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THE COMIC

LATIN GRAMMAR;
iri^o^sfnajeBftsr n

fl neto

anD facetious llnttoOucttou

CO

._3

"Z'i

LATIN TONGUE.

WITH NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.

THE SECOND EDITION.

r LONDON:
CHARLES
TILT,

5 *

t/

FLEET STREET.

Fff

1S4O
COE, PRINTER, 27, OLD CHANGE, ST. PAUL'S.

ADVERTISEMENT
TO THE SECOND EDITION.

The Author
edition of
it

of this

little

work cannot allow a second


unaccompanied

to

go forth

to the world,

by a few words

of apology, he being desirous of

imitating, in every respect, the

example of

distin-

guished writers.

He
ally

begs that so much as the consciousness of


for

being answerable

a great deal of nonsense, usu-

prompts a man

to say, in the

hope of disarming have been said


tlie

criticism,

may

be considered
particularly

to

already.

But he

requests that

want

of additions to his

book

may be

excused

and

ADVERTISEMENT.
pleads, in arrest of judgment, his

numerous and

absorbing avocations.

Wishing
deficiency,

to atone as

much

as possible for this

and prevailed upon by the importunity

of his friends, he has allowed a portrait of himself,

by
he

that eminent artist,


is

Mr. John Leech,

to

whom

indebted

for

the embellishments,

and very

probably

for the sale of the book, to

be presented,

facing the title-page, to the public.

Here again he has been


to

influenced

by the wish

comply

Avith the requisitions of

custom, and the

disinclination to appear odd, whimsical, or peculiar.

On

the

admirable sketch

itself,

bare justice
in detail.

requires that he should speak

somewhat

The

likeness he

is

told,

he fears by too partial


principle on

admirers,

is excellent.

The

which

it

has been executed, that of investing with an ideal


magnitude, the proportions of nature,
is

plainly,

from what

we

observe in heroic poetry, painting,


itself of the

and sculpture, the soul

superhuman

ADVERTISEMENT.
and sublime.

Of the

justness of the metaphorical

compliment implied
it is

in the delineation of the head,


;

not for the author to speak


is

of

its

exquisite-

ness and delicacy, his sense


sion.

too strong for expres-

The

habitual pensiveness of the

elevated

eyebrows, mingled with the momentary gaiety of


the rest of the countenance,
cessful points in
is

one of the most suc-

the picture,

and

is

as tiue to

nature as

it is

indicative of art.

The Author's
reasons

tailor,

though there are certain


not appear in print,

why

his

name should

desires to
artist

express his

obligation to the talented

for the

very favourable impression which,


to

without prejudice to truth, has been given


public of his
skill.

the

The

ease so conspicuous in the

management

of the surtout,

and the thought so


fully

remarkable in the treatment of the trousers,


warrant his admiration and gratitude.

Too great praise cannot be bestowed on the


considered with reference
respect the Author
is

boots,
this

to

art,

though in

quite sensible that both him-

ADVERTISEMENT.
self

and the maker

ol'

their originals

have been

greatly flattered.
there
ill

He

is

also perfectly

aware

that

is

a degree of neatness, elegance, and spirit

the tie of the cravat, to which he has in reality


to attain.

never yet been able

In conclusion, he

is

much

gratified

by the

taste

displayed in furnishing him with so handsome a

walking stick

and he assures

all

whom

it

may

concern, that the hint thus bestowed will not be lost

upon him

for

he intends immediately

to relinquish

the large oaken cudgel

which he has hitherto been

accustomed

to

carry,

and

to

appear,

in

every

respect, to the present generation,

such as he will

descend

to posterity.

PREFACE.

GREAT

book, says an old proverb,

is

a great evil;
is

and a great preface, says a


bore.
It is not, therefore,

new

one,

a great

our intention to expatiate


;

largely on the present occasion

especially

since a
is like

long discourse prefixed to a small volume,

forty-eight pounder at the door of a pig- stye.

We

should as soon think of erecting the Nelson


rial in front
it

Memo-

of

Buckingham Palace.
show some kind

Indeed, were
of respect to

not necessary to

fashion,
things,

we

should hasten at once into the midst of

instead of trespassing on the patience of


trifling

our readers, and possibly,

Avith their time.

We
fare.

should not like to be kept waiting at a Lord


feast

Mayor's

by a long

description of the bill of


at

Our

preface,
;

however, shall
is shall

least

have

the merit of novelty

be candid.

This book, like the razors in Dr. Wolcot's story,


is

made

to sell.

This

last

word has a

rather equi-

vocal meaning

but

we

scorn to blot, otherwise

we

should say to be sold.

An

article offered for


;

sale

and it is may, nevertheless, be worth buying the resemblance between the aforesaid hoped that
A 2

4
razors,

PREFACE.
and
this our production, does not

extend

to

the respective 57m;7;e55 of the


razors proved

commodities.
to

The
the

scarcely

worth a farthing
for

clown who bought them

eighteen-pence, and

were

fit

to

shave nothing but the beard of an oyster.

We
least,

trust that the "


to cut,

Comic Latin Grammar"


then, rather better,
that
it

will

be found

now and
;

at

than that comes to


at

and

will

reward

the purchaser,
for

any
its

rate,

with his pennyworth


fide

his penny,

by

genuine bona

contents.

There are many works, the pages of which contain


a

good deal of useful matter

sometimes

in
:

the

shape of an ounce of tea or a pound of butter

we

venture to indulge the expectation, that these latter


additions to the value of our own, will be considered

unnecessary.

Perhaps we should have adopted


" Latin in sport

the

title

of

made

learning in earnest"

which
bear
the
;

would give a tolerable idea of the nature of our


undertaking.
the

The

doctrine,

it

is

true,

may

same

relation to the lighter

matter, that

bread

in Falstaff's private
if

account did to the liquor

though
Ave

we have given our reader " a deal of sack," wish it may not be altogether "intolerable.''
is

Latin, however,

a great deal less like bread, to


like

most boys, than

it is

physic

especially anti-

mony, ipecacuanha, and similar

medicines.

It

ought, therefore, to be given in something palatable.

PREFACE.
and capable of causing
it

O
by
the

to be retained
call to

mind
This

in

what physicians

a pleasant vehicle.
invent

we have endeavoured

and

if

we

have disguised the flavour of the drugs without


destroying their virtues,

we

shall

have entirely
parti-

accomplished our design.


cularly

There are a few


boluses,

nasty

pills,

draughts, and

which

we

could find no

means of sweetening; and with

which, on that account,

meddle.

For these

we have not attempted to omissions we must request


Our performance
it

some

little

indulgence.

is

con-

fessedly imperfect, but be


"

remembered, that
weapons
use,

Men
Than

rather do their broken


their bare hands."

The " Comic Latin Grammar"


never be
called

can,

certainly,

an

imposition, as another Latin


is.

Grammar

frequently
it to

We

remember having
the

had the whole of

learn at school, besides being


for

no

matter

what

pinning a cracker
hint
is

to

master's coat-tail.
attention of boys
;

The above

worthy the

nor will the following, probably^

be thrown away upon school-masters, particularly


such
as reside in the north of England.
fat,"
is

"

Laugh
(like

and grow

an ancient and a true maxim.

Now,

will not the "

Comic Latin Grammar,"


to the breakfast of the

Scotch marmalade and Yarmouth bloaters) form a


" desirable addition"

young

K 3

6
gentlemen entrusted
say

PREFACE.
to

their

care

We

dare not

much
hold

of

its

superseding the use of the cane, as

we
to

all

old established customs in the

utmost

reverence and
deprive any

respect; and, besides, have no wish

one of innocent amusement.


flagellation is

We

would only suggest, that


optional may,

now some-

limes necessary, and that whatever tends to render


it

now and

then, save trouble.

One word
is

in conclusion.

The march
;

of intellect

not confined to the male sex

the fairer part of


their

the creation are

now augmenting by
their

numbers,

and adorning by and

countenance, the scientific


the

literary train.

But
for

path of learning
feet.
;

is

sometimes too rugged


pretend not
to

their tender

We
are

strew

it

for

them with roses

we

not poetically given

nay,
;

we

cannot even promise


if

them a Brussels carpet

but

a plain Kidderhere display one

minster will serve their turn,


for

we

their

accommodation, that thus smoothly and

pleasantly they

may make

their safe ascent to the

temple of Minerva and the Muses.

INTRODUCTION.

Very

little

introductory matter would probably be

sufficient to place the rising generation

on terms of

the most perfect familiarity

with a " Comic Latin

Grammar."
a

To

the elder and middle-aged portion

of the community, however, the very notion of such

work may seem


;

in the highest degree prepos-

terous

if

not indicative of a degree of presumptuous

irreverence on the part of the


literary high treason, if not

author

little

short of
in point

commensurate,
the

of moral

delinquency,
the

with

same crime
It is

as

defined
of

by

common law
for

of England.

out

consideration

the

praiseworthy,

though

perhaps erroneous, feelings of


personages, that

such respectable
the following

we proceed

to

make

preliminary remarks; wherein

it

will be our object,

by demonstrating
ourselves from
duction.
all

the necessity which exists for

such a publication as

the present, to exonerate


its

blame on the score of

pro-

When we

consider

the progress of civilization

and refinement, we

find that all ages

have

in turn

INTRODUCTION.

been characterized by some one distinctive peculiarity

or

other.

To say nothing

of the

Golden
forth,

Age, the Silver Age, the Iron Age, and so


which,
scarcely

with

all possible respect for the poets,

can

be said
;

to

be

worth much in a grave

argument

it is

quite clear that the

Augustan Age,
Age, and the

the Middle Ages,

the Elizabethan
all

Age

of

Queen Anne, were

of

them very

dif-

ferent,

one from the other, in regard

to the peculiar

tone of feeling which distinguished the public


in

mind

each of them.

In

like

manner, the

present

(which will hereafter probably be called the Victorian


it.

Age)

is

very unlike
be

all

that

have preceded
of Comicality.

It

may
that

termed the

Age

Not but
as
it

some traces of comic

feeling, inherent

is in

the very nature of man, have not at all


;

times been more or less observable

but

it

is

only

of late years that the ludicrous capabilities of the

human mind have expanded

in their fullest vigour.


it

Comicality has heretofore been evinced only, as

were, in isolated sparks and flashes, instead of that


full

blaze of meridian splendour which

now pervades
all

the entire

mechanism of
life.

society,

and illuminates

the transactions of
there

Thus

in the

Golden Age,

tures eating acorns, like pigs.

was something very comical in human creaThe Augustan Age


if

was comical enough,


Horace's
satires.

we may
comicality

trust

some of

Much

was displayed

:;

INTRODUCTION.
in

the

Middle Ages,
the

in

the

proceedings of the
Palestine,

knights errant,

doings in

and the

mode adopted by
on the

the priests of inculcating religion


In the Elizabethan

minds of the people.

Age

several

comic incidents occurred at court


of the courtiers were guilty
It

particularly

when any

of personal impertinence to their virgin queen.

must have been very comical


holding stirrups like an ostler,
part

to

see Shakspere

or

performing the
of

of the dress
first

Ghost, in his
in

own play

Hamlet.

The
the

Queen Anne's time, and that of Georges, was very comical indeed but

worn

enough of
time

this.

Our concern

is

with the present


all

the funniest epoch, beyond

comparison, in

the history of the world. the

Some few

years back,

minds of nations, convulsed with the great


then taking place, were in a
to

political revolutions

mood by no means apt


sicality

be gratified by whim-

and merriment.

