The Pearl #17 - (Nov, 1880)

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ThePearl#17.(November1880)
ThePearl#17
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THEPEARL,
AJournalofFacetiandVoluptuousReading.
No.17PUBLISHEDMONTHLY.
Nov,1880
MYGRANDMOTHER'STALEORMAY'SACCOUNTOFHER
INTRODUCTIONTOTHEARTOFLOVE.
FromanunsophisticatedManuscriptfoundamongsttheoldlady'spapers,after
her
death,supposedtohavebeenwrittenaboutA.D.1797.
"Mydearfather,"saidtheyoungman,"wehavethebackpartofthecoachto
ourselvesandtheguardissittingwiththecoachman,sowearequiteprivate
here.
Woulditnotbeagoodopportunityforlettingthisyoungladylookatyour
reverend
prick?"
"Mostcertainly,myson,"repliedtheclergyman,unbuttoninghistrousers."I
am
alwaysreadytopleasetheladies."
Sohepulledouthisnobletool,fondlystrokingit."There,Miss,thereis
somethingforamantobeproudof,andIamproudtohavesuchafather."
"Ihopeyoumayhavejustsuchanothersomeday,"Isaid.
"Thankyou,mydear,"saidhe,"IwillshowyouwhatIhaveatpresent."
Andheexhibitedhisownprick.Itoldhimitwasasbigashehadanyreason
to
expect,andhequiteagreedwithmeandthenregrettedthefactthatourbeing
outside
thecoachwouldpreventhisfatherandhimselffromlookingatanythingI
wouldlike
toshowthem."But,"continuedhe,"thecoachwillstoptochangehorsesina
few
minutes'time,andthenthepassengersgenerallygetdownandgoinsidethe
innfor
halfanhourforrefreshments.Butmyfather,therector,iswellknowntothe
landlordandwewillaskforaprivateroomandtakeourrefreshmentsthere
and
then,MissSusan,youwillhavethewishedforopportunity."
BythetimehehadfinishedspeakingwearrivedattheRoyalGeorge,andthe
parsonandhissonhelpedmedownfromthecoach,andIsoonfoundmyself
inan
upstairsparlourwiththem.Theytoldmetheirjourneyterminatedthere,as
theyhad
todriveinagigtotheirhome,fivemilesdistant,andtheybothbeggedmeto
loseno
time.
http://www.horntip.com/html/books_&_MSS/1870s/18791880_the_pearl_journal/issue_17__nov_1880/index.htm
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Ireplied:"Iaminyourhands,gentlemen!Onlydon'tharmme."
Theypromisedtheywouldnot,andthefatherthenraisedmyclothes,called
his
son'sattentiontomywhitethighsandthepoutinglipsofmycunt.
Bothfatherandsonkissedandsuckeditforafewminutesandthenthefather
insistedonhissonhavingafuckbeforehehadone.
Bythetimeeachhadfinished,thehornblewthewarningtogetready.So
hastilyswallowingaglassofwine,Iarrangedmyclothesandbadethemgood
bye.
TheyaccompaniedmetothecoachandthistimeIwasabletogetinside,
there
beingoneplacevacant,andtheparsonkindlypayingthedifferenceinfare.
WithmutualfarewellsthecoachstartedagainandIlookedatmyfellow
passengersandfoundonewhoappearedyoung,theothertwobeinggrey
haired
gentlemen.
Theyallaccostedmeverypolitelyandhopedweshouldhaveapleasant
journey
together.
TheyoungmanenquiredhowfarIwasgoingandwhenIrepliedtoEdinburgh,
heexpressedhispleasurethatweshouldbegoingtothesamecity.
"Whatafortunatecircumstance,"saidhe,"thatyouwerenottravellingbythis
coachlastweek."
"Howso?"
"BecausethenotoriousDickTurpinandhisgangstoppedthecoachjustalittle
wayfromhereandrobbedthepassengers,andusedtheladiesverycruelly."
"Oh!howyoufrightenme!Dotellmeallaboutit,"saidI.Theelderly
gentlemanoppositenowspokeandsaid:
"Icangiveyouthecorrectaccount,forIwasoneofthepassengersandoneof
thevictimsImaysay."
"Oh,dotellmeifthereisanydangerofDickTurpincomingagaintoday?"I
asked.
"Nottheslightest,"saidtheoldgentleman,"andthatisthereasonwhyIam
travellingagainsosoon.Besides,Iamarmedwithmyhorsepistols."
"Oh,"saidI,"don'tshowthemtome,Iamsoterriblyfrightened!Buttellme
aboutthevillains."
Theoldgentlemancontinued:"Itwasjustaboutthreeintheafternoonwhen,
as
wewerebowlingalong,aswearenow,Iheardseveralhorsemenrideupon
each
sideofthecoachandcalltothecoachmantostoporheshouldbeshot.And
two
shotswerefiredathim,andonewoundedhim,theotherbrokethelamp.
"Ofcoursethecoachwasstoppedandtherobbersthencalled:'Standoutand
deliveryourmoneyandvaluables,oryouarealldeadmen.'
"Theremusthavebeentenortwelvemensomeonfoot,andsomeon
horseback.
"Ishouldmentionthattheinsideofthecoachwasoccupiedbysomegirls
going
toYorktoschool.Therewerefourbesidestheirmistressandoutsidethere
werefour
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moregirlsthatmakesnineladies,andthereweresixmenpassengers
besidesthe
coachmanandguard.
"Ishouldsaythattwoofthemissesweremygrandchildren,agedabout
thirteen
andfourteen.
"Well,thevillainsfirstlookedinsidethecoachandmadethemadamegiveup
hergoldwatchandrings,thentheymadeusmencomedownandstandinthe
road
whiletheysearchedourpockets,onemanstandingwiththemuzzleofapistol
pressedclosetomyforeheadwhilehesearchedmypockets.
"Whenthiswasdone,theyabusedusforgivingthemsomuchtroubleforso
littlemoneyanddeclaredtheywouldberevengedonthewomenforit.
"Ibeggedthemtosparemypoorgrandchildren.
"'Pointthemout,'saidoneofthevillains.
"Ididso,thinkingthathewasgoingtolistentomyrequests,butnotomy
surprisehetiedtheirhandsbehindthemandthenlifteduptheirclothesand
threw
themovertheirheads,exposingtheirbodiesfromthewaistdownwards!
"Irushedforwardtoreplacetheirclothingwhentwoofthevillainscaughthold
ofmeandtiedmyhandsbehindmyback,andthentomyindignation,they
actually
cutopenmybreechesinfrontandpulledoutmyprick."
"Horrible!"Iexclaimed.
"Monstrous,"saidtheyoungman.
"Yes,"continuedtheoldman,"andthatisnotall.Thereissomethingmore
horribletotell."
"Oh,dotell,"saidI.
"Pray,"saidtheyoungman,"continue."
"Well,thevillainsmademekneeldownandkisstheslitsofmytwo
granddaughtersandmademesuckthemandpushinmytongue!Thenthey
uncoveredthepoorgirls'faces,andtyingtheirclothestightundertheirarms,
ordered
themtosuckmycock!InvaintheyandIprotested.Aloadedpistolfiredoff
close
toourearswasthewarningofwhatourfateshouldbeifwedisobeyed.Sofirst
one
andthentheotherdeargirlwentthroughthetask.Andthevillainsmademe
saythe
suckingwaspleasant!"
"Andwhatdidyousay?"
"OfcourseItoldthetruth,thatthesuckinggavemepleasure."
"Andwhatbecameoftheothermenwhowerepassengers?"
"Oh,theyweremadetosucktheslitsoftheschoolgirlsandtosubmittohave
theirprickssuckedinturn."
"Andhowdidtheschoolmadamefare?"
"Oh,thevillainsgrosslyinsultedherbyexamininghercunt,andtellinghershe
wastoooldtoallowthemtogiveheranypleasureofthatkind,sotheycuta
bunch
oftwigsfromthebushesandforcedheronallfours,baredherbacksideand
gaveher
agoodflogging."
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"Doyoumeantostatethatalltheseoutragestookplaceonthehighturnpike
road?"
"Well,yes,thatistosay,closetoit,fortherewasapieceofturforgrassland
ratherwideatthesideoftheroadatthisplace.Infact,therewereafewtrees
and
bushesgrowingthere."
"Didnopersonpassintravellingalongtheroad,whilethistookplace,forit
musthavetakensometime?"
"Yes,ittookanhourormore,butafarmerwithhiswiferidingbehindona
pillion,andonewagonloadedwithhayaccompaniedbythewagoner,wereall
that
passedbyduringthetime.Partofthehaywasunloadedtoserveforbedson
which
toextendtheunfortunateladypassengersandthefarmerwascompelledto
fuckhis
wifeinpublic."
"DidDickTurpintakepartintheseoutrages?"
