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Vanecia Ellis
Ms. Morton
UWRT 1102-024
May 3, 2016
Argument Essay
Domestic violence is defined as incidents or allegations of physical violence between
two people who are married, who live together or who are dating or in other words any
physical, emotional, social, sexual, and spiritual violence between two people whom have any
relations in the past or presently. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, more
than 12 million women and men fall victim to domestic violence, rape, or stalking by an intimate
partner. Domestic violence has lifelong effects on an individuals overall well-being. With
relationships and the media being a very important aspects in todays society, this essay will
discuss how the media is ineffectively displaying the wrong message about domestic violence.
Domestic violence has always been a type of violence that has been around for centuries.
Civilians to famous singers to professional athletes have all been in the spotlight because of an
incident of physical domestic violence. Movies, reality shows, and programmed television shows
have depicted the many aspects of domestic violence as if it is a joke. For example, one
particular episode of the adult comedy Fox television show Family Guy attempts to bring
awareness to the sensitive subject of domestic violence but fails horribly. The producers
portrayed the victim as being dumb and by making dumb excuses for her abuser. HLN reporter
Aj Hammer and Dr. Wendy Walsh discusses how they believe the producers went too far and
how the producers made fun of the victim more than they made fun of the asylum. This

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episode was very ineffective because they have the public thinking that victims of domestic
violence are making dumb excuses and thats why they are in the situation they are in now. The
media fails to publicize the importance of leaving the abuse behind and to seek immediate help.
Not many domestic violence victims speak out on their abuse for several reasons and many dont
even report the violence to authorities until it is too late. Domestic violence victims end up in the
hospital with numerous wounds, conditions, damages, bruises, etc. that the nurses and doctors
cannot report without the permission of the patients approval and this often results in the return
of the victim to their abuser. The media should do its job by advertising the importance of getting
away from your victim.
Although the bruises and scars after an attack may eventually fade away but the internal,
physical, and emotional pain and scars remain for a lifetime. Many domestic violence and
intimate partner violence victims report to have permanent conditions even years after the abuse
had ceased. Alexis Jetter, an online journalist, interviewed a woman named Sarah. Sarah was the
victim of physical violence by the hands of her first husband. According to Americans Overseas
Domestic Violence Crisis Center, physical violence is defined as throwing objects at the victim,
pushing or shoving the victim, threatening the victim with weapons, hitting or punching the
victim, and/or choking or throwing the victim(AODVC). They were married for 10 years and
the article describes how he bounced her head against the walls, sexually assaulted her, and
almost strangled her to death with a dog leash (Jetter page1). Sarah thought that once the
marriage was over all of her problems were over; well they werent. She reported to have many
symptoms of PTSD, severe migraines, and six miscarriages due to neurological damages that
disrupted her hormonal balance. This is only a few of the many chronic health issues that have

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affected the victims of domestic violence. Health issues range from simple irritable bowel
movements to arthritis to incurable diseases such as diabetes and high blood pressure.
Most domestic violence victims return to the abuse after the first attack because they feel
guilty. They feel as if they cause the attacked to happen. Many victims tells friends I said the
wrong thing, I forgot to let him eat first etc. blaming themselves for the attack. All across the
country, victims show up to the hospital with ridiculous claims such as falling down the stairs or
bruising themselves horse playing with the children but the doctors determine the wounds were
consistent with those of a domestic violence attack. A law should be passed that forces a
domestic violence victim to file a police report when an attack has resulted in a hospital visit.
This could help stop the victim from returning to the abuser and possibly stop the abuse from
continuing to happen.
Throughout the research of this topic, many stories have crossed my path. Many domestic
violence victims have come out to social media, through petitions and so many other creative
ways to reach out to the world to bring awareness to domestic violence and to help encourage
other victims to leave and receive some help. All of these stories had a common theme of being
emotionally attached to the abuser. According to the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence
Crisis Center, emotional violence is defined as insulting the victim, calling the victim names,
yelling at the survivor, blaming the survivor for everything, and threatening to kill or harm the
victim and/ or the children(AODVC). Emotion is what drives a victim to stay and defend the
abuse and the abuser. As I was interviewing individuals and reading survivor stories online I
came across an interesting case that caught my attention. This particular victim was brought to
my knowledge through an interview. It was an interesting case to me because it was someone
close to me. A close family member was a victim of domestic violence for several years and no

