
used flour instead of icing sugar in the
shortbread--they were so delicious,
almost tasting like a hard dog biscuit.
There are always a couple trays burnt
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

in the oven while we are busy doing

something else and a few usually hit
the floor. A huge disappointment were
the Lumps of Coal cookies that ended
up looking like lumps, but not coal-like!
Ingredients needed are planned out according to how many you want of each
cookie. All of us give out cookie trays
as gifts to neighbours and friends so
the goal is to have at least 20 different
kinds of sweets. And we marvel over
the cost of raw ingredients every year
compared to the cost of purchasing a
delectable assortment already made.
But that doesnt stop us! We call each
other from different stores as we find a
great deal on coconut or sugar!
Armed with baking sheets, bowls and
Christmas Chef hats, the girls all arrive
early in the morning. Large tables are
set up everywhere to hold ingredients
and the cookies as they are finished.
Many of our cookies are unbaked and
have to shaped or rolled. The porch
begins to fill with bowls of mixtures
trying to chill quickly so we can move
on to the next recipe. Newbies to the
scene get the monotonous sticky job

Sugar Plums

2 boxes of strawberry gelatin (not the

light kind)
cup Icing sugar
cup condensed milk
1 package of shredded coconut
2 tbsp. white sugar
cup Nilla Wafers ground up fine into
red food colouring
1 tsp. vanilla or almond flavouring
Whole cloves
Mix 1 box of gelatin with remaining
ingredients except the cloves. After it is
well blended, chill for about hour until
you are able to form small shapes similar to strawberries about the size of a
tablespoon. Roll in the extra gelatin and
place a whole clove into the top of each
of cookie. Keep refrigerated and these
cookies do improve in flavour
after a couple of days. Dont eat the
clove, I usually warn people hahahaha, sure I do!

Marshmallow Rolls

Melt 2 squares of semi-sweet

on the tray anyhow) and cookies are

divided according to who bought
what, and off we travel to distribute our
wares. No one is allowed to sample
the cookies until Christmas, however
there may have been a few times that
favourites had to be remade as the tins
were mysteriously emptied.
Our favourite recipes are below, with
many, many satisfied mouths to testify
to that! We chose to put recipes in that
are foolproof, so that anyone with limited baking experience can give them
a try! Start your own traditions, but the
funny thing about starting them, is that
you have to keep doing them through
the ages. And Christmas just wouldnt
be Christmas without hundreds of little
cookies awaiting thieving little fingers
would it?
chocolate and let cool
1 egg
1 tbsp. softened butter
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
tsp. salt
Mix well and then add:
cup maraschino cherries
cut in half
2 cups miniature marshmallows
cup nuts--either
walnut or pecan
You will need 4
sheets of waxed
paper about 12 long.
Put cup coconut
on each sheet of
waxed paper.
This is how you are
going to form the logs. Divide the
mixture into 4 sections and place one
section on top of the spread out coconut on the wax paper. Shape into a log
shape using the wax paper and making
sure the coconut covers the outside
of the chocolate roll. Twist up the ends
tightly and chill. Slice and serve: or
break off a hunk from the fridge in the
middle of the night and enjoy!
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Baking Bliss

page 38

page 41

Happy Songs You Cant Help But Dance To!

Simply the Best Shortbread Snowballs...

that we colour green

(not sure why, but again tradition)

1 pound softened butter (not margarine)

1 cup icing sugar
3 cups flour
cup cornstarch
1 tsp. salt

1 package softened cream cheese

1 tbsp. softened butter
2 cups icing sugar
cup shredded coconut
green food colouring
(just a few drops or they will look toxic)
Beat butter with mixer in large bowl
until fluffy. Slowly add the remaining in- 1 cup shredded coconut to
gredients.. and I mean SLOWLY.. or you toss rolled balls into
have a huge snowstorm in your hair.
(trust me) On a parchment lined baking Mix all of the ingredients except the
second amount of coconut. Chill for
sheet, drop dough by teaspoons and
about hour or so...Until they are able
flatten slightly with a fork or potato
to be formed into something; then roll
masher. (If you chill slightly you can
into small balls and then roll about the
create little balls and flatten them with
coconut. Place in tin with layers of
the flat side of your palm.) Add a small
waxed or parchment paper between
piece of candied cherry if you like for
them. Chill and thats it! Green snowthe pizazz. Bake at 350 degrees F for
balls! ( We tried to make them white
about 10 minutes. Let cool slightly on
one year---it was a fail too. No one
pan before removing them.
would eat them, they were looking for
the green ones because they
taste better)

Music is a very powerful tool. It affects our

moods and can shift our energy level. You
can use music for instant therapy if you are
feeling down or sluggish. Of course, it is all
about choice; you need to put on pick-meup songs for those moments! Studies have
shown that when we listen to music we
love, our dopamine levels are raised, which
is the feel good sensations we want. The
sound waves of music actually help activate
all areas of the brain; your brain chemistry
becomes altered.
Even the anticipation of a song or of a
downbeat or a break in rhythm while the
song is playing, gets the dopamine flowing.
Music appears to correspond with activation of the reward circuitry in our brain, says
Penn State, Shenango psychology professor Yuna Ferguson. That is, our brain, when
listening to music we like, responds in a
similar way to other pleasurable experiences
like food and sex.
There is a reason we choose some music
over others to feel this effect. Neuroscientist,
Jack Lewis PhD. researched different music
types to find what worked the best.
He found that a fast pace, a predictable melody and a punchy beat are all key elements.
According to Ferguson, Research suggests that, generally, music that is in major
keys, rather than minor keys, and has a fast
tempo is more likely to be associated with
positive moods happiness and vitality.
Of course, music has the ability to bring
memories back of different events where
music played a fundamental role in your
entertainment and the associated emotion.
There was a certain song you danced to
with a loved one, or singing at the top of
your lungs with friends in your first car, and
when you hear it years later, it brings a smile
to your heart.
What seems to happen is that a piece of
familiar music serves as a soundtrack for
a mental movie that starts playing in our
head, cognitive neuroscientist Petr Janata at
the University of California, Davis, explained

