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Hannah Sayre
Advanced Composition 101
Professor Mary Martin
9 December 2015
Why Doesnt She Leave?
One of the major social issues regarding relationships in todays society is domestic
violence. Its everywhere- movies, television, news, and social media. It can happen to people of
all different races, classes, and socioeconomic status. It is a widespread issue, and many abusive
situations have similarities between them, no matter the status of the couple. What causes
domestic violence, and why do victims stay?
In February of 2014, Ray Rice and his fiancee, Janay Palmer, were celebrating
Valentines Day in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Sources say they had both been drinking and
arguing throughout the night. In the early morning on the fifteenth, inside an elevator, began a
scandal that would dramatically change their lives. Out of anger, Rice had hit his fiancee, and she
was unconscious. In a panic, Rice dragged his fiancee out of the elevator.
Within days, the story unfolded. The media began to broadcast the events, and soon not
only coaches and officials of the NFL knew the events, but the public as well. Rice apologized to
those around them, and admitted he had made a mistake. Although he had apologized, he was
later suspended from the National Football League. The events in the elevator raised a lot of
concern, but many also had major concerns regarding Palmers decision to stay with and defend
her abuser. Why would any woman defend a man who hurt her, and publicly humiliated her? The
next month, Rice and Palmer followed through with their wedding plans. Mrs. Rice faced a lot of

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judgement from the public, but nevertheless she wholeheartedly defended her new husbands
actions.
So, why did she choose to stay? According to the New York Times, experts believe one
of the primary reasons was because she is financially dependent on her husband. In 2012, Mr.
Rice agreed to play for the Ravens for the following five years, in exchange for thirty five
million dollars. Mrs. Rice is extremely financially secure in the relationship she is in, and that
could play a major part in her decision to stay. She has food, shelter, a nice car, and a beautiful
home. Why would she want to leave? There are many other victims of domestic abuse that are in
the same situation as Mrs. Rice. This is often the reason many victims choose to stay with their
abuser.
Throughout my inquiry, I have looked into domestic violence and the effects it has on the
relationship. Janay Rice is an example of a woman who was faced with domestic violence, and
struggled through her decision to stay. She faced a great amount of judgement from the public,
and was humiliated for the world to see. She made a difficult decision that most people probably
dont fully understand, and by defending her husband, put herself in a situation that would make
anyone uncomfortable. Regardless of whether a victim chooses to stay or leave the relationship,
they could relate to the many challenges Mrs. Rice was faced with.
She Cant Afford to Leave
Abusive relationships are everywhere, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes the abuse
is visible, sometimes it is behind closed doors. Domestic violence affects victims in extreme
ways, that society often doesnt realize. As a whole, society can be very judgemental towards
victims that choose to stay with their abuser, but leaving can be extremely challenging for
someone with an abusive partner. Just because a woman is abused, doesnt mean they dont love

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their abuser. Women often hold on to the hope that the relationship will get better, and this can
make it extremely hard for them to leave, no matter how severely they are hurt. In our society,
women who are abused are often criticized harshly if they are faithful to their partner. However,
often times it is more difficult or dangerous for them to leave than it is for them to stay.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, women are more likely
to be the victim of domestic violence than men are. A study performed by this coalition
concluded that 21-60% of victims of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to reasons
stemming from the abuse. This statistic illustrates how domestic violence can harm not only the
victims body, but even victims ability to provide for herself. If a woman is not employed, they
are often completely dependent on the financial support of the abuser. Abusive partners tend to
keep their finances a secret, meaning the victim may not be aware of how much money her
partner actually has. Even if the abuser is not financially secure, the woman is kept in the dark,
and forced to depend on someone who may not even be able to provide. Sometimes even if a
woman works, her abuser does not let her take any part in handling the finances. This is a tactic
that abusers use to make their victim feel like they are forced to stay, because they are limited in
how much of their own money they have access to. According to Click to Empower, a domestic
violence prevention organization, Approximately 6 out of 10 Americans strongly agree that the
lack of money and a steady income is often a challenge faced by a survivor of domestic violence
when leaving her/his abuser. Women in violent relationships are often given a set amount of
money by their partner, and cannot spend money as they please. If a woman in this situation were
to leave, she would most likely have little to no money. This feeling of being unsure and unsafe
can lead women to stay. Though she would not be safe with her partner, sometimes it seems like
these women have no other options, and cant manage to escape.

