Ce Cerium: Discovered shortly after the asteroid

Periodic Table of the Elephants

2012, Don Stewart

Ceres, which was named for the Roman goddess of grains.

Cs Cesium: Liquid at room temperature. More useful

in atomic clocks than on salads.

Ac Actinium: A thespian elephant, acting in the glow

of the spotlight. Greek aktinos, ray.

Cl Chlorine: The Cyclopian mythos is said to have

grown from the discovery of an elephant skull.

Al Aluminum: Now in the convenient six pach. Am Americium: A flag-waving patriot. Sb Antimony: The antithesis of currency? (Gr. anti
+ monos: metal not found alone. L. stlbium, mark.)

Cr Chromium: (Gr. chroma, color). A decorative

metal, used to color glass and create durable, shining alloys.

Co Cobalt: From the German kobold, devil. Like

nickel, this element interfered with the refining process of more valuable metals.

Ar Argon: (Gr. argos, inactive) Not here anymore. As Arsenic: A view from the rear. (Syrian Azzarnika, gold pigment)

Cu Copper: (Latin cuprum, for the ancient mines on

the isle of Cyprus).

At Astatine: (Gr. astatos, unstable) A classic windup toy, with no sense of direction.

Cm Curium: Not to be confused with Helium. Named

in honor of Marie Curie.

Ba Barium: (Gr. barys, heavy) As opposed to

crematin em.

Db Dubnium: Named for Dubna, in Russia, where it

was created. (knighthood)

Bk Berkelium: Named for the University of California, Berkeley. Peace, man. Be Beryllium: Barrelium? Also called Glucinium,
historically identified by its sweet taste (Gr. beryllos, sweet). Dont try this at home the element is quite toxic.

Dy Dyspro(bo)sium: A dysfunctional proboscis. (Gr.

dysprositos, difficult to obtain)

Es Einsteinium: A toast to Albert: One beer mug (Ein

Stein), and 99 bottles

Er Erbium: The beginning of a radiant herb garden. Eu Europium: You lasso em. (Apologies to the E.U.) F Fluorine: (L. fluere, flux or flow) Essential to
proper tuskal hygiene.

Bi Bismuth: Time-tested ingredient in a common

stomach medication, known for its bright pink color.

Bh Bohrium: Nothing boring about Bohr. B Boron: (Arabic buraq) Brace and bit in hand, this
elephant is boring into the aluminum cans can below.

Fm Fermium: In honor of Enrico Fermi, who may or

may not have found fur fashionable.

Br Bromine: Brooming? This halogen stinks (Gr.

bromos, stench), but is used widely in cleaning compounds.

Fr Francium: You want fries with that? Ga Gallium: Discovered by Lecoq de Boisbaudran, a
Frenchman. Latin Gallia (France), and gallus (rooster).

Cd Cadmium: Found as an impurity in zinc

carbonate (L. cadmia), and widely used in rechargeable batteries.

Gd Gandolfinium (Gadolinium): Named for Finnish

chemist Gadolin. Thaumaturgical liberties were taken in the translation.

Ca Calcium: Drink your milk, for strong bones and

tusks.

Ge Germanium: Of immense practical use in lenses,

semiconductors, and electronics, but not lederhosen.

Cf Californium: Lights! Camera! (radio)Action! C Carbon: Carbon Dating a reliable service for
over 5000 years.

Au Gold: Latin aurum, not to be confused with auris (ear). Ha Hafnium: Hafnia, the Latin name for Stockholm home
of The Great L. Phantini, magician extraordinaire.

Hs Hassium: From the German state of Hessen.

Home of the Hessians.

Mo Molybdenum: (Gr. molybdos, lead) Blue jeans,

made in Mali.

He Helium: This Is La Place. (Gr. helios, sun.) Ho Holmium: Elemental, my dear Watson. Holmia,
another Latin name for Stockholm, native city of Cleve, who is credited with the elements discovery along with Swiss chemists Delafontaine and Soret.

Nd Neodymium: A dime novel, or, the New Twin. Ne Neon: In other words, on the knee. Np Neptunium: After Neptune, the god of the sea. Ni Nickel: A rare numismatic variant. (German
Kupfernickel, copper demon)

H Hydrogen: Literally, to make water. In Indium: The Hindu deity Ganesh. Atomic Number
49 is noted in Sanskrit.

Nb Niobium: Daughter of Tantalus, who paid for her

pride with the death of her family. She continued to cry, even after the gods turned her to stone.

I Iodine: Iodine, you dine. We all dine with iodized sodium chloride. (Gr. iodes, violet) Ir Iridium: From the Latin iris (rainbow), for its manycolored salts. Hats off to Van Gogh.

N Nitrogen: A nocturnal Trojan elephant. No Nobelium: No bell. Os Osmium: A smelly metal, used in pen points. O Oxygen: (Gr. oxys, sharp + genes, create: acid
former) And a good thing to keep in your trunk.

Fe Iron: (L. ferrum.) Common metal, historically used

to flatten clothing.

Kr Krypton: (Gr. kryptos, hidden) A bird? A plane?

An elephant?

Pd Palladium: Named for the Greek goddess Pallas Athena;

the knight (Paladin) made a better picture.

La Lanthanum: A thpear-thrower, with a lithp.

From the Greek lanthanein, to lie hidden. Originally found hiding in impure cerium nitrate.

