The Essential Parent Care Guide

Tips for Happy, Healthy Caring

The Essential Parent Care Guide was written for all Adult Children who have aging loved ones. Within a matter of minutes you will glean important information that will get you moving in the right direction, take some of the mystery out of the aging process, and give you and your loved ones resources for a better quality of life. I would suggest that you save this E-book in a file on your computer so that you can click on the links and view information that will be helpful to you, then print the E-book out for a hardcopy point of reference. Please keep in mind that educating yourself early and being proactive when it comes to making decisions about your loved ones future will go a long way towards happier and healthier aging for your entire family! Warm Regards, Viva! Choices 9298 Larkin Rd. Live Oak, CA 95953 (530) 713-0707 Summer Jackson CEO

Copyright 2009 Viva! Choices, Inc.

10 Essential Parent Care Tips Included in this Guide:

1. Take Care of Yourself First! You have to be healthy to give good care to your loved one Your Mind Your Body Your Spirit Family & Friends Community If you are in a Crisis page 4 page 6 page 7 page 7 page 8 page 9

2. Get Information and Resources that will Help You to Take Better Care of Your Loved One Your Loved Ones Mind page 12 Your Loved Ones Body page 12 Your Loved Ones Spirit page 15 Prescriptions & Doctors page 16 Notes for You page 17 Communication page 18 Family & Friends page 18 Important Information page 19 3. Find Services That Can Help You to Take Care of Your Loved One Long Distance Page 21 4. Learn to Communicate Page 24 5. Make sure that you Know about the Federal Health and Assistance Programs Available to Your Loved One Page 27 6. Build Your Team of Professionals Page 29 7. Learn How to Make the Right Decision When You Think Your Loved One Needs More Care Page 32 8. Investigate the Equipment and Technology Options That Can Help Keep Your Loved One Independent and Living in His or Her Home Page 34 9. Be Very Creative and Persistent Learn How to be Frugal and Save Money Page 37 10. Be Prepared for the Unexpected Page 41 2

Tip #1 Take Care of Yourself!

You have to be healthy to give good care to your loved one.

Snapshot
Take care of yourself first pg 4 Practice self respect on a daily basis pg 5 What to do about burnout pg 5 Where to go when you are feeling all alone pg 7 Organize a group to help you care for your loved one - pg 9 What to do if you are in a Crisis pg 9

If you arent caring for a loved one today, it is very likely that you will care for someone in some capacity, in your lifetime. This e-book was written to give those who are caring, or will be caring for a parent or loved one, short helpful tips that can be used as a point of reference, as well as information via links to other sites that will prove to be very helpful and will save you time. By now, no matter what level of care you are providing for a family member or friend, you may be realizing that the journey you are embarking on will change your life. Please be aware that you are not alone. There are approximately 64 million people in the United States who are Caregivers on some level, whether it be simply taking mom or dad to the doctor and other appointments because they dont drive anymore, or taking care of a loved one on a full time basis. In order to keep things simple, I refer to all people who are caring for a loved one in any capacity as a Caregiver in this guide. It is estimated that the economic value of the unpaid services provided loved ones by informal Caregivers (family, friends, and neighbors) is approximately $306 Billion, making informal Caregiving one of the most honorable and much needed professions in society today.

Take Care of Yourself Because YOU are VERY IMPORTANT!

Your Mind 1. Start out by being open minded, realistic and giving thought to your parent/s and other aging relatives future. Being proactive and prepared can make life transitions easier for both the Caregiver and the person receiving care. 2. Try to think of your Caregiving responsibilities as a challenge in terms of how you deal with making decisions. Think outside of the box and look at things from different perspectives, be creative. This can give you a feeling of having more control of the situation, which will reduce stress. 3. Take care of yourself first. If you are in poor health, you wont be able to give proper care to your loved one. Visit the Family Caregiver Alliance @ www.caregiver.org to read about the impact Caregiving can have on your physical and mental health. A few things to be aware of are: Caregiving can have debilitating mental health effects and serious physical health consequences including increased blood pressure and insulin levels, an impaired immune system and an increased risk for cardiovascular disease.

4.

Read, print and post in a prominent place, the Caregivers Bill of Rights http://www.caregiver.com/articles/caregiver/caregiver_bill_of_rights.htm.
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5.

Practice self respect on a daily basis. There is no disgrace in setting boundaries. Say to yourself I will not listen to, do, or be a party to anything that is not comfortable for me. Do not succumb to criticism, guilt-provoking statements or threats.

6. It is okay to say no, no matter what your loved ones circumstances. There are always alternative ways to handle circumstances. 7. See a therapist (MFCC or Clinical Psychologist) if you feel that talking with someone who can give you some perspective would help. Dont carry anger, negative emotions around that you dont know what to do with. This can really hurt your health. 8. Avoid burnout at all costs. You cant take care of yourself or anyone else if you are overwhelmed, depressed and not able to function. A few things to try for some relief: Read a magazine or a chapter in your favorite book Enjoy a bubble bath or shower with music and candles Play with your dog or cat and take them for a walk Watch a movie you havent seen, one that will keep your attention Call a friend If you play a musical instrument, spend some time playing 9. Write your thoughts down in a journal every day. Writing can be very healing.

10.

If you are feeling depressed, stressed or upset at your circumstances, consider learning more about the things you can do for yourself by learning to take care of your mind. Many of us have never learned how to think properly, and depression for example can be a direct result of how we think. Disease can also be a result of improper thinking. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. believes that when you change your brain you change your life. Visit Amen Clinics online http://www.amenclinics.com/ to learn more. Consider purchasing his book, Magnificent Mind at Any Age, for yourself and your loved one. The book I used to re-train my brain so that I would not be depressed, have better relationships and greater self esteem back in the early 90s was Dr. David Burns 10 Days to Self Esteem http://www.feelinggood.com/books.htm#book_ten_days. What I would like to impress upon you is the fact that you really can change the way you feel emotionally and physically and how you feel about your circumstances, relationships and life, but you will have to do the work, no one else can do it for you. Both of these resources are a fabulous place for you to start.

Your Body 1. Eat right and take at least a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement daily. Experiment with eating less meat and more fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables. Try to always start your day with a good breakfast. Buy a new cook book that promotes healthy cooking and recipes. Want to know the amount of each food group you need daily? Visit http://mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx - MyPyramid Plan @ United States Department of Agriculture. Fill out the questionnaire for your loved one as well. 2. Check out the Healthy Body Calculator on this site http://www.dietitian.com/calcbody.php. 3. If you would like to see a health practitioner who will truly be a partner with you and will be invested in keeping you healthy, consider setting an appointment with a Naturopath. Visit the Naturopathic Association to find out if there is a Naturopath in your area http://www.naturopathic.org/.

4.

If you have an exercise regimen, stick with it. If you have not been exercising, start. One step at a time, you dont have to run a marathon. Take a nice brisk walk for 20-30 minutes daily and you will begin to feel much better.

