PROFICIENCY IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Developing Proficiency in Nonverbal Communication Joi Chadwick Gonzaga University

DEVELOPING PROFICIENCY IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION As a musician and student of the arts for over 15 years, I have been learning how to give, receive, and interpret messages without the use of words. A note in a musical passage may be played loud, fast, or with a harder tone to express aggression or confidence. A dancer may fold into herself to express insecurity or sorrow. In his 1903 piece The Tragedy, Pablo Picasso uses huddled, barefoot figures rendered in shades of blue to evoke in the viewer a sense of loss, poverty, and emptiness. Just as the visual and performing arts use aesthetics, body, face, physical presence, tone, space, dynamics, and tangible objects to convey messages, we do the same in our daily communication. Artists, however, may have private instruction, methods, scales, exercises, master classes, clinics, and other resources designed to increase fluency in their artistic languages. Most of us are vaguely aware of the power and performance of nonverbal communication before anyone tries to teach us about it, but we have seldom tried to examine, organize and consciously act upon what we know. (French, 1977, p. 176) In this paper, I will discuss how communication consultants and trainers can be coaches that help trainees become more aware of nonverbal communication, organize what they perceive, and grow into more effective communicators. Why Focus on Nonverbal Communication? Research has suggested that as much as 65 percent of the way we convey meaning in our messages is through nonverbal channels. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 89) Nonverbal messages can substitute for, complement, clarify, extend the meaning of, repeat, regulate, accent, or even contradict verbal messages. If we study and focus on our practice in verbal channels only, we are ignoring these functions and nearly two-thirds of the total meaning in interpersonal

communication. Therefore, paying attention to and understanding nonverbal messages is important in all our relationships with each other including group relationships. As consultants, it benefits us to be attuned to these messages and their modes of delivery so that we can be strong leaders in carefully designed programs. If we can fold nonverbal communication into the program - or even develop it as a stand-alone program - it also aids us in facilitating use of these channels for trainees. This provides them with meaningful tools and perspectives to take with them and apply in their organizations and other interactions. The added perspectives would enrich their awareness of themselves and others in the areas of appearance, physical environment, eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture and body orientation, proximity, and paralingustics. Appearance The choice of how one chooses to present oneself choices regarding clothing, hairstyle, jewelry, and makeup gives others important information regarding one's occupation, origin, personality, opinions, tastes, and moods. (Wapnick et al, 1998, p. 511) We could add to that list, some less flexible traits as well fitness, body shape and size, marks and blemishes, presence and dimensions of body parts, etc. It is all part of presentation. Some of that presentation we cannot control. An item on the true/false Test of Nonverbal Cue Knowledge states High foreheads are believed by lay people to be a sign of intelligence. (Rosip & Hall, 2004, p. 281) The correct response to that item is true. Still, we can control much of our presentation. It would likely be perceived as inappropriate for a consultant to arrive at a training dressed in a bikini and ready for a day at the beach. That choice would say she did not take the program seriously. Clothing and artifacts [as well as other physical traits] do affect how we feel about ourselves and how we are perceived by

others. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 95) In training programs we can make the learners aware of how we all dress for parts and how we interpret others' physical appearances and personal presentation. Physical Environment Physical environment, like appearance, can offer information about background, mood, goals, and status. For a training program, the physical setup of a training facility is the first impression that participants will have as they begin their session. (Silbermann, 2006, p. 214) How a consultant utilizes this environment communicates things about the trainer and the program to those in attendance. It may suggest flexibility, fun, creativity, or more or less structure, for example. If we carry these principles beyond the training room, physical environment can be seen as extensions of our personalities. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 103) Consultants might help trainees understand that others see their cluttered offices and perceive them to be disorganized and unprofessional. Alternatively, perhaps co-workers see personal effects they've added to their space as warm and inviting. In addition to our shaping of surroundings, our environments alter our behavior and perceptions. How a person behaves in a library differs from how the same person behaves in a supermarket. Both of these differ from how the same person might act at a football game. In turn, how we interact with and within each environment sends messages to others regarding where we've been in life, where we are, and where we want to be. Eye Contact Silbermann offers this tip for consultants: Individualize your audience by making eye contact with the participants. (2006, p. 251) Eye contact helps open connections between people, show interest, and contribute to a sense of credibility. Consultants and anyone involved

in conversation profit from knowing how eye contact affects other people's image of us. For instance, eye behaviors most often associated with deception include rapid blinking, diminished eye contact, and rapid eye movement. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 99) It would not be effective for a consultant to neglect making visual connections with attendees, for instance, as it could convey deception or insecurity in delivery. For the trainee, the program could include in its design activities that shed light on how he seems too passive because he averts his gaze or views someone else in his company as dishonest because that person often has rapid eye movement when asked questions. Facial Expressions A popular song lyric states When you smile the whole world smiles with you. In truth, smiling is a powerful cue that transmits: happiness, friendliness, warmth, liking, [and] affiliation, and it is one of thousands of facial expression we can produce. (Ritts & Stein, n.d.) However, Ekman and Friesen note that even though our faces provide a great deal of information about emotions, we quickly learn to control our facial expressions. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 99) This ability to mask our emotions can be helpful when revealing our true feelings would not be appropriate or the best choice. If a consultant has just gotten bad news at home, it would not be appropriate to carry the emotions about that news on his face during a training program. Conversely, people may tend toward too much control causing them to seem distant, uncaring, or dehumanized. In consulting, as in all interpersonal communication, the best approach is a balance of control and spontaneity. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 100) Gestures When a police officer is directing traffic, it is very important that a driver understand that her hand bent up from the wrist with palm facing out toward him means that he needs to stop.