"No,hetoldhismentofuckanywaytheytookafancyto,buthekeptwatch
mostofthetimeandgavethenecessarydirectionstohismensothatseveral
ofthem
keptwatchinturn,whiletheotherscommittedtheseoutragesontheir
victims."
"Doyoumeantosaythatthetenschoolgirlswereallrapedandtheir
maidenheadstaken?"
"Certainlyiftheyhadanytolose!Theywereallfuckedbeforemyeyes."
"Howdiditallend?"
"Oh,afterawhileCaptainDicksaid:'That'senoughforthistime,boys.Mount
andaway!'Andsotheyrodeoffleavingallthevictimstiedandbounduntil
some
passerbyshouldcomeandrelievethem.Ofcoursewecalledforhelpdirectly
after
ourtormentorshadleftusandinhalfanhoursomefootpassengersandalso
the
returningmailcoachcamebyandreleasedourbondsandweallmadethe
bestofour
waystoourdestinations."
Theyoungmannowspoke."Itisallquitetrue,Miss,IassureyouIwasone
of
thepassengersbythedownmailonthatoccasionandIsawtheconditionof
theten
schoolgirlsasdescribedbyourfriendhere.Theywerealltiedtotreeswith
their
armsbehindthem,andtheirclothingraisedandtiedclosetotheirshouldersso
asto
exposetheirbelliesandallbelow.
"Icouldnothelpbeingdelightedwiththesight,althoughofcourseIpitiedthe
poorthings,andIdelayedhelpingtoreleasetheminordertohaveagood
viewof
theirnakedcharms.Iwasmuchamusedattheremarksofaworthytradesman
and
hiswifewhowerealsolookingatthoseschoolgirls.Thewifespokesharply:
'Well,
Mr.Jones,Iamashamedofyoutostandstaringlikeastuckpigatthose
naked
shamelessyounghussies.Whydon'ttheyputtheirdressesdown?'
"'Well,mydear,'saidherhusband,'theyhavetheirhandstiedbehindtheir
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backs
andcan'thelpthemselves,andastomylookingatthem,myexcuseisInever
saw
suchasightbefore!Why,therearetennakedbelliesformetolookatandfour
have
hardlyanyhairontheirslitsandtheothersallhaveblackhaironthem,but
one,and
she...'
"Herehiswifeangrilyinterposed:'Youhavemadegooduseofyoureyesfor
thesefewminutes,Mr.JonesImustsayIamastonishedatyou,amarried
manand
thefatherofsixgirlsandfourboys,sotodemeanyourself!Whydon'tyoushut
your
eyesuntilthisdisgracefulexhibitionisover?'
"'No,Mrs.Jones,Iamnotgoingtoclosemyeyes!Imaybecalledasawitness
againstthevillainsifevertheyarecaught,andifIshutmyeyeshowamIto
describe
tothejurythecruelstateinwhichthegirlsareleft?'
"'Well,'saidhiswife,'hadyounotbettertryandcatchthosevillains?'
"'No,mydear,mydutydoesnotlieinthatdirection.'
"'Noryourinclinationeither,'retortedhiswife,'forevidentlyyoupreferthe
safer
courseoffeastingyoureyesonthesepoorgirls'nakedness.'
"'Well,mydear,youknowIamalwaysdelightedtolookatyoursbutyouso
seldomallowmetodoso.'
'"Ishouldthinknot,indeed,'saidMrs.Jones,'andthatremindsmethatlast
SundayIsawyoutaketwoofourdaughtersonyourkneeandIthinkyouhad
your
handsundertheirclothes!'
"'Nonsense!Mrs.Jones,onlyalittleplayandromping,formygirlsarevery
fondoftheiroldfatherbesidesitisafather'sdutytoseeifhisgirls'
underclothesare
cleanandinthefashion.'
"'Now,Mr.Jones,dobequiet.Whatrighthasamantobetroublinghimself
abouthisgirls'clothing?'
"'WhywhatIbuyandpayforwithmyownmoneyIhavetherighttoexamine,
andyouknowIshouldneverhavemarriedyouifIhadnotexaminedyoufirst!'
"'Forshame,Mr.Jones,tospeakaboutthathereintheopenairwhereanyone
mightoverhearyou!'
"'NowMaryAnn,dear,willyouuntiethesepoorgirls'clothesfromtheirnecks
andhelpmeundotheirhands?'
"SoIthenofferedmyassistancetoseveralofthegirlsandhelpedtoputtheir
clothingdownovertheirbellies,takingcaretotouchmuchoftheirnaked
bodiesin
doingso,andgettingmyhandoneachoftheirbelliesintheperformanceof
this
duty.
"Ioughttomentionthattheplacewheretheseoutragestookplacewasakind
of
valleybetweentwohills,andwhereahousewasnotinsightformanymiles.It
was
upalanethroughthisvalleythatthehighwaymencameonhorsebacktodo
their
unlawfulwork,andwhentheyhadcompletedittheywentawaydownthe
valley
again."
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Atthismomentastheyoungmanfinishedhisaccountthecoachgavealurch
forward,probablyfromthecoachmansuddenlywhippingupthehorses
however,I
foundmyselfflungagainsttheelderlymansittingoppositemeandhecaught
me
firmlyinhisarmsandkissedme,saying:"Godblessme,Miss,don'tbe
frightened,
cometomyarms,I'lltakecareofyou."
IrepliedIcouldnothelpitandthenfeltahandpassingupmythighsfrom
behind,andanotherhandpattingmybottom.
Icriedout:"Oh,thisconductismostshamefulgentlemen,doleaveapoorgirl
alone!"
"Why,what'sthematter,mydear?"saidtheyoungman.
"Nobodyistouchingyou,"growledtheoldgentleman.
"Well,mydear,Iamkissingyou,"saidtheoneonwhomIhadbeenthrown.
"Iknowthat,"Ireplied,"butmorethanthathasbeendonetome."
"Well,"saidhe,"IamamagistrateandmynameisSquireJohnson,andifyou
willsitbymysideandmakeyourcomplaintyoushallhavejusticedoneto
you."
Theotherelderlylookinggentlemansaid:"Well,SquireJohnsonyouhave
knownmeforyearsastheparsonoftheparishandmynameistheRev.Mr.
Scarlett
andIexpectyoutotakemyoathagainstanyotherperson's."
Theyounggentlemannowspoke:"Oh,Iamamedicalstudentgoinghome
from
college.MynameisCharleyStuartandIamsuretofallinlovewithevery
pretty
girlIsee,especiallysuchanangelasthis!"givingmeamostlovinglook.
"Now,then,"saidSquireJohnson,"ifyou,Miss,willgiveusyournamewewill
proceed."
Ireplied:"MynameisSusanGardinerandIchargeParsonScarlettand
Charley
Stuartwithtouchingmynakedbody."
SquireJohnsonwrotethisdowninhispocketbookandthensaid:"MissSusan,
yousayyouchargethesegentlemenwithanindecentassault!Pleasestatethe
particulars."
Ididso,sayingtheParsonputhishandonmybottom,"whenthecoachby
that
suddenjerkthrewmeintoyourarmsandyoukissedme.Theothergentleman,
calledCharleyStuart,putoneofhishandsbetweenmythighs,veryhighup,
atthe
sametime."
squirejohnson."NowParson,whatisyourreplytothosecharges?"
parson."Oh,Isawtheyounglady'spetticoatsdisarrangedandItriedto
replacethem."
squireJ."Andyou,CharleyStuart?"
CHARLEY."Oh,Ipleadguiltyandpromisenottodoitagainuntilthenext
time."
squireJ."Gentlemen,fromyourrepliesIamquitesatisfiedthatyouareboth
guiltyoftheoffencechargedagainstyouandmysentenceisthatyoueach
payMiss
Susanimmediatelythesumofhalfacrown,thatyoueachbegherpardonand
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that
youeachoffertoshowheryourpricks.Come,Parson,youfirst,outofrespect
of
yourcloth,asyouareinholyorders."
parson."NeverdidIhearamoreimpartialandrighteoussentence."
Sohepaidmethehalfcrownatonceandpulledouthistoolitwasshortand
thickwithanenormousredhead.
Charleysaid:"SeeMissSusan,Iofferyouthishalfcrownforthesweetkisses
yougaveme.Here,balancedontheheadofmyprickanditischeapenough."
AndSquireJ."Now,MissSusan,Iofferyouthishalfcrown,andasitisnow
fouro'clock,beforethecoachwillstop,Iproposethatyoushouldgiveussome
entertainmentandanswerallourquestionstruthfully."
parson."Alsoobeyusinallourwishes."
charley."AndMissSusan,ifyoudo,youshallbepaidaguineafromme."
squire."Andanotherfromme."
parson."AndIwillgiveanother,thatwillmakethreegoldenguineas!Think,
whatalotofmoney!"