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

to LiveScience. It calls back memories of

a particular person or place, and you might
all of a sudden see that persons face in
your minds eye. So if you pick music that
reminds you of good times in your past,
youll likely feel great in the present.
Even mediation is not without music. Most
guided meditations have background instrumental music or chanting which is known to
release a certain vibration and awareness
Music has always played an important part
in our society. Great care is taken when
choosing songs for both weddings and
funerals. Music is used to soothe upset
babies and to generate movement in
exercise classes. Studies have shown
that people are asked to pick out their own
favourite music, they suffer less anxiety.
If you have ever tried to choose songs
with a friend in a jukebox, you know how
different each person tastes are.
Put together your own list of feel good
walkin on sunshine type of music and play
it when you get up or are heading down the
road to work. Your day will seem a little
bit brighter!

List of Feel Good Songs

To Get Your Toes Tapping
Wake Me Up Before You GoGo.....by Wham
Walking on Sunshine....by Katrina and The Waves
Happy Togethe.......by The Turtles
500 Miles. by Barenaked Ladies
Beautiful Day. by U2
99 Luftballoons. by Nena
Hot in Here . by Nelly
Three Little Birds.... by Bob Marley
Happy. by Pharrell Williams
Dont Worry by Happy by Bobby McFerrin
Thrift Store Feat. by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
The Lazy Song. by Bruno Mars
Raise your Glass. by Pink
Chariots of Fire....by Vangelis
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Music Therapy

page 40

page 43

heart, brain and nervous system interactions that are sensitive to changes in emotions.
Measuring someones gratitude is quite
literally possible with todays cutting-edge
science and technology. So how exactly do
you measure gratitude scientifically?
Offering some food for thought this
Thanksgiving apart from turkey and
mashed potatoes the
Institute of HeartMath
(IHM), a recognized
leader in researching the
physiology of emotions,
is serving up a belt-buster
when it comes to the
latest understanding of

Advanced research at the Institute of HeartMath and by others elsewhere has provided
evidence that gratitude is not simply a nice
sentiment or feeling sustained feelings of
gratitude have real benefits, including the

Measuring coherence can accurately show

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Boost to the immune system The IgA

antibody, which serves as the first line of
defense against pathogens, increases in
the body.
Emotional compound interest The
accumulated effect of sustained appreciation and gratitude is that these feelings,
and coherence, are easier to recreate with

continued practice. This is because experiencing an emotion reinforces the neural

pathways of that particular emotion as it
excites the brain, heart and nervous system.
The downside is that you also can reinforce
negative emotions.
Thankfully, gratitude and appreciation can
create their own positive psychophysiological holiday in your body without the
necessity of a feast.
For some this holiday, the appreciation equation might be something like
gobble + gobble = thank you and naptime.
Sincere self-evoked feelings of gratitude
and appreciation, however, are the only
ingredients needed, as explained by
IHM founder Doc Childre and Director of
Research Dr. Rollin McCraty in the e-book,
The Appreciative Heart: The Psychophysiology of Positive Emotions and Optimal

The institute has been

studying human emotions for more than 23
years, among them gratitude and appreciation.
To show our appreciation, IHM has a Free Gift
for You, The Appreciative
Heart e-Book.
Science Behind Appreciation According
to research at IHM, true
feelings of gratitude,
appreciation and other
positive emotions can
synchronize brain and
heart rhythms, creating
a bodywide shift to a
scientifically measurable
state called coherence.
In this optimal state, the
bodys systems function more efficiently, generating a greater
balance of emotions and increased mental
clarity and brain function. Coherence also
can be measured using heart-rate variability
(HRV) the naturally occurring beat-to-beat
changes in heart rate, which can be seen in
an electrocardiogram (ECG).

University of California, Davis who studied

this process in 157 individuals over 13 days.

A Gift for You:

Download The Appreciative Heart e-Book
for Free. Click the link below.
Gratitude is a simple and effective
practice and the benefits are real and
attainable. Gratitude creates a healthier,
happier and more fulfilling state of being
for anyone who takes a few moments to
feel and reflect on it.
With care,
Sara Childre,
President, Institute of HeartMath
Biochemical changes Favorable changes
in the bodys biochemistry include improved
hormonal balance and an increase in production of DHEA, the anti-aging hormone.
Increased positivity Daily gratitude
exercises can bring about a greater level of
positive feelings, according to researchers
from the University of Miami and the
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Heart Science

page 42

Its a Mummer Thing

Newfoundland Christmas Tradition

by Suzie Hollihan (Newfie by Marriage)

In some communities if the identity

of the Mummer was guessed,the
disguise would come off, as the
stranger has now become a friend.
Usually mummers will dance one
dance before they spirit away to the
next neighbours house.