5. Drink plenty of water. The body is 87% water, keeping well hydrated and knowing what and when to drink are essential to your health. 6. Get some sunlight at some point during the day. Sunlight is extremely important for the bodys metabolism and hormonal balance. 7. When feeling stressed, go out and get some fresh air. Sit in a chair and take a moment for yourself. Do this as often as needed throughout your day. 8. Get a good nights sleep. Skip watching television or surfing the internet etc. until late at night and get yourself in a regular routine. Try for 6-8 hours of sleep every night, depending on how much you feel that you need. If you arent sleeping well, try natural sleeping remedies first before those with alcohol and drugs. 9. Remember to take care of your back; you may be using it in ways that you arent accustomed to on a daily basis. Lift only as much as you can comfortably handle. Always let your loved

one know what you are going to do. Bend your knees. Use your legs instead of your back. See a Chiropractor on a regular basis. 10. Consider buying Life Insurance for you, and if you are married, your spouse. Visit The Insurance Information Institute at http://www.iii.org/individuals/life/basics/whybuy/ to read about the benefits. 11. Longevity Insurance is also good to look in for a set amount of monthly income beginning in later life http://www.usnews.com/blogs/the-best-life/2009/05/01/is-longevity-insuranceright-for-you.html. Your Spirit 1. Take care of your spirit. Read, pray and spend time with God, you will feel revived. If you havent read the Bible, consider doing so, it is a wonderful book, full of History, Gods Word and lots of Inspiration. Remember that God loves you! 2. Do something special for yourself at least once a month. Buy a new book, get a massage, go shopping, get a manicure and pedicure, go dancing, whatever it is that makes you feel good. 3. Stay in touch with friends and other family members who care about you. Schedule a time weekly to meet with friends, if only for a short cup of coffee. 4. Reach out and know that you are not alone. Visit sites like www.Agingcare.com, www.Caring.com, www.familycaregiving101.org, www.caregiver.com and others to read, learn and blog about your experiences. 5. Dont let anything or anyone or any circumstance take away your dreams. Write them down and think of them daily. 6. Make regular plans for short trips, and make sure to go.

Family & Friends 1. Share your Caregiving experiences with your children. Tell them why you are caring for your loved one, what the responsibilities are and how you feel about it. It is good for your children to be aware of how aging affects all people because it is highly likely that they will be caring for a loved one at some time in their life as well. In fact, get your children involved,
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visit Agingcare.com @ http://www.agingcare.com/Featured-Stories/133410/An-Addition-toYour-Caregiving-Team.htm to learn more. 2. If you are married, be aware of the effect that Caregiving can have on your relationship with your spouse. Make sure to keep communicating no matter how you feel. Include your spouse in the Caregiving effort when possible, this helps your spouse to see firsthand what your Caregiving responsibilities are, and it helps them to develop empathy. Visit caring.com for some helpful information on keeping your marriage together http://www.caring.com/articles/care-couples. 3. Get a professional portrait done of your parents and if possible your entire family, as soon as possible. In the future you will be really glad that you did.

Community 1. If and when people do offer to help, take them up on the offer and tell them exactly what they can do to help.

2.

Look for support groups in your area. Most programs are provided through voluntary agencies (e.g. the Alzheimers Association or the American Cancer Society) or through limited state programs funded under Title iii of the Older Americans Act, Medicaid waivers, or state general funds. To find support groups in your area, look in the yellow pages, talk to your loved ones doctor, or call your local Area Agency on Aging, senior center, senior services organizations, hospital social work units or county information and referral service. If you cant find a group that you feel is right for you, consider starting one yourself http://www.howtocare.com/support_groups.htm.

3.

If you are employed, talk to your employer about Caregiving employee benefits. Would it be possible for you to have a more flexible schedule or work from home? Does the company you work for have an Eldercare program that you can tap into to find out about additional options and resources? Visit the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission at http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiver-best-practices.html for more information.

4. Respite care is the provision of short-term, temporary relief to those who are caring for family members. Reward yourself with respite care on a regular basis. Find out your options before you become exhausted, isolated, or overwhelmed. Anticipating relief can be a lifesaver. When you set up respite care, you will have someone to share the responsibility of
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Caregiving with and you will get support for yourself as well. If you do not have anyone that you know personally that can help you, contact a local in-home care company to discuss respite care options with them. 5. Sign up for Red Cross Family Caregiving classes if they are available in your community http://www.redcross.org/portal/site/en/menuitem.d229a5f06620c6052b1ecfbf43181aa0/?vg nextoid=58d2914124dbe110VgnVCM10000089f0870aRCRD&vgnextchannel=bf970c45f663b1 10VgnVCM10000089f0870aRCRD If you are in a Crisis 1. Remember, how you look at this stage of your life, and the attitude you choose to have about it will shape how easily you transition to a more stable point in your life. 2. Aging is a normal progression in life. Just as you more than likely have had to learn many things about raising your children, you will need to learn things about helping your aging parent/loved one to age with the best quality of life possible. 3. Follow as many of the tips under Mind, Body and Spirit as possible. 4. See your doctor immediately for a checkup and to share with him or her that you are under a tremendous amount of stress. It is important to monitor your health during a crisis. Your doctor may have some helpful suggestions. 5. If you attend a church you may find it helpful to make an appointment with someone to talk and to spend time in prayer. 6. Locate your Local Area on Aging Information and Assistance office to find out what resources are available in your area http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Home.aspx. 7. Ask about local support groups that you can attend. Even if the support group is for a different type of medical condition than your loved one has, you should consider attending because everyone there will understand what you are going through and will be supportive. 8. If you feel that one on one attention would be good, see a Therapist. 9. Consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager who can assess your loved ones situation and recommend resources.
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10. If you know of someone who has been caring for an aging loved one, call them and talk. This can be quite helpful. 11. If you are caring for someone who is very ill and you feel like your life is falling apart, or someone who has a demanding illness has just turned to you for help and you are afraid, take a moment right now to go to http://www.sharethecare.org/ to learn about their wonderful handbook called Share the Care. Read through the summary of the chapters and how the Share the Care concept came about. Share the Care will help you to organize a group to help. It is amazing how people do really want to help, how they get a blessing out of helping you simply need to avail yourself of some helpful insight to get the ball rolling in the right direction.

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Tip #2 Get Information and Resources that will help you to Take Better Care of your Loved One

Snapshot
Steps to Independent living - pg 12 Do everything you can to prevent falls pg 12 Making sure that your loved ones home is accessible pg 13 The importance of hydration for your loved ones health - pg 14 Tools to help you manage your loved ones prescriptions pg 16 Helpful information on family meetings pg 19
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Take Care of Your loved One

The best time to have a conversation with your loved one about Eldercare is right now, today, before your loved one is unable to do so. Explain to your loved one that talking about his or her wishes today, will go a long way towards actually getting those wishes met. Keep in mind that the toughest part of having these proactive conversations with your loved one is initiating the conversation; it gets much easier from there.