DearMay,donotblamemeforaccedingtotheirwishes.IknewIwas
completelyintheirpower,andthenthepresentsoftheguineas!Itseemed
riches
indeedtome,whohadneverpossessedmorethanafewshillingsatonetime
inmy
life.
SoIdriedmytearsandtakingupthethreehalfcrowns,said:"Donotharm
me,
goodgentlemen!Iwillagreetoyourproposalsandtrusttoyourhonour,asI
am
onlyagirlentirelyatyourmercy,butIshouldvastlylikethreeguineas."
"Averysensiblegoodgirl,"saidtheParson.
"Youareanangel,"saidCharley.
parson."IwillaskMissSusanifshehasanyhaironherlittleslit?"
"Yes,"Ireplied.
squire."Whatcolour?"
"Lightred."
"Didyoueverallowamantolookatyourcunt?"saidCharley.
"Yes."
parson."Andsuckit,I'llbebound?"
charley."Andkissit?"
"Yes."
squire."ThenMissSusanshallbelaidacrossthelapsoftwoofus,andthe
othershallkissandsuckherprettycunny."
"Agreed!"theyallcried.
Andthiswasdoneinsuccession,untilallthreehadhadtheirturn.Todothis
mypetticoatsandsmockwereraisedsoastoexposetoviewmythighsand
belly.
Theneachgentlemankneltonthefloorofthecoachandkissedandsuckedmy
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cunny.
TheParsonasked:"Howmuchtime,Squire,dowehavebeforethecoach
stops?"
"Threehours."
TheParsonthensaid:"ThatwillbeampletimeforMissSusantostripherself
naked,andtoletusenjoylookingathercharmsinthenudestate."
"Yes,"saidtheSquire,"plentyoftime."
IrepliedthatIshouldtakecold.
"No,I'lltakecareofthat,"saidCharley."Iwillkeepyouwarm.Iwillgiveyou
brandyfromthisbottle."
"ButIshallbeseenbypassersby,"againIobjected.
ButtheParsonandSquireagreedtokeepthecurtainofthecoachwindows
drawndown,sufficienttopreventallchanceofanyoneseeingme.
"Now,"saidCharley,"Iwillbeyourlady'smaidanddisrobeyou."
Hethentookoffmybonnetandshawl,thenmyfrockstaysandpetticoats.I
beggedhardtobeallowedtoretainmysmock,butallinvainastheParson
saidit
wouldinterferewiththefullviewofmynakedbodybesides,hesaid:"Evewas
nakedintheGardenofEden,sothere'sScriptureforyou,MissSusan."
Iwaspraisedforthewhitenessandfirmnessofmyskin,andmyshapewas
muchadmired.
Twoofthemsatononeseatofthecoachandoneontheother,withtheir
knees
asclosetooneanotheraspossible,andonthisbroadlapIwaslaidandrolled
over
andover,theirhandsrovingovermyback,shouldersandbosom,bellyand
bottom,
insuccession,onepointingouttotheothersomeattractionthathespecially
admired.
Mymouthandbothhandswerenextoccupiedwiththreepricksatonce,andI
wasobligedtochangefromonetotheother,untileachhadhispricksucked.
NextIwasseatedbetweentwoofthemontheedgeoftheseat.Thenthey
raised
mylegshigherthanmyhead,andtoldmetojutmybellywellforward.This
hadthe
effectofexposingmybottomholeaswellasmycunny.Thenonegentleman
would
fuckmeinthispositionandthentheotherswouldchangeplaces,untilallthree
had
fuckedme.ButIwillsay,theyallwithdrewtheirpricksbeforespendingand
spoutedtheirspermovermybelly,asitwassolemnlypromisedbythemall
that
thereshouldbenoriskofgettingmewithachild.
Bythetimetheymanagedtogetacoupleoffuckseach,thetimecameforme
to
resumemyclothing,whichIwasthankfultodo.AndIwasonlydecently
dressed
whentheguard'shornwarnedusthecoachwasabouttostop.
Iwasgladtolearnwehadtostoponehourfordinner,butwasamusedat
CharleytellingthechambermaidIwashiswife,andsoaccompanyingmeupto
the
bedroomwhereheactuallyproducedthepotfromunderthebedandmademe
sit
downanddomypee,whilehe,lyingatfulllengthonthefloorwithhishead
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closeto
mybelly,watchedthewaterfall,ashecalledit.
Thenhewentdownthestairswithmetothedinnertable,wherewealldid
justicetotherepastandhadsomegoodwine.
Mycompanionswereallveryattentivetomywantsandpaidmyscore
between
them.
Wethenresumedourplacesinthecoachasbefore,thecoachmantellingus
we
shouldhaveanotherfourhourswithoutstoppingatall.
InoticedtheParsonandSquiresoonfelttheeffortsoftheirwineandgood
feeding,fortheyweresoonsoundasleepandsnoring.
Charleysaidhewasgladofthatasnowhecouldhavemealltohimself.Sowe
firsthadamutualprickandcuntsuckingmatch,eachtryingtoholdbackthe
juice
ofloveaslongaspossible.
Next,sittinginCharley'slapwithhistoolensconcedinmycunny,Igentlyrode
upanddown,tillhewascompelledtowithdrawandspendallovermybelly.
Wetiredourselvesoutwithourvariedlovingencountersandatlastweboth
fell
asleepandwereonlyarousedbytheguard'shornannouncingourarrivalat
our
destinationinEdinburgh.
Myunclewaswaitingformeattheinnandafterthankingmytravelling
companionsfortheirpoliteattentions,Itookmyuncle'sarmandwalkedwith
himto
hishome.
Myunclekepttalkingallthewayandenquiredthenameofmylate
companions.
IansweredtruthfullyandhewaspleasedtothinkIhadbeeninsuchgood
respectablesociety:"For,"saidhe,"nowadaystherearesomanyvillains
aboutthat
ayounggirlmightberuinedbeforesheknewherdanger."
Imentallyresolvedtoactthepartofaninnocentgirlindearuncle'spresence
andalsoIdeterminedtoputinpracticetheinstructionsofCharleyStuart,who,
being
amedicalstudent,toldmemanythingsaboutawoman'sprivatepartsthatI
didnot
knowbefore.Onethinghetoldmewastogetalumpofalumandpushitupin
my
cunnyandkeepitthenallnight.Itwouldactasanastringentandmakeitas
tightas
avirgin'scunny.Andhealsoadvisedmetouseasolutionofaluminwater
witha
femalesyringeasoftenduringthedayaswasconvenient.
DearMay,Iadviseyoutodothesame.Whenyousendamessengertobuy
the
alumyoucansayitisforasorethroatortouseindyeingasitisusedfor
both
thosepurposes.Only,dearMay,letmegiveyouacautiondon'tletthepiece
of
alumbeverylarge,forIwilltellyouwhatafrightIhad.
OnenightIputalumpaslargeasahen'seggupmycunnyandinthe
morningI
couldnotgetitout!Ithadcausedsuchacontractionoftheinsidefoldsofmy
cunny
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thatIcouldbarelyinsertthetipofmyfingersoyoumayimaginemdilemma.
At
lastIthought:"Whyofcourse,hotwaterwilldissolveit."SoIsatoverthe
bidetfor
nearlyanhouranbathedmypoorcunnywithwarmwateranditgradually
dissolved
someofthealum,andIwasnonetheworseformyfright.
Well,toresume,UncleandIcameatlasttohishousewhichwasabookseller's
shopwithroomsforresidenceovertheshopandamilliner'sshopononeside,
anda
dressmaker'sshopontheother,whileoppositewasaninncalled"TheRoyal
Standard,"andnextdoortothatwasaboardschoolforyoungladies.
ImentionthesedetailsbecauseUnclecalledmyattentiontothem,sayingthey
wereallhisbestcustomers.
OnarrivingatUncle'shousehetookmeupstairsandintroducedmetothe
housekeeper,whowasgoingtoleavetogetmarriedthefollowingweek,andI
wasto
takeherplaceinUncle'shousehold.
Shetookmetoacomfortablebedroom,andkissingme,praisedmygoodlooks
andenquiredifIwouldlikeabathaftermylongjourney.
IreplieditwastheonethingIwaslongingfor.Sosheopenedadoorleading
frommybedroomandshowedmethebath,sayingshewouldbebackinhalf
an
hourtohelpmedressandgetreadyfordinner.
Oh,May,howIenjoyedthatcoldbath!Isplashedanddashedthewaterall
over
mynakedbodyandtooktheopportunityofremovingthealumCharleyhad
consideratelyslippedintomycunnyinthecoach,for,saidhe,whoknowshow
soon
youmayhavetopassforavirgin?
Ihadjustfinishedmywashingandsteppedoutofthebathandwasseatedon
a
stooldryingmyselfwhenthedooropenedandincamethehousekeeper,
Jemima,
andrushinguptome,exclaimed:"Oh,MissSusan,pleasestandbeforethis
pier
glassforamoment!"
