VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUIDES

FACULTY OF ENGLISH TEACHER EDUCATION

TÔ THỊ HUYỀN THƯƠNG

A VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CROSS-CULTURAL

STUDY ON DATING ATTITUDES AMONG COLLEGE
STUDENTS

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE

OF BACHELOR OF ARTS (TEFL)

Hanoi, May – 2010

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI
 UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUIDES
FACULTY OF ENGLISH TEACHER EDUCATION

TÔ THỊ HUYỀN THƯƠNG

A VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CROSS- CULTURAL

STUDY ON DATING ATTITUDES AMONG COLLEGE
STUDENTS

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE

OF BACHELOR OF ARTS (TEFL)

SUPERVISOR: NGUYỄN THỊ THƠM THƠM, MA.

Hanoi, May – 2010

 ACCEPTANCE PAGE
I hereby state that I: Tô Thị Huyền Thương, group 061E8, being a candidate
for the degree of Bachelor of Arts (TEFL) accept the requirements of the College
relating to the retention and use of Bachelor's Graduation Paper deposited in the
library.
In terms of these conditions, I agree that the origin of my paper deposited in
the library should be accessible for the purposes of study and research, in
accordance with the normal conditions established by the librarian for the care,
loan or reproduction of the paper.

Signature

Date
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to express my sincere gratitude to a number of people without
whose encouragement, contribution, and cooperation, this study would not have
been fulfilled.
Firstly, I would like to send my deepest thanks to Ms. Nguyen Thi Thom
Thom MA, my supervisor for her whole-hearted support, valuable advice, and great
enthusiasm, which have helped me to accomplish this research.
Secondly, my heartfelt thankfulness also goes to my friend, Nguyen Thi Nhan, for
helping me enthusiastically deliver my survey questionnaire to her American
friends, which greatly contribute to the validity of collected data.
Thirdly, I also owe a favor to some of my friends, Jeremy Avery, Rebecca
Arnow, Jonathan Skinner, Alejandra Cordovez and James Fox for devotedly
answering my interview questions and generously contributing to the aptness of
the data collection instruments.
I also would like to give my special thanks to both Vietnamese and
international friends who spent their precious time completing my survey
questionnaire and giving me constructive ideas for my project.
Last but not least, I wish to express my profound gratefulness to my family,
without whose continuous support and unconditional love, I could not complete my
graduation paper.
 ABSTRACT
The purpose of this study is to explore patterns of dating attitudes among
American and Vietnamese college students, which helps to compare and contrast
dating attitudes of students from two different cultures. Thanks to that, the
reflection of American and Vietnamese cultures in dating among students is
discussed.
The researcher analyzes data collected by using survey questionnaire from
32 students (16 males and 16 females) from each country and by employing semi-
structured interviews with 5 students from each culture.
The study presents typical dating attitudes of American and Vietnamese
students and gives deep insight into marked similarities and differences between
these two groups of students. Finally, the research discusses cultural reflection of
uncovered outcome.
By offering thorough understanding of dating attitudes among students from
two different cultures, the paper is expected to help students avoid conflicts or
breakdown of relationships which might be caused by cultural misunderstanding,
and then improve their communication skills.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
Acknowledgements…………………………………………………………..i
Abstract………………………………………………………………………ii
Lists of charts………………………………………………………………...iii

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION
1.1. Statement of the problem and rationale for the study…………………..1
1.2. Aims and objectives of the study……………………………………….2
1.3. Significance of the study………………………………………………..2
1.4. Scope of the study………………………………………………………3
1.5. Methodology……………………………………………………………3
1.6. Organization of the study……………………………………………….4

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1. Definition of dating…………………………………………………….5
2.2. History of dating…………………...…………………………………...7
2.3. Dating as a part of relationship………………………………………...11
2.4. Typical features of dating ……………………………………………..12
2.4.1. Structures of dating………………………………………………...12
2.4.2. Functions of dating………………………………………………..12
2.4.3. Stages of dating……………………………………………………13
2.4.4. Types of dating……………………………………………………14
2.4.5 Purposes of dating………………………………………………..15
2.5. Review of related studies……………………………………………..17
2.5.1. Dating attitude in American culture…………………………….17
2.5.2. Dating attitude in Vietnamese culture………………………….19

CHAPER 3: METHODOLOGY
3.1. Participants and participant selection method………………………22
3.2. Data collection instruments…………………………………………22
3.2.1. The questionnaire……………………………………………….23
3.2.2 The interview…………………………………………………….23
3.3. Data collection procedures…………………………………………24
3.4. Data analysis procedures…………………………………………...24

CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

4.1. Vietnamese's responses…………………………………………….26
4.2. American's responses……………………………………………….41
4.3. Similarities and differences between Vietnamese
and American students' dating attitude………………………………….59
4.3.1. Similarities……………………………………………………….59
4.3.2. Differences……………………………………………………..61

CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION
5.1. Summary of findings……………………………………………….71
5.1.1. Research question 1……………………………………………71
5.1.2. Research question 2……………………………………………73
5.1.3. Research question 3…………………………………………...73
5.2. Implication………………………………………………………...74
5.3. Limitation of the study……………………………………………76
5.4. Recommendation for further studies………………………………76
 LISTS OF CHARTS
Chart 1.a. VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them
Chart 2.a. VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than
them
Chart 3.a. Best age to have first date in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 4.a. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 5.a. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese students'
attitudes
Chart 6.a. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 7.a. VNese students' behavior when they like someone
Chart 8.a. VNese students' behavior when the person they like contacts them
Chart 9.a. VNese students' response to an invitation to a date
Chart 10.a. VNese students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused
Chart 11.a. Best topic on dates in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 12.a. Punctuality on dates in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 13.a. Best dating place in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 14.a. Dating expense payment in VNese students' attitudes
Chart 15.a. VNese students' dating purposes
Chart 1.b. American students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than
them
Chart 2.b. American students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than
them
Chart 3.b. Best age to have first date in American students' attitudes
Chart 4. b1. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American female students'
attitudes
Chart 4.b2. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American male students'
attitudes
Chart 5.b. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in American students'
attitudes
Chart 6.b. Best way to invite somebody out in American students' attitudes
Chart 7.b. American students' behaviors when they like someone
Chart 8.b. American students' behavior when the person they like contacts them
Chart 9.b. American students' response to an invitation to a date
Chart 10.b. American students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused
Chart 11.b. Best topic on dates in American students' attitudes
Chart 12.b. Punctuality on dates in American students' attitudes
Chart 13.b. Best dating place in American students' attitudes
Chart 14.b. Dating expense payer in American students' attitudes
Chart 15.b. Amerian students' dating purposes
Chart 16. The most atttractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese and American
female students' dating attitudes
Chart 17. Punctuality on dates in Vietnamese and American students' attitudes
Chart 18. Dating a much older person in VNese and American students' dating
attitudes
Chart 19. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese and American students' dating
attitudes
Chart 20. Best dating places in VNese and American male students' attitudes
Chart 21. Dating expense payer in VNese and American students' attitudes
Chart 22. Dating purposes of VNese and American female students
 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION
1.1. Statement of the problem and rationale for the study:
Student lives involve a lot of socialization to broaden their friends’ network.
Some people are looking for someone to hang out with and date, some are looking
for more friends and others are seeking for a long term, serious relationship. Their
intentions vary among students. However, this paper only aims at studying dating
in college campus. As being widely understood, a date occurs when two persons
who are attracted to one another arrange to do something together and spend some
time interacting, to get better acquainted. College is one of the easiest periods of
time to meet potential dating partners. Indeed, many couples do find lasting
relationships and even marriage when they are in college. Therefore, it is obviously
important for students to know well about dating attitudes in college campus to
improve their relationships and make them flourish. Moreover, the time students
spend dating at college can help them realize what they need from a relationship
and they will no doubt learn valuable lessons from their experiences to create a
stable foundation for their future lives. Learning the opposite sex’s attitudes,
behaviors and expectations towards dating partners also helps students feel
confident and comfortable with their current relationships; hence, they can balance
studying with their social life well.
Decades ago, several studies on dating focused on functions, types, desired
characteristics of dating partners and premarital sex behavior. Dating functions
include recreation, companionship, mate selection and socialization (Knox, D., &
Wilson, K., 1981) whereas types of dating include playing the field, steady dating
and engagement (McDaniel, 1973). However, it is surprising that recently few
researchers have explored the attitudes of male and female students on college
campus. Added to that, the similarities and differences about dating among
different cultures also seem to be neglected although students studying abroad
should be aware of these things to lead a better student life in the target country.
Because of the necessity of knowing dating information among college students
and the lack of studies on these aspects of this issue, the present study on “A
Vietnamese- American cross-cultural study on dating attitudes among college
students” is carried out with the hope to supplement the previous related studies.

1.2. Aims and objectives of the study:

Generally speaking, this study is an attempt to not only help college students
understand more about their own viewpoint towards dating but also their dating
partners’ ways of thinking. Additionally, students from American and Vietnamese
culture can have a deeper look at an interesting aspect of culture and gain more
knowledge about this issue to enrich their communication skills. The researcher
also hopes that the study helps American students learning in Vietnam and vice
versa be able to avoid culture shock when it comes to dating.
To be clearer, objectives of the study are focused on the following research
questions:
1. What are attitudes of American and Vietnamese students in terms of dating
age, attraction, topics, contacting behaviors, punctuality on dates, dating
places, dating expense payment and dating purposes?
2. What are the similarities and differences of dating attitudes among American
and Vietnamese students?
3. What cultural factors affecting these differences can be drawn out?

1.3. Significance of the study

The study can show typical dating attitudes of two student groups from two
countries, and then provide discussion on cultural reflection of the revealed dating
attitudes. This research is expected to help students gain mutual understanding
among two genders so that they can not only improve their communication skills
but also strengthen relationships, especially relationships within campus. The study
also serves as an useful material for students studying abroad to get to know more
about common attitudes and behaviors in target country, since then they can adapt
themselves to new environment more easily. Moreover, the result of this paper can
be used as reference for cross-cultural communication classes and for future
related-studies.

1.4. Scope of the study

The researcher realizes that “dating attitudes” issue is not only extensive but
also complicated. Therefore, conducting it largely in participants and scale is
difficult and unpractical. Within the limited knowledge and the scope of a
graduation paper done by a fourth- year student, the researcher would like to find
outstanding attitudes given by two student groups- American and Vietnamese ones
and then discuss cultural factors affecting the revealed result. Some of participants
who are American students were approached at several tourist attractions around
Hanoi such as Museum of Ethnology, Temple of Literature and Sword Lake.
Others studying in US colleges and universities received the questionnaire via
email to overcome the obstacles caused by long geographical distance.

1.5. Methodology
With the purpose of collecting appropriate and reliable data for the paper,
these following instruments are employed:
Questionnaire: The author designs a survey questionnaire for American and
Vietnamese students to collect data for the research because this is an easy and
convenient way to get appropriate data; moreover, it is time-saving for both the
researcher and the informants.
Interview: A short interview is conducted with five students from each country to
get more information about the issue and some more explanations for their own
choice in the questionnaire.
Synthesizing and analyzing: The collected data is synthesized and analyzed using
charts in terms of Vietnamese’s responses and American’s responses. After that,
some marked similarities and differences are drawn out basing on previous results.

