Divorce

TheDivorceExperience
AStudyofDivorce atMidlifeandBeyond
ConductedFor
AARPTheMagazine
Report by Xenia P. Montenegro, PhD National Member Research, Knowledge Management Survey conducted by Knowledge Networks, Inc.
Copyright 2004 AARP Reprinting with permission only 601 E St. NW Washington, D.C. 20049 www.aarp.org May 2004
AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization dedicated to making life better for people 50 and over. We provide information and resources; engage in legislative, regulatory and legal advocacy; assist members in serving their communities; and offer a wide range of unique benefits, special products, and services for our members. These include AARP The Magazine, published bimonthly; AARP Bulletin, our monthly newspaper; Segunda Juventud, our quarterly newspaper in Spanish; NRTA Live and Learn, our quarterly newsletter for 50+ educators; and our Web site, www.aarp.org. We have staffed offices in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Acknowledgements We would like to thank staff at Knowledge Networks, especially Shannon Schwartz, for their work in conducting this survey. Many AARP staff contributed to this project. From AARP The Magazine, the sponsor of the survey, we want to thank Hugh Delehanty, Steven Slon, Ron Geraci, Karen Reyes, and Ed Dwyer for their sponsorship and creative insights. Muriel Cooper of AARP Media Relations also provided creative input. Knowledge Management staff from various departments also contributed to the project. The core team members from National Member Research are: Xenia Montenegro, PhD, Project Manager Sonya Gross, Research Analyst Deirdre Campbell-Alston Adel Dukes Stewart Linda Fisher, Director, PhD, National Member Research For additional information, contact Xenia P. Montenegro, PhD at 202-434-3538
TheDivorceExperience:AStudyofDivorceatMidlifeandBeyond,AARP,May2004 ii
Contents
EXECUTIVESUMMARY ............................................................................... 4 METHODOLOGY:THESTUDYOFDIVORCEATMIDLIFEAND BEYOND .........................................................................................................10 FINDINGS ......................................................................................................12
I.RESPONDENTPROFILE:DIVORCEESAGES40TO79....................................................... 12 II.CIRCUMSTANCESSURROUNDINGTHEDIVORCE ............................................................ 14 III.REASONSFORDIVORCE ................................................................................................ 20 IV.IMPACTOFDIVORCE ...................................................................................................... 24 V.LIFEAFTERDIVORCE ...................................................................................................... 31 VI.SEXUALITYAMONGLATERLIFEDIVORCEES ................................................................ 39 VII.DEMOGRAPHICGROUPS .............................................................................................. 51
APPENDIX .....................................................................................................60
ANNOTATEDQUESTIONNAIRE ..........................................................................................A1 ADDITIONALRESPONDENTDATA .....................................................................................B1 METHODOLOGYANDTECHNICALNOTES ........................................................................ C1 STATISTICALTABLES .......................................................................................................... D1
TheDivorceExperience:AStudyofDivorceatMidlifeandBeyond,AARP,May2004 1
LISTOFFIGURES Figure1.RespondentProfile.......................................................................................... 13 Figure2.WhoInitiatedDivorce .................................................................................... 15 Figure3.ReasonsforPostponingDivorce................................................................... 18 Figure4.ReasonsforDivorceatMidlifeorOlder...................................................... 21 Figure5.SpouseastheErringPartner ......................................................................... 23 Figure6.ChildrensReactiontoDivorce ..................................................................... 25 Figure7.OutlookonLifeatPresent ............................................................................. 33 Figure8.OutlookonLifeFiveYearsfromNow......................................................... 34 Figure9.PerceivedStateofHealth ............................................................................... 35 Figure10.StressLevels ................................................................................................... 36 Figure11.HadSelforPhysicianDiagnosedDepression......................................... 37 Figure12.FrequencyofSexualTouchingorHugging .............................................. 43 Figure13.FrequencyofKissing .................................................................................... 45 Figure14.FrequencyofSexualIntercourse................................................................. 46 Figure15.FrequencyofOralSex................................................................................... 48 Figure16.FrequencyofSelfStimulation/Masturbation............................................ 49 Figure17.FrequencyofAnalSex.................................................................................. 50 Figure18.DifferencesbyAge ........................................................................................ 53 Figure19.Race/EthnicityandDivorce ......................................................................... 55 Figure20.ReligionandDivorce .................................................................................... 58
LISTOFTABLES Table1.MajorLifeEvents ............................................................................................ D2 Table2.DivorceandLossofJob ................................................................................. D5 Table3.DivorceandMajorIllness .............................................................................. D7 Table4.BiggestFearsAfterDivorce......................................................................... D10 Table5.WhatsBestAfterDivorce ........................................................................... D14 Table6.WhatsLikedLeastAboutDivorce ............................................................ D20 Table7.DatingAfterDivorce .................................................................................... D27 Table8.ReasonsforDating........................................................................................ D31
EXECUTIVESUMMARY
Manymidlifeeventscauseturmoil.Childrenleavethenest,amajorillness comes,aparentpasseson.Forsome,divorceendsalongmarriage. Theseandothereventsbecomecommonatastageinlifewhenpeopleworry aboutgettingolder,reflectontheirmortality,andponderaboutwhathasbeenand couldhavebeen.Experiencingonemidlifeeventafteranothermayleadtostress andfeelingsofdevastation. Thisgroundbreakingstudy,TheDivorceExperience:AStudyofDivorceat MidlifeandBeyond,isthefirstofitskindtodocumentwhathasbecomeacommon experienceamongmidlifersandolderpeople.Thestudyexaminesthecircumstances surroundingdivorceatmidlifeanditsimpactonmenandwomen.Wealsowanted tolookathowpeoplecopewithlifeandtheirwellbeingafterdivorce,aswellas theirsexuality. Theresultsarebasedoninterviewswith1,147respondents581menand566 womenages40to79whoweredivorcedatleastonceduringtheir40s,50s,or60s. Somearestilldivorced,somehaveremarried,andafewarewidowed.Respondents representdivorceesandremarrieddivorceesintheUnitedStatespopulationwho divorcedwhentheywerebetweentheagesof40and69.
TheImpactofDivorce
Comparedtootherlossesthatmayoccuratmidlifeorolder,peopleage40 andoldergenerallyfeelthatdivorceismoreemotionallydevastatingthanlosinga job,aboutequaltoexperiencingamajorillness,andsomewhatlessdevastatingthan aspousesdeath.Whentwoormorelifechurningeventsoccurnearthesametime, onecanonlyimaginetheemotionaldevastationsomeonehastoface. Contrarytoourexpectations,wefoundthatevenatanolderage,peoplethink longandhardnotonlyabouthowdivorcemayimpacttheirfuture,buthowitmay impactthewelfareoftheirchildren.Stayingmarriedbecauseofthechildrenisbyfar thepredominantreasonsomepeopletakesolongtodecideaboutgettingadivorce,
despiteseriousproblemssuchasabusivespouses.Verbal,physical,oremotional abuseleadsthelistofcausesformaritaldissolution,followedbydifferencesin valuesandlifestyles,cheating,andalcoholordrugabuse. Inaddition,regardlessofwhethertheirdivorcewasmoreemotionally devastatingintheir20sand30sorinlaterlife,thosewhoexperienceddivorcesboth atayoungerandolderagegaveconcernfortheirchildrenasthemajorreasonone wasmoreemotionallydevastatingthantheother.Womengavethisreasonmore frequentlythanmenalthoughchildrenarethetopconcernforbothgroups.Men, beingthenoncustodialparentmostofthetime,areespeciallyconcernedabouttheir postdivorcerelationshipwiththeirchildren. Atthetimeoftheirdivorce,76percentofpeopleages40to79whodivorced laterinlifehadchildren,themajorityofwhomwereunder18yearsold.Although morethanathirdofthosewithchildren(37%)reportthattheirchildrenwere supportive,andanadditional17percentsaythattheirchildrenwereOKwithit,28 percentrecallthattheirchildrenweresomewhatupset,and18percentsaytheir childrenwereveryupset,abouttheirdivorce. Alongwithemotionalturmoil,peoplereportotherdifficulties.Foremost amongtheseisdealingwithuncertaintyornotknowingwhatsahead,citedby40 percent.Manysufferfromlonelinessordepression(29%),aswellasfeelingsof desertionorbetrayal(25%),asenseoffailure(23%),feelingunloved(22%),and feelingsofinadequacy(20%). Peoplealsofacemanyfears.Greatestamongthemisthefearofbeingalone, namedbyalmosthalf(45%).Divorceesalsofearfailingagain(31%),being financiallydestitute(28%),neverfindingsomeonetomarryorlivewith(24%), stayingangry/bitterforalongtime(20%),stayingdepressedforalongtime(16%), andnotseeingtheirchildrenasmuch(14%).Womenareespeciallyvulnerable financiallyandaremorelikelythanmentobetroubledaboutbecomingfinancially destitute.Evenwiththisgreatervulnerability,womentendtohavenochoice,as theyaremorelikelytofaulttheirspouse,especiallywithabuse.Thuswomen usuallyinitiatedivorce,manytimessurprisingtheirspouses.
CopingwithLifeafterDivorce

Despitetheworry,torment,andfeartheygothroughmakingthedecisionand goingthroughthedivorceprocess,divorceescopefairlywellwithlifeafterdivorce. Themajorityfeeltheyareonthetoprungsoftheladderoflife.Theiroutlookisona parwiththatofthegeneralpopulationage45orolder,andbetterthanthatofsingles ages40to69.Thosewhoremarriedgivethemselvesabettercurrentoutlookonlife thanthosewhodidnotremarry,orthosewhoareeitherseparatedorwidowed. Threeinfour(76%)claimtheymadetherightdecisiontodissolvetheirmarriage. Indeed,theirbuzzwordsarefreedom,selfidentity,andfulfillment. However,stressremains,althoughwecannotdeterminehowmuchofthis stemsfromthedivorce.Abouthalf(49%)saytheysufferfrommorethantheusual stressorgreater.Morewomenthanmen(63%versus44%)sufferhighlyfromstress. Depressionplaguessome(28%),withnodifferencebetweenthosewhoremained divorcedandthosewhoremarried.Theratesofhighstressanddepressionare similartotheratesamongsinglesages40to69,reportedinanotherAARPstudyin 2003.Again,womenreportdepressionmorethanmen(35%womenversus21% men).
Sexuality
Aftertheirdivorce,peopledatedprimarilytoproveeithertothemselvesorto theirspousesthattheyweregettingonwiththeirlives.Aboutathird(32%) remarried.Perhapsbecauseoftheirlongsharedhistory,afew(6%)remarriedthe sameperson,orhadsexwiththeirspouseoccasionallyoroftenforseveralyearsafter theirdivorce(4%). Themajority(56%)reportsexualtouchingorhugginginvaryingdegreesof frequency(dailytoonceortwiceamonth),while38percentofthetotalclaimnot doinganyoftheseatall.Manywomen,especiallythosewhohavenotremarried (69%),donottouchorhugatallsexually.Anevenlargermajorityofwomenwho havenotremarrieddonotengageinsexualintercourse(77%sayingnotatall),in comparisonwithabouthalfofmen(49%)whohavenotremarried.
AgeDifferences
Sixtyandseventyyearoldsappreciatelifeafterdivorcemost,sayingthat theylikedoingthingsforthemselvesandhavingtheirownidentity.However,what theyhatemostisnothavingsomeonetodothingswith. Fortyyearoldsmajorconcernistheirfinances,buttheyaremorelikelythan olderdivorceestohavedatedaftertheirdivorceorevenbeforetheirdivorcebecame final.Theywantedtoprovethattheycouldgetonwiththeirlives. Fiftyyearoldsseemtohavethemostdifficultywithdivorce,evidentintheir greaterlikelihoodtosaythattheirdivorcewasmoredifficultthanamajorillness. Thiscouldbebecause,unlikefortyyearolds,theyworrythattheyarenotyoung enoughtohaveagoodchanceatremarriage;andunlikesixtyorseventyyearolds, theyaremoreconcernedabouttheirfutureatalifestagewhenamidlifecrisis commonlyoccurs.Fiftyyearoldslikebestnothavingtodealwithanotherperson.
Racial/EthnicDifferences
AfricanAmericansfinddivorcelessemotionallydevastatingthansufferinga majorillnessorevenjobloss.AfricanAmericansarelessfearfulthanwhitesof financialhardship,offailingagain,andofnotfindingsomeoneaftertheirdivorce. Whilewhitesaremorelikelytothinkthatfindingtheirownselfidentityand notdealingwithanotherpersonarepluses,AfricanAmericansaremoreaptto appreciatehavingthehousethewaytheywantitaftertheirdivorce.
ReligiousDifferences
Baptists(groupedseparatelyfromotherProtestantsbecauseoftheirlarge number),Catholics,andProtestantsotherthanBaptistsdifferinmanyrespectsfrom thosewithnoreligiousaffiliation.Baptistsandthosewithnoreligiousaffiliation oftenareontheendsofthespectrum:Baptistsfoundthemostcomfortintheir religiousfaithorprayerwhileinthethroesofdivorce,whilethosewithnoreligious

affiliationdidnot.Baptistsarethemostlikelytohavethebrightestoutlookonlife, andthosewithnoreligiousaffiliationtheworst.However,likethosewithno religiousaffiliation,Baptistshavetheleastdesiretoremarry. Thosewithnoreligiousaffiliationarethemostlikelytofearfortheirfinances afterdivorcebutmostapttoappreciatetheirfreedom. Thesedifferencesmaybelinkedtoothercharacteristicsthatareassociated withonesreligiousfaith.Oneofthesecharacteristicsmaybeage,becausepeople maybemorelikelytobecomereligiousorspiritualastheygetolder.Inaddition,the majorityofAfricanAmericansareBaptists,whilethemajorityofHispanicsare Catholics.WhitesmostfrequentlyreporttheirreligionasProtestant.Thesampledid notallowanalysisforgroupsaffiliatedwithotherreligions.
Implications
Aslifeexpectanciesincreaseandbabyboomersreplacetheirmoretraditional eldersasseniors,itislikelythatthenumberofpeoplegoingthroughdivorceat midlifeorolderwillincrease.Thosewhoexperiencethiseventlateinlifearealso likelytoleavealongmarriage.Yet,thereislittleawarenessandunderstandingof divorceinthelatterstagesoflifeanditsimpactonolderpersons. Knowingwhatthegreatestdifficultiesare,suchasloneliness,depression,and feelingsofbetrayalandfailure,supportsystemsshoulddevelopservicestoease them.Knowingwhattheconcernsare,especiallyrelatingtofinancesandchildren, legalandsupportsystemsshouldincreaseeffortstoalleviatethem.Knowingwhat thegreatestfearsare,suchasbeingalone,supportsystemsshouldmakeinformation availabletohelpdealwiththem. Whileolderdivorceesmayrelyonfriends,family,andreligiousfaithfor support,theydonotgotoorganizationsinthecommunity,governmentagencies, andnationalorganizationsrepresentingolderpersons.Thisstudyisaneffortto heightenawareness,advancethedialogue,andinspiremoreresearch.More importantly,wehopethatcommunitiesandinstitutionswillbebetterabletohelp meettheneedsofpeoplewhodivorceatmidlifeorolder.
INTRODUCTION
AARPTheMagazine,AARPsbimonthlypublicationforitsmembership, sponsoredthisstudyondivorcetoobtainasnapshotofthedivorceexperienceat midlifeandbeyond,recognizingthatdivorcecanprofoundlyaffectpeopleslives.
METHODOLOGY:THESTUDYOFDIVORCEATMIDLIFEAND BEYOND
AARPcommissionedKnowledgeNetworkstoconductthissurveyusingits webenabledconsumerresearchpanel,arandomlyrecruitedandnationally representativesampleoftheU.S.population.KnowledgeNetworkssentanemail toastratifiedrandomsampleoftheirpanelmembersbetweentheagesof40and79, invitingthemtoparticipateinthesurvey.Onlythosewhoreportedhavingbeen divorcedbetweentheagesof40and69wereincludedinthestudy.Thefinaldata wereweightedtoberepresentativeofthedivorceepopulationages40to79. Abenefitofthismethodologyisthatitaffordsmoreprivacyforrespondents thanatelephonesurvey,whichisimportantwhenastudyhassensitivequestions,as thisonedoes.Thismethodologyimprovesresponseratesandencourageshonesty, sincepanelistsarecomfortableincompletingthesurveybecausetheirresponsesare providedanonymously. Atotalof1,14840to79yearoldswhodivorcedintheir40s,50s,or60s completedthesurveyinDecember2003.Themaximummarginofsamplingerror forthissamplesizeisplusorminus3.0percentagepointsatthe95%levelof confidence.Thetechnicalnotesintheappendixdescribethesamplemethodology andthedispositionofthesampleinmoredetail.
TheQuestionnaire
AARPdevelopedthesurveyquestionnairewiththeassistanceofKnowledge Networks.Studyparticipantswereaskedabout: thecircumstancesatthetimeoftheirdivorce thereasonsfortheirdivorce theimpactoftheirdivorce theirlivesafterdivorce theirsexuality personalandothervariablesthatmayrelatetothedivorceexperience
Panelmemberdataobtainedfromrespondentsoutsideofthequestionnaire werealsousedtoanalyzesurveyresponses.Theserespondentdatainclude: gender age maritalstatus(widowed,separated,remarried) education employment income stresslevel frequencyofexercise pastdepression DataAnalysis Responsefrequenciestoeachquestiononthesurveyarereportedinthe annotatedquestionnaireintheappendix.Theappendixalsoincludesadditional respondentdata.Statisticaltablesandgraphicsarepresentedaswell. Moredetailedanalysesofresponsesbyattitudes,behavior,anddemographic characteristicsareavailableinaseparatevolumeforthosewhoareinterestedina moreindepthreviewoftheresults.
FINDINGS I. Respondent Profile: Divorcees Ages 40 to 79
Figure1showstherespondentprofile. Divorcedmenandwomenaresplitequally:51%men,49%women.Themajority areintheir50sand60s. Themajority,about73percent,divorcedintheir40s.Aboutoneinfive(22%) divorcedintheir50s,while4percentdivorcedintheir60sorolder. Likethegeneralpopulationinthisagegroup,themajorityofdivorceesareworking. Thevastmajorityliveinmetropolitanareas.Theyaremorepredominantlywhite comparedtothegeneralpopulationinthisagegroup. Somewhatmorethanhalfofdivorcees,56percent,haveremaineddivorcedorare separated,whileafewarewidowed(5%).Almostathird,31percent,have remarriedandanother9percentarelivingwithapartner. Justoverhalfofthedivorcees(53%)havedivorcedonlyonce,while47percenthave divorcedmorethanonce.Ofthelatter,almosteveryone(91%)experienceddivorce forthefirsttimeintheir20sor30s. Divorceesages40to79differfromthegeneralpopulationinthisagerange:their averageageishigher.(Theolderpeopleare,themorelikelytheyaretohavehada divorce.) Divorceesalsotendtohaveahighereducationthantheolderpopulationinthisage group.

GENDER
Figure1.RespondentProfile
51% 49%
Male Female
AGE
40-49 50-59 60-69 70-79
17% 39% 30% 13%
AGE AT DIVORCE
40-44 45-49 50-54 55-59 60+

WORK STATUS
43% 30% 15% 7% 4%
Not working Working

RACE/ETHNICITY
33% 57%
White Black Hispanic Other

EDUCATION
83% 9% 6% 2%
HS or less Some college College degree +

RESIDENCE
34% 37% 29%
Metro Non metro 15%
85%
CURRENT STATUS Divorced/Separated
56% 5% 31% 9%
Widowed Remarried Living w/ partner
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
II. Circumstances Surrounding the Divorce
Seldomdobothpartiesjointlydecidetohaveadivorce.Womenusually initiatethedivorce.Althoughtheymayhavebeencontemplatingactionforalong timeduringalongmarriage,womensometimessurprisetheirspouseswhenthey finallyaskforthedivorce.Forbothmenandwomen,childrenarethemajorreason fordelayingdivorce,buteconomicsisanequallypowerfuldivorcedeterrentfor women.
WhoAsked
Amongwomen,66percentreportthattheyaskedforthedivorce,whileonly 41percentofmensaytheydid.Conversely,39percentofmensaytheirspouses askedforthedivorce,and21percentofwomenreportthesame.Asmallminority, 18percentofmenand12percentofwomen,statethatboththeyandtheirspouses jointlydecidedonadivorce. Victimsofphysicalorverbalabuse,aswellasalcoholordrugabuse,aremuch moreapttoaskforthedivorcethemselves(73%and70%askingfordivorceversus 54%oftotal).Theyalsotendtohavespentlesstimethinkingabouthavingadivorce beforeaskingforone.
Figure2.WhoInitiatedDivorce
66%
Me
41% 54%
21%
My spouse
30%
39%
Women Men Total

12%
Both of us
18% 15%
1%
No Answer
2% 2%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q4.Whoaskedforthedivorce?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)
LengthofMarriage Sincetheirdivorceoccurredwhentheywereintheir40sorolder,longterm
marriagesamongdivorceesaretherule.Morethansixinten(64%)weremarriedfor tenyearsorlongerwhentheydivorced.Almostathird(32%)weremarriedfor20 yearsorlonger.Aboutathird(35%)weremarriedlessthantenyears.
AfricanAmericanstendtohaveshortermarriages,averaging11yearsamong divorceesinthisagegroup,comparedto15yearsforbothwhitesandHispanics. Thosewhoreporthavingnoreligiousaffiliationdivorcedatayoungerage, with62percentwhosaytheydivorcedatages40to44,incontrastto43percentof thetotalsamplewhodivorcedatthesameage.
DecidingtoDivorce
Whiletheirmarriageswerelongterm,divorcees40to79yearsoldgenerally contemplatedgettingadivorceforashorttimebeforedecidingtotaketheplunge. Thisispartlybecauseoneinfiveofthemweresurprisedbytheirspouses(20%). Wivessurprisedtheirhusbandsmoreoften(26%versus14%).Inadditiontothe surprisefromspouses,anadditionalthird(32%)contemplatedtheirdivorceforless thanayearbeforetakingaction.
ChildrenaMajorFactorinDivorceDecision,PlusEconomicsamong Women Only17percentstrungouttheirdecisiontodivorceforfiveyearsorlonger.

