Antonio

Acua Final Reflection Paper Sexualities This course was named Sexualities and not Sexuality because in sexuality studies we recognize that sexuality is an invention and that there are many sexual identities that have been invented as a result. The sexological typologies stem from science and its need to classify and label everything. At first I questioned why sexuality studies called itself sexuality studies when really, at the core of it were actually questioning and challenging the idea and invention of sexuality. Then I realized that in order to be part of this institution of knowledge and to be part of society in general we have to participate and play by the rules, for now. Ive gained a great amount of knowledge and perspective from having taken this course. I wasnt expecting it to be as challenging and thought provoking as it was. I feel that all the university learning goals were met in this course: communication, diversity of the human experience, ethics and social responsibility, and inquiry and critical thinking. The writing process we went through for our mid- term essay really helped me better myself as an academic writer; I never realized how much of a passive voice I used when writing. The discussions we had in class were very insightful and rich in critical thinking; those discussions were most often carried over to mentor session where wed have an even more intimate conversation. I noticed that being among a smaller group gave some students the opportunity to speak up and join the conversation when perhaps they couldnt in

main session. Andrea was great at facilitating these conversations and encouraging us to take part in them and participate. One great thing I gained from taking this class was the awareness of how sexuality isnt stable, ahistorical or cross-cultural. One of the readings, A Desired Past by Leila Rupp, really made me understand this idea because I related to the authors story. Like the author, I also grew up with an aunt who lived with another woman. My aunt does not identify herself as a lesbian. My aunt and her friend do not hold hands nor give each other kisses, but they do sleep in the same bed. They have been friends since before I was born, this is what I grew up with and this is what is normal to me. It wasnt until high school that I felt like her lifestyle was different. My friend Dylan lived across the street from my aunt, and one day while we were on a run he asked me if she was a lesbian. I said no, and he pointed out that she wasnt very feminine and that she lived with a woman. I had never thought of my aunt as a lesbian, she was just my aunt. After that conversation I wondered why she kept herself closeted and why she wouldnt just come out. But now I understand. I understand that she is not a lesbian. She is just a woman who lives with another woman. I dont know if they have a sexual relationship or if theyre in romantic relationship at all, and that is not my business because in the end it does not matter: they are not lesbians. The readings have also helped me with my own sexual identity. Ive realized that I dont have to identify as gay, straight or bi. I have had sexual experiences with both men and women, but more of those experienced with men than women. I know I am more attracted to men than I am to women but I have always struggled with

identifying as gay. Ive never been happy with remaining in a box and that is what a label is, a box. I also just really dislike the sound of the word. Having learned that sexuality is simply an invention and that I dont have to conform and take part of it, I am now comfortable with being my own sexual self. There is no one like me, no one that has sex just like me and no one that has the same sexual experiences that I do. I am essentially my own sexual identity, my own brand. I really value what I have gained and learned from taking this course.