Furthermore, certain poets

of the lack-a-daisical school, such as Byron, Shelley,

Goethe, and others, Avriting

in comforniity

with the

prevailing taste of the day, threw a wet blanket on


the spirits of men,

which

all

but extinguished the

feeble embers of mirth, upon

which 'shocking events'


a scientific metaphor,

had exercised so pernicious an influence already


or,

to

change a vulgar

for

they placed such a pressure of sentimental atmosphere on the

common

stock of laughing gas, as to

10
convert
it
it

INTRODUCTION.
into a
It

mere
is

fluid,

and almost

to solidify

altogether.

now

exhibiting the amazing

amount

of expansive force,
it

which under favourable


exerting.

circumstances

is

capable of

Many

causes have combined to bring


state of things

about the happy


live.

under which we now

Amongst
the
first

these, the

exertions of individuals hold

rank

of

whom the

veteran Liston, the late lamented

Mr. John Reeve, the facetious Keeley, and the


inimitable

Buckstone, are deserving of our highest

commendation.
to

And more

epecially

is

praise due

the talented author of the

Pickwick Papers,

whose genius has convulsed the sides of thousands,


has revolutionized the republic of letters (making,

no doubt, a great
as
it

many
mirror,

sovereigns) and has become,

were,

which

will

reflect

to all

posterity the laughter-loving spirit of his age,

But

it

is

not (as

we have
recent

before remarked) in
the ludicrous

literature alone,
is
it

that the tendency to

shewn.
is

In

many

scientific speculations

strikingly

and abundantly obvious

some

of

those on geology

may be

quoted as examples.

The
come

offspring of the sciences

those pledges of
almost
all

aff'ection

which they present


into

to art,

of them,

the world with a caricature-like smirk upon

their faces.

Air-balloons and rail-roads have some;

thing funny about them


are,
to

and photogenic drawings

say the

least,

very curious.

The learned

INTRODUCTION.
professions are
is
all

11

tinged with drollery.

The law

confessedly ridiculous from beginning to end, and


is

what
to

very strange,
it

is

that no one should attempt

make

otherwise.

Medicine

is

comical

rather tragi-comical
its

or
and

the disparity of opinion

among

professors, the chaotic state of its principles,


its

the conduct of

students being

considered.

No
the

one can deny that the distribution of church property


doings
is

somewhat odd,
at
least of those

or

can

assert

that

who

are destined for the

clerical office, are

now and
reflect

then of rather a strance

character.
things,
tions

Political

meetings are very laughable

when we
the

upon the strong assevera-

of patriotism there

wisdom of

legislature

the gravest class,


cipal

made and believed. The is by no means of particularly when it offers munia


substitute
for

reforms

as

bread.

The
the

debates in a certain

House must be
if

of a very

humourous character,
proceedings there

we may judge from


Our

frequent " hear hear, and a laugh," by which the


are
interrupted.
risible

faculties are continually called into action at public

lectures of all

kinds

and indeed, no
be,

lecturer,

however learned he may


audience.

has

much chance
also

now-a-days of instructing, unless he can


his

amuse

Nor can

the

various

public and

even private buildings, which are daily springing

up around

us, like so

many mushrooms,

be contem-

12

INTRODUCTION'.

plated without considerable emotions of mirthfulness.


Tiie

new

style of ecclesiastical architecture, entitled


affords a

the Cockney-Gothic,
this

good illustration of

remark

but the

comic Temple of the Fine


is

Arts, in Trafalgar Square,

what Lord Bacon


of
its

would have
correctness.

called a " glaring instance"

The occurrences
lately passed on
;

of the

day bear

all

of them

the

stamp of facetiousness.

The

vote of

approbation,
policy,
is

a certain course of

a capital joke

the tricks that are con-

stantly played off upon

John Bull by the Russians,


others,

French,

Yankees, and
to

though somewhat

impertinent

the aforesaid John, must

seem very

diyerting to lookers on.

The

state in
;

of the

Drama
of our

may

also

be brought forward

proof

position.

Tragedies are at a discount


;

farces are at a

premium
into

lions,

nay goats and monkeys, are pressed

the service of

Momus.

Even

the

various

institutions for the

advancement of morals have not


taste.

escaped the influence of the prevailing

To
In
it

mention that respectable body of men, the Teetotallers, is sufficient of itself to excite

a smile.
find

short,

look

wherever you

will,

you

will

matter of the greatest difficulty to


tenance.

keep your coun-

The
find
is
it

truth

is,

that people are tired of crying,


to laugh.

and

much more agreeable


;

The sublime

out of fashion

the

ridiculous is in vogue.

INTRODUCTION.
turn-up nose
is

13

now a more
;

interesting object than

a turn-down collar

and

if it

should be urged that


indicative

the flowing locks of our of sentimentality

young men are


let it

by

their length,

be remem-

bered that they are in general quite unaccompanied

by a corresponding quality of
said that the schoolmaster
is
is

face.
:

It

has been
;

abroad

true

but he
;

walking arm and arm with the Merry- Andrew

and the members, presidents, and secretaries of


mechanics'
institutions,

and associations
in

for

the

advancement of everything, follow


Nothing can be taught that
nothing
is is

his

train.

not palatable,
is

and

now

palatable but what

funny.

That

boys should be instructed in the Latin language


will be denied

by few (although by some eccentric


has been done)
;

persons

this

that they

can be

expected
to all

to learn

Avhat they cannot laugh at will,

reflecting minds, especially

on perusing the
in
:

foregoing

considerations,

appear

the

highest

degree unreasonable.
as are

To conclude

let all

such

disposed

to stare

at the title of our work,

ponder attentively on what we have said above let them, in the language of the farce, " put this

and

that together,"

and they

will at once perceive

the beneficial

effect,

which holding up the Latin


likely to
for the

Grammar

to ridicule is

produce in the
satisfaction

minds of youth.
our senior readers.

So much

of

And

now,

no longer to detain

14

INTRODUCTION.
let

our juvenile friends,


pleasure, or

us proceed to business,
will

or

both

we

not stand upon cere-

mony with

respect to terms.

THE Sl'HOOLMASTER ABHOAD.

THE

COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Of

Latin there are three kinds


;

Latin Proper, or
Thieves'
Latin.

good Latin

Dog

Latin

and
is

Latin Proper, or good Latin,

the language which

was spoken by the ancient Romans. Dog Latin is the Latin in which boys compose their first verses and themes, and which is occasionally
employed
at

the

Universities

of

Oxford

and

Cambridge, but much more


burgh,

frequently at EdinIt

Aberdeen,

and

Glasgow.
Latin
;

includes
to

Medical Latin, and


the unlearned,

Law

though these,

generally
;

appear Greek.
Illic

Mens
oculo

tuus ego
tuo

mind your eye ex there you go with


est

vadis

cum
;

your eye out

Quo-

modo
to

mater tua?

haustus ter die

how's your mother] Fiat a draught be made, capiendus


let

be taken three times a day;

Bona

et catalla

goods and chattels

are examples.
b2

16

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Thieves' Latin, more commonly

name
class

of slang, of

is

conveyancers,
of

much in use who disregard


and
tuum.

known by the among a certain


the
disit

tinctions

meum
in

Furthermore,

constitutes a great part of the familiar discourse of

most young men

modern times, particularly


It

lawyers' clerks and medical students.

bears a

very close
indeed,
to prig
it is

affinity

to

Law

Latin,

with which,

sometimes confounded.

Examples

a wipe

start
tion.

to

steal a handkerchief.

rum

curious occurrence.

plant

Flummoxed

heavy swell

undone.

an imposiA
tin,

Sold

deceived.

great dandy.

Quibus,

dibs.

A HEAVY SWELL.

mopuses,
victuals.

stumpy

money.

Grub, prog, tuck

stiff-'un a dead

body properly,

subject.

To be scraggedto

suffer the last penalty

of the law, &c.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

17

All these kinds of Latin are to be taught in the

Comic Latin Grammar.

If

Toby, the learned pig, had been desired

to
it

say his alphabet in Latin, he would have done

TOBr, THE LEARNED PIG.

by taking away the


Indeed,
this is

W from
is

the English alphabet.


said to have actually

what he
letters,

done.

The Latin

therefore,

remind us of

the greatest age that a fashionable lady ever confesses she has attained to,

being between twenty


what Dutchmen,
namely,

and

thirty.

Six of these

letters are called


call

speaking English,
a,
e,
1,

fowls

vowels;

o,

u, y.

B 3

18

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

A
full

vowel

is

like

an .^Eolian harp
itself.

it

makes a

and perfect sound of

consonant can-

not sound without a vowel, any

more than a horn

(except such an one as Baron Munchausen's) can

play a tune without a performer.

double

Consonants are divided into mutes, liquids and although they have nothing in letters;
the
r;

particular to do with funerals, hydrostatics, or

General post
the

office.

The
x,

liquids are,
z
;

1,

m,

n,

double

letters, j,

the other letters are

mutes.

"

Hye dum, dye

dutn, fiddle

dumb

c."

Stekne.

A
A

syllable is a distinct sound of one or

more
in the

letters

pronounced

in a breath, or, as

we say

classics, in a jiffey.

diphthong

is

the sound of two vowels in one


collectively

syllable.

Taken

they

resemble

closed

fist

i.

e.

a bunch oi Jives.

The diphthongs
first

are au, eu,

ei, se,

and

oe.

Of the two
is

of these,

au and eu, the sound


of the two vowels of
fact

is

intermediate between that


formed.

which each

This

may

perhaps be impressed upon the mind, on

the principles of artificial


to

a familiar beverage,

known by
ei,

memory, by a reference the name of


which
is

half-and-half.
rally

In like manner,
i,

genee.

pronounced

and

se

and

ce,

sounded like

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

19

may
to

be said

to exhibit

something like an analogy

a married couple.

female

+ Brown

male,

The human diphthong, Smith is called Brown only.

HUMAN DIPHTHONG.

The
reason
reason

reason, says the fool in

King Lear, why


seven

the

seven stars are no more than

because they are not


;

is

a pretty
is

eight.

This

a fool's

but

we

(like

cannot give a better


are no

many other commentators) one, why the Parts of Speech

more than eight


are as follow
:

because they are not

nine.

They
1.

Noun, Pronoun, Verb, Participle

declined.
like to

2.

Adverb, Preposition, Conjunction, Interjec-

tion

undeclined.
them

Most schoolboys would

decline

altogether.

20

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

OF A NOUN,

whether be a Christian a name of a a sur-name name, Whatever a noun. a a pancake,


A
noun
or
is

a name,

it

the

prince,
is

pig,

or

post.

is

Nouns
tives.

are divided

into substantives

and adjecand

A
word

noun substantive
for itself

is its

own

trumpeter,

speaks

without assistance from any other

brassica,

a cabbage
;

sartor,

tailor
;

medi-

cus, a physician

vetula,

an old woman

venenuin,

posion

are examples of substantives.


like

An adjective is
it

an

infant in leading strings


to

cannot go alone.

It

always requires
it

be joined
or

to a substantive,

of which
longa,

shows the nature


;

quality

as

lectio

a long lesson

magnus
;

aper, a great boar ; pinguis puer, a fat

boy

macer

puer, a lean boy.

In making love (as you will find

MAIER IICR.

PINUHS PIER.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

21

one of these days) or in abusing a cab-man, your


success will depend in no small degree in your
choice of adjectives.

NUMBERS OP NOUNS.
Be
not alarmed,
boys, at the
it is

above heading.
true, that is to

There are numbers of nouns,


say, lots
;

or,

as

we say

in the schools, " a precious


;

sight" of nouns in the dictionary but we are not now going to enumerate, and make you learn them. The numbers of nouns here spoken of are two

only

the singular

and the

plural.

The
brick
;

singular
faba, a

speaks but of one


;

as
(or

later,

bean
;

tuba, a

trump

trumpet)
;

flamma, a blaze
nix, a crow.

a}thiops, a nigger (or negro)

cor-

The
bricks
;

plural speaks of
fabae,

more than one


tubse,
;

as
;

lateres,

beans

trumps

flammse,

blazes; aethiopes, niggers

cornices, crows.

Here

it

may

be remarked that the cynic philo-

sophers were very singular fellows.

Also that prize-poems are sometimes composed


in

very singular numbers.

22

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

CASES OP NOUNS.
Nouns have
oal_y

six cases in each number, (that

is,

six of one and

half a dozen of the other) but can

be put in one of them at a time.

