THE UNPOSTED LETTER

One call

That's all it took

To change my life, to shatter my world

Is it possible to feel hollow

and yet, every part hurting

like a million knives cutting into me

And yet to feel numb,

no feeling at all.

Realization has not yet hit me

I can't believe you're gone

It's unreal

I just can't come to terms with it

with the fact that I'll never see you again,

never hear your voice, never see your smile again

never see you deep in your sanskrit books

or walking around the compound, or tending to your garden

or sitting on the bench out front, scratching kuttan.

Never again...

I remember the letter I wrote,

but never posted.

It lies in my desk

I cannot express the regret I feel;

The regret that seeps through my every vein, 

burning me from inside

The regret of not posting it

of postponing it

That maybe, it would've been the last letter.

But I didn't.

I'm sorry.