Childrenwerethemajorfactorforthedelay.Ofthosewhotookfiveyearsorlonger todecide,43percentofthetotalreportedtheystayedmarriedbecauseofthe children,whilethesecondreasonwasthattheyhadtopreparefinanciallyorcould notaffordthedivorce(21%). Manymorementhanwomensaytheystayedmarriedbecauseofthechildren (58%versus37%).Women,ontheotherhand,areseveraltimesmorelikelytosay theyhadtopreparefinancially(27%womenversus6%men).Anadditionalten percentmorewomen(andlessthan1%ofmen)saythattheirfinancialdependence
ontheirspousewasthereason.Thus,atotalof37percentofwomendivorcees mulledoverhavingadivorceforfiveyearsorlongerandpostponeditforfinancial reasons.Thisisequaltothepercentageofwomenwhopostponeddivorcebecause oftheirchildren.
Figure3.ReasonsforPostponingDivorce
37%
Because of children
43% 27%
58%
Had to prepare financially/could not afford it
6% 21% 16% 15% 16% 11% 21% 14% 12% 14% 13% 10% 12% 11% 12% 10% 11% 11% 8% 10% Women 5% 17% 9% 10% 4% 8% 10% 0% 7% 7% 6% 7% 7% 2% 6% 4% 6% 5% 3% 0% 2% 1% 1% 1% Men Total
Just didn't get around to it
Personally didn't believe in divorce
Unsure of decision Waited for cheating to stop/gave spouse another chance Against my culture/religion
Had counseling first
Trying to make marriage better
Emotional attachment/dependence on spouse
Financially dependent on spouse
Didn't want to lose significant portion of my assests
Didn't have lawyer/didn't know how to start
Social pressure against divorce
Family/Friends against it
We/I got cold feet
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q6a. What made you take that long to decide to get divorced? (Select up to three) (Base=175, contemplated divorce for 5+ years)
Indeed,womenarewellawareofhowdiretheirfinancescouldbecomeaftera divorce.Researchstudieshaveconfirmedtheimpactofseparationanddivorceon theeconomicwellbeingofwomen.
ChildrenWhenDivorced Atthetimeoftheirdivorce,23percenthadnochildren.Twentyninepercent
hadchildrenyoungerthan12atthetimeoftheirdivorce,28percenthadchildren ages12to17,and36percenthadchildren18orolder.Somehadbothadultchildren anddependentchildrenofvariousagesatthesametime.
ParentsMarriage
Itisapparentthatdivorcebecamemorecommonamongparentsofbaby boomerchildren,especiallyamongdivorceesintheir40s(39%havedivorced parents)comparedtothetotalsample(30%havedivorcedparents).Theattitudesor behaviorofrespondentsgenerallyarenotassociatedwiththeirparentsdivorceor stayingmarried.
III. Reasons for Divorce
Abuse,lifestyleorvaluedifferences,andcheatingleadthereasonsfordivorce. Justaswomenusuallyinitiatethedivorce,theyaremoreapttoputthehusbandat faultaswell.Ontheotherhand,whilemenalsotendtoblametheirexwives,more ofthemadmittobeingatfault.
GroundsforDivorce
Verbal,physical,oremotionalabuseistheforemostreasonfordivorce.Asked whatthethreemajorreasonsare,threecameoutamongthemyriadgroundslisted forrespondentstomark: verbal,physical,oremotionalabuse(34%) differentvalues,lifestyles(29%) cheating(27%) However,oneinfour(24%)saytheysimplyfelloutofloveorhadnoobvious problems.Alcoholordrugabusealsocauseddisruptioninthemarriageofsome. Thefollowingareothergroundsfordivorce: simplyfelloutoflove/noobviousproblems(24%) alcoholordrugabuse(21%) beingacontrolfreak(16%) moneyproblems(14%) notcarryingtheirweightinthemarriage(14%) fellinlovewithsomeoneelse(10%) abandonment(10%) Fewer(58%)checkedalwaysbeingaway,sexualproblems,stepchildren,and inlawsasareason.Nothavingchildren,religiousdifferences,culturaldifferences, agedifferences,decliningphysicalhealth,andhomosexualitywerenamedbyfewer still(lessthan5%).
Figure4.ReasonsforDivorceatMidlifeorOlder
Abuse Different lifestyles Cheating Fell out of love Alcohol/drugs Control freak
16% 11% 7% 66%
11%
9%
9%
71%
16%
6% 5%
73%
12%
7%
5%
76%
12%
5% 4%
79%
3% 8%
5%
84%
Money problems 4% 5% 5% Not carrying weight 3% 5% 6% In love w/ another 4% 3%3% Abandonment 4% 3% 3%

2%
86%
86%
90%
90%
Always away 2% 4%
3%
92%
Step-children 3%
2%
1%
93%
Sex problems In-laws
2% 3% 2% 2% 1%
93%
95%
0%
20%
Most sig. reason
40%
60%
Next reason
80%
Third reason
100%
Q2ac.Ofallthereasonslistedbelow,whichwasthemostsignificantreasonforyourlastdivorce? Oftheremainingreasons,whichwasthenextmostsignificantreasonforyourdivorce?Andfinally, whatwasthethirdmostsignificantreasonforyourdivorce?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)
SpouseversusSelfastheErringPartner
Divorceesmostoftenpointtotheformerspouseastheerringpartner.The vastmajority(86%)sayitwastheirexspousewhocheated,andaboutthesame percentagesaytheexspousewasthecontrolfreak(86%),ortheexspousewasnot carryinghis/herweightinthemarriage(83%).Largenumbersalsosaythattheir spousewasphysically,verbally,oremotionallyabusive(78%),orusedalcoholor drugs(77%).(Onlythoserespondentswhogavetheseasparticularreasonsforthe divorcewereaskedwhethertheyortheirspouseswereresponsible). Menandwomenaliketendtofaulttheirexspouses.However,womenpoint totheotherpersoningreaternumbersthanmen,especiallyforalcoholordrug abuse.Menaregenerallymorelikelythanwomentosaythatthereasonsapply eithertothemortoboththemselvesandtheirspouses. However,fewermenandwomenfaulttheirspouseswhenitcametomoney aswellastodifferentvaluesandlifestyles,sayingthatitistheyorbothpartieswho causedtheseproblems.Abouthalfofthewomen(53%)saymoneyproblemscaused bytheirexhusbandsledtodivorce,while44percentofmensaythesameoftheirex wives.Fewerstillsaydifferentvaluesandlifestylesappliedtotheexspouse(30% women,28%men).
Figure5.SpouseastheErringPartner (PercentSayingReasonAppliedtoSpouse)
91%
Control freak
75% 86%
88%
Not carrying weight
72% 83%
86%
Verbal, physical, or emotional abuse
60% 78%
92%
Women Men Total
Alcohol or drug abuse
46% 77%
53%
Money problems
44% 49%
30%
Different values, lifestyles
28% 29%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q3ag.Forthesetopreasons,pleaseindicateifthereasonappliedmostlytoyou,mostlytoyour spouse,ortobothofyouequally.[Appliedmostlytospouse](Base=154to378,respondentswho selectedeachreason.)
IV.ImpactofDivorce
Emotionally,divorceisgenerallyworsethanlosingajob,aboutequalto experiencingamajorillness,andsomewhatlessdevastatingthanthedeathofa spouse.Childrenmayhavebeenmostlysadbutnotnecessarilydevastated. Hardshipsandfearsfollow.Yetmost,especiallywomen,havenoregrets.An uncertainfutureleadsthedifficultiesthatbothmenandwomendealtwithatthe timeoftheirdivorce.Beingalonewasthegreatestfearamongbothsexesatthat time.Womenreportbeingterrifiedaboutbecomingfinanciallydestitute.Menwere fearfulaboutnotseeingtheirchildren.
ChildrenandDivorce
Atthetimeoftheirdivorce,76percenthadchildren,themajorityofwhom wereunderage18.Morethanathird(36%)ofalldivorceeshadadultchildrenwhile morethanhalf(57%)haddependentchildrenunder18yearsoldatthetimethey divorced.Someofthemhadbothadultchildrenandchildrenunderage18atthe sametime. Divorceesassessmentsoftheirchildrensreactionstotheirdivorcewere almostevenlysplit:neutralorpositiveforsome,andnegativeforothers.While slightlylessthanhalfsaytheirchildrenhadanegativereaction(46%),morethana thirdwhohadchildrensaythattheirchildrenweresupportiveoftheirdivorce(37%) andanother17percentsaythattheirchildrenwereOKwiththedivorcealthough theydidnotnecessarilysupportit.Thosewhosechildrenhadanegativereaction saythattheirchildrenweresomewhatupset(28%)orveryupset(18%)aboutthe divorce. Womensreportsoftheirchildrensreactionsdifferfromthoseofmen. Whereaswomenaremorethantwiceaslikelytosaythattheirchildrenwere supportiveofthedivorce(50%versus22%men),menaremorelikelytosaythat childrendidnotsupportitbutwereOKwithit(21%menversus13%women),and alsotosaythatchildrenwereeithersomewhatorveryupsetaboutit(56%men versus36%women).
Figure6.ChildrensReactiontoDivorce
50%
Children were supportive of it
22% 37%
Children did not support but were OK with it
13% 21% 17%
Children were somewhat upset about it
21% 35% 28%
Women Men Total
Children were very upset about it
15% 21% 18%
1%
No answer
1% 1%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q7a.Ifyouhadachildorchildren,whatdoyouthinkwasthechildrensreactiontothedivorce? (Base=846,Hadchildrenattimeofdivorce)
Thechildrensreactionswerecharacterizedmostlybytheirparentsas sad(67%) angry(42%) devastated(22%) Womenandmendidnotdifferintheircharacterizations.
DivorceandMidlifeEvents
Manylossesoccuratmidlife,anddivorcecancompoundtheselosses.A divorcemaynotbequiteasdevastatingasthedeathofaspouseoramajorillness, butitisworsethanthelossofajob.Morewomenthanmenrecallthattheirdivorce wasmoreemotionallydifficulttohandlethanthedeathofaspouseoramajor illness. Notknowingwhatsaheadisthemostdifficultpartofdivorce,especiallyfor women,followedbylonelinessordepression.Womenalsofearfortheirfinances, whilemensuffermorefromthelossoftheirchildren. MidlifeEventsExperienced Inadditiontodivorce,almosthalfofthedivorcees(45%)hadalsoatsome timeexperiencedthelossofajob,while30percenthadsufferedamajorillness,and8 percenthadlostaspouse. Amongthosewhoexperiencedjobloss,almosthalfsaythatdivorcewasmore difficult(47%)while28percentsaythatjoblosswasmoredifficult.Thereareno differencesbetweenmenandwomen.Oldermen,however,hadmoredifficultywith jobloss.Menolderthan60arealmostevenlysplitinsayingjoblosswasmore difficult(37%)andsayingdivorcewasmoredifficult(40%),whiletheremaindersay itwasthesame. AfricanAmericanstendtohavemoredifficultywithjoblossthanwhites(58% versus24%amongwhites).AsshowninTable1(pageD2inAppendix),theremay beotherdifferences,butthesmallbasesprecludeotherconclusions. Amongthosewhosufferedamajorillness,30percentsaydivorcewasmore difficulttohandleemotionally,and28percentsayitwasthesame,while41percent considermajorillnessmoredifficult.Morementhanwomenhadatoughertime withamajorillnessthandivorce(48%versus35%),whilewomenaremorelikelyto saythatbotheventswereaboutthesame(35%ofwomenversus19%ofmen).See Table2(pageD5inAppendix).
Amongthosewholostaspouse,18percentsaythatdivorcewasemotionally moredifficult,while65percentsaythataspousesdeathwasmoredifficult.Among women,70percenthadmoredifficultywithspousaldeathand23percenthadmore difficultywithdivorce,whileamongmen58percenthadmoredifficultywith spousaldeathandonly11percenthadmoredifficultywithdivorce.However, almostathirdofmen(32%)thinkbothwereequallydifficult.
DivorceataYoungerAgeversusLaterinLife Fortypercentofdivorceeswhoalsoexperiencedthislifealteringexperiencein
their20sor30ssaythatdivorcewasmuchmoredifficultwhentheywereyounger, while23percentsaythattheirlaterdivorcewasmuchmoredifficult.Thistrendis trueformenandwomen. Theangstthatcomesfromconcernfortheirchildrenisthemajorreasonfor thegreateremotionaltollofdivorce,whetherintheir20sand30sorinlaterlife.The majority,57percent,ofthosewhosaydivorcewasmoredifficultwhentheywere youngerwroteinresponsetoanopenendedquestionthattheirchildorchildrenis thereasontheyfeelthatwasmoredifficultthantheirlaterlifedivorce.Inthis concernwomenovershadowedmen(65%versus48%)althoughitisthetopreason forbothgroups.Someoftheirwriteinresponsesshowwhattheywentthrough: Mydaughterwasonly1yearsold,andIwasextremelyworried abouthergrowingupwithoutherfather. Itwashardraisingfourchildrenbymyselfbothfinanciallyand beingthekindofparentmychildrenneededanddeserved. IhadthreechildrenwithmyfirsthusbandandworriedifIwould beabletotakecareofthemandnothavingtheirfatheraroundto dothingswiththem.Itwashardonthembecausetheydidnot understandwhywehadtogetadivorce. Thosewhosaydivorcewasmoredifficultinlaterlifealsomentiontheir childrenasareasonmoreoftenthanotherreasonsbuttoalesserdegree(22%)than thosewhofindtheirpreviousdivorcemoredifficult.Fifteenpercentsaythatwith theirlaterdivorcetheywerewiserandmoreawareofdifficulties.Yetthesame
percentage(15%)alsosaythattheiragemadeitmoredifficulttoadjustand14 percentsaythatitishardertofindsomeonenew. Thereismorepressureonapersonwhenolder;youngerhavemore waystocopeandbetterchanceofremarryingandfindinganew companion. Ihadbeenmarriedafewyearsthendivorced,asopposedtothe26 yearmarriage. Feltbetrayedbyfirsthusband.Hadkidstothinkaboutduringthe seconddivorce.Upheavalanddifficultiesaboutequalbutdifferent. Totellthetruth,whenIwasyoungeritdidnotbothermeatall. Wasbetterabletohandlestresswhenyounger. Withage,wisdomshouldbeforemostandthesecondtime aroundnobodyispreparedforfailureorbetrayalIwasnt! olderandsetinmyways.Whenyouareolderyouhavemore baggage,hardertomeetdecentpeoplewhoarenotdrunks, druggies,sluts,orjustplainoutmean. NeitheriseasywhenmyfirstmarriageendedIwasokay,except forworryingaboutmychildren(whichishuge).Whenmysecond husbandleftmeIthoughtthatmylifehadended. Myfirstmarriagewasforconveniencemysecondwasfor love. Whilethecomparisonbetweendivorcingatayoungerageanddivorcinglater inlifewasnotposedtothosewhodivorcedonlyonce,thefactthattheywerein longtermmarriageswithnopreviousdivorceexperiencemaymaketheirdivorcesa morelifewrenchingexperiencethandivorcesareforthosewhoexperiencedone before.
DifficultiesinDivorce
Alongwiththeemotionalturmoilthatcomeswithdivorce,thereareother difficultiesthatpeoplehadtogothroughduringthedivorceprocess.Foremost amongtheseisdealingwithuncertaintyornotknowingwhatsahead,citedby40 percent,andmorebywomenthanmen(49%womenversus29%men).Dealingwith lawyersseemstobeanunwarrantedburdenforalmostafifthofdivorcees.Other difficultiesinclude: lonelinessordepression(29%) feelingsofdesertionorbetrayal(25%) senseoffailure(23%) nothavingsomeonetoloveortoloveme(22%) feelingsofinadequacy,losingselfesteemorselfconfidence(20%) dealingwithlawyers(19%) Only12percentsaythatnotbeingwithmychildrenwasdifficult,butmany menmissedtheirchildren,with29percentofthosewithchildren(22%ofthetotal) sayingthatnotbeingwiththeirchildrenwasoneofthemostdifficultthingsthey endured.Withmorewomenlikelytogetcustodyoftheirchildrenorhavingmore contactevenamongadultchildren,veryfewwomen(2%)saytheyhadadifficult timenotbeingwiththeirchildren.
BiggestFearsafterDivorce
Beingaloneisthebiggestfearafterdivorce,namedbyalmosthalf(45%),and almostequallymentionedasthetopmostfearbymenandwomen(42%and47%). Theirotherfearsatthetimewere: failingagain(31%) beingfinanciallydestitute(28%) neverfindingsomeonetomarryorlivewith(24%) thattheymaystayangry/bitterforalongtime(20%) thattheymaystaydepressedforalongtime(16%) thattheywouldntseetheirchildrenasmuch(14%) Childrenandeconomicsseparatemenandwomen.Womenarefourtimes moreapttobeafraidofbeingfinanciallydestitute(44%womenversus11%men), whilemenaremanytimesmorelikelytobeveryfearfulaboutnotseeingasmuchof
theirchildren(27%menversus3%women).Financesalsodrivesomeofthefearand areassociatedwithincomeandbeingintheirforties.Thosewhohaveableaker futureoutlookthanothersfearfailingagain.
SourcesofHelp
Todealwiththefeelings,needs,andproblemsfromtheirdivorce,abouthalf ofdivorcees(49%)frequentlycalleduponfriendsandcoworkers.Adistantsecond sourceofhelpwasfamilyandrelatives(33%),followedbyreligiousfaithand/or prayer(31%).Althoughsomesoughtprofessionalcounselingortherapy(16%),very fewmentionanygroupofprofessionals.Onlyfivepercentusedasupportgroup. Therearenodifferencesbygender,buttheyoungestdivorceesaremoreapt thantheiroldercounterpartstogetsupportfromtheirfriendsandcoworkers(57% among40to49yearoldsand37%among70to79yearolds).
V.LifeafterDivorce
Freedom,selfidentity,andfulfillmentarethebuzzwordsofabetterlifeafter divorce.Beingaloneisthedamper,buttheexperienceshowsdivorceesresiliency. Themajoritystandontheupperrungsoftheladderoflife,andlookforwardto climbingevenhigher. Whilewomenappreciatetheirnewfoundselfidentity,freedom,and independence,theirfinancesposehurdlesafterdivorce.Menalsoliketheirfreedom andbeingabletodowhattheywantandnothavingtoanswertoordealwith anotherperson;howevertheyaremorethantwiceaslikelytosaythattheylikebeing withabettermate.Althoughonlyoneintenmensayit,theymentionhavingmore sexordifferentsexualexperiencesfivetimesmorethanwomenassomethingthey likebestafterdivorce.Theyalsotendtobebetterofffinancially. Onthewhole,lifeisgoodafterdivorce.Themajorityfeeltheyareonthetop oftheladderoflife,despitestressesthatplaguethemtothesameextentasthe populationingeneral,andboutsofdepressionamongsome.Infact,thevast majorityfeelthattheymadetherightdecisioningettingthedivorce.Thisistrue amongwomenregardlessofwhethertheyremarriedorremainedsingle.Among men,thosewhoremarriedaremoreapttosaythattheymadetherightdecision.
LifeafterDivorceWhatsBest
Thefollowingwerementionedasoneofthetopthreethingspeoplelikeabout lifeafterdivorce: Freedom/independencetodowhatIwanttodo(41%) Havingmyownselfidentity(36%) Beingabletodothingsformyself,formyownselffulfillment(35%) Nothavingtoanswertoordealwithanotherperson(31%) Betterofffinancially(22%) Beingwithabettermate(18%) HavingmyhousethewayIwantit(15%) Nothavingtoberesponsibleforortakecareofsomeone(14%) Womenaremorelikelythanmentoappreciatehavingtheirownselfidentity, theirnewfoundfreedom(alsotrueforunmarriedmen),andnothavingtodealwith anotherperson(alsotrueforunmarriedmenandwomen).
Menaremoreapttoappreciatetheirbetterfinancesandhavingabettermate. Moremenages40to49,comparedtomeninotheragegroups,likebeingbetteroff financially. WhitesaremorelikelythanAfricanAmericanstoappreciatetheirfreedom andnothavingtodealwithanotherperson,whileAfricanAmericansaremoreaptto appreciatehavingtheirhomesthewaytheywantthem. Largerincomesgenerallycomewithabettermate,whilewomenage60and olderappreciatemosthavingtheirownselfidentity.Thosewithnoreligious affiliationaremorelikelytoappreciatetheirfreedomandnothavingtodealwith anotherpersonthanareProtestants,Catholics,orBaptists.
WhatsNotGreat
Thefollowingarethethingspeoplelikeleastaboutlifeafterdivorce: nothavingsomeonearoundtodothingswith(34%) financialproblems/nothavingenoughmoney(26%) nothavingsomeonearoundtotalkto(21%)
Forwomen,anaddedconcernisfinances.Asmallminorityofmenmention dislikingnotbeinginasexualrelationship(16%)andthetendencytodounhealthy things(12%).Twoormoretimesthepercentageofmencomparedtowomenare concernedaboutmissingasexualrelationshipanddoingunhealthythings(16%and 12%ofmenversus7%and6%ofwomen,respectively).
WellBeing
Afterthestormcomesthecalm.Thevastmajorityofdivorcees(80%)feelthat onascaleof110theyareonthetophalfoftheladderoflifeatpresent.Morethan half(56%)feeltheyareontheuppermostrungs(810).Theseassessmentsarevery similartothosemadebythegeneralpopulationage45andolderina200102AARP survey,with53percentratingthemselves810.Thesearealsobetterthanthe outlookofsinglesages40to69froma2003AARPstudy,where39percentgave themselvesratingsof810. Figure7.OutlookonLifeatPresent
100% 80% 60% 40% 20% 26% 0% 8 to 10 22% 6 to 7 Men Women 56% 54% 57% 24% 13% 15% 12% 5% 7% 8%
4 to 5 Total
1 to 3
Q1a.Imaginealadderwith10stepsrepresentingtheLadderofLife.LetssupposetheTOPofthe ladder,theTENTHSTEP,representstheBESTpossiblelifeforyou,andtheBOTTOM,theFIRST STEP,representstheWORSTpossiblelifeforyou.AtwhichstepoftheladderdoyoustandATTHE PRESENTTIME?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)
Whilethereislittledifferencebygender,agapexistsbetweenthosewhohave remarriedandthosewhohaveremaineddivorced,separated,orwidowed.Those whohaveremarriedhavebettercurrentoutlooksthanthosewhoareunmarried. Belowaretheproportionswhogavethemselvesratingsof810: Marriedmen: 68% Unmarriedmen: 42% Marriedwomen: 72% Unmarriedwomen: 51%
Unmarriedwomenaresomewhatmorelikelytoratethemselveshigherthan unmarriedmen. Manymorefeeltheywillbebetteroffinthefuture:87percentsaytheywill beonthetophalfoftheladderinfiveyearswhile75percentsaytheyexpecttostand ontheverytop(810).Womenscurrentandfutureoutlookstendtobecomeless brightastheygetolder.Thesamepatternholdstrueformen. Figure 8. Outlook on Life Five Years from Now
Total
75%
12%
9% 3%
Women 40-49
83%
10%
6% 2%
Women 50-59
80%
7%
10%
3%
Women 60+
70%
12%
12%
4%
Men 40-49
82%
14%
3%
0%
Men 50-59
72%
14%
7%
4%
Men 60+
68%
15%
10%
3%
0%
20%
8 to 10
40%
6 to 7
60%
4 to 5
80%
1 to 3
100%
Q1b. Imagine a ladder with 10 steps representing the Ladder of Life. Lets suppose the TOP of the ladder, the TENTH STEP, represents the BEST possible life for you, and the BOTTOM, the FIRST STEP, represents the WORST possible life for you. At which step of the ladder will you stand FIVE YEARS FROM NOW? (Base=1147, total respondents)
PerceivedStateofHealth
Justastheyhaveapositiveoutlookonlife,themajoritysaythattheirhealthis good,verygood,orexcellent.Womenandmendonotdifferintheirperceptions.
Figure9.PerceivedStateofHealth
100%
80%
60%
40%
33%
35% 36% 35%
20% 11% 10% 12%
35%
32%
16% 15% 16% 4% 5% 4% Poor
0%
Excellent
Very Good Men
Good Women Total
Fair
Q.Ingeneral,wouldyousayyourhealthisexcellent,verygood,good,fair,orpoor?(Base=1022,total respondents)Panelmembersrespondedtothisquestionoutsideofthecurrentsurvey.
Stress
Womenreportmorestressthanmen.Themajorityofwomenreportstress thatismorethanusual,quiteabit,ormorethantheycouldbear(63%),in comparisonto44percentofmen. Figure10.StressLevels
100%
80%
60%
40%
22% 25% 24% 27% 7% 21% 8% 17% 28% 27% 21% 14% 9% 18% 10% 11% 7%
20%
0%
6%
More than could bear
Quite a bit
Some, more Some, but than usual about usual