www youtube.com/watch?v=D8OPy7De3bk

The best known tradition from Newfoundland at Christmas, besides the partying and
eating, is a loud knock on your door with a
stick and a muffled voice asking,Any Mummers llowed in?
Men dressed as women and girls dressed
as men are ushered into the kitchen to
share in food, drink and of course a dance
round the floor. The host and hostess of
these parties would serve a small lunch
of Christmas cake with a glass of syrup or
blueberry or dogberry wine. All mummers
usually drink a Christmas grog before
they leave each house. (Grog is a drink of an
alcoholic beverage such as rum or whiskey.)
Long johns worn on the outside, womens
bras stuffed full, hats, rubber boots and
scarves are all part of the attire-aimed at disguising who the real person is underneath.
Lace curtains can be used as veils worn with
a hat to secure. Pillowcases are often cut
with eyes and holes for the mouth and worn
over the head. Lumps and humps are added
with pillows and stuffing and the mummer
will try and alter the way they walk with
limps or staggers. The hosts will poke and
prod and ask questions to try and discover
who it is.
Voices are disguised often by inhaling when
they speak or putting something under
the tongue, although not many words are
spoken in fear of giving it away. Some mummers will talk into a pickle bottle or a can.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

My husband said that as a child he

remembers mummers pounding on
the door every Christmas, stomping
in with their wet boots, and pointing to the radio. They would never
speak, just drink, dance and go out
the door. The man who was dressed
as a woman would always go over
to the woman of the house and the woman
dressed as a man would dance with the
man of the house. My first encounter with
mummering was when I was screeched
in on my first visit. My husbands aunt
was dressed as a man and a cousin was
dressed as a woman. As I had never had any
encounters with this, it was pretty terrifying.
Mummering actually originated in Rome
but was copied in Great Britain. As people
crossed the ocean, so did the tradition. In
St. Johns, Newfoundlands capital city, there
used to be The Mummers Parade. It was
not like the Santa Clause parade that we
know, it was loud and rowdy and people
would get hurt. In 1861, someone was even
killed and at that time it was banned.
Another Mummer tradition that was
stopped before WW1 was Mummers coming
to a house party and putting on a small skit
for money. The play always had a hero that
killed the bad guy and the doctor would
always bring him back to life again.
This tradition of Mummering or Janneying
as some call it can continue on throughout the whole Christmas season until Old
Christmas Day (January 6). So dont be
surprised if you open the door at Christmas
and there is someone standing there with a
paper bag over their head and rubber boots
on their feet, yelling, ANY MUMMERS

page 45

The ugly stick is a traditional

Newfoundland musical instrument
fashioned out of household and tool
shed items, typically a mop handle
with bottle caps, tin cans and small
bells and other noise makers. The percussion instrument is played with a crafted stick
called a bow and has a distinctive sound.
Supplies Needed:
Assorted washers, rings, keys, jingle bells,
small cans, beer caps or bottle caps, bottle
shells, anything that will rattle and make
A rubber boot
Assorted screws, nails, a hammer and a
screwdriver, hand saw or something to cut the
pole, hot glue gun
Wooden broom pole
string mop to create hair if you choose
Duct tape
Large can for the head (coffee, juice or paint)
Plastic google eyes
20 x 2 x 1stick of wood that you can
cut notches out of all the way down
to make a bow
Cut your broom pole to about 4 in length.
You can attach a 6 piece of that end you cut
off to the bottom of the pole for more stability
inside the boot by screwing into the bottom,
creating an L shape.
Put small holes in bottle caps if using with a
small nail. Gather up groups of 10 or so and
screw or nail to the side of the pole starting
at about way down the stick. You can add
as many as you want, except leave room to
attach the rubber boot on the bottom. Along
with bottle caps, or in place of you can attach
small tin cans as a tuna can, or washers--jingle bells or old keys. Look around your tool
shed or junk drawer. Anything goes.
Screw a boot with a washer to the bottom of
the pole and screw a large tin can to the top
of the pole for the head. Glue on eyes and the
mop head for hair decorate your stick how
you choose. You can paint, add accessories,
or even a toque. And there is no wrong way
to do this, so no stress!
Playing - The ugly stick is held in one hand at

about up the shaft and the musician would

hold a stick (bow) in the other which he would
then rub across the stick with the notches
creating a vibration and noise, enabling the
bottle caps and bells to jingle. The percussion instrument would be lifted and dropped
on the floor in a rhythmic fashion while the
musician would strike the attachments to
embellish the sound of all the noise!

1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups raisins
2 tsp. ground cloves
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 cup butter
2 cups hot water
3 cups all purpose flour
tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
Grease and flour a 9
cake pan and set aside.
In a large bowl mix flour, salt and
baking soda.
Meanwhile put all of the rest of the ingredients into a medium saucepan, place on
stove on medium heat and bring to a boil. Let
boil for about 3 minutes; remove from heat
and cool in fridge. When cold, mix two parts
together and beat with mixer until smooth.
Place in prepared pan and bake at
300* F for 2 hours.
Cool until lukewarm and wrap in plastic
wrap at that point so it doesnt get
too hard.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Spice it up - Its a Mummer Thing

page 44

from the pier, tied with a rope to a hitching

post for boats. The water was thirty feet deep
and if I fell in, I could be pulled to safety.
I have many fond memories
of fishing with my father, who
also was a fisherman. Once
I caught three large catfish
and distinctly remember
how pleased I was at the
time. One could say, I was