Your Loved Ones Mind 1. Help your loved one to think through the next steps and plan for independent living by answering the questions at www.Lifeline-ILA.com. Your loved one will answer a series of 7-12 questions on performing daily tasks which will be automatically evaluated. An individualized report will be sent to you via email giving you a score for each of the three functional areas describing the implications of the scores for independent living. 2. Visit Gilbert Guide to access a directory of Geriatric Care managers that can help you to develop a Customized Care Plan for your loved one http://www.gilbertguide.com/seniorcare-directory/geriatric-care-managers.html. 3. Allow your loved one to express anger in appropriate ways.

4.

Arts and crafts are wonderful for your loved ones dexterity and mental acumen. Bring friends over to paint, bead, do puzzles, collect stamps, story tell and socialize together.

5. Do crossword puzzles together. Frame the ones that turn out really good. 6. Take your loved one to a place where he/she can make pottery and socialize with others. 7. Buy some brain training games for you and your loved one to help maintain memory http://www.lumosity.com/landing/l_improve_memory?refer=787&gclid=CKTzh7qrq5oCF QkzawodOQ780Q.

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Your Loved Ones Body 1. Go to AARP for Caregiver Information and Checklists including a Preventing Falls Checklist. Keep in mind that it is extremely important for you to do everything in your power to keep your loved one from falling. Falling can many times cause your loved ones health to go from stable to critical, and many people experience lasting diminished health as a result http://assets.aarp.org/external_sites/caregiving/preparing/preventing_falls.html a Home Safety Checklist http://assets.aarp.org/external_sites/caregiving/checklists/checklist_homeSafety.html Housing Options http://assets.aarp.org/external_sites/caregiving/options/index.html and Lighting Your Home for Safety http://assets.aarp.org/external_sites/caregiving/preparing/lighting_your_home.html .

2.

Make sure your loved ones home is accessible for him or her. Learn about Aging in Place and how you can implement some of the more basic strategies today. Check out these tips for creating an accessible home at http://www.aarp.org/family/housing/articles/accessible_homes.html. Also go to the National Aging in Place Council http://www.naipc.org/ to look around and get a better feel of what Aging in Place is all about. Think about how you can begin to make your own home accessible for your future.

3. The National Association of Home Builders trains contractors to be Certified Aging in Place Specialists. Go to their site at http://www.nahb.org/directory.aspx?sectionID=1391&directoryID=1415 to see if there is a Certified Aging in Place Specialist in your area. Get a great aging in place design checklist here http://www.toolbase.org/Home-Building-Topics/Universal-Design/aging-in-placechecklists. 4. TheTufts Modified MyPyramid for Older Adults will help you to make sure that your loved one eats right and gets the proper nutrients. Visit http://nutrition.tufts.edu/1197972031385/Nutrition-Page-nl2w_1198058402614.html to get the information you need. Consider a good multi-vitamin when your loved one isnt eating properly, but remember to check with their physician first. 5. Help your loved one to take care of his or her skin. Skin becomes thin and less elastic with age. The more fragile skin will bruise more easily. Skin becomes drier and may wrinkle with less oil production. Age spots and skin tags are also more common.

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6.

It seems the older we get, the less we want to drink water, but hydration is critical for your loved one to stay healthy. Try to minimize your loved ones intake of caffeine, it is dehydrating. Here is information from NaturoDoc on why you and your loved one should be drinking plenty of water and how to calculate how much water you and your loved one need to drink http://www.naturodoc.com/library/nutrition/water.htm.

7. Agingcare.com has a great article about what you can do when your loved one doesnt want to bathe or take a shower http://www.agingcare.com/FeaturedStories/133877/Dad-Won-t-Shower-or-Change-His-Clothes-What-Do-I-Do.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=May+06%2c+2009&utm_ campaign=Newsletter%2B-%2BMay+06%2c+2009. 8. When your loved one has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition, visit these sites Alzheimers http://www.alz.org/index.asp, Diabetes http://www.diabetes.org/, Stroke http://www.stroke.org/site/PageNavigator/HOME, Cancer http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp, or Heart Disease http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=1200000.

9.

If your loved one has a disability, dispel false assumptions about living with a physical disability. The key issue when dealing with an elders physical disability is not the persons age, but the duration of the disability. Understand that living with a disability does not necessarily mean that your loved one is living with sickness and be aware that your loved ones quality of life will definitely be determined by you and your familys attitude towards the disability.

10. Remember, your loved one is the best expert on his or her body; it is to your advantage to remain flexible and let your relative advise you as to what he or she needs. 11. Practice deep breathing exercises with your loved one on a daily basis. Spend time outside when possible, your loved one needs fresh air as well. 12. Get your loved one a manicure and pedicure. If your loved one cant go to a salon, see if you can find someone to come to the house, if not, do it yourself. Pedicures are very important for your loved ones health and it will help your loved one to continue to walk and feel comfortable in his or her shoes.

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13. Be creative about exercise for your loved one. Give him or her a plan for daily activities including stretching, bending, grasping, walking, chopping and cutting food, setting the table, rearranging the contents of drawers and cabinets or folding the laundry http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/exerciseforseniors.html.

14.

If your loved one has a wheelchair, push it outside for exercise when the weather is good. Include friends who also have loved ones in wheelchairs. The fresh air is great for both you and your loved one.

15. If your loved one is still able to get in the bathtub, draw a warm bath in the evening for him/her to enjoy. A back rub can be nice once in awhile as well. 16. If you are traveling more than a short distance, it is a good idea to have your loved one sit in the back seat. Automobile airbags are very dangerous when deployed in an accident and could prove to be very harmful to your loved one. 17. If you loved one spends a lot of time in bed, you need to be aware of ways to prevent bedsores because they are easier to prevent than to heal. Clare Absher RN has some great tips on prevention http://www.carepathways.com/cto14.cfm.

Your Loved Ones Spirit 1. Find out what your loved ones spiritual needs are. Maintaining religious and spiritual connections as we age provides an unfailing source of support. Find out what local congregations are offering which may include prayer groups, bible study groups, counseling and socializing and see what your loved one would like to participate in. If going to a church is not possible, see if you can find a service on the television or on-line. 2. Be good to each other and be forgiving. Say I love you frequently.

3.

Pets are incredible comfort and company for aging loved ones! If your loved one wants a pet and the circumstances will allow it, go to your local SPC, visit this website - Pets for seniors http://www.petsforseniors.org/, or find a pet in your local newspaper.