Men Women Total
A little
None
Q.Howmuchstress,strain,orpressurehaveyoubeenunderduringthepastfewmonths? (Base=1022,totalrespondents)Panelmembersrespondedtothisquestionoutsideofthecurrent survey.
Depression Onaverage,28percentofdivorceesreporthavinghaddepression.Women, morethanmen,tendtoreporthavinghaddepression(35%womenversus21%men), especiallydoctorconfirmeddepression(31%womenversus18%men).Itisdifficult totellwhetherthisisarealdifferenceorwhethermenaremorereticentintalkingto aphysicianaboutbeingdepressed. Figure11.HadSelforPhysicianDiagnosedDepression

100% 72% 79% 60% 65% 40% 28% 20% 21% 0% Yes (Net) 35% 3% 25% 31% 4% 4% 18% Yes, Doctor-Confirmed Women Total No
80%
Yes, Self-Diagnosed Men
Q. Hasrespondenteverhaddepression?(Base=984,totalrespondents) Panelmembersrespondedtothisquestionoutsideofthecurrentsurvey.
TheincidenceofexperiencingdepressionisthesameasinapreviousAARP studyofsinglesages40to69(28%).Thatstudyalsoshowedwomensgreater likelihoodthanmentoreportdepression. Thosewithlowincomes,whoarenotactive,orwhoexerciselessthanoncea weekorneveraremoreapttohavehaddepressionthanthosewithhighincomes, whoareveryactive,orwhoexerciseoften. CorrelatesofWellBeing Excellenthealth,lowstress,nopreviousdepression,andexercisecorrelate withpeoplescurrentassessmentofwheretheyareintheladderoflife:thosewho feeltheyareontopoftheladderoflifealsotendtohavehighscoresinotherareas.
Religionappearstoplayakeyroleinperceptionsofwellbeing.Agreater proportionofBaptists(42%)saytheyareonthetoptworungsoftheladderoflife(9 10onascaleof110),comparedto31percentofCatholicsand31percentof Protestants.Thosewhoreportnoreligiousaffiliationarelesslikelytosaytheyare ontopoftheladderoflife(16%on910),whileabouthalfofthemareintherungs justbelow(53%puttingthemselvesat78).Similartrendsappearinrelationto futureoutlook.
ConfidenceinDecisiontoDivorce
Threeinfour(76%)feelthattheymadetherightdecisiontodivorce,with71 percentsayingthattheyareabsolutelysure.However,morewomenareconfidentof theirdecisionthanmen(76%versus64%men).Womenaresimilarlysureoftheir decisionregardlessofwhethertheyhaveremarriedorremainedsingle.Menwho haveremarriedorarelivingwithapartneraremorelikelytobeconfidentoftheir decisionthanmenwhoareunmarriedorseparated(73married/partneredmen versus57percentofunmarriedmen).
Remarriage Remarriageoccurredinalmostathirdofdivorcees(32%).Infact,themajority
saythattheircurrentmarriagesareonsolidground(67%)andanother20percentsay theirmarriagesareworkingprettywell.However,thoseintheir50s,regardlessof gender,arelesslikelytoclaimthanthoseintheir40sor60sthattheirmarriagesare onsolidground(57%). Askedwhattheydiddifferentlyintheirsubsequentremarriage,42percent reportmarryingsomeonewithwhomtheyhavemoreincommon,whileaboutthe sameproportion(41%)saytheymarriedsomeonewhosharestheirvalues/beliefs. Afourth(26%)livedtogetherbeforetyingtheknot,andthesamepercentage didthenextclosestthing,orgottoknowthespouselonger.
VI.SEXUALITYAMONGLATERLIFEDIVORCEES

Menandwomengotonwithlifebydatingafterdivorce,withalmostathird ofmenstartingtodateevenbeforethedivorcewasfinal.Themajorityofmen remarried,butfewerwomenriskedmarriageagain.Thoseintheir40s,especially women,weremorelikelytodatethanthoseintheir50sorolder. Fromsexualtouchingorhuggingtokissing,aswellasintercourse,significant proportionsofdivorceesenjoytheirsexuality.Thefrequencyofactivity,however, diminishesfromtouchingtointercourse.Otherformsofsexualactivitysuchasself stimulationororalsexarenotascommon,andoccurmuchlessfrequentlyifatall. Theoccurrenceandfrequencyofsexualactivityisassociatedmostlywith beingmarried(orremarried),withtheexceptionofselfstimulation(whichhasa lowerincidence),andanalsex(whichishardlydoneatall).Themajorityof unmarriedwomendonothavesexualintercourseatall.
DatingafterDivorce Thevastmajority(82%)ofdivorceesdatedaftertheirdivorce,whichledto marriageformost.Hereagain,menandwomendiffered. Almost9in10men(87%)datedaftertheirdivorce,comparedto8in10 women(79%).Almostathirdofmen(32%)starteddatingbeforethedivorcewas final,comparedtoafifth(20%)ofwomenwhodidthesame.Amongthosewho datedafterthedivorce,morethanhalfofmen(54%)butfewerwomenremarried (39%). Theirageatthetimeofdivorcealsoimpactsdating,especiallyamongwomen. Eightyeightpercentofwomenintheir40sdated(35%didbeforethedivorcewas final),while79percentofwomenintheir60sandolderdidthesame(13%didbefore thedivorcewasfinal). Thosewithacurrenthouseholdincomeof$75,000peryearormorearemore likelytohavedated,especiallybeforethedivorcewasfinal,comparedtolower incomegroups(40%versus26%fortotal).
AfricanAmericansarethemostlikelygrouptodate(89%versus82%oftotal), withmanystartingbeforethedivorcewasfinal(38%versus26%oftotal). Thosewithnoreligiousaffiliationaremoreapttodatethanothersbeforethe divorcewasfinal.(SeeTable7). Theproportionofthosewhohavenotdatedsincethedivorce(15%)isnot verydifferentfromthepercentagewhohavenothadaserious,exclusiverelationship sincethedivorce(20%),suggestingthatmostofthosewhodatedweresuccessfulin forgingnewrelationships. WhyDate Divorceesdatedaftertheirdivorceprimarilytoprovesomething,especially provingtothemselvesthattheyaregettingonwithlife.Althoughgenerallythisis thereasonmostoftenmentioned(23%),womenaremorelikelytocitethisreason thanmen(27%versus19%);andAfricanAmericansandHispanics(34%and35%) aremoreapttocitethisreasonthanwhites(21%).Thisurgetoprovethemselvesis alsogreateramongthoseintheir40s(31%),especiallyamongwomenintheir40s (35%). Otherrelatedreasons,havingtodowithprovingsomethingare:provingto myselforexspousethatIwasstillattractive(5%),andprovingtomyexspouse thatIwasgettingonwithmylife(3%). Anotherreasonfordatingistoliftmyspirits/easedepression(18%). Womenandmendifferlittleinthisneed. Thenextgroupofreasonsfordatingrevolvesaroundcompanionship, marriageorcohabitation,andsex,asfollows: companionship,butnosex(15%) sex(11%) findanewpartnertomarry(11%) findanewpartnertolivewith(8%) Menareseveraltimesmorelikelytomentionsexthanwomen(17%versus 4%)andslightlymoreapttomentionfindingapartnertolivewith(11%versus5%).
Remarriageintentionsarenotthenormamongolderdivorcees.Themajority eitherdidnotwanttoremarry(38%)orwerereluctant(14%)tomarryagain. Marriageismoreofanegativepropositionamongwomenthanmen(43%ofwomen donotwanttoremarryversus33%ofmen);especiallyamongwomenwhodivorced intheir50sorolder(43%versus42%ofwomenintheir40s). Thosewhofearmarriageblametheirreluctancetoremarryonnotwanting anotherbadmarriage(65%).Otherreasonsinclude: toomuchworkfindingsomeone(19%) havingtoomuchfun(16%) bitterness(14%) fearoffailure(12%) lifestyle/work(12%) finances(10%) Amongthoseadmittingtothelureofanothermarriage,theirreasonsrelateto thedesiredcharacteristicsofamate,andstoodoutstronglyoverotherpossible reasons: compatiblepersonality(57%) goodcharacter(57%) goodcompanion(54%) Otherreasonsaretosatisfysexualneeds(16%),totakecareofme(11%), andmoremoney(10%).
PostDivorceRelationshipwithExSpouse
Divorceesmaynothaveanycontactwiththeirexspousesatall,trueamong almostathird(31%).Theymayremarrythesameperson,butveryrarely,as occurredamongtwopercent.Atotalofaboutoneintwenty(6%)eitherremarrythe sameperson(2%)orhadsexwiththeirspouseeitheroccasionally(3%),oroften(1%). Inaddition,27percentwerefriendlyafterwardswhile35percentwerenot friendlybuttalkedonceinawhile.Therearenomajordifferencesbygenderor otherfactors.
SexualActivity Thesexualactivitiesofdivorcedmenandwomenages40to79commonly consistofsexualtouchingorhugging,kissing,andsexualintercourse.Themajority (56%)reportsexualtouchingorhugginginvaryingdegreesoffrequency(dailyto onceortwiceamonth),while38percentofthetotalclaimnothavinganyatall.Six percentofthetotaldidnotrespondtothisquestion. Themajorityofwomen,especiallyunmarriedwomen(69%),donottouchor hugatallsexually.
Figure12.FrequencyofSexualTouchingorHugging
47% 45% Daily 4% 5%
20%
23% 21% More than once a week 6% 17%

15%
9% 6% About once a week 4% 13%

8%
Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner) Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed)

14%
6%
Once or twice a month
11% 20%
13%
Men (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Total
10% 7% Not at all 39%

38%
69%
5% 7% No answer 5% 6%
6%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Sexualtouchingor hugging]?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)
Themajorityreportkissing(59%),andalmosthalfreporthavingsexual intercourse(47%)withsomefrequency.Alargemajorityofunmarriedwomendonot reportkissing(67%)orsexualintercourse(77%).
Figure13.FrequencyofKissing
69% 67%
Daily
6% 8% 30%
11% 15%
More than once a week
7% 22% 13%
8% 3%
Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner) Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Men (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed)
20% 11%
About once a week
5% 5% 5%
4% 7%
10%
Total
3% 2%
Not at all
39% 35%
67%
5% 7%
No answer
5% 6% 6%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Kissing]? (Base=1147,totalrespondents)
Figure14.FrequencyofSexualIntercourse
8% 4%
Daily
1% 0% 2%
21% 24%
6% 14% 14%
25% 29%
Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner) Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Men (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Total
About once a week
2% 13% 15%
23% 22%
8% 18% 16%
17% 16%
Not at all
49% 46%
77%
6% 6%
No answer
6% 7% 6%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Sexualintercourse]? (Base=1147,Totalrespondents)
Sixtypercentreportthattheydonotengageinoralsexatall,and58percent donotengageinselfstimulation.Almosteveryonedoesnotengageinanalsexor didnotanswerthequestion(96%).Amongtheveryfewwhoreportthissexual activity(3%),thefrequencyisusuallyonceortwiceamonth. Unmarriedmenandwomenaremoreapttosaytheydonotengageinoral sex,especiallyunmarriedwomen(57%unmarriedmenversus81percentunmarried women).Maritalstatusdoesnotplayasmuchofaroleinselfstimulationor masturbation.Again,womenarelesslikelytoreportthisactivity.
Figure15.FrequencyofOralSex
4% 3%
Daily
1% 0% 2%
10% 7%
2% 8% 6%
8% 14%
Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner)
About once a week
2% 10% 8%
Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed)
29% 23%
7% 17% 17%
42% 41%
Not at all
57% 60%
81%
7% 12%
No answer
7% 8% 9%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Oralsex]? (Base=1147,Totalrespondents)
Figure16.FrequencyofSelfStimulation/Masturbation
0% 3%
Daily
1% 3% 2%
4% 6%
3% 13% 6%
3% 5%
Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner)

12%
About once a week
3%
6%
Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed)
18% 17%
18% 22% 19%
68% 56%
Not at all
39% 58%
68%
7% 13%
No answer
7% 11% 10%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Self Stimulation/Masturbation]?(Base=1147,Totalrespondents)
Figure17.FrequencyofAnalSex
0% 0%
Daily
1% 0% 0%
0% 0%
0% 0% 0%
Women (Married/with partner)

1% 0%
Men (Married/with partner) Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Men (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed) Total
About once a week
0% 1% 0%
5% 3%
1% 4% 3%
85% 83%
Not at all
83%
90%
86%
9% 14%
No answer
8% 11% 10%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Q31af.Duringthepast6months,howoften,onaverage,haveyouengagedin[Analsex]? (Base=1147,Totalrespondents)
VII.DemographicGroups
Peoplesdivorceexperiencecouldvarydependingontheircharacteristicsand attitudes.Thecharacteristicsthataremoststronglyassociatedwithdivorce experiencearegender,age,raceorethnicity,andreligion. GenderDifferences Womenusuallyaskforthedivorce,andsurprisetheirhusbandsmoreoften thantheirhusbandssurprisethem.Themajorityfaulttheirhusbandsfortheir unsuccessfulmarriage,morethanhusbandsfaulttheirwives. Womenarealsohelpedbytheirchildrenssupport.Manymorewomenthan menclaimthattheirchildrenweresupportiveoftheirdivorce. However,moneyloomslargeforwomenfacingdivorce.Manymorewomen thanmenhadtopreparefinancially,orsaythattheypostponeddivorcebecausethey werefinanciallydependentontheirspouses.Morethanathirdofwomen(37%) postponedtheirdivorceforfinancialreasons,equaltothepercentagewhopostponed divorcebecauseoftheirchildren.Indeedwomensgreatestfearafterdivorceisthe fearofbeingfinanciallydestitute,fourtimestheincidenceamongmen(44%versus 11%men). Almosthalfofwomen(49%)hadgreatdifficultydealingwithuncertaintyor notknowingwhatsaheadwhiletheywereembroiledintheirdivorce.Menareless likelytoexperiencethisdifficulty.Womenalsoreportmorestressanddepression thanmen. Despitetheirdifficulties,womenareconfidenttheymadetherightdecisionto divorce,andmoresothanmen.However,theyarelesslikelytodate,andthusless likelytoengageinsexualactivitiesthanmen.Whenwomendate,however,their reasonmoreoftenthannotistoprovetothemselvesthattheyaregettingonwith theirlives,ratherthansuchreasonsassex,companionship,orremarriage. Mensuffermuchfrombeingseparatedfromtheirchildren,aproductoftheir likelihoodtolosecustodyorperhapstheirlikelihoodtosocializelesswithadult
children.Thisisthemajordivorcedeterrentformen.Infactmorementhanwomen feelthattheirchildrenwerenotsupportiveoftheirdivorce. DifferencesbyAge Howdivorceesfacetheirlifeafterdivorcemanytimesdependsontheirage andothereventsthatleavetheirmarkasonegetsolder.Forexample,70yearolds arethemostlikelytohavelostaspouse;morethantwicetherateof50and60year olds.Fewintheir40shaveexperiencedthisloss.Thoseintheir50s,60s,and70s haveaboutthesamelikelihoodtosufferfromamajorillness.However,50yearolds arethemostlikelytohavelostajob,andarethemostlikelytoperceivedivorceas moredifficultthanajoblossormoredifficultthanamajorillness. Sixtyandseventyyearoldsseemtoappreciatelifebestafterdivorce.They aremoreapttosaythattheylikedoingthingsforthemselvesandhavingtheirown identity.Fiftyyearoldslikebestnothavingtodealwithanotherperson. Sixtyyearoldsseemtobethemosthungryforcompanionship.Theydislike mostnothavingsomeonetodothingswith.Seventyyearoldstendtofeelthemost selfconscious,anotherthingtheylikeleastaboutdivorce. Fortyyearoldsfearmostfortheirfinancesafterdivorceandalsothinkthisis theworstthingaboutdivorce.Fortyyearoldsarealsothemostlikelytostartdating evenbeforetheirdivorcebecomesfinal,perhapsbecausetheywanttoimprovetheir financesinahurry,orbecausetheywanttoprovetothemselvesthattheycangeton withtheirlives.
Figure18.DifferencesbyAge
Life event: Lost job
20% 38% 42% 50% 43% 9% 7% 1% 36% 30% 33%
Life event: Death of spouse
Life event: Major illness
Divorce more difficult than major illness
20% 24% 28% 19%
38% 46% 40% 52% 50%
Divorce more difficult than job loss
Biggest fear after divorce: Finances
28% 24% 28% 36% 17% 8% 8% 7% 12% 11% 21% 14% 39% 41% 31% 30% 39% 41% 30% 35% 25% 31% 36% 27% 32% 38% 35% 28% 25% 18% 12% 9% 21% 20% 27% 35% 27% 22% 24% 36% 21% 23% 21% 31%
Biggest fear after divorce: Kids not forgiving
Biggest fear after divorce: Depression
Best after divorce: Do things for myself
Best after divorce: Own self-identity Best after divorce: Not having to deal w/ another person Worst about divorce: Nobody to do things with
70-79 60-69 50-59 40-49
Worst about divorce: feeling self-conscious
Worst about divorce: Finances Dating after divorce: Started before divorce was final Motivation for dating: Prove to self about getting on w/ life
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Bases:40to49199;50to59452;60to69346;70to79150.
Race/EthnicityandDivorce Racialdifferencesplayapartinpeoplesexperiencesandtheirperceptionsof theirdivorce.AfricanAmericansarethemostlikelytohaveexperiencedamajor illness,buttheirjoblossexperienceisonparwithothers(frequencyofjoblosswas notasked). AfricanAmericansseemtosuffertheleastemotionallyfromadivorce. Conversely,theyaremoreapttoperceivethatjoblosswasamoredifficultemotional experiencethandivorce.(AfricanAmericansinthisstudyaremorelikelytobe unemployed:26%versus20%amongwhites.) Majorillnesswasamoredifficultexperienceaswellforalargerproportionof AfricanAmericanswhoselivesweremarredbytheselifeevents.Infact,alarger proportionofAfricanAmericansthanwhitesinthestudyratedtheirhealthasfairor poor(30%versus20%ofwhites). AfricanAmericansarealsomoreapttoappreciatehavingthehousetheway theywantitasaplus.Moreofthemdatedevenbeforetheirdivorcewasfinal.They aremoreaptthanwhitestosaythattheydatedtoprovetothemselvesthatthey couldgetonwithlife. BecausetheHispanicsamplewassmall,wecanmakeonlyafewconclusions abouthowdifferentHispanicsarefromothergroups.Hispanicsaretheleastlikely grouptohavemajorillnesses.ItseemsHispanicswantaspousescompanionship morethanothergroups:theyaretheleastlikelygrouptosaythatnotdealingwith anotherpersonisoneofthebestthingsinlifeafterdivorce;andconversely,much moreapttoclaimthathavingnobodytodothingswithisoneoftheworstthingsin lifeafterdivorce. WhitesaremorefearfulthanAfricanAmericansofreducedfinancesaftertheir divorce.Theyaremorelikelytothinkthatfindingtheirownselfidentityisaplus. ThesedifferencesbetweenwhitesandAfricanAmericansmaybelinkedto otherfactors.Theresearchliteratureshowsthattheratesofseparationanddivorce amongAfricanAmericansarehigherthanamongwhites,andtherateofjoblessness ishigheramongAfricanAmericanmenthanwhitemen.
Figure19.Race/EthnicityandDivorce
Life event: Major illness
14% 29% 27% 24% 23%
40% 58% 47% 51%
Job loss more difficult than divorce
Divorce more difficult than job loss
Major illness more difficult than divorce
39% 36% 30% 20% 32% 22% 20% 31% 41% 26% 31% 21% 15% 26% 35% 25% 37% 18% 31% 13% 24% 14% 24% 12% 26% 33%
62%
Divorce more difficult than major illness
Biggest fear about divorce: Finances
Biggest fear after divorce: Failing again
Biggest fear after divorce: Not finding someone
Best after divorce: Own self-identity
Best after divorce: House the way I want it
Hispanic African American White
Best after divorce: Finances
Best after divorce: Not dealing with another
Best after divorce: Better mate
24% 12% 19% 3% 12% 5% 28% 35% 19% 18% 27% 25% 38% 24% 21% 35% 34% 47%
Best after divorce: No in-laws
Worse after divorce: Nobody to do things with
Worse after divorce: Finances
Dating: Dated before divorce was final Reason for dating: Prove to self about getting on w/ life
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Bases:White956;AfricanAmerican100;Hispanic66.
ReligionandDivorce Usingtheirselfreportedreligiousaffiliations,differenceswereanalyzed amongthelargestgroups.Baptistscomprisedalargeproportionofthepopulation andweregroupedseparatelyfromotherProtestants. Protestants,Catholics,Baptists,andthosewithnodesignatedreligious affiliationmakeupthemajorityofdivorcees.Otherreligiousgroupsarerepresented insmallnumbers,sodatapertainingtothemwerenotanalyzed. Protestantsaremostlikelytofearbeingaloneafterdivorce,followedby Baptists. Catholicsarethemostapttolikedoingthingsforthemselvesasthebestpart oflifeafterdivorce,followedbyBaptists.Theyalsoaremostlikelytodatetolift theirspirits. However,Baptistsandthosewithnoreligiousaffiliationmostoftenareonthe endsofthespectrum.Baptistsseemtobethemostreligious.Theyfoundthemost comfortintheirreligiousfaithorprayerwhiletheywereembroiledinthislifeevent, whileveryfewwithnoreligiousaffiliationfoundcomfortinprayer.Perhapstheir religiousfaithgivesBaptistsaboostintheiroutlookonlifeaswell.Theyarethe mostlikelytoputthemselvesontheuppermostrungsoftheladderoflife(much morethanthosewithnoreligiousaffiliation),whilethemajorityofBaptistsput themselvesontopaswellintheirfutureoutlook.Theyarethemostlikelytonot wantremarriage,surprisinglyputtingthemonthesamesideonthisissueasthose whohavenoreligiousaffiliation. Thosewithnoreligiousaffiliationarethemostlikelytofearfortheirfinances afterdivorceandthemostlikelytoappreciatetheirfreedom.Baptistsaretheleast likelytofearfortheirfinancesandtoappreciatetheirfreedom.Thosewithno religiousaffiliationarealsotheleastlikelytoappreciatebeingabletodothingsfor themselvesafterdivorce. Intheirfutureoutlook,Protestants,Catholics,andthosewithnoreligious affiliationdonotdiffer;butBaptistshavethebestfutureoutlookontheladderoflife.
Peoplewithnoreligiousaffiliationwenttofriendsandcoworkersmost, whileothersresortedtothistoalesserdegree.Prayerorreligiousfaithalsoserved Baptists,Protestants,andCatholicsindealingwithdivorce.
Figure20.ReligionandDivorce
37% 22% 32% 25% 31% 43% 36% 50% 52% 34% 43% 45% 20% 38% 45% 31% 42% 25% 34% 36% 38% 24% 29% 21% 11% 14% 26% 13% 16% 42% 31% 31% 45% 65% 47% 48% 45% 47% 32% 35% 9% 42% 27% 29% 60% 42% 50% 56%
Fears after divorce: Finances
Fears after divorce: Being alone
Best after divorce: Freedom
Best after divorce: Do things for self
Best after divorce: Not having to deal w/ another Dating started before divorce was final
No Religion Baptist
Reason for dating: Lift spirits
Catholic Protestant
Current ladder of life: 9-10
Future outlook on life: 9-10
After divorce: Did not want to remarry Source of help: Religions, faith, or prayer
Source of help: Friends / co-workers
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
Bases:Protestant270;Catholic170;Baptist145.
Thedifferencesbyreligiousaffiliationmaybeinfluencedorconfoundedby othercharacteristicsassociatedwithonesreligiousaffiliation.Forexample,persons aremorelikelytoaffiliatewithareligionastheygetolder.ThemajorityofAfrican AmericansareBaptists,whilethemajorityofHispanicsareCatholics.Among whites,themostfrequentlycitedreligionisProtestant.