Memoirs of the Soul of a Fisherman

by Bryon Lee Lambert
We all have passions that come and go in our
lives. Some are for a season, but some passions remain for a long time. Let me share with
you about a passion that has been with me for
over 60 years. I was born in Tillsonburg, Ontario
on May 3, 1945. One could say I was a war
baby. The Second World War ended two
days later on May 5.
My parents were greatly influenced by the
war years. My father, who was 19, enlisted in
the Royal Canadian Air Force. His passion
was flying and he desired to be a Spit Fire
pilot. He did not become a pilot but made air
crew and became a Wag (wireless operator air
gunner in bombers). He was sent to Torbay,
Newfoundland to 245 Squadron Coastal
Command. It was commonly called The North
Atlantic Squadron. They hunted submarines
in the North Atlantic and provided escort cover
for convoys. It was not an easy job and it was
dangerous. After their flight they would return
for fuel in Halifax.
He met my future mother there in October, 1943
on the Dartmouth Ferry. Three months later,
with permission from his commanding officer,
they got married. She was a beautiful blond
from Copenhagen, Denmark.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Bryon Lambert winner of Big Fish with Shawn Richardson

How the war changed many lives. His crew was

sent to England and were KIA in July of 1944.
My father had transferred in April of 1944 to be
a pilot, being trained in Hagersville, Ontario.
This decision saved his life.
A little history is good for the soul, but back to
my passion, along with some clues: It always
involves water, lots of patience, and can be
challenging and fun. If you guessed fishing,
you are correct.
At about 10 years old I would anxiously wait
for the first signs of spring when the grass is
dry, the ice melts and the sun warms the earth.
This would be the sign to go fishing in the Little
Otter, a small creek in Courtland, Ontario. It had
chub, suckers, carp, catfish, and the elusive pike.
Pike were a big deal. Later on, a few speckled
trout were to be found in the creek. How my
friends and I loved to compete for the best fishing spots. I would get home from school and
go fishing for an hour or two. It was a life from
the pages of, Leave It to Beaver, but in a
country setting.
Gradually, I graduated to larger rivers like the
Big Otter in Tillsonburg and Port Burwell. At
Port Burwell we caught large catfish, often
called channel cats or bullheads. I would fish

I also spent many years fishing at Long Point and Turkey

Point. This would involve
fishing in a beautiful all wood
V8 inboard motor craft. We
mostly fished in the Inner
Long Point Bay near Millionaire's Island. Our quest
was small mouth and large
mouth bass. Those were the
days of my teen years. I was always up for
fishing and catching night crawlers, whenever
the opportunity presented itself. At this point,
something traumatic happened to me; my father died at the age of 44. Everything seemed
to change.
After a time of sowing my wild oats I once
again turned to my passion of fishing. Fishing seemed to be a constant in my life. I am
grateful for those times spent on the water.
It reminds me of the movie, A River Runs
Through It.
From my mid-20's until my mid-60's I fished
mostly rivers. Many morning hours were
spent on the rivers in Ontario. Some of my
favourite haunts were the Beaver, Bighead,
Sydenham, Saugeen, Sauble, Camp and of
course, the Grand.

page 47
weighing over 12 pounds. It was a battle of
wits, and epic challenge for both of us. It took
20 minutes to land that beautiful fish on the
Sauble River.
Fishing experiences are
lasting memories, the time
of landing oneor hearing
the phrase, fish on. I've had
many different times with
fishing buddies, some good
and some not so good. I
would assume it's based on
I would ask you at this point,
What is your
I have been pondering what
passions really mean, and
believe they can become
obsessions. That's when we
need to make the decision not to let our passion or obsession control us, and use wisdom
to make good decisions when our interests
drain the joy out of our life experiences. We
need to take a serious look at it and balance
our life so that the desire for what we find
pleasure in is not destroyed by compulsion
and obsession.
My encouragement is that
whatever you put into your passion,
enjoy the time, be balanced, and be
thankful for the pleasure it brings you.
Find what brings you joy and pursue it.
Have fun. Remember that you are in control
and never let a passion control you. Have a
great life, and thanks for sharing a slice of
my passion.

I have many fond memories of all my fishing

adventures. Most were wonderful, even
standing in a river in the pouring rain for 6
to 8 hours. I would often say to my fishing
buddy, Are we having fun yet? Most of
the fish we caught were released. I've even
kissed a few and then sent them on their way.
Sounds silly, but that's what some fishermen
and women do to show respect for a living
One of my favourite memories is of an
adventure with a beautiful silver rainbow
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Memoirs of the Soul a Fisherman

page 46

Losing weight is simple.

Not easy! By Jesse Hollihan

How many times have you said to

yourself; This is it, Ive had enough; time
to lose weight? Imagine if you would
have stuck to that oh so infamous statement the first time you said it? Well, what
happened? Are you healthier? More
fit? Skinnier? Heavier? Or have those
jeans you struggled to get in to 5 years
ago--- the same jeans that made you
declare the infamous statement time to
lose weight got even tighter? Or have
they been banished to the abyss at the
back of the closet?
Dont feel discouraged, youre not alone.
Weight loss is simple; eat healthy, and
exercise. However, if its that simple, why
dont we all have bodies like the Greek
gods? Because simple isnt easy.
Consider taking on the role of a healthy
lifestyle like starting an online course. It
takes time, dedication, and most importantly consistency. Weight doesnt come
off overnight. Consider this, how long did
it take you to put the weight on? Five
years? Ten years? Longer? Youve been
living an unhealthy lifestyle for years.
Dont expect to change in a week. We
need to take baby steps. Do research.
Get some guidance whether that be a
gym partner, a nutritionist, a personal
trainer. This is your health, your confidence, your image, no one elses.
You need to be comfortable with
who you are.