1.6. Organization of the study

The paper is organized into 5 chapters. Chapter 1 gives brief introduction of
the research, which includes of rationale, aims, scope, significance, method and
organization of the study. Chapter 2 provides theoretical background of the studied
issue and reviews previous related studies. Chapter 3 presents methods and the
procedure which the researcher follows to collect and analyze data. Chapter 4
offers findings of the research, discussion about these findings and draw
similarities and differences between two cultures as well as cultural factors leading
to the outcome. Chapter 5 summarizes main results of the research and gives
implication, limitation of the study and lastly, provides recommendations for
further studies. The last chapter is followed by references and appendices.
 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW
2.1. Definition of dating
As commonly understood, dating is the time when two people want to know
more about each other and they begin to go out, join some activities together. This
is called a romantic relationship. However, not everybody can find out the right
person to build a deeper relationship after several first dating.
Dunham (2006, p.2) states that dating begins the moment somebody decides
that he/ she wants to find a romantic relationship with someone, followed by the
process of identifying that person. She also defines dating as specific activities that
someone carries out to find new people and the process of getting to know them.
Dating can consist of many emotions and feelings. One may experience the
feelings of anticipation or suspense when dating for the first time. This is easy to
understand because the attraction between two sexes never mitigate and often
involve curiousness.
From Dunham’s point of view, “however exciting and fun dating can be, it is
also process of personal selection”. We are judging others and they are judging us.
We cannot select everyone we meet as our special partner, so dating is also an
activity of elimination (moving on from those who we are not interested in and who
are not interested in us) as well as selection (finding mutual interest). Even when
we really fall for someone, somewhere in the dating process we may discover that
we are not right for each other. Uncertainty, disappointment, dissatisfaction and
sometimes sorrow can also partly involve in the process. But then there is the
moment when we realize we have met the person we want- the one we have been
dreaming of- and she/he feels the same about us. Dating gives us the opportunities
to experience our option until we find that special person.
Colmer, R.S. & Thomas, T.M. (2005, p.16) share the same idea with
Dunham in defining dating that a date is when two people gather for a certain
amount of time on a certain day (with advance notice and advance planning) for
the purpose of doing something special, together. Additionally, Colmer and
Thomas consider a way of saying thank you for a favor or a delicate step when
dancing in a courtship also a date. They emphasize that dating is all about
communication.
When it comes to the issue of dating, Rabens, S. (2001, p.59) defines it by
dividing dating into small processes chronologically. According to him, dating is
the social process by which two people meet, interact, and pair off as a couple. In
first steps, dating provides companionship, as well as a vehicle for entertainment
and recreation. Over the course of time, dating has become a social means for
individuals to learn more about themselves and how they are perceived by others,
who observes their strengths as well as weaknesses. Dating also teaches the
importance of sharing and enables individuals to experience love and sexual
activity within limits. Finally, dating is the process through which one may
ultimately select a marriage partner.
On the base of collected ideas from researchers and authors, the researcher
shares the common idea on the way dating is defined that dating involves different
steps to varied extents. The dating relationship experiences ups and downs over
periods of time two people spend together. More importantly, the author wants to
put the term “dating” used in this paper in the light of cross- cultural
communication. Dating is actually a means of communication and communication
during dating is what makes or breaks the relationship. Besides, it is undeniable
that dating attaches to traditions and customs. Dating represents a reflection of
cultural beliefs and practices. Different culture orientations may play a role in
shaping differences in dating attitudes. Therefore, some typical dating attitude of
college students from two different cultures will be surveyed to compare and
contrast the similarities and differences between American and Vietnamese points
of view. Finally, the results will help to draw out cultural factors affecting the
uncovered attitude.
2.2. History of dating
While some dating attitudes have remained fairly constant over time, others
have changed considerably. Firstly, the researcher would like to have a look dating
throughout American history.
Whyte, M. K. (1990, p. 17) analyzes changes of dating chronologically in 4
stages: the early 1990s, the twenties, world war II and the twenty- first century.
According to him, the United States at the turn of the 20th century was a
nation experiencing great change. Industrialization caused social changes, which
impacted teenagers' growth. New ideologies and traditions came. As a result,
attitude about such topics as dating and courtship, the concept of romantic love,
and gender issue was taken much consideration.
Whyte, M. K. (1990) also states that the 20th century was the turning point
because most American and European cultures set themselves free from rigid
Victorian attitude about sex. Victorianism reflected a time when sex was regarded
as a taboo. Many people avoided talking about sex and tried to pretend that sexual
desire did not exist.
After that, “Roaring twenties” was a bright and exciting decade in American
history. Great economic opportunity attracted millions of immigrants from abroad.
Americans saw an easier and better life ahead of them. They witnessed further
liberation from Victorian sexual limitation, and they experienced a revolution in
morals and manners. Women, in particular, achieved new level of autonomy and
freedom. Women's sexual rights were being increasingly recognized. The image of
the shy, dependent, and passive women was being eroded.
Parental control over relationship lessened considerably, and the time of
arranged marriages was over. Women experienced much more freedom in selecting
a mate. The concept of romantic love was appeared and widely used.
 During the Great Depression, dating was often interrupted as families
frequently moved around the country to find any kind of work they could. Most
simply could not afford for dating activities, and no expenditures for entertainment
and recreational activities.
Whyte, M. K. (1990) also discusses about impact of dating during World
War II (1941- 1945). The war separated lovers for extended periods of time, which
helped to examine relationships’ durability and partners’ fidelity. Many women
seemed more independent. Men serving in the armed force came in contact with
women from other nations. At home, female met increasing number of dating
partners, many from different parts of United States. In short, both men and
women met dating partners from different walks of life. This led to various dating
regardless of multicultural differences.
The post war dating scene reflected the wealthy of the time. Dating and
courtship in the United States seemed to reflect the up-lifted spirit of the nation.
American began to exhibit more curiosity about the topic of sex and a desire to
learn more about its many sides.
The sexual revolution succeeded in creating a new era of adolescent dating
and sexual behavior. Dating partners tended to be more sharing and there is
equality in gender roles. Improved birth control methods during the sexual
revolution also contributed to increase in adolescent sexual activity.
Today the youth starts dating at much earlier age than before, around 13 or
14 years old. Most of dates are informal and not well-structured. They are more
relaxed and free.
Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, a lot of means of
entertainment, especially media have greatly bad impact on the youth. Zinn, H.
(2002) maintains that the media has too much sexually suggestive content, which
provides teens with examples of provocative behavior.
 Compared to previous generations, teenagers of the 21st century have
different ways to establish contacts with their friends and dating partners, such as
cell phones, pagers and internet. They always find fun in joining chat rooms to
meet different people and create cyberspace relationships. Such relationships are
not uncommon among teens, and they will easily be led to pornographic sites,
which are really harmful to both mental and physical health.
Similarly, dating in Vietnam has certain features changing over time whereas
some others remain to be the same.
Dating three generations ago was a very different matter than it is today.
Rabens, S. (2001) states that in Vietnam and most of other societies, in the past,
young women were never allowed to be outside alone. The presence of parents
always involved in the dating scene and they did not have their private time.
Therefore, getting to know someone was a very slow process. Couples used to join
some dating activities in public places or wherever there were many people around
such as daylight walks, concerts or some cultural events. At that time, even in some
parts of Vietnamese society, fathers selected grooms for their daughters, and
couples barely dated before they were married.
However, some outstanding changes in the style of dating now are
discovered by Colmer, R. S. and Thomas, T. M. (2005). They point out that dating
turns to be more fun and when dating, people care little about marriage. Changes in
people’s habits and beliefs are seen. There are plenty of ways to meet new people
such as dating and matchmaking services, clubs, festivals, and the Internet.
Therefore, men and women have more chances to get to know more friends and
this can easily lead to more intimate relationship. A lot of women now ask men out
and this is more popular than ever. They are also more open about sex in
conversations.
Although some aspects of dating have changed, much of it remains the same.
Colmer, R. S. and Thomas, T. M. (2005) also help readers see ways in which
dating has stayed the same. No matter when dating happens, it always involves
anxieties and challenges. Specifically, when a person wants to date someone,
he/she really worries about how to ask somebody out, what if he/she says no, how
to get to know him/her better, etc. It is true for dating at all times. What is more,
one typical feature of the youth is the desire to experience new things, so they
always find fun to meet new people. It is also undeniable that creating and
maintaining healthy relationships takes much time and effort, regardless of how
open-minded the youth nowadays is and how fast the pace of life moves.
In short, we can see that both in American and Vietnamese history, dating
has changed and unchanged aspects. However, in America, dating seems to
experience much more rapid changes than in Vietnam. From World War II,
American were more open about their relationship, especially dating. Ultimately,
after the sexual revolution, a new era for dating and sexual relationship came as a
chance for the youth to reveal all their feelings and their utmost private emotions.
Meanwhile, in Vietnam, the changing process in dating practice has developed
quite slowly. Just 50 years ago, Vietnamese couples were still closely supervised
by their parents. Therefore, lack of privacy led to reserved romantic relationships.
On the contrary, from 1900s, parental control was lessened in America. Having a
deep look at the history of dating in two different cultures, the researcher aims at
studying more about dating practice nowadays to see how different dating is from
then and now. Additionally, there were a few studies whose subjects are college/
university students, so this paper can serve to examine dating practice in general
and dating attitudes in particular among students to fulfill various aspects of this
issue.

2.3. Dating as a part of relationship

 Scientific study of love, marriage and relationship was not very popular half
century ago. However, now it changes with a wide variety of description, theory
and research because this issue catches attention of scientists.
Pack, D. C. (2007) divides relationship into four stages: dating, courtship,
engagement, and marriage. Dating is viewed as casual, with little intention towards
marriage. Courtship, could be called serious dating, begins as soon as love is
declared or there are intentions towards the future. Then come engagement and
marriage. However, the sex revolution resulted in the fact that many chose living
together instead of getting marriage.
Knapp (1984) develops a different way of dividing the life cycle of
relationship into parts. They are two main parts: coming together and coming apart.
Coming together includes initiating, experimenting (finding common interests),
intensifying (express feelings), integrating (identify with each other) and bonding
(making formal commitments). Coming apart involves differentiating (seeing
personal differences), circumscribing (separating out individual privacy),
stagnating (expressing boredom) and terminating.
The way Brown, N. M. and Amatea, E. S. (2000) divides relationship is to
focus more on developmental processes. In their viewpoint, a relationship has 6
stages: initiating, dating, being in love, deepening, decay, and terminating.
This research views dating as the last division because it is clear and easily
recognized by the majority of people.

2.4 Typical features of dating

2.4.1. Structures of dating
A date begins when two people have an appointment in a specific time and
place. They arrange to do something together with the purpose of spending some
time communicating with each other and then getting to know more about the
other. Rouse, L. (2002) states that dates have a beginning, middle and an end.
When one person asks the other out, they come to agreement about time and place
to meet and that is called the beginning of a date. Activities they spend time doing
together are the middle of a date. Some activities can be named as going to the
cinema, having dinner, going for a walk, having a drink, going to bar, etc. At the
end of the date, the two say goodbye to each other. Depending on different
cultures, they can just say goodbye or send a goodnight kiss or shake hands or hug.
They can show to be more intimate if during the date, they find common interest
and compatibility. For some, they end the date by committing about another date.
2.4.2. Functions of dating
As defined, functions are the purposes served by a specific social structure.
Dating is a social activity which brings about quite a lot of advantages for
individuals in particular and for the whole society in general. According to Rouse,
L. (2002), mate choice is the demand of almost all individuals and dating is a step
helping to improve mate selection. Throughout dating, one can choose the right
person to spend time with, to share feelings and emotions. Secondly, dating
provides an opportunity to develop social skills. Dating assists those involving in
dating with learning from mistakes and preparing well for conflicts or troubles as
obstacles which are inevitable in their future marriage. By dating, they can get to
know more about others and understand better about human psychology so that
they have time to adjust themselves, and improve their personality. To society,
dating is a big business. Couples consume more to support their dating activities.
They have meals together, buy more clothing, and use some services for
entertainment. Moreover, it is true that some producers target at couples to develop
their products and services such as cheap price for two sim cards, discount on two
airline tickets/ traveling tours for pairs. This show that couples are their potential
consumers who can bring great profits for some specific products and services.
2.4.3. Stages of dating
 In the article “Understanding the five stages of dating”, Gray, J. (2010)
provides a five-step approach of dating as clear guidelines to help in finding the
right partner easily. They are named attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy,
engagement. In the first stage, one finds himself attracted to someone and wants to
involve in the relationship a little more. He/ she will hope to have opportunity to
spend more time with the other. Next, one may feel uncertain about the
relationship that whether the partner is a right match for them or not. Even when
we really love someone, there are still moments we feel a little worried about
whether we are going on the right way or not. This stage is quite necessary because
it shows that the individuals really take the relationship seriously. In exclusivity
stage, the relationship develops better. It is when the two people “have made a
mutual decision to be in a committed, exclusive relationship”. They are in a
romantic love and they are ready for a long-term relationship. The next stage called
intimacy is when the two people feel really comfortable about each other. After
learning a lot about the partner, they are free to share more private feelings and
show different sides of their characteristics. Engagement is the last stage. At this
time, the couples come to the decision that they are right for each other and the
relationship develop more and more. They can even think of marriage and their
future life.
Gu, C. (2010) shares exactly the same ideas with that way of dividing dating
into 5 stages: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy and engagement. In his
article, he lists dating activities clearly in each specific phase and there are some
certain common opinions on this issue between Gu, C. and Gray, J. (2010).
This way of defining dating stages is seen once again in the article "Stages of
dating" written by Hagy, C. (2010), but the writer names the stages a little
differently. They are attraction, getting to know each other, becoming exclusive,
exchanging intimacy, and preparing for the future.
 In conclusion, this is considered to be a logical and scientific way to divide
dating stages and the researcher also wishes to view dating in this paper in that
common way.
2.4.4. Types of dating
Different types of dating can vary depending on many factors. In terms of the
length of time the two people have been together, there are two different levels of
dating: casual dating and serious dating. They can be known with the term short-
term and long-term relationship. Casual dating means that when someone tries to
find a date, he/she look for a person to join for dinner, go to the theater or just
spend some time with or have sex without or little affection. The second level is
serious dating. The dates that they go on may be more romantic and intimate. They
date only each other and start referring each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. In
this type of relationship, a couple may begin introducing each other their friends
and families. (As cited from http://www.ehow.com)
Another type of dating relationship is online dating, in which people date via
internet. They often chat to get to know each other online before meeting face-to-
face. Many people can find their right match by this way.
Speed dating is a term used in modern time. Speed dating was created by Los
Angeles Rabbi Yaacov Deyo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating ). There are
companies or centres all over the country that sponsor different types of speed
dating. They hold dating session which usually lasts from three to ten minutes, and
one can meet lots of people in such a short amount of time, sometimes it is up to
twenty people in one session.
Some of us may hear the phrase "blind dating". According to Colmer, R. S.
and Thomas, T. M. (2005), blind dating means two people do not know each other
until they come to the first date. This type of dating is more and more popular
because the demand of communicating and broadening relationship is increasing.
 As far as sexuality preferences of the two people are concerned, there are
two types of dating, which are heterosexuality and homosexuality. A heterosexual
person is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. In contrast, a homosexual
person is sexually attracted to people of the same sex.
In the scope of this paper, when the term dating is mentioned, it means face-
to- face dating, in which two people meet each other in person in a specific time
and place. It can be casual dating or serious dating, but not speed, blind or online
dating. Added to that, the research is conducted on heterosexual relationships
among college students because the majority of people engage in this type of
relationship, therefore the results may be widely applicable.
2.4.5 Purposes of dating
When we ask someone why they date, we can get numerous reasons such as
to entertain, to understand more about their partners, to learn well about the
opposite sex, to heal a broken heart, to please their parents, to be like other people,
etc.
According to McComb, A. (2006), purposes of dating can be categorized
into three groups: socialization (to develop appropriate social skills and to practice
getting along with others in different settings), recreation (to have fun and enjoy
companionship of others, and to try new and different activities) and mate selection
(to see others in many different settings, and to compare the personality and
characteristics of many people).
Chapman, G. (2004) analyses six main purposes of dating. The first one is
“developing wholesome interactions with the opposite sex”. He supposes that half
of the world is made up of individuals of the opposite sex, so if we cannot build
relationship with them, we completely fail to interact with half of the world. This
leads to limited relationship networks and failure in many other aspects of life.
Dating serves as an important tool in helping this thing because it provides setting
for such interaction. Therefore, some people choose dating to communicate,
interact, and improve their social skills in dealing with different people, especially
the opposite sex. The second purpose mentioned is “learning about the person,
personality, and philosophy”. Dating is obviously an opportunity for couples to
know more about each other. They can discover the name of their partners, the
nature of their personalities, their philosophies towards life. Learning about others
somehow helps daters adjust and improve their own characteristics. Chapman, G.
(2004) also shows that nowadays society increasingly pushes people to live isolated
and isolation has brought us to growing levels of loneliness, emptiness, and
sometimes desperation. Therefore, dating is important because it gives us a means
of connecting with others and eliminating isolation. “Seeing our strengths and
weaknesses” is another purpose of dating. Understanding various personality traits
while dating brings us greater self-understanding. We know which traits of us are
valuable, which should be avoided. This knowledge is a vital step for us to gain
personal growth.
Some other people date for the purpose of serving others. When we date
someone, we take something but we also have to give something else. We
contribute to the life of someone whom we are dating. Being in a relationship with
someone also requires us to be truthful, even when we have to tell partners their
weaknesses, because this helps the two people become better. We can see that
serving people sometimes is not an easy thing to do and dating can help us being
better at this and become a desirably reliable person. The last purpose of dating
stated by Chapman, G. (2004) is “discovering the person we will marry”. Dating is
a chance for us to gain a realistic idea of the kind of person we need as a marriage
partner. Dating people with different personalities gives us criteria for making wise
judgments. Those who date more people will have more experience in choosing a
future partner. Dating provides settings and context to exploring each other's
hobbies, habits, values, etc. Afterwards, one can know the other is compatible to
him/her or not.
 In general, these are dating purposes of people at all ages and backgrounds.
The writer hypothesizes that people at different range of age and from different
backgrounds would certainly view dating in variety of ways, which may lead to
wide-ranging dating aims. Thus, the researcher wishes to study dating purposes
among people at my same age because the results may uncover some interesting
aspects of students.