They

are

thus ticketed

nominative,

genitive,

dative,

accu-

sative, vocative,

and ablative.
before the verb, as
the

The nominative case comes


the horse

does before

the cart,

" lieutenant
of

before the ancient,"


police

and the

superintendant
It

before

the
or

inspector.

answers
1

to

the

question,

who

what

as,

Who jaws
the

magister

jurgatur, the master jaws.

The

genitive case
to

is

known by

sign

of,

and

answers

the question,
?

whose, or whereof; as

Whose

breeches

Femoralia magistri

the breeches
or to or
for

of the master, or the master's breeches.

The dative case


and answers
to

is

known by
I

the signs to or for,

the question, to

whom,

what

as,

To whom do

hold out
I

Protendo manus magistro


the master.

hold out

my hands ? my hands to

In

this
it

place

we

are called upon to consider,


to

whether

be more agreeable

have Latin or the


School-

ferula at o\xx fingers' ends.

Observe that dative


masters are very often

means giving.
in

the dative case

but

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

23

their generosity is chiefly exercised in bestowing

what

is

termed monkey's allowance

that

is,

if

not

more kicks, more boxes on the ear, more spats, more canings, birchings, and impositions, than halfpence.

The accusative

case follows the verb, as a bailiff

follows a debtor, a bull-dog a butcher, or a round

of applause a supernatural

squall

at

the Italian

Opera.

It

answers

to

the question
?

Whom

or

What ?
The
ing to
;

as.

Whom

do you laugh at

(behind his

back) Derideo magistrum


vocative case
as,
is
is

laugh at the master.


calling, or
;

known by
master

speak-

magister

an exclamation

which
out,

frequently the consequence of shirking


false concords or quantities,

making

obstre-

perous conduct in school, &c.

The
tions,

ablative case

is

known by

certain preposi-

expressed

or

understood;

as

Deprensus
rostro

magistro

caught out by the master.

Coram

before the heak.


by,

The

prepositions, in, with, from,


after

and the word,

than,

the comparative

degree, are signs of the ablative case.

In angustia
native.
grin.

in a fix.

Cum

indigena

arbore

from

a tree.

rictu

with a by a

Ab

Adipe

lubricior

slicker than grease.

24

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

GENDERS AND ARTICLES.


The genders of nouns,
in

which are

three,

the

masculine, the feminine, and the neuter, are denoted

Latin by

articles.

We have

articles,

also,

in

English,

which

distinguish the masculine from the


;

feminine, but they are articles of dress


petticoats

such as

and breeches, mantillas and mackintoshes.

But as there are many things


culine

in Latin, called

mas-

and feminine, which are nevertheless not

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


male and female, the
articles attached to

25
them are

not parts of dress, but parts of speech.

We
initiate

will

now,

with our readers' permission,

them

into a

article hie, haec, hoc.

new mode of declining the And we take this opportunity


the
old

of protesting

against

and short-sighted
at a

system

of

teaching

boy only one thing

time, Avhich originated, no doubt, from the general

ignorance of everything but the dead languages

which prevailed
to

in the

monkish ages.

We propose
we
can

make

declensions, conjugations, &c., a vehicle

for

imparting something more than the mere dry

facts of the

immediate subject.

And
we

if

occasionally inculcate an original remark, a scientific


principle, or a moral aphorism,
shall, of course,

think ourselves sufficiently rewarded by the consciousness

et caetera, et caetera, et cajtera.

Masc.

hie.

Fern. haec.
singular
's

INTeut. hoc,

&c.

The nominative

hie, haec,

and hoc,
full

Which
The

to learn,
;

has cost school boys

many

knock

genitive

's

hujus, the dative

makes
to

huic,

(A

fact

Mr. Squeers never mentioned

Smike);

Then hunc, banc, and

hoc, the accusative makes.

The vocative caret no very The ablative case maketh hoc,

great shakes
hac,

and hoc,

cock

is

a fowl

but a fowl
c

's

not a cock.

26

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

The nominative plural is hi, hae, and hsec, The Roman young ladies were dressed a laGrecque The
genitive case horum, harum, and horum,
;

Silenus and Bacchus were fond of a jorum

The dative in all the three genders is his, At Actium his tip did Mark Antony miss The accusative 's hos, has, andhaec in all grammars, Herodotus told some American crammers The vocative here also caret 's no go, As Milo found rending an oak-tree, you know
:

And

his, like the

dative the ablative case

is.

The Furies had most disagreeable faces. Nouns declined with two articles, are called common. This word common requires explanation it is not used in the same sense as that in which

we

say,

that

quackery

is

common

in

medicine,

knavery in the law, and humbug everywhere


pigeons at Crockford's,

lame ducks

at the

Stock

Exchange, Jews
foreigners
in

at the ditto,

and Royal

ditto,

and

Leicester Square!
is

No

common
;

noun

is

one that

both masculine and feminine

in one sense of the

word therefore

it is

uncoinmon.

Parens, a parent, which


hie,

may be

declined both with

and

hsec, is, for

obvious reasons, a noun of this

class;
soldier,

and

so is fur, will

a thief;

likewise

miles,

which

appear strange

to those of

our

readers,

who do

not call to
;

mind the existence of

the ancient amazons

the dashing white sergeant

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


being the only female soldier
times.
"instance

27
in

known

modern

Nor have we more than one authenticated of a female sailor, if we except the
in the

heroine

commemorated

somewhat apocryphal
with

narrative

Billy Taylor.

Nouns
the

are called doubtful Avhen declined

the article hie or haec

whichever you
Duke
events

please, as

showman

said of the

of Wellington and

Napoleon
customer.

Bonaparte.

Anguis,
all

snake,
is

is

doubtful noun.

At

he

a doubtful

Epicene nouns are those which, though declined


with one article only,
represent both sexes, as hie
passer, a sparrow, hcEC aquila, an eagle,
c

cock and

28
hen.
eagle,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

sparrow, however, to say nothing of an


to

must appear a doubtful noun with regard


there

gender, to a cockney sportsman.

After

all,

is

no rule in the Latin language every thing he but a

about gender so comprehensive as that observed in

Hampshire, where they


tom-cat, and that she.

call

DECLENSION OF NOUNS SUBSTANTIVE.


There are
a pig
is

five declensions of substantives.

As
of

known by
case.

his tail, so are declensions

substantives distinguished
genitive
feelings

by the ending

of the

Our

fear

of outraging the comic

nf

humanity, prevents us from saying


as our love of learning
to do.

quite so

much about them

would otherwise induce us


Latin Grammar,
strongly

We

therefore

refer the student to that clever little book, the

Eton
to

recommending him

decline the following


exercise, after the
set

substantives,

by way
ae.

of an

manner

of the examples there

down.

First declension, Genitivo

Virga,

a rod.

Second,

Tergum, a back
curator,

i.

Puer, a boy.
Third,
is,

Stultus, a fool.

Vulpes, a fox.

Pro-

an attorney.

Cliens, a client.

Fourth,

us
ei.

here you may have, Risus, a laugh Fifth,


at.

Effigies,

an

effigy,

image, or Guy.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


The substantive
in the plural.
face, facies,

29
facies,

makes faces,

Although we are precluded from going through


the whole of the declensions,

we

cannot refrain from

proposing " for the use of schools," a model upon

which

all

substantives

may

be declined in a mode
if

somewhat more agreeable,

not more instructive,

than that heretofore adopted.

Exempli Gratia.

Musa

muS(,

The Gods were at tea, Musae musam.


Eating raspberry jam,

Musa musa, Made by Cupid's mamma,


Musee musarw/n,

Thou " Diva Dearum."


Musis musa,?,
Said Jove
Musffi
to his lass,

musw.
beat this
?

Can ambrosia

DECLENSIONS OF NOUNS ADJECTIVE.


Some nouns
terminations
adjective
are declined with three
tails

as a pacha of three
c 3

would be,

if

30
he were
to

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

make
good

a proposal to an English heiress


tener, tender.

as bonus,

Sweet

epithets

how

forcibly they

remind us of young Love and a

leg of mutton.

Bonus, bona, bonum,

Thou

little

lambkin dumb,

Boni, bonse, boni.

For those sweet chops


Bono, bonae, bono^

I sigh.

Have

pity on

my

woe,

Bonum, bonam, bonum, Thou speak'st though thou


Bone, bona, bonum,
"

art

mum.

O come

and eat me, come,"


lays the low,

Bono, bonae, bono.

The butcher

Boni, bonae, bona.

Those chops are a picture,

ah

Bonorum, bonarum, bonorum,

To put
Bonis

lots of

Tomata sauce

o'er

'em

Don't, miss,
art sweeter than thy

Bonos, bonas, bona.

Thou

mamma,

Boni, bonse, bona.

And

fatter

than thy papa.


bliss
!

Bonis,

What

In like manner decline tener^ tenera, tenerum.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Unus, one
nullus,
;

31

solus,

alone

totus,
;

the

whole

none

alter, the other

uter,

whether of the

twomake
dative in
i.

the genitive case singular in ius and the

RIDDLES.
Q. In what case will a grain of barley joined to

an adjective stand

for the

name

of an animal

A. In the dative case of unus


TJni

uni-corn.
res.
2.
lib. ii.

nimirum

tibi recte

semper erunt
Hor. Sat.

106.
]

Q.

Why

is

the above verse like


it is

all

nature

A. Because

an wm'-verse.
another,
is

The word
above-named

alius,

declined like the


it

adjectives, except that

makes

aliud,

not Silium, in the

neuter singular.

The

difference of unus from alius, say the

London

commentators, like that of a humming-top from a


peg-top, consists of the 'um,

N.B. Tu
pressed by "

es unus

ahus,

is

not good Latin for

" You're another,"

a phrase

more elegantly ex-

Tu

quoque."

32

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


adjectives that remind

There are some

us of

lawyer's clerks, and, by courtesy, of linen-drapers'


apprentices.
tives
;

These may be termed articled adjechie, haec,

being declined with the articles

hoc, after the third declension of substantives


tristis,

as

sad, melior, better, felix, happy.

It is

not very easy to conceive any thing in which

sadness and comicality are united, except Tristis

Amator, a sad

lover.

TRISTIS AMATOR.

Melior
affords no

is

not better for comic purposes.


for

Felix

room

a happy joke.

Decline these three adjectives, and others of the

same

class,

according to the following rules


is or er,
i,

If the

nominative endeth in

why,

sir.

The

ablative singular endeth in

sir

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


The
first,
e,

33
neuter

fourth,

and

fifth

case,

their

make
E; or
i,

But the same

the plural in ia must be.

are the ablative's ends,

mark my song.
:

While
The

or to the nominative case doth belong


settle it thus

For the neuter aforesaid we


plural
is

or a

the singular us.

If than

is, er,

and

or, it

hath

many more

enders,

The nominative serves to express the three genders But the plural for ia hath icia and itia.

As

Felix, felicia

Dives,

divitia.

COMPARISONS OF ADJECTIVES.
Comparisons are odious

why
they are so disa-

Adjectives have three degrees of comparison.

This

is

perhaps the reason

greeable to learn.

The

first

degree of comparison

is

the positive,

which denotes the quality of a thing absolutely.


Thus, the Eton Latin

Grammar

is lepidus,

funny.

The second

is

the comparative,

which increases
to the first

or lessensthe quality,

formed by adding or
i.

case of the positive ending in

Thus

the Charter

House Grammar, is lepidor funnier, or more funny. The third is the superlative, which increases or

diminishes the signification to the greatest degree.

34

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

formed from the same case by adding thereto,


ssimus.

Thus the

Comic Latin
most funny.

Grammar

is

lipidissimus, funniest, or
is acutuS;,

Londoner
acutior,

sharp, or 'cute,

a Yorkshireman
more
or
'cute

sharper, or

more

sharp, 'cuter or

but a
with

Yankee

is

acutissimus

sharpest,
manner

most sharp,

'cutest or

most

'cute, or tarnation' cute.