P Phosphorus: (Gr. light bearing) Venus, when it

rises before the sun, or a comforting glow in the dark.

Lr Lawrencium, of Arabia. Actually named for

Ernest O. Lawrence, inventor of the cyclotron.

Pt Platinum: Spanish platina, decorative silver plates,

or colloquial English for decorative silver hair.

Pb Lead: (L. Plumbum). One of the seven

alchemical elements, its symbol adorns this plumbers pockets.

Pr Praseodymium: The Green Twin. (See

Neodymium.)

Pu Plutonium: Not condemned to the underworld,

just the dog house.

Li Lithium: An archaeological record, cast in stone

(from the Greek lithos).

Po Polonium: For Poland, native country of Mme.

Curie. A casual addition to a glowing wardrobe.

Lu Lutetium: Lutetia , ancient L. name for the city

of Paris, an historic haven for lute players.

K Potassium: Pot ash. (L. kalium, alkali) Pm Promethium: For Prometheus, who brought fire
from the heavens.

Mg Magnesium: Lightweight metal, used in making

mag wheels. These are usually kept in the trunk.

Mn Manganese: The magnetic pictographs of the

legendary and wholly fictitious Mangans.

Pa Protactinium. (Gr. protos + aktinos: first ray) Get

out your protractor.

Md Mendelevium: A periodical, in honor of a

renowned table-maker.

Ra Radium: As heard on the radio, this element

produces X-rays one of the first practical uses for atomic radiation.

Mt Meitnerium: Named for Lise Meitner, the

unsung discoverer of nuclear fishin.

R Radon: Egyptian sun god Ra. Originally called

niton, from the Latin, to shine. Calls to mind Niton Shining Armor, or some such nonsense (see Dubnium)

Hg Mercury: Would two of these be dimers?

Re Rhenium: (L. Rhenus, the Rhine.) Such

nomenclature sounds a bit stuffy. Why not just call it Rhineum?

Tc Technetium: Technically speaking, the first

artificial element. Radioactive with a short half-life, natural Technetium disappeared long ago. What does this computer have to do with elephants? Nothing, really, although this one has a long memory, and is unafraid of the mouse.

Rh Rhodium: (Gr. rhodon, rose) Could this be a rose

scholar?

Rb Rubidium: (L. rubidus, deep red) Found in

California, Michigan and Manitoba, but not in Kansas.

Te Tellurium: Forms Tellurides, often in downhill

reactions. (Gr. tellus, earth.)

Ru Ruthenium: (L. Ruthenia, Russia) We couldnt

pass up an alternative pun, a tribute to Babe Ruth.

Tb Terbium: Another of the elements named for its

discovery near Ytterby, Sweden. For the record, not many people wear turbans there.

Rf Rutherfordium: Assuming one has a preference

in vehicle manufacturers. Apologies to New Zealand physicist Ernest R. Rutherford.

Tl Thallium: (Gr. thallos, green shoot, for its green

spectrographic signature.) Here Thalia, the muse of comedy, holds a green stem of grain.

Sm Samarium: Obtained from the mineral

Samarskite, named in honor of a certain Russian mine official, Colonel Samarski. We dont know what kind of hat he wore.

Tm Thulium: The legendary northland of Thule. Th Thorium: Named for the Norse god Thor. Sn Tin: A tin soldier, with a tin horn. (L. stannum) Ti Titanium: Named for the Titans, as was the Titanic.
Going down?

Sc Scandium: Once thought to be found only in

Scandia (L. for Scnandinavia) Still scanning for other sources.

Sg Seaborgium: An oceanographic cyborg. Forgive

us, Dr. Seaborg. Resistance was futile.

W Tungsten: (Swedish, tung sten, heavy stone; Ger.

Wolfram.) This tongue is wolfing down ice cream.

Se Selenium: (Gr. Selene, moon). Only two puns

came to mind: sell and seal. The Great Elephant Seal is a pun in itself we couldnt resist.

U Uranium: For a change of weather, see Protactinium. V Vanadium: Named for the Norse goddess Vanadis.
This van is on its way to Berkelium.

Si Silicon: We had to put the elephant jokes

somewhere. Silly. Con.

Xe Xenon: (Gr. xenon, stranger) What could be

stranger than an elephant warrior princess?

Ag Silver: Hi-Yo! (Chemical symbol Ag is from

argentum, Latin for Kemosabe.)

Yb Ytterbium: Named for the Swedish village of

Ytterby. Fortunately, there is no M, C, or A - tterbium.

Na Sodium: Salted. St Strongium: Strontium to purists, named for

Strontian, a town in Scotland, a country known for publicly demonstrating feats of strength.

Y Yttrium: YTTR - You Think This is Rough? One of

the four elements named for Ytterby, Sweden.

S Sulfur: Surfer, dude? Okay, were reaching on this

one. The alchemical notation makes a great design, however.

Zn Zinc: The pun is obvious. The alchemical symbol

may be more obscure.

Zr Zirconium: (Persian zargun, gold like.) This is

the cubic variety.
Don Stewart is a former physician-turned-visual humorist who has
nothing better to do than think up this sort of academically-oriented silliness. He ponders Life, the Universe, and Elephants from the DS Art Studio in Birmingham, Alabama, and online at www.DSArt.com. 1-800-372-7864

Ta Tantalum: For Tantalus, son of Zeus and father of

Niobe. He was forever tantalized with food and water always out of reach. (Talntalum and Niobium occur together in nature).