2.5. Review of related studies

2.5.1. Dating attitude in American culture
Different cultural backgrounds certainly lead to different dating attitudes. In
America, in terms of places for dating, there are changes from past to present.
Couples in the early 1900s often met on the front porch of their parents’ home. By
the 1920s, they increasingly moved from the private to the public places such as
theaters, restaurants, dance halls, and so on (Coontz, 1993). From 1920s to about
1960s, dating was traditionally considered as the dominant mode of courtship or
mate selection. In traditional dating, men usually asked for dates, spent the money
on dates, dominated conversations, initiated touching and sex. On the other hand,
women waited to be asked.
However, now the situation is different. It is accepted for both men and
women to ask someone out on a date. Women perform more actively and
powerfully in heterosexual dating relationships than before. (As stated in
http://www.ecu.edu/Intlaffairs/americanculture.cfm#3)
Additionally, women in the United States may appear to be friendly and
open-minded than women in other countries. Nevertheless, it is wrong to suppose
that a woman goes on a date means she will be ready for sexual activity.
What about paying for dates? After the 1970s, with the rise of the women’s
movement, men and women are more likely to split the costs of a date (Rodriguez,
J. E., 2006). Sharing dating expenses empowers women in a dating relationship.
Most dates with college students are "Dutch", which means that each person pays
for his or her own expenses. It is even considered polite for the person who is
invited to offer to pay.
When it comes to dating age, according to a survey conducted in 1990,
approximately 90% of males and 88% of females had their first dating experience
by the age of 16 (Thornton, 1990). There are very few or almost no recent studies
which are conducted on dating age. Moreover, dating age will surely change over
periods of time, so it is necessary to have a study on these specific aspects of
dating.
In terms of purposes of dating, Whyte, M. K. (1990) states that for
adolescents who have just started dating, dating may be seen as a fun thing to help
them entertain. “Dating, especially group dating or hanging out, is a way to test
one’s attraction to the opposite sex and have fun”. Whyte, M. K. (1990) and
Thornton, A. (1990) find out that individuals are not motivated to date those who
might be compatible with them, but those who are considered as a “good date” or a
“desirable date” by peers.
In American dating culture, it is assumed that length of dating experience,
variety in dating partners, and the extent of premarital intimacy are useful
preparations for a successful marriage (Whyte, 1990). According to this argument,
individuals who have gained more dating experience and higher level of premarital
intimacy will be able to make better choices about their marriages.
Come to discuss about premarital intimacy, there has been growing approval
of premarital sex in American dating culture (Turner, 2003). In the early 20th
century, virginity was seen as a vital factor for a “good marriage” for women
(Bailey, 1989). At that time, girls who engaged in premarital sex were called “easy
girls”. For men, they often looked for easy girls to have fun with, but when it was
time to choose a wife, they usually turned to one of the virgin girls. (Turner, 2003)
 Nowadays, we can see considerable change in people’s attitudes towards
women’s virginity and premarital sex. Young women are generally not expected to
be virgin at marriage anymore (Rodriguez, J. E., 2006). Women now can engage in
sexual activity before getting married because it does not matter anymore.
2.5.2. Dating attitude in Vietnamese culture
In the past, Vietnamese males and females were not allowed to date. They
lived with their parents until they become adults at the age of 18 or 20 or even
more than that. Afterwards, they would have an arranged marriage and then built a
new family. At that time, children always obeyed their parents' teaching and
arrangement.
However, today Vietnamese parents become more open-minded. They allow
their sons and daughters to have time to get to know others and make their own
choice for the future partner. But the public displays of affection in Vietnam are
still extremely different from that in US.
Whereas sexuality is overwhelmed in American media and entertainment,
porn movies, nudity magazines and dirty shows are strictly banned in Vietnam.
Issues relating to sex are seen as private and personal things, which lead to the fact
that Vietnamese people are often shy of talking about sex. They may be considered
to be rude or impolite talking about this in public. Therefore, in Vietnam, those
who engage sexual activity when dating is viewed as spoiled people. Even though
there is an increase in number of young people doing this these days, the exact
number is never reported because they are still afraid of social norms.
Talking about sexual activity in dating, it is also the matter of different
expectations from each partner. In US, there are a lot of terms for dates such as hot
dates, blind dates, instant dates, etc. It shows that American people take dating as the
simplest thing. Generally speaking, large proportions of Americans have physically
contact with someone before they become emotionally attracted to that person. They
can hold hands, hug, kiss or even having sex, all of which are very normal, on first
dates. However, in Vietnam, couples only hold hands when they know well about
each other. Most of them take their dating seriously. (according to
http://www.vietnamadventures.com/dating.html)
As for parent influence, Vietnamese youth seems to be under stricter control
of their parents than American youth. Vietnamese parents like to set rules for nearly
everything relating to their children's romantic relationship. Although things have
been more open and adolescents are more liberate during the last couple of years,
parents' rules are still quite tight. These rules often include of attire, dating places,
amount of time for a date, dating activities, and dating manners. (according to
http://www.vietmedia.com/culture/?L=dating.html)
After studying intensively related researches, I can see that learning the
opposite sex’s attitude, behaviors and expectations towards dating partners helps
students feel confident and comfortable with their current relationships; hence, they
can balance studying with their social life well. However, most of studies on dating
attitude, which focuses on dating age, places, topics and purposes, were carried out
decades ago. Recently, very few researchers have explored the attitude of male and
female students on college campus. Added to that, the similarities and differences
about dating among different cultures also seem to be neglected although students
studying abroad should be aware of these things to lead a better student life in the
target country. Therefore, I conduct a study on “A comparison on dating attitude
among American and Vietnamese college students” with the hope to supplement the
previous related studies. I choose to gain data by delivering questionnaire to
American and Vietnamese students because it is a quick and easy way to collect data
in the most objective way. After that, I conduct some interviews with some of
participants to make clear ambiguous points and get to know more about specific
situations in dating.
 CHAPER 3: METHODOLOGY
3.1. Participants and participant selection method:
The study aims at comparing dating attitudes among American and
Vietnamese students; therefore, the informants selected are students from colleges
and universities in America and Vietnam. Due to limited social contacts of the
researcher, only 32 students (16 males, 16 females) from each country engaged in
answering a set of questionnaire. What is more, a semi-structured interview was
conducted with 5 students from each country to get additional information which
could not be gathered by the questionnaire. Those participants were picked up
randomly no matter which major they are studying and how many years they have
finished at colleges so that they can serve as representatives for these two student
communities.

3.2. Data collection instruments:

Both the survey questionnaires and the semi-structured interview were made
use of to collect data serving for dealing with the research questions for their
obvious prominent characteristics. “Measure gained from usability questionnaire is
to large extent, quick and independent of the system, users, or tasks to which the
questionnaire was applied” (Jurek, K.,2000, p.2). The study is on dating issue of
American and Vietnamese students; hence, one set of questionnaire was designed
in English for American and another was Vietnamese translation version for
Vietnamese to avoid the possibility of misunderstanding or ambiguity.
Furthermore, a semi- structured interview was conducted for the fact that it
“allows the participants to describe what are meaningful to them on their own
words rather than being restricted to predetermined categories” (Milne, J., 2006,
p.25). The purpose of this semi-structured interview was to make clearer specific
situations in their dating experiences; simultaneously the writer also would like to
observe their visible mood and attitudes when they retold their own circumstances.
3.2.1. The questionnaire:
The questionnaire was structured with 15 multiple choice questions which
aimed at investigating students’ dating attitude. In details, the writer collected data
from students’ points of view on dating age (questions 1-3), attraction (questions 4-
5), contacting behaviors (questions 6-10), controlled topics (question 11),
punctuality (question 12), dating places (question 13), dating expense payment
(question 14) and dating purposes (question 15). Multiple choice was the most
suitable type which should be used here because sometimes informants did not
know how to express ideas in their own words. These multiple choice questions
were also included the "Others" category where necessary so that participants could
add their own choice there and the researcher could get more detailed ideas of the
issues.