Enumerate,

in

the

following,

substantives, the exceptions


in the

to this rule,

mentioned

Eton Grammar.
Melior, better.
suet pudding.

Bonus, good,

Optimus,

best.

A plain pudding. A
Malus, bad.

A plum pudding.
flogging.

Pejor, worse.

Pessimus, worst.

caning.

spatting.

&c. &c.
Adjectives ending in
errimus.
of verjuice
er,

form the superlative in


;

The

taste of vinegar is acer, sour

that

acrior,

more sour

the visage of

tee-totaller, acerrimus,

sourest, or

most sour.

Agilis, docilis, gracilis, facilis, humilis, similis,

change

is into llimus,

in the superlative degree.

Madlle. Taglioni. Jim Crow. Agillimus, most nimble. Mr. Wieland. Learned more Ourang-outang.
Agilis, nimble.

Agilior,

more nimble.

Docilis, docile.

Pig.

Docilior,

docile.

Docillimus, most docile.

Man

Friday.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Gracilis, slender.

35

A whipping
&c. &c.

post.

Gracilior,

more slender,

Gracillimus, most slender.

A fashionable A dustman's
in

waist.
leg.

If a

vowel comes before us

the nominative
is

case of an adjective, the comparison

made by

magis, more, and maxime, most,


Pius, pious

Dr. Cantvvell.

Magis

pius,

more

pious.

Maxime

pius,

most pious.

Mr. Maw-worm. Mr. Stiggins.


it

Sancho Panza called DonQuixote,Quixottissimus.


This was not good Latin, but
evinced a knowledge

on Sancho's part, of the nature of the superlative


degree.

OP A PRONOUN.

A
for

pronoun

is

a substitute, or (as

we

once heard

a lady of the Malaprop family say), a subierjuge

a noun.
fifteen

There are

Pronouns.
ille,

Ego,
I,

tu,

thou,

and

Billy,

Is, sui, ipse,

Got very
Iste, hie,

tipsy.

mens,
did not see us.

The governor

36

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Tuus, suus, noster,

We knock'd
monger
for

down

a coster-

Vester, noster, vestras.

daring to pester us.

To

these

may

be added,

egomet,

myself

tute,

thou thyself, idem the same, qui, who or what, and


cujas, of

what country.

DECLENSION OP PRONOUNS.
Pronouns concern ourselves so much, that we
cannot altogether pass over them
or
;

though a hint

two

declension

We
the

mode of learning their we can here afford to give. are constrained now and then to leave out a good
Avith

regard
all

to the

is

that

deal of valuable matter, for the reason that induced


the Dublin

manager

to

omit the part of Hamlet in

play of that

name

the length of the perform:

ance.

Pronouns may be thus agreeably declined


Ego, mei, mihi.
Hoist the frog up sky-high.

Tu,

tui, tibi, fib

In Chancery they
Ille,
ilia,

ye.

illud.

Cows chew

the cud.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Is, ea,
id,

37

Always do

as you're bid.

Qui, quae, quod.

Or

else you'll taste the rod.

Every donkey can


distinctly

decline

is,

ea, id.

We

heard
repeat

one the other day on Hampstead Heath,

E o

a o
!

THE FIRST LESSON IN LATIN.

When

you decline quis quae quid, beware of any

temptation to indulge in dirty habits.


pig-tail instead of

Eschew

chewing

it.

Never have any

quid in your mouth, but a quid pro quo.

38

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

OF A VERB.

A
neck.
It

verb

is

the chief

word
let

in

every sentence, as

Suspendatur per collum,

him be hanged by the

expresses the action or being of a thing.


sapiens,
I

Ego
you

sum

thou art a

fool.

am a Non

wise man.

Tu

es stuhus,

hie amice, pernoctas,

don't lodge here,

Mr. Ferguson.
voices, like the gentleman
at the St.

Verbs have two

who

was

singing, a short time since,

James's

Theatre.

The

active ending in o

as amo,

I love. I

The passive ending


In these two words

in or
is

as amor,
Amo
!

am

loved.

contained the terrestrial

summum bonum

In

short, love beats everything

cock-fighting not excepted.

amor

How

happy every human


be
to

being,

from the peer to the

pot-boy, from the duchess to the dairy-maid, would

be able

to

say

so.

They would conjugate immediately.


however, certain

Except,

modern

political

economists of the

Malthusian school, Avho, albeit they are great advocates for


the
to

diffusion of learning,

are

violently

opposed

unlimited conjugations.
in o

Of verbs ending

some are actives

transitive.

verb

is called

transitive

when

the action passes

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


on
I

39

to the following

noun, as Seco baculuni

meum,
cutting,

cut

my

stick.

Numerous examples
which

of this

kind of

may

be called a comic section, are recorded

in history, both ancient

and modern.

Even Hector

cut his stick (with Achilles after him) at the siege

of Troy.

The Persians
cut
at his

cut their stick at Marathon.


at Pharsalia,

Pompey
Antony

stick

and so did
his

Actium.

Napoleon Bonaparte cut

stick at Waterloo.

Other verbs ending in o are named neuters and


intransitives,

verb

is

called

intransitive,

or

neuter,

when

the action does not pass on, or require


I

a following noun, as curro,


Pistol ran.

run.

Pistol cucurrit,

But

to

say, " Falstaff voluit currere

eum

per,""

Falstaff wished to run

him through,
active,

would be making a neuter verb, a verb

and would
or

therefore be Latin of the canine species,


so would

Dog- Latin;

cucurrit

Mens homo Gulielmus caput suum plenum sed contra te homo die
head
full

pax,

My man William ran his


This,
it

but against

the mantel-piece.
after Cicero.

is

obvious, will not do

Verbs
cut

transitive ending in o
or, as Secor, I

become passive by
Csesar

changing o into

am cut.

was

by

his friend Brutus in the capitol. " This," as

Antony very judiciously

oliserved on the hustings,


all,"

" was the most unkindestcw^of


D 2

much worse,

40
indeed,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


than any of the similar operations which

are daily performed in Regent Street.

BRUTUS 4ND C^SAR.

Verbs neuter and


passive.

intransitive are never

made

We

may

say, Crepo,
I

crack, but

we

cannot say, Crepor,

am

cracked.

The
says, to

ancient heroes appear, from

what Homer

have got

into a

way

of cracking

away most

tremendously when they were going to engage in


single combat.

Orestes

was

certainly cracked.

Some
fication

verbs ending in or have an active signiI

as Loquor,

speak.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Q,

41
1

Why
these

are such verbs like witnesses on oath

A. Because they are called " Deponents."

Of
boast.

some few are

neuters,

as Glorior,

Caesar boasted that he came,

saw, and overnot,

came.

Bald-headed people (like Caesar) do

in general,

make

conquests so easily.
in or,

Neuter Verbs ending

and verbs deponent,


;

are declined like verbs passive

but with gerunds


thus presenting a

and supines

like

verbs active

curious combination of activity and supineness.

There are some verbs which are called verbs


personal.

verb personal resembles a mixed


it

group of old maids and young maids, because


has different persons, as
irrides,

Ego

irrideo,

I quiz.

Tu

thou quizzest.
is

verb impersonal

like a collection of
;

tomb-

stone angels, or small children

it

has not different


it

persons, as taedat,
It irketh to learn
it

it

irketh, oportet,

behoveth.

Greek and

Latin, nevertheless

behoveth

to

do

so.

OF MOODS.
Moods
in verbs

are like

moods

in

man

they

have each of them a peculiar expressio7i.


D

Here,

42

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

however, the resemblance stops.


moods,
verbs

Man

has

have but

five.

For instance,

many we

observe in
(or

men

the merry mood, the doleful mood,

dumps), the shy, timid, or sheepish mood, the


or bumptious

bold,

mood, the placid mood, the

angry mood, whereto

may

be added the vindictive

mood, and the sulky mood; the sober mood, as


contradistinguished
the

from
;

both the
as

serious

and

drunken
in

mood

or
it

blended with the

latter,

which case

may

be called the soberthe

drunk
bling

moodthe
mood
;

contented mood,

grum-

the sympathetic mood,

the sarcastic

mood, the

idle

mood, the working mood, the com-

municative mood, the secretive mood, and the moods


of all the phrenological organs
;

besides the moni-

tory or mentorial

mood, and the mendacious, or


or ro-

lying mood, with the imaginative, poetical,

mantic mood, the compassionate, or melting mood,

and many other moods too tedious

to

mention.
flirting

We
the

must not however omit the


or talkative mood,

mood,

the teazing or tantalizing mood, the giggling mood,

magging

and the scandalizing

mood, which are peculiarly observable inthefair sex.

The moods of verbs are the following 1. The indicative mood, which either affirms a
:

fact

or asks a question, as tu
?

Ego amo,

do love.

Amas

Dost thou love

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


The long and
in these

43

short of all courtships are contained

two examples.

A LONG COlRTSMiP.

2.

The imperative mood, which commandeth,

or

entreateth.

This two-fold character of the impeexemplified in schools, the


part of the master, and the

rative mood is often command being on the

entreaty on that of the boy

as

thus,
!

Veni hue

Come
rative

hither

Parce mihi
is

Spare me

The impelet

mood

also

known by

the sign

as

in

the

well-known verse
"

in the song

Dulce

Domum
for the

Eja

nunc eamus."

"

Hurrah

vacation.

now let us be off' meaning N.B. This mood is one much


!

in the

44

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

mouth of beadles, boatswains, bashaws, majors,


magistrates,
jeants,
nitors,

slave

drivers,

superintendents,

ser-

and

jacks-in-office of all descriptionsmo-

especially,

and prefects of public schools,


it

are very fond of using

on

all

occasions.

THE IMPERATIVE MOOD.

3.

The
signs

potential

mood
it

signifies

power
are,

or duty.

The

by which

is

known

may, can,

might, would, could, should, or ought

as,

Amem,

may
4.

love (when
(if I

have loved

Heave school). Amivissem,! should had not known better,) and the like.
differs

The subjunctive

from the potential only

in being
indefinite

always governed by some conjunction or


word, and in being subjoined
it

to

some

other verb going before

in the
I

same sentence

as

Cochleare eram

cum amarem,

was a spoon when

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


I

45
I

loved

Nescio

qualis sim hoc ipso tempore,


sort of a

don't time.

know what

person

am

at this very

The propriety of
toric,

the above expression " cochle-

are," will be explained in a

Comic System of Rhea gentleman's cab,

which perhaps

ma)""

appear hereafter.

5.

The
it

infinitive

mood

is like

because

has no number.
not

We have
ther to ness," which
cessful

made up our minds


it

exactly,

whemen-

compare

to the " picture of nobody"

tioned in the Tempest, or to the

" picture of ugli-

young
It
it

ladies generally call their suc-

rivals.

may

be like one, or the other,

or both, because

has no person.
it
;

Neither has
indeed, has
it

it

a nominative case before

nor,

any more business with one than a


the sign

toad has with a side pocket.


It is

commonly known by

to.

As,

for
;

example
Nubere,

Amare,
to

to love
;

Desipere, to be a

fool

marry

Poenitere, to repent.

OF GERUNDS AND SUPINES.


Ever anxious
youthful minds,
sible of the
to

encourage the

expansion of

by

as general a cultivation as pos-

various faculties,

we beg

to

invite

attention to the following combination of

Grammar,

Poetry, and Music.

46

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


if all

^tV. Believe me

those endearing young charms. Moore.

The gerunds of verbs end

in di, do,

and dum,
;

But the supines of verbs are but two For instance, the active, which endeth in um,

And

the passive

which endeth

in u.

Amandi, of

loving, kind reader,

beware

Amando,

in loving, be brief
to love, if

Amandum,

you

'r

doom'd, have a care,


your
grief.

In the goblet to drown

all

Amatum, Amatu,
Should
it

to love

and be loved,

be your

felicitous (?) lot.

May

the fuel so needful be never

removed

Which

serves to keep boiling the pot.

OF TENSES.
In verbs there are five tenses, or times, express-

ing an action, or affirmation.


1.

The

present tense, or time.