Ididsoandfounditwasastallasmyselfandreflectedmyfigureaslargeas
life.
Jemimanowbegantorubmewithatowel,allthetimepraisingmyskin,my
back,mybelly,andmythighs,insuchaloudvoicethatIbegantofancyshe
intendedsomeoneinthenextroomtohear.However,Ikeptmythoughtsto
myself
andonlysaid:"Makehaste,Jemima,andhelpmedressforIwantmysupper
so
badly."
Atlastshewasobligedtoleaveoffherrubbingsandshebroughtmeaclean
smockandpetticoatwhichshehelpedtoputon.ThenIsatonalowstooland
drew
oncleanwhitestockingsbutJemimawouldhelpputonanewpairofgarters,
which
fastenedwithasilverclasp.IwassopleasedwiththemthatIjumpedupand
stood
beforethemirrortoadmiremygarters,andofcoursehadtoraisemysmock
rather
hightodoso.
"Thosegartersareapresentfromyouruncle,"saidJemima,"youwillnot
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forget
tothankhimpresently."
"OfcourseIshallthankhim,"Isaid.
Jemimanowputonmeaverylowneckedbluefrock.
"Andthisalsoisyouruncle'spresent,"saidshe.
"Ohwhatadear,kinduncleheis!HowmuchIlovehimalready,"Ireplied.
"Well,"saidJemima,"nowgodowntosupperandtellhimso."
OnenteringtheroomdownstairsIfoundsupperonthetableandUncleinhis
dressinggownandslipperssittingbyabrightfire.
(Tobecontinued.)
DRAWINGROOMPASSETEMPS.
GentHaveyoutriedthenewmedicatedpaperforthewatercloset?
LadyItissodreadfullyexpensive.
GentNo,reallyIknowaplacewhereyoucanbuysixpacketsfortenand
sixpence.
LadyItissodeliciouslysoft,IcannotthinkhowIcouldhaveputupwithold
newspapers.
GentMayIsendyouhalfadozen?
LadyThanksverymuch.
GentWhataverydisagreeablesmell,Ithinkourvisavismusthavefarted.
LadyNo,it'sthatconceitedthingonyourleft.Isawhercoughbehindher
handandpullherdressout.
GentYoumustforgivemebut,doyouknow,Ithoughtatfirstitwasyou.
LadyOh,younaughtysatiricalman.
GentWhatatroublesomecomplaintispiles!
LadyYes,poormamaandmysistershavethemshockingly.
GentAndyou,comenow,confess.
LadyNo,indeed,andindeed.
GentNotalittlebit?
LadyNo,notabit.
GentDoyoufindthatyourbowelsactwithregularity?
LadyQuiteso,thankyouforyourkindenquiries,Igopunctuallyeveryten
daysorso.
GentNowthatisverynaughtyofyou,yououghttogoeverymorning.
LadyButtheseatissodreadfullycoldtositdownoninthisnastyweather.
GentMightIwarmitforyou?
LadyWhatwouldmamasay?
(Hereyousee,theconversationisglidingintoaflirtationandshouldbe
divertedunlessyouhavehonourableintentions.Ifyouhave,itmaycontinue
as
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follows:)
GentYourmamawouldsayweweretwocozydickybirdstoboltourselves
intothewatercloset.
LadyButyouwouldgoawayafteryouhadwarmedtheseat,wouldyounot,
becauseImightmakealittlenoise?
GentIfitplayedaprettytuneIwouldloveit.
LadyAndwouldyourumplethepaperforme?
GentAlldaylong.
LadyForlittlemeonlyandfornooneelse?
GentFornoonebutyouwouldIrumpleaparticleofpaper.Isitnot
extraordinarythattherearenopublicurinalsforladies?
LadyYoumenwouldbealwaysstandingaboutthedoors,
GentButyououghttohavethembuiltlikeours,youknow,withthetrough
projectingalittlefurther.
LadyButterboatfashion,howverynice.
THEBANKRUPTBAWD.
Tune"VicarofBray."
NearJermynStreetabawddidtrade
Incredit,styleandsplendour,
Wellknowntoeveryhighbredblade,
Andthoseofdoubtfulgender.
Hownatureonce,inmarringmood,
Herbodyformed,I'lltellye,
Uponherbackaswellingstood,
Tomockherbarrenbelly.
CHORUS:
Forsomesucceedandothersfail
Thatintocommerceenter.
Sofewarechasteandmanyfrail
Inthisgreattradingcenter.
Inconeyskinshercommercelay,
Acharmingstockshe'dlaidin
Shene'ertosmugglersfellaprey,
Herpracticewasfairtrading.
Theseskinswhendressedwereredandwhite,
Thefurofeachfaircreature,
Ofdifferenthues,asdayandnight,
Keptwarmman'snakednature.
Chorus:Forsomesucceed,etc.
Thetradingstockofthisoldbawd
Avitalstabsustain'd,sir,
12/27
12/29/2015
Thenewslikewildfireflewabroad,
Eachcustomercomplairid,sir.
Someconeyskinslaywithalot
Bycautionuninspected
Soquarantine,alas,forgot,
Foulplaguethewholeinfected.
Nowoldandyounghershopforsook,
Insolventwasherplight,sir,
WhenHabeasCorpuscatchpoletook
Herbodyoffbynight,sir,
FromBancoregiscivillaw,
Toliquidateherdebt,sir,
Betweenthesheetsthisoldbawdsaw
OfLondon'sfam'dGazette,sir.
Togiveeachcreditorhisdue,
Threemen,theLord'sanointed,
JackWilkes,LordSandwichandOldQ
Wereassigneesappointed
Butlucklessbawd!theafterday
Herstockonfiretheyfound,sir
So'twasagreedshecouldnotpay
Acondominthepound,sir.
Theskin(herown)thisbawdhadleft,
Eachassigneedidhandle
'Twasfoundofallitsfurbereft,
Bysingeingflameofcandle
Samebutter'dbunsconcealedwithin,
OldQ'skeeneyebeset,sir
SoWilkesdefin'dthisconeyskin
Afundforfloatingdebt,sir.
Byheadlonglustherclaimantsled,
Theyseizedhermortaltreasure
Thefuriousconeyskinwasspread,
Adividendpastmeasure.
Nowallcamein,notonestoodout
Thebawdwassetatlarge,sir
Herconeyskin(ofworth,nodoubt),
Dideverymandischarge,sir.
13/27
12/29/2015
FACETIAE.
Cease,foolishpainters,Herculestodraw
Withwoodenclub,inspiringmanwithawe
Adifferentclubthathereshouldadorn,
Thisgod'smostpowerfulweaponisthehorn
Nomightierspearthanthatthechampionhurls,
Withwhichonenighthefuckedthreescoreofgirls!
Acrowdofgraveenquirersmaderesort,
Towherethelearneddoctorsheldtheircourt
Andaskedthemwhohadbeenthatserpentbrute,
WhichtemptedmotherEvetoeatthefruit?
"Yesillymen,"thesagesdidreply,
"Whydoyouwasteyourtimeandours,oh,why?
Eve'stemptingsnakewasbutalongandthick,
Great,knotty,ruddy,massy,mightyprick!"
Always,exceptonSabbathdays,
Nellwithherbusyneedleplays
Butnotthemilliner'sneedle,Miss!
No,'tisthesailor'sneedle,dear!
Thatshowsthemarinerhowtosteer
Rightthroughtheoceanofherpiss.
TheEditoroftheStandardisagoodnaturedfellow,everreadytoattendthe
wantsofhiscustomers,moreespeciallywhentheyhappentobegoodlooking
membersofthefairsex.
Thefollowingconversationwhichrecentlytookplaceintheofficeofthe
Standard,fullycarriesoutourassertion:
ENTERSLADY:
LadyIstheEditorin?
EditorYes,Madame,whatcanIdoforyou?
LadyIdesireanarticleinsertedandshouldlikeyoutoputitinforme.
EditorCertainly,withpleasure,ifyouwillfirstshowittome,sothatImay
see
whatitislike.
LadyIwishasituationasawetnurseandshouldliketogetagoodhealthy
boy.
(EditorpreparesthisadvertisementandshowsittotheLady,wholikesthe
lookofit
andwishesittobeputinatonce,andaskstheprice.)
EditorHowoftenshallyouwantitputin?
LadyWell,Icannottell!Thatwilldependwhetheritistakenornotbutwhat
will
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youchargeforinsertingitthreetimes?
EditorOnedollarforputtingitinthreetimes.
LadyOh,howdear!Youmightdoitformeforless!
EditorNo,Madame,wehavesomanyladiestooblige,thatisourlowestprice
for
insertingthreetimessuchanarticleasyouaskfor.