be tossed out the window the second

that double chocolate cake comes out;
but start replacing them. For example,
instead of fries and gravy, try avocado
fries and Greek yogurt dip, or instead of
potato chips have baked zucchini chips.
You may have had some of these eating
habits for most of your life. We need to
replace them with better choices before
we can eliminate them. As for exercise,
join a gym, take a class, go for walks, and
invest time into this. How good would
you feel if you hopped on that scale and
the number was the weight you were
in your early twenties? Or 30s? Lets
use that as motivation to push through
these lazy habits of fast food and chips
and microwaveable meals. Stop excuses
such as, I had a long day at work and Im
too tired for the gym. The why has to
outweigh the how! Now go do some
research. Find out about proper diet and
exercise, not a fad way that will take your
money. There is no quick fix!
Be motivated, and take baby steps
towards your goal. Once this adventure
starts, it will forever be your lifestyle.
Jesse Hollihan is a personal trainer
and the developer of SkyBound Hoops.

page 49

Artisan, Beauty, Health & Wellness Directory

The Funky Olive Hair Studio, 165 Highland Road East Kitchener
519-742-8831 - syviam@gmail.com
Gypsy Scents Aromatherapy Products, London ON,
www.gypsyscents.com - gypsyfire9@gmail.com
Rosalinds Bra Fitting Specialist, 30 Main St. Cambridge
519-623-2430 www.rosalinds.ca
Lucien Wolfheart Gagnon, Tarot Reader and Reclamation Gifts,
519-620-0636 luciengagnonsreclamation.shutterfly.com
Harold Hollihan, Dancing Stitches Sewing Machine Repair,
Carol Dahmer, Zija Health and Wellness Products,
519-841-8889 caroldah@hotmail.com

Local Food Spotlight

Local foodie Rob Marriott runs South Central Sausage, which is located at
Canadian Tire on Dundas and Main. Their Artisan Sausages are handmade in
small batches. All of their condiments are homemade with no preservatives.
Theres even Bacon Jam for all you boys who love mmmm bacon.
Treat yourself to value and flavour. www.southcentralsausage.com

Our other favourite for business

meetings is The Red Basil on
Main Street in Cambridge

With the world literally at out fingertips

through smartphones, tablets, laptops;
healthy recipes are a click away. Stop
ordering the salad or wrap at your favourite fast food places and then asking
yourself every morning, Why havent I
lost weight yet?. The most important
thing you can do is ease your way into
this. Start by not eliminating things from
your diet, because we all know that will

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Artisan, Beauty, Health & Wellness Directory

page 48

page 51

By Rhia Wicks granddaughter of Ben Wicks

Trust yourself. You know more

than you think you do
~ Benjamin Spock
As a single mother of two, I find myself
questioning every decision I make.
Should I have spoken to him that way?
Could I have handled that situation differently? Trust yourselftrust that your
judgement is that of a protective, loving
and nurturing parent. Trust that you
have the ability to model a love of life for
your children that they can hold onto,
and in turn, grow into a lover of
life as well.
We all have ideas about how we want
our children to be when they grow up
and set off into the world of adulthood.
We want our children to be leaders in
their fields and aspire to be the best
they can be. One thing that we should
never forget however, is that they first
need to learn how to trust themselves
and believe in life. I sincerely believe that
this sets a positive and solid foundation
for our children to thrive in this world.
Lets start small. We want our children
to be productive, attentive, respectful,
etc. So how do we do this? How do we
make our children become the adults
we want (and hope) for them to be? I
have an idealet us love them unconditionally. Dont think about who they
need to become and how they need to
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

behave, live in the present and love

them now. Love your children and never
let them go.
In my opinion, the secret to loving your
life and loving everything that surrounds
you is to embrace those in your life. As a
mother, my children are the ones I wish
to embrace. They are the ones that
remind me every day how lucky I am.
I had a string of bad luck over the last
year, which resulted in my becoming
a single mother. My children however,
were the ones that kept me going. I
decided that I was going to make the
best life that I could for themand I
did. My oldest loves his school and my
youngest is completely smitten with his
daycare provider. Everything is within
walking distance (including work) and I
am surrounded by positive people. Every
morning I wake up I remind myself of
how lucky I am and I always remember
to love my life.
When we made our big move, I had
doubts. I was worried that my children
would be uncomfortable or dislike living
in a big cityand then I stumbled upon
the quote by Benjamin Spock, Trust
yourself. You know more than you think
you do. It may seem silly, but it made
complete sense and justified this move
for me. I know that I trust my instincts,
so why doubt them now?