It

There

is

no time

(or tense) like the present.

expresses an action
Act.
I love, or I

now

taking place.

Examples

loving.

Amo,

am

loving.

Pass.

am am made
some-

drunk, or
2.

am

drunk.

Inebrior, I

am

drunk.

The

preterimperfect

tense

denotes

thing, or a state of things, partly, but not entirely

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


past

47

Examp.
I

did love or
I

bam,
ago.
3.

was

loving.
I

was loving. Amawas made drunk an hour


expresses
a thing

Inebriabar,

was made drunk.

The
loved.
or

preterperfect tense

lately done, but

or

now ended. -Examp. I have loved, Amavi, I loved. I have been made
Inebriatus sum,
I

drunk,

have been drunk.

have been drunk.


4.

The

preterpluperfect tense refers to a thing

done at some time past, but now ended.

Examp.
I

Amaveram,
been drunk.
5.

had loved.

Inebriatus eram,

had

The

future tense relates to a thing to be done

hereafter, as,

Amabo,
get drunk

I shall or Avill

love

Inebri-

abor,

I shall

say to-morrow.

OF NUMBERS AND PERSONS.


Verbs have two numbers. No.
2, Plural.
1,

Singular, No.

In most matters
tion to

it is

usual to pay exclusive atten-

number
it is

one.

In learning the verbs, how-

ever,

necessary to regard equally number two.

The

persons of verbs are generally considered

very disagreeable.

Verbs have three persons


for

in

each number.

Thus,

instance,

at a

dancing

academy

48
Sing.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Ego salto, Tu saltas,


Ille

dance,
dancest.

Thou

saltat,

He
Ye

danceth.

Plur.

Nos Vos
Illi

saltamus,
saltatis,

We dance,
dance,

saltant,

They dance.
princi-

ples

At an academy on Free-knowledge-ical or a Comic Academy.

Ego Tu
lUe

rideo,
rides,
ridet,

laugh,
laughest,

Thou

He
Ye

laugheth.
laugh,

Nos ridemus, Vos ridetis,


Illi

"We

laugh,

rident,
too,
is

They
very

laugh.
at other acade-

Laughter,

common

mies, but generally occurs on the

wrong

side of the

mouth.

The
to

right sort of laughter (which

may

be
is

presumed

be on the right side of the mouth),

most frequent about the time of the holidays.


does the song say
1

What

" Ridet annus, prata rident

Nosque rideamus."
" The year laughs, the meadows laugh, pose

supsee

we have a

laugh as well."
all

Note

That

nouns are of the third person

except Ego, Nos, Tu,

and Vos.

Hence we

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

49
of donke} s
to
call

how absurdly
the picture "

the

man who drew a couple


Three"
to
Ille, he,

acted in endeavouring to prevail

upon us

We

may, perhaps,
tlie

have been qualified

make

a third person in

group, and have " written himself

down an

ass"

with some correctness.

Ego,

I,

and Nos, we,


that animal,

have certainly nothing


and
it is

in

common with

to

be hoped that neither Tu, thou, nor Vos,

ye, can be said to partake of his nature.

Note

also.

That

all

nouns of the vocative case

are of the second person.


say,

So
;

that if
or

we

should

asine,

thou donkey

asini,

ye
on

donkeys,
our side.

we

should have

grammar

at

least

Be
also.

it

your care

to

prevent us from having justice

Of the Verb Esse, to


Before other verbs are declined,
to learn

be.
is

It

necessary
before
to

the verb Esse,

to

be.
it is

And

teach the verb Esse, to be,

necessary

we make

a few remarks on verbs in general.


In the
are
first

place

we have

to

observe, that they

rather difficult; and in the next, that if


to consider

any
in

one expects that we are going


detail,

them

he

is

very

much

mistaken.

But our skipping a very considerable portion of


the verbs,
is

no reason

why
E

boys should do the

50
same.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Were we

all to

follow the
to

examples of our
their

teachers,

instead of

attending

precepts,

where would be the world by


Whirling away, no doubt,
able
society of

this time ?
far

from the respect-

the

neighbouring planets,
left,

and

blundering about right and


skelter

pell-mell, helteritself,

among
it

the

fixed

stars

" and

all

Avhich

inherit" in that glorious state of confusion

so admirably described

by

the poet

Ovid

" Quern dixere Chaos,"

which men have called Shaos.


be
little

It

would indeed

better than a broken down Sha}/-hovse.

But " revenons a nos moutons," that is, let us We recommend the most get back to our verbs.
attentive
forth in

and

diligent study of all of

them as
shall

set

the Eton Grammar, assisted by that kind of ideas, of which

of association

we

now

proceed

to

give a few specimens.

Sum,
that
is

es, fui, esse, futurus, to be,

or not

to

be

the question.
1.

Rule

To each person

of a verb,

singular and

plural, join a noun,


talent.

according to your taste or comic


in the inventive

Should you be deficient


apply
for assistance to

faculty,

one of the senior

boys, which, in consideration of your fagging for

him, he will readily give you.


boy, apply to the master.

If yourself a senior

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Examples.

51

Indicative Mood.
Present Tense.
Sing.

Am,
a man, a a
fool,

Sum,
Es,
Est,

am,
art,

Vir,
Stultus,

Thou

He
Plu.

is,

Latro,

thief.

Sumus,
Estis,

We are,
Ye
are,

Patricii,

gentlemen.
snobs,

Plebeii,

Sunt,

They

are, Errones,

vagabonds.
but that

We would
we

proceed in this

way with Sum,

are afraid of being tire-swm.

Verbs Regular. Amo. First Conjugation.


Sing.

Amo, Amas,
Amat,

I love,

Puellam, a

lass,

Thou

lovest,

Fartum,

a pudding,
pork.

He
Plu.

loveth,

Carnem porcinam,

Amamus,
Amatis,

We love,
Ye
love,

Doctrinam,

learning.

Leporem,

comicality,
poetry.

Amant,

They

love, Poesin,

The consideration of which Rule 2. In repeating


verbs,

three things leads us to

the different

tenses

of

be careful to be provided with a short

Eng-

e2

52
lish verse,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


contrived so as to rhyme with the third

person

singular,

and another
In this

to

rhyme with

the
of

third person plural.

way your powers

composition as well as of memory will be profitably


exercised.

Example.
Second Conjugation.
Sing.

Moneo.

Moneo, mones, monet.


Reid

&

Co.'s

heavy wet.

Plu.

Monemus, monetis, monent.


Beats that from the firmament.

Third Conjugation.
Sing.

Rego.

Rego,

regis, regit,
for office unfit,

A statesman
Plu.

Regimus,
Is

regitis, reguni,

much

like a

bear in a punt.
to give the

Hule
lish

3.

Should you be desired

Engfol-

of each person in the tense which

you are

repeating,

you may (we mean a class of you),

low a plan adopted with great success and striking


eflfect

in that

kind of dramatic representation enti-

tled

"

have
toes,

to

Grand Opera," that of singing what you sar/. Hold up your head, turn out your
your voices, and begin.

clear

A-hem

iO

ROUGH THE

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Fourth Conjugation.
Trio.

53

Audio.

Sing.

Audio,

hear the Tartar drum

Audis, Thou hearest the Tartar drum


Audit,
!

He hears the Tartar drum the


Tartar drum
!

the Tartar

drum

Chorus.

He He

hears

hears
the Tar
- tar

He
Plu.

h--e---a--rs
Audimus,

drum

We hear the Tartar drum, &c.

Verbs Irregular
Are regular
bores.

are

The above Rules

equally

applicable to them, and also to the

Defective Verbs
Concerning which
almost
fect,
all
it

may

be asserted, that though

of them have tenses

more

or less imper-

there are some which have not a single Im-

perfect Tense.

Impersonal Verbs.
Such as
&c.,
delectat,
to
it

delighteth

decet,

it

becometh,

answer
it

such English verbs as take the

Avord

before them.

When we
E 3

consider that

it is

54

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

a term of endearment used in speaking to babies, as " it's a pretty dear," we cannot help thinking

PRETTY DEAR.

that Verbs Impersonal ought

to

be pet verbs. Such


the fact.

however,

is not,

as far as

we know,

OP A PARTICIPLE.

A
is

participle is a hybrid part of speech

a kind
It

of mongrel-cross,

between a noun and a verb.


;

two parts verbs, and four parts noun


composition

wherefore

its

may

be likened unto the milk sold


is

in

and about London, which

usually watered in

the proportion of four to two.

The

properties of

the

noun belonging
;

to

it,

are,

number, gender, case,

and declension
nification.

those of the verb, tense,

and

sig-

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

55

As

a horse hath four legs, so hath a verb four

participles.
Air.

Bonnets of Blue.

There

's

one of the present,


's

and then,
;

There

one of the future in rus

Of the

tense preterperfect a third,


fourth of the future in dus.

and

again,

A
as

Participles are

declined like nouns

adjective,

how can we ask our fair decline a-mans (amans) loving. readers to Now here we feel called upon to say
no
!

but

(blue)

few

words on the difference between a man's loving and a woman's loving. It has often been a question,

whether do
the matter

men

or

women

love most dearly

To us
doubt.
in
for

does not appear to admit of a

We

defy any of our male readers to be


old

love

(when they are

and

silly

enough)

six months without finding themselves most

grievously out of pocket.

We

have a friend who


month,

was
and

in that unfortunate condition for about a


it

cost

him

at least seven and sixpence a

week

maid servant, and that without once being enabled to exchange a word with the object At last he began to think that of his affections.
in fees to the

he was paying rather too dear


he gave
long,
it

for his whistle

so
so

up.

What

girl

would have held on


a return

and

laid out so

much money without

5Q

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


?

not of soft affection, but of hard cash

Women,

indeed, instead of loving dearly, love, according to

our

own

experience, particularly cheaply. Think of


their admirers " shop-

what they save, by taking


ping" with them,
like,

in

ribands, bracelets,

and the

to

say nothing of coach-hire, pastry-cooks,

and the price of admission, when they go with them


to the play.

And we
who
it

should like to hear of the

young lady

in these
less

days would dispose of her


if

hand

at

any thing

than a good round sum

she could help

no, no.

To

love dearly

is

the

precious prerogative of the lords of the


alone.

creation

But we are

forgetting our participles.

The

participle of the present tense ends in a7is,

or ens; as Flagellans,

whipping; Laedens, hurting.


signifies

That of the future


or

in rus,

a likelihood,

design

of doing something, as Flagellaturus,


;

about to whip

Lsesurus,

about to hurt.

That of the preterperfect tense has generally a passive signification, and ends in zts, as Flagella
-

tus,

whipped

Lsesus, hurt.

That

of the future in dus has also a passive sig-

nification,

as Flagellandus, to be whipped

hse-

dendus, to be hurt.

Note

1.

All participles are declined like nouns

adjective.

We

recommend

the above participles to

be declined like winking.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


2.

57
by-

There are three things that are not hurt

whipping

top,

a syllabub, and a cream.

OF AN ADVERB.
Convex and concave
used
to increase or

spectacles are contrivances

diminish the magnitude of objects.


to increase or

Adverbs are parts of speech used


diminish the signification of words.

Spectacles are joined to the bridge of the nose.

Adverbs are
verbs.

joined
;

to

nouns adjective,
;

and
&c.

Bene, well

multum, much

male,

ill,

are adverbs.

Caesar
Ca?sar

mulLum conturbavit indigenas much astonished the natives.

fyESVK AST0NI3III>0 THE NATIVES.

58

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

OF A CONJUNCTION.

A
To
it

conjunction
;

is

a part of speech that joineth


it

together
things
;

wherefore

may gum

be hkened unto

many

for instance

glue, to paste, to

arabic, to mortar, (for


like bricks),

joins words

and sentences together

to

Roman
to

cement, (Laiin conjunctions more espe-

cially),

white of egg, to isinglass, to putty,

to

adhesive plaster, to matrimony.

Conjunctions are thus used.

Ova

ei

lardum,

eggs

and bacon.