LadyWell,supposeyoudonotgetmeababyinthreetimes,howmuchwill
you
chargemeforthreetimesmore?
EditorWhyMadame,ifyoucanmanagetokeeptheaffairstandingafterthat,
for
onedollarmoreIwillputitinasoftenasyoulike,tillIgetyouachildthatis,
of
course,providedtheinkcontinuestoflow.
FLUNKEYANIAORBELGRAVIANMORALS.
BYCHARLES.
CHAPTERVI.
Honouramongstmaidservants,youwouldhavethoughtso,hadyoubutseen
howSophyandLucy,afterreceivingtheDuke'sretainingfee,workedforhis
pleasureinhopesofgettingarefresherwhenheretired.
Norweretheirlaboursinvain.Yet,Iverilybelievehehadstimulatedhimself
byadoseoftinctureofcantharides,phosphodyne,orsomethingofthatsort,
forhe
wasaperfectgoat.
Lucyinhernightdresswassittingontheedgeofthebedwithafingerbetween
herthighs,evidentlytryingtoimpressuponhisGracethenecessityofanother
bitof
flimsyforherbedfellowandfromwhatIcouldonlypartiallyhear,hemade
that
dependonhowtheypleasedhimfirst.
AlthoughIcouldnothearallthatwassaid,whatIsawwillenablemetosupply
thedialogue.
Lucynowproceededtobusinessbysuddenlythrowingthebedclothesoff
Sophy,whosechemisesheturnedup,andbegantosmackherlilywhitebum
before
shecouldverywellhelpherself.
Icouldseetheredmarksflushonhertenderskinateveryslap.Thisseemed
greatlytopleasetheDuke,whodidhisbesttopreventthehelplessgirlfrom
getting
up.
Sophystruggleddesperately,lookingbothflushedandcrossbutafraidtocall
outforfearofmakingtoomuchnoise.
HisGracehadgoneonhisexpeditioninslippersanddressinggown.Sowhen
thisslappingwasoverheslippedoffhisonlycoverings,anddroppingthe
slippers,
hadnothingbuthisstockingsonashejumpedonthebedbetweenthetwo
girls,his
greataffairasstiffandreadyaspossible.
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Sophywasthefirsttotakepossessionofthatredheadedprize.Shewas
evidentlyexcitedbytheroughusageofherposteriorsandbeggedtobe
comfortedat
once.
"Soyoushall,mydear,"saidtheDuke,"andletyourbedfellowstraddleover
myface,thatIcantickleherupwithmytonguewhilstyouridemycock."
Thiswasaluscioussightandraisedallmyownlustfulfeelingsquitetoburst
point,till,astheyallseemedtocometogether,Iactuallyemittedinmy
breeches.
Afterthis,eachofthemsuckedhisprickandballsbyturn,tillhemountedLucy
andfuckedherlikeasatyrSophyallthewhilekissingandfondlinghis
testiclesand
workingonefingerinhisarseholetoexcitehimtotheutmost.
Eventhisdidnotexhausthim,forhegamahuchedthembyturns,andevendid
the"LaRose"trickoftheFrenchwomen,byfriggingtheirbottomswithhis
long
tongue,whichseemedtodrivethemalmostmad.Theygothisprickina
glorious
stateagain,andathisrequest,bothkneltdownonhandsandknees,
presentingtheir
bottomstohim.WhatasurpriseIhad,forheburiedthatgreatburstingprick
ofhis
ineacharseholeinturn,andthenforachange,intheircunts.Hemadeitlast
awfullylongandIcouldseeplainlybytheirwrigglesofdelightandthe
subdued
ejaculationsofpleasurewhichIheard,suchas:"Hownicelovelydelicious.
Howyoudomakemecome.Oh,dospendintome,"etc.,aseachgirlwasalso
busy
friggingherselfaswell.
Atlastitwasover.Isawhimtakingthesecondfiveroutofhisdressinggown.
So,turningfromthekeyhole,Iretracedmysteps.Everyonetohistaste,I
reflected,
asIquicklyandcautiouslydescendedthestairsonmyhomewardjourney.And
yet
again,Ithought,amanmightdoworseandifIhadnotbeensoexceptionally
fortunate,asIam,ImightbeverygladoftwosuchbuxomlassesasSophy
and
Lucy.
ThesereflectionsbroughtmetothedooroftheDuchessofDashwood(quitein
anotherpartofthehousefromthatoftheDuke)andhereIessayedtomake
my
knockingwithmyknuckles.
ButwhetherJuliettewasinthearmsofMorpheusorofoneofouryoung
footmen,orofM.Duroque,orofallthree,Icannottellbutatanyrate,Icould
not
obtainadmittance,untilIheardtheboltwithdrawnandthevoiceoftheEarl,
my
master,tellingmetocomein.
IenteredaccordinglyandmadeafullreportofwhatIhadseen,muchtothe
pretendedsurpriseofHisLordship,butnotatalltothesurpriseofthe
Duchess,who
declaredwithconsiderableemphasis,"Itwasjustlikehim!"
She,thentotallyobliviousofmypresence,asitseemedandofherown
dishabille,whichmightbecharmingbutwassomewhatremarkableforherown
peculiarsituation,thatistosay,amarriedwomancomfortablyinbedwith
another
woman'shusbandtotallyforgetfulofallthesetriflesasitseemedshebegan
to
expatiateupontheenormitiesperpetratedbyhisGraceofDashwood.
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Ofthevaluableimpulsehehadgiventothepopulationinhisneighbourhood
throughthemediumofthefarmers'daughtersandprettycottagegirlsthat
shenever
couldkeepadecentlookingchambermaidorhousemaidinthecastlethatin
Londonhewasworse,ifpossiblethatshesuspectedhimofimproperconduct
with
MademoiselleJuliette,thebestsoubrettesheeverhad,andwasgettingonata
great
rate,whentheEarlpolitelyremindedherthatmypresenceintheroomwasno
longer
requiredandsuggestedthatIshouldbeallowedtoretire,whichherGrace
cordially
agreedto,commentingatthesametimeuponmymannersandgeneral
appearancein
astylewhichImaybeforgivenfornotrepeating,butwhichsuggestedmy
having
foundfavourinhereyes.
Asthereadermaybelieve,ItookparticularlygoodcaretoreporttomyLady
on
thefollowingmorningallthatIhadseenregardingtheDukeandDuchess.
Asconcernedtheproceedingoftheformertherewasnoembellishment
requiredaplainunvarnishedstatementoffactswasallthatIdaredventure
onandit
wasenoughinallconscience.
ButwhereherGraceandmyLady'shusbandswereconcerned,Imustplead
guilty,Ifear,tohavingthrowninalittlecolouring,suggestedafewnatural
touches
infact,thatbroughtout(sotospeak)theprominentfeaturesofthepicture
intohigh
relief.
ThetriflingepisodeaboutJuliettecomingbyherselfintomyroomandassisting
atmytoilet,Ithoughtitjudicioustosaynothingaboutwhatever.
Myreportproduced,asmightbeexpected,avarietyofconflictingemotionsin
themindofLadyPomeroy.
Butwhileshewasreflecting,Isupposeastowhatopiniontoexpress,Justine,
likeafavouredgirl,tookthelibertytoopentheballwith:"Pray,MasterErnest,
whenyouwereboundonsuchanerrandwhydidyounotcallatmyroomand
take
mewithyou?Twowitnesseswouldhavebeenbetterthanone,youknow."
IrepliedwithasmuchgravityasIcould,thoughIcouldhardlysuppressa
laugh,thatIcouldnotthinkofintroducingsuchyouthfulpuritytosuchascene
of
licentioussensuality.
Atthisremark,notwithstandinghervexation,myLadyPomeroyfairlysmiled,
andIthinkthatJustinewouldhaveboxedmyearsifshehaddared.
Thenshecontinuedherexaminationbyaskingif:"Thatwretch,Juliette,wasin
theroomwhenImademyreporttotheDuchess?"
"No,shewasnot,"Ibrieflyanswered.
"Andwherethedev(itwasnearlyout)wasshethen?"
"HowshouldIknow?"wasmyreply.
"Rockingsomebodytosleep,IpresumeLadyGeorgiana,orM.Duroque,or
somebodyelse."
"Hush,Justine,"saidtheCountessnowlaughing,"youaretooforward,andas
foryourreport,Ernest,itisallverydisgustingofcourse,butitisvery
painstaking
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andfaithfulonyourpart,anditisacomforttoknowthatIshallnotbeI
bothered
withtheattentionsofthatbruteofaDuke,whileheishereandI'lltakecare
that
Justineisnotannoyed.Asforthosetwofoolsofhousemaids,Ishan'ttakeany
noticeoftheirconductitwouldonlycreateageneralscandal.OfcourseI
knewthat
myLordmisbehavedhimselfgrosslywiththeDuchessbutdidnotknowthat
she
abandonedherselfsocompletelywhentherewasathirdparty,anda
handsome
youngman,intheroom.Whatisyouropiniononthesubject?"
