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Marissa Kochan
Professor Gina Bell
Capstone
22 February 2016
The Forgiveness Project:
Research, Analysis, and Solution

ABSTRACT

Coping strategies learned early in life will aid in the developmental process of children
and adolescents. This paper examines different forms of trauma that children might experience in the form of maltreatment, bullying, and unfair disciplinary action - and how those negative
experiences affect the child later in life. Research has shown that early development of crucial
coping skills is positively associated with self-esteem and negatively associated with social
anxiety. With the integrating of practicing forgiveness, inherent worth, and understanding in
schools, children have a much higher chance of developing the proper coping skills to overcome
traumatic situations and life-changing events. With the help of existing research, private funds,
and influential educators, forgiveness education can become mainstream, and adopted in schools
all over the globe.
DEFINITION, BACKGROUND, AND CONTEXT

All beings are born into the world innocent, only to suffer through great tragedy and strife
until the time to die arrives. How comforting to have the company of suffering, and share it with
humankind. A better partner, one could argue, is forgiveness. A better partner is love, and yet we
choose suffering. Not only is our hurt constantly circulated through shared negative experiences
with others, but that very same suffering has the power to shape the way we cope with future

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trauma. Children and adolescents especially need a responsible adult they can trust to give
perspective on tragic or traumatic situations. If the parents or guardians arent able to provide
that support, or if they happen to be a part of the problem, its imperative that children have an
alternative method of finding stability in a chaotic world. Every child has the right to be educated
about forgiveness of the self, others, and circumstance. The practices and preventative measures
that accompany forgiveness education will help them cope with current and future trauma and
major life events.
Traumatizing events occur in childrens lives every day, and not knowing how to cope
with those life-changing events can set a person back his or her entire life. Oftentimes it is the
people closest to the child - family and friends - who can inflict the most harm, whether
knowingly or unknowingly. When the child then associates people who love them with
maltreatment, it can be misconstrued for an acceptable way to treat others or to be treated. Child
Maltreatment is defined by the World Health Organization as all forms of physical and
emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect, and exploitation that results in actual or potential
harm to the childs health, development or dignity. The vulnerability and innocence that
children are gifted with at birth are gradually chipped away at in childhood, whether the child
develops fear for those who should be trusted, or in more extreme cases when a child is in
legitimate danger. Parents, teachers, peers, coaches, and other influences in childrens lives
contribute directly to the successes and failures in a childs development and self-image. A
federal government study on child maltreatment showed there were over three million children in
the United States who received a Child Protective Services response in 2012, and these are only
the cases that are reported. Taking into consideration the amount of cases that go unreported, and
the population growth in the last four years, that number is likely significantly higher today. In

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addition to being a social injustice, the lack of education focused on helping children cope with
trauma outside of school is a moral failure. Not only is this a detriment to the development of the
children directly involved, but maltreatment is then spread to others through negative peer
interactions.
Bullying alone has become an exponentially growing concern in American society, and is
arguably directly related to child maltreatment. Most if not all violent offenses are punishable by
suspension and expulsion in primary schools in the United States. Oftentimes the bully is thought
of more as a problem to be solved rather than a soul in need of healing. Those who bully others
in childhood are certainly not immune to mental or emotional health problems as they grow
older. A myriad of studies conducted around the world have shown that all children involved in
bullying, even perpetrators, are at risk for developing social, emotional, and psychosomatic
issues (Cowie and Colliery 25). When we consider those who bully others, rarely are we
mindful of the lack of self-worth or confidence that the bully suffers. A wounded self can
sometimes find comfort in bringing others down to stew with them in a melting pot of hate.
Research has shown that bullying behavior is not likely to be broken when initiated early on.
Bullies and victims of bullying continue to hold their role later on in high school and their adult
life (Cowie and Colliery 25). The maltreatment of peers often stems from influences outside of
school, and that learned behavior is then brought into the school environment, making it unsafe
for everyone. Janse van Rensburg and Raubenheimer examine, Educationally, bullying victims
have also been found to have negative perceptions of their school, avoid school, have adjustment
problems, and have lower academic achievement (26). It could be argued that, for certain
offenses, an educational repercussion would better serve the student rather than disciplinary
action.