Our children will flourish in any environment and they will light up any room if
given the right tools. They need to be encouraged to take chances, and what better way to do this then to practice what
you preach. Lets teach our children to
take chances and follow their instincts.
Do what feels right for your children and
you will see many positive outcomes
from this. If you trust that you can model
for your children the way in which you
want them to behave, then do so.
It is amazing how one can create a
positive and loving environment solely
by embracing love. This love does not
need to come from a partner but rather
from within. Love the things in your life
that are available to you, love what you
have created and made happen. But
most importantly, love the children
you are raising.
You are raising your children to be productive members in a fast paced society.
The difficult thing about our society now
is that everyone is driven to succeed
and they do not necessarily think about
the consequences of their actions.
Lets change this! Lets create a society
in which people love and respect one
another. We need to raise our children
to respect the environment around them
and nurture their inner selves. We want
our children to love unconditionally and
love the lives they have created, and that
WE have created.

my point is that I believe it is a little bit

of both. Children will be influenced by
everyone and everything around them.
Therefore, the best thing we can do is
try and keep our children close and expose them to positive things. If we show
them how to live a life of love, then we
have done something right.
My intention here is not to tell you how
to parent your children. My goal is to
provide an article that inspires you to
instill a love of life in your children and
encourage them to appreciate life in all
its glory. I would also like to advise all of
you mothers out there to trust yourself
and your instincts. It has been my experience that the more I trust in myself
and my beliefs, the better my outcome
has been. The less you doubt and the
more confident you are, the better the
outcome you will have.
If we have any power at all as parents, we have the power to shape our
children into positive and loving people.
There will always be external forces that
come into our lives that have a power
we cannot control; but we can control
how that power affects our children.

There is an old debate called nature vs.

nurture. Essentially this debate revolves
around the way in which people become
who they are. Did they become this
way because of the environment they
were in? Or did they become this way
because of the people who raised them?
Clearly there is much more to this debate then I have expressed here, but
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

A Millenials Perspective

page 50

page 53

Brody Haight discusses his thoughts

on the homeless
by Suzie Hollihan
Brody hugs. He loves to give hugs and show
people how much he cares and that includes
people from all walks of life. His mission is
to show people that he cares. He has been
through addictions, knows the hopelessness
that comes along with it and the long struggle
to climb back out and into society. But he did
it. He has his own business and is now able to
give to those that need his help. Everyone in
the world deserves compassion and respect;
everyone needs to feel that are valuable to
society. Brody gets that.
Brody says, If I see a homeless person I don't
really care about why he is homeless, I don't
really care if he is a drug addict, or just lazy!
What I do care about is if he has food, water
and things he needs to survive on the street!
It's obvious something is lacking that he or
she is in this place in life! Even if he looks well
clothed or looks able to work! Don't judge
these people!! When I was on the street in
Toronto I talked to some homeless people
and it was obvious, that they wanted to be
outside homeless! But if you think hard about
this you must be extremely broken from lack
of LOVE!! Not everyone thinks like me but I'm
extremely passionate for these people! If you
have not experienced this, go to a shelter that
is overflowing with people outside starving
and fighting for
clothes! I witnessed
this giving out
clothes! I watched a
hopeless man crying
in his wheelchair
freezing, and crying!
Heartbreaking, right?
How I became passionate about the
homeless was from
my parents. My
mom and dad
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

always looked after people, its kind of

ingrained in my soul. Anytime I saw someone
who was less fortunate, I just wanted to hang
out with them and have a conversation. For a
long time I wanted to live like that. I liked
the freedom.
Eventually as I went into my recovery, I had
an even stronger passion. As I found my faith,
and read about what Jesus taught, I felt my
passion grow stronger and stronger and it
sparked something in my soul. I came up
with ideas and things to do. I told my dad one
day I am going to collect a bunch of stuff and
take it to Toronto. We just drove around and
found a man on the side and stopped. He
actually didn't want anything. He said he was
fine, but about two minutes later, they [homeless men] were coming from everywhere.
I met one man who was very sick and dying,
probably about my age and all he wanted was
a pair of socks and a drink. He said he was
very thirsty. We gave him what we could
and he went on.
We ended up at Seaton House, one of the
largest emergency shelters in Toronto, with
our van full of stuff to give out, but they
wouldn't accept it without an appointment.
So we set it up outside and you should have
seen the men coming. They were coming
from everywhere!
We gave them coffee and all the things
we had.
I did feel fear. Men were wrestling over the
stuff and drug dealers were threatening us
and telling us what we were doing wasnt
going to make a difference and we should
get out of there. Men were stealing things
from each other.
People were from all areas from life. I got
emotional when it was time to leave. I was

talking to
one man in a
wheelchair who
was about 65
and he was
crying because
he had nothing,
he said that
everything he
had was stolen.
I didnt know
what to do so
I left. There is
only so much
you can do.
I had to leave.
I cant even
imagine being
stuck there.
People often say,
Oh they are just addicts, but not all of them
are. And even so, they are still humans.
Last winter I went and stayed overnight on
the streets of Toronto. I was at a conference
with many millionaires and when I told them
of my plans for the night, they told me I
should help myself before helping them.
I dont think they got it.
I took bags of stuff to the shelter first and
was left with nothing. My friend and I went
and prayed with a man who was sitting on
the street. He said that no one loved him so
he left his home in Winnipeg and moved to
Toronto. We shared a $150.00 cigar with
him and moved on.
Not really knowing what to do, we went
outside of the Hard Rock Cafe and laid in the
middle of the sidewalk against the wall so
that people had to step over us. We felt this
would look like we were homeless, and we
really didnt know what else to do. No one
really gave us anything, other than one girl
who felt bad and gave me her fries.

I couldnt even
stand the cold.
In the middle
of the night we
found a hotel and
snuck into the
garbage area to
get some sleep.
I was so scared
we were going
to get caught so
every little noise I
jumped. I actually
got sick from that.
I was sick for
two days. I cant
imagine how the
homeless do it all
winter. I was starving and cold and couldnt wait to get home.
After doing these little things, I am always
looking for ways to help the homeless. Many
of them are there because of addiction and
the fact that they lost everything.
There are programs to help them with their
addictions and some will be helped but not
all. There is a misconception that if you help
a homeless person, they will not seek out
help for themselves.
Something in my soul keeps awakening to
the fact that this is my journey to help the
homeless and help people find their self
worth. They are very approachable. You can
go right up to someone living on the street
and give them a hug. I always had that humbling feeling how they lived. They are
the most caring and loving people.