3.2.2 The interview:

Five students from each country participated in short semi-structured
interviews in which they gave their attitudes, opinions about their previous and
current dates. Much more important than that, they were asked to provide their own
situations or circumstances in which different perceptions between two sexes
existed. Some questions planned before were overlooked when the researcher saw
that they were not necessary during the interview; simultaneously, some were
added to make ambiguous things clearer. During the interviews, the researcher was
quite flexible to ask for the informants' involvement in answering questions and
producing persuasive and reliable data.
3.3. Data collection procedures:
Four main steps were made up of data collection procedures as follow:
Step 1: Planning and piloting the questionnaire and the interview scheme
At the very beginning of the first step, researchers planned the questionnaire and
the interview scheme by drawing up an item pool then designed them in details.
After that, the author would have them checked and piloted by the friends and
voluntary participants to produce a better second version.
Step 2: Getting permission from respondents and pre-arranging time:
Firstly, the researcher asked for permission from students to participate in doing the
questionnaire and interview of the study. Time to carry out was arranged right at
that moment to reach a successful and effective cooperation.
Step 3: Delivering the questionnaires and carrying out the interview
Students from two countries took delivery of two forms of questionnaires (English
and Vietnamese versions). Some were delivered through emails. At the same time,
short semi- structured interviews with some of them were carried out. At the end
of the interview, the researcher showed deep thankfulness for their help.
Step 4: Collecting data from papers of questionnaire and interviews
Answers given from interviews were quickly taken notes by the researcher. With
American students living in US, the interview was conducted with the help of
internet (holding conferences or interviewing via Skype). When being asked, all
informants wanted to receive the outcome of the study and the researcher showed
willingness to do that for them.
3.4. Data analysis procedures:
The data analysis comprised of two main steps:
Step 1: Categorizing the data
1. Quantitative data: The number of students who shared the same opinions,
attitudes or behaviors were worked out into percentage and then put into tables and
charts.
2. Qualitative data: Summarizing was used to present the content of this kind
of data.
Step 2: Analyzing and interpreting the data
The next task after categorizing the data was to interpret them into coherent and
meaningful sentences. Thanks to that, the matters raised in research questions were
identified logically and basically.
 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION
4.1. Vietnamese's responses
Question 1: Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?
Chart 1.a: VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them

40 37.5
35 31.25
30
25 25 25
25
20
Male
15 12.5 Female

10 6.25 6.25
5
0
0
Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

The graph demonstrates differences between Vietnamese male and female

students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them. 37.75% of
Vietnamese men are not interested in dating a much older woman than them and
25% of them say definitely no to that. The number of Vietnamese male and female
students who are not sure about their behavior is equal and this figure accounts for
31.25% for each. These results reveal a big change in Vietnamese males' attitude. It
was unusual for a man to have romantic relationship with a person whose age gap
is big. However, nowadays it seems that they are freer in choosing a dating partner
and the age gap does not matter anymore. That is why more than 30% of males
choose maybe, and some interviewed males say they will take it into consideration.
While 25 % of female students agree that it is totally possible to date a much older
man than them, only one- fifth of that number of males say yes to an older woman.
On the other hand, 25% of Vietnamese males definitely say no to a much older
dating partner, and a half of that number of females share same ideas. Another
noticeable point can be seen from the graph is that no male says definitely yes
towards this issue and that number of females is only 6.25%.
 In summary, it can be concluded that nowadays the role of big age gap is not
as important as in the past and more and more people may date a much older
person than them. However, these people share that this issue can happen in some
certain situations. Added to that, Vietnamese females tend to be more willing to
date an older man than their counterparts.
Question 2: Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?
Chart 2.a: VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than them
60
50
50

40 37.5 37.5

30 25 25 Male
Female
20
12.5
10 6.25 6.25
0 0
0
Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

This question aims at studying attitudes of Vietnamese students towards

dating a very young person. As can be seen from the graph, half of male
participants say they may date a much younger girl than them, but this number of
females is only one-forth of participants which is equal to 25 %. Some of these
males say that if the woman is 5-10 years older than them, there will be no problem
in dating, but if she is younger than that, they need to consider it. The other 75% of
women say they will not or will surely not date a too young man, whereas only
12.5 % males firmly say no when talking about dating a much younger girl than
them. On the other hand, the other 12.5 % of Vietnamese male students show their
interest in a young dating partner and say there is no reason preventing them from
dating a person like that.
In summary, a large number of males say maybe and the majority of females
say no or definitely no, which conveys that Vietnamese males are quite interested
in dating a too young woman and Vietnamese female students do not like dating a
younger man than them very much. Again, big age gap seems not to be as
important in dating scene as in the past because now a large percentage of students
see no obstacles in terms of age gap in dating. Some share that they are not afraid
of disapprove of their parents because they have their own right in choosing a
dating partner and their feelings towards each other are things that really count.
Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?
Chart 3.a: Best age to have first date in VNese students' attitudes

90 81.25 90
80 80
68.75
70 70
60 60
50 50
40 31.25 40 Male
30 30 Female
18.75
20 20
10 10
0 0
0 0
Senior high school 14-18
Below senior high school <14 Post-secondary school >18

The graph shows Vietnamese students' opinions about the best age to have
first date. Interestingly, none of participants think that they should date when they
are at below senior high school or that is to say, below grade 9. The majority of
Vietnamese male students (around 68.75%) think that it is best to date at post-
secondary school when it is the time after students finish studying at high school.
The percentage of female students sharing the same idea with males in this point
are even more than that of males, up to 81.25 %. They say that this time is suitable
to have first date because they are mature enough to understand well about their
own feelings towards each other and experienced enough to handle with some
troubles in relationships. 31.25 % and 18.75 % of males and females respectively
vote for first date at senior high school.
In summary, Vietnamese male and female students nearly share same ideas
on this issue. Most of participants do not approve of dating too early and to them,
the ideal time to experience first date is after graduating from high school, then it
might be at universities or colleges.
Question 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?
Chart 4.a. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in VNese students' attitudes

60

50
50
43.75
40
31.25
30 Male
25
Female
20
12.5 12.5
10 6.25 6.25 6.25 6.25
0 0
0
Physical appearance Intellect Money Humor Personality Others

The graph examines differences among Vietnamese male and female

students' consciousness about their strongest point to appeal to the opposite sex. It
is easily seen that personality is considered strength of most American male and
female students. Up to 50% and 43.75 % of females and males respectively assume
that the opposite sex is mainly attracted by their characteristics. 31.25 % is the
percentage of studied males who think that they have good sense of humor to make
women interested in them. However, the number of females who are confident
about the attractiveness of their sense of humor makes up only one-third of that
number of males. When physical appearance is mentioned, it is interesting to know
that only 6.25% of Vietnamese males think they are good-looking enough to attract
others. In contrast, the number of Vietnamese female students confident about their
outer beauty is fourfold that of males. Another noticeable outcome from this
question is that there are more females who can make men enjoy their company by
their intellect than the other way around. As for money, no Vietnamese females
think the opposite sex fall for them because of their money. 6.25% of Vietnamese
males assume that they are appealing to women thanks to their money. Others say
that they are not sure about their own strong point to attract the opposite sex.
In summary, Vietnamese male students are most confident about their
personality and sense of humor when interacting with women and Vietnamese
female students' commonly strong points are personality and physical appearance,
which can be called inner and outer beauty.
Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?
Chart 5.a. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese students' attitudes

60 56.25

50
43.75
40

30 25 25
Male
18.75 Female
20

10 6.25 6.25 6.25 6.25

0 0
0
Intellect Humor Others
Physical appearance Money Personality

This question targets at studying features that Vietnamese students expect at

the opposite sex. Personality is the feature most students take an interest in. 56.75
% and 43.25 % of male and female students respectively choose a dating partner
basing on personal qualities. Another common trend among females is they look
for intelligent and humorous men for their romantic relationships. Meanwhile, only
6.25 % of surveyed men want to have an intelligent girlfriend and the same
percentage of men look for a humorous dating partner. Apart from personality,
most of Vietnamese males concern about women' s physical appearance. 25% of
surveyed Vietnamese males like beautiful girls, which is fourfold the number of
Vietnamese females taking interest in handsome men. Money is once again
neglected by students when it comes to dating. There is no male or female who can
be attracted by money of the opposite sex. In other words, money does not play a
role in dating stage. Those who choose the "others" category say that they try to
look for a person who has all of the features above.
Question 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?
Chart 6.a. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese students' attitudes

25
Call him/her
18.75

0
Email him/her
6.25
Male
25 Female
Send messages to him/her
31.25

50
Ask him/her directly
43.75

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

This question is conducted to find out the best way in Vietnamese students'
opinions to invite somebody out. As can be seen from the graph, the majority of
participants, 50% of males and 43.75 % of females suppose that asking that person
directly is the most effective way. The other half of males use mobile phones to call
or send messages to that person. Meanwhile, the percentage of females who often
send messages to invite a man out is 6.25% more than males having same choice.
Only 6.25% of Vietnamese males email a woman to ask her out and none of
studied Vietnamese females use emails in this situation.
In general, it is quite clear that there is no big difference between males and
females' attitudes when contacting with a person to ask them out. Asking directly is
the most effective and common way in their viewpoint and sending emails seems
not to be in favor of students when it comes to dating.
Question 7: When you like someone, you will:
Chart 7.a. VNese students' behaviors when they like someone
 93.75
Ask him/her for a date right away
31.25

Male
Female
6.25
Wait for him/her to ask you for a date
68.75

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

This graph illustrates differences in the way Vietnamese male and female
students behave to the person they fall for. The percentage of male students ask the
girl they like for a date right away is a striking number, 93,75%, which is three
times as much as that of females. The majority of females seem to be quite passive
in this situation. Even though this is about the person they have special feelings for,
they just wait for that person to ask them out, instead of making a move first. This
number of males is rather small, just 6.25% of males choose to wait because this
small portion is afraid of being refused.
In summary, when a Vietnamese male student like someone, they will not
hesitate to ask that person out so that two of them have more time to get to know
each other better. This result shows that now men in Vietnam is more and more
active in approaching women and most of them can not wait to express their
concern about her. On the contrary, Vietnamese female students are shyer of
showing their emotions, and only one-thirds of surveyed females have enough
courage to ask first.
Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:
A. Contact him/her back later the same day
B. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back
C. Wait until he/she contacts you again
 90
81.25
80
68.75
70
60
50
Male
40
31.25 Female
30
18.75
20
10
0 0
0
A B C

Chart 8.a. VNese students' behavior when the person they like contacts them
According to the graph, the viewpoint of the majority if Vietnamese male
students is that when the person they like contact them, they will contact back later
the same day or after a few days. None of studied males wait for another contact
from that person without doing something. Meanwhile, being in that situation,
Vietnamese female students will either contact back on the same day or just do
nothing and wait for another signal from that person. None of females choose to
wait for a few days before connecting with him. In details, 81.25 % of Vietnamese
male students when being get in touch by the person they like will contact right on
that same day, and 68.75% of females choose to do so. Only 18.75% of males
choose to wait for several days and then decide to reach that person. Surprisingly,
none of females behave in the same way as these 18.75% of males. More than one-
thirds of surveyed females want to be approached once more time before deciding
to give feedback signals, whereas no males want to do so.
In summary, the majority of Vietnamese male and female students when
being contacted by the person they fancy will contact them back within less than 24
hours. With some other men, this time lasts several days and with some other
women, they want that person to keep contacting them.
Question 9: When being asked for a date, you will
Chart 9.a. VNese students' response to an invitation to a date
 90 81.25
80
70
60 56.25
50 43.75
40 Male
30 Female
18.75
20
10
0
Not answer immediately
Give a definite yes/no

The graph illustrates clear differences in Vietnamese male and female

students' attitudes towards replying an invitation for a date. According to the graph,
81.75% of male students will give a clear answer which is either yes or no when
being asked for a date. Meanwhile, only half of that percentage of females choose
to do so. The other 56.25 % of females report that it takes them some time to think
before replying so they will not answer immediately. The number of males
behaving in the same way is only 18.75 %, one-thirds of females.
In summary, most Vietnamese male students choose to give a definite yes or
no right away, but most Vietnamese female students behave in the other way,
which is not to give a direct response.
Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will
you do?
Chart 10.a. VNese students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused
 80 75
70
60 56.25
50 43.75
40 Male
30 25 Female

20
10
0
Contact again Never contact again

The graph shows reaction of Vietnamese male and females' students after
being refused for a date. Three-forths of surveyed males say they will keep contact
with that person and try to ask for a date another time. The majority of females who
will not be in touch with that person any more account for 56.25 %, whereas that
percentage of males is only 25 %. The number of females choosing to contact that
person again to ask for a date reports 43.75 % and some interviewed students share
that if they are really fond of that man, they want to give themselves another
chance. Some other females who do not want to contact again say that it is not
worth trying to contact those who show no interest in them.
In summary, the common behavioral trend among Vietnamese male students
is to continue to get in touch with women, even they refuse their offer to have a
date. Meanwhile, the large number of females chooses to end the relationship by
not contacting again to deal with that situation.
Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?
Chart 11.a. Best topic on dates in VNese students' attitudes
 40 37.5 37.5 37.5
35

30
25 25
25

20 18.75
Male
Female
15 12.5
10
6.25
5
0 0
0
Current events Your interests His/Her interests Common interests Others

According to the graph, two topics Vietnamese male students think the most
suitable to talk about on dates are current events and women's interests. The
percentage of studied males who share this attitude is 37.5% for each of these
choice. Only half of that number of females supposes that they should discuss
about current events on dating. The graph also shows an interesting difference
between two genders' attitudes is that while 37.5 % of males are in favor of talking
about his dating partner's interests, only 6.25 % of females choose interests of the
opposite sex the best topic. The majority of Vietnamese female students would like
both of parties to converse about their common interests, not only their interests or
the other's concern. Another notable thing illustrated by the graph is none of
surveyed males think their own interest is a good topic to talk on dates. On the
contrary, one-forths of surveyed females choose their interests a reasonable topic to
involve in conversations on dates.
In summary, as for Vietnamese male students, current events and interests of
the opposite sex are chosen as most appropriate topics to discuss on dates, but
Vietnamese females do not share the same thoughts. Common interests and their
own interests are preferable to most of females to build up conversations on dates.
No males think his interest is a relevant topic to make an effective date.
Question 12: On dates, you arrive
 Chart 12.a. Punctuality on dates in VNese students' attitudes

90 81.25
80
70
60
50
50
40
37.5 Male
Female
30
20 12.5 12.5
10 6.25
0
on time a little early a little late

As can be seen from the graph, Vietnamese male and female students adopt
great difference in punctuality on dates. 50% of females say they will arrive on
time, but the percentage of males chooses to do so is only 12.5 %, which is one-
forths of females. The majority of surveyed males want to come early on dates,
which reports up to 81.25 %. As for females, the number choose to come ahead of
time is as small as those arrive punctually, which is 12.5 %. A large number of
female students (nearly 49%) often come belatedly on dates, whereas this number
of males is only 6.25%. There is one interviewed male students say that he is late
for everything and on dates he tries to be on time but he is still unpunctual.
In summary, Vietnamese male students tend to come sooner than planned on
dates. Only a small portion of male students comes to dating place exactly as the
schedule time or late. Meanwhile, there are two common trends among Vietnamese
female students' attitudes towards time on dates, which are to come either on time
or a little late. Very few females choose to come early when having a date.
Question 13: Where is the best place for dates?
Chart 13.a. Best dating place in VNese students' attitudes
 6.25
Theater/cinema
6.25