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There isnt a widely adopted curriculum to teach children about the true meaning of
forgiveness and reconciliation. With the integration of restorative programs that will work to
prevent bullying through conflict resolution rather than disciplinary action, children who are
involved in bullying have a greater chance of recovering and growing from their experiences. In
an analysis of forgiveness as a coping mechanism for children, Flanagan et al. discussed the
relationship between forgiveness and positive coping skills, as well as the likelihood that
children who learn to practice forgiveness utilize these skills in every aspect of life throughout
adolescence and adulthood (1219). When a traumatic or otherwise life-changing experience
presents itself, a child needs a trustworthy guide to give them a better understanding of the
situation. It is imperative not only to help them feel safe, but to teach them how to respond with
forgiveness rather than react with ill will.
With the rising divorce rates, and in the number of children born into single-parent
households, the need for support has never been greater. Whats more is, children often get
dragged into the drama of divorce or other affairs, so much to the point that it affects them in
other aspects of their life. Weaver and Schofield confirm during and after a divorce, the family
dynamic changes in ways that children cant cope with unless provided the right environment
and understanding. Families experience financial crisis, and both parents can show depressive
and distressed behaviors, which drains their energy and ultimately takes important bonding time
away from their children. This is very stressful on children especially, and can even lead to
mental health issues (40). Out of feeling distressed or disappointed in their own family, a child
might project these negative and contentious feelings on their peers, ultimately making an unsafe
environment for all parties. This can result in the children associating school with negative
feelings, and can put stress on their academic and social capabilities. Research has identified

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divorce as a source of significant negative impact on academic achievement. Children who
experience divorce do not perform as well academically as their peers whose parents are not
divorced (Anthony, DiPerna, and Amato 250). This drastic change is certainly a cause for upset
in the lives of children who are affected by divorce, and academic anxiety is likely accompanied
by social or behavioral unrest. With these added tensions, schools must make adjustments to their
discipline policies to be more forgiving of offenses sparked by inner turmoil.
We have a role in determining how children grow into adults and find peace and
acceptance in their communities, therefore we must empower them with the education that will
make them resilient, responsive, and receptive. Suspensions and expulsions have become
commonplace in primary school, so much so that their effectiveness must be questioned.
Teaching children about forgiveness of the self and giving them an opportunity to succeed again
could be a more appropriate way to teach valuable lessons. In her doctoral dissertation
examining discipline policies in U.S. primary schools, Stacey Bloyard explains, Research
supports when adolescents feel cared for by people at school, they feel a part of their school and
are less likely to engage in behaviors that are subjected to disciplinary actions, and in criminal
activity or violence, sexual activity, or the use of illegal substances (23). Its unfortunate that
children are being exposed to punishments and repercussions that will affect them in their future,
especially when schools do little to get to the root of the problem and use that as a guide for
behavior adjustment strategies. Many times a school is suspending or expelling children who
might not have a stable home environment, and the child becomes further neglected because they
were made to stay home from school or attend a continuation school. On the opposite end of the
spectrum, a child who has a very supportive household environment may be subjected to further
punishment or animosity from their parents or guardians. Ultimately, this weakens the

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environment which should be providing a strict, yet supportive and dependable environment
during what might be a confusing time. The child should feel warmth and acceptance while also
being granted fair, understandable repercussions for their actions. (Boylard 23). Having children
participate in a variety of activities in which they practice the reflective process mixed with
mindfulness, understanding, and forgiveness is both engaging and educational. Demonstrating
situations of forgiveness or retaliation they have experienced in reality, thinking further about
those events, and determining the appropriate behavior in hindsight, will make understanding the
complexities of forgiveness more fluid.
KEY PLAYERS AND CRITICAL ANALYSIS

Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the National Forgiveness Institute, and a pioneer of
forgiveness research and education, has developed a multitude of educational curriculum based
on his scientific research. With respect to children, his lesson plans give perspectives on topics
like respect and empathy as they relate to forgiveness. After using his materials as a guide, most
teachers in Milwaukee and Madison, Wisconsin and overseas in Belfast, Ireland reported a
reduction in overall student anger and a simultaneous boost in academic achievement (Intl
Forgiveness Institute). Acting as a driving force to promote peace, Enrights books, videos, and
other educational materials have the power to benefit all students in every aspect of their lives.
We have a role in determining how children grow into adults and find peace and acceptance in
their communities, therefore we must empower them with the education that will make them
resilient, responsive, and receptive. While the International Forgiveness Institute prides itself on
keeping their materials current by building new teacher guides for each grade level every year, it
could be a financial burden to schools who can barely afford basic necessities. It is
understandable that the organization must make profits from the sales of their curriculum, but

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with the release of new materials so often, it would be incredibly difficult for underfunded
schools to keep up with the costs.
Although many extracurricular programs and activities are a financial burden on many
underfunded schools, there are also a number of privately funded organizations working to
combat that issue. There has been a recent increase in the U.S., especially in California, of
practicing mindfulness in schools. There are a number of small organizations, like MindfullyU,
working to incorporate the idea of mindfulness into everyday curriculum. Based out of Ventura,
California, MinfullyU has developed a program for high school students focused on practicing
stress reduction, the program is designed to help youth gain a clearer understanding of how their
thoughts and emotions impact their health and quality of life. With the right amount of funding,
and collaboration between teachers, researchers, and psychologists, small programs like these
could easily be integrated in all schools. One of the major setbacks small companies like these
face is the lack of awareness generated, and ultimately a lack of funds to further promote the
program. With the collaboration of all these programs and organizations who are already
working to achieve essentially the same goal, the resources gained and increased awareness
could potentially sustain a more progressive way of teaching and learning.