APPENDIX
AnnotatedQuestionnaire AdditionalRespondentData MethodologyandTechnicalNotes StatisticalTables
AnnotatedQuestionnaire
The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 A-1
AARP Divorce Survey December 2003 S1. Which of these best describes your current marital status? Divorce, never married Divorce, divorced Divorce, widow/widower Married Married but separated Living with partner (not married or registered partnership) Living with registered domestic partner
[IF NEVER MARRIED, TERMINATE. IF DIVORCED, SKIP TO S3. OTHERWISE CONTINUE TO S2.]
TOTAL Unweighted S1: Which of these best describes your current marital status? Divorce, never married Divorce, divorced Divorce, widow/widower Married Married but separated Living with partner (not married or registered partnership) Living with registered domestic partner TOTAL 0 644 51 350 12 Weighted N 0 636 57 350 11 Percent 0% 55% 5% 31% 1% MALE Percent 0% 48% 3% 40% 1% FEMALE Percent 0% 62% 6% 22% 1%
86
86
8%
6%
9%
4 1147
6 1147
1% 100%
1% 100%
<1% 100%
S2.
Have you ever been divorced? Yes [PROCEED TO S3] No [TERMINATE]

TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 511 0 511 Percent 100% 0% 100% MALE Percent 100% 0% 100% FEMALE Percent 100% 0% 100%
S2: Have you ever been divorced?
Yes No TOTAL
503 0 503
S3.
Have you been divorced more than once? No, just once Yes, more than once
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 609 536 2 1147 Percent 53% 47% <1% 100% MALE Percent 54% 46% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 52% 47% <1% 100%
S3: Have you been divorced more than once?
No, just once Yes, more than once REFUSED TOTAL
626 517 4 1147
At what age did you [MOST RECENTLY IF MORE THAN ONCE IN S3] get divorced? ________ [S4 RESPONSE MUST BE 40 OR GREATER TO CONTINUE.] S4.
TOTAL Unweighted S4: Age at last divorce categories 40 to 44 45 to 49 50 to 54 55 to 59 60 to 69 70 to 79 TOTAL 474 349 181 92 47 4 1147 Weighted N 490 346 173 85 49 4 1147 Percent 43% 30% 15% 7% 4% <1% 100%
MALE Percent 41% 31% 14% 8% 5% 1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 45% 29% 16% 7% 3% <1% 100%
[MAIN SURVEY BEGINS HERE] Imagine a ladder with 10 steps representing the ladder of life. Lets suppose the top of the ladder, the TENTH STEP, represents the BEST possible life for you, and the bottom, the FIRST step, represents the WORST possible life for you. At which step of the ladder do you stand AT THE PRESENT TIME, and where do you think you still stand FIVE YEARS FROM NOW? Click on the number that best represents where you think you stand on the ladder. Q1b. 5 years from now Q1a. Present Time
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
TOTAL Unweighted Q1a: Ladder of Life, Present Time 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 REFUSED TOTAL 203 137 279 201 102 116 44 37 17 9 2 1147 Weighted N 226 137 280 172 99 116 38 44 14 19 2 1147 TOTAL Unweighte d Q1b: Ladder of Life, 5 years from now 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 REFUSED TOTAL 350 258 238 104 54 59 30 14 10 13 17 1147 Weighted N 375 248 229 90 48 67 32 14 8 17 20 1147 Percent 33% 22% 20% 8% 4% 6% 3% 1% 1% 1% 2% 100% Percent 20% 12% 24% 15% 9% 10% 3% 4% 1% 2% <1% 100%
MALE Percent 22% 9% 23% 16% 10% 11% 4% 4% 1% <1% <1% 100% MALE Percent 31% 22% 20% 10% 4% 6% 2% 1% 1% 1% 3% 100%
FEMALE Percent 18% 14% 25% 14% 8% 10% 2% 4% 1% 3% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 35% 22% 20% 6% 4% 6% 4% 1% 1% 2% 1% 100%
We are conducting a survey of peoples experience in getting a divorce. If you have been divorced more than once, please answer all questions as they pertain to your most recent divorce.
Q2a.
Of all the reasons listed below, which was the most significant reason for your last divorce? (Reason may apply to you or to your spouse) Cheating Verbal, physical or emotional abuse Control freak Step-children got in the way In-laws Homosexuality Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance Inability to have children Didnt want to have children Always away at work or business Fell in love with someone else Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.)
Physical appearance declining Different values, lifestyles Money problems Major age difference Religious differences became intolerable Cultural differences became intolerable Alcoholism or drug abuse Abandonment No obvious problems, simply fell out of love
TOTAL Unweighted Q2a: Of all the reasons listed below, which was the most significant reason for your last divorce? Cheating Verbal, physical or emotional abuse Control freak Step-children got in the way In-laws Homosexuality Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance Inability to have children Didn't want to have children Always away at work or business Fell in love with someone else Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.) Physical appearance declining Different values, lifestyles Money problems Major age difference Religious differences became intolerable Cultural differences became intolerable Alcohol or drug abuse Abandonment No obvious problems, simply fell out of love REFUSED TOTAL 182 174 35 31 17 4 21 0 3 31 52 38 3 134 45 6 10 9 111 42 135 64 1147 Weighted N 180 185 31 32 17 3 23 0 4 25 46 34 3 127 40 8 7 9 137 40 136 61 1147 Percent 16% 16% 3% 3% 1% <1% 2% <1% <1% 2% 4% 3% <1% 11% 3% 1% 1% 1% 12% 3% 12% 5% 100% MALE Percent 14% 8% 3% 4% 3% <1% 2% <1% 1% 4% 5% 4% <1% 14% 4% <1% 1% 1% 6% 3% 17% 6% 100% FEMALE Percent 17% 23% 2% 1% <1% <1% 2% <1% <1% 1% 3% 2% <1% 9% 3% 1% <1% 1% 18% 4% 7% 5% 100%
Q2b. Of the remaining reasons, which was the next most significant reason for your divorce? [SAME LIST EXCEPT FOR FIRST REASON CHOSEN] No other reason [IF NO OTHER REASON, SKIP TO Q3]
TOTAL Unweighted Q2b: Of the remaining reasons, which was the next most significant reason for your divorce? Cheating Verbal, physical or emotional abuse Control freak Step-children got in the way In-laws Homosexuality Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance Inability to have children Didn't want to have children Always away at work or business Fell in love with someone else Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.) Physical appearance declining Different values, lifestyles Money problems Major age difference Religious differences became intolerable Cultural differences became intolerable Alcohol or drug abuse Abandonment No obvious problems, simply fell out of love No other reason REFUSED Not asked TOTAL 73 135 65 37 12 5 30 3 4 28 34 56 10 99 62 13 13 11 65 25 84 79 5 199 1147 Weighted N 68 127 87 33 21 5 24 4 6 28 31 54 9 102 59 14 14 10 61 40 82 68 5 196 1147 Percent 6% 11% 8% 3% 2% <1% 2% <1% 1% 2% 3% 5% 1% 9% 5% 1% 1% 1% 5% 3% 7% 6% <1% 17% 100% MALE Percent 5% 7% 5% 4% 3% 1% 2% <1% 1% 2% 3% 2% 1% 9% 6% 1% <1% 1% 4% 3% 9% 7% <1% 23% 100% FEMALE Percent 6% 14% 10% 2% 1% <1% 2% 1% <1% 2% 2% 7% 1% 9% 5% 1% 2% <1% 7% 4% 5% 5% 1% 12% 100%
Q2c.
And finally, what was the third most significant reason for your divorce? [SAME LIST EXCEPT FOR FIRST TWO REASONS CHOSEN]
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 56 76 53 16 15 1 34 1 4 42 33 69 7 107 56 12 9 9 43 32 59 139 6 269 1147 Percent 5% 7% 5% 1% 1% <1% 3% <1% <1% 4% 3% 6% 1% 9% 5% 1% 1% 1% 4% 3% 5% 12% 1% 23% 100% MALE Percent 3% 6% 2% 1% 1% <1% 3% <1% <1% 4% 2% 4% 1% 7% 4% 1% 1% 1% 4% 2% 6% 13% 1% 31% 100% FEMALE Percent 7% 7% 7% 1% 1% <1% 3% <1% <1% 3% 3% 8% 1% 11% 5% 1% 1% <1% 3% 4% 5% 11% <1% 17% 100%
Q2c: And finally, what was the third most significant reason for your divorce?
Cheating Verbal, physical or emotional abuse Control freak Step-children got in the way In-laws Homosexuality Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance Inability to have children Didn't want to have children Always away at work or business Fell in love with someone else Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.) Physical appearance declining Different values, lifestyles Money problems Major age difference Religious differences became intolerable Cultural differences became intolerable Alcohol or drug abuse Abandonment No obvious problems, simply fell out of love No other reason REFUSED Not asked TOTAL
54 68 54 16 14 1 36 1 3 39 29 60 11 101 71 13 9 8 38 29 55 148 6 283 1147
NET: ALL REASONS MENTIONED IN Q2a-Q2c

TOTAL Unweighted Q2a-Q2c: Net Reasons for Last Divorce Cheating Verbal, physical or emotional abuse Control freak Step-children got in the way In-laws Homosexuality Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance Inability to have children Didn't want to have children Always away at work or business Fell in love with someone else Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.) Physical appearance declining Different values, lifestyles Money problems Major age difference Religious differences became intolerable Cultural differences became intolerable Alcohol or drug abuse Abandonment No obvious problems, simply fell out of love Total Responses 309 377 154 84 43 10 87 4 10 98 115 154 24 334 178 32 32 28 214 96 274 2657 Weighted N 303 388 171 80 52 9 81 5 14 94 110 157 19 336 155 34 30 28 241 111 277 Percent 28% 36% 16% 7% 5% 1% 7% <1% 1% 9% 10% 14% 2% 31% 14% 3% 3% 3% 22% 10% 25% MALE Percent 23% 24% 11% 10% 7% 1% 8% <1% 2% 11% 12% 10% 2% 31% 15% 3% 2% 4% 15% 7% 34% FEMALE Percent 32% 47% 20% 5% 2% 1% 7% 1% 1% 7% 8% 18% 2% 31% 13% 3% 3% 2% 29% 13% 18%
Q3.
For these top reasons, please indicate if the reason applied mostly to you, mostly to your spouse, or to both of you equally. Applied mostly to me [REASON 1] [REASON 2] [REASON 3] Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Cheating] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 21 268 17 3 309 Weighted N 22 259 18 4 303 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Verbal, physical or emotional abuse] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 46 295 36 0 377 Weighted N 47 303 38 0 388 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Control freak] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 10 137 7 0 154 Weighted N 15 147 10 0 171 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Stepchildren got in the way] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 25 37 19 3 84 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [In-laws] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 10 26 6 1 43 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Homosexuality] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 1 8 0 1 10 Weighted N 1 7 0 1 9 Percent 6% 84% <1% 10% 100% Weighted N 8 36 8 1 52 Percent 14% 68% 16% 2% 100% Weighted N 23 36 16 5 80 Percent 29% 45% 20% 6% 100% Percent 8% 86% 6% <1% 100% Percent 12% 78% 10% <1% 100% Percent 7% 86% 6% 1% 100%
MALE Percent 13% 76% 11% <1% 100% MALE Percent 16% 60% 24% <1% 100% MALE Percent 21% 75% 4% <1% 100% MALE Percent 31% 44% 21% 4% 100% MALE Percent 17% 64% 17% 2% 100% MALE Percent 18% 82% <1% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 4% 92% 3% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 10% 86% 3% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 2% 91% 7% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 25% 47% 19% 9% 100% FEMALE Percent 8% 81% 11% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent <1% 85% <1% 15% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Sexual incompatibility / poor sexual performance] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 14 56 16 1 87 Weighted N 13 51 14 2 81 Percent 16% 64% 18% 2% 100%
MALE Percent 12% 75% 13% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 20% 52% 23% 5% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Inability to have children] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 0 3 1 0 4 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Didn't want to have children] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 8 1 0 1 10 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Always away at work or business] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 42 43 12 1 98 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Fell in love with someone else] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 52 58 5 0 115 Weighted N 48 57 5 0 110 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Not carrying weight in marriage (sharing chores, etc.)] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 20 123 11 0 154 Weighted N 19 130 8 0 157 Percent 12% 83% 5% <1% 100% Percent 44% 52% 5% <1% 100% Weighted N 42 38 14 1 94 Percent 45% 41% 14% 1% 100% Weighted N 10 2 0 2 14 Percent 73% 17% <1% 11% 100% Weighted N 0 5 0 0 5 Percent <1% 92% 8% <1% 100%
MALE Percent <1% 100% <1% <1% 100% MALE Percent 100% <1% <1% <1% 100% MALE Percent 68% 20% 11% 1% 100% MALE Percent 42% 50% 8% <1% 100% MALE Percent 17% 72% 11% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent <1% 89% 11% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent <1% 61% <1% 39% 100% FEMALE Percent 9% 72% 20% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 46% 54% <1% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 10% 88% 2% <1% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Physical appearance declining] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 2 18 2 2 24 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Different values, lifestyles] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 59 96 177 2 334 Weighted N 63 98 170 5 336 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Money problems] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 21 97 59 1 178 Weighted N 20 75 59 1 155 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Major age difference] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 8 15 9 0 32 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Religious differences became intolerable] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 13 13 6 0 32 Weighted N 11 10 8 0 30 Percent 39% 33% 28% <1% 100% Weighted N 11 14 8 0 34 Percent 34% 41% 25% <1% 100% Percent 13% 48% 38% 1% 100% Percent 19% 29% 51% 1% 100% Weighted N 1 15 1 2 19 Percent 4% 80% 6% 9% 100%
MALE Percent <1% 93% <1% 7% 100% MALE Percent 19% 28% 53% <1% 100% MALE Percent 13% 44% 42% 1% 100% MALE Percent 28% 32% 40% <1% 100% MALE Percent 31% 39% 29% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 10% 65% 13% 12% 100% FEMALE Percent 19% 30% 48% 3% 100% FEMALE Percent 14% 53% 33% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 38% 50% 12% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 44% 28% 27% <1% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Cultural differences became intolerable] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 7 8 12 1 28 Weighted N 5 10 10 2 28 Percent 19% 37% 37% 7% 100%
MALE Percent 16% 29% 45% 10% 100%
FEMALE Percent 26% 54% 20% <1% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Alcohol or drug abuse] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 28 170 15 1 214 Weighted N 31 186 21 2 241 TOTAL Unweighted Q3: [Abandonment] Applied mostly to me Applied mostly to spouse Applied to both of us equally REFUSED TOTAL 11 81 4 0 96 Weighted N 13 93 5 0 111 Percent 12% 83% 5% <1% 100% Percent 13% 77% 9% 1% 100%
MALE Percent 33% 46% 21% <1% 100% MALE Percent 26% 70% 4% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 3% 92% 3% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 5% 90% 5% <1% 100%
Q4.
Who asked for the divorce? Me My spouse Both of us jointly

TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 617 343 170 17 1147 Percent 54% 30% 15% 1% 100% MALE Percent 41% 39% 18% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 66% 21% 12% 1% 100%
Q4: Who asked for the divorce?
Me My spouse Both of us jointly REFUSED TOTAL
600 359 167 21 1147
Q5.
How long were you married before you filed for divorce? _____ Years
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 186 216 194 167 197 108 44 18 17 1147 Percent 16% 19% 17% 15% 17% 9% 4% 2% 1% 100% MALE Percent 16% 22% 18% 13% 16% 9% 4% 1% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 17% 16% 16% 16% 19% 10% 4% 2% 2% 100%
Q5: How long were you married before you filed for divorce? (categories)
Less than 5 years 5 to 9 years 10 to 14 years 15 to 19 years 20 to 24 years 25 to 29 years 30 to 34 years 35 years or more REFUSED TOTAL
168 205 193 170 201 128 45 21 16 1147
Q6
How long did you contemplate getting a divorce before finally deciding to do so? Not my decision; came as a surprise from my spouse Less than 1 month 1 month to less than 6 months 6 months to less than 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years to less than 10 years 10 years to less than 15 years 15 years to less than 20 years 20 years or longer
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 229 76 120 167 184 171 101 54 19 9 17 1147 Percent 20% 7% 10% 15% 16% 15% 9% 5% 2% 1% 2% 100% MALE Percent 26% 6% 12% 16% 14% 13% 7% 2% <1% <1% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 14% 7% 9% 13% 18% 16% 10% 8% 3% 1% 1% 100%
Q6: How long did you contemplate getting a divorce before finally deciding to do so?
Not my decision; came as a surprise from my spouse Less than 1 month 1 month to less than 6 months 6 months to less than 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years to less than 10 years 10 years to less than 15 years 15 years to less than 20 years 20 years or longer REFUSED TOTAL
234 62 122 161 186 185 90 53 18 14 22 1147
[ASK Q6A ONLY IF 5 YEARS OR LONGER IN Q6] Q6a. What made you take that long to decide to get divorced? (select up to three) We had counseling first Personally didnt believe in divorce We were trying to make the marriage better We/I got cold feet Waited for cheating to stop / gave spouse another chance Unsure of decision We stayed married because of children Had to prepare financially; could not afford it Just didnt get around to it Did not have a lawyer, didnt know how to start Family and friends were against it Social pressure against divorce Dependent on spouse financially
Need spouse to take care of me physically Emotional attachment/dependence on spouse Didnt want to lose significant portion of my assets Against my culture or religion
TOTAL Unweighted Q6a: What made you take that long to decide to get divorced? We had counseling first Personally didnt believe in divorce We were trying to make the marriage better We/I got cold feet Waited for cheating to stop / gave spouse another chance Unsure of decision We stayed married because of children Had to prepare financially; could not afford it Just didnt get around to it Did not have a lawyer, didnt know how to start Family and friends were against it Social pressure against divorce Dependent on spouse financially Need spouse to take care of me physically Emotional attachment / dependence on spouse Didnt want to lose significant portion of my assets Against my culture or religion Total Respondents Total Responses 22 29 18 4 16 20 85 41 23 10 2 11 17 0 15 Weighted N 19 26 16 2 19 23 78 39 29 10 4 9 12 0 15 Percent 10% 14% 9% 1% 11% 13% 43% 21% 16% 6% 2% 5% 7% <1% 8% MALE Percent 8% 21% 17% 1% 12% 14% 58% 6% 15% 2% <1% 6% <1% <1% 4% FEMALE Percent 11% 11% 5% 1% 10% 12% 37% 27% 16% 7% 3% 4% 10% <1% 10%
12 26 175 351
12 21 183
7% 11% 100%
6% 10% 100%
7% 12% 100%
Q7.
How old were your children, if any, when you got a divorce? (check all that apply) Had no children Less than 2 years old 2 to 5 years old 5 to 11 years old 12 to 17 years old 18 years or older [IF HAD NO CHILDREN, SKIP TO Q8]
TOTAL Unweighted Q7: How old youre your children, if any, when you got a divorce? Had no children Less than 2 years old 2 to 5 years old 5 to 11 years old 12 to 17 years old 18 years or older REFUSED TOTAL 283 21 80 216 347 411 18 1147 Weighted N 268 31 85 215 325 415 14 1147 Percent 23% 3% 7% 19% 28% 36% 1% 100%
MALE Percent 26% 3% 8% 22% 24% 30% 2% 100%
FEMALE Percent 21% 2% 7% 15% 32% 42% 1% 100%
Q7a.
What do you think was your childrens reaction to the divorce? Children were supportive of it Children did not support but were OK with it Children were somewhat upset about it Children were very upset about it
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 321 146 Percent 37% 17% MALE Percent 21% 21% FEMALE Percent 50% 13%
Q7a: What do you think was your children's reaction to the divorce?
Children were supportive of it Children did not support but were OK with it Children were somewhat upset about it Children were very upset about it REFUSED TOTAL
296 149
237 158 24 864
239 154 18 879
27% 18% 2% 100%
34% 21% 3% 100%
21% 15% 1% 100%
[ASK Q7B IF SOMEWHAT UPSET OR VERY UPSET IN Q7A]
Q7b.
If the children were upset about it, how so? Sad Angry Devastated Other: ______________
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 264 165 88 39 1 394 Percent 67% 42% 22% 10% <1% 100% MALE Percent 67% 40% 22% 10% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 67% 45% 24% 10% <1% 100%
Q7b: If the children were upset about it, how so?
Sad Angry Devastated Other REFUSED TOTAL
265 180 84 40 2 395
Q8.
Thinking about your last divorce, do you think you made the right decision to divorce? Yes, absolutely Yes, maybe Not sure No, but did not regret it No, regretted it I had no choice / it wasnt my decision
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 809 62 48 24 21 164 18 1147 Percent 71% 5% 4% 2% 2% 14% 2% 100% MALE Percent 64% 8% 6% 2% 2% 16% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 76% 3% 3% 2% 2% 12% 1% 100%
Q8: Thinking about your last divorce, do you think you made the right decision to divorce?
Yes, absolutely Yes, maybe Not sure No, but did not regret it No, regretted it Not my decision / I didn't have a choice REFUSED TOTAL
791 68 50 20 20 174 24 1147
Q9.
What three things did you like BEST about life after divorce? Freedom/independence to do what I want to do Being able to do things for myself, for my own self-fulfillment Having my own self-identity Having my house the way I want it Better off financially Not having to answer to or deal with another person Being able to play the field (date any person I wish) Being with a better mate (more attractive, more fun, nicer, etc.)
Being free of in-laws Not having to worry as much about my appearance or hygiene Being free of step children Having more sex / different sexual experiences Not having to be responsible for or take care of someone
TOTAL Unweighted Q9: What three things did you like BEST about life after divorce? Freedom/ independence to do what I want to do Being able to do things for myself, for my own self-fulfillment Having my own selfidentity Having my house the way I want it Better off financially Not having to answer to or deal with another person Being able to play the field (date any person I wish) Being with a better mate (more attractive, more fun, nicer, etc.) Being free of in-laws Not having to worry as much about my appearance or hygiene Being free of step children Having more sex / different sexual experiences Not having to be responsible for or take care of someone REFUSED TOTAL 499 Weighted N 470 Percent 41% MALE Percent 39% FEMALE Percent 43%
400 403 158 257 375
400 408 177 254 358
35% 36% 15% 22% 31%
31% 21% 14% 27% 25%
38% 49% 17% 18% 37%
48
49
4%
7%
2%
203 58 2 51 83
205 67 1 43 74
18% 6% <1% 4% 7%
26% 8% <1% 6% 11%
11% 4% <1% 2% 2%
159 63 1147
159 55 1147
14% 5% 100%
10% 7% 100%
17% 3% 100%
Q10.
What TWO things did you like LEAST about life after divorce? Not having someone around with whom to do things Not having someone to talk to Fear of sexually transmitted diseases / HIV Raising children by myself Feeling self-conscious about being divorced in a world of mostly couples Nobody around to take care of me when Im sick or need help Fear of crime / being alone Financial problems / not having enough money Not getting affection from someone Not being in a sexual relationship Tendency to do unhealthy things (e.g. eating poorly, drinking, etc.)
TOTAL Unweighted Q10: What TWO things did you like LEAST about life after divorce? Not having someone around with whom to do things Not having someone to talk to Fear of sexually transmitted diseases / HIV Raising children by myself Feeling self-conscious about being divorced in a world of mostly couples Nobody around to take care of me when Im sick or need help Fear of crime / being alone Financial problems / not having enough money No getting affection from someone Not being in a sexual relationship Tendency to do unhealthy things (e.g. eating poorly, drinking, etc.) REFUSED TOTAL 410 216 88 108 Weighted N 393 238 106 100 Percent 34 21 9 9
MALE Percent 38 24 10 5
FEMALE Percent 31 18 9 12
185
173
15
13
17
110 53 292 203 120
109 62 294 197 125
10 5 26 17 11
10 1 14 20 16
10 10 37 15 7
100 103 1147
104 94 1147
9 8 100%
12 9 100%
6 7 100%
Q11.
Have you ever experienced any of these major personal life events? (check all that apply) Lost your job Suffered from a major illness Death of a spouse None of these
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 512 343 96 428 18 1147 Percent 45% 30% 8% 37% 2% 100% MALE Percent 50% 29% 6% 36% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 40% 31% 10% 39% 2% 100%
Q11: Have you ever experienced any of these major personal life events?
Lost your job Suffered from a major illness Death of a spouse None of these REFUSED TOTAL
539 338 91 436 19 1147
[ASK Q12A IF LOST YOUR JOB SELECTED IN Q11]