It was so cold. We couldn't find anywhere to

go. Everything was shut down and we just
kept getting kicked out of everywhere. One
girl stepped over us and said Oh, those poor
men. and then kept on walking.

I really thing that we are all here just to help

people. I think that by sharing my life experience I can help others . I tell people about my
own struggles. People ask me how I can talk
about my own addictions, but I want to be
honest. It doesn't bother me. I have nothing
to hide; it is part of my journey. I know people dont understand drug addicts and that is
a big problem. It is a disease. It is easy to tell
people dont pick up the bottle. I used to
think that too.

One man eventually came up and kneeled

down, asking us if we were okay. He was the
only who cared, giving us a $5.00 bill.

I think that they are spiritually sick. They

want to be alone. I found that even in my
own addictions I wanted to be away from soILML magazine 12 01 2014

Hugs For The Homeless

page 52

I find that many of the people on the street

had no fathers to love them. I was told once,
beware of the people who are not loved.
They will hurt you, because they dont love
It is hard not to judge. People judge the homeless. One man told me the homeless chose
to be there. They chose to be a drug addicts. I
had great morals, but I still took wrong paths.
I try to remember where I came from and how
that made me feel.
I would like to start a group of people who can
go out and just love the homeless; it could
make a difference. All they need is love and
someone to care. It matters that you are there
and showing them concern. They may not
get help for their addictions, but that
doesnt matter really.
I believe that is what we are supposed to do,
go out and love people.
Love is the most important thing in life. I
always talk about love. All of the stuff we have,
is going to rot and go in the garbage. The biggest currency we have is in our heart. We can
spread love around. It is so contagious.
Brody Haight is the owner of
Brody Benjamin Fitness
How many people in our community alone are
2 paycheques away from being homeless? It
is not something limited to a certain profile of
person, families end up without a place to stay
if they get evicted after becoming ill or losing a
job. I personally know families that have lived
in their car and their children went to school. I
think we need to become more aware of the
society we have created where there is such
pressure on having the latest and the best,
while so many struggle to feed their children.
It is a hidden secret that needs to be exposed.
That is why we chose to give $1.00 of every
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

page 55
magazine sold to Nutrition for Learning program. So many of our youth are going
to school hungry.

Noisy Silence

page 54
ciety. I wanted to be alone. But not everyone
wants a different life. I met one man who was
a soldier. He didnt want to leave the street because he had a group of friends on the street
who loved him. He suffered from PTSD and
addictions. He had his group of friends that
loved him. He felt loved. People cry over each
other and many have never had that in their
life before living on the street.

Homeless Statistics in Waterloo Region (2012)

3492 people living in emergency shelters
3280 households on a waitlist for
community housing
10,314 community housing units
$751.00 average rental cost for one bedroom
$372.00/month shelter allowance
$474.00/month Ontario Works allowance

Phil Kline Composer

Despite sporadic success in addressing

homelessness in Canada, little progress has
been made toward a permanent cross-country
solution, says a national report into the extent
of the problem.

Unsilent Night Heard Around the World

The report's initial numbers tell a grim story.

Among the report's findings:
At least 200,000 Canadians experience
homelessness in any given year.
At least 150,000 Canadians a year use
a homeless shelter at some point.
At least 30,000 Canadians are homeless
on any given night.

Cambridge is one of the lucky 67 different

cities in one of the 4 continents that holds
a Christmas time tradition of community
coming together and walking to the sound
of beautiful music composed by Phil Kline
through the city streets.

At least 50,000 Canadians are part of the

"hidden homeless" on any given night staying with friends or relatives on a temporary
basis as they have nowhere else to go.
Those numbers come from the Canadian
Homelessness Research Network (CHRN)
and the Canadian Alliance to End

by Suzie Hollihan and Jane Wojtaszynski

It all started in winter 1992, when Phil had

an idea for a public artwork in the form of
a holiday caroling party. He composed a
multi-track electronic piece that was 45 minutes long (the length of one side of a cassette tape), invited a few dozen friends who
gathered in Greenwich Village, gave each
person a boombox with one of four tapes in
it, and instructed everyone to hit PLAY at the
same time. What followed was a sound unlike anything they had ever heard before: an
evanescence filling the air, reverberating off
the buildings and city streets as the crowd
walked a pre-determined route. Phil says:
In effect, we became a city-block-long
stereo system.
Unsilent Night is a sensory experience, you
become the music, you are the performer. It
brings not only community together, but it
is a global event as well.
Come out and enjoy ethereal, electronic
soundscape played by you Phil Klines Unsilent Night Music, art and architecture combine for an avant-garde experience. Bring
your mp3 with speakers or your portable CD
player and join the moving symphony