TothisIrepliedwithallbecomingindifferencethatitwasasubjectonwhichI
hardlyfeltcompetenttoexpressanopinion,wheninthepresenceofsucha
good
judgeasHerLadyship,butasfarasmyownpersonalfeelingswereconcerned,
that
herGrace'sselfabandonmentandforgetfulnessofthebarrierswhichmodesty
might
haveinterposedinthepresenceofathirdparty,producednoeffectwhatever.
And
thatIhadlatelybeentakinglessonsinanacademyofsuchaverysuperior
gradeto
thatinwhichitappearedherGracehadtakenherdegrees,thatIconsider
myselftoo
proficienttorequireinstructionfromherinanybranchoflearningwhatever.
OfcoursethisspeechwasunderstoodpreciselyasIintendedittobe.
JustinelaughedandmylovelymistresssmiledandcolouredandsaidthatI
was
"asilly,flatteringboy,"butseemedverymuchgratifiednevertheless.
Iwasthendismissedforthepresent,underdirectionstoattendherGrace
when
shetookLadyGeorgianaoutforadriveintheafternoon.
Icouldnothelplaughinginmysleeve,asIwonderedwhethertheywould
drive
inthedirectionofherLady'snurse,wholivedinacertainobscurestreet,orif
Miss
Courtneywouldbepickedupanywhereandmakeathirdinsidepassenger.
Accordingtotheoldadageathirdmakesbadcompany,butunderthese
circumstancesIdonotthinkthateitheroftheladieswouldhaveobjectedto
the
addition.
However,Imayaswellsayatoncethatnothingofanyconsequenceoccurred
duringthedrive.Thatis,nothingatallostensibletospeakabout.
Ifanyconversationtookplacebetweentheladiesthatproducedsomeeffecton
themshortlyafterwards,Icannottellforacertainty,asofcoursecouldhear
nothing
ofit.But,judgingfromthehintsthrownoutbymyLadyPomeroytoLady
Georgianaandherlongingtoseeherhaughtinessandscornofmenbrought
downto
aproperlevel,andconnectingthesesuggestionswithamysteriousadventure
which
befellmethedayaftertheladiesdroveouttogether,Icannotbutthinkthat
Her
Ladyshiphadsomehandherselfinbringingaboutthefulfillmentofherown
predictions.
Onthatdayasithappened,ormostprobablyitwasselectedonpurpose,the
DukeandDuchessandtheEarlhadgonetothetheatretheCountessdesiring
to
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remainathomeandLadyGeorgianastayedtokeephercompany.
Ithadbecomequitelateintheeveningandasmyserviceswerenotrequired,
I
wassittingbymyself,whenJuliettecameinwithoutknocking,silentlyand
mysteriously,asoncebefore,butnotwiththesameresults.Shemerelycame,
asshe
said,totellmethatmypresencewasrequired.
"Where?"
Nevermind,Iwasrequired,thatwasenough,andveryflatteringtome!
Moreoveritwasabsolutelyrequisitethatmyeyesshouldbebandaged.
Now,IwasnofoolandIwasprettycertainthatnoharmcouldcometomein
theEarl'smansionatanyrate.Moreover,ifmyeyeswerebandaged,myhands
were
freebesides,Imayaswellconfesstomyreadersthatmylastassociation
withmy
eyesbandaged,ormorenearlyproposedtobebandaged,wasanextremely
agreeable
onesoafterafaintshowofobjectionIsubmitted,havingaprettystrong
notionof
theobjectofthegrandadventure.
Iwasthenledbymyconductressuponepassageanddownanother,evidently
forthepurposeofpuzzlingme,andthiswassuccessful,foronbeingushered
intoa
room,IcertainlycouldnotmakeoutwhereIwas.Thattheroomwas
comfortable
andwithsomeluxuriousarticlesoffurnitureinit,therewasnodoubt.Alsothat
thereweretwoorthreefemalesinit,Iwaspersuaded,forIheardlow
whisperings,
someofanargumentativecharacter.Someasifinfun,andsomeseemed
madein
allusiontomeinconnectionwithsomesportorother.
ButIwasnotsuchafoolasnottomakeashrewdguessastowhatsortof
sport
waslikelytotakeplace,whenafewmerryyoungwomenhavegotahandsome
youngmaninaroomamongthem,withhiseyesbandaged,andawaitedmy
fatewith
becomingfortitude.
Ihadnotlongtowait.
Iheardsomeonegiveawhisperedpersuasion,somemoregigglingandthen
violenthandswerelaiduponme.Idon'tmeantosaythatIwashurtorthat
the
handslaiduponmewereparticularlyrough,butatanyothertimeIwould
have
protestedagainstindignitiesofferedtomeunderthecircumstancesI
consideredit
wiserandpleasantertoholdmytongueandsubmittomyfate.
SoIdid.Sowouldmyreaderifhehadsuchachance.Fancyyourself
blindfoldedasIwas,andfancyseveralpairsofdelicatesofthandspullingoff
your
clothes,tilltherewasnoragonyourbodyexceptyourstockingsandthe
handkerchiefoveryoureyes.Howwouldyouliketohearasoft,gentlevoiceas
pleasantasaripplingbrook,say:"Lookatthatbeauty,won'tyoukissitsruby
head?"
ThenasofthandtakesJohnThomas,gentlydrawsbacktheforeskinandyou
first
feelthewarmbreath,thenthetouchofthevelvetytongueofsomebeauty
who,you
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instinctivelyknow,feelsherbloodatthatmomentinaboilofvoluptuously
longing
excitement.
Youaredrawnsoftlytoacouch,laidgentlyonyourback,andsomedelightful
creaturesplitsherselfuponyourrod,ridesitwithspirit,tilljusttheecstatic
moment
herlipsaregluedtoyoursinlonglusciouslyamorouskisses,asthesoul
dissolving
emissionmixesthemaleandfemalesemeninonelifegivingstreamof
pleasure.
Sherollsasideandanotherfaircreaturetakesherplacebeforeyouhavetime
to
loseyourstiffness.(Freshcunt,freshcourage.)Onyougoforasteeplechase
of
loveagain,againyoucometogether!EachtimeItastedtheheavenlyblissof
coition,ifpossible,inamoredelightfuldegree,forIhadfourofthem,one
after
another,beforetheyallowedmetogetup.
Thenthedarlingsdressedme,butmadesuchapretendedmuddleofgetting
on
mytrousers,astheylaughinglytriedtoputmylimpprickawaycomfortablyin
its
place,itgotsohandledandsqueezedthatIhadthehornasever.So,seizing
thefirst
oneIcouldhold,Iborehertothefloor,upwithherdressandintoherreeking
cunny
inlesstimethanittakestowriteit.
Thiswasadeliciousbout,fortheotherslaughedandslappedourbottomsall
the
whileaswewriggledonthecarpet.IwassodelightedIamsureImademy
partner
spendthreetimesbeforeIwassubdued,andshelaylistlesslybeneathmein
theafter
lethargyofsatisfieddesire.
Whilstfeelingherbeautifullegsmyhandscameuponasmallloosestrapwhich
IslylyslippedintomytrousersasIputawaythelimpengineoflove,thinking
perhapstomakeoutmyantagonistwhenIexaminedthecoloursIhad
capturedon
thesly.
IwaskissedandsentawayinchargeofJulietteandsoonfoundmyselfinmy
ownroomagain.
Itwasamostmysteriousstory,butIhadobtainedaslightclue,averyslight
one
certainly,whenmyconductressadvisedmetoputmyselfinorderasIshould
probablyberequiredtowaituponmymistressandLadyGeorgianaatthe
supper
table.
ButnosoonerwasherbackturnedthanIinspectedthelittlewaiforstrayI
had
securedinmypocketandfound,asIexpected,thatitwasneithermorenor
lessthan
alady'sgarter,andoneofacolourandmakethatIhadneverseenbefore.
Anyhow,thenextmorningMlle.Juliettewasmakinganxiousenquiriesabout
oneofherLady'selasticswhichIatonceofferedtorestoreonconditionof
being
allowedtoreplaceit.Andifanyoneconsidersthisaffordsacluetomy
mysterious
adventuretheyarewelcometoit.Ihavenoopiniontoofferexceptthatitis
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timeto
windupmystory.
TheEarlofPomeroyandtheDuchessofDashwoodnevervisitedthetheatreon
theeventfuleveningIhavejustdescribedtheDuke,whocouldnotobtaina
divorce,
filledhishousewithsuchbadcompanythathisdaughter,theLadyGeorgiana,
has
obtainedpermissiontoliveundertheprotectionofherparticularfriend,the
Countess
ofPomeroy.
