RUNNING HEAD: My Virtual Child Reflection

My Virtual Child Reflection

Justin McEntire
Ivy Tech Community College

MY VIRTUAL CHILD REFLECTION

In my childs 5th year the CDC states that he should be a people

pleaser. Social milestones include wanting to please friends and obey rules.
Essentially he is picking up what social norms are. It also states that he is
aware of his gender and can tell what is real or made up. This is also the
stage where he starts acting more independent than he has before.
In communication he should be speaking clearly and directly with full
understanding of tenses and stories. He should also be able to recite things
like his phone number or name.
Cognitively he should be able to count and draw fairly well. He should know
a handful of numbers and letters by sight and he should be able to copy
shapes.
Physically the CDC states that he should have fairly well mastered his
motor skills, and will demonstrate this through jumping or skipping. His finer
motor skills can be seen through how he uses his utensils.
With regards to how I helped him develop these skills, throughout the
course I was judged as being kinder than most parents but also stricter. I
tried to encourage his interest in science rather than push him towards
classes he did not enjoy. I figured that so long as the work was done that he
could decide for himself what he liked.
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-5yr.html

MY VIRTUAL CHILD REFLECTION

When Jonathan turned 6 I chose to encourage him to participate more in

groups. I know that it is perfectly acceptable to be an introvert, (I am one),
but only so far as it does not hamper his life later on. We also had to go over
gender roles (which he seems to have stereotyped). I explained about how
there are exceptions to the role and that not everyone fits in a preconceived
notion. I also tried to advance his love of reading by continuing to
dramatically read to Jonathan. I do not believe that books can compete with
movies unless the inner narrator is just as dramatic as the one on the
screen. Another milestone was talking about death with Jonathan when his
pet died. I chose to explain what I personally believed about the afterlife.
Overall, this year I tried to push him to be more independent. I put him in
boy scouts, rewarded him for working on his own, and discouraged camping
out in my room during thunderstorms. It seems to be paying off, since he is a
bright kid in school. In short, he is starting to understand circumstances
outside of his control, independence, and mortality. Quite a psychological
leap for just one year!
At 8 years old Jonathan seems to have taken his independence and run
with it. Even though some parents let their kids run free I have chosen to set
a block or so as a boundary that he has to stay within. With regards to TV, I
keep him on a pretty short leash. As we learned in class, television does not
offer very many tangible benefits at this age, and even fewer moral benefits.
I let him watch G to PG TV, along with some shows with me, but nothing
gruesome. Along with the sense of independence, I chose to start giving

MY VIRTUAL CHILD REFLECTION

Jonathan an allowance based on chores. I want him to know that money does
not grow on trees, and I want him to learn to earn what he keeps. For the
most part, his major milestone is earning more and more freedom. He is
getting a better grasp of morality, work ethic, and is growing socially through
Scouts. I try to let him decide what he likes, and in general he seems to be
leaning towards science. This seems to be working just fine, since all of his
grades come back fairly average to high.
While Jonathan was 10 everything seemed to run on its own. He learned
to love reading, his science, art, and math all excelled, and he was a good
sport overall. This year I did not really influence much. I let him bike a little
later (offering more freedom), I gave him an allowance, I supported his
reading and scientific development by suggesting programs, and that was
really about it. He seems to have decided for himself who he is, which
sounds like a detraction from who I am, and I am perfectly fine with that. I
would say that the biggest thing is that he is developing his own identity,
which is both fairly new and unique. He is learning who he is in contrast to
his friends, for better or worse.
I did not get to make any real choices till Jonathan turned 12. Yet again I
was the loving dictator (according to the program) as I was both stricter and
more loving than most parents. I channeled what Jonathan played on the
internet, and I reinforced what rules I had set down. One major milestone
was Jonathan developing a sense of empathy, stating when he thought
things were unfair. I capitalized on this, and tried to get him to view things

MY VIRTUAL CHILD REFLECTION

from others perspective. Overall Jonathan is not much of a leader, but he is

not a wall-flower either. This is probably due to me not pushing him to take
on leadership roles at a younger age, but then again, who said he had to
lead? His is cooperative, helpful, performing well in school, and well decided
in who he is.
(Around this age puberty should be in full swing, but there was not much
that I could do to affect or alter that).
When Jonathan turned 14 I pretty much allowed the status quo. I did not
push him to join any new clubs, merely suggested that he do so. I made sure
that he did not get into any legal trouble, because short term jokes can have
long term consequences. Another milestone was Jonathans advanced
reasoning capabilities. While his ethics seem rather legalistic he is able to
argue his case; this is in sharp contrast to the because its wrong defense
he would have given a few years ago. Another interesting detail is his
introspective mentality. He is now comparing himself to both his friends and
his parents psychologically, figuring out how he is like each parent. As one
more step towards self-rule he now has a higher allowance but also pays for
a lot of the things he wears or does. He is also using his reasoning skills
against his friends when they disagree, showing both a sense of logic and
empathy.
When Jonathan turned 16 he earned both a drivers license and a car. He
then proceeded to dent up the car (on a couple of occasions). I was pretty
light on him, and just made him pay for what he messed up. I did not see any

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point of pushing the issue since he was not trying to wreck his car, but he
was also old enough to fix the problem himself. He also pushed the limits of
his freedom, with his car, his girlfriend, his curfew, and it is becoming
painfully obvious that he is almost an adult. Yet again, I chose to be there for
him, but I am still the strict and loving dictator. His last report stated that he
was doing very well in school, receiving all As or Bs, and I can be proud of
him for that. Over time I have released his leash and now he is free. I believe
that by being strict I showed him moral codes that he will live by, but by
being more caring than most parents he felt the freedom to become whoever
he wanted to be.
Overall I do not believe that I would change anything. Based on what I
have learned both in text and online, I know that being strict, or helicopter
parenting can be bad and can adversely affect a child. Typically that is due to
the parent wanting the child to be a clone of them. Since that was not my
goal, I do not believe that my child turned out that way. I also did not allow a
free range parenting style, since I wanted him to have the self-confidence to
succeed. That is why I chose to be strict but loving overall.
The biggest thing I learned from this project was the width of some of
the problems I might come across. I was frequently wondering did I make
the right choice and without a list of possible scenarios, I do not know. I
suppose I must have done well, and I think my child turned out ok.
As a teacher I can now apply a higher sense of empathy for the parents.
Just like me, they do not have an answer sheet. They are stumbling through

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life on their first or second child, and frankly they still will not know what
they are doing by their fifteenth child. I also have a better idea of what kind
of instructional style might work best. Structure in the school is not exactly
like in the home; we have a lot fewer freedoms than parents, but the core
ideas can still be applied. A firm understanding of rules mixed with the
support of a teacher could allow a student to fully succeed in their
classroom. I would say that overall I have a better idea of how a child might
think, what kind of background they could have, and what kind of structure I
would want to implement.