12.5
Restaurant
31.25
Male
50 Female
Somewhere outdoors
37.5

31.25
Others
25

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

The graph illustrates places where Vietnamese students often go on dates or

think are suitable for dates. The most outstanding point from the graph is that the
majority of both males and females choose somewhere outdoors as an ideal place
for their dates. 50% of males and 37.5 % of females are in favor of being close to
open air or nature in somewhere like parks. Restaurant is another place picked up
to go on dates by 31.25 % of females. The percentage of males prefers restaurant is
less than a half of females. The results show that only 12.5 % of Vietnamese males
think that it is a best place for those are dating to go. Theater and cinema seem not
to be fitting choice among both genders. There are only 6.25 % of males and the
same number of females adopt theater and cinema as best place for dates. 31.25 %
and 25 % of males and females respectively have other choices in dating place.
They say that the most common place they go for dates is small shops like coffee
shop where they have some drink only.
In summary, Vietnamese male students often choose somewhere outdoors
and coffee shop as their dating places. As for females, they believe that somewhere
with open air or restaurants are appropriate to have successful dates. Most students
do not regard going to movies as things they should do on dates. Some share that
movies prevent them from talking to each other, so going to theater or cinema
might make dates boring.
Question 14 :Who should pay for dates?
Chart 14.a. Dating expense payment in VNese students' attitudes

100
90
87.5
80
70
60
Male
50
Female
40
30
20 12.5
10 6.25 6.25
0 0 0
0
Men Women Split bill Other

The graph shows Vietnamese students' attitude towards payment on dates. It

is quite interesting to see that the percentage of men and women who think that
men should pay on date is exactly the same. This number is 87.5 %, which is seven
times as much as those adopting other choices. None of Vietnamese informants
suppose that women should pay all for dates. 12.5 % of Vietnamese male students
want both to pay the bill, but the number of females who have got that opinion is
only half of that. One female student says that if that is not an intimate relationship,
it is better for both to involve in paying, but normally men insist on paying, then
women should offer him something else. If the relationship lasts long and they
become intimate, it does not matter who will pay.
In summary, Vietnamese men is supposed to be responsible for paying by
most of students of two genders. Only small portion of surveyed students think that
they should divide the money to pay equally.

Question 15: What is your main purpose of dating?

Chart 15.a. VNese students' dating purposes
 60
50
50
43.75 43.75
40

30 25 Male
Female

20
12.5 12.5
10 6.25 6.25

0
Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

As being described in the graph, 50 % of Vietnamese females and 43.75 %

of males date because of mate selection, which means that they want to see others
in many different settings and to compare the personality and characteristics of
many people, then this will help them find out a person to spend their whole life
with. As can be seen from the graph, the percentage of males dating for
socialization is equal to those dating for mate selection. In comparison with 43.75
% of males want to socialize on dates, only 25 % of females choose dating to
develop appropriate social skills and to get along with others in different settings.
12.5 % of female students claim that their main purpose of dating is recreation.
These share that they date to have fun and try new and different activities. The
percentage of males saying they date for recreation is exactly a half of that number
of females, which is only 6.25 %. Those who pick the "others" category report that
they do not plan on dating. Sometimes at the first dating stages, they want to have
fun, and then if both parties are compatible to each other, they will move forwards
and think further.
In summary, mate selection is main purpose of dating of most Vietnamese
male and female students. Added to that, Vietnamese male students also care about
socialization when dating. There is only a small percentage of Vietnamese students
date to have fun and entertain themselves.
4.2. American's responses
Question 1 Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?
Chart 1.b: American students' attitude towards dating a much older person than them

70
62.5
60

50 43.75
40
Male
30 25 Female
18.75
20
12.5 12.5
10 6.25
0 0
0
Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

As can be drawn from the graph, the majority of American males and
females do not care about big age gap when it comes to dating. In sum, 81.75 % of
females and males will or may date a person who is much older than them and age
gap really does not matter. Only 18.75 % of males and females think that a much
older person than them is not a good dating partner. Surprisingly, more American
males definitely say yes to dating an older woman (12.5 %) than American females
towards males (only 6.25%). It seems that when becoming older, American females
are more attractive to the opposite sex than males. This may be explained by
differences in two sexes' psychology. American females seem to be afraid of
conflicts caused by big age gap which easily leads to broken relationships.
Question 2: Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?
Chart 2.b: American students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than them

60 56.25
50
50

40
31.25
30 Male
25 Female

20
12.5 12.5
10 6.25 6.25
0 0
0
Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

The graph shows difference between American male and female students'
attitudes about their dating partner's age. Noticeably, no females want to date a
much younger man than her and no American male students definitely do not like
to date a very young girl. The graph also clearly demonstrates the common trend
among American male students that they find interest in having a so young girl as
their girlfriend (as we can see, 56.25 % and 31.25 % say yes and maybe
respectively). Only a small percentage of male students, about 6.25 % say no to too
young daters. A striking difference among males and females' attitude lies on the
yes category. While nearly 60% of males will surely do, only 12.5 % of females
answer in the affirmative. As for females, those are not certain about dating a very
young man account for the majority. The number of female students who are
unwilling to date a much younger person is more than fourfold that of males.
In brief, most of American male students are eager and excited to date a very
young girl while female students tend to think that it is hard for them to have an
interesting relationship with a younger man than them.
Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?
 Chart 3.b: Best age to have first date in American students' attitudes

0
Below senior high school < 14
7.5

68.8 Male
Senior high school 14- 18 Female
65.3

31.2
Post-secondary school > 18
27.2

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80

The above graph visualizes American students' attitude about the best age to
have first date. In general, there is no big difference among male and female
students towards this issue. The majority of two sexes (68.8 % males and 65.3 %
females) suppose that the best time to experience their first date is at the senior
high school when they were around 14-18 years old. This is perhaps because at this
time they are no longer children and not yet adults so they are quite curious and
want to experience new things. Moreover, studying at senior high school may be
not too stressed so they can have fun time hanging out with friends and develop
their relationships. Even though American is considered to have tendency to
involve in romantic relationships quite soon, we still see from the graph that 31.2 %
of male and 27.2 % female students believe that it's best to date after finishing post-
secondary school (maybe after entering universities or taking vocational training
courses) when they are at least 18 years old. Interestingly, none of male students
think that they should date when they have not reached 14 whereas small portions
of females want to have first date at that young age.
To sum up, neither American male nor female students think that age
difference plays an important role in dating stage. Most of students from two
genders say they may date a person who is much older or much younger than them.
A number of male students are even pretty sure about dating older women. As for
younger dating partner, males tend to be willing to involve in that relationship
whereas none of females say yes definitely to men much younger than them. In
terms of best age for first date, the number of students prefers age at senior high
school is twice as much as those recommend time during post-secondary school. A
small portion of female students think it is best to date when they are below senior
high school.
Question 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?
Chart 4.b1. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American female students'
attitudes

Physical appearance 6.25

Intellect 12.5

Money 0
American f emale
students
Humor 37.5

Personality 43.75

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50

Here is the graph which describes American female students' awareness

about their own strength to attract the opposite sex. Personality is the feature most
of them feel confident about. 43.75% of female participants presume that the
opposite sex is mainly attracted by their characteristics. When being interviewed,
some common adjectives they use to talk about themselves are fun-loving,
enthusiastic, humorous and supportive. It seems that very few female students
(only 6.25%) consider physical appearance their main weapon to make others enjoy
their company. Some say they may attract others at first sight but then what men
care about is what kind of person they really are, not just the outer beauty. Only
beautiful face cannot keep a man beside a woman long enough to build a strong
relationship. Sense of humor is also another strong point of American female
students. The graph shows 37.5 % of them are appealing to men by their wittiness
(being funny and entertaining). Another outstanding outcome from the study is that
there is no American females taking money into the dating stage. They totally agree
that money is meaningless in drawing men's attention.
Chart 4.b2. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American male students'
attitudes

Physical appearance 12.5

Intellect 25

Money 0
American male
Humor 25 students

Personality 31.25

Others 6.25

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35

Looking at the males' chart about their attitude towards their own strong
point to attract the opposite sex, again, we see personality is picked up most. 31.25
% of American male students share same idea that females like them because of
their personality. It seems that personality often stands first in students' priority list
while taking some of their features into consideration to attract others. The number
of American male students who think they are good-looking enough to appeal
others is twice than that of females (12.5 %). The same ratio between men and
women is seen when mentioning about intellect. American male students tend to be
more confident about their intellectual attraction towards opposite sex than
females. 25 % of males can use their intellectual ability to make others fall for
them, whereas this number of female is only 12.25 %. Humor is yet another
important feature for American male students to be confident about to catch others'
attention and liking.
 Some think their balance among those factors makes them attractive and the
opposite sex loves them not only by their own personality, but also by humor,
intellect and physical appearance. A marked similarity among American male and
female students is that money does not play any role when talking about attraction
in romantic relationship. Both sexes are high aware that money is not something
special or important to attract and be attracted in building relationships.
Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?
Chart 5.b. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in American students' attitudes

Physical appearance 31.25

12.5

Intellect 12.5
25

Money 0
0
6.25 Male
Humor
25 Female

Personality 31.25
31.25

Others 18.75
6.25

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35

There are lots of interesting things to have an insight into what feature of a
dating partner American students concern most about. It is visibly shown in the
graph that the majority of male students choose physical appearance and
personality as two most attractive features of a girlfriend. Therefore, it can be
drawn out that men keep a balance between outer and inner beauty when it comes
to finding a dating partner. Meanwhile, in contrast to a common notion that young
people are often overwhelmed by outward appearance, only 12.5% of American
female students view physical appearance as the most important thing about men
they keep in mind. The feature most female students really want to find at a
potential dater is personality. At second rank in females' concern come intellect and
sense of humor with 25% for each. However, only 6.25% of males look for a
humorous girlfriend. Besides, the number of males look for a smart girl is half of
that of females. They say they are afraid of being not able to handle with an
intelligent girl. Some interviewed male students report that they are quite picky so
normally it takes them quite a lot of time to find out a right match who involves
more than one feature listed above. Some other males share same ideas with a
small portion of 6.25% of females that they even have not thought of what they are
really looking for from the opposite sex. Their relationships just naturally develop
when they have same feelings for each other without any special reasons like the
good appearance, intelligence or humor.
To sum up, personality is not only the feature most of American male and
female students are confident about themselves to attract the others but also the
feature both genders look for to find out an ideal partner. Interestingly, this
intersecting point can make it easier and quicker for American students to find out
a dating partner. All surveyed students do not show any care for money when
talking about dating. They share that money helps nothing in relationships and they
totally cannot be attracted to others just by their strong financial competency. In
terms of qualities of the opposite sex they often fall for, the majority of males
choose physical appearance and personality whereas most female students care for
personality, intellect and humor. It seems that intellect and sense of humor of a girl
are not features most men desire to exist in their dating partner.
Question 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?
Chart 6.b. Best way to invite somebody out in American students' attitudes
 0
Call him/ her
13.3

0
Email him/her
0
Male
0 Female
Send messages to him/her
6.7

100
Ask him/her directly
80

0 20 40 60 80 100 120

This question aims at seeking for the most effective way American students
use to invite someone out. The graph shows obviously that those choose to ask
directly to invite outnumber those who call or send messages to ask for a date. 100
% of studied males believe that asking directly really works in this situation. Some
say that they are in favor of face-to-face communication and asking right away also
helps them know the counterpart's feelings and emotions. As for females, the
majority of females share the same idea with males in this issue. The percentage of
females who will ask the man they want to hang out with directly is 80 %, which is
more than four times as much as those contact by phones. A small portion of 6.7 %
female informants choose to send messages to invite one person out because they
are not confident enough to call or ask directly. Some say they are afraid of being
refused. It is quite fascinating to see that none of American students invite someone
out by emailing them.
The outcome of this question proves the directness in communication among
American students. Most of them prefer something simple and clear which is
impossible not to understand and face-to-face communication is viewed as the most
efficient way to contact during dating process.
Question 7: When you like someone, you will:
 75
Ask him/her for a date right away
25

12.5
Wait for him/her to ask you for a date
68.75 Male
Female

12.5
Others
6.25

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80

Chart 7.b. American students' behaviors when they like someone

The above graph views differences in American male and female students'
behavior when they have special feelings for someone. 73.3% of American male
students will express their emotions right away by asking the girl they are
interested in for a date. However, only 26.7 % females behave in that way. Some
interviewed students say it is too risky to ask for a date when they are not sure
about the counterpart's thinking. The majority of females choose a safer way as to
wait for the person they like to ask them for a date. This number is 66.7%, which is
five times as much as that of males. 13.3 % and 6.7 % of male and female students
respectively choose the "others" category. Some females say it depends on the
person. If they are compatible with each other by having similar ideas and interests,
they will ask right away, but if not, they will wait. Some American male students
say they will not do it straight away, but wait a little and have some talks to become
friends and then ask for a date. That time might last a week or more.
In brief, male students seem to be more straightforward and brave in
revealing their feelings and more willing to involve in a date than females.
American female students are a little bit shyer about this issue while 66.7 % just
wait and do nothing to foster the relationship.
Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:
A. Contact him/her back later the same day
B. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back
 C. Wait until he/she contacts you again
D. Other (please specify)...............................

