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DOCUMENT

SCORE

Shamefest

89 of 100
ISSUES FOUND IN THIS TEXT

13
Contextual Spelling

Grammar

Wrong or Missing Prepositions

Punctuation

Sentence Structure

Misplaced Words or Phrases

Style

Wordy Sentences

Inappropriate Colloquialisms

Passive Voice Misuse

Vocabulary enhancement

No errors

No errors

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Shamefest
Her room door creaked as it was pulled open, and, while
everyone else was used to the imperfections of the world,
Rachel Posner cringed. Everyone saw her, the shaking girl who
never smiled but rather remained in a deep compulsive
thought. Peeking behind the timid 1 body, it was obvious 2: the
1

Better word pair

Overused word:

Possibly confused pre

[ Split infinitive ]

Better word pair

[ Misuse of "yet"

perfectly tidy room had no flaw; it was almost too perfect, and
in fact, it was. Her work and studies were piled high into
orderly stacks organized by subject, starting at the top with 3
the smaller assignments and working the way lower to the
heavy, bulky textbooks weighing down on Rachel's workspace.
With the white, gray, and blue bed perfectly made and the
whiteboard squeaky-clean aside from the mile-long lists,
everyone knew her shame. For Rachel, so many things had to
be done that it was impossible for enjoyment to ever return 4 to
her intimidating visage. Stepping through the tall 5 white
ingress, the small girl put on a good show; wearing an ironed
blue blouse and gray skirt (to match her room of course) and
holding her head up high, she almost looked sane.
Yet, with 6 the objects which her hands clasped onto firmly
and pulled up to press right against her chest, Rachel was
everything but sane. Clutched so tight that her knuckles turned
ghastly white was an organizer no doubt including hundreds of
dates, mandatory to-do's, various thoughts, books, movies,
songs, colleges, dog names, workouts, interesting information,

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and unending others. Still, never are these lists messy or

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random, but rather organized to perfectly 8 correspond 7 with


Rachel's train of thought through the accompanying use of
7

Split infinitive

Overused word:

Passive voice

every color, brand, and size of pencils, pens, and highlighters,


all contained in a modern-looking pencil bag which was being
grasped 9 in her other dexterous hand. No one else was able to
understand Rachel's perfection-longing brain. However, the
use of a ruler protruding from the planner was an understood 10
certainty.
With everything the girl did, her hands were put to work 11 to
display what her brain was thinking, whether by means of

10

Repetitive word:

11

Squinting modifier

12

[ Possible wordiness

13

Wordiness

12

writing or typing or motioning. Therefore, using the ruler to


ensure impeccably straight lines, a P rested on two places on
Rachel's body: starting at the top of her head, where the girl's
compulsively ordered thoughts and brain was spinning, a pure
white headband clearly displayed the crisp black letter cut to
perfection, and wrapping around her nimble finger, where
Rachel would always be reminded of her shame while
working, was a spotless silver metal engraved with the same
clean-cut P. These two flawless letters further showed the
perfectionism within Rachel; as she is indecisive because every
choice must be the perfect one, Rachel didn't know whether to
place the shameful letter on her head or hand, eventually
resorting to both.13 With her flat brown hair slickly pulled into
a tight ponytail, Rachel looked around frantically, pale as if the
untidiness of the outside world was physically sickening her.

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