JustineandI,beingsocomfortablyfixedandquiteyoungasyet,thinkitwould
befollytomarryatpresentandsoweretainourconfidentialstations.
THEEND.
MEMORANDAFROMMR.P.
Mr.ReddieusedtocallmePetro,asashortfamiliarnamebutwhilsthe
lodged
withmeatmyhouse,BrecknockCrescent,CamdenTown(N.B.Thisiswhere
I
firstwasintroducedtoMr.Reddie),Iwascontinuallyafraidhewouldbring
himself
orbothofusintoserioustrouble.
Once,Iremember,wewenttoMargateforafewweeksattheseaside,andthe
landladyofthehousewherewestoppedhadaverygoodlookingson,ayouth
not
overfifteen,ifquitesoold.Mr.Reddiewasinloveatonce,buthowtowinthe
boy
overwasthedifficulty.
"Petro,"hewouldsay,"Imustfuckthatboyorgooutofmymindfromfrigging
myselfasIlieinbedandthinkofhim.Howcanwemanageit,oldboy?"
Irecommendedpatience,andanopportunitywouldbesuretoturnup.
"Treathimwell,andlet'stakehimoutforabatheorawalkwithuswhenever
he
willgo,"Isaid.
Myadvicewastaken.YoungFrankwassoonquiteathomeinourroomsand
evidentlypleasedatbeingmadesuchafavouritebythelodgers,whowere
always
treatinghimtocakes,wineorfruit.
Wetookseveralpromenadeswithhimascompanion,andinafewdayshealso
regularlyaccompaniedusandsharedthesamemachinewithuswhenwe
bathed.
Howwejokedhimabouthislittledoodle,askedhimifitwouldstandstiffand
aboutboysplayingwitheachother'scocksatschool.Thiswasofcoursedone
very
carefullyandgradually,andwebegantothinkhimdiscreetenoughashehad
often
assuredusthathetoldnotalesoutofschool,whenwegavehimshillingsor
half
crowns.
Hismotherwasabuxomwomanofabouteightandthirty,whohadbeenlefta
widowforsomeyears,herhusbandhavingbeenintheCivilService,butdied
after
theyhadbeenmarriedabouttenyears.
NowMrs.Gloverwasdecidedlymoretomytastethantheboy.SoImade
assiduouscourtshipofheronmyownaccount,forMr.Reddiecouldn'teven
bearfor
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awomantotouchhim.
Herbedroomwasnexttomine,andIhadapeepholesothatIcouldwatchall
hermovementsasshedressedorundressed,andhadoftennoticedhowshe
sometimeslookedathercuntintheglassandseemedtosighasifthinkingof
past
joys.Onenightinparticular,beforesittingonthechamberpotasusualbefore
gettingintobed,sheseatedherselfonthebedsidedrawinguphernight
chemiseto
hernavel,whilstsheatfirstgentlyfriggedherclitoriswithacoupleoffingers.
I
couldseethelittlepieceoffleshstandoutquiteexcitedly.Herfingersworked
nervouslyforamomentortwo,asherfacebegantoflush,andherbosomto
heave
withemotion,whenallofasudden,shefellbackwardsonthebedintheactof
spending,herlegswideopen,allowingmetoseeclearlyafewpearlydrops
glisteningonherbusyfingers.
Nowwasmychance.Ihadobservedsheneverlockedherdoor.Myprickwas
rampantforsuchagloriousfuck,asIbelievedshewouldbe,andhavingonly
my
shirtandstockingson,Inoiselesslyopenedmydooraswellasherownso
quietlyas
tobequiteunperceivedbymylusciousvictim,asshelaygaspingonthebed,
from
theeffectsofhercopiousemission.Ihadpreviouslywelloiledthelocksofboth
doorsonthesly.
Stoopingdown,sothatshewouldnotseemyapproachandhavingneither
boots
norslippersonmyfeet,Isoonwaskneelingbetweenheropenlegsandgazing
my
fillatthedeliciousthrobbingcuntofmylandlady.Shestilllaywithtwofingers
rightin,butnotfrigging.Themarkwasfairandopen,so,slowlyrising,I
brought
thenoseofmyimpatientprickwithinaninchofthespot.Itwasthenvery
gently
touched.Therewasakindofspasmodictwitchofsympathy,butshedidnot
otherwiseseemtonoticeit,andIcouldseehereyeswereclosed.
Mr.Peaslinwentongentlytoinsinuatehimselfandfortunatelyformygame
cock,thespendinghadoiledhersothatIgainedaninchortwo,andthenwith
a
suddenplungeasIclaspedherroundthehips,Iwasthreequartersenteredin
a
moment.
Whatastartshegave,butseemedtohavethepresenceofmindnotto
scream.
"Oh,Heavens,sir,whatareyouabout?I'mruined!Leaveme,youwicked
man,
thisinstant!"sheexclaimed,asIcouldseethetearsstarttohereyes,andthe
deep
blushofshameoverspreadherface.
"Notyet,mydarlingMrs.Glover!Ihadapeepholeandthesightofyou
fingeringyourselfdrovemequitemadwithdesire.Now,won'tyouforgiveme?
I
couldn'thelpmyself,"Ireplied,asIseizedtheopportunitytopushonto
victory,and
feltmyselfburiedtothehiltinherthrobbingsheath.
Ilayonherkissingandimploringforforgiveness,makingmyprickthrobinside
ofherasIdidso,andatlastshefaintlysmiledmypardon.Ineednottellyou
more,
howweusedtosleeptogethereverynight,andthatourliaisonquiteblinded
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herto
ourintentionsregardingMasterFrank.
Wesoonproceededtoallsortsofindecencieswiththeyouth.Mr.Reddieand
myselfwouldcomparetheimmensedifferenceinthesizeofourpricksbefore
himin
thebathingmachine(Reddie'swasaverysmallone,notfiveinches).We
askedhim
tofeelandjudgeforhimself.Theverytouchofhisdelicatesoftyouthfulhand
made
theseedshootfromme,whichyoumaybesureimmenselysurprisethelad,
and
madehimblushscarlet,sothatwewereafraidofhavinggonetoofar.
AnothermorningMr.Reddiegamahuchedhimtillhespentinhismouthand
seemedtoenjoythesucking,afterwhichwehandledeachother'spricksand
he
amusedhimselfwiththem,untilweemittedourjuice,minespurtingallover
his
bellyashestoodinfrontofme.Thenwewentintotheseatorefreshourselves
and
afterwardsmadehimapresentofhalfasovereign,whichhisinnocentmother,
I
believe,thoughtwasonlyadelicatewayofpleasingherself.
Adayortwoafterthis,Mr.Reddiepretendedtobeobligedtoreturntotown
for
twoorthreedaysandweeasilypersuadedMrs.GlovertoallowFranktogo
withus,
andIpromisedtoshowhimallthesights,whileMr.Reddiewasattendingto
his
businessthisshealsotookasanotherkindnesstoherselfandwestartedon
our
journey.
WetookapartmentsintownatthehouseofaMrs.Anderson(anoldfriendof
Mr.Reddie'swherehewasalwayssafetodoashepleased).Theyconsistedof
a
sittingroomandbedroomadjoining,thelatterwithtwobedsinitsothatFrank
had
tosleepwitheitheroneofus.
Thenweshowedhimafinecollectionofcolouredplatesofboysandgirls,boys
withboysormen,etc.,someofthelatterplainlyshowingtheyhadgottheir
cocksin
theirpartners'bottoms.
"You'lllethimdoittoyou,Petro,won'tyou?"appealedMr.Reddieashe
whisperedinecstasy:"Ishallsoonbelandednow!"
Therewasnoobjectonmyparthislittlecockcouldn'thurtme.Besides,Ihad
agreatfancyforitatthemoment,andtoldhimhemustputhisarmsaround
my
waistandhandlemycockandmakeitcome.
Frankwasquitepleasedtotry.Hisyouthfulaffairwasquitestiffandhardat
the
ideaofhavingaman.
WethrewoffeverythingandIkneltdownonallfoursonthehearthrug.Then,
Mr.ReddieguidedFrank'spricktomyarseholeandhesoonwriggleditin
whilst
hishandclaspedandfriggedmybigcockinfront.Itwassoextraordinarily
exciting
tomyideasthatIspentatonce,andclaspedoneofmyhandsroundeachof
his
wriststomakehimfrigquickeralsotosecurehimincaseheflinchedfrom
Reddie's
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assault.
MyfriendhadalreadygotafingerwellgreasedwithcoldcreamupFrank's
fundamentwhichtheboyseemedtoenjoyratherthannot,asImightjudgeby
the
increasingactivityofhislittleprickinmyarse.
"Now,Frank,"saidMr.Reddie,"youwillletmetrytohaveyou,won'tyou,you
dearboy?Itwon'thurt."