80
68.75
70
60
50
50 43.75
40 Male
31.25
30 Female

20
10 6.25
0 0 0
0
A B C D

Chart 8.b. American students' behavior when the person they like contacts them
The graph demonstrates American male and female students' attitude
towards what they should do when being contacted by a person they like. 68.75 %
of females will contact that person back later the same day to show their interest.
Meanwhile, only half of studied males choose this. Nearly the other half will not
contact right after that, but wait for a few days before giving the signals back
instead. None of those students think that it is wise to do nothing but wait for
another contact from that person. Those who choose the other category say that it
depends on the situation. If that person they really fall for, they will contact back
just some minutes later. If it is only the one they like a bit, they want to wait.
In total, it is quite surprising to see that the number of females contact the
man they like after he contacts them within a day is larger than that of male
students. In this matter, American female students seem to be more excited,
fascinated and active in giving feedback after men gives responsive signals to
them. Meanwhile, more men want to wait to have time to look into the situation
than women.
Question 9: When being asked for a date, you will
 93.75
A. Give a definite yes or no 100
81.25
80
B. Not answer immediately
60
Male
40 Femle
18.75
20
6.25
0

Chart 9.b. American students' response to an invitation to a date

As can be seen from the graph, 93.75% and 81.25 % of male and female
students will give a definite yes or no when they are asked for a date. This results
show that American students seem to be in favor of directness in dating process,
which has been analyzed in question 6. Most of students say that when someone
invites them out for a date, there is no reason for them to take too much time to
give an answer. If they feel interested in, then it will be a yes and if not, obviously
be a no. Some say they may have some reasons to refuse, for example assignments
or exams. Only 6.25 % of male respondents will not answer immediately and that
number of females is exactly three times as much as men's. Therefore, it can be
drawn out that American males are more straightforward than females. A small
portion of males who do not reply by a yes or no right away say that the situation
has not happened to them but if it has, they want to think carefully because they
always take dating seriously.

Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will
you do?
 70
62.5
60
50
50

40
31.25 Male
30 25 25 Female

20

10 6.25

0
Contact him/her again Never contact him/her again Others

Chart 10.b. American students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused

In this question, the researcher seeks for attitude of male and female students
towards the situation that they are refused when asking for a date. 25% of male
students are willing to keep trying another time to approach the girl they like,
whereas this number of females is a little more than that- 31.25%. Exactly half of
studied males will never contact that person again after receiving a no for a date.
Interestingly, up to 62.5 % of females make the strong decision that there is no
point in continuing to contact the person. They share that once he says no, it means
he is not interested in so they do not want to put any hope in such situation. 25% of
American male students have their own way to handle this. Some share that it
depends on the person. If that girl is just an acquaintance, they will not contact
again. If they are friends, some decide to wait and contact later. Some say they will
contact again only if they really like that woman. Others want to try to talk to her
and give her time to know them better.
In summary, when it comes to attitude towards contact or connection among
American students, there are some outstanding things to take into consideration.
American male students show to be direct and straightforward in dating
relationship because the results report that most of them will ask for a date right
away when they like someone and 100% of males say they will invite a person out
by asking them directly. Besides, both of two genders are not in favor of beating
around the bush when being asked for a date. The majority of male and female
students answer they will give a definite yes or no in that situation. If they are
refused when asking others for a date, most of students will never contact again. At
this point, the results express the idea that American young people are not very
persistent in pursuing the person they are interested in. However, the outcome also
makes it clearer that most of American students view dating as something clear and
simple because when they say no, they really mean that they do not like, so it is
useless to try to contact them again. There is a slight difference between male
and female students' attitude towards the matter of being connected by the person
they like. When a person they like contacts them, more females than males choose
to contact them back later the same day. More males tend to wait for several days
before contacting back. In this issue, American male students show that they need
more time to think and consider carefully before involving in a dating relationship.
Some say that they just guess that because it never happens to them.

Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?
Chart 11.b. Best topic on dates in American students' attitudes

Current events 0
0

Your interests
0
6.25

His/Her interests
50 American male
37.5 students
American female
43.75 students
Common interests
56.25

Others
6.25
0

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

As can be seen from the bar chart, most of American male and female
students think the best topic on dates is common interest or the other's interest. The
number of male students supposes that women's interest is the most suitable topic
accounts for 50% and nearly all of the rest choose common interest to talk about on
dates. Meanwhile, 37.5 % of female students think the topic of her dating partner's
interest make conversation smooth and natural. More than half of studied females
want to discuss about common things. There is slight difference between two
genders' points of view about this. Common interest is the preferable topic to most
of females in comparison with males, whereas the majority of male students
suppose that the opposite sex's interest is more suitable. Noticeably, neither males
nor females think that current events should involve in conversation and men also
do not want to talk about their own interests. Other men say that it is best to ask
women questions and sometimes talk about themselves but not too much. A small
percentage of women thinks that they should discuss about their own interest.
In brief, it is easily seen that the overlap in two genders' attitude towards this
issue is interests or hobbies they have in common. Therefore, it is advisable from
the results of this survey question that dating partners should choose common
interests as the best topic on dates.
Question 12: On dates, you arrive

90 81.25
80
70
60
50 43.75
40 Male
31.25
25 Female
30
18.75
20
10
0
0
on time a little early a little late

Chart 12.b. Punctuality on dates in American students' attitudes

This question aims at studying attitudes towards punctuality of American
students on dates. The graph shows that up to 81.25 % of male students arrive on
time on dates, which is nearly twice as much as that number of females. About 20
% of males say they often come a little early and no male students come late on
dates. It is quite surprising to know that 31.25% of American female students arrive
a little late on dates. The number of late female daters is more than early female
daters and less than on-time ones.
In summary, 100% and 68.75% of male and females respectively will come
to dates on time or early. These figures show that American people are quite strict
in punctuality and this is important because they value their own time and others'
time. 31.25 % of females come late share that sometimes it takes them long time to
dress up and some say they want to come and see their dating partners at the dating
place already.
Question 13: Where is the best place for dates?

Chart 13.b. Best dating place in American students' attitudes

0
Theater/cinema
12.5

62.5
Restaurant
25
Male
31.25
Somewhere outdoors Female
50

6.25
Others
12.5

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70

The graph demonstrates places where American students often go on dates.

Restaurant is an ideal place for dates in the view of 62.5% of male students,
whereas the number of females like going to restaurants is only more than one-third
of that of males. Male students who think going to somewhere outdoors make their
dates more interesting account for 31.25%. That figure of women is up to 50%.
They say that open air at somewhere like parks make them feel more comfortable
and conversation will easily move on. Theater or cinema is the best choice for dates
of 12.5 % of females but no male thinks going to movies is suitable. Some say that
watching movies can be a good activity but not best. Some say on first date they
can go to cinema so that they have something to talk about afterwards. However,
after that two people need private space to get to know each other better, which
theater or cinema cannot provide them. Others prefer going to bar or cafe.
In summary, American students who are going to date someone should keep
in mind that half of females want to go to somewhere outdoors with fresh air and
only one-forths of female students like having meals at restaurants on dates.
Meanwhile, the majority of American male students view restaurant best place for
their dates.
Question 14: Who should pay for dates?

50
45
43.75 43.75
40 37.5
Male
35 31.25 Female
30
25
25
20
18.75
15
10
5
0 0
0
Men Women Split bill Others

Chart 14.b. Dating expense payment in American students' attitudes

The graph shows American students' attitude towards payment on their dates.
It is shown in the graph that there is no big difference between men and women's
thinking in this issue. 43.75 % American male students say that they should pay on
dates, 31.25 % of their counterparts share the same idea that men are responsible
for paying. The percentage of female students think splitting the bill is the most
suitable way is more than that of males. However, the disparity is not considerable.
None of American participants suppose that women should pay all for dates. Some
interviewed male students said that they will pay all but they want women to offer
to pay first because they do not like the idea that men have to be responsible for
paying all. Other female interviewees shared that on first dates men should pay, but
on later dates, both of parties split the bill equally.
Question 15: What is your main purpose of dating?
Chart 15.b. American students' dating purposes
80
68.75
70
60
50
40
37.5
31.25 Male
30 25 25 Female
20
10 6.25 6.25
0
0
Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

This graph provides visibly huge difference between American male and
female students' purposes of dating. Nearly 80% of females go on dates because
they want to meet and spend time with people in order to be sociable and gain
personal development. In American dating culture, people do not need to make
commitment because it is just an early stage in relationships. Some share that
dating to them is to get to know about each other better and to learn to behave well.
The number of male students says they date for socialization is only equal to half of
that number of females, which is approximately 40%. 25% of American male
students date for recreation, which is fourfold that of females. Some interviewed
men say they date to entertain, enjoy themselves and have fun without thinking any
further. They do not take dating too seriously and some even say they can date
because their friends are also dating. Meanwhile, very few females have that idea.
However, the number of males who dates for mate selection is 31.25%- more than
25% of females. Others say that they are unsure about their dating purposes. Some
say they may date for fun but when they find out a suitable match, they will move
on to foster the relationship.
In summary, main dating purpose of most American female students is
socialization and males seem to balance among three purposes.

4.3. Similarities and differences between Vietnamese and American students'

dating attitude
4.3.1. Similarities
Attractiveness (Question 5)

50
45
43.75
40
35 31.25
30
25 25 25
25 Vietnamese female
students
20
18.75
American female
15 12.5 students

10 6.25 6.25
5
0 0
0
Intellect Humor Others
Physical appearance Money Personality

Chart 16. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese and American
female students' dating attitudes
The graph illustrates features of the opposite sex Vietnamese and American
female students are looking for. Even though some slight difference can be seen
among choices of students from two countries, the majority of both Vietnamese
and American women want to have a boyfriend who is nice, intelligent and
humorous. It is intriguing to see that these are three features of a man which can
attract women most.
 The outcome shows that a man with good personality can appeal to lots of
female students, no matter they come from America or Vietnam. It has been
common from the past that in Vietnam, personality is the most important thing
about one person. There is even an old saying which traditionally implies that
"Beauty dies and fades away but ugly holds its own".
Followed by personality is intellect. Nowadays, women tend to fall in love
with the person they admire most. The man they fall for need to be more intelligent
than them. Normally, a smart man is a good conversationalist and has strong sense
of humor, which can attract the opposite sex quickly. Some might say that the
developing society makes people more materialistic, however, with Vietnamese
and American females, money has no meaning and when choosing a dating partner,
they care nothing about financial competency of that person.

Punctuality (Question 12)

60
50
50
43.75
40 37.5
31.25
Vietnamese female
30 25 students
American female
20 students
12.5
10

0
on time a little early a little late

Chart 17. Punctuality on dates in Vietnamese and American students' attitudes

The graph shows similarities between Vietnamese and American female
students' punctuality on dates. Almost half of surveyed students from two countries
come to the dating place on time. A small percentage of Vietnamese and American
female students want to come a little early. Surprisingly, more than 30 % of
participants from each different cultures are a little late on dates. This
outcome is partly unexpected because American are said to be very punctual no
matter the occasion is formal or not. However, when replying this question, 31.25
% American students say they are often late for dates. Some shared that they do not
take dating as something too serious and it is merely a chance to have fun time
together and get to know each other better. Therefore, they are not too strict for
themselves to come there on time, and they may be late a little bit. As for
Vietnamese, being unpunctual happens more common among daily life. Even when
it comes to dating, they cannot avoid being late sometimes.
4.3.2. Differences
Age gap (Question 1)

50
45
43.75
40 37.5
35 31.25
30
25 25
25
18.75 Vietnamese males
20 American males
15 12.5
10 6.25
5
0 0
0
Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

Chart 18. American and VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than
them
Vietnamese and American male students show different attitude towards
dating a much older person than them. It is clearly seen from the graph that in three
categories "definitely yes", "yes" and "maybe", American male students outnumber
Vietnamese ones. In details, 12.5 % of American males will surely date a much
older woman, but none of surveyed Vietnamese share the same idea. Additionally,
the number of American males who affirm that it can totally happen is fourfold that
of Vietnamese males. On the contrary, while majority of Vietnamese male students
choose "no" and "definitely no" towards this issue, only a small percentage of
18.75 % of American students say they will not date a much older woman than
them.
In summary, the outstanding difference between Vietnamese and American
male students' attitude noted here is that American males does not care much about
big age gap between themselves and their dating partners, whereas Vietnamese
males show little interest in older women. This attitude of American students is
once seen when they are asked about dating a much younger woman. While only
6.25 % of Vietnamese male students say yes, that percentage of American is 56.25
%. The researcher attempts to explain the outcome that American people are more
open-minded about romantic relationship and to them, love may be supposed to be
ageless thing, then an age difference does not matter much. Most of them think that
it is possible for them to date a person whose age gap is large. Some interviewed
American men share that dating a younger woman not only brings them pleasant
feelings of caring for someone but also helps with the maturing process of the
young lady. However, in Vietnamese culture, for ages, it has been more common
for an older man to date a younger woman, not the other way around. Now, even
that notion partly fades away, only one-third of surveyed Vietnamese male students
will consider it and the majority of them are not very willing to do that.