4. Garden together. Plant flowers, vegetables and fruit in the ground or containers. Digging in the dirt is wonderful therapy for you and your loved one http://www.greenweb.com.au/garden/html/seniors_garden.html.
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5. Listen to music instead of watching television once in awhile. Find a station that plays music from your loved ones past and see who can remember the song names and who sang them. 6. Take your loved one out to lunch with friends when possible once a month or so, and try to take your loved one to visit friends when they are in senior communities. Play an active role in helping to keep your loved one in touch with friends and family via the telephone, mail or email. Hold yearly celebrations for everyone, invite family and friends. Celebrate your loved ones life while they are still alive! Prescriptions and Doctors 1. Manage your loved ones prescriptions. Make sure to take a list of the prescriptions being taken to the doctors, every visit. Never assume that your loved ones doctors are aware of all of the prescriptions being taken. If your loved one takes medications at any time without your being there, make sure that the pills are clearly marked so he or she will know what pills to take. Also, make sure to keep all medications in a safe container/place that is not near toxic substances. As an example, it is very easy for someone to swallow items like hearing aid batteries, etc when they are on a shelf with medications. Here is some information from the Generic Pharmaceutical Association on how to discuss your prescriptions with your doctor or pharmacist, and some great Medicine Record Instructions and Forms from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/ResourcesForYou/ucm079489.htm. 2. If your loved one takes a lot of prescriptions and is confused and acting differently than usual, you may want to speak with their doctor about possibly taking him or her off the medications that arent completely necessary and re-introducing them one at a time. It is possible that your loved one could have an allergy to one of the medications, or that he or she is having a reaction to the combination of medication being taken. Check out the side effects and names (generic as well) of all prescriptions being taken by going to http://www.drugs.com/, or buy a Reference manual like the Physicians Desk Reference manual http://www.pdrhealth.com/home/home.aspx.

3.

Become a smart health consumer for your loved one and yourself. Before the appointment describe the pain and put it in writing. What is hurting? What does the pain feel like aching, shooting burning? Do pain killing medications work? Does the pain change when lying down?

4. Bring notes to the appointment and take notes while you are there.
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5. Attend all appointments with your loved one. Bring their medical history and list of prescriptions with you. 6. Ask questions and make sure that you understand the answers. Dont stop asking until you fully understand, your understanding will really help your loved one. 7. Start by telling the doctor what your most important concern is prioritize your loved ones health concerns. 8. Retain copies of all medical tests and make sure to ask for interpretation when needed. 9. Make sure to stay informed by watching medical programming on the television, reading articles on the internet and attending classes and health fairs.

10.

Get second or third opinions when you arent comfortable with a diagnosis.

11. Manage your loved ones doctors and specialists by making sure that an appointment is made when your loved one needs it. If you think that something serious is going on and you cannot get an appointment with your loved ones doctor, dont hesitate to go to the emergency room. 12. When your loved one is in the hospital, manage his or her care. Ask questions and get to know the hospital personnel taking care of your loved one. Request more pain medication when your loved one needs it, monitor the food he or she is eating and make sure that your loved one is getting bathed on a regular basis. Determine how your loved one will pay for the hospital stay and moreread 7 steps to take when your elderly parent is suddenly hospitalized http://www.agingcare.com/Featured-Stories/134031/7-Steps-to-Take-When-Your-ElderlyParent-is-Suddenly-Hospitalized.htm. 13. Your loved ones dental hygiene is very important. Improper care of teeth and gums can lead to disease and potential heart problems. Schedule regular check-ups. 14. Schedule regular eye care exams as well.

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Notes for You

1. Everyone has a future!! Your loved one is going through the transitions of aging, but this does not mean that anyone has the right to treat him/her like their life is over. 2. Be flexible and creative. Understand that your plans may not always work. 3. Adjust your attitude to get through tough times. There will be times when caring for your family member will be overwhelming and extremely frustrating. Make sure you ask for and accept plenty of help from others. Then take a moment to look at life from your loved ones perspective. 4. Write everything down. Put dates on all notes and correspondence. Record goals, plans, ideas, phone numbers, promises and appointments and keep them in a convenient, accessible location. An alternate option is to buy a mini tape recorder where you can record everything and have it for reference, if you are short on time. 5. Keep all notes, letters, brochures and all other Eldercare related information in a safe, twenty four hour accessible place. Create a system that makes it easy for you to find information and answers when you need them. 6. Always give yourself time to make important decisions. Gather information, do research, create new options, then sleep on it before making decisions. If your loved one is still able to participate in decision making, make sure that you work together to come to the best decision based on what your loved ones wishes are. 7. Treat your loved one as if he or she has a lot of life left to live. Put on your filtered glasses when it comes to age and try to have fun as often as possible.

Communication 1. Talk with your loved one about their financial circumstances or investigate to determine your loved ones financial condition. You need to be aware of where they are financially so that you can help them to plan ahead.

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2. Tell your loved one never to share personal information on the telephone. Suggest that he or she always tells whoever is on the phone that their daughter, son etc. will be glad to speak with them if they wish.

Family and Friends 1. Remember, this is the perfect time for making memories. Maximize the time spent with your loved ones family and friends. Take pictures and put them in scrapbooks and frames. Pull them out frequently to discuss the good times.

2. Another way to spend quality time with your loved one is to let them reminisce, recalling warm memories from their past. Times with friends, special days and events, moments of insight and the relationships that have made life worthwhile. Tape record, video or at least take notes while your loved one is sharing these wonderful memories. Go through old photo books together asking who is this? When was this taken? What were the circumstances? Etc. 3. When you have a friend who is a Caregiver, consider having your friend care for both loved ones one week and you the next. This can give you both some much needed time off. 4. Call family meetings on a regular basis to make sure that family members work together with you cooperatively. The more people participating in care, the less alone you will feel. Think about the things that your family members like to do, and give them assignments using those skills. Break down what needs to be done and try to make things fun. Involve your loved one in getting other family members on board. Helpful information on family meetings http://www.ec-online.net/Knowledge/Articles/familymeetings.html and http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=475.

Important Information 1. If your loved one still drives, take frequent rides with him/her to determine if they are safe on the road. As we age, our eyesight begins to get worse and our reflexes get slower, so at some point it may be necessary to suggest to your loved one that they not drive any more. This can be very difficult to do so visit http://www.nsc.org/Pages/SeniorDriverstoIncrease70OverNext20Years.aspx and http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/caregiving-insights/transportation for more information.
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2. If your loved one talks of suicide, take it seriously. Do not ignore what your loved one is saying. Tell your loved one that you are going to contact the appropriate professional to get them help today, and do it. 3. Make sure that your loved one has a current will or living trust and that an attorney has been involved in the process. You do not want to be in the position of having to let the state make important family decisions. Read why you should consider hiring an attorney here at http://resources.lawinfo.com/en/Articles/Estate-Planning/Federal/how-to-decide-if-youneed-a-trust-and-estates.html. 4. Reverse Mortgages are definitely not right for every situation, but if your loved one owns a home free and clear or with a small mortgage balance, a Reverse Mortgage may be just what is needed to get much needed home repairs, medical expenses or home modifications taken care of. AARP has great information including a Reverse Mortgage Fact Sheet, 5 questions to ask when considering a Reverse Mortgage and a 44 page pamphlet entitled Reverse Mortgage Loans Borrowing Against Your Home http://www.aarp.org/money/credit-loansdebt/reverse_mortgages/ . You can now purchase a home with a reverse mortgage. 5. Visit this great site that has links to Elder Care websites for Senior Citizens http://www.dkg.net/senior_links.html. 6. A conservatorship is a court process that grants one or more persons the authority to make financial or health care decisions for another because of a mental or physical incapacity that renders a person unable to make informed and sound decisions. Please note that a properly executed durable power of attorney that was created before any signs of mental incapacity have developed or a power of attorney for health care decisions may eliminate the need for court intervention.