MY SOLUTION

Forgiveness is about a higher level of understanding, a higher level of connection with

ourselves and those around us. Unless we are shown this way of thinking, and challenged with
the opportunity to adopt those ideas and skills for ourselves, we will never benefit from the
wisdom there is to gain. Although this idea may never come to fruition unless everyone is on the
same page, and the only way to resolve that issue is through education and perseverance.
Concepts like neglect, abuse, forgiveness, and self-worth must be assigned universally accepted

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definitions. A curriculum based on the findings of researchers like Dr. Enright in conjunction
with organizations like MindfullyU is the answer to sharing this education. By pooling resources
we can raise awareness about the lack of forgiveness education through social media campaigns,
community events, and speaking at school assemblies. Once this idea transforms into a more
socially acceptable concept, forgiveness education could likely become mainstream in schools all
over the state, the nation, and eventually the world.
CREATIVE OUTLET - REAL WORLD APPLICATION

The San Francisco Bay Area is home to a plethora of cultures, and with the population
increasing and becoming increasingly diverse, the need for forgiveness education is vital. By
collecting research and existing educational materials to put together into a concise lesson plan is
something teachers can benefit greatly from. Forming an understandable, affordable curriculum
to distribute to private schools, after school programs, and otherwise extracurricular programs or
activities will educate while also raising awareness about lack of such education in public
schools. Creating a safe environment where children are encouraged to talk about personal
struggles and strides with forgiveness will help foster and sustain healthy communication and
coping skills.
Although defining forgiveness might be a challenging and complex topic to teach to
children, engaging curriculum filled with real stories of forgiveness can at least get the
conversation started. Internships or other school credit opportunities should also be offered to
students from Berkeley and Stanford in return for their speaking at community events and school
assemblies around the Bay Area. UC Berkeleys Greater Good Science Center and Stanfords
Forgive for Good program offer insight to the power and complexities of forgiveness. Projects
like these combined with the works of Dr. Enright and the educational concepts of MindfullyU
will raise awareness about the issue while also working to educate children and those who care

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for them. Not only can teachers benefit from lesson plans on forgiveness, but coaches, after
school program coordinators, and parents all have something to gain with the availability of this
curriculum. We have a role in determining how children grow into adults and find peace and
acceptance in their communities, therefore we must empower them with the education that will
make them resilient, responsive, and receptive.
In notable speeches past weve often heard that our children are the future. They are our
future educators, decision makers, and leaders. It is our job now to show them that there is
another way of living - in peace. By bringing together the research and work thats already been
done, and making it more easily available to schools, after school programs, and otherwise
development-focused programs for children, this knowledge could spread to an international
level. This education is about preventing some of the worst problems our communities, and the
world, face today. Preventing small but sinister attacks like gossiping and bullying to more
violent offenses like hate crimes, murder, and even war. Regardless of nationality, gender, or
economic status, everyone can benefit from learning and practicing forgiveness of self, others,
and circumstance.

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Works Cited
Anthony, Christopher J., DiPerna, James C., and Paul R. Amato. Divorce, Approaches to
Learning, and Childrens Academic Achievement: A Longitudinal Analysis of of
Mediated and Moderated Effects. Journal of School Psychology. 52
(2014): 249-261.
Bolyard, Stacey. (2014). Enacting Injustice: Dissonance Between Youth and Discipline
(Unpublished doctoral dissertation). California State University, East Bay,
Hayward,
California.
Child Maltreatment 2012. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for
Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families,
Childrens
Bureau, 2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.
Child Maltreatment. World Health Organization. n.p. December 2014. Web. 11 Jan. 2016.
Cowie, Helen, and Pat Colliery. Who Cares About the Bullies? Pastoral Care in Education.
34.1 (2016): 24-33. Web. 14 Jan. 2016.
Flanagan, Kelly S., Vanden Hoek, Kristin K., Ranter, Jennifer M., and Holly A. Reich. The
Potential of Forgiveness as a Response for Coping with Negative Peer
Experiences.
Journal of Adolescence. 35 (2012): 1215-1223. Web. 14 Jan. 2016.
International Forgiveness Institute. n.p. n.d. Web. 10 Feb. 2016.
Janse van Rensburg, Estie, and Jacques Raubenheimer. Does Forgiveness Mediate the
Impact of School Bullying on Adolescent Mental Health? Journal of Child and
Adolescent Mental Health. 27.1 (2015): 25-39. Web. 11 Jan. 2016.
Mindfully You. Bent Wings, Inc. n.p. n.d. Web. 10 Feb. 2016.
Weaver, Jennifer, and Thomas Schofield. Mediation and Moderation of Divorce Effects on
Childrens Behavior Problems. Journal of Family Psychology. 29.1 (2015): 3948. Web.
14 Jan. 2016.