Best dating age (Question 3)

From the graphs in previous part, an outstanding difference in attitude
towards suitable age to have first date of American and Vietnamese students is
shown. While most American students believe that they should date at senior high
school, majority of Vietnamese students suppose it is best to date after this studying
period, which means 18 years old afterwards. This outcome remains nearly the
same as what Whyte (1990) found out about dating age of American. It is also
predictable because when it comes to romantic relationships, Vietnamese people
tend to be more shy than American. According to previous study, Vietnamese even
hardly talk about dating topic at early age. Parental influence is quite strong in
Vietnam, plus parents often take much care about their children in general and their
private life as well. This partly limits relationships among youngsters and friends,
especially friends of the opposite sex. That is why most Vietnamese students do not
think that they should date earlier than 18.
On the contrary, in American society, individualism is highly respected,
which means people choose their own way to lead their lives. As a result, children
are independent from parents at early age. Additionally, American, especially
American students has high demand of developing their network of relationships.
This accounts for their choice to have first date at senior high school, around 14-18
years old.

Contact (Question 6)
Chart 19. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese and American students' dating
attitudes

21.7
Call him/her
6.7

3.2
Email him/her
0
Vietnamese students
28.2 American students
Send messages to him/her
3.3

46.9
Ask him/her directly
90

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

The chart illustrates marked difference between Vietnamese and American

students' attitude towards the issue of how to invite somebody out appropriately. It
is easily seen from the chart that the most common way chosen by both Vietnamese
and American is asking that person directly. However, nearly all American
informants prefer this way, but there are about a half of Vietnamese use it and think
it effective. The other half of Vietnamese students often ask one person out with
the help of phones and internet, on the other hand, only 10 % of American
respondents have got the same way to deal with the issue.
In summary, the results reveal directness of American student in dating
communication. When they want to know others' opinions and feelings, they
usually get direct information from that person by going straight to the point while
talking. That is why even when it comes to asking someone for a date, the best way
for them is to ask directly. In contrast, Vietnamese culture adopts the opposite side
of communication, which is indirectness. The directness and indirectness of
American and Vietnamese students respectively are once shown in their reaction
when being asked for a date (question 9). In average, in this situation, while only
12.5 % of American students do not give a definite yes/no right away, this number
of Vietnamese respondents is nearly 40%. Vietnamese people are not familiar with
something straightforward and dating is no exception. Even though 46.9 % of
surveyed Vietnamese students choose to invite a person out by asking directly,
more than half of participants prefer calling, emailing or texting. The latter ways
help them avoid face-to-face communication, which might be thought of being
irrelevant by some students. Some Vietnamese students say they are too shy to ask
and sending messages make them more confident. Others are afraid of being
refused so they try to use a less vulnerable way.

Dating places (Question 13)

 6.25
Theater/Cinema
0

12.5
Restaurant
62.5
Vietnamese male students
50 American male students
Somewhere outdoors
31.25

31.25
Others
6.25

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70

Chart 20. Best dating places in VNese and American male students' attitudes
This graph shows difference in attitude of male students from Vietnamese
and American cultures when choosing a suitable dating place. It is noticeable that
restaurant is preferable to most of American male students, but majority of
Vietnamese students want to go to somewhere outdoors on dates. The percentage
of American students considers restaurant an ideal place to go on dates is 62.5 %,
which is five times more than Vietnamese counterparts. Meanwhile, the favorite
dating place of most Vietnamese is picked up by more than 30% of American.
The difference in choosing a suitable place for dates between students from
two cultures can be explained by some cultural factors. As for Vietnamese, for a
long time people have got used to depending much on the nature to live and work.
This leads to common wish among Vietnamese people to live in harmony with the
nature and often be out in nature in their daily activities. When it comes to dating,
they also want to spend time with their dating partner joining some outdoors
activities.
As for American, restaurant becomes their common dating place perhaps
because it provides intimate and romantic atmosphere and create chance for two to
get to know each other better. When having meals, they can sit in front of each
other and have much time to talk. Food is regarded a good conversation starter in
American' view. These interesting points of a restaurant cannot be found at the
cinema or parks, that is why restaurant is favored by majority of American students
to go on dates.
Dating expense payment (Question 14)
100

90 87.5

80

70

60

50 Vietnamese students
40.6
40 37.5 Amrican students

30
21.9
20
9.4
10 3.1
0 0
0
Men Women Split bill Others

Chart 21. Dating expense payment in VNese and American students' attitudes
The graph compares Vietnamese and American students' attitudes towards
payment on dates. Big difference between attitudes of people from two cultures is
viewed. While 87.5 % surveyed Vietnamese students lay responsibility for payment
on dates on men, only 37.5 % of American counterparts agree with that. Another
noticeable point is that the percentage of American students wants to split the bill
for both to pay is 40.6 %. This figure outnumbers other choices among American
and it is more than fourfold Vietnamese who have same idea (9.4 %). Apart from
these different attitudes, American and Vietnamese students show similarity in
thinking that women do not have to pay all on dates. The researcher see that their
contrastive ideas can be explained basing on some cultural factors.

As for American, they have strong self-reliance. They believe they should
stand on their own feet, live independently from others. American conceive that
they may lose freedom if relying too much on any support. This conception is true
in dating as well. Most of American do not want the other to pay all on dates. They
want both genders to be in charge of paying dating expenses. This outcome is in
agreement with the study of Rose and Frieze (1993). These researchers stated that
with the rise of women's movement, men and women are more likely to split the
costs of a date and this empowers women in a dating relationship.

As for Vietnamese, it is common notion from the past that men are usually in
better financial state than women. Moreover, men are said to be more proactive
than women in romantic relationship, so they should pay when they initiate a date
and sometimes even when they are invited. These notions among Vietnamese
people have been changing over time but they do not change much enough to form
a common idea that both should share dating expenses.

Dating purpose (Question 15)

Chart 22. Dating purposes of VNese and American female students

80
68.75
70

60
50
50
Vietnamese f emale
40 students
American f emale
30 students
25 25
20
12.5 12.5
10 6.25
0
0
Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

Some differences between American and Vietnamese female students' dating

purposes are shown in the graph. While main dating purpose of most Vietnamese
female students is mate selection, that of American participants is socialization.
68.75 % of surveyed American females date to develop social skills, which is
nearly three times as many as Vietnamese. Half of Vietnamese informants say they
date to select a mate by meeting people in different settings to see whose
characteristics they are compatible with. The percentage of American female
students sharing the same idea with 50% of Vietnamese is only 25 %.
The outcome of the question might originate from different attitude.
Vietnamese people in general always seek for a stable life in which they do not
have to worry much about future. Vietnamese female students, in particular, often
want to have a person to care about and be cared by them, who they can spend their
whole life with after finishing school. Therefore, their main dating purpose is not
just to have fun, but to meet and get to know others, then try to understand them
and see if they are a good match or not. Meanwhile, American is said to have high
sense of freedom. They respect others' freedom and their own as well. Therefore,
American people tend to regard dating something simple and easy, which does not
require much commitment. That is why they take dating as a chance to meet and
talk with a lot of people so that they can develop their own social skills and get
along with different people in many settings. Their primary dating purpose maybe
just as simple as to enjoy and entertain themselves, later they might find out a
suitable person to move on a long-term romantic relationship, but some interviewed
American students share that they do not plan ahead.

Summary of similarities and differences

In summary, studying Vietnamese and American students' dating attitude
helps us understand more about differences and similarities between two dating
cultures and we can draw out some cultural factors affecting their attitude.
Firstly, in terms of age gap, most American male students does not care
much about big difference in age. It is possible for them to date a much older or
younger woman than them. Meanwhile, Vietnamese male students are not
interested in those whose age is too far from theirs. It is perhaps because American
people are more open-minded than Vietnamese about age gap, and the thing really
matters to them is their own feelings towards each other, not outer factors.
However, Vietnamese people suffer from the old notion that a man should only
date younger woman, not older one. In Vietnam, men can be called "the strong"
and women "the weak", so in a couple, man need to be more experienced to protect
"the weak". Nevertheless, it is also uncommon for a man to date a too younger girl
since at that time the relationship is no longer "anh-em" relationship, but "chu-
chau".
Best age to have first date in view of American is also earlier several years than in
Vietnamese's viewpoint.
In terms of communication in dating, the American tend to be more direct
and they are in favor of face-to-face communication, whereas Vietnamese's
indirectness is shown quite clearly when lots of them choose other ways to contact
or interact with their dating partners.
When it comes to dating place, Vietnamese male students are for somewhere
outdoors.
As for dating expenses, while majority of both male and female American
want to split the bill equally, most of Vietnamese think men should pay on dates.
This is because American is highly independent from others and they do not want
to rely too much on somebody, especially rely on finance. American adopt high
sense of individualism. On the contrary, Vietnamese people incline to think that
men are more proactive than women so they should pay when they initiate a date or
sometimes even when they are invited.
Lastly, as for dating purpose, most American female students date to
socialize but main purpose of Vietnamese students is mate selection.
Although quite a lot of differences in dating attitude among Vietnamese and
American students are found, there are some similarities between them in terms of
punctuality on dates and attraction of the opposite gender. Both sides are not very
strictly punctual on dates because young people tend to consider dating a chance to
have fun time and enjoy life first, not something too formal or serious. Female
students from both countries look for a man with good personality, high intellect
and strong sense of humor. These features seem to be appreciated in every culture.
 CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION
5.1. Summary of findings:
5.1.1. Research question 1:
What are dating attitude of American and Vietnamese students in terms of age,
attraction, topics, contact, places, payment and purposes?
Overall, significant results of research questions have been found with the
help of research methodology and data analysis. Firstly, concerning about dating
attitude of American students, they do not care much about big age gap when it
comes to romantic relationship, so it is possible for both American males and
females to date a person who is either much older or much younger than them.
Most of them believe that they should date at the age range from 14 to 18.
American students are confident most about their personality to attract others and
they also care most about personality when choosing a dating partner. Besides,
American male students concern much about women's physical appearance, and
female students incline to fall for intelligent and humorous men.
American are in favor of directness in communication, that is why most of
them choose to ask a person directly to invite him/her out and they also give a
definite yes/no when being asked for a date. The majority of American male
students will ask a woman for a date right away if they like her, but most of female
students choose to wait for the man they like to ask them out. Both of two genders
after being contacted by the person they fall for will contact back later the same
day, without waiting for a further contact. Most of American students will never
contact a person again to ask for a date after being refused once time.
Common interests are picked up as the most suitable topic to talk on dates. In
terms of punctuality on dates, American male students seem to be more punctual
than females, most of them come to dating places on time but one-third surveyed
American female students say they often arrive a little bit late.
Males tend to date at restaurants but somewhere outdoors is preferable to
females. As for dating expenses, in most cases, either men will pay or they will
split the bill equally. The majority of American students date for the purpose of
socialization.
As for Vietnamese students, most of males will not date a much older
woman than them, but to females, they may date a much older man than them.
When it comes to dating a much younger person, the other way around is seen. The
majority of Vietnamese female students will absolutely not involve in that kind of
relationship but to males, that may happen. Both of two sexes think best time to
have first date is post-secondary school, when they are beyond 18 years old.
Vietnamese students think their personality is their strength to attract others
and they also care most about the opposite sex's personality.
To invite somebody out, Vietnamese students tend to ask that person
directly. Other common way to invite among Vietnamese students are calling and
sending messages. When a Vietnamese male student like a girl, they will ask her
for a date right away but female students want to wait for some contacting signals
from the man they like first. However, male and female students share same
attitudes towards the situation of being contacted by a person they like. They will
contact back later the same day. When being asked for a date, the majority of
Vietnamese male students will give a definite answer but females choose not to
reply right away. Vietnamese male students will contact a woman they like again
after being refused once time when they ask her for a date, but most of female
students do not want to contact that person again. On dates, while males believe
that current events and their dating partner's interests are most suitable topic, most
females want to discuss about common interests among them.
 The majority of Vietnamese male students come to dating places a little
early, most of females arrive on times or a little late. Both of Vietnamese male and
female students think somewhere outdoors is an ideal place for a date.
On dates, men are responsible for paying most of the time. In Vietnam, the
majority of students date for socialization and mate selection.