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Tip #3 Find Services That Can Help You to Take Care of Your Loved One Long Distance

Snapshot
Regular telephone calls can make all the difference pg 22 Identify someone who you can trust to check in with your loved one pg 22 Locate the Caregiver services where your loved one lives pg 22 What you should do with utilities and bills paid on a regular basis pg 23 The Metlife Study of Long Distance Caregiving pg 23

21

Taking Care of Your Loved One - Long Distance

1. Call and talk with your loved one on a regular basis. If there is a specific day and time that you know you can call every week, do it. Your loved one will appreciate having your call to look forward to. 2. Visit your loved one and identify someone you can trust to check-in on a regular basis and to be available for emergencies. 3. Purchase a Personal Emergency Response system for your loved one and make sure that he or she understands that it should be worn all of the time, even in the shower. 4. Enroll your loved one in a friendly visitors program where available. 5. Locate the Caregiver services in your community by calling your local Area Agency on Aging, senior center, senior services organization, county information and referral service, University Gerontology Department, family service, or hospital social work unit for contact suggestions start here: http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Home.aspx.

6.

If your family member is or was a member of an organization such as the Elks, Eagles, or Moose Lodges, check into whether they can offer some assistance. This help may take the form of phone check-ins, home visits or transportation.

7. When you think that your loved one needs someone to do telephone check-ins, call the local Area Agency on Aging, religious groups, senior center and other public organizations to see who offers a telephone reassurance program. 8. If your loved one needs transportation, check into the community transportation services where your loved one lives. Many community transportation services are free for your loved one, while others may have a nominal fee or ask for a donation. The local Area Agency on Aging can help you to locate transportation to and from adult day care, senior centers, shopping malls and doctors appointments. 9. Make arrangements with utilities for third party notification if the bill is late or hasnt been paid.

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10. Set up auto payment for as many of your loved ones bills as is possible, if they are in agreement.

11.

Consider adding mother-in-law quarters, or when possible a guest (parent) house (make sure that everything is accessible) for your loved one. If it isnt the right time to sell a home that your loved one owns, think about renting it for awhile.

12. Make informed decisions regarding your loved ones affairs. Ask yourself; what are the pros and cons of every situation. 13. Hire a Geriatric Care Manager to manage your loved ones care and aging. Find one in the area where your loved one lives at http://www.caremanager.org/. 14. If you are caring from a distance, read Miles Away - The Metlife Study of Long Distance Caregiving http://www.caregiving.org/data/milesaway.pdf.

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Tip #4 Learn to Communicate

Snapshot
Listen. Learn how to express your feelings appropriately pg 25 Set a standard of communication that will free you from frustration and guilt pg 25 The importance of understanding what your loved one is going through pg 25 Learn about The Parent Care Conversation a wonderful book that will help you to better communicate with your loved one pg 25
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Learn to Communicate!
1. Listen. Listen. Listen. When you are upset or angry with your loved one, tell him or her. Do this by starting with statements such as I feel like you dont consider my feelings, etc. Stay away from blaming, accusing and hurling statements that can be very hurtful. Try to teach your loved one to do the same. 2. It is critical that you learn to communicate with your loved one. You need to understand that youre caring for their life, not yours and that your loved one is not a child. http://www.aginghomehealthcare.com/communicating-with-aging-parents.html. 3. Set a standard for communication that frees you from frustration and guilt. Teach your loved one and practice it daily! Begin to try this out with your children and spouse as well. Make sure to hold capable loved ones accountable for what they say and do. There is a wonderful article on communicating with your loved one as well as others on the American Heart Association's website at http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3039982. 4. Understand what the person you are caring for is going through. They may be feeling frustrated because they cant drive any longer, or do many of the things they used to be able to do for themselves. Your loved one may be spending a lot of time thinking about what they have contributed to society. They may also be fearful of being alone and at the end of their life.

5.

Think about purchasing The Parent Care Conversation, a wonderful book on communicating with your loved one. In his book, Dan Taylor, a 20 year veteran of the financial services industry, an attorney and president of his own North Carolina-based advisory firm shows you how to approach and deal with six important conversations with aging parents http://www.amazon.com/Parent-Care-Conversation-StrategiesAgingParents/dp/0143037641.

6. When your loved one isn't very loveable visit http://www.thefamilycaregiver.org/pdfs/LovedOneIsNotLovable.pdf. 7. Do not expect anyone to ask if you need help. Do not be afraid to be assertive, ask when you need help! Think about hiring a counselor for the whole family to learn how to better communicate with one another.
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8. As a Caregiver, be aware of the term substitute decision making. Your loved one needs to make the decisions as to who will make important medical and financial decisions for him/her, if these decisions havent already been made. You must communicate with your loved one to make sure that he or she has a Power of Attorney, a Durable Medical Power of Attorney or Living Will; Advance Directives, all notarized by a Notary Public. 9. Daily there are new and exciting ways for family members to stay connected and informed about what is going on with a loved one who is ill. This site is for families who have a loved one that has been diagnosed with cancer - www.CaringBridge.org http://www.caringbridge.org/landing/cancer/dual?g=AgingCare&an=Be+There+For+Her&k=3 00x250 .

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Tip #5 Make sure that you know about the Federal Health and Assistance Programs Available to Your Loved One

Snapshot
Supplemental Security Income (SSI), what it is and where to go for more information pg 28 Information on Medigap Supplemental Policies pg 28 What Medicaid is and information on spending down to receive benefits for long term care pg 28

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Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid

1. Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is a federal program administered by the Social Security Administration which provides income assistance to aged, blind and disabled persons who do not own property or have a lot of income. The SSI program provides monthly cash payment to those individuals who meet income and eligibility criteria. Essentially, the program guarantees a certain income to an individual or couple. SSI will provide supplemental payments so that the total income for an individual or couple will equal the guaranteed amount. For more information visit http://www.ssa.gov/ssi/. 2. Medicare is our countrys Health Insurance Program for people 65 or older. Medicare does not cover all medical expenses or the cost of most long-term care. The different parts of Medicare include Parts A, B and D. Visit the Medicare Information website at http://www.medicare.gov/ to get more information. 3. Medigap supplemental policies offered by Private Insurance Companies are designed to close some gaps in Medicare Coverage. Medigap policies may help pay certain fees, such as copayments and deductibles, as well as the portion of the doctors bills not paid by Medicare. There are two main types of policies: Medigap and Medicare Advantage. Medicare Advantage is often called Medicare Part C because people with Medicare Parts A and B can choose to receive all of their health care services through a Private Insurance Company under Part C. Make sure that you know what company your loved one has their Medigap or Medicare Advantage insurance through. This is a highly marketed product, and it may be that your loved one has two policies and doesnt even know it. Visit http://www.medicare.gov/medigap/Default.asp for more information. 4. Medicaid is a joint Federal and State program funded by income tax dollars that provides payment for certain individuals who have low income and limited assets. Benefits can include: Prescriptions, Doctor Visits, Hospital Stays, Lab work, Adult Day Care Centers, Inhome Care some states will let you file your application on-line to find out if yours will, visit http://www.cms.hhs.gov/home/medicaid.asp. For Medicaid at a glance http://www.cms.hhs.gov/MedicaidEligibility/Downloads/MedicaidataGlance05.pdf. Here is some information on Spending Down so that your loved one can get Medicaid benefits to pay for long term care. 5. Learn about the Medicare Hospital Benefit Period http://www.aarp.org/health/medicareinsurance/info-08-2010/ask_ms_medicare_question_86__.html.
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Tip #6 Build Your Team of Professionals

Snapshot
What is a Geriatrician and how can this professional help your loved one? pg 29 What Personal Assistants do and why you might want to hire one pg 30 The Eldercare Locator pg 31 How Adult Day Care can help pg 31 Information on Nutritional Programs pg 31

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Build Your Team of Professionals

Your Team of Professionals might include: An Elder Law Attorney, Financial Planner, Chiropractor, Physician, Medicaid Planner, Certified Aging in Place Specialist, Occupational Therapist, Geriatric Care Manager, Notary Public, Realtor, Insurance Agent, In-home Care Company, In-home Service Provider or Personal Assistants, local County Information and Assistance programs, Legal Centers for seniors, Senior Services and your local Area on Aging. Dont wait until your loved one is in a crisis to build your team, be proactive and things will be much easier. Make sure to include the professionals whose services you and your loved one are happy with in your team. 1. Does your loved one have a will or trust? If he or she doesnt, please make it a priority to contact an Elder Law Attorney for the drafting of these critical documents. 2. Geriatrician. A Geriatrician is a physician who is specially trained to work with the aging population. He or she has knowledge about the mental and physical aspects of aging that a lot of Family Physicians dont have. Consider taking your loved one to a Geriatrician if there is one in your area. For more in-depth information on Geriatrics visit the AGS foundation at http://www.healthinaging.org/public_education/what_is_geriatrics.php. 3. Geriatric Care Manager. Hospitals and Health Insurance plans may assign care managers to oversee and coordinate health care, or you can hire one yourself. Sometimes changing needs can be met by stepping up services and assistance from paid or informal Caregivers or by moving closer to family. At times when your loved one needs more care, they may need to go into Assisted Living to get better. A Geriatric Care Manager can help you to determine if and when your loved ones needs more care, and will help you to determine what level of care is best. 4. Nurses. Nurses offer skilled nursing care, such as inserting IVs, cleaning wounds and changing bandages. They can also administer medications.

5.

Physical Therapists. Physical Therapy is a rehabilitative therapy to maximize your loved ones mobility.

6. Occupational Therapists. Occupational Therapy is restorative, to enhance or restore skills necessary for daily living.

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7. Speech Therapists. Speech Therapy is provided to help your loved one overcome certain speech and communication problems. 8. Nutritionist. A Nutritionist helps patients with their special needs including: allergies, health problems, a desire for increased energy or weight change and will help you to devise a healthy diet for your loved one. 9. Certified Nursing Aids. These aids typically have taken training courses. They are not nurses and cant administer medications, but they can help with activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing and personal care. 10. Home Health Aids. Home Health Aids perform personal services, such as bathing and dressing and may do light housekeeping. 11. Personal Assistants. You may want to hire someone to help with meals, shopping transportation and laundry, as well as to provide companionship for your loved one. Some companions may also be willing to help with personal care. In-home care companies can provide you with companions for your loved one as well as websites like www.care.com.

12.

Use this Senior Care Employment Checklist when you want to employ someone to help with your loved one http://www.caregiverlist.com/EmploymentChecklist.aspx.

13. Visit the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging to view their Eldercare Locator brochure at http://www.n4a.org/files/programs/eldercarelocator/Eldercare_Locator_Brochure.pdf. 14. Consider Adult Day Care from a trusted company during the day. Many companies offer a range of therapeutic, rehabilitative and support activities, including nursing, rehabilitation, and assistance with life activities, meals and possible transportation. 15. Senior Service Teams. Regional/County Mental Health teams working together to provide mental health screening, needs assessments, and short term counseling services to seniors. 16. Nutritional Programs. Congregate meal programs feed many older adults as a group in a senior center, community center, or school. Meals on wheels is a program the offers home delivered meals to the frail, homebound aged.

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Tip #7 Learn How to Make the Right Decision When You Think Your Loved One Needs More Care

Snapshot
Professionals to consult when trying to make this important decision pg 33 The Medicare chart that compares the different types of long term living pg 33 How to pick the right residence for your loved one pg 33
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When its Time to Think about a Residential Care Facility

Moving your loved one into some type of Residential Care Facility is usually the last thing that you want to do, and it is by far one of the toughest decisions you will make as a Caregiver. You may have heard your loved one expressing with passion that they never want to be put in a nursing home, and that coupled with the fact that you cant imagine having to live in one yourself, can make this decision almost unbearable. 1. Hire a Geriatric Care Manager to assess your loved ones situation. If you cant find a Geriatric Care Manager in your area, ask the local Area Agency about Placement Specialists or other professionals who can assess your loved one to determine if they need more care than you can give. 2. Consult with your loved ones physician. He or She can also assess the level of care your loved one needs. 3. Talk to your family members to make sure that you have explored all of the different options for care for your loved one within the family. 4. If the Geriatric Care Manager, your loved ones physician and your family feel that your loved one should be moved into a Residential Care Facility, and you have thought it through and feel that you can no longer provide the care your loved one needs, consider looking into a move for your loved one. Most facilities will require a current complete physical exam, and you will already have one from your loved ones physician. 5. Visit Helpguide.org to read their information for Consumers on Skilled Nursing facilities http://www.helpguide.org/elder/nursing_homes_skilled_nursing_facilities.htm. 6. Medicare has a wonderful chart that compares the types of long term living available for your loved one http://www.medicare.gov/longtermcare/static/typesoverview.asp. 7. You will want to check the facilitys license to make sure that your loved one gets the protection provided by law and the quality care he or she deserves. 8. When you have narrowed down your search, do not hesitate to visit the facility and ask the residents how they like living in the facility, ask the staff how they like working there and walk around the building inside and out to make sure that it is well maintained. Do this more than once to make sure that you are comfortable with where your loved one will be living.
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Tip #8 Investigate the Equipment and Technology Options That Can Help Keep Your Loved One Independent and Living in His or Her own Home

