Running Head: GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

Graduate Listening Goals Plan

Rubn De Pea
Fort Hays State University

COMM 607 VA: Listening

Dr. Patricia Griffin

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

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Introduction

The purpose of this paper is to address how I plan to achieve the following listening
goals, as submitted at the beginning of this course:
1. Stay completely focused and engaged when listening to others perspectives that
either I am unfamiliar with or I find irrelevant.
2. Make sure I wait for my turn and dont interrupt when someone is addressing a
topic that could be contrary to my views or even offensive
3. Make sure I watch my body language for negative response when someone is
communicating a matter that I find baseless or absurd
4. Make sure I listen to my teenage son even when I perceive he challenges my
schema of father-child line of authority

Stay completely focused and engaged when listening to others perspectives that either I am
unfamiliar with or I find irrelevant.
In order to accomplish that, I need to make the effort to put myself in the speakers shoes
and ask myself: How would I feel I am talking to someone and he or she glances at his/her
watch, is not looking me in the eye, or even worse, yawns? To remedy the situation, I am
planning to do the following:

Make a conscious effort to listen, which is part of the mental stimulus component
of the listening MATERRS model. According to this component, I need to begin
to actively attend [because] listening involves intentionality on the part of the
receiver (Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012, pp. 10-11).

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

Then, even if the person is telling me about something I am unfamiliar with or the
topic is irrelevant, I can resolve this issue by going to a stage of Awareness, which
is the second step of the MATERRS model. This stage will allow me to conduct a
mental exercise that would lead me to have the necessary motivation to pay full
attention to the speaker (Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012). Therefore, if [I
am] motivated by the subject matter, the situation, or the individual, [I] will find a
way to focus and pay attention (2012, p. 11). In other words, even if the message
is irrelevant, I should be able to listen by focusing at least on the person.

Be aware of my own schemata so that they do not interfere in my listening

process. Worthington & Fitch-Hauser (2012) argue that [o]ne of the early ways
we experience schemata is in our expectations for how the information is
supposed to be presented. [Therefore,] how [I] handle [that] information will
have a profound effect on [...] whether [I] truly pay attention to what the other
person is saying (pp. 48-49).

Make sure I wait for my turn and dont interrupt when someone is addressing a topic that
could be contrary to my views or even offensive
In order to counteract this listening behavior, it is imperative that I pay close attention to
my emotional bin, or that area of internal analysis of information where ones attitudes, values,
and beliefs reside and that shape the way one lives (Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012).
Therefore, here are two specific steps I would take to attain this specific listening goal:

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

I need to reframe my attitude as I receive an information that contrasts to my

view. This is important because [a]attitudes refer to [my] view of whether
something is good or bad (2012, p. 45). When I say reframe, it does not
mean that I have to agree with someone elses view, it is just that I can
conduct a mental exercise that says something like this: Ruben, this
individual is entitled to his or her own opinion. Let him/her finish talk. You
will have your shot to respectfully dissent and present your own view on the
matter.

The second thing I could do to resolve this issue is to reframe my belief

system, or my views of the way things are (2012, p. 45). By doing this, I
can remain open to actually listening to the message. If [I ] find [myself]
doing that, [] [I] can choose to bypass [my] biases and listen to messages
that are contrary to [my] beliefs (2012, p. 45).

Make sure I watch my body language for negative response when someone is
communicating a matter that I find baseless or absurd

This is huge issue. I would like to submit two specific examples that should be conducive
to a solution:

Be intentional about providing generic or back channel responses, which

[]

serve as markers that [I am] cognitively engaged in what the

speaker is saying (Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012, p. 89).

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

Again, I dont have to approve or agree with that the speaker is saying, but I can become
a better listener if I attend to the information by providing genuine back channel responses that
would encourage the speaker to disclose more information.

The second strategy that I would use has to do with my response as I

engaged in fierce conversations, which are defined as
conversations that thrive on openness and debate, not anger and
hostility [] Sometimes we have to agree to disagree, but in these
types of conversations, our goal is to understand the point of view
of others and for them to understand ours (2012, p. 90).

Evidently, the above demonstrates about the possibility of finding common ground for
the sake of maintaining civility whenever I find that a particular conversation is baseless or
absurd due to the contentious nature of what the speaker has to say.

Make sure I listen to my teenage son even when I perceive he challenges my schema of
father-child line of authority
I believe I should be able to remediate this issue by reversing my thought pattern related
to schema I learned from the family dynamics I experienced in my home country. Back then,
whatever one my parents said was the norm, even If I knew they were intrinsically wrong. I
would not dare to challenge lest being severely punished. Therefore, in order to develop a model
that would facilitate an optimal listening environment as I deal with my teenage son, I am
planning to adopt the following steps:

I need to stop seeing our relationship as asymmetrical or unequal. The

rationale for his paradigm shift is that the best listening occurs when we

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

treat the other person as an equal partner in the listening process

(Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012, p. 124). This approach in a
conflictive situation will be conducive to reciprocity in the communication
and will also be good for my son from a mental health perspective and will
enhance his ability deal with issues (2012).

Accept criticism. As I mentioned throughout this course, I was

born outside the United States in a very rigid top-down parentchild relationship. If I or any of my siblings dared to criticize our
parents, that was viewed as the vilest act of disrespect, with its
resulting disciplinary consequences. Unfortunately, it looks like I
am replicating the same parenting pattern with my son. Therefore,
In order to establish a healthy listening environment, conducive to
a harmonious relationship between my son and me, I definitely
have to change my attitude and accept criticism without becoming
defensive, or worse, angry. In fact, Parents who are aware they
are not perfect, especially those with a good sense of humor, are
usually accepting of their teenagers comments and criticisms.
(Worthington & Fitch-Hauser, 2012, p. 124).

I like the notion of incorporating humor, and even being grateful to my

son for pointing out any flaws. This could be an opportunity to remind him
that I am not perfect, but will work my best to correct those flaws.

I need to make time for my son. I can establish a day of the week to have
a one-on-one conversation with him. This is important because some

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experts in family communication dynamics suggest that weekly family

meetings are one way to build in quality listening time. At these meetings,
accomplishments as well as concerns are addressed (Worthington &
Fitch-Hauser, 2012, p. 125).

Lastly, I need to be willing to listen, even the things that are contrary to
my own perspectives or when he discloses something that I can see as
challenging to the family culture. This willingness to listen on my part is
crucial because according to some experts, parents who typically
encourage their teenagers to speak their mind, including expressing
negative feelings, are more likely to keep closer relationship with parents
(2012). Conversely, according to Worthington & Fitch-Hauser (2012) if
these adolescents feel that their parents arent willing to listen, they are
more likely to begin excluding them in favor of friends. In fact, during
their prime teenage years, peers will trump parents in most cases (p. 125).

Conclusion
One of the most surprising findings of this essay is that while I am mostly a peopleoriented person, according to the Listening Styles Profile (1995) test I took this semester, I
experience conflict listening-related issues one of my teenage sons and other people. Therefore,
as I implement the aforementioned listening goals, I should be able to improve my listening
skills that would enable be to have a more fulfilling, successful, professional and social life.

GRADUATE LISTENING GOALS

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References

Watson, K., & Barker, L. (1995). Listening styles profile. San Diego, Calif.: Pfeiffer & Co.
Worthington, D., & Fitch-Hauser, M. (2012). Listening: Processes, functions, and competency.
Boston: Allyn & Bacon.