5.1.2. Research question 2:

What are the similarities and differences of dating attitude among American and
Vietnamese students?
In general, Vietnamese and American students adopt dating attitude
differently in terms of age gap, directness, dating places, dating payment, and
dating purposes. Students from two cultures share similar attitudes towards
punctuality and attractive features of the opposite sex. (see more details in
"Summary of similarities and differences" in chapter 4)

5.1.3. Research question 3:

What cultural factors affecting these differences can be drawn out?
These differences among Vietnamese and American students' dating
attitudes can be explained by some cultural factors. American people seem to be
more open-minded in romantic relationships than Vietnamese. Meanwhile, in
Vietnam there is an old notion remained that a man should only date younger
women and big age gap easily lead to failure in relationships. That is why
American does not care much about age gap in dating, but Vietnamese does.
American people are also said to adopt directness in communication. That is
true in dating as well when they usually so straight to the point rather than beating
around the bush like Vietnamese way. This explains for some attitudinal
differences among Vietnamese and American in dating contacts.
 In terms of dating places, Vietnamese students tend to choose somewhere
outdoors to be close to nature and fresh air. This results from a traditional value
that Vietnamese people often wish to be in harmony with nature, which originates
from agricultural traditions.
On dates, most American people prefer splitting the bill equally because they
have strong self-reliance. They do not want to be dependent on anyone but
themselves, so it must be equal between two sexes when it comes to dating expense
payment. But Vietnamese suppose that men are more proactive than women so
they should pay for all dating expenses.
While socialization is main dating purpose of most American students, a
large number of Vietnamese think they date for mate selection. This might be
because Vietnamese people want to have a stable family life soon, and they make
use of the time at universities to try to meet different people in different settings
and to see if they are compatible with each other or not. Thanks to that, dating
helps them have long-term relationships. Meanwhile, American tend to live for
present. Their primary purpose is to have fun time together when dating and at the
same time, they can develop their social skills in different settings. Afterwards,
they might find out their soul mates among dating partners, but that is not planned
ahead.

5.2. Implication:
Theoretically, the study can supplement some aspects to studies relating to
dating attitude. Although there have been a lot of research on American dating
attitude but there is lack of studies on dating attitude among American university
students. It is also hard to find recent studies on Vietnamese dating attitude towards
attraction of the opposite sex, ways to contact in dating, punctuality, dating expense
payment and dating purposes. Moreover, this is the first time dating attitude of
American students is compared and contrasted with Vietnamese students' dating
attitude. Therefore, the research helps to uncover these sides.
Additionally, the outcome of this research can serve as reference for other
studies. There might be some researcher interested in this issue and conduct more
research on it, therefore the current study can help provide background of the issue
together with related studies so far.
Practically, in the first place, the study can raise the awareness in English
Language teaching. There has not been any practical learning materials designed
for learning English through investigating students' dating attitude. This interesting
topic is believed to attract students' attention, which inspires them to learn English
in a creative way, and to know more about cultures of English speaking countries
in general, and America in particular. Moreover, the study can be adapted to
conduct a discussion among students in cross-cultural communication classes.
Secondly, the research helps raise the awareness among American and
Vietnamese students in real-life communication. In details, they are able to access
information about dating attitude of both genders and clarify similarities and
differences between two dating cultures. By having an insight into an interesting
aspect of culture, students from two countries will enrich their communication
skills. The outcome of this study is especially useful for American students
learning in Vietnam and vice versa. Knowledge gained from this research helps
students know what they should take notice of, what their counterparts think, what
the others expect from them and what is considered to be suitable to do in a dating
relationship. Thanks to that, students will be able to avoid the breakdown of
relationships which might be caused by cultural misunderstanding in classroom
settings as well as in social settings.

5.3. Limitation of the study:

 In spite of the researcher's great effort to conduct this study in the best way,
it is inevitable to have some limitations. Firstly, limited time prevents the author
from carrying out the study more intensively. This causes some aspects of this issue
to be narrowed down. Secondly, the lack of sharply analytic and synthetic
competency hampers the researcher from achieving more hidden meanings of
collected data.
Last but not least, the deficiency of American participants at approachable
places around Hanoi limits the samplings to 32 for each country only. This might
make the results base on subjective ideas of a small percentage of American
students in Hanoi and some in America. This obstacle can be solved if the
researcher has better social contacts.

5.4. Recommendation for further studies:

Due to a lot of limitations of this study, the researcher would like to
recommend further studies to overcome its weaknesses and supplement what has
not been done in the field. Studies about dating attitude afterwards can be
conducted with bigger samplings so that the outcome will become more reliable
and applicable. Apart from some small aspects of dating attitude studied in this
research, there are many other sides to be explored, namely languages used by
males and females in dating, parental influence on youngsters' choice of dating
partners, sexual harassment in dating, or the aspect of physical contacts in dating,
which the researcher planned to put in this study but could not for several reasons.
In conclusion, the research on "A Vietnamese-American cross-cultural study
on dating attitude among college students" solved three given research questions.
However, it is far to be perfect. Therefore, the researcher expects to receive
constructive contribution from the readers.
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http://www.vietnamadventures.com/language_culture/dating.html
http://www.vietmedia.com/culture/?L=dating.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating
http://www.vietnamwomen.biz/vietnamese-courtship-customs.htm
 APPENDIX 1
Survey Questionnaire
I am To Thi Huyen Thuong, a forth- year student come from class 061E8,
English Department- HULIS- VNU. I am conducting my thesis paper whose title is
“A Vietnamese-American cross- cultural study on dating attitudes of college
students”. This study is an attempt to help college students understand more about
their own viewpoint towards dating and their dating partners’ ways of thinking as
well. Additionally, students from American and Vietnamese culture can have an
insight into an interesting aspect of culture and gain more knowledge about this
issue to fulfill their social life. This survey questionnaire aims at seeking data for
the study. All of your personal information will be kept confidentially. Your
reliable answers will be highly appreciated.
Thank you very much for your contribution!

Personal information:
1. Your gender: Male □
Female □
2. Your age:……….
3. The number of years you study at college:…….
4. Have you ever dated someone? Yes □
No □

Dating Age
Question 1: Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?
1. Definitely yes
2. Yes
3. Maybe
4. No
5. Definitely no
Question 2: Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?
1. Definitely yes
2. Yes
3. Maybe
4. No
5. Definitely no
Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?
 1. Below senior high school (<14)
2. Senior high school (14-18)
3. Post-secondary school (>18)

Attraction
Question 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?
1. Physical appearance
2. Intellect
3. Money
4. Humor
5. Personality
6. Others (please specify)..............................
Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?
1. Physical appearance
2. Intellect
3. Money
4. Humor
5. Personality
6. Others (please specify)...............................

Contact
Question 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?
4. Call him/her
5. Email him/her
6. Send messages to him/her
7. Ask him/her directly
Question 7: When you like someone, you will:
1. Ask him/her for a date right away
2. Wait for him/her to ask you for a date
3. Other (please specify)..........................................................
Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:
1. Contact him/her back later the same day
2. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back
3. Wait until he/she contacts you again
4. Other (please specify).........................................................
Question 9: When being asked for a date, you will
Give a definite yes or no
Not answer immediately
Other (please specify).........................................................
Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will
you do?
 1. Contact him/her again
2. Never contact him/her again
3. Other (please specify).........................................................

Topics

Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?
1. Current events
2. Your interests
3. His/Her interests
4. Common interests
5. Others (please specify)........................................................

Punctuality
Question 12: On dates, you arrive
on time
a little early
a little late

Dating Places
Question 13: Where is the best place for dates?
1. Theater/ Cinema
2. Restaurant
3. Somewhere outdoors (park, etc)
4. Others (please specify)......................................................

Dating Expense Payment

Question 14: Who should pay for dates?
1. person invited (male)
2. person invited (female)
3. person be invited (male)
4. person be invited (female)
5. the bill should be split equally

Dating Purposes
Question 15: What is your main purpose of dating?
1. socialization
2. recreation
3. mate selection
4. Other (please specify).........................................

Do you want to receive the outcome of the study?

If yes, please write down your email address:...............................................

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION

 APPENDIX 2
BẢNG CÂU HỎI ĐIỀU TRA
Tôi là Tô Thị Huyền Thương, sinh viên năm thứ 4,
lớp 061E8, Khoa Anh, trường Đại học Ngoại Ngữ- Đại
học Quốc gia Hà Nội. Tôi đang làm khóa luận tốt nghiệp
với nhan đề "Nghiên cứu giao thoa văn hóa Việt- Mỹ về
cách nhìn đối với việc hẹn hò của sinh viên các trường đại
học, cao đẳng". Nghiên cứu này nhằm mục đích giúp sinh
viên hiểu thêm về quan điểm, cách nhìn của chính họ và
của các người bạn khác giới về việc hẹn hò trong giới trẻ
ngày nay. Hơn nữa, sinh viên đến từ các nền văn hóa Mỹ
và văn hóa Việt Nam có thể có thêm kiến thức về một
mảng khá thú vị của văn hóa, làm giàu thêm vốn kiến thức
xã hội cho bản thân. Bảng câu hỏi điều tra này nhằm mục
đích thu thập số liệu cho nghiên cứu. Các thông tin cá
nhân của các bạn sẽ được hoàn toàn giữ bí mật.
Xin chân thành cám ơn!

Thông tin cá nhân:

1. Giới tính: Nam
Nữ
2. Tuổi:......................
3. Số năm bạn đã học ở trường đại học/cao
đẳng:.................
4. Bạn đã từng hẹn hò lần nào chưa? Rồi
Chưa

Tuổi
1. Bạn có hẹn hò với một người nhiều hơn bạn rất nhiều
tuổi không?
A. Chắc chắn có
B. Có
C. Có thể
D. Không
E. Chắc chắn không

2. Bạn có hẹn hò với một người ít hơn bạn rất nhiều tuổi
không?
A. Chắc chắn có
B. Có
C. Có thể
D. Không
E. Chắc chắn không

3. Theo bạn, tuổi thích hợp nhất để bắt đầu hẹn hò là khi
nào?
A. < 14 tuổi (chưa đến cấp học phổ thông)
B. 14-18 tuổi (học sinh phổ thông trung học)
C. > 18 tuổi (sinh viên)

Sự thu hút
4. Điểm mạnh nhất của bạn để thu hút người khác phái là
gì?
A. Ngoại hình
B. Sự thông minh
C. Tiền bạc
D. Sự hài hước
E. Tính cách
F. Những cái khác (nói rõ)...............................

5. Điểm nào của người khác phái thu hút bạn nhất?
A, Ngoại hình
B. Sự thông minh
C. Tiền bạc
D. Sự hài hước
E. Tính cách
F. Những cái khác (nói rõ).................................
Liên lạc/Giao tiếp
6. Theo bạn, cách tốt nhất để mời một người đi chơi là gì?
A. Gọi điện cho người ấy
B. Viết email cho người ấy
C. Gửi tin nhắn cho người ấy
D. Mời người ấy trực tiếp

7. Khi bạn thích một người nào đó, bạn sẽ:

A. Mời ngay người đó đi chơi với bạn
B. Đợi người đó mời bạn đi chơi

8. Nếu một người bạn thích liên lạc với bạn, bạn sẽ:
A. Liên lạc lại ngay trong cùng ngày hôm đó
B. Đợi một vài ngày sau rồi mới liên lạc lại
C. Đợi cho đến khi người đó liên lạc tiếp với bạn

9. Khi được mời đi chơi, bạn sẽ

A. Trả lời rõ ràng ngay là đồng ý hay không đồng ý
B. Không trả lời ngay

10. Nếu bạn mời ai đó đi chơi nhưng người ấy từ chối,

bạn sẽ:
A. Liên lạc lại để mời
B. Không bao giờ mời nữa

Chủ đề
11. Theo bạn, trong các cuộc hẹn hò thì chủ đề phù hợp
nhất để nói chuyện là gì?
A. Các sự kiện đang diễn ra
B. Các mối quan tâm của bạn
C. Các mối quan tâm của người ấy
D. Các mối quan tâm chung
E. Những cái khác (nói rõ)............................
Thời gian
12. Trong các cuộc hẹn hò, bạn nên đến:
A. Đúng giờ
B. Sớm một chút
C. Muộn một chút

Địa điểm
13. Theo bạn, nơi nào là phù hợp nhất cho một cuộc hẹn
A. Rạp chiếu phim
B. Nhà hàng/quán ăn
C. Một địa điểm ngoài trời (như công viên)
D. Những nơi khác (xin nói rõ)................................
Thanh toán
14. Theo bạn, ai nên trả tiền trong các cuộc hẹn? (bạn có
thể chọn nhiều hơn một)
A. Người mời là nữ
B. Người mời là nam
C. Người được mời là nữ
D. Người được mời là nam
E. Chia đôi hóa đơn
Mục đích
15. Mục đích của việc hẹn hò của bạn là gì?
A. Giao lưu, hòa nhập xã hội
B. Giải trí
C. Lựa chọn bạn đời
D. Những lý do khác (xin chỉ rõ)..........................

CÁM ƠN CÁC BẠN ĐÃ HỢP TÁC!

Link to the online survey questionnaire:
http://FreeOnlineSurveys.com/rendersurvey.asp?
sid=ig2uudvzyjyat1l742502

APPENDIX 3
 Interview Questions

1. Are you dating? Or have you ever dated? What do you

do? Where do you meet?
2. Do you think it is all right to date without commitment?
(date just for entertainment or recreation)
3. What is your main purpose of dating? (socialization/
recreation/ mate selection/ others)
4. In your culture, who usually pays for dates? men or
women? On your own dates, who usually pays for dates?
5. In your opinion, what is best age to have first date?
Why? At what age do people in your country often have
first date?
6. What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for
most? Please state your reasons.
7. When being asked for a date, you will give a definite
yes/no or you won't answer immediately (or other choice)?
Why?
8. When you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she
refuses, what will you do?