Snapshot
Where to go on the web to learn about the many different types of assistive technologies pg 35 When you cant be with your loved one all of the time pg 35 Technology to help your loved one when he or she cant hear the telephone or door bell pg 35 The new models of hearing aids pg 36 Information on walk in tubs pg 36

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Equipment and Technology

Many people wonder what the difference between durable medical equipment and medical supplies is. The difference is that durable medical equipment is designed for long-term use and medical supplies are disposable. Hospital beds, mobility aids (scooter, walkers and wheelchairs), personal care aids such as bath chairs, orthotics (therapeutic footwear), dressing aids and commodes, prostheses (artificial limbs), and oxygen concentrators are all examples of durable medical equipment. Medical supplies may include items such as blood sugar test strips, bandages and protective gloves. It is important that you learn about new technology that is coming out on the market today, because technology can help your loved one to live a more independent, satisfying and comfortable life. Make sure to take some time with the technology or equipment you are purchasing, you want to make sure that it is comfortable for your loved one to use. 1. To view Information on assistive technology and devices for daily living visit http://www.abledata.com/. Another great site that gives updates on new technology is located at: http://www.ageinplacetech.com/. 2. When you are not there with your loved one all of the time, a Personal Emergency Response or QuiteCare system can give you great peace of mind. Here is some information on the Phillips Response System for you to evaluate http://www.lifelinesys.com/content/someoneyou-care-for/index.jsp, or the QuiteCare System http://www.lincme.net/images/quietcare_fact.pdf. 3. If your loved one lives with you, an intercom system can help you hear your loved one from another part of the home, a webcam will help you to see them.

4.

Mobility monitors are helpful if your loved one has dementia. They can be strapped to an ankle or wrist and when your loved one passes out of range, the transmitter alerts you.

5. If your loved one is having trouble hearing the telephone or doorbell, check into the AlertMaster Notification System at http://www.newworldtelnet.com/ameriphone_alert_master_notification_systems.htm. 6. Information on Scooters http://seniorjournal.com/NEWS/Eldercare/4-10-25Wheelchairs.htm.
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7. Easy Travelers http://www.firststreetonline.com/Home+Solutions/Mobility/Easy+Traveler.axd. 8. Find out about modern hearing aids and read the articles at http://www.hearingcenteronline.com/tech.shtml. Loss of hearing can be very isolating, so pay close attention to your loved ones hearing. 9. Walk in Tubs can be good for your loved one's health and there is no need to worry about slipping. Check out the different models and prices here http://www.nextag.com/walk_-_in-tubs/shop-html. 10. Great Grips for turning on and turning off fixtures http://store.ergoguys.com/gga2003.html. 11. Vitality GlowCaps fit popular prescription bottles available at Walgreens and other retail pharmacies. Inside GlowCap is a wireless chip that enables four services that collectively help people to stick with their prescription regimen http://www.vitality.net/.

12.

A wonderful piece of equipment that you might consider getting is a Video Phone. Video Phones can replace normal telephones and the great thing is that you can see your loved one as you are talking to him/her. This will help you to better tell how your loved one is doing and it can be a great tool for peace of mind when you cant actually be there. The Video Phone is also wonderful for your loved one to see their grandchildren and relatives while they talk to them, when they cant be there in person http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&source=hp&q=video+phones&rlz=1W1ADRA_en&o q=&gs_rfai=&um=1&ie=UTF8&ei=flehS7aSBIuIswPr1_HKAw&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0C CwQrQQwAA.

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Tip #9 Be Very Creative and Persistent Learn How to be Frugal and Save Money

Snapshot
Why maintaining your loved ones home can save you a lot of money pg 38 Buy used durable medical equipment when available pg 38 Information on low cost prescriptions pg 39 Senior discounts pg 39 Tips for menu planning pg 40

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Things to Consider When Money is Tight

Thirty Three Million Caregivers are spending an average of $500 per month to help with their loved ones transportation, medicine and other ancillary needs. You want to give your loved one the best because he or she has been there for you all of these years. Please keep in mind that any money you personally put towards the care of your loved one is money not put towards your own retirement and care, so consider being as frugal as you can (there is nothing wrong with this, and do it for yourself as well), plan and figure out creative ways to make ends meet. 1. All but 6 states in the United States pay families to provide care through at least one program. Visit http://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/groups/aging/documents/pub/dhs16_146650.pdf to see an informative PowerPoint on State Family Caregiver Policies. 2. All but 2 states in the United States reported at least 1 consumer directed option for Caregivers in 2005. 3. Does your loved one have a Long Term Care Policy that covers in-home care? Check into it, the policy may pay for in-home care services. 4. It is critical that you understand that money will be saved when you help your loved one to take care of his or her home, and do this for yourself as well. Schedule regular yearly or biyearly termite inspections (under $200), keep the home well painted and hire a handyman periodically to replace wood where dry rot exists, as well as to make minor repairs. If there are termites, treatment will usually cost somewhere between $1,500 and 2,000. This is a much better alternative than letting things go. I have seen family members faced with anywhere from $5-30,000 (and it could be even worse) in termite repairs before their loved ones home could be sold. In many cases, family did not have the money to make these extensive repairs and ended up selling the home as-is, losing thousands more in the process. 5. Downsizing to a smaller house or apartment can, at times when the circumstances are right, free up some money. Find your local Seniors Real Estate Specialist here http://www.seniorsrealestate.com/sarec/ and ask for a free Market Analysis to find out what your loved ones home is worth.

6.

Your local Area on Aging, Senior Services or Senior Center will be aware of whether or not there is a non-profit in the area that has used durable medical equipment. This can be a great way to save money, and a lot of the equipment may look pretty close to new.
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7. Perhaps your loved one has Pension Benefits that they dont remember or werent aware of. Things to look for are: a notice that your loved one is vested in a plan, a benefit statement, an exit letter from a company noting participation in a plan, any document that shows the full official name of the company and its IRS ID number, pay stubs, W2 forms, or any documents that shows a period of employment and earning.

8.

Check into senior care tax deductions at http://www.caregiverlist.com/TaxDeductions.aspx.

9. If your loved one is a Veteran, look into his or her benefits. Visit Veteran's Aid and Attendance Benefits for Senior Care http://www.caregiverlist.com/VeteranAid.aspx. 10. If your loved one has a Life Insurance policy, some policies may be turned in for cash through a Life Settlement Company. Please note that this is not a preferred way of getting money, but in the case of a major emergency, just know that it could be an option. Wikipedia gives you this information about Life Settlement http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_settlement. 11. Read a great article on finding low-cost prescriptions drugs at agingcare.com http://www.agingcare.com/Featured-Stories/95400/How-to-Find-Low-Cost-PrescriptionDrugs.htm. 12. Get some Financial Help and Advice by visiting http://www.familycaregiving101.org/help/financial.cfm. 13. Read this article on 5 ways to Cut Elder-care Costs http://www.smartmoney.com/personalfinance/retirement/5-Ways-to-Cut-Elder-Care-Costs/. 14. Take advantage of your local supermarket and department stores customer loyalty programs. 15. Join a big box store like Costco or Sams where you can purchase your staples and items you use on a regular basis for quite a bit of savings. Dont take your debit or credit card with you, take just the amount of cash you need so you wont over spend. 16. Always ask for senior discounts for your loved one when eating out or shopping. If they dont give discounts regularly, find out if they have a specific day of the week when they do give senior discounts. Ask if they have a customer rewards program.
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17.