Ihadpreviouslytakenalookingglassfromthedressingtableandplacediton
thefloor,soIcouldseeeverymotionofbothofmycompanions.Withone
hand
Reddiewascaressingthecockandballsoftheboy,ashefuckedmybottom,
whilst
hisrighthandpresentshispricktothetightlittlepinkarseholewhichkept
bobbing
towardshim.
FrankwincedalittleattheattackbutReddiebeingsmall,asIhavesaid,had
no
difficultyineffectuallygettingintohim.Howhisfaceflushedandhiseyes
sparkled
withdelightashealmostscreamedout:"I'min,oh,delicious!I'mlandedat
last,
Petro,mydearfellow!I'mcomingIcan'tstop!"
ThismademecomeagainandIalsofeltFrankspendatthesamemoment.
We
keptourplacesandhadanothersplendidbottomfuckbeforeseparating.
MyprickwastoobigtogetintoeitherofmycompanionsbutIlovedtohave
the
boyfuckme,andfrigmewhilstReddiehadhim.
Theverythoughtofthatadventuremakesmyoldpegostandatanymoment.
TheRev.KettleofBatterseametontheRhineboataladywhohadnotseen
him
foryears."Howdoyoudo,Mr.Kettle,Iheardyouweremarried.Anyfamily?"
"Yes,Madme,six."
"Six,dearme!howmanyareboysandhowmanygirls?"
"Thenumberisdivided,Madame,therearesixlittleKettles,threewithspouts,
threewithout."
THINGSIDON'TLIKETOSEE.
I'mamodestyoungman,I'dhaveyouallknow,
AndIcan'tbeartohearortoseeanythinglow
Fromachildallmyfriendscouldnotfailtodetect,
Thatmynotionsweremoralandstrictlycorrect.
Nowsomeofyou,doubtless,maythinkmeanass,
Anddeclaremyconfessionisnaughtforafarce
Still,towhatIhavesaidI'llreligiouslystick,
And,tousealowphrase,standmygroundlikeabrick.
Stop,afewminutesyouareabletospare,
AbitofmymindIintendtolaybare
Tho'withmywayofthinkingyou'llp'rapsnotagree,
I'lltellyouafewthingsIdon'tliketosee.
Idon'tliketoseevulgargirlsinthetown
Pulltheirclothesup,andstandtobegoosedforacrown
Noramanwithlighttrousers,ofdecencyshorn,
Stopandtalktoyoungladieswhilehavingthehorn.
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Idon'tliketoseewomenweardirtysmocks,
Noraboyoffifteenlaid'upwiththepox
AndIdon'tliketosee,it'safactbymylife
Amarriedmangrindinganotherman'swife.
NorIdon'tliketoseeyou'llnotdoubtit,Ibeg,
Alargelinseedpoulticeslipdownaman'sleg
Noragrayheadedsinnerthat'sfondofafind.
Whenagirlundertwelveheisabletogrind.
Inchurch,too,believeme,Idon'tliketosee
Achapgropeagirlwhileshesitsonhisknee
Noraladywhosevisageisalloverscabs,
Norayoungmarriedladytroubledwithcrabs.
NorIdon'tliketosee,throughit'sreallyalark,
Aclergymanpokingagirlinthepark
Norayounglady,wishingtobethoughtdiscreet,
LookinginprintshopsinHolywellStreet.
Idon'tliketosee,comingoutofCremorne,
Agirlwithhermuslinmuchcrumpledandtorn
Arminarmwithafellowwho'shadthemishap,
Toforget,whenheshaggedher,tobuttonhisflap.
NorIdon'tliketosee,thoughsomethinkitatreat.
Ayoungwomanscratchingherthinginthestreet
Andaboardingschoolmiss,withnosenseinherpate.
Sitandchalkaman'stoolonthebackofherslate.
Idon'tliketosee,inthebrightfaceoftheday,
Amanstandandpissinthepublichighway
NoraNewfoundlanddog,withoutanydisguise.
Tiedfasttoabitchnotaquarterhissize.
NorIdon'tliketosee,littlesistersandbrothers
Getplayingatwhattheycallfathersandmothers
AndIdon'tliketosee,thoughatmeyoumightscoff,
Anoldwomantryingtotossherselfoff.
Idon'tliketoseeit'safactthatIutter
Thatnastywordwrittenuponashutter:
AndIdon'tliketoseeaman,drunkasanEarl.
Gettingintoalamppostthinkingit'sagirl.
Idon'tliketosee,'causemyfeelingsitshocks.
Twogirlsbusyplayingwitheachother'sc
NorIdon'tliketosee,thoughitmaybeawhim.
Aholelikeapitmouthinplaceofaq.
ButIfearI'mencroachingtoomuchonyourtime,
SoI'llputanendtomyquizzicalrhyme
Thoughwithmywayoftasteyou'llperhapsnotagree,
I'vetoldyouthethingsIdon'tliketosee.
A'THATANDA'THAT.
PutbutterinmyDonald'sbrose,
ForweeldoesDonaldfathat
IlovemyDonald'startanhose,
Hisnakedprick,anda'that.
Fora'thatanda'that,
Andtwiceasmickleasa'that:
Thelassiegetaskelpitgnat,
Butwanthedayfora'that.
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ForDonaldsworeasolemnoath,
Byhisfirsthairygravat,
Thathewouldfightthebattlethere,
Andfuckthelassanda'that.
Chorus:Fora'thatanda'that,etc.
Hishairycock,bothsideandwide,
Hunglikeabeggar'swallet
Hisprickstoodlikearollingpin,
Shenicker'dwhenshesawthat.
Andthensheturneduphercunt,
AndshebadeDonaldclawthat
Thedevil'sdizzenDonalddrew,
AndDonaldgavehera'that.
FACETIAE.
Bossreturningfromthewars,
Weariedoutwithwoundsandjars,
Tellsthetaleofbloodandstrife,
Woeandsufferingtohiswife
"Nevermind,dearBoss,"shesaid,
"Yourtoolissafelet'sgotobed."
Throughmybrainstrangemusingsran,
Deeplypondering:"Whatisman?"
StillthequestionIresolve,
Philosophicdoubtstosolve:
"Whatisman?I'lltellyoutrue,
He'sbutapizzle'sdirtyspew!"
LINESFORVALENTINES.
Whatafatethispoorgirlinherloversbefalls,
Apricklessoldman,andayouthwithoutballs.
Boastnotthatyouhavewonarichwife,
Lengthoftool,notofpurse,makesthecomfortoflife.
Yourprickissouselessforlove'spleasantgame,
Yournoselongandhookyandfuckofsuchmuck,
Go,stickthenyournoseinthecuntofyourdame,
Andyou'llhaveatonegobothablowandafuck.
Tohisbedhewentsleepyanddrunk,oh,very!
Hewantedtopiss,feltaboutforthejerry,
Tookupbymischanceabigmousetrapinstead,
Whichsnappedoff,alas!hisoldgentleman'shead!
ADVERTISEMENTS.
ToBeSoldABargain
AMAIDENHEAD
(SlightlySoiled)
Theownerbeingabouttogetmarriediswillingtoselltheabovebyauction.
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12/29/2015
FurtherparticularswillbeannouncedinthenextnumberofTHEPEARL.
TOTHELOVERSOFGOODTHINGS.
Messrs.Rogers,RosencrantzandCo.,ImportersofForeignFemales,andother
Curiosities,begtoannouncethearrivalofacargopersteamshipOrient,direct
from
Zululand,ofyounggirlsofallagesfrom8to16yearsofage,allgenuine
virgins
whichwillbeofferedforselectionanytimenext'week.TermsC.O.D.
N.B.Asthisclassofgoodsisextremelyperishablebuyersmustremovetheir
purchasesattheirownrisk.
Ordersfromthecountryperpostcarefullyattendedtoandthegirlssent
sealed
withourtrademarkovertheircunnies,withoutwhichwedonotguarantee
them.
RELIGIOUS.
Rev.NewmanHallwilllectureon"TheConductofLotandHisDaughters,"
December20.IllustratedwithDissolvingviewsofthePaternalPegoentering
the
Daughters'Cunts.
AlsoJanuary7:"SolomonInAllHisGlory,"with700wivesand300
concubinesbeinganattempttoelucidatethemysteryofhowhegave
satisfactionto
themall.
Rev.J.SpurgeonwillAddresstheYoungWoman'sChristianAssociationonthe
subjectof:
CIRCUMCISION.
Withpracticalexamplesoftheadvantageofremovingthehoodorforeskin
from
thepenis.
Admissiontowomenonly.Nocollection.
Lastrevised:26October2015.ConditionsofUse.KnownBugs.
Copyright20012015byTheJackHorntipCollection.Allrightsreserved.
27/27

The Pearl #17 - (Nov, 1880)

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The Pearl #17 - (Nov, 1880)

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