Q12a. Comparing your last divorce to the loss of a job, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Job loss was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult
TOTAL Unweighted Q12a: Comparing your last divorce to the loss of a job, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Job loss was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult REFUSED TOTAL 138 129 265 7 539 Weighted N 142 122 243 5 512 Percent 28% 24% 47% 1% 100% MALE Percent 30% 22% 48% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 26% 26% 47% 2% 100%
[ASK Q12B IF SUFFERED FROM MAJOR ILLNESS IN Q11] Q12b. Comparing your last divorce to a major illness, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Major illness was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult
TOTAL Unweighted Q12b: Comparing your last divorce to a major illness, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Major illness was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult REFUSED TOTAL 131 78 124 5 338 Weighted N 141 95 104 3 343 Percent 41% 28% 30% 1% 100% MALE Percent 48% 19% 31% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 35% 35% 30% <1% 100%
[ASK Q12C IF DEATH OF A SPOUSE SELECTED IN Q11] Q12c. Comparing your last divorce to the death of a spouse, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Spouses death was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult
TOTAL Unweighted Q12c: Comparing your last divorce to the death of a spouse, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Spouse's death was more difficult About the same Divorce was more difficult REFUSED TOTAL 55 16 20 0 91 Weighted N 63 15 18 0 96 Percent 65% 16% 18% <1% 100% MALE Percent 58% 32% 11% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 70% 7% 23% <1% 100%
Q13.
Do you think having a happy marriage is a matter of luck, work in finding the right person, hard work during marriage, or a combination of these? Luck Work in finding the right person Hard work during marriage Combination of luck and work
Q13: Do you think having a happy marriage is a matter of luck, work in finding the right person, hard work during marriage, or a combination of these?
Luck Work in finding the right person Hard work during marriage Combination of luck and work REFUSED TOTAL
20 188 285 634 20 1147
Q14.
Were your parents divorced, or did they stay married throughout their adult lives? Parents divorced Parents stayed married
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 343 786 18 1147 Percent 30% 69% 2% 100% MALE Percent 29% 69% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 30% 68% 1% 100%
Q14: Were your parents divorced, or did they stay married throughout their adult lives?
Parents divorced Parents stayed married REFUSED TOTAL
308 819 20 1147
Q15.
How long after your divorce did you start dating again? Started before the divorce was final Less than 6 months after the divorce 6 months to less than 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years or longer Have not dated since the divorce [IF HAVE NOT DATED IN Q15, SKIP TO Q20]
TOTAL Unweighted Q15: How long after your divorce did you start dating again? Started before the divorce was final Less than 6 months after the divorce 6 months to less than 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years or longer Have not dated since the divorce REFUSED TOTAL 299 148 139 155 141 63 181 21 1147 Weighted N 298 154 142 163 139 57 177 17 1147 Percent 26% 13% 12% 14% 12% 5% 15% 1% 100%
MALE Percent 32% 15% 13% 14% 10% 3% 11% 2% 100%
FEMALE Percent 20% 12% 12% 14% 14% 7% 20% 1% 100%
(There were no questions Q16 or Q17.)
Q18.
What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Companionship, but no sex Sex Find a new partner to live with Find a new partner to marry Find a new mother / father for children Lift my spirits / ease depression Prove to myself that I was still attractive Prove to ex-spouse I was still attractive Prove to myself that I was getting on with my life Prove to ex-spouse that I was getting on with my life Appease friends/family who coaxed me into dating
TOTAL Unweighted Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Companionship, but no sex Sex Find a new partner to live with Find a new partner to marry Find a new mother / father for children Lift my spirits / ease depression Prove to myself that I was still attractive Prove to ex-spouse I was still attractive Prove to myself that I was getting on with my life Prove to ex-spouse that I was getting on with my life Appease friends/family who coaxed me into dating REFUSED TOTAL 140 105 87 103 3 159 42 3 218 Weighted N 142 102 79 102 2 170 43 6 225 Percent 15% 11% 8% 11% <1% 18% 4% 1% 23%
MALE Percent 12% 17% 11% 12% <1% 16% 2% 1% 19%
FEMALE Percent 17% 4% 5% 9% <1% 20% 7% <1% 27%
23
27
3%
3%
3%
30 53 966
28 44 970
3% 5% 100%
2% 5% 100%
3% 4% 100%
Q19.
How long after the divorce did it take before you were in a serious, exclusive relationship? Less than 6 months 6 months to 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years or longer I havent had a serious, exclusive relationship yet
Q19: How long after the divorce did it take before you were in a serious, exclusive relationship?
Less than 6 months 6 months to 1 year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 years to less than 5 years 5 years or longer I haven't had a serious, exclusive relationship yet REFUSED TOTAL
169 112 151 206 103 200 25 966
Q20.
After your divorce, how did you feel about re-marrying? I wanted to remarry I was reluctant to remarry I did not want to remarry I was not sure
Q20: After your divorce, how did you feel about remarrying?
I wanted to remarry I was reluctant to remarry I did not want to remarry I was not sure REFUSED TOTAL
252 167 424 281 23 1147
[ASK Q21A ONLY IF WANTED TO REMARRY IN Q20] Q21a. If you wanted to remarry, what were you looking for this time around? (select up to 3) Someone who could satisfy my sexual needs Someone who was more physically attractive A personality compatible with mine Someone with no baggage (previous relationships, spouse, children) Someone to take care of me Someone with good character, would be nice to me Someone with more money, financially stable Someone who will simply be a good companion
TOTAL Unweighted Q21a: If you wanted to remarry, what were you looking for this time around? Someone who could satisfy my sexual needs Someone who was more physically attractive A personality compatible with mine Someone with no baggage (previous relationships, spouse, children) Someone to take care of me Someone with good character, would be nice to me Someone with more money, financially stable Someone who will simply be a good companion REFUSED TOTAL 47 Weighted N 40 Percent 16% MALE Percent 19% FEMALE Percent 12%
19 151
21 142
8% 57%
11% 62%
4% 49%
21
18
7%
8%
6%
20 143
27 142
11% 57%
7% 47%
15% 47%
29
25
10%
4%
4%
133 2 252
135 2 251
54% 1% 100%
57% 1% 100%
57% 1% 100%
[ASK Q21B ONLY IF RELUCTANT OR DID NOT WANT TO REMARRY IN Q17] Q21b. If you were reluctant or didnt want to marry, why not? (select up to 3) Having too much fun being divorce Did not want to have another bad marriage Sexual orientation, cant really get married Feel bitter / didnt want to have much to do with the opposite sex I would not be able to make it work Children were against it It would be bad for my finances Its too much work finding someone Lifestyle or work/career would make it difficult Culture or religion does not allow remarriage if spouse is still alive
TOTAL Unweighted Q21b: If you were reluctant or didnt want to marry, why not? Having too much fun being divorce Did not want to have another bad marriage Sexual orientation, cant really get married Feel bitter / didnt want to have much to do with the opposite sex I would not be able to make it work Children were against it It would be bad for my finances Its too much work finding someone Lifestyle or work/career would make it difficult Culture or religion does not allow remarriage if spouse is still alive REFUSED TOTAL 107 378 2 78 69 25 57 113 73 31 19 591 Weighted N 96 386 1 82 70 29 58 113 71 26 19 595 Percent 16% 65% <1% 14% 12% 5% 10% 19% 12% 4% 3% 100% MALE Percent 19% 67% <1% 10% 14% 3% 11% 18% 18% 3% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 14% 63% <1% 17% 10% 7% 9% 19% 8% 5% 4% 100%
Q22.
What were the most difficult things you had to go through during the divorce process? (select up to 3) Loneliness, depression Little or no sex Dealing with lawyers Not having someone to love or to love me Dealing with uncertainty, not knowing whats ahead for me Being a divorce parent Dealing with my children Not being with my children Working for / fighting for custody of my children
Rejection or disapproval by family or friends Sense of failure Feelings of inadequacy, losing self-esteem or self-confidence Feelings of desertion and/or betrayal
TOTAL Unweighted Q22: What were the most difficult things you had to go through during the divorce process? Loneliness, depression Little or no sex Dealing with lawyers Not having someone to love or to love me Dealing with uncertainty; not knowing whats ahead for me Being a divorce parent Dealing with my children Not being with my children Working for / fighting for custody of my children Rejection or disapproval by family or friends Sense of failure Feelings of inadequacy, losing self-esteem or selfconfidence Feelings of desertion and/or betrayal REFUSED TOTAL 325 79 224 239 Weighted N 335 67 218 252 Percent 29% 6% 19% 22% MALE Percent 30% 8% 21% 21% FEMALE Percent 28% 4% 17% 23%
443 115 111 132 61
453 109 102 136 53
40% 10% 9% 12% 5%
29% 5% 11% 22% 7%
49% 13% 7% 2% 3%
75 273 208
74 258 226
7% 23% 20%
5% 21% 15%
8% 24% 24%
299 54 1147
290 53 1147
25% 5% 100%
26% 4% 100%
25% 5% 100%
Q23.
What were your biggest fears after the divorce? (select up to 3) Being financially destitute Being alone Never finding someone to marry or live with Children may never forgive me I wouldnt see my children as much My family would never accept me Fear of failing again (getting divorced again if I chose to remarry) Children may never have a mother / father May stay depressed for a long time May stay angry/bitter for a long time
TOTAL Unweighted Q23: What were your biggest fears after the divorce? Being financially destitute Being alone Never finding someone to marry or live with Children may never forgive me I wouldnt see my children as much My family would never accept me Fear of failing again Children may never have a mother/father May stay depressed for a long time May stay angry/bitter for a long time REFUSED TOTAL 318 490 286 94 163 18 341 44 179 227 106 1147 Weighted N 326 513 273 101 163 15 355 49 181 224 94 1147 Percent 28% 45% 24% 9% 14% 1% 31% 4% 16% 20% 8% 100%
MALE Percent 11% 42% 24% 10% 27% 2% 28% 5% 21% 21% 9% 100%
FEMALE Percent 44% 47% 24% 8% 3% 1% 34% 4% 11% 18% 8% 100%
Q24.
Where did you get help to deal with your feelings, needs, and problems relating to the divorce? (select up to 3) Professional counseling or therapy Religious faith and/or prayer Going to someone from church, synagogue or religious organization Reading self-help books or other materials Going to a support group for people going through divorce Adult children Other family members or relatives Friends or co-workers Lawyer(s) Community organizations Social worker Employer Physician or medical professional
TOTAL Unweighted Q24: Where did you get help to deal with your feelings, needs, and problems relating to the divorce? Professional counseling or therapy Religious faith and/or prayer Going to someone from church, synagogue or religious organization Reading self-help books or other materials Going to a support group for people going through divorce Adult children Other family members or relatives Friends or co-workers Lawyer(s) Community organizations Social worker Employer Physician or medical professional REFUSED TOTAL 210 341 Weighted N 182 350 Percent 16% 31%
MALE Percent 14% 23%
FEMALE Percent 18% 37%
89
93
8%
7%
9%
176
166
14%
9%
20%
67 118 351 581 41 38 8 22 69 123 1147
61 128 373 559 48 43 15 21 62 114 1147
5% 11% 33% 49% 4% 4% 1% 2% 5% 10% 100%
5% 7% 28% 49% 4% 3% 2% 3% 4% 15% 100%
6% 16% 36% 49% 5% 5% 1% 1% 7% 5% 100%
Q25.
What, if any, of the following did you use to cope with the stress of the divorce? (check all that apply) Took anti-depressant drugs Took other drugs not prescribed by doctor Exercise Drinking Smoking Eating or over-eating Travel Pornography Got a pet Sexual relationship with a new partner Sexual relationship with several new partners Hired a prostitute Withdrew from family and friends / spent more time alone Focused more on my job / became a workaholic None of the above, just toughed it out
TOTAL Unweighted Q25: What, if any, of the following did you use to cope with the stress of the divorce? Took anti-depressant drugs Took other drugs not prescribed by doctor Exercise Drinking Smoking Eating or over-eating Travel Pornography Got a pet Sexual relationship with new partner Sexual relationship with several new partners Hired a prostitute Withdrew from family and friends / spent more time at home Focused more on my job / became a workaholic None of the above, just toughed it out REFUSED TOTAL 124 20 221 153 153 99 131 12 82 171 62 9 136 Weighted N 125 25 200 163 170 97 122 10 100 165 54 12 142 Percent 11% 2% 17% 14% 15% 9% 11% 1% 9% 14% 5% 1% 12%
MALE Percent 9% 4% 16% 21% 14% 6% 15% 2% 6% 20% 8% 2% 13%
FEMALE Percent 13% 1% 19% 8% 15% 11% 7% <1% 11% 9% 2% <1% 12%
228 399 33 1147
230 407 24 1147
20% 36% 2% 100%
18% 32% 3% 100%
22% 39% 1% 100%
Q26.
What type of relationship did you have with your spouse immediately after and up to several years after your divorce? (select one) No contact with spouse at all Not friendly, but talked once in awhile Friendly afterwards Had sex with spouse occasionally Had sex with spouse often Remarried the same person
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 353 396 309 36 9 23 21 1147 Percent 31% 35% 27% 3% 1% 2% 2% 100% MALE Percent 27% 35% 27% 5% 1% 2% 2% 100% FEMALE Percent 34% 34% 27% 2% <1% 1% 2% 100%
Q26: What type of relationship did you have with your spouse immediately after and up to several years after your divorce?
No contact with spouse at all Not friendly, but talked once in awhile Friendly afterwards Had sex with spouse occasionally Had sex with spouse often Remarried the same person REFUSED TOTAL
335 421 298 41 10 20 22 1147
[ASK Q27-Q29 ONLY IF S3 = WIDOW/WIDOWER, MARRIED, OR MARRIED/SEPARATED. TO Q30.] Q27.
ELSE SKIP
If you remarried (to the same person or another person), what did you do THIS TIME that you didnt do LAST TIME? (select up to 3) Lived together before marriage Got to know spouse longer before getting married Had pre-marital counseling Married someone closer to my age Married someone much younger Married someone much older Got a pre-nuptial agreement Chose a partner with whom I had more in common Chose a partner who shares my values / beliefs Chose a partner who shared my political orientation Chose a partner who shared my ethnicity Chose a partner who was more fun / adventurous Chose a partner that my family / children liked
Q27: If you remarried (to the same person or another person), what did you do THIS TIME that you didnt do LAST TIME?
Lived together before marriage Got to know spouse longer before getting married Had pre-marital counseling Married someone closer to my age Married someone much younger Married someone much older Got a pre-nuptial agreement Chose a partner with whom I had more in common Chose a partner who shares my values/ beliefs Chose a partner who shared my political orientation Chose a partner who shared my ethnicity Chose a partner who was more fun / adventurous Chose a partner that my family/children liked REFUSED TOTAL
107 111 20 31 60 14 15 167
182
170
41%
39%
43%
5 11 76 41 51 413
3 12 83 52 51 418
1% 3% 20% 12% 12% 100%
1% 3% 21% 8% 10% 100%
1% 4% 19% 18% 15% 100%
[SKIP Q28 IF WIDOW/WIDOWER IN S3] Q28. If you remarried (to the same person or another person), what are you doing NOW to prevent another divorce? Check no more than three. Go to marital counseling Dont cheat on my spouse Make more money Handle finances better Meet my spouses sexual needs Put more effort into staying physically attractive Be more affectionate day to day Manage the home better Have better relationship with in-laws Give my spouse more freedom Strike a better balance between work and home life Not doing anything in particular
TOTAL Unweighted Q28: If you remarried (to the same person or another person), what are you doing NOW to prevent another divorce? Check no more than three. Go to marital counseling Dont cheat on my spouse Make more money Handle finances better Meet my spouses sexual needs Put more effort into staying physically attractive Be more affectionate day to day Manage the home better Have better relationship with inlaws Give my spouse more freedom Strike a better balance between work and home life Not doing anything in particular REFUSED TOTAL 10 53 10 36 39 20 118 36 10 35 64 131 29 362 Weighted N 9 55 12 39 45 22 124 42 14 39 62 119 28 361 Percent 2% 15% 3% 11% 13% 6% 34% 12% 4% 11% 17% 33% 8% 100% MALE Percent 3% 19% 5% 10% 10% 2% 38% 15% 5% 12% 20% 27% 7% 100% FEMALE Percent 2% 9% 1% 13% 17% 12% 28% 7% 2% 9% 12% 43% 9% 100%
[SKIP Q29 IF WIDOW/WIDOWER IN S3] Q29. If remarried (to the same person or another person), what general feeling do you have about your current marriage? Its on solid ground; I expect it to last all my life Its working pretty well, and Im optimistic about the future Overall, not much better or worse than my previous marriage
Its not working well, and Im not optimistic about the future I think this marriage may also end in divorce
TOTAL Unweighted Q29: If remarried, what general feeling do you have about your current marriage? It's on solid ground; I expect it to last all my life It's working pretty well, and I'm optimistic about the futur Overall, not much better or worse than my previous marriage It's not working well, and I'm not optimistic about the futu I think this marriage may also end in divorce REFUSED TOTAL 232 Weighted N 241 Percent 67% MALE Percent 68% FEMALE Percent 65%
80
74
20%
19%
23%
13
2%
3%
1%
1%
1%
<1%
14 19 362
14 20 361
4% 5% 100%
3% 5% 100%
5% 6% 100%
[ASK Q30 ONLY IF YES IN S3]
Q30.
While your last divorce was in your 40s or older, did you also experience a divorce when you were younger, in your 20s or 30s? Yes No
TOTAL Unweighted Weighted N 486 48 2 536 Percent 91% 9% <1% 100% MALE Percent 89% 10% <1% 100% FEMALE Percent 92% 8% <1% 100%
Q30: While your last divorce was in your 40s or older, did you also experience a divorce when you were younger, in your 20s or 30s?
Yes No REFUSED TOTAL
462 52 3 517
[ASK Q30A ONLY IF YES IN Q30; ELSE SKIP TO Q31]
Q30a. Was it more difficult or devastating to divorce when you were younger (in your 20s or 30s) or when you were older (40 or older)? Much more difficult when I was younger Slightly more difficult when I was younger About the same each time Slightly more difficult when I was older Much more difficult when I was older
TOTAL Unweighted Q30a: Was it more difficult or devastating to divorce when you were younger or when you were older? Much more difficult when I was younger Slightly more difficult when I was younger About the same each time Slightly more difficult when I was older Much more difficult when I was older REFUSED TOTAL 192 27 82 44 114 3 462 Weighted N 194 33 100 44 112 3 486 Percent 40% 7% 21% 9% 23% 1% 100%
MALE Percent 46% 7% 18% 7% 21% <1% 100%
FEMALE Percent 35% 7% 23% 11% 24% 1% 100%
Q30b. Why do you feel this way? Please explain your reasons below.
FILTERED ON MORE DIFFICULT WHEN YOUNGER FROM Q30A
TOTAL Unweighted Q30b: Why do you feel this way? (openend response to Q30a) [Base = those who said divorce was more difficult when they were YOUNGER] Child / Children involved Deeper emotional bond Married longer Financially difficult Expected to be married forever Spouse wanted divorce Too young / lacked maturity Felt betrayed / marital infidelity Fearful of spouse Feelings of failure or rejection Harder to find someone new Wiser / more aware of difficulties Neither was particularly difficult Other misc. Dont Know TOTAL 106 21 13 21 12 8 25 13 7 8 1 4 1 9 3 189 Weighted N 112 24 12 25 11 8 28 13 6 5 2 7 1 4 4 198 Percent 57% 12% 6% 13% 6% 4% 14% 7% 3% 3% 1% 3% 1% 3% 2% 100% MALE Percent 48% 6% 6% 8% 8% 4% 15% 8% 0% 1% 0% 3% 1% 4% 4% 100% FEMALE Percent 65% 18% 6% 17% 3% 5% 14% 6% 5% 4% 2% 4% 0% 0% 0% 100%
FILTERED ON MORE DIFFICULT WHEN OLDER FROM Q30A

TOTAL Unweighted Q30b: Why do you feel this way? (openend response to Q30a) [Base = those who said divorce was more difficult when they were OLDER] Child / Children involved Deeper emotional bond Married longer Financially difficult Expected to be married forever Spouse wanted divorce Too young / lacked maturity Felt betrayed / marital infidelity Fearful of spouse Feelings of failure or rejection Harder to find someone new Wiser / more aware of difficulties Older / more difficulty to adjust Neither was particularly difficult Both were equally difficult Other misc. Dont Know TOTAL 28 12 12 11 9 7 5 9 6 7 23 16 18 1 1 8 1 135 Weighted N 30 11 12 11 7 3 5 10 8 6 19 20 20 1 1 7 1 135 Percent 22% 8% 9% 8% 5% 3% 4% 7% 6% 4% 14% 15% 15% 1% 1% 5% 1% 100% MALE Percent 25% 14% 5% 2% 6% 4% 5% 1% 0% 8% 16% 12% 15% 2% 1% 2% 1% 100% FEMALE Percent 20% 5% 11% 12% 5% 2% 3% 12% 10% 1% 12% 16% 15% 0% 0% 8% 0% 100%
COMPARING MORE DIFFICULT WHEN YOUNGER to MORE DIFFICULT WHEN OLDER
MORE DIFFICULT WHEN YOUNGRE Percent Q30b: Why do you feel this way? (openend response to Q30a) Child / Children involved Deeper emotional bond Married longer Financially difficult Expected to be married forever Spouse wanted divorce Too young / lacked maturity Felt betrayed / marital infidelity Fearful of spouse Feelings of failure or rejection Harder to find someone new Wiser / more aware of difficulties Older / more difficulty to adjust Neither was particularly difficult Both were equally difficult Other misc. Dont Know TOTAL 57% 12% 6% 13% 6% 4% 14% 7% 3% 3% 1% 3% 0% 1% 0% 3% 2% 100%
MORE DIFFICULT WHEN OLDER Percent 22% 8% 9% 8% 5% 3% 4% 7% 6% 4% 14% 15% 15% 1% 1% 5% 1% 100%
Q31.
During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in the following activities? Check one answer for each activity. If an activity does not apply, check not at all.
Not at all Sexual touching or hugging Kissing Sexual intercourse Oral sex Self-stimulation / masturbation Anal sex
About once a week
Daily
TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Sexual touching or hugging] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 1147 1147 100% 413 161 88 171 241 73 Weighted N 433 152 88 173 234 67 Percent 38% 13% 8% 15% 20% 6%
MALE Percent 23% 17% 10% 19% 24% 7% 100%
FEMALE Percent 51% 10% 6% 11% 17% 5% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Kissing] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 381 131 61 158 347 69 1147 TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Sexual intercourse] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 522 197 172 157 18 81 1147 Weighted N 532 184 168 163 27 73 1147 Percent 46% 16% 15% 14% 2% 6% 100% Weighted N 401 124 57 152 349 64 1147 Percent 35% 11% 5% 13% 30% 6% 100%
MALE Percent 22% 14% 4% 19% 36% 6% 100% MALE Percent 33% 19% 21% 18% 2% 6% 100%
FEMALE Percent 47% 8% 6% 8% 25% 5% 100%
FEMALE Percent 59% 13% 9% 10% 3% 6% 100%
TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Oral sex] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 683 187 97 74 11 95 1147 TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Selfstimulation / masturbation] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 620 239 79 77 19 113 1147 Weighted N 663 216 66 71 20 111 1147 TOTAL Unweighted Q31: During the past 6 months, how often, on average, have you engaged in [Anal sex] Not at all Once or twice a month About once a week More than once a week Daily REFUSED TOTAL 993 29 4 5 2 114 1147 Weighted N 985 33 4 4 3 119 1147 Percent 86% 3% <1% <1% <1% 10% 100% Percent 58% 19% 6% 6% 2% 10% 100% Weighted N 683 189 91 67 19 98 1147 Percent 60% 17% 8% 6% 2% 9% 100%
MALE Percent 49% 20% 12% 7% 2% 10% 100% MALE Percent 47% 20% 9% 9% 3% 12% 100% MALE Percent 83% 4% <1% <1% <1% 12% 100%
FEMALE Percent 69% 14% 4% 4% 2% 7% 100% FEMALE Percent 68% 18% 3% 3% 1% 7% 100% FEMALE Percent 89% 2% <1% <1% 1% 8% 100%
[END]
ADDITIONALRESPONDENTDATA
The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 B-1
Has Respondent ever had DEPRESSION?