Dimidium
et

dimidium^we, half-and-half.
love and madness.

Amor

dementia,

IIAUFANU-HALF.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

59

OF A PREPOSITION.

Preposition

is

a part of speech commonly set

before another word.

Words, however, do not

eat

each other, though


words.

men have been known


is

to eat

Ab,

ad, ante, &c. prepositions.

Sometimes a preposition

joined in composition

with another word, as jorostratus, knocked down


floored.

Tullius ab aquario ^rostratus est

Tully was knocked down by a waterman.

OF AN INTERJECTION.

An

interjection is a

word expressing a sudden

emotion

or
!

feeling,

as
!

Hei

Oh

dear
!

Heu

Lack-a-day

Hem
Bravo
find
!

Brute,
Titus.

Hollo

Brutus.

Euge

Tite,

We
we

here

ourselves approaching the

de-

lightful subject

of the three Concords, with which


short work,
first,

shall

make

for fear of further

Accidence, and, secondly, because

we

are no fonder

than boys are of repetitions, which, were


follow

we

to

the

Eton Grammar

in

the Concords,

we
be

should be obliged to

make

in the

Syntax.

However, there are


mentioned.

just one or

two points

to

60
Rule.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAK.


(Text-hand
copy-books.)
"

Ask

no

questions."

Exception.

When
1

you want
to find the

to

find

where the

concord should be, ask the following

Who

or

what
or

nominative case

to

the verb.

Whom
tive after

what 1 with

the verb, for the accusa-

it.

Who
Who

or

what what

with the adjective,

for the

sub-

stantive to the adjective.


1

or

with the verb,

for the

antecedent

to the relative.

But remember,

that the use of the interrogatives

who
is

and what

however

justifiable in

grammar,
for

very impertinent in conversation.

What,
to say.
ill

example, can be more ill-bred than


are

Who

you

Indeed, most questions are

mannered.

We

do not speak of such expressions


?

as.

Has your
used only

mother sold her mangle

and the

like,

by persons

who have
to

never asked
to
]

themselves

where they expect


Johnson, "

go

but of
said

all

unnecessary
great

demands whatever,
it

" Sir,"

the

Dr
tail

is

uncivil to be continually asking.


tail

Why
long."

is

a dog's

short, or

why

is

a cow's

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

61

OF THE GENDERS OF NOUNS,


Coiiimonlj'

known by

the

name

of

" Propria Qiice Maribus.'"

As
the

the " Propria Quae Maribus" is no joke, and

"

As

in Prsesenti" is too

much

of a joke,

we

must do with them as we did with the verbs.


Singing a song
is

always esteemed a valid substi;

tute for telling a story

and the indulgence which


to

we would have extended

us in this respect,

is

that universally granted to civilized society.

Let the " Propria Quae Maribus" be turned


a series of exercises, thus, or in like
Air.-

into

manner
fifteen.''

"Here

's

to the

maiden of bashful

All names of the male kind you masculine

call,

Ut

sunt (for example), Divorum,


all,

Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, the deities

And

Cato, Virgilius, virorum.


's

Latin

a bore, and bothers


I

me

sore,

Oh how

wish that

my

lesson

was

o'er.

Fluviorum, ut Tibris, Orontes likewise,

Fine rivers in ocean that

lost are,
s
;

And Mensium

October an instance suppli

Ventorum, ut Libs, Notus, Auster.


Latin
's

a bore, &c.

We

do not pretend that the mode of study here


is

recommended,

perfectly original.

The genuine

62

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Propria Quae Maribus, and

As

in Preesenti, like the

writings of the most remote antiquity, consist of certain useful truths recorded in
It

harmonious numbers.

has

been

a question

among commentators,
origi-

whether these interesting compositions were


nally intended to be said or sung.

Analogy (we
which

mean

that derived from the

works of Homer and

Virgil)

would

incline us to the latter opinion,


to

however does not appear


entertained
in

have been generally

the schools.
in the

We
;

shall

give

one
it

more specimen

above style

and we beg

may
wish

be remembered, that in so doing,


to detract in

we have no
all

any way from the merit of the

illustrious poet in the


is,

Eton Grammar

we

think

that he

might have introduced a

little

more
it.

comicality into his work, while he

was about

OF THE PRETERPERFECT TENSE, VERBS.


Otherwise the

Sec.

OF

"As

in Prcesenti.''''

As Oh

in Prsesenti
!

Preterperfect
is

avi.

send

me

well done, lean, and lots of grav\-,

Save

lavo, lavi, nexo, nexui.

Ah

me

how sweet
and

cream with apple-pie,

Juvi from juvo, secui from seco,

Could

n't I lie

tipple,

more Gra?co

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

63

From neco, necui, and mico, word Which micui makes, Oh roast goose,
!

lovely bird
!

Plico which plicui gives.

Delightful grub

And

frico, fricas, fricui, to

rub

So domo,

tono, domui, tonui

make,
to the stake,
too.

And
I

sono, sonui.

mean

the hee^-siake
to

Lead me crepo, crepui


makesforbidding

Which means
Then
Cubo,
to lie

crack (as roasted chestnuts do,)


sound,

veto, vetui

along (these verbs confound

Ye gods) makes cubui, What viler object than


Sto
to

do gives rightly dedi


a coat that
's

seedy

form

steti

has a predilection

Well

let it if it likes, I've

no objection.

&c. &c. &c.

SYNTAXIS.
or the Construction of

Grammar.
the

Q.

What

part of the

grammar resembles
?

indulgences sold in the middle ages

A.

Sin-iSLX.

The first Concord; The Nominative case and the Verb.

Where

there

is

much personality,

there

is

gene-

rally little concord.

f2

64

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

However, a verb personal agrees with its nominative case in number and person, as Sera nunquam est ad bonos mores via. The way to good manners
is

never too

late.

Mind

that, brother

Jonathan.

AMEBICAN GENTLEMEN.

Nofe

The above maxim

is

especially worthy of
;

the attention of neophytes in law and medicine the gods in the gallery, and of Members

of

oHhe House.

The nominative
as

case of pronouns

is

rarely expres-

sed, except for the sake of distinction or emphasis,

Tu es exquisitus, tu es, You 're a nice man, you

are.

^1

(L-

E W

.;

';

L-

1'-

...

V M

II

C SSE

WIOLI.JTOS

MORES NOW SIN!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Sometimes a sentence
the verb, as
is

Q5

the nominative case to

Ingeniias pugni didicisse fideliter artes,

Mollitos mores non sinit esse

viri.

The faithful study of the fistic art From mawkish softness guards a Briton's

heart.
to

Who

can doubt

it

But, besides,
In the

we have much
first

say in praise of boxing.


classical accomplishment.

place,

it is

To say nothing

of the

Olympic and Isthmian Games, which are of themselves suflScient proof of the elegant and fanciful
tastes of the ancients;
fact, that the

we need

only allude to the

Corinthians are universally celebrated

for their proficiency in this science.

Then, of

its

eminently social tendency, there can be no doubt.

What

can be more conducive

to

good fellowship,

and conviviality than the frequent tapping of claret, attendant both on its study and practice ? Nor can
its

beneficial influence

on the

fine arts

be called in
is to

question, seeing that

its

immediate object

teach
is

us the use of our hands.

And
sex,

(which perhaps
all),
it is

the most pursuasive argument of


larly pleasing
to the
fair

particu-

who

besides their

well

known admiration

of bravery, are, to a

woman,

devotedly attached

to the ring.

Sometimes an adverb with a genitive case stands


in the place of the nominative, as

F 3

66

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Partim astutorum mordebantur,
Part of the knowing ones were
bit.
is

We

must contend that the above

a racy

observation.

Exceptions to the Rule.


Verbs
of the infinitive that there is
;

mood

but
it

hold.

Re-

member
to the

scarcely any rule without

an exception

and

this

axiom particularly applies


to

Sjmtax.

We

used

wish

did not
so

beto

cause then
learn

we

should not have had

much

to

resume however
infinitive

Verbs of the
fore

mood
or

often

have

set be-

them an accusative case instead of a nominaut,

tive; the conjunction quod,


as,

being

left

out

Annam

reginam aiunt occubuisse


that

They say

Queen Anne's

dead,

verb placed between two nominative cases of

different

numbers,
it

is

not like a donkey between two


of one or the other,

stacks of hay,

makes choice
it,

and agrees with

as
est,

Amygdalae amarae venenum


Bitter almonds is poison.

We

have written the English beneath the Latin.


it

Perhaps

may be imagined
us.

that

we

think good

English beneath

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

67

A singular noun
to

of multitude

is

sometimes joined

a plural verb

as

Pars puerorum philosophum secuti sunt,


Part of the boys followed the philosopher.

And

so they

would now, particularly

if

they saw

one in costume.

Verbs impersonal have no nominative case before


them, as
Taedet

Pertsesum est Syntaxeos,


Syntax.

me Grammatices, lam weary of Grammar. I am quite sick of

Mirificum visum est Socratem in gyrum saltan-

tem videre,

68
It

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


seemed wonderful
to

behold Socrates jumping

Jim Crow.

the comic latin grammar.

69

Second concord. substantive and the adjective. The


Adjectives, participles, and pronouns agree with
the substantive in gender, number, and case, as

Vir exiguo conventui, sobrioque idoneus

nice

man

for

a small tea-party.

TEA SPOON.

The Spartans, probably, were men


their aversion to

of this kind

drunkenness being well known.


is

Observe how close the concord


stantive and
adjective.
;

between sub-

The
little

ties

of wedlock are

nothing to
there
is

it

for,

besides that in that


discord,

happy

state

very often not a

it is ([uite
\\\

impossible that

man and

wife should ever agree

gender.

70

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Sometimes a sentence supplies the place of a

substantive

the

adjective

being placed in the

neuter gender, as

Audito reginam leones coenantes visisse


It

being heard that

Her Majesty had gone

to see

the lions at supper.

Third Concord. The relative and the antecedent.


The
relative
;

and antecedent

hit it off

very

Avell

together

they agree one with the other in gender,

number, and person, as

Qui plenos haurit cyathos, madidusque


Ille

quiescit,

bonam

degit vitam, moriturque facetus.

"

He who

drinks plenty, and goes to bed mellow.


to do,

Lives as he ought

and dies a

jolly fellow."

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Horace
Avas the fellow for
this

71

kind of thing.

Cato must have been a regular Avet blanket.

Sometimes a sentence
cedent, as

is

placed for an ante-

Heliogabalus,

spiritu contento,

viginti

quatuor

ostrearum demersit in alvum, quod Dandoni etiam


longe antecellit.

Heliogabalus,

at

one breath,

swallowed two

dozen of oysters, which beats even Dando out and


out.

HELIOGABALUS.

Many

of the ancients could swallow a good deal.

relative placed

between two substantives of

different genders

and numbers, sometimes agrees

with the

latter, as

Pueri tuentur ilium librum quae Latina


matices et Comica dicitur.

GramComic

Boys regard
Latin

that book

which

is

called the

Grammar.

72

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Sometimes a
relative

agrees with the primitive,

which

is

understood in the possessive, as

Mirabantur impudentiam suam qui ad reginam


literas misit.

They wondered
letter to the

at his

impudence, who wrote a

queen.

If a

nominative case be interposed between the

relative

and the verb, the relative


or

is

governed by
is

the verb,

by some other word

whicfi

placed

in the sentence with the verb, as

Luciferi quos Prometheus surripuit,

ad Jovem

cujus

numen contempsit, pertinebant. The Lucifers which Prometheus


to Jupiter,

shirked,

be-

longed

whose authority he despised.

In fact,
liyhining.

Prometheus

made

light

of Jupiter's

We
only

now take leave how pleasant it is

of the Concords, observing


to see relatives agree.

IT

'S

PLEASANT TO SEE RELATIVES AGBEE.

: :

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

73

Our next

subject

is

the

Construction of Nouns Substantive.