What the officer is doing is gesturing a behavior that is present in many communication contexts. A good consultant knows that gestures, like facial expressions, can help or hurt the presentation. Effective use of gestures can accent discussion, help illustrate points, and demonstrate confidence and comfort. Poor attention to gestures and their meanings can contradict the message, distract the audience, bore the audience, or signal insecurity. Consultants should also pay attention to gestures of attendees as they may signal a need to change the pace or mood of the program. Also, attendees can benefit from instruction on how to use gestures effectively to help, rather than hurt, them in daily communication. Posture and Body Orientation Acting teacher Stella Adler, instructing her students on the topic of posture, said The spine reaches up and the head sits there. [] You must always be conscious of aspiring upward. Even if you sit down you don't go down. If you think the whole body goes down when you sit you're revealing something about your character. (Kissel & Adler, 2000, p. 54) Indeed, Silbermann warns that part of not sabotaging effective communication is in maintaining good posture. In how we carry ourselves, we may convey self-esteem and emotional states. Referring back to the painting in the introduction, the subjects in The Tragedy were huddled over to express the sense of being without, perhaps feeling beaten by life. It revealed something about their moods and characters. If we were to see those people in real life, even without the blue shades, a keen eye would send us much of the same information and perhaps evoke the same feelings of emptiness. As observers of nonverbal cues, that is the eye we need. Yet how should we, as consultants and as people, carry ourselves to inspire confidence and cooperation? Generally, standing erect, but not rigid, and leaning slightly forward communicates [...] that you are approachable, receptive and friendly. (Ritts & Stein, n.d.) Also, facing someone

communicates interest and closeness. Proximity and Touch Standing straight and proud before someone can be ruined by standing too close or too far away. Edward T. Hall described four distinct distances or zones of human interaction: intimate, personal, social, and public. Human communication modalities have varying functions at these distances. (Hulbert & Capon, 1972, p. 30) Hall's zones of human interaction are shown in the figure below.

Being attentive to these zones can help a consultant neutralize the traditional teacher-pupil relationships and establish a community-like atmosphere. (Silbermann, 2006, p. 222) We can explore these zones from via activities and manipulation of the environment. It is key, though, to be attentive to needs and comfort levels. Allowing too much distance would run counter to the community-like atmosphere and permitting too little space could be perceived as a violation or threat. A trainee might seem uncomfortable if touched, even innocently, by a trainer he just met. He would expect the trainer to stay four or more feet away, yet the trainer has just come into his intimate zone. So he may withdraw or be distracted by the violation for the rest of the program.

Signs that we have invaded a zone might include the following nonverbal behaviors: Rocking Leg swinging Tapping Gaze aversion It is good for the consultant to keep this in mind and pass this knowledge forward during the training. In this manner, trainees can go forward and be aware of their boundaries in different contexts and be more observant of others' boundaries. They are then able to better understand and interpret ideas about the rigidity, looseness, violation, and respect of boundaries. Paralinguistics Paralanguage includes tone, pitch, rhythm, timbre, loudness, and inflection of voice. The voice reveals our thoughts, emotions, and the nature of our relationships with others, but also provides information about our self-confidence and knowledge and influences how we are perceived by others. (Beebe et al, 2010, p. 102) When someone asks How do I look? and the response is Fantastic! with a sarcastic tone, the message taken away is not of looking fantastic. Rather it is the understanding that the sarcasm contradicted and thus negated the verbal message. This affects perception of the respondent maybe he will be perceived as mean or bitter. Strong paralanguage such as this in communication settings proves that often it's not what we say but rather how we say it. This is very important for consultants who want to hold audience attention and convey enthusiasm. For successful transmission of the right messages via paralinguistics, Silbermann offers these suggestions: speak a little slower than you would in normal conversation, speak loud enough to be heard but not so loud that you're shouting, and vary the rate and tone of your voice. Using these techniques will help you present confidently and

enthusiastically which helps galvanize participants because if you sound motivated about seeing them engaged in an activity, participants will internalize some of your enthusiasm. (Silbermann, 2006, p. 265) These tips and attention to aspects of paralinguistics can be used beyond the training setting to exhibit and generate interest in cooperation and more positive relations between individuals in a group. Conclusion The average person probably does not have a standard etude book or studio instructor to turn to when they encounter difficulties in organizational and interpersonal communication. Consultants can build their own interpersonal competency and step into that void and help organizations and individuals develop the skills needed to understand each other across a variety of communications channels. In the preceding paper are just some of the possibilities of how to improve understanding and utilization of nonverbal channels of communication. Because so much meaning is carried in our nonverbal practices, it is crucial that we give this area its due attention to better manage relationships and enhance ourselves as communicators.

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