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In March of 2014, questions and criticisms from the public swarmed Janay Rice. She had
married her abuser, Ray Rice. He is a professional football player who lives a lavish lifestyle, full
of parties, media attention, and clothes and cars your average American cant afford. Only a
month earlier, Mr. Rice struck his fiancee unconscious, yet she chose to stay. The incident was
extremely publicized, and Americans everywhere questioned her loyalty to this seemingly
violent man. Ray Rice is a multi-millionaire, and according to the New York Times, it is assumed
that Mr. Rice is financially supportive of his wife and daughter. If Mrs. Rice were to leave, she
may no longer be able to fully depend on her husbands finances, and may have to financially
support herself. They have a child together, which only increases the need for financial stability
as a family. Any mother needs a stable income to provide food, shelter, and some basic
necessities for her child.
Though she is a college graduate and would most likely be able to support herself on her
own, she would no longer live the lifestyle she does now if she were to leave her husband, since
he is a multi-millionaire. Ones finances determine the lifestyle they live, and in Janay Rices
case, she lives a very privileged lifestyle. Her husbands finances provides high-end cars and
beautiful homes for their family. According to the Baltimore Sun, the couple previously lived in
a home worth over eight hundred thousand dollars. The article also states that the couple recently
sold the home in order to move into a larger one. It seems as if the couple does not have a
financial care in the world. Leaving her husband would completely change the life she is so
accustomed to living, and may place her under some financial stress.
Most American families do not enjoy the same luxurious lifestyle as the Rice family. So,
how does financial dependency impact victims who live in low income households? Class in
America by Gregory Mansios discusses how socioeconomic class determines many aspects of

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ones life. Mansios writes that ones financial status determines where they live, who their
friends are, how well they are educated, what they do for a living, and what they come to expect
from life. If a victim comes from a household with a low-income career or they live in a poor
neighborhood, they are more likely to be financially dependent on their abuser. If the woman is
not educated, she may not be able to provide for herself, and may be more reliant on her partner.
Women from a low-income household may begin expect nothing better from life than getting
hurt. Financial struggles can create a sense of hopelessness and cause a woman to feel like if they
leave, their challenges will only get worse- especially if their abuser controls the money. Victims
come from all social classes, but victims who come from low income households face not only
financial dependence, but also the challenge of paying bills, having food to eat, and staying
warm throughout cold winter nights. Domestic violence is a problem within all social classes,
however it looks very different within each one.

The Color of Abuse

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one third of women
have experienced domestic violence. Violence is a challenge that all women face, however some
aspects of abuse are different depending on the race of the victim.
According to the Institute on Domestic Violence in African American Communities,
abuse within black relationships is more prevalent among couples with financial struggles.
Forbes states that on average, African American households earn only eight percent of the
national average income earned in white households. This is a major difference in not only
average income, but in average lifestyle and privilege. In America, white people tend to make
more money, and live more privileged lifestyles than Americans of other races. In White
Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh, white privilege is defined as

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an unearned advantage. This advantage favors the white, and greatly contributes to the higher
average income that white people have over other races. Due to this gap in yearly earnings,
abuse can often look different depending on the race of the couple. It can create a greater chance
of black women being financially dependent on their partners, and cause financial challenges for
the couple.
The pressure to provide financially can create a lot of stress for families, and coping with
that stress can be a challenge. This hardship often leads to drug and alcohol abuse to assist in
dealing with the financial challenges. According to the the Substance Abuse and Mental Health
Services Administration, as of 2014, approximately twelve percent of African Americans ages
twelve and older abuse drugs. Approximately twenty one percent of this age category abuses
alcohol. Abuse of drugs and alcohol often leads to poor decision making, and often times
extreme anger. This anger can lead to violence, especially within the home. The rate of drug and
alcohol abuse by African Americans is a major contributing factor in the rate of domestic
violence within this racial group.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, Hispanic and
Latino Americans make up approximately sixteen percent of the population, and that is expected
to dramatically increase in the future. SAMSHA also states that approximately nine percent of
hispanics and latinos abuse drugs, which is below the national average of about ten percent.
However, almost twenty five percent of hispanics and latinos from ages twelve to seventeen
abuse alcohol. This extremely large percentage of children and young adults abusing alcohol can
lead to alcohol addictions and alcohol abuse in their adult life, leading to anger and potentially
violence toward any partner they may have. According to the National Institute on Family
Violence, Latinas are less likely to seek help in overcoming domestic violence, often because