Which
or

is

not quite so amusing as the construc-

tion of small boats,

paper

kites, pinwheels, crackers,

any other mode of displaying the faculty of

" constructiveness"

though

in one sense the con-

struction of nouns substantive, is

not unlike

the

construction oi puzzles.

When

two substantives of a

different
is

signifi-

cation meet together, the latter


tive case, as

put in the geni-

Ulysses lumen Cyclopis extinxit

Ulysses doused the glim of the Cyclops.


This genitive case
dative, as
is

sometimes changed

into a

Urbi pater

est,

urbique maritus.
city,

Gram. Eton.
whoever he

He

is

the .father of the

and the husband of

the city.

He
was.

must have been a pretty

fellow,

An

adjective of the neuter gender, put without a

substantive, sometimes requires a genitive case, as

Paululum honestatis

sartori sufhcit

A very little honesty is enough for a tailor. A genitive case is sometimes placed alone
preceding
substantive

the

being

understood by the

figure ellipsis, as

74

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


:

Ubi ad magistri veneris, cave verbum de porco When you are come to the master's (house), not
a word about the pig.

The word
to signify

pig

is

a very general term, and

is

used

not only the

animal so called, and such

of the

human

race as resemble him in habits, ap;

pearance, or feelings
of
little

but also to denote a variety


it is

things,

which

sometimes necessary

to

keep

secret.

pedagogue now

and then discovers a

pig-tail appended to his coat collar

this, or

rather
little

the

way

in

which

it

got there,

is

one of the

pigs in question.
is

Robbing the larder

or the garden

another

so is insinuating

horse-hairs into the

cane, or putting cobbler's

wax

on the seat of learning

we mean

the master's stool.


is

sort of

pig

(or

rather a rat)

sometimes smelt by the master on


the dormitories,

taking his nightly walk though

when roast fowl, mince


places of repose.

pies,

bread and cheese, shrub,

punch, &c. have been slyly smuggled into those Shirking

down town

is

always a
of dis-

pig, and the consequences thereof,

in case

covery, a great bore.

Considering that a secret


that betraying one

is

a pig,

it is

singular

should be called letting the cat

out of the bag.

Two

substantives respecting the

same thing

are

put in the

same

case, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Telemachum, juvenem bonae
existimavit.
indolis,

75
Calypso

Calypso thought Telemachus a nice young man.

By

the way,

what a nice young man Virgil


to

makes out Marcellus

have been
is

Praise, dispraise, or the quality of a thing

placed in the ablative, and also in the genitive


case

as
et

Vir paucorum verborum

magni appetitus

A man
A

of few words and large appetite.

Paterfamilias.

Vir multis miseriis

father of a family.

man

of

many

woes.

The man
coachman.

of most woes, however,

is

a hackney

Opus, need, and usus, need, require an ablative


case, as

g2

76

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Didoni marito opus erat

Dido had need of a husband.


-^neae coena usus erat

-^neas had need of a dinner.

But opus appears


adjective for

to

be sometimes placed like an

necessarius, necessary, as
est

Regi Anthropophagoruin coquus opus

The King

of the Cannibal Islands wants a cook.

Which would chambre who


them?

serve his purpose best


dresses men,
or

a valet-dewho
roasts

a wit,

The Construction of Nouns Adjectve.


THE genitive CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE.
Adjectives

which signify
and the contrary

desire,
to

knowledge,

memory,

fear,

these, require a

genitive case, as

Est natura vetularum obtrectationis avida

The nature

of old

women

is

fond of scandal.

This particularly applies

to old

maids.

As
we

those

delightful creatures now-a-days,

not content with

being grey aspire to be actually blue ;


help recommending to them a

cannot

kind of study, for

which

their propensity

to cutting

up renders them

peculiarly
since
it

adapted;

we mean Anatomy.

And
we

is

on the foulest and most odious points

of character that they chiefly delight to dwell,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


more especially suggest
to

77
pursuit of

them

the
is

Morbid Anatomy, as one which

likely to be

attended both with gratification and success.

Mens tempestatum

prsescia

A mind
A

foreknowing the weather.


been

piece of sea-weed has often, heretofore,


;

used as a barometer
this purposd"

but

it

is

only of late that

has been answered by a murphy.


beneficii

Immemor
The
that
sort of

Unmindful of a kindness.
kindness one
is least

likely to forget is

which our master used


us,

to

say he conferred
learning

upon

when he was
rod.

inculcating

by

means of the
ever, that he

We cannot help thinking,


:

how-

began at the wrong end.

Imperitus rerum

Unacquainted with the world,

i.

e.

Not 'up

to snuff.'

Much

controversy has been wasted in attempts to

determine the origin of the phrase " up to snuff."

Some have contended


the

that

it

was suggested by
not to

the

well-know quality possessed by

snuff, of clearing

head; but

this idea is far fetched,

say

absurd.

Others will have that the expression

was
first

derived from Snofe, or Snoffe, the

name of a cunning
time of the

rogue

who
;

flourished about

the

crusade
or

so that " up to Snoffe" signified as clever,


;

knowing, as Snoffe

and was
G 3

in

process of time

78

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


This opinion
is its

converted into " up to snuff."


deserving of notice
favour
is,
;

though the only argument in

that the phrase in question

was

in

vogue

long before the


the

discovery of tobacco.
is

Probably
it

soundest

view

that

which connects
in

with

the proper

name Znoufe, which


among
viii.

ancient

High-

Dutch
great.

is

equivalent to Mercury, whose reputation


the ancients
ii.

for astuteness

was exceedingly
13.

Conf.

Hookey- Walk,
24. Cheek.

Hok. Pok.

Wonk-Fum.

Marin, passim, with

a host of commentators, ancient and modern.

Roscius timidus

Deorum

fuit

Roscius was afraid of the Gods.


Adjectives ending in ax,
derived from
verbs,

also require a genitive case, as

Tempus edax rerum Time is the consumer of all things. Hence Time is sometimes figured as an alderman. Nouns partitive, nouns of number, nouns comparative and superlative, and certain adjectives put
partitively,

require

a genitive

case,

from which

also they take their

gender

as
:

Utrum horum mavis accipe Take which of those two things you had
between the dagger and the bowl of poison.
to to

rather.

So Queen Eleanor gave Fair Rosamond her choice


This,

our mind, would have been like choosing a tree

be hanged on.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Primus fidicinum
Orpheus was the
fuit
first

79

Orpheus

of fiddlers.

He is said to have charmed the hearts of broomstick^. Momus lepidissimus erat Deorum Momus was the funniest of the Gods.
:

Other deities
head.

may have made Jupiter shake his Momus used to make liim shake his sides.
te,

Sequimur

sancte deorum

We
rence

follow thee,

sacred deity.

Namely, the aforesaid Momus.


heathen god that
for,

He

is

the

only-

we

should have had

and certainly the

ever have sacrificed to at

much revethat we should only one The offering most all.

commonly made

to the

god of laughter was, proalso used with these


;

bably, a sacrifice of propriety.

But the above nouns are


Primus
inter philosophos
is

prepositions, a, ab, de, e, ex, inter, ante

as,
:

Democritus

est

Democritus

the

first

amongst philosophers.
to

And why
it

Because he alone was wise enough


laughing
is

find out that

better than crying.

He

was who

first

proved

to the

world that philosophy

and comicality
the

are, in fact,

one science

and that
forget

more we learn the more we laugh.


it

We

whether
remark,

was he

or
is

Aristotle the

who made

the

that

man

only

laughing animal

except the hyaena.

80

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Secundus sometimes requires a dative case, as

Haud

ulli

veterum virtute secundus


none of the ancients

Inferior to

in valour.

Surely Virgil in saying

this,

had an eye

to

a hero,

whose fame has been perpetuated


a later poet.

in the verses of

"

Some talk of Alexander, and some of Pericles, Of Conon and Lysander, and Alcibiades
;

But of

all

the gallant heroes,

there

's

none

for

to

compare,

With my

ri-fol-de-riddle-iddle-lol to the British


!"

grenadier

An
to
it,

interrogative,
shall be of the

and the word which answers

same case and

tense,

except
;

words of a

different construction

be made use of

as

Quarum rerum Of what thinojs

nulla est satietas?


is

Pomorum.
?

there no fulness

Of

fruit.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,


Dr. Johnson used
to

81

say that he never got as

much

wall fruit as he could eat.

-J^Ulnilui.il.nirulHlST

The Dative Case after the Adjective.


Adjectives by which advantage, disadvantage,
likeness, unlikeness, pleasure, submission, orrelation
to

any thing

is signified,

require a dative case


;

as

Astaci incocti patriae idonei sunt in pace

cocti

autem

in bello.

Raw
peace
;

lobsters are serviceable to their country in

but boiled ones in war.


things to get into.
of

Lobster's claws

are nasty

The Corporation

London seemed very much

afraid of the Police clause.

One

of the reasons

why

a soldier
is,

is

sometimes
is

called a lobster, probably

that the latter

marine animal.
Balsenffi persimile

Very
Qui

like a whale.

color albus erat

nunc

est contrarius albo


is

The

colour

which was white

now

contrary to

white.

82

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


people will swear white
is

Some
ends
;

black

to

gain their

and a

man who

will

do

this,

though he

may

not always be

Jucundus amicis
Pleasant
is

to his friends

nevertheless frequently so to his constituents.

Hither are referred nouns compounded of the


preposition con, as contubernalis, a comrade
milito,
;

comall

a fellow

soldier,

&c.

You must
you

con

such words attentively before you can construe


well, or the co;isequence will be, that
will be

considerably blown up,

if

not confoundedly flogged.


are also

Some

of these which signify similitude,

joined to a genitive case, as

Par uncti fulminis

Like greased lightning.

The

familiarity of our transatlantic friends with the


fluid, is

nature of the electric


discoveries

no doubt owing

to the

of

their

countrymen Franklin.

Q.

Was

the

lightning

which that philosopher drew

down from
example
?

the clouds, of the kind mentioned in the

Communis, common
free,

alienus, strange

immunis,

are joined to a genitive, dative, and also to

an ablative case, with a preposition, as

Aures longse communes asinorum sunt

Long

ears are

common

to asses.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

83

Though musical
for

ears

are

not.

We

even doubt

whether they would have the slightest admiration

^ray-ham.

Non
Except
tails

sunt

Tails are

communes caudse hoininibus not common to men.


and
rats'-

coat-tails, shirt-tails, pig-tails,

to

which en-tails may perhaps


last are often cut off.
:

also be added,

though these

Non

alienus a poculo cerevisiae


to

Not averse

a pot of beer.
;

We should think we were not


our bread and butter.

and should as soon


quarrel with

think of engaging in an unnatural

Natus, born

commodus, convenient
;

incommo-

dus, inconvenient

utilis,
;

useful
fit,

inutilis, useless

vehemens, earnest

aptus,

are sometimes also

joined to an accusative case with a preposition, as

Natus ad laqueum

Born

to

a halter.

84

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


for this

Those who are reserved

exalted destiny,

are said to enjoy a peculiar immunity from drowning.

Is this the reason


1

why watermen

are such a

set of rogues

To prevent mistakes, it should be mentioned, that the watermen here meant are those who, by
their

own
to

account, are so called from their office

being

shut the doors of hachiey coaches.


hills,

Verbal adjectives ending in

taken passively,
ending
in

and

participles

made
;

adjectives

dus,

require a dative case

as
;

NuUi penetrabilis astro Penetrable by no star not fond of

acting ?

O O

venerande mihi Listen

te luget

Olympus
the

Listen, to be venerated

by me

Olympic

bewails thee.

The Accusative Case after the Adjective.


The measure
in the

of quantity

is

put after adjectives,

accusative, the ablative, and the genitive

case, as

Anguis centum pedes longus

A
sibus.

snake a hundred

feet long.

Arbor gumnifera,

alta mille et

quingentis pas-

gum-tree a mile and a half high.

Aranea, lata pedum denum

spider ten feet broad.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

85

An
tives

accusative case

is

sometimes put

after adjec-

and participles, where the preposition secunto

dum, appears
Like

be understood, as
asello similis
:

Os humerosque

to a cod-fish as to his

head and shoulders.