Total Weighted Unweighted Yes, self-diagnosed only Yes, doctor confirmed No 979 984 4% Gender Male Female Total 469 493 3% 510 491 4% 31% 65%
25% 18% 72% 79%
During an average week, how often do you exercise?

Total Weighted Unweighted Never Less than once a week 1-2 times/week 3-5 times/week 6 or more times/week 1016 1021 Gender Male Female Total 488 514 528 507 17% 19% 25% 31% 8%
22% 29% 19% 19% 23% 20% 27% 22% 9% 10%
How much stress, strain, or pressure have you been under during the past few months?
Total Weighted Unweighted Almost more than I Could bear or stand Quite a bit of pressure 1017 1022 7% Gender Male Female Total 489 515 6% 528 507 8% 27% 28% 21% 10% 7%
22% 17%
Some, more than usual 25% 21% Some, but about usual A little None 24% 27% 14% 18% 9% 11%
Religion
Total Weighted Unweighted Baptist Protestant Catholic Mormon Jewish Muslim Hindu Buddist Pentecostal Eastern Orthodox Other Christian Other Non-Christian None 889 873 Gender Male Female Total 462 481 427 392 19% 29% 19% 1% 1% <1% <1% 0.2% 7% <1% 7% 8% 10%
21% 23% 28% 28% 18% 17% 1% 1% 2% 2%
<1% <1% 0.2% 0.4% 0.3% 0.3% 5% 4%
<1% <1% 8% 6% 8% 5%
11% 11%
Self-Assessment of Health
Total Weighted 1014 Gender Male Female Total 486 514 529 508 12% 32% 35% 16% 4%
Unweighted 1022 Excellent Very Good Good Fair Poor
11% 10% 33% 35% 35% 36% 16% 15% 4% 5%
Respondents Marital Status

Total Weighted Unweighted Married Divorce (Never Married) Divorced Widowed Separated Gender Male Female Total 1147 553 1148 581 31% 42% 1% 1% 594 567 22% 1% 68% 6% 3%
61% 53% 5% 3% 3% 2%
Head of Household Status

Total Weighted 1147 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 14% 86%
Unweighted 1148 No Yes
15% 15% 86% 85%
Household Size (Including adults and children of all ages, including infants)
Total Weighted Unweighted 1 1147 1148 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 40% 60%
38% 35%
More than one 62% 65%
Presence Age in Household (Incidence)

Total Weighted 1147 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 <1% 4% 9% 8% 594 567 2% 2% 8% 10% 100%
Unweighted 1148 1 or younger 2 to 5 6 to 12 13 to 17 18 or older 1% 3% 9% 9%
100% 100%
Presence Age in Household (Share)

Total Weighted Gender Male Female Total 2302 1133 1169 1075 1% 2% 5% 6% 86%
Unweighted 2257 1182 1 or younger 2 to 5 6 to 12 13 to 17 18 or older 1% 2% 5% 6% <1% 2% 6% 5%
87% 87%
Respondents Race/Ethnicity
Total Weighted Unweighted White (Non-Hispanic) 1147 1148 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 79% 13% 3% 5%
78% 78%
Black/African American, Non-Hispanic 13% 12% Other, Non-Hispanic Hispanic 3% 6% 3% 7%
Respondents Highest Completed Education Level

Total Weighted Unweighted Less than high school Some high school, no diploma 1147 1148 5% 12% Gender Male Female Total 553 581 7% 8% 594 567 4% 15% 31% 22% 6% 13% 8% 2% <1%
High school diploma or equivalent (GED) 32% 34% Some college, no degree Associate Degree Bachelors Degree Masters Degree Professional Degree Doctorate Degree 22% 22% 7% 8%
13% 13% 7% 2% 1% 5% 2% 2%
Respondents Employment Status

Total Weighted Unweighted Unemployed, temporarily Laid off, or looking for work Retired Homemaker Disabled Paid Employee Self-Employed Owner or Partner Work in Family Business Other 1147 1148 4% Gender Male Female Total 553 581 4% 594 567 3% 23% 5% 13% 45% 6% 2% 1% 2%
25% 28% 3% <1% 13% 14% 44% 43% 7% 2% 8% 3%
<1% <1% 1% 1%
Past Year Household Income Before taxes (Total Respondents)

Total Weighted Unweighted 1147 1148 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 59% 33% 9% 2%
Less than $35k 51% 44% $35k - $74k $75k or more $125k or more 37% 41% 12% 16% 3% 5%
Household Dual Income Status

Unweighted 1148 No Yes
65% 61% 35% 39%
Household Ownership Status

Total Weighted Unweighted Own Rent Do not pay for housing 1147 1148 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 67% 28% 4%
69% 71% 26% 24% 5% 5%
Type of Housing
Total Weighted Unweighted 1147 1148 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 58% 7% 18% 4% 11% 3%
Divorce family detached house 61% 64% Divorce family attached house Apartment Condominium or Co-op Manufactured or mobile home Other 6% 5%
15% 12% 4% 5%
11% 11% 3% 4%
Region 4 (based on State of Residence)

Total Weighted 1147 Gender Male Female Total 553 581 594 567 18% 20% 39% 24%
Unweighted 1148 Northeast Midwest South West
17% 17% 20% 20% 39% 40% 24% 24%
Metro/Non-Metro (based on MSA)

Unweighted 1148 Non-Metro Metro
19% 16% 81% 84%
METHODOLOGYANDTECHNICALNOTES
The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 C-1
Introduction AARPcontractedwithKnowledgeNetworkstoconductthissurveyusingits researchpanel,designedtoberepresentativeoftheentireU.S.population.Thepanel isrepresentativebecauseitisrecruitedusinghighqualityprobabilitysampling techniquesandisnotlimitedtocurrentWebusersorcomputerowners.Knowledge Networksselectshouseholdsusingrandomdigitdialing(RDD)andprovides selectedhouseholdswithfreehardwareandInternetaccess.Thisallowssurveysto beadministeredusingaWebbrowserandenablestheinclusionofmultimedia content.Oncepersonsarerecruitedtothepanel,theycanbecontactedbyemail (insteadofbyphoneormail).Thispermitssurveystobefieldedveryquicklyand economically.Inaddition,thisapproachreducestheburdenplacedonrespondents, sinceemailnotificationislessobtrusivethantelephonecalls,andmostrespondents findansweringWebquestionnairestobemoreinterestingandengagingthanbeing questionedbyatelephoneinterviewer. PanelRecruitmentMethodology KnowledgeNetworkspanelrecruitmentmethodologyusesthequality standardsestablishedbythebestRandomDigitDialing(RDD)surveysconducted fortheFederalGovernment. KnowledgeNetworksutilizeslistassistedRDDsamplingtechniquesonthe sampleframeconsistingoftheentireU.S.telephonepopulation.Thesampleframeis updatedquarterly.KnowledgeNetworksexcludesonlythosebanksoftelephone numbers(consistingof100telephonenumbers)thathavezerodirectorylistedphone numbers.KnowledgeNetworkstelephonenumbersareselectedfromthe1+banks withequalprobabilityofselectionforeachnumber.Notethatthesamplingisdone withoutreplacementtoensurethatnumbersalreadyfieldedbyKnowledge Networksdonotgetfieldedagain. Havinggeneratedtheinitiallistoftelephonenumbers,thesamplepreparation systemexcludesconfirmeddisconnectedandnonresidentialtelephonenumbers. Next,thesampleisscreenedtoexcludenumbersthatarenotintheWebTVInternet ServiceProvidernetwork.Thisprocessresultsintheexclusionofapproximatelysix percenttoeightpercentoftheU.S.population.Thispercentageisdiminishing steadilyandasofJuly2001,KnowledgeNetworksbegantoincludeasmallsample
fromtheoutofWebTVInternetServiceProvidernetworkinthepaneltorepresent theseareasandreducecoverageerror. TelephonenumbersforwhichKnowledgeNetworksisabletorecoveravalid postaladdress(about50%)aresentanadvancemailinginformingthemthatthey havebeenselectedtoparticipateintheKnowledgeNetworksPanel.Inadditionto informationabouttheKnowledgeNetworksPanel,theadvancemailingalso containsamonetaryincentivetoencouragecooperationwhentheinterviewercalls. Followingthemailing,thetelephonerecruitmentprocessbegins.The numberscalledbyinterviewersconsistofallnumberssentanadvancemailing,as wellas50percentofthenumbersnotsentanadvancemailing.Theresultingcost efficiencymorethanoffsetsthedecreaseinprecisioncausedbytheneedforsample weights.Casessenttotelephoneinterviewersaredialedupto90days,withatleast 15dialattemptsoncaseswherenooneanswersthephoneand25dialattemptson phonenumbersknowntobeassociatedwithhouseholds.Extensiverefusal conversionisalsoperformed. Experiencedinterviewersconductallrecruitmentinterviews.Aninterview, whichtypicallyrequiresabout10minutes,beginswiththeinterviewerinformingthe householdmemberthattheyhavebeenselectedtojointheKnowledgeNetworks Panel.Theyaretoldthatinreturnforcompletingashortsurveyweekly,the householdwillbegivenaWebTVsettopboxandfreemonthlyInternetaccess.All membersinthehouseholdarethenenumerated,andsomeinitialdemographic variablesandbackgroundinformationofpriorcomputerandInternetusageare collected. Toensureconsistentdeliveryofsurveycontent,eachhouseholdisprovided withidenticalhardware,eveniftheycurrentlyownacomputerorhaveInternet access.MicrosoftsWebTVisthehardwareplatformcurrentlyusedbythe KnowledgeNetworkspanel.Thedeviceconsistsofasettopboxthatconnectstoa TVandthetelephone.Italsoincludesaremotekeyboardandpointingdevice. WebTVhasabuiltin56Kmodemthatprovidesthehouseholdwithaconnectionto theInternet.Thebaseunitalsohasasmallharddrivetoaccommodatelargefile downloads,includingvideofiles.Filedownloadsdonotrequireanyuser interventionandusuallyoccurduringoffhours. Priortoshipment,eachunitiscustomconfiguredwithindividualemail accounts,sothatitisreadyforimmediateusebythehousehold.Mosthouseholds
areabletoinstallthehardwarewithoutadditionalassistance,thoughKnowledge Networksmaintainsatelephonetechnicalsupportlineandwill,whenneeded, provideonsiteinstallation.TheKnowledgeNetworksCallCenteralsocontacts householdmemberswhodonotrespondtoemailandattemptstorestorecontact andcooperation. Allnewpanelmembersaresentaninitialsurveytoconfirmequipment installationandfamiliarizethemwiththeWebTVunit.Demographicssuchas gender,age,race,income,andeducationarecollectedforeachparticipanttocreatea memberprofile.Thisinformationcanbeusedtodetermineeligibilityforspecific studiesandneednotbegatheredwitheachsurvey. SurveyAdministration Forclientbasedsurveys,asampleisdrawnatrandomfromactivepanel memberswhomeetthescreeningcriteria(ifany)fortheclientsstudy.Thetypical samplesizeisbetween200and2000persons,dependingonthepurposeofthestudy. Onceselected,memberscanbesentanadvanceletterbymailseveraldayspriorto receivingthequestionnairethroughtheirWebTVappliancetonotifythemofan important,upcomingsurvey. Onceassignedtoasurvey,membersreceiveanotificationemailontheir WebTVlettingthemknowthereisanewsurveyavailableforthemtotake.Theemail notificationcontainsabuttontostartthesurvey.Nologinnameorpasswordis required.Thefieldperioddependsontheclientsneeds,andcanrangeanywhere fromafewminutestotwoweeks. Emailremindersaresenttouncooperativepanelmembers.Ifemaildoesnot generatearesponse,aphonereminderisinitiated.Theusualprotocolistowaitat leastthreedaysandtopermitaweekendtopassbeforecalling.Knowledge Networksalsooperatesanongoingincentiveprogramtoencourageparticipation andcreatememberloyalty.Toassistpanelmemberswiththeirsurveytaking,each individualhasapersonalizedhomepagethatlistsallthesurveysthatwere assignedtothatmemberandhaveyettobecompleted.
SurveySamplingfromPanel Oncepanelmembersarerecruitedandprofiled,theybecomeeligiblefor selectionforspecificsurveys.Inmostcases,thespecificsurveysamplerepresentsa simplerandomsamplefromthepanel.Thesampleisdrawnfromeligiblemembers usinganimplicitlystratifiedsystematicsampledesign.Customizedstratified randomsamplingbasedonprofiledataisalsoconducted,asrequiredbyspecific studies. Theprimarysamplingruleisnottoassignmorethanonesurveyperweekto members.Incertaincases,asurveysamplecallsforprescreening,thatis,members aredrawnfromasubsampleofthepanel(e.g.,females,Republicans).Insuchcases, careistakentoensurethatallsubsequentsurveysampledrawnthatweekare selectedinsuchawayastoresultinasamplethatisrepresentativeofthepanel distributions.Furthermore,PanelMembersarenotassignedsurveysonthesame topicinagiventhreemonthperiod. DesignEffectsforAARPDivorcesSurvey
Forestimatescomputedusingthefullsample,thedesigneffectis2.12.The designeffectshouldbeusedtoadjustcalculatedsamplingerrorsfromthestudyto reflectthedeviationofthesampledesignfromasimplerandomsampledesign. ThedesigneffectfortheAARPDivorceSurveywascomputedasfollows:
deff=(3501*(7411))/(3501)2 deff=2.12 Anexampleofhowtousethedesigneffecttoadjustestimatesofsampling varianceisasfollows.Theexampledescribestheapproachforcalculatingsampling errorforestimatedproportions.Theapproachappliesdirectlytocalculationof samplingerrorforotherestimatessuchastotals,means,regressionestimators,etc.
Assumeyouarecalculatinganestimateofsamplingerrorfromyourstudyfor estimatep.Theformulaforcalculatingthestandarderrorforanestimated proportionfromasimplerandomsampleis: s.e.(p)srs=sqrt(p*(1p)/n)wherenisthesamplesize. ForastudysuchastheAARPDivorceSurveythatdeviatesfromasimple randomsampledesign(i.e.,isconsideredcomplex),youincludethedesigneffectin thecalculationofsamplingerrorasfollows: s.e.(p)complex=sqrt(Deff*p*(1p)/n) wherenisthesamplesize,andDeffisthedesigneffect. A90%confidenceintervaliscalculatedas p1.645*s.e.(p)complex. A95%confidenceintervaliscalculatedas p1.964*s.e.(p)complex. EXAMPLE: Ifp=50%istheproportionofpeoplewhostatedtheyarepresently datingintheAARPDivorceSurveysample,aconfidenceintervalcanbecomputed usingthedesigneffectof2.12andsampleNof3501. s.e.(.50)complex=sqrt(2.12*(.5)*(1(.5))/3501)=.0123or1.23% anda95%confidenceintervalforp=50%is 50%1.964*(1.23%)or50%2.41%. Thesameapproachshouldbeusedforcalculatingthesamplingerrorforall otherestimatesormodelparametersfromthesurveydata.Simplymultiplythe simplerandomsamplevarianceestimatebytheDeff.
ResponseRateandQualification/IncidenceRate Readersandresearchersaregenerallymorefamiliarwiththeideaofresponse ratesfromrandomdigitdial(RDD)surveys.Whenusingpanelsforsurveyresearch, thereareseveralstageswherepotentialbiascanbeentered.First,peopleagreeto becomepanelmembers.Thisisgenerallyreferredtoasthepanelacceptancerate. Thepanelacceptancerateisestimatedtobe36%,calculatedbystandardsestablished bytheAmericanAssociationforPublicOpinionResearch.Second,panelmembers canattritefromthepanelovertime.Oftherecruitedsample,31%oftherecruited panelisestimatedtohavebeenactiveandavailableforselectionatthetimeof selectingthesampleforthisstudy.1 Finally,thereisthewithinsurveycompletionrateorpercentageofpanel memberswhocompletedthequestionnaireamongallofthosewhoweresentthe questionnaire.Atotalof11,495emailinvitationsweresenttopanelmembersaged 4079.Ofthatgroup,8,070people(70%)respondedtotheinvitation.Ofthosethat responded,1,147(14%)qualifiedforthesurveybecausetheyhadexperienced divorceatage40orbeyond. Weighting for Non-Response Bias Weightingisgenerallyusedinsurveyanalysistocompensateforpatternsof nonresponsethatmightbiasresults.FortheAARPDivorceSurvey,theentirebase ofrespondents(regardlessofdivorceexperience)wasweightedtomatchnational parametersforgender,age,education,race/ethnicity,andregion(U.S.Census definitions).TheseparameterscamefromaspecialanalysisoftheDecember2002 CurrentPopulationSurvey(CPS).
The panel recruitment and retention rates listed above reflect the state of the KN panel as of March, 2002.
STATISTICALTABLES

