In 2000, the Office of the Queensland School Curriculum Council published an excellent

description of the sociocultural factors that most influence adult relationships:

Relationships are socially and culturally constructed. A range of
sociocultural factors including community expectations and rules, laws and
policies, economic and physical resources, technological and ethical factors
can influence an individuals attitudes towards, behaviours in and expectations
about relationships. The media and popular culture often present unrealistic
images of relationships and play a critical role in persuading people to attempt to
conform to these ("Sociocultural Factors and Relationships," 2000).

As I reflect on the most relevant sociocultural factors that shaped my ways of embarking
upon and sustaining relationships, I find that community expectations in tandem with ethical
factors hold significant power over choices I make and steps I take with the company I keep. Dr.
Kathleen Berger reminds us that adults today take longer than previous generations did to
publicly commit to one long-term sexual partner (Berger, 2014, p. 641). This was certainly true
in my case and a brief examination of the abovementioned sociocultural factors helps reveal
why.
I have mentioned in past posts that, though my family of origin seemed a close one, it
was significantly injured by the acrimonious divorce of my parents. Their parting had many
roots, not the least of which were their individual and collective efforts to keep up appearances,
to achieve the so-called American Dream, and to have the perfect familyall in the face of
often-unshared expectations for one another and divergent paths concerning raising children.
The dissolution of their union came as a shock to all concerned, including the two of them and as
with most divorces, the long-term impact was deep and painful. Berger observes that
developmental events that seem isolated, personal and transitory are shown to be
interconnected, socially mediated, with enduring consequencesDivorce is difficult for both

partners as well as for their family members, not only immediately but also for years before and
after the event (Berger, 2014, pp. 644, 661).
Because I was raised in an environment promoting perfectionism and clearly prescribed
dos-and-donts, I was all but phobic in potentially entering a marriage commitment that could
end as my parents marriage had. I wanted no part of that and found potential lifetime partners
both alluring yet simultaneously very threatening. It was not until:

meeting and befriending my now-husband;

staying in a platonic relationship for over a decade before braving entrance

into the romantic intimacy arena; and

making a sacred commitment to work through all issues (read, Divorce

will never be an option) alongside the traditional sacramental vows we took in front of a
company of priests and witnesses
that I felt I could overcome my fears of not meeting community (including family of
origin) expectations and daring to make a lifetime commitment to my husband.
It could be argued that the result of my delaying the long-term (lifetime!) marriage
commitment has catalyzed non-traditional results (such as no biological children, the prospect of
a silver wedding anniversary at age 74 and golden wedding anniversary at age 99). This is
certainly true. However, for me, other non-traditional outcomes associated with this delay have
proven very beneficial, i.e., my husband and I feel we are living the adage, Love is not about
counting the years but making the years count. The time it took to work through the myths and
fears nestled within our adolescent and younger adult formation was, simply stated, the time it
required. No judgment; that is just was how it was for us. Have we missed out on various fruits
of marriage? Perhaps, but we do not truly think so. We have children in the form of numerous
close nieces, nephews and youth. We also are owned by pets we cherish. We are close and
definitely put practices of working through issues into frequent use. Thats marriageand it is

significantly different to those I experienced/witnessed in the family marriages closest to me, my

parents chief among them. Regardless of when it became alright in my life to enter marriage,
our relationship has been worth the time needed to give it the solid foundation I craved and
continue to highly treasure.
References
Berger, K. S. (2014). Developing person through the lifespan (Ninth ed.). New York: Worth.
Sociocultural factors and relationships. (2000). In Health and physical education: Years 1 to 10
sourcebook module. Retrieved from
https://www.qcaa.qld.edu.au/downloads/p_10/kla_hpe_sbm_607.pdf