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they live in an English-speaking society and for many, English is not their first language. Many
Latinas are not able to speak or understand English well, and this language barrier becomes a
barrier trapping them in their abusive relationship. How is one supposed to leave a relationship
when the resources you need are not always in your language?
Women of minorities also face the challenge of racism. In a society dominated by white
privilege and a majority white population, it can be more difficult for an African American,
Hispanic, or Asian woman to get a job than a white woman. This also leads women into being
financially dependent on their partners- because if they leave, finding work may be extremely
difficult. For these women, it often seems as if the odds are stacked against them. Most minority
families make less money than the typical white, American family. These women may not even
speak or understand the most common language in the country. Imagine being discriminated
against, looked down upon, and then abused by your partner. Horatio Alger by Harlon Dalton
discusses the myth that anyone can make it in America, and people are only judged by their
strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, racism is a major issue in a America, and people of
minority races are often seen as less than white people. Race gives us an idea of how someone is
going to be, before we even meet or get to know them. For example, Dalton writes about how
white people are often surprised when African Americans and Asian-Americans can speak fluent,
proper English. Many people automatically assume that people of color wont be able to speak
proper English, when in reality, they may have lived in America and spoken English their entire
life. How is a woman of minority race supposed to make it on her own in a society that often
times only seems to notice her color? Abuse may have victims of all races, but minority races in
America have added struggles and odds against them that cause them to be more prone to
abusive relationships, and it can even be harder for them to escape.

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Abuse in America occurs everywhere, on a daily basis. We must learn to keep our eyes
open and help those in need, no matter who they are. Victims of all colors, shapes, and sizes
deserve to be heard, and more importantly helped. For too long we have let the stories and cries
for help from too many victims go unheard. We have turned our back to the struggles faced
everyday by victims of domestic violence. Now is the time to look beyond the color of skin, and
see the person underneath. We are all Americans, and deserve equal treatment. As a country, it is
time to put a stop to domestic violence.

Works Cited

Alternativestodv.org. Alternativestodv.org,. 'Alternatives To Domestic Violence'. N. p.,

2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.
Click To Empower,. 'Facts On Domestic Violence &Amp; Economic Abuse'. N. p., 2015.
Web. 10 Dec. 2015.
Doyle, Sady. "The Poverty of Domestic Violence." - In These Times. N.p., 07 May 2012.
Web. 21 Dec. 2015.

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Jones, Feminista. "Why Black Women Struggle More With Domestic Violence." Time.
Time, 10 Sept. 2014. Web. 21 Dec. 2015.
Kantor, Jodi. 'Janay Palmer, Ray RiceS Wife, Implied The Assault Was Taken Out Of
Context'. Nytimes.com. N. p., 2014. Web. 10 Dec. 2015.
Nnedv.org,. 'National Network To End Domestic Violence | About Financial Abuse'. N. p.,
2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.
"Racial and Ethnic Minority Populations." Ann.lynsen. Substance Abuse and Mental
Health Services Administration, 11 Nov. 2015. Web. 21 Dec. 2015.
Shin, Laura. "The Racial Wealth Gap: Why A Typical White Household Has 16 Times
The Wealth Of A Black One." Forbes. Forbes Magazine, n.d. Web. 21 Dec. 2015.
Smith, Sharon G., Katherine A. Fowler, and Phyllis H. Niolon. 'Intimate Partner Homicide
And Corollary Victims In 16 States: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003
2009'. Am J Public Health 104.3 (2014): 461-466. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.
"Statistics." Statistics. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, n.d. Web. 21 Dec.
2015.
Sun, Baltimore. 'Former Ravens Running Back Ray Rice Selling His Reisterstown
Home'. baltimoresun.com. N. p., 2015. Web. 10 Dec. 2015.
The Facts on Latinos and Domestic Violence. (n.d.): n. pag. The Facts on Latinos and
Domestic Violence. National Institute on Family Violence, June 2010. Web. 21 Dec.
2015.
Zahn, Stephen G. "Landfire." Fact Sheet (2015): n. pag. Fact Sheet. Institute on
Domestic Violence In the African American Community. Web. 21 Dec. 2015.

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