December 11,
2014 - 7pm
Cambridge City Hall,
50 Dickson Street

Boardwalk along the

Grand River

If you are interested in

submitting a light installation for the event,
Hot Chocolate at City Hall Camplease contact Lisa at
(519) 740-4681 ext. 4277 bridge after the event
or freundl@cambridge.ca
About his inspiration in starting Unsilent
Night, Phil says: It was a combination of my
love for experimental electronic music and
memories of Christmas caroling as a kid
in Ohio.
As a participant in the event of 2013, I was
pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. My daughter and I braved the cold
weather and made the
trek downtown to be a part
of the experience that is
Unsilent Night. There really
is no way to explain how it
affects you. It was a lovely
way to share an experience
with my daughter. Being
part of the experience
means that you are an
active participant by using
your device to play a part
of the music. Its the crowd
participation that makes it
so spectacular.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

by Suzie Hollihan

Think you cant change your life with a 3

second sentence? Doreen Hillier of Waterloo
did! Doreen has been nominated and the
recipient of many awards including: Rogers
Oktoberfest Woman of the Year, Junior
Achievement Spirit Award, KW Inspiring
Woman of the Year and the Douglas Barclay
Award through Toastmasters. And she
did this by just showing up and creating a
new life for herself.

You have to keep prices competitive to keep

the value in your business.

One woman that had attended Doreens

Budgeting for the Single Woman seminar
confessed after that she had always wanted
to be a published poet but it had never happened. Both friends and family had never
encouraged her and even laughed at the
idea. Doreen asked her if she was serious
to then produce 100 pieces of poetry within
3 weeks and she would help to get her pubDoreen has not had an easy life. She was
lished. That Christmas, Doreen visited the
raised in Newfoundland by a father who
72 year old woman and purchased 3 of her
worked out of town for long periods at a time books. She calls herself the connector, conand an ailing mother who needed much care. necting peoples dreams to reality.The bonus
Doreen did then what she would do for the
is that as she helps others succeed, she
rest of her life; she looked after her mother
succeeds herself; it fills her need. With her
and siblings and managed to keep everybackground in money management she is
thing going while going to school. Marrying
able to help single woman to secure a future
young, she believed in the fairy tale
for themselves.
ending of happily ever after, except he was
abusive and when she realized that by trying Doreen has many words of advice for creatto be a better wife and mother, over and
ing a secure financial life for yourself. Mostly
over again wasnt working; the beatings
pay yourself first; set up savings account and
continued anyhow, she left with her two
be vigilant in
young children. She decided she could do it
putting money into them. It helps to have a
alone and she would not only survive, but be goal to work towards; whether a vacation,
a debt paid off or an article you wish to purchase. There is no magic solution, just watching what you spend is more important than
what you make. She believes that her

After being an accountant in her own business for many years, Doreen decided that
it was time to switch gears. She had always
wanted to become a life coach and writer in
order to help motivate and inspire others to
live their dreams. When Doreen decided to
change her life, she gave up a steady income
and business that had taken years to grow.
She discovered that by keeping her accounting prices low, she had actually done herself
a disservice and was then unable to sell the
or even give her clients to other agencies.
own happiness and joy comes from seeing
others realize their dreams.
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

Everybody has to show up Doreen says.

Both sides. I can show them what to do but I
cant make them. In 1995 I joined Toastmasters
because I was very shy. When it came time to
present my first speech, I was writing to over
100 people from around the world. Some
Sundays I would spend writing 12 or more letters as part of a challenge. I took the challenge
because I love writing and I really wanted to
connect with people. I had pen pals when I was
a child and I thought it would be nice to do that
as an adult. It filled another need that I had.
One of the things Toastmasters taught me
was to say yes to opportunity. Obviously you
cant say yes to everything; but I say yes to as
much as I can and as much as I want to. There
was a time I said yes to too much, you can get
burnt out. Then you have to get the courage to
say no. Its harder to say no. You may have to
step back and tell yourself that is okay to say
yes and it is okay to say no. You have to set
The most important thing I can share is to take
opportunities. When you hear it knocking, take
it. I heard it 4 years ago and gave up my accounting business. I needed to have quiet time
to focus on my writing. Now its my turn to say
yes. I heard the call. I have to become open and
vulnerable and trust that all will be provided.
I was vulnerable as I had no other income. I
thought, Who is going to hire me to speak
when they havent heard about me, or who was
going to read my books?
Last year Doreen joined Public Speakers
Association and has since had many opportunities to speak. As a result of that, I have
done workshops on budgeting for both single
woman and retirees.
Her son, who is a professor in Seoul, South
Korea, asked her to give a speech to his students while she was visiting there on how to
give a great presentation. She noticed that the
students had little vocal variety and little eye
contact. She had them practice good mornings

until they could shout it out and smile! Her son

reported that the students have since tried to
incorporate what she had talked about and
their marks have improved.
People often ask her how she does it. She
owns a few vacation homes, a house and has
the freedom to do what she wants. You have
to live and give yourself the best you can. I
have made a good life by working and getting
involved in the community.

If you are thirsty, for knowledge,

you learn and you apply and you
get the results. You have to
take action and drink it in.
And the 3 second sentence:
Just Show Up!
(You cant help but succeed)

10% Long term savings:

Tax Free Savings Account
10% Investments/Stocks
25% Household
15% Vehicle/Transportation
10% Groceries/Food
10% Charity
10% Vacation
5% Emergency Fund
5% Entertainment
ILML magazine 12 01 2014

She Showed Up

page 57

page 56

page 58

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and birds in a lush tropical garden!

Help us to continue
to ensure students in Waterloo Region
attend school well nourished.

A small investment in time to

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will ensure that students in
Waterloo Region attend school
well nourished. Please consider
a monthly donation and know
that you have made a difference
in the life of a child in our

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ILML magazine 12 01 2014

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ILML magazine 12 01 2014


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