Make your frequent family celebrations potlucks. This will keep the cost down for everyone and free up the time of those who usually do all of the cooking.

18. Check out the frugal recipes and thrifty living at www.frugal-living-tips.com. 19. Do your menu planning and then print the coupons that apply to the ingredients you need to make your meals. Remember that fresh food when purchased to make food from scratch, is always cheaper than packaged and frozen food entrees. Make double the recipe, it doesnt take that much more time and freeze some for later http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/Offers.aspx?pid=13794&zid=sn27&nid=10 or
http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/Offers.aspx?pid=13306&zid=iq37&nid=10&bid=alk0716140755 b97a054576716.

20. Visit the Frugal Shopper on a regular basis to get inspiration for being more frugal when you shop at http://www.thefrugalshopper.com/tips.shtml. 21. When you and your loved one feel like shopping, visit your local dollar store, you may be surprised what you will find and how fun it can be.

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Tip #10 Be Prepared for the Unexpected

Snapshot
Make sure that your loved one has signed and notarized Advance Directives - pg 42 Learn about Hospice programs - pg 42 Make funeral arrangements sooner than later pg 42 Talk about death with your loved one pg 43

41

Prepare for the Unexpected

1. Start planning for your future care today by putting aside a designated amount monthly in an interest bearing account, IRA, Mutual Fund etc. Make sure that your loved one has been doing the same and tap into your team of professionals for help. 2. Have your loved one purchase a Long Term Care Insurance policy as soon as possible, if possible. Get a policy for yourself. Your monthly investment can really pay off should you need care at home or in a Skilled Nursing Facility. Find out how to pick the best policy at AARP http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving/long-term-care/ . 3. Make sure to have a first aid kit, alternate water supply and food for 2 weeks available for emergencies in your home and your loved ones. Consider a Pandemic Kit as well. Here is a site that has all of these items http://www.preparedness.com/chpadekiavbi.html. 4. Does your loved one have Power of Attorney and a Durable Medical Power of Attorney notarized by a Notary Public? Also, what about an Advance Directive signed by a Notary as well? The advance directive does not have to be notarized, but, it is such an important document that I highly recommend it. 5. With your loved ones help, gather and find all of their important documents and put them in a fireproof safe. This is very important! When you hear quick get mom or dads will or power of attorney, you want to be prepared. Use a Vital Documents Checklist to make sure that you have everything together, and make copies for family members and your loved ones files. Make sure to do the same for yourself. You can use this Vital Document Checklist to get started http://justorganizeyourstuff.com/media/catalog/free/r_vital_papers.pdf. 6. Hospice Care. Hospice programs offer comfort and support for those who are dying and their families. Programs may offer services at home or in a nursing home, hospice facility, or hospital. Generally, Medicare and other insurers cover the costs of hospice care if a patient is expected to live six months or less and chooses hospice rather than curative care. For more information, call toll free to Hospicelink 800-331-1620, or contact the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization at 800-658-8898 or www.nhpco.org. 7. Make decisions and arrangements for your loved ones funeral ahead of time while they can express their wishes. Death is never an easy thing to confront, and consequently, planning
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proactively for ones own passing rarely happens. Many of the tasks and decisions that are carried out when death does occur are drenched in pain and grief. Why not make these decisions when making them is not burdened by all of this extra stress? Start your dialogue with your loved one today, you will be surprised at how much easier it is to do than you thought. You may find that your loved one even feels a bit relieved information on planning a funeral http://www.caring.com/articles/planning-for-final-arrangements http://www.caring.com/funeral - and http://www.nfda.org/planning-afuneral/preplanning.html.

8.

Why wait until your loved one has passed away to celebrate his or her life? Do it while they are still alive. Have regular family get togethers and enjoy each others company! Invite family members who dont live nearby to participate via speakerphone.

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Additional Caregiver Resources

Resources for Caregivers prepared by the National Alliance for Caregiving and the MetLife Mature Market Institute, in cooperation with the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a), was written to help individuals and families who have assumed the role of Caregiver or anticipate future Caregiving http://www.caregiving.org/pubs/brochures/resourcesforcaregivers07.pdf. The Area Agency on Aging Caregiver Handbook and Resource Guide gives Caregivers knowledge, support and relief http://www.agingcarefl.org/caregiver/howTo. Video Caregiving, a visual education center for family caregivers is site that shares Caregiving information and training with you via video http://www.videocaregiving.org/caregiving.php. There are a lot of wonderful books on the market for Caregivers. One of my favorites is The Complete Eldercare Planner by Joy Loverde http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Eldercare-Planner-SecondQuestions/dp/0812932781. I highly recommend that you purchase this book because it gives you some great tools to work with including action checklists at the end of most of the chapters, low-cost and free resources and lots of very helpful information. Johnson & Johnson has a wonderful support tool for Caregivers who are I-phone and I-pod touch users called CareConnector. You can find this great resource and other helpful information when you visit Strength for Caring http://www.strengthforcaring.com/util/resources/index.html.

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About the Author

Summer Jackson has spent over 14 years in caring for the aging population. From taking care of her mother for a short period, to managing a retirement community, to being the cofounder and president of a non-profit designed to help the senior community, she has shared her love, respect and experience with those she has cared for. These experiences have helped to develop in her a strong passion for being able to offer Adult Children important information that will help them to be aware of their options, know where to look for resources and avoid making important life decisions in crisis mode. This e-book is a direct result of that passion. Summer has also spent 6 years in the research and development, along with her partner Scott Landrum, of a unique system designed to assist Adult Children who are caring for their aging parents and loved ones. Summer and Scotts venture will become the start here point for answers to questions, referral to resources, and for access to much needed flexible, bundled life services that will give Adult Children the tools necessary to live a better quality of life, while they are caring for a loved one. For more information on this new system and when it will be introduced in your area, please email Summer at summer@vivachoices.com.

A personal note from Summer:

I give my love, appreciation and sincere thanks to Karen Bingham, the living angel who has given so much, and who has always had incredible faith and belief in our ability to develop this much needed system for aging and e-book. Karens selfless gift along with the other family members and friends, who have contributed, will prayerfully help millions of people around the world to have the personal support and services necessary to live the best quality of life as they age - in the comfort and familiarity of their own home.

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This e-book was designed to provide information about caring for ones parent or aging loved one. The Author is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional services. If legal advice or other professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. The author shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information and links to websites contained in this e-book.

The Essential Parent Care Guide

Copyright 2009, Viva! Choices, Inc.
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