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one in our family was aware of it. Her name is Dominique and she is now thirty years old.
Dominque has two kids: one from the abuser and an outside child. When the violence first began,
she had just had her second child and the abuse was not physical but instead it was emotional and
psychological. He would call her out of her name, he would belittle her in from of her children,
and he would also speak down on her children (including his own child). Throughout the years,
the arguments continue to worsen. For example, he would use profanity in the presence of her
young children giving the children a horrible father figure to imitate. This abuse continued for
several years long before her family knew about it. She would get into an argument and leave the
house with her boys and go visit her mothers home. When her mother would question her about
the argument, she would defend him and continue to return to the abuser and over the course of
the last year of the relationship, the abuse started to turn into physical altercations.
Arguments that led to police involvement, public arguments that led to several arrests of
both individuals, and they ruined several social events when they failed to stop arguing.
Dominique always had an excuse and a defense to why her boyfriend could not stop the
violence. She would say I provoked him, I knew he had alcohol in him, I should not have said
that, etc. crippling him to continue to the emotional and even the physical abuse. Dominique
began to change her ways by participating in the abuse. She tried to stop the abuse before it
happen. She would leave the house when she felt an argument sparking but one day she did not
have time to leave. He came in and started the emotional abuse first. Belittling her, calling her
out her name and then to her surprise just hit her! She was shocked. He hit her in front of her
children, he gave them the idea that hitting a woman is okay. Thats where she decided that the
abuse must stop there. It shouldnt have gotten that far. Dominique should have stop the violence
when it first began. Her excuse was having an emotional attachment. She felt that she could

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change his violent ways by fighting back, she felt that having conversations after the arguments
would change his emotions towards the violence he persisted in. Emotional domestic violence
has the same results of physical domestic violence and its not acceptable.
The most common types of domestic violence includes physical and emotional violence
but what most individuals dont know is that social domestic violence is also considered
domestic violence. According to the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center
(AODVC), social violence is when an abuser insult the victim publicly, belittling the spouse as
a spouse, coworker, person, parent, etc., isolating the victim from family and friends, and
demanding all of the victims attention (ADOVC). Social and emotional violence is similar in a
few ways. For example, when an abuser places the blame on the victim often it eventually affects
the victim begins to develop an emotion of being useless and an eventually cause the victim to be
unable to interact in a particular social situation. Social violence is more common and also
overlooked by the society, family, and friends. Although its not illegal, it affects the victim
tremendously. Being in a socially domestic violence relationship affects a persons self-esteem.
They will not feel good enough and they will fear for the social abuse that may follow an
argument or a mistake. Social violence affects how an individual interacts with people in a social
situation because they fear of being embarrassed in front of others or fear the feeling of not
good enough. Abusers use this type of violence as a technique to keep the victim isolated from
their friends and family. When friends and family arent around to identify and call out the
abusers intentions then the abuser can continue to brainwash the victim. Brainwashing is also an
example of social violence. Abusers place the blame and accusations on others to keep the victim
feeling safe around them and only them.

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Spiritual violence is another type of violence that isnt discussed often. AODVC defines
spiritual violence as discounting the survivors sense of right or wrong, denying the survivors
value as a person with legitimate wants and likes, questioning the survivors sense of reality, and
denying, minimizing or ridiculing the survivors spiritual beliefs. This violence is thought to be
the worst of all. A victim of spiritual violence is often referred to be lost or has checked out
or even just simply going thru the emotions. Spiritual violence is especially harder to recover
from.
Physical, emotional, social and spiritual violence was discussed throughout this essay.
Any victim of any type of violence has been proven to have a tremendous effect of the overall
well-being of an individual. Many victims believe take drastic measures to escape their abusers
and even to rid of the memories of the horrible nightmare they had experienced. If anyone you is
being abused, they are encouraged to seek immediate help. Crisis centers, hotline, battered
shelters, and much more is the many ways to cope and recover from the nightmare. Encourage
survivors to tell their story. Social media, domestic violence shelters, churches, mental
institutions is just a few of the many places to spread the story and to raise awareness to domestic
violence. In conclusion, domestic violence is as harmful as any other type of violence and crime.
Spread the word: STOP THE VIOLENCE!

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Works Cited:

Get the Facts and Figures. The National Domestic Violence Hotline. N.D. Web. 12
April

2016.

[http://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/?

gclid=CITf_qmEiswCFcMbgQodfAMDpQ]
Jetter, Alexis. Domestic Violence: A Hidden Cause of Chronic Illness MORE. 1
November 2013. Article. 31 Mar 2016. [http://www.more.com/health/wellness/domestic-

violence-hidden-cause-chronic-illness]
Pearl, Robert. Domestic Violence: The Secret Killer that Costs $8.3 Billion Annually.
FORBES.

Dec

2013.

Web.

18

April

2016.

[http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertpearl/2013/12/05/domestic-violence-the-secret-killer

that-costs-8-3-billion-annually/#42dd182d3c13]
Types of Abuse. Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center. Copyright
2016. Web. 19 April 2016 [http://www.866uswomen.org/types-of-abuse.aspx]

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