Topic : What is the differences between People who graduated College and who has not

in Korea.
I. Introduction (paragraph 1)
A. Hook: College is everything to Korean students.
B. Connecting information: Korean students study hard for 12 years, only to get into
higher level college.
C. Thesis statement: Its because of our countrys strange structure. The treatment of
a person who have only graduated high school and who graduated college is so
different. Ill suppose that A has graduated only high school, and B has graduated
college.
II. Body
A. Paragraph 2 (first point of comparison) topic sentence: The first difference
appears in salary.
1. If they have same ability, B would get much higher salary than A.
a. In Average, people like B have higher position than people like A. Its
because of schools ties exist at workplace.
b. Elderly people give more chance to employees from their school. This is
the reason why salary differs.
2. Salary also affects to the quality of life.
a. B would have more spare money, so he/she can enjoy more leisure
activities.
b. Also, B can prepare for immediate payment like cost for family events,
which A cannot.
3. It is very important factor in life actually.
a. It is related with self-confidence.
b. We can easily imagine it when we think of the situation A and B goes to
the graduates association. B could enjoy that and could be easily hung
out with their friends, because he/she would be treated well. But A may
could not enjoy the place because of inferiority complex.
B. Paragraph 3 (second point of comparison) topic sentence: Treatment at workplace
also differs.
1. The person like A ignored by elderly people while working.

a. Most of elderly people think the B works better.

b. So they treat A not good as much as B.
2. Moreover, people like B have more chances to promote.
a. If i were a CEO, Ill give more chances to well-educated person.
b. And as I said above, people holding a high position at workplace is elderly
people, who care about the college very much.
3. Lastly, the inferiority complex will re-appear in this situation.
a. B would work along with compliments, and A would not.
b. It would cause the inferiority complex to A, and it could cause
inconvenience in work, and finally A would loss the working ability.
C. Paragraph 4 (third point of comparison) topic sentence: Thoughts of people,
namely social regarding differs too.
1. Actually, the discrimination between A and B is not only exist at workplace. It
also exists everywhere in our society.
a. For instance, to find a part-time job from the position of B is not a simple
task.
b. Most of jobs that contain high income need high academic ability. In
addition, from the position of boss, almost no one choose B if both of
them has equal ability.
2. Even the marriage partners parents can hate it.
a. I know some cases that parents refused marriage because of the lack of
academic ability.
b. This shows how severe the situation is. If it is your case, you will almost
get mad and regret your degree.
3. It eventually causes the loss of function as a normal social member.
a. The marriage bureau investigated the reasons why they divorce, and the
academic ability recorded second grade.
b. It means people actually care about the academic ability very much.
III. Conclusion (Paragraph 5)
A. Restated thesis : As I told above, so much discrimination is passing off now.

Ignorance at workplace, salary comes from that workplace, ignorance from the
boss and a lot of people passing by. The reason why I wrote this essay is my will
to change this atmosphere. This is not the right society and right flow.
B.

Suggestion opinion or prediction : In conclusion, I want to suggest all of people

who live in same age with me. New age that will lead this society is people whom
aged as much as me. We have to endeavor to change this society. No
discriminative thought or looking, no limit for new recruit just because of school
degree. This is the thing we have to carry out.