The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 D-1
Table1.MajorLifeEvents
Total UnWgted wgted Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced event Didn't experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 Q11: Major Life Events Experienced Lost your job 45% 50% 40% 51% 48% 37% 47% 49% 42% 46% 39% 40% 55% 43% 46% 39% 39% 46% 36% 52% 53% Suffered from a Death of a None of major illness spouse these 30% 29% 31% 30% 29% 33% 26% 41% 24% 20% 27% 33% 27% 28% 29% 40% 14% 20% 34% 54% 85% 8% 6% 10% 8% 4% 12% 6% 15% 4% 6% 3% 10% 8% 6% 7% 11% 5% 6% 14% 8% 24% 37% 36% 39% 35% 37% 40% 37% 27% 44% 39% 45% 38% 32% 42% 38% 28% 46% 43% 39% 21%
Major Illness / Death of Spouse
752
742
40%
58%
* Significant differences are in bold.
Total UnLost Wgted wgted your job Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 40-49 Men 50-59 Men 60+ Age by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 40-49 Men 50+ Age at Divorce by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 45% 43% 50% 42% 38% 44% 57% 45% 42% 42% 37% 47% 47% 40% 34% 53% 42% 43% 33%
Q11: Major Life Events Experienced Suffered from a major illness 30% 20% 33% 30% 36% 12% 29% 36% 26% 37% 28% 27% 30% 33% 35% 29% 30% 28% 38% 10% 16% 5% 9% 12% 14% 6% 7% 7% 19% Death of a spouse 8% 1% 7% 9% 20% 3% 5% 9% None of these 37% 47% 31% 39% 35% 50% 29% 36% 46% 34% 39% 39% 35% 37% 37% 34% 41% 41% 33%
Total UnWgted wgted Total Total Excellent Self-Assessment Very Good of Health Good Fair/Poor Stress Level High Low Has suffered depression Has not suffered depression 9 or 10 Ladder of Life Current 7 or 8 1 thru 6 9 or 10 Ladder of Life - in 7 or 8 5 Years 1 thru 6 3x/week or more Exercise Frequency 2x/week or less Never Protestant Religion Catholic Baptist None 1147 142 370 354 155 549 472 270 713 340 480 325 608 342 180 391 442 187 270 170 145 89 1147 114 338 358 204 545 472 277 702 364 452 330 622 318 187 365 424 227 252 161 186 94
Q11: Major Life Events Experienced Lost your job 45% 32% 43% 44% 50% 49% 37% 54% 40% 32% 48% 54% 39% 49% 57% 40% 43% 48% 46% 45% 40% 46% Suffered from a major illness 30% 10% 16% 28% 64% 34% 23% 43% 24% 29% 28% 34% 27% 28% 44% 28% 29% 31% 28% 28% 34% 21% Death of a spouse 8% 5% 6% 11% 10% 10% 7% 11% 7% 12% 8% 5% 9% 8% 9% 7% 10% 7% 11% 6% 10% 3% None of these 37% 56% 48% 37% 17% 32% 47% 29% 42% 44% 35% 32% 40% 39% 25% 41% 39% 36% 36% 37% 34% 49%
Depression
* Significant differences are in bold.
Table2.DivorceandLossofJob
Total UnWgted wgted Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced event Didn't experience event 539 299 240 163 136 162 78 182 183 95 79 166 224 149 455 42 30 312 113 104 242 512 274 238 150 124 152 86 200 172 86 54 221 178 113 417 57 26 283 104 117 216 Q12a: Comparing your last divorce to the loss of a job, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Job loss was more difficult 28% 30% 26% 23% 37% 24% 29% 26% 25% 33% 32% 33% 22% 27% 24% 58% 27% 29% 24% 27% 24% About the same 24% 22% 26% 28% 15% 26% 25% 24% 27% 21% 15% 25% 27% 16% 24% 19% 26% 22% 31% 23% 26% Divorce was more difficult 47% 48% 47% 48% 48% 49% 44% 48% 47% 45% 50% 41% 50% 55% 51% 23% 47% 48% 42% 49% 48%
Major Illness / Death of Spouse
297
297
31%
22%
47%
*Significantdifferencesareinbold.
Total UnWgted wgted Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Men 60+ Age by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Men 50+ Age at Divorce Women by Gender 40-49 Women 50+ 539 89 227 158 65 46 139 114 43 88 109 237 169 77 56 221 78 185 55 512 97 216 139 60 42 128 104 55 88 96 232 164 69 47 209 65 188 50
Q12a: Comparing your last divorce to the loss of a job, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Job loss was more difficult 28% 29% 27% 31% 23% 22% 26% 37% 35% 28% 18% 26% 29% 30% 28% 26% 40% 29% 14% About the same 24% 20% 22% 28% 28% 26% 22% 21% 15% 22% 36% 23% 22% 33% 20% 23% 19% 22% 39% Divorce was more difficult 47% 50% 52% 40% 46% 52% 53% 40% 48% 50% 44% 49% 49% 36% 50% 51% 38% 47% 47%
Table3.DivorceandMajorIllness
Total Q12b: Comparing your last divorce to a major illness, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? About the same 28% 19% 35% 17% 22% 36% 32% 29% 31% 6% 35% 31% 27% 21% 30% 17% 31% 28% 19% 34% 28% Divorce was more difficult 30% 31% 30% 29% 33% 29% 33% 21% 30% 60% 41% 23% 37% 41% 32% 20% 30% 41% 28% 22% 30%
UnMajor illness was Wgted wgted more difficult Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Major Illness / Death of Spouse Experienced event 338 171 167 93 78 124 43 145 102 43 48 119 127 92 286 34 11 145 94 97 338 343 161 182 86 75 135 47 169 100 38 37 182 87 74 265 58 10 121 100 122 343 41% 48% 35% 50% 46% 35% 34% 48% 38% 32% 24% 46% 34% 36% 36% 62% 39% 30% 52% 43% 41%
Total UnWgted wgted Total Total 40-49 50-59 Age Category 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Men 60+ Age by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 45-49 Age at Divorce 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Men 50+ Age at Divorce Women by Gender 40-49 Women 50+ 338 41 132 114 51 13 67 91 28 65 74 133 102 56 47 114 57 121 46 343 44 142 100 57 11 66 84 33 76 73 133 105 57 49 115 46 124 59
Q12b: Comparing your last divorce to a major illness, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? Major illness was more difficult 41% 43% 37% 43% 47% 35% 41% 56% 46% 33% 31% 41% 43% 45% 33% 51% 42% 34% 37% About the same 28% 36% 25% 28% 28% 32% 16% 20% 37% 32% 37% 27% 25% 25% 37% 19% 20% 33% 39% Divorce was more difficult 30% 19% 38% 28% 24% 27% 42% 23% 17% 34% 31% 31% 31% 29% 29% 29% 36% 33% 24%
Total
Q12b: Comparing your last divorce to a major illness, which was more difficult for you to handle emotionally? About the same 28% 30% 25% 17% 29% 30% 35% 20% 26% 34% 33% 27% 21% 40% 20% 34% 20% 22% 33% 34% 24% 30% Divorce was more difficult 30% 27% 34% 27% 29% 32% 27% 32% 33% 29% 28% 47% 27% 13% 40% 27% 24% 38% 34% 27% 33% 29%
UnMajor illness was Wgted wgted more difficult Total # of Times Divorced Total Once More than once Less than 5 years Time Since Divorce 5 to 9 years 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Reason for Divorce Cheating Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Less than 1 year Time Spent Thinking about Divorce 1 to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Had Children at Time of Divorce Age 11 or younger Age 12-17 Age 18 or older Parents' Marital Status Divorced Stayed married 338 160 177 58 58 220 132 102 98 60 65 71 99 55 51 60 86 80 103 126 96 239 343 169 174 60 59 223 128 101 101 68 74 72 113 55 39 63 75 84 91 140 102 237 41% 42% 40% 54% 42% 38% 37% 48% 41% 37% 38% 23% 52% 47% 40% 39% 56% 39% 31% 39% 41% 41%
Table4.BiggestFearsafterDivorce
Total Q23: What were your biggest fears after the divorce? Never finding someone 24% 24% 24% Kids not forgiving 9% 10% 8% Not see kids 14% 27% 3%
UnBeing Wgted Finances wgted alone Total Total Male Gender Female Unmarried Men Marital Status Married Men Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Major Illness / Death of Spouse Experienced event Didn't experience 566 594 44% 47% 1147 581 1147 553 28% 11% 45% 42%
310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 752
292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 742
14% 9% 46% 41% 35% 26% 25% 19% 28% 29% 28% 31% 20% 22% 31% 24% 27% 30% 27%
44% 40% 51% 39% 49% 44% 42% 35% 52% 37% 37% 44% 48% 49% 42% 44% 52% 48% 43%
24% 24% 24% 22% 22% 26% 26% 21% 24% 23% 24% 26% 15% 21% 25% 22% 24% 20% 26%
6% 14% 4% 16% 5% 9% 10% 17% 10% 8% 9% 8% 12% 10% 9% 12% 3% 9% 9%
28% 25% 2% 4% 13% 11% 17% 25% 13% 15% 15% 13% 13% 21% 16% 12% 13% 13% 15%
Total
Q23: What were your biggest fears after the divorce? (cont.)
Family Kids would Stay UnFailing not Stay No Wgted not angry/ wgted again have 2 depressed Answer accept bitter parents me Total Gender Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced Major Illness / event Death of Didn't Spouse experience event 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 4% 0% 2% 0% 1% 2% 3% 1% 1% 2% 1% 1% 1% 1% 2% 2% 2% 1% 34% 24% 32% 32% 38% 30% 32% 35% 26% 32% 32% 27% 31% 26% 41% 29% 31% 36% 30% 4% 5% 5% 4% 3% 5% 4% 3% 4% 4% 4% 6% 3% 5% 15% 4% 3% 7% 4% 11% 26% 14% 13% 8% 17% 15% 16% 17% 14% 17% 19% 16% 15% 16% 15% 17% 17% 18% 18% 22% 20% 19% 16% 20% 21% 19% 15% 19% 24% 16% 18% 26% 20% 18% 23% 20% 23% 8% 10% 7% 7% 9% 7% 9% 7% 12% 6% 9% 12% 7% 15% 5% 8% 10% 6% 8% Total Male 1147 581 1147 553 1% 2% 31% 28% 4% 5% 16% 21% 20% 21% 8% 9%
752
742
1%
31%
4%
15%
18%
8%
Total
Q23: What were your biggest fears after the divorce? Being alone 45% 43% 44% 46% 47% 44% 41% 43% 42% 47% 50% 44% 42% 46% 53% 42% 42% 44% 56% Never finding someone 24% 25% 24% 24% 21% 20% 28% 22% 28% 20% 24% 21% 26% 24% 26% 21% 32% 26% 18% Kids not forgiving 9% 7% 8% 8% 17% 9% 7% 13% 5% 9% 9% 12% 9% 3% 3% 12% 4% 10% 2% Not see my kids 14% 14% 16% 13% 12% 31% 28% 23% 1% 4% 3% 17% 14% 8% 13% 29% 20% 4%
UnWgted Finances wgted Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Men 60+ Age by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 45-49 Age at Divorce 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Men 50+ Age at Divorce Women by Gender 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 28% 36% 28% 24% 28% 17% 11% 9% 50% 46% 40% 26% 32% 28% 27% 12% 10% 44% 46%
Total
Q23: What were your biggest fears after the divorce? (cont.) Kids not have 2 parents 4% 6% 5% 3% 2% 7% 5% 3% 6% 4% 2% 6% 3% 1% 4% 5% 4% 5% 1% Stay depressed 16% 14% 21% 11% 12% 22% 28% 13% 9% 14% 10% 13% 20% 15% 18% 21% 19% 10% 14% Stay angry/ bitter 20% 18% 20% 21% 17% 22% 21% 21% 16% 19% 18% 21% 20% 19% 15% 22% 19% 19% 15% No Answer 8% 6% 8% 8% 11% 7% 8% 10% 6% 8% 9% 9% 6% 9% 10% 8% 11% 8% 7%
Family UnFailing Wgted would not wgted again accept me Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 0% 2% 1% 2% 1% 0% 2% 1% 1% 0% 1% 3% 1% 2% 3% 1% 31% 35% 31% 30% 28% 22% 28% 31% 45% 34% 28% 38% 25% 29% 23% 29% 27% 36% 26%
Table5.WhatsBestAfterDivorce
Total Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce Not House Do having Own the Unthings to deal Wgted Freedom selfway I Finances Dating wgted for with identity want myself another it person Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced Major Illness / event Death of Didn't Spouse experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 41% 39% 43% 45% 31% 44% 42% 45% 39% 39% 38% 38% 46% 41% 42% 36% 35% 42% 46% 32% 43% 35% 31% 38% 34% 28% 40% 36% 38% 36% 29% 31% 35% 36% 34% 36% 27% 36% 31% 40% 40% 38% 36% 21% 49% 18% 25% 49% 49% 40% 35% 28% 35% 35% 34% 38% 37% 25% 35% 35% 37% 35% 35% 15% 14% 17% 22% 5% 20% 11% 18% 14% 16% 11% 17% 15% 13% 13% 31% 18% 16% 11% 22% 16% 22% 27% 18% 25% 28% 16% 23% 19% 21% 29% 26% 22% 24% 20% 24% 14% 24% 23% 20% 21% 21% 31% 25% 37% 33% 16% 41% 28% 33% 33% 27% 25% 30% 34% 31% 33% 26% 12% 34% 28% 31% 31% 4% 7% 2% 6% 7% 3% 0% 5% 4% 4% 4% 6% 3% 3% 4% 7% 1% 4% 4% 4% 5%
752
742
40%
33%
36%
15%
23%
31%
4%
*Significantdifferencesareinbold. The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 D-14
Total UnBetter Wgted wgted mate Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Major Illness / Death of Spouse Experienced event Didn't experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 18% 26% 11% 10% 43% 3% 28% 9% 19% 25% 32% 18% 18% 17% 19%
Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce (cont.) No My Not No step More No in- appearance/ responsible children sex Answer laws hygiene for another 6% 8% 4% 8% 8% 5% 2% 8% 6% 3% 2% 7% 5% 4% 5% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 4% 6% 2% 6% 6% 2% 2% 3% 3% 6% 5% 5% 3% 3% 4% 2% 2% 0% 0% 4% 4% 3% 0% 4% 7% 11% 2% 9% 13% 1% 4% 6% 5% 9% 9% 7% 5% 7% 7% 6% 7% 5% 8% 7% 6% 14% 10% 17% 11% 9% 18% 15% 13% 14% 18% 8% 13% 11% 18% 14% 14% 12% 15% 11% 15% 16% 5% 7% 3% 7% 7% 2% 5% 4% 5% 6% 6% 4% 4% 7% 5% 6% 6% 5% 7% 2% 3%
12% 12% 24% 19% 19% 3% 4% 4%
14% 12% 16% 6%
752
742
19%
6%
0%
3%
7%
12%
6%
Total
Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce
Not House Do having Own the Unthings to deal Wgted Freedom selfway I Finances Dating wgted for with identity want myself another it person Total Total 40-49 50-59 Age Category 60-69 70-79 Men 40-49 Men 50-59 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 40-49 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 41% 42% 41% 39% 43% 36% 38% 40% 47% 44% 40% 40% 39% 44% 45% 38% 40% 41% 49% 35% 30% 31% 41% 39% 35% 26% 35% 27% 38% 45% 33% 35% 37% 39% 31% 31% 36% 45% 36% 35% 30% 41% 39% 22% 22% 20% 45% 39% 59% 37% 35% 37% 31% 19% 26% 51% 43% 15% 17% 17% 17% 8% 18% 10% 15% 15% 24% 12% 14% 14% 16% 22% 14% 13% 15% 24% 22% 27% 20% 23% 19% 37% 23% 26% 19% 16% 18% 23% 21% 27% 17% 26% 28% 18% 16% 31% 27% 36% 31% 25% 19% 32% 21% 33% 40% 37% 32% 29% 37% 27% 25% 25% 36% 40% 4% 5% 4% 3% 4% 7% 7% 6% 4% 2% 1% 4% 7% 1% 3% 8% 4% 3% 0%
Total UnBetter Wgted wgted mate Total Total 40-49 50-59 Age Category 60-69 70-79 Men 40-49 Men 50-59 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 40-49 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 18% 22% 16% 16% 22% 23% 21%
Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce (cont.) No My Not No step More No in- appearance/ responsible children sex Answer laws hygiene for another 6% 4% 6% 7% 7% 5% 6% 1% 0% 0% 4% 2% 3% 5% 6% 3% 5% 8% 2% 0% 0% 0% 0% 2% 2% 3% 5% 5% 3% 6% 7% 0% 2% 1% 7% 5% 6% 8% 6% 10% 8% 14% 2% 3% 1% 5% 10% 3% 7% 13% 8% 2% 2% 14% 13% 16% 13% 12% 12% 13% 7% 14% 19% 17% 11% 16% 16% 14% 11% 8% 15% 22% 5% 5% 6% 3% 5% 10% 9% 5% 2% 3% 3% 6% 5% 3% 5% 7% 7% 3% 1%
30% 11% 20% 10% 7% 21% 18% 13% 12% 27% 21% 13% 4% 3% 7% 2% 6% 6% 6% 5% 9% 5% 3% 5%
Total
Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce
Not House Do having Own the Un- Wgtthings to deal Freedom selfway I Finances Dating wgted ed for with identity want myself another it person Total Total 1147 1147 142 370 354 155 549 472 270 114 338 358 204 545 472 277 41% 49% 43% 41% 37% 42% 41% 41% 35% 31% 32% 37% 35% 36% 33% 34% 36% 38% 35% 38% 30% 38% 33% 42% 15% 18% 13% 15% 20% 17% 15% 19% 22% 14% 23% 26% 18% 20% 24% 19% 31% 33% 36% 29% 27% 33% 29% 36% 4% 2% 4% 4% 3% 3% 5% 3%
Excellent SelfVery Good Assessment Good of Health Fair/Poor Stress Level High Low Has suffered depression Has not suffered depression Ladder of Life Current Ladder of Life - in 5 Years 9 or 10 7 or 8 1 thru 6 9 or 10 7 or 8 1 thru 6 3x/week or more Exercise Frequency 2x/week or less Never Protestant Religion Catholic Baptist None
Depression
713 340 480 325 608 342 180 391 442 187 270 170 145 89
702 364 452 330 622 318 187 365 424 227 252 161 186 94
42% 35% 45% 42% 39% 44% 42% 46% 39% 40% 45% 43% 34% 52%
34% 33% 33% 40% 34% 36% 38% 36% 35% 30% 31% 45% 38% 20%
33% 37% 35% 35% 36% 33% 39% 33% 39% 33% 36% 41% 30% 33%
15% 12% 14% 21% 15% 16% 16% 17% 16% 15% 14% 16% 22% 15%
23% 22% 25% 18% 25% 21% 15% 20% 23% 22% 22% 25% 28% 17%
29% 24% 35% 35% 28% 34% 38% 37% 26% 32% 36% 34% 25% 42%
4% 4% 5% 4% 4% 5% 2% 3% 3% 7% 5% 2% 8% 3%
Total Un- Wgt- Better wgted ed mate Total Total 1147 1147 142 370 354 155 549 472 270 114 338 358 204 545 472 277 18% 13% 19% 19%
Q9: Things Liked Best After Divorce (cont.) No My Not No step More No in- appearance/ responsible children sex Answer laws hygiene for another 6% 2% 5% 4% 0% 0% 4% 4% 3% 5% 7% 6% 6% 6% 14% 12% 12% 14% 15% 14% 12% 14% 5% 6% 6% 5% 5% 4% 6% 4%
16% 13% 18% 17% 12% 8% 4% 8% 0% 0% 0%
2% 11% 2% 6% 2% 7% 6% 7%
Depression
713 340 480 325 608 342 180 391 442 187 270 170 145 89
702 364 452 330 622 318 187 365 424 227 252 161 186 94
20% 24% 20% 9% 23%
5% 6% 6% 6% 5%
0% 0%
4% 4% 5%
7% 6% 5% 8% 5% 7% 9% 6% 6%
14% 10% 17% 14% 13% 14% 18% 15% 15% 8% 12% 8% 13% 18%
6% 7% 2% 6% 5% 3% 7% 6% 4% 6% 6% 2% 7% 2%
0%
2% 4%
14% 10% 7% 16% 17% 22% 22% 18% 10% 22% 3% 4% 7% 7% 6% 6% 7% 5%
0%
5% 3%
0% 0%
3% 4%
6% 10% 0% 5% 5% 3% 2% 7% 7% 8% 8%
Table6.WhatsLikedLeastAboutDivorce
Total UnWgted wgted Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced Major Illness / event Death of Didn't Spouse experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce Nobody Someone Raising Feeling Someone to take to do STDs kids by selfto talk to care of things self conscious me 34% 38% 31% 37% 39% 33% 26% 31% 35% 38% 37% 33% 35% 36% 35% 28% 47% 35% 38% 26% 35% 21% 24% 18% 25% 23% 20% 12% 24% 20% 22% 12% 24% 19% 15% 20% 23% 19% 19% 18% 30% 21% 9% 10% 9% 10% 10% 9% 9% 12% 7% 9% 7% 12% 8% 4% 8% 14% 8% 11% 7% 7% 8% 9% 5% 12% 4% 6% 10% 16% 9% 8% 8% 9% 8% 9% 9% 9% 11% 8% 8% 8% 12% 10% 15% 13% 17% 13% 13% 18% 13% 14% 17% 15% 14% 14% 14% 19% 15% 19% 10% 11% 24% 14% 17% 10% 10% 10% 12% 7% 11% 6% 13% 7% 10% 7% 10% 10% 9% 10% 8% 17% 8% 12% 10% 10%
752
742
34%
21%
10%
8%
14%
9%
Total
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce (cont.)
Fear Unof No No Unhealthy No Wgted Finances wgted crime/ affection sex behaviors Answer alone Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Major Illness / Death of Spouse Experienced event Didn't experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 5% 1% 10% 1% 1% 10% 9% 8% 3% 4% 6% 8% 3% 26% 14% 37% 13% 14% 35% 41% 27% 26% 23% 22% 24% 28% 17% 11% 20% 16% 15% 7% 9% 12% 6% 12% 13% 3% 13% 9% 10% 7% 10% 9% 11% 8% 9% 7% 7% 13% 5% 12% 7% 7% 9% 14% 8% 7%
21% 21% 18% 10% 18% 7% 9% 1%
15% 10% 20% 13% 16% 11% 16% 8%
16% 11% 17% 10%
334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395
261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405
4% 6% 4% 6% 5% 5% 9% 6%
27% 27% 18% 19% 30% 18% 24% 26%
21% 12% 17% 12% 17% 23% 6% 6%
6% 10% 5% 14% 8% 8% 13% 8%
10% 8% 14% 2% 8% 11% 6% 8%
18% 11% 14% 10% 19% 12% 19% 10%
752
742
5%
25%
16% 12%
9%
8%
Total UnWgted wgted Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Men Age at 50+ Divorce by Gender Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 Not w/ Someone to do things 34% 28% 35% 38% 32% 33% 36% 42% 25% 34%
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce Raising Someone STDs kids by to talk to self 21% 16% 22% 24% 16% 22% 26% 23% 12% 18% 9% 15% 9% 8% 5% 13% 10% 8% 17% 6% 9% 9% 9% 7% 10% 9% 5% 3% 9% 14% Feeling selfconscious 15% 9% 12% 18% 25% 9% 8% 20% 9% 17% Nobody to take care of me 10% 8% 9% 10% 12% 6% 9% 11% 9% 10%
247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149
256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155
31% 32% 28% 42% 47% 34% 47% 27% 41%
20% 18% 20% 25% 26% 23% 28% 16% 22%
6% 10% 12% 6% 4% 12% 5% 10% 5%
12% 12% 7% 4% 5% 5% 4% 15% 5%
21% 14% 15% 19% 16% 13% 14% 15% 21%
10% 9% 9% 8% 12% 10% 9% 9% 10%
Total UnWgted wgted Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce (cont.) Fear of No crime/ Finances affection alone 5% 4% 4% 7% 6% 3% 1% 0% 5% 9% 13% 5% 5% 6% 6% 1% 1% 9% 11% 26% 35% 27% 20% 21% 24% 13% 11% 43% 43% 29% 26% 30% 26% 14% 15% 9% 38% 32% No sex Unhealthy behaviors 9% 10% 9% 11% 6% 7% 13% 14% 12% 4% 4% 10% 10% 6% 8% 13% 11% 7% 3% No Answer 8% 7% 8% 7% 14% 12% 10% 8% 4% 5% 10% 9% 7% 7% 10% 9% 11% 8% 6%
17% 11% 18% 11% 20% 11% 14% 12% 15% 9%
17% 17% 22% 17% 18% 13% 18% 17% 11% 6% 4% 9%
15% 10% 21% 10% 21% 10% 11% 17% 22% 15% 13% 18% 13% 20% 6% 8%
Total Un- Wgtwgted ed Total Total Excellent SelfAssessment of Health Very Good Good Fair/Poor Stress Level High Low Has suffered depression Depression Has not suffered depression 1147 1147 142 370 354 155 549 472 270 114 338 358 204 545 472 277
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce (cont.) Fear of No No crime/ Finances affection sex alone 5% 3% 6% 6% 6% 5% 6% 6% 26% 24% 23% 26% 23% 27% 21% 30% 17% 11% 18% 7% Unhealthy behaviors 9% 6% 8% 11% 10% 10% 8% 9% No Answer 8% 13% 7% 8% 7% 7% 10% 4%
19% 13% 14% 11% 19% 7%
17% 11% 17% 10% 22% 12%
713 340 480 325 608 342 180 391 442 187 270 170 145 89
702 364 452 330 622 318 187 365 424 227 252 161 186 94
6% 5% 5% 7% 6% 3% 7% 6% 6% 4% 5% 10% 6% 5%
21% 23% 23% 33% 25% 26% 28% 24% 26% 22% 23% 27% 19% 35%
16% 10% 17% 8%
9% 8% 9% 11% 9% 10% 10% 6% 11% 11% 8% 8% 9% 17%
10% 14% 5% 5% 10% 5% 6% 10% 8% 6% 9% 9% 12% 6%
9 or 10 Ladder of Life 7 or 8 - Current 1 thru 6 9 or 10 Ladder of Life 7 or 8 - in 5 Years 1 thru 6 3x/week or more Exercise Frequency 2x/week or less Never Protestant Religion Catholic Baptist None
17% 13% 19% 12% 15% 9%
23% 16% 14% 7%
18% 13% 17% 7%
17% 13% 17% 15% 17% 16% 7% 4%
14% 18%
Total Un- Wgtwgted ed Total Total 1147 1147 517 626 168 205 758 377 334 309 214 274 234 345 186 185 175 283 286 347 411 308 819 536 609 186 216 728 388 336 303 241 277 229 363 184 171 183 268 298 325 415 343 786
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce Someone Raising Feeling Someone to do STDs kids by selfto talk to things self conscious 34% 37% 32% 26% 33% 37% 30% 36% 37% 35% 31% 38% 34% 33% 32% 36% 34% 28% 32% 40% 30% 36% 21% 24% 18% 30% 20% 18% 17% 17% 21% 22% 23% 21% 29% 21% 12% 14% 21% 19% 20% 21% 22% 20% 9% 12% 7% 16% 8% 8% 9% 8% 12% 11% 11% 8% 11% 5% 14% 8% 10% 8% 8% 10% 8% 9% 9% 7% 10% 4% 9% 10% 11% 6% 15% 11% 8% 8% 7% 11% 7% 14% 0% 18% 15% 5% 9% 9% 15% 13% 17% 13% 10% 17% 17% 19% 17% 15% 13% 15% 13% 13% 14% 22% 13% 12% 17% 20% 15% 15% Nobody to take care of me 10% 8% 11% 10% 11% 9% 8% 8% 10% 10% 11% 10% 8% 13% 12% 5% 13% 10% 8% 8% 12% 9%
Once # of Times Divorced More than once Time Since Divorce Less than 5 years 5 to 9 years 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Cheating Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Time Spent Thinking about Divorce Less than 1 year 1 to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Age 11 or Had younger Children at Time of Age 12-17 Divorce Age 18 or older Parents' Marital Status Divorced Stayed married
Reason for Divorce
Total Un- Wgtwgted ed Total # of Times Divorced Total Once More than once Less than 5 years Time Since Divorce 5 to 9 years 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Reason for Divorce Cheating Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Time Spent Thinking about Divorce Less than 1 year 1 to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Had Children at Time of Divorce Age 11 or younger Age 12-17 Age 18 or older Parents' Marital Status Divorced Stayed married 1147 1147 517 626 168 205 758 377 334 309 214 274 234 345 186 185 175 283 286 347 411 308 819 536 609 186 216 728 388 336 303 241 277 229 363 184 171 183 268 298 325 415 343 786
Q10: Things Liked Least After Divorce (cont.) Fear of No No crime/ Finances affection sex alone 5% 7% 4% 7% 2% 6% 8% 4% 3% 9% 4% 5% 4% 9% 7% 4% 4% 1% 8% 7% 4% 6% 26% 22% 29% 15% 22% 30% 34% 29% 27% 27% 22% 25% 17% 21% 39% 40% 20% 31% 33% 28% 22% 28% 17% 11% 18% 14% 17% 8% Unhealthy behaviors 9% 9% 9% 8% 10% 9% 8% 7% 10% 8% 12% 15% 5% 11% 9% 9% 11% 9% 10% 6% 10% 9% No Answer 8% 7% 9% 9% 9% 7% 7% 7% 5% 4% 6% 5% 9% 10% 5% 6% 9% 7% 7% 7% 8% 7%
16% 17% 28% 12% 14% 9%
15% 10% 18% 11% 18% 5%
17% 12% 18% 10% 20% 12% 19% 14% 22% 14% 8% 9% 9% 7%
21% 17% 17% 10% 12% 16% 6% 9%
18% 11% 17% 11%
Table7.DatingAfterDivorce
Total Q15: How long after your divorce did you start dating again? 2 Have years 5 not to years dated less or since than longer the 5 divorce years 12% 10% 14% 13% 7% 15% 11% 15% 11% 9% 10% 13% 10% 13% 12% 10% 10% 11% 15% 11% 14% 5% 3% 7% 3% 2% 7% 8% 6% 6% 3% 4% 5% 5% 5% 4% 10% 3% 4% 5% 9% 6% 15% 11% 20% 18% 2% 28% 1% 18% 18% 9% 9% 13% 17% 19% 17% 8% 12% 15% 14% 20% 17%
1 Started Less 6 year before than 6 months to Unthe months Wgted to less less wgted divorce after than 1 than was the year 2 final divorce years Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced Major Illness / event Death of Didn't Spouse experience event 1147 581 566 310 271 397 169 346 401 219 181 392 421 334 956 100 66 657 304 170 395 1147 553 594 292 261 412 182 413 410 187 137 560 326 261 898 145 67 617 290 225 405 26% 32% 20% 26% 40% 16% 29% 23% 21% 32% 40% 26% 26% 25% 24% 38% 25% 28% 23% 24% 24% 13% 15% 12% 9% 21% 10% 16% 13% 14% 12% 15% 15% 12% 12% 15% 4% 18% 13% 11% 17% 14% 12% 13% 12% 14% 11% 11% 15% 10% 13% 19% 8% 12% 14% 10% 12% 14% 16% 12% 15% 8% 12% 14% 14% 14% 15% 14% 11% 20% 14% 15% 15% 12% 14% 16% 13% 14% 13% 12% 15% 15% 10% 12%
752
742
27%
13%
12%
15%
11%
4%
15%
Total
Q15: How long after your divorce did you start dating again? 6 1 year months to less to less than 2 than 1 years year 12% 12% 10% 16% 12% 10% 11% 16% 14% 10% 13% 15% 10% 9% 13% 13% 12% 13% 10% 14% 13% 14% 14% 17% 14% 15% 14% 11% 13% 16% 16% 12% 12% 17% 13% 17% 15% 11% 2 Have not 5 years dated years to less since or than 5 the longer years divorce 12% 9% 14% 12% 11% 6% 13% 8% 10% 15% 15% 11% 15% 13% 9% 11% 8% 14% 15% 5% 2% 6% 5% 5% 2% 3% 2% 3% 9% 7% 5% 4% 10% 2% 3% 2% 6% 10% 15% 14% 18% 16% 11% 17% 11% 8% 11% 25% 20% 8% 14% 27% 29% 8% 17% 13% 39%
Started Less before than 6 UnWgted the months wgted divorce after the was final divorce Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 1147 199 452 346 150 93 239 249 106 213 247 474 349 181 143 406 175 417 149 1147 225 434 331 157 94 226 232 131 208 256 490 346 173 138 396 156 440 155 26% 36% 24% 22% 27% 36% 28% 35% 35% 20% 13% 30% 28% 20% 15% 34% 28% 24% 8% 13% 13% 12% 15% 15% 12% 16% 15% 15% 7% 15% 14% 15% 8% 14% 15% 15% 14% 6%
Total
Q15: How long after your divorce did you start dating again?
Started 1 year 2 Have Less 6 before to years 5 not than 6 months Un- Wgtthe less to years dated months to less wgted ed divorce than less or since after the than 1 was 2 than 5 longer the divorce year final years years divorce Total Total 1147 1147 142 370 354 155 549 472 270 114 338 358 204 545 472 277 26% 25% 27% 24% 29% 25% 27% 26% 13% 12% 11% 13% 18% 14% 12% 14% 12% 11% 13% 13% 11% 12% 13% 10% 14% 19% 12% 17% 11% 13% 17% 12% 12% 8% 12% 13% 10% 12% 11% 11% 5% 6% 5% 5% 7% 6% 4% 9% 15% 16% 18% 14% 14% 16% 14% 19%
Depression
713 340 480 325 608 342 180 391 442 187 270 170 145 89
702 364 452 330 622 318 187 365 424 227 252 161 186 94
26% 25% 28% 25% 27% 26% 22% 23% 27% 28% 21% 29% 24% 38%
13% 15% 14% 11% 16% 11% 9% 12% 13% 16% 11% 14% 22% 11%
14% 14% 13% 10% 13% 13% 11% 12% 15% 9% 16% 9% 12% 10%
16% 12% 17% 12% 14% 14% 18% 18% 11% 16% 21% 15% 11% 11%
12% 10% 12% 15% 11% 12% 17% 13% 12% 8% 12% 14% 11% 13%
4% 6% 5% 4% 4% 6% 5% 3% 6% 8% 4% 4% 5% 4%
14% 16% 11% 22% 14% 17% 18% 17% 15% 13% 14% 14% 11% 12%
*Significantdifferencesareinbold

Total Q15: How long after your divorce did you start dating again? Started 1 year 2 Have Less 6 before to years 5 not than 6 months Un- Wgtyears the less to dated months to less wgted ed divorce than less or since after the than 1 was 2 than 5 longer the divorce year final years years divorce Total # of Times Divorced Total Once More than once Less than 5 years 5 to 9 years 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Cheating Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Time Spent Thinking about Divorce Less than 1 year 1 to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Had Children at Time of Divorce Age 11 or younger Age 12-17 Age 18 or older Divorced Stayed married 1147 1147 517 626 168 205 758 377 334 309 214 274 234 345 186 185 175 283 286 347 411 308 819 536 609 186 216 728 388 336 303 241 277 229 363 184 171 183 268 298 325 415 343 786 26% 24% 28% 24% 26% 27% 28% 23% 25% 22% 35% 17% 23% 34% 31% 32% 27% 30% 22% 28% 32% 24% 13% 16% 11% 17% 10% 13% 15% 15% 12% 16% 15% 10% 19% 7% 15% 12% 15% 11% 14% 15% 9% 15% 12% 14% 11% 14% 16% 11% 14% 16% 11% 12% 10% 10% 17% 12% 12% 9% 14% 13% 14% 9% 15% 11% 14% 14% 15% 14% 16% 14% 11% 13% 15% 14% 18% 21% 10% 18% 14% 11% 14% 13% 17% 12% 12% 15% 12% 13% 12% 10% 12% 13% 11% 13% 13% 12% 9% 13% 12% 10% 10% 16% 8% 14% 14% 12% 12% 12% 5% 5% 5% 6% 6% 4% 5% 6% 7% 4% 4% 4% 5% 4% 5% 8% 4% 6% 5% 4% 5% 5% 15% 14% 17% 15% 13% 17% 17% 13% 16% 19% 9% 25% 14% 14% 11% 13% 16% 13% 13% 20% 14% 16%
Time Since Divorce
Reason for Divorce
Parents' Marital Status
*Significantdifferencesareinbold. The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond, AARP, May 2004 D-30
Table8.ReasonsforDating
Total Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Find a new partner to live with 8% 11% 5% 7% 15% 5% 6% 7% 6% 12% 11% 7% 9% 11% 9% 4% 7% 8% 8% 9% 10% Find a Find a new new mother/ partner father for to marry children 11% 12% 9% 4% 20% 4% 16% 9% 10% 11% 17% 11% 10% 11% 12% 4% 20% 10% 11% 13% 6% 1% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0%
CompanionUnWgted ship, but no wgted sex Total Gender Total Male Female Unmarried Men Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Major Illness / Death of Spouse Experienced event Didn't experience event 945 502 443 244 258 279 164 270 325 189 161 335 345 265 777 90 55 533 258 138 325 953 481 472 232 249 292 179 334 330 166 123 479 267 207 733 130 57 514 246 178 334
Sex
15% 11% 12% 17% 17% 4%
16% 24% 9% 12% 20% 13% 4% 4%
16% 11% 15% 10% 13% 10% 14% 13% 14% 11% 13% 10% 20% 12% 14% 11% 16% 11% 17% 5%
15% 11% 16% 8%
14% 14% 18% 8%
620
619
13% 12%
8%
13%
0%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? (cont.) Prove to myself that I was getting on with my life 23% 19% 27% 17% 22% 0% 25% 31% 1% 1% 21% 28% 23% 19% 1% 0% 23% 28% 20% 1% 1% 21% 34% 35% 1% 1% 25% 24% 18% 0% 22% Prove Appease to exfriends/ spouse family that I who was coaxed getting me into on with dating my life 3% 3% 3% 2% 3% 3% 3% 4% 2% 2% 1% 4% 2% 1% 3% 3% 6% 2% 2% 6% 4% 2% 5% 2% 4% 3% 2% 3% 4% 1% 4% 3% 4% 2% 3% 3% 2% 3% 4% 3% 2%
Prove to Lift my myself Unspirits/ Wgted that I wgted ease was still depression attractive
Prove to exspouse I was still attractive
Total Gender
Total Male Female Unmarried Men
945 502 443 244 258 279 164 270 325 189 161 335 345 265 777 90 55 533 258 138 325
953 481 472 232 249 292 179 334 330 166 123 479 267 207 733 130 57 514 246 178 334
18% 16% 20% 19% 12% 24% 13% 19% 15% 21% 17% 18% 18% 15% 18% 20% 4% 18% 17% 15% 22%
4% 2% 7% 0% 3% 7% 7% 5% 6% 2% 2% 6% 3% 3% 5% 2% 5% 4% 6% 3% 4%
1% 1% 0% 2%
Married Men Marital Status Unmarried Women Married Women Under 25K Income 25-50K 50-75K 75K+ HS or less Education Some college Bachelors or more White Race/Ethnicity African Amer. Hispanic Employed Employment Retired Unemployed Experienced Major Illness / event Death of Didn't Spouse experience event
620
619
15%
5%
1%
25%
2%
3%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Find a new partner to live with 8% 6% 9% 8% 9% 9% 10% 13% 3% 9% 4% 7% 8% 9% 13% 9% 17% 6% 3% Find a new partner to marry 11% 10% 10% 11% 13% 16% 11% 12% 7% 8% 11% 14% 7% 9% 7% 13% 10% 9% 6% 1% 0% 0% 1% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% Find a new mother/ father for children 0%
CompanionUnWgted ship, but no Sex wgted sex Total Total 40-49 Age Category 50-59 60-69 70-79 Men 4049 Men 5059 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 4049 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+ 945 165 364 288 128 74 203 225 91 161 191 424 291 130 100 358 144 357 86 953 190 350 277 136 75 196 210 115 154 203 440 291 125 97 353 128 378 94 15% 11% 11% 11% 14% 9%
17% 11% 17% 13% 15% 12% 14% 15% 9% 22% 9% 10% 14% 25% 2% 1%
11% 10% 15% 14% 22% 7%
25% 13% 11% 18% 15% 16% 13% 34% 5%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? (cont.) Prove Prove to to exmyself spouse that I that I was was getting getting on with on with my life my life 23% 31% 1% 0% 1% 21% 23% 21% 24% 1% 1% 20% 19% 35% 22% 1% 0% 2% 27% 27% 22% 20% 17% 1% 22% 14% 0% 28% 25% 3% 3% 4% 1% 3% 2% 4% 1% 4% 4% 2% 4% 3% 0% 1% 3% 0% 3% 1% Appease friends/ family who coaxed me into dating 3% 2% 3% 3% 3% 2% 3% 2% 2% 3% 4% 2% 3% 4% 2% 2% 3% 3% 4%
Prove to Prove to Lift my myself exUnspirits/ Wgted that I was spouse I wgted ease still was still depression attractive attractive
Total
Total 40-49
945 165 364 288 128 74 203 225 91 161 191 424 291 130 100 358 144 357 86
953 190 350 277 136 75 196 210 115 154 203 440 291 125 97 353 128 378 94
18% 18% 19% 19% 12% 13% 16% 16% 21% 22% 18% 16% 21% 18% 14% 15% 17% 21% 14%
4% 5% 5% 2% 7% 3% 2% 2% 6% 10% 6% 5% 3% 7% 3% 2% 2% 6% 10%
1%
50-59 Age Category 60-69 70-79 Men 40-49 Men 50-59 Age by Gender Men 60+ Women 40-49 Women 50-59 Women 60+ 40-44 Age at Divorce 45-49 50-54 55+ Men 40-49 Age at Divorce by Gender Men 50+ Women 40-49 Women 50+

Total Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Find a new partner to live with 8% 6% 8% 7% 9% 9% 6% 6% Find a Find a new new mother/ partner father for to marry children 11% 7% 14% 11% 4% 10% 11% 6% 0% 0% 0% 0% 1%
UnCompanionship, Wgted Sex wgted but no sex
Total SelfAssessment of Health
Total Excellent Very Good Good Fair/Poor
945 114 301 292 132 443 396 216
953 92 273 304 174 451 395 224
15% 11% 12% 20% 17% 11% 12% 8%
16% 13% 15% 10% 14% 14% 15% 12%
Stress Level
High Low Has suffered depression
Depression
Has not suffered depression
589 286 411 246 516 279 139 317 367 154 221 145 122 78
589 297 401 253 526 263 150 295 359 191 213 136 157 82
15% 11% 14% 7%
8% 6% 11% 7% 9% 7% 9% 7% 9% 6% 8% 9% 3% 11%
12% 18% 8% 7% 12% 10% 5% 12% 9% 11% 13% 10% 6% 14%
0% 0% 0%
9 or 10 Ladder of Life - Current 7 or 8 1 thru 6 Ladder of Life - in 5 Years 9 or 10 7 or 8 1 thru 6 3x/week or more Exercise Frequency 2x/week or less Never Protestant Religion Catholic Baptist None
16% 13% 14% 12% 15% 8%
0% 0%
15% 18% 14% 10% 17% 10% 13% 11% 13% 15% 22% 11% 9% 10% 18% 16% 6% 22%
0% 0%
1%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? (cont.) Prove to myself that I was getting on with my life 23% 25% 1% 0% 1% 26% 27% 20% 23% 1% 0% 27% 19% Prove Appease to exfriends/ spouse family that I who was coaxed getting me into on with dating my life 3% 1% 1% 3% 5% 3% 2% 4% 3% 4% 1% 4% 2% 3% 2% 3%
Prove to Lift my myself Unspirits/ Wgted that I wgted ease was still depression attractive
Prove to exspouse I was still attractive
Total
Total
945 114 301 292 132 443 396 216
953 92 273 304 174 451 395 224
18% 13% 15% 18% 20% 19% 15% 25%
4% 4% 2% 6% 7% 6% 3% 8%
1%
Depression
589 286 411 246 516 279 139 317 367 154 221 145 122 78
589 297 401 253 526 263 150 295 359 191 213 136 157 82
14% 12% 17% 25% 15% 18% 24% 21% 16% 14% 13% 26% 14% 11%
3% 6% 2% 6% 5% 4% 2% 4% 5% 4% 2% 3% 7% 5%
1% 1% 1%
28% 25% 25% 19%
2% 2% 3% 3% 2% 2% 6% 1% 3% 4% 1% 2% 4% 2%
2% 3% 3% 4% 2% 4% 4% 2% 2% 2% 4% 0% 3% 2%
1% 0% 1% 1%
26% 20% 23% 21% 27%
2% 2%
28% 19% 29% 27% 23%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? Find a new partner to live with 8% 8% 8% 5% 6% 10% 7% 11% 9% 10% 6% 5% 7% 9% 9% 13% 6% 7% 7% 10% 9% 8% Find a Find a new new mother/ partner father for to marry children 11% 8% 13% 7% 10% 12% 10% 12% 9% 6% 8% 10% 12% 10% 11% 9% 14% 10% 10% 9% 6% 13% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 1% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0%
UnCompanionship, Wgted Sex wgted but no sex
Total # of Times Divorced
Total Once More than once Less than 5 years
945 443 498 142 177 620 308 290 254 177 244 178 290 159 163 148 244 243 294 319 264 673
953 459 492 156 187 600 320 291 251 196 252 168 311 158 151 159 223 258 280 330 293 651
15% 11% 17% 12% 13% 10% 18% 9%
Time Since 5 to 9 years Divorce 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Reason for Cheating Divorce Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Less than 1 Time Spent year Thinking 1 to less than about 2 years Divorce 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Age 11 or Had Children at younger Time of Age 12-17 Divorce Age 18 or older Parents' Marital Status Divorced Stayed married
10% 20% 16% 16% 8% 9%
18% 12% 14% 6%
18% 13% 11% 18% 13% 13% 18% 9%
10% 14% 14% 12% 16% 6%
12% 15% 17% 14% 16% 15% 9% 7%
14% 13% 15% 10%
Total
Q18: What was your PRIMARY motivation for dating? (cont.) Prove Prove Appease Prove to to to exfriends/ exmyself spouse family spouse I getting getting who was still on on coaxed attractive w/my w/my me into life life dating 1% 23% 21% 1% 26% 29% 25% 1% 22% 26% 20% 2% 1% 28% 20% 26% 1% 0% 23% 22% 28% 21% 2% 25% 26% 1% 19% 22% 1% 25% 30% 1% 21% 3% 2% 3% 2% 2% 3% 4% 3% 3% 4% 2% 4% 2% 2% 1% 5% 3% 2% 2% 4% 5% 2% 3% 3% 3% 3% 1% 4% 3% 3% 4% 2% 3% 3% 2% 4% 2% 4% 2% 3% 4% 3% 1% 4%
Prove to Lift my myself Unspirits/ Wgted that I was wgted ease still depression attractive Total Total 945 443 498 142 177 620 308 290 254 177 244 178 290 159 163 148 244 243 294 319 264 673 953 459 492 156 187 600 320 291 251 196 252 168 311 158 151 159 223 258 280 330 293 651 18% 19% 16% 18% 21% 16% 19% 18% 18% 21% 18% 20% 18% 16% 20% 15% 13% 22% 22% 16% 17% 17% 4% 4% 5% 3% 2% 5% 4% 2% 2% 5% 5% 5% 5% 4% 7% 2% 4% 3% 5% 7% 2% 6%
Once # of Times More than Divorced once Time Since Divorce Less than 5 years 5 to 9 years 10 years or more Abuse Different values, lifestyles Cheating Alcohol/drug abuse Fell out of love Came as a surprise Time Spent Thinking about Divorce Less than 1 year 1 to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 years or more None Had Children at Time of Divorce Parents' Marital Status Age 11 or younger Age 12-17 Age 18 or older Divorced Married
Reason for Divorce
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Divorce

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Divorce

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TheDivorceExperience

FINDINGS I. Respondent Profile: Divorcees Ages 40 to 79

40-49 50-59 60-69 70-79

17% 39% 30% 13%

40-44 45-49 50-54 55-59 60+

43% 30% 15% 7% 4%

Not working Working

White Black Hispanic Other

HS or less Some college College degree +

34% 37% 29%

Metro Non metro 15%

CURRENT STATUS Divorced/Separated

Widowed Remarried Living w/ partner

II. Circumstances Surrounding the Divorce

Women Men Total

ChildrenaMajorFactorinDivorceDecision,PlusEconomicsamong Women Only17percentstrungouttheirdecisiontodivorceforfiveyearsorlonger.

ontheirspousewasthereason.Thus,atotalof37percentofwomendivorcees mulledoverhavingadivorceforfiveyearsorlongerandpostponeditforfinancial reasons.Thisisequaltothepercentageofwomenwhopostponeddivorcebecause oftheirchildren.

Had to prepare financially/could not afford it

Just didn't get around to it

Personally didn't believe in divorce

Had counseling first

Trying to make marriage better

Emotional attachment/dependence on spouse

Financially dependent on spouse

Didn't want to lose significant portion of my assests

Didn't have lawyer/didn't know how to start

Social pressure against divorce

We/I got cold feet

Indeed,womenarewellawareofhowdiretheirfinancescouldbecomeaftera divorce.Researchstudieshaveconfirmedtheimpactofseparationanddivorceon theeconomicwellbeingofwomen.

III. Reasons for Divorce

Abuse,lifestyleorvaluedifferences,andcheatingleadthereasonsfordivorce. Justaswomenusuallyinitiatethedivorce,theyaremoreapttoputthehusbandat faultaswell.Ontheotherhand,whilemenalsotendtoblametheirexwives,more ofthemadmittobeingatfault.

Money problems 4% 5% 5% Not carrying weight 3% 5% 6% In love w/ another 4% 3%3% Abandonment 4% 3% 3%

Sex problems In-laws

Q2ac.Ofallthereasonslistedbelow,whichwasthemostsignificantreasonforyourlastdivorce? Oftheremainingreasons,whichwasthenextmostsignificantreasonforyourdivorce?Andfinally, whatwasthethirdmostsignificantreasonforyourdivorce?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)

Not carrying weight

Verbal, physical, or emotional abuse

Women Men Total

Alcohol or drug abuse

Different values, lifestyles

Q3ag.Forthesetopreasons,pleaseindicateifthereasonappliedmostlytoyou,mostlytoyour spouse,ortobothofyouequally.[Appliedmostlytospouse](Base=154to378,respondentswho selectedeachreason.)

Children were supportive of it

Children did not support but were OK with it

13% 21% 17%

Children were somewhat upset about it

21% 35% 28%

Women Men Total

Children were very upset about it

15% 21% 18%

Thechildrensreactionswerecharacterizedmostlybytheirparentsas sad(67%) angry(42%) devastated(22%) Womenandmendidnotdifferintheircharacterizations.

theirchildren(27%menversus3%women).Financesalsodrivesomeofthefearand areassociatedwithincomeandbeingintheirforties.Thosewhohaveableaker futureoutlookthanothersfearfailingagain.

Q1a.Imaginealadderwith10stepsrepresentingtheLadderofLife.LetssupposetheTOPofthe ladder,theTENTHSTEP,representstheBESTpossiblelifeforyou,andtheBOTTOM,theFIRST STEP,representstheWORSTpossiblelifeforyou.AtwhichstepoftheladderdoyoustandATTHE PRESENTTIME?(Base=1147,totalrespondents)

35% 36% 35%

20% 11% 10% 12%

16% 15% 16% 4% 5% 4% Poor

Very Good Men

Good Women Total

More than could bear

Some, more Some, but than usual about usual

Q.Howmuchstress,strain,orpressurehaveyoubeenunderduringthepastfewmonths? (Base=1022,totalrespondents)Panelmembersrespondedtothisquestionoutsideofthecurrent survey.

Yes, Self-Diagnosed Men

23% 21% More than once a week 6% 17%

9% 6% About once a week 4% 13%

Women (Married/with partner) Men (Married/with partner) Women (UnMarried/Separated/Widowed)