Some men
their
to increase

are exceedingly like a cod-fish, as to

head and shoulders, and they often endeavour


this

natural resemblance as
gills.

much

as

possible,

by wearing

The Ablative Case after the Adjective.


Adjectives which relate to plenty or want, sometimes require an ablative, sometimes a genitive case, as

Amor
Love

et melle et felle est foecundissimus


is

very

full
is

both of honey and

gall.

The honey The

of love

we do not know exactly what.


it is

Honey, however,

is

Latin for love,astheIrishman said.

gall of love consists in

First.

Tight boots, in which

often

necessary

86
to

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


do penance before our

Ladys window.
it

This

is

at all events very galling.

Secondly. In lover's sighs, to which


cates their peculiar bitterness.

communilove

Thirdly. Another very galling thing in

is

being cut out.


Fourthly. Love is one of the passions treated of by Gall and Spurzheim. Adjectives and subsantives govern an ablative
case, signifying the

cause

and the form,

or

the

manner

of a thing, as
erat

Demosthenes vociferatione raucus

Demosthenes was hoarse with bawling.

Nomine grammaticus, re barbarus A grammarian in name in reality a barbarian.


:

Like many of the old masters


painters

we

do not mean

though

we

certainly allude to brothers of


it

the brush

perhaps
Does
to

would be better
on account of
reader twig

to call thern

brothers of the angle,


to the rod.

their partiality
?

the

If so,

it

is

unnecessary

branch out into a discussion with


at'

regard to the nature of the barbarity hinted

its

kind of barbarity which, though


perpetrators to be
race, connects

it

may

proclaim

by no means

allied to the feline

them most decidedly with the canine


indignus, unworthy
prceditus.

species.

Dignus, worthy

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


endued
torris,
;

87
;

captus, disabled
;

contentus, content

ex;

banished

fretus, relying

upon

liber, free

with adjectives signifying price, require an ablative


case, as

Leander dignus erat meliore

fato

Leander was worthy of a better


Poor fellow
!

fate.

first to

be head over ears in love, and


!

then over head and ears in the sea

Shocking

What an heroic young man he must have been. What a duck, too, the fair Hero must have thought
him as she watched him from her lonely tower,
nearing her every moment,
as he cleft with lusty

arm

the

foaming herring-pond.

We

mean
else
!

the

Hellespont

but
to

no matter.

What

a goose he

must have been considered by any one

who

happened

know

of his nightly exploits


last
!

How
If

miserably he was gulled at

Never mind.

Leander went

to the fishes for love,

many a

better

man

than he, has, before and since, gone, from the


to the dogs.

same cause,

Conscientia

procuratoris

solidis

sex,

denariis

octo, venale est:

lawyer's conscience

is

to

be sold

for six

and

eightpence.

Some of

these,

sometimes admit a genitive case, as


deae
:

Carmina digna

Verses worthy of a goddess.

H 2

88

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


the following verses are worthy of a god-

Whether

dess or not,

we
if

shall not
to

attempt to decide
all

they a

were addressed
being who,

one at

events

at least to

idolizing constitutes a goddess,

may,
in

perhaps, be termed one.

We

met with them

turning over the pages of an album.

Lines by a Fond Lover.


Lovely maid, with rapture swelling,
Should these pages meet thine eye.
Clouds of absence
soft dispelling

Vacant memory heaves a

sigh.

As
So

the rose, with fragrance weeping.

Trembles

to the tuneful

wave,

my

heart shall twine unsleeping,


it

Till

canopies the grave

Though
Joy
for

another's smiles requited,


fate

Envious

my doom

should be

ever disunited,
!

Think, ah

think, at times on

me

Oft amid the spicy gloaming.

Where
Fond Loves

the brakes their songs

instil.

affection silent
to linger

roaming.

by the

rill

There when echo's voice consoling.

Hears

the nightingale complain,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Gentle sighs

89

Bind

my lips controlling, my soul in beauty's chain.

Oft in slumbers deep recesses,


I

thy mirror'd image see

Fancy mocks
I

the vain caresses


like

would lavish
is

a bee

But how vain


Hark,
I

glittering sadness

hear distraction's knell

Torture gilds

my

heart with madness

Now

for

ever fare thee well

AN ALEDM AUTHOR.

It

would be interesting as well as instructive

to

settle the difference

between love verses and non-

sense verses,
so.

if this

were the proper place


to the

for

doing
:

But we are not yet come

Prosody

nor

shall

we

arrive there very soon unless

we

get on

with the Syntax.

h3

::

90

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAU.


Comparatives,
Avhen

they

may
require

be explained

by

the

word quam,

than,

an ablative

Achilles
Achilles
F'asi

Agamemnone velocior erat was a faster man than Agamemnon.


in

men

modern times are very apt

to

outrun

the constable.

Tanto, by so much, quanto, by

how much,
;

hoc,

by

this,

eo,

by

this,

and quo, by which


signify

with

some other words which


exceeding
;

the measure of

likewise setate, by age,

and natu, by

birth, are often joined to


latives, as

comparatives and super-

Tanto deformissimus, quanto sapientissimus philosophorum.

By

so

much

the ugliest,

by how must

the wisest

of philosophers.

Such an one was Socrates.


to

It is all
;

very well
it

have a contemplative disposition

but

need

not be accompanied by a contemplative nose.

Quo
This

plus habent, eo plus cupiunt


the more they want.
the

The more they have


is

a curious fact in
considered
in

natural

history of

school-boys,

relation to roast

beef

and plum pudding.

Maximum
I

cetate

virum

in tota

Kentuckia contudi

whopped

the oldest

man

in all

Kentucky,

the comic latin grammar,

91

The Construction of Pronouns.


All those Avho would understand the construction
of pronouns, should take care to be well versed in
the distinction
of

between

meum

and tuum, ignorance


neces-

which often gives

rise to the disagreeable

sity of

becoming

too intimately acquainted with

quod.

Mei, of me,
of us, vestri,

tui,

of thee, sui, of himself, nostri,


(the genitive cases of their

of you,
tu,

primitives e^o,
signified, as

&c.) are used

when a person

is

Languet desiderio

tui

He
You

languishes for want of you.

cannot give a more acceptable piece of inforto

mation than the above,


fairer

any young lady.


like
to

The
have

and more amiable sex always

something

if

not to love, at least to pity.

Parsque

tui lateat

corpore clausa meo.

Eton Gram.

And
Or

a part of you

may

lie
!

shut up

in

my

body.

rather

may

it

so lie

How

forcibly a sucking

pig hanging up outside a pork-butcher's shop always


recals this beautiful line of Ovid's to the

mind

Mens, mine,

tuus, thine, suus, his

nice his'n, nosier, ours, vester, yours, are used

own (Cockwhen
;

action, or the possession of a thing is signified

as

Qui bona quae non sunt sua furtim subripit,

ille

Tempore quo

capitur, carcere clausus erit

92

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Him
Ven

as prigs wot isn

't

his'n,
to pris'n.

he's cotch'd

'11

go

These possessive pronouns,


noster,

meus,

tuus,

siius,

and

vester, take after

them these genitive


of him
alone,

cases,

ipsius,

of himself,

solius,

unius, of one, duormn, of two, trium, of three, &c.

omnium, of

all,

plurium,

of more, paucorum, of

few, cujusque, of every one, and also the genitive cases of participles, which are referred to the primitive

word understood
drank six pots

as
:

Meis unius impensis pocula sex exhausi


I

to

my own

cheek.
to

We wonder that
say
so.

any one should have the face

Sui and suus are reciprocal pronouns, that

is,

they have always relation to that which went before,

and was most

to

be noted in the sentence, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Jonathanus nimium admiratur se
:

93

Jonathan admires himself too much.


Parcit erroribus suis,

He

spares his

own

errors.

Magnopere Jonathanus rogat ne


If

se derideas, Jona-

than earnestly begs that you would not laugh at him.

you

do, take care that


fine days.

he does not blow you up

one of these

These demonstrative pronouns,


are thus distinguished
to
:

hie,

iste,

and

ille

hie points out the nearest

me

iste

him who

is

by you
us.

ille

him who

is

at a distance

from both of

In making
as pointers.

game

of the Syntax,

we

regard them

When
latter,

hie and

ille

are referred to two things or

persons going before, hie generally relates to the


ille to

the former, as

Richardus Thomasque suum de more bibebant,

Ebrius hie vappis, ebrius

ille

mero

Both Dick and

Tom

caroused

away

like swine,

Tom

drunk with swipes, and Dicky drunk with

wine.

The Construction

of Verbs.

The Nominative Case after the Verb.


Verbs substantive, as sum,
be,
fio, I

am, forem,
;

might

am made,
nominor,
I

existo, I
I

am

verbs passive of
appellor, I

calling, as

am named,

am

called, dicor,

am

said, vocor, I

am

called,

nun-

94
cupor,
I
I

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

am

seen, habeor, I

am named, and the like to them, as videor, am accounted, existimor, I am


the

thought, have
then), as

same cases before and

after

Adeps viridis est summum bonum Green fat is the chief good. Even among the ancients, turtles were the emblems
:

of love

which, next
first

to eating

and drinking, has


pursuit. This
first,
;

always been the


fact

object of

human

proves,

very

satisfactorily,

two things,

their proficiency in the science of

gastronomy and,

secondly, their extreme susceptibility of the tender


passion.

Pileus vocatur tegula

hat

is

called a

tile.

Likewise

all

verbs in a manner admit after them

an adjective, which agrees with the nominative case


of the verb, in case, gender, and number, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Pii orant taciti.

95

Eton Gram.

The
Is this a
si}'

pious pray silently.


1

rap at the Quakers

The Genitive Case after the Verb.

Sum
to

requires a genitive case as often as

it

sig-

nifies possession, duty, sign, or that

which

relates

any thing

as

Quod rapidam trahit vEtatem pecus est Melibosi, The cattle wot drags the Age, fast coach, is Meliboeus's.

Alas

that such an
!

Age
let

should be banished by the


us hear the

A^a

of rail-roads

Coachman's Lament.
Air.

" Oh give me but my Arab steed."


my
ribbons, and, alack
!

Farewell

Farewell

my

tidy drag

Mail-coach-men now have got the sack,

And

engineers the bag.

My

heart and whip alike are broke


I've lost

my

varmint team

That used

to cut

away
go

like

smoke,

But could
It is,

n't

like
cuj),

steam.

indeed, a bitter

Thus

to

be sent to pot

My

bosom

boils at boiling

up

gallop or a trot.

96

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

My

very brain with fury

's

rack'd,
;

That railways are the rage


I'm sure you'll never find them

act,

Like our old English stage.

A
I

man whose passion

's

crost, is sore,
;

Then pray excuse my^;e^ ne'er was overturn d before,


But now am quite
upset.

These nominative cases are excepted from the


above
noster,
rule,

our, vester, your,

meum, mine, tuum, thine, suum, humanum, human,


like,

his,

bel-

luinum brutal, and the

as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

97

Non

est

tuum aviam

instruere

Don't teach your grandmother

to

suck eggs.

Humanum
It is

est inebriari.
frailty

human

or an amiable

weakness

to get

drunk.
it

Lord Byron proves

to be

human

frailty.

" 3Ian being reasonable, must get drunk."

UEASONABLE CREATURE.

Another poet (anon.) proves


one,

it

to

be an amiable
exists be-

by establishing the analogy which


it

tween
"

and an intoxication of another kind


is like

Love

a dizziness,

Never

lets

a poor

man

go about his business."

Verbs of accusing, condemning, advising, acquitting, and the like, require a genitive case which
signifies the

charge

as
probri,

Qui alterum accusat


eri oportet.

cum ipsum

se intu-

It is

fit

that he

who accuses another

of dishonesty

should look into himself.

98
If this

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

could

maxim were acted up to, what we ever get to frame an indictment 1

attorney

Furti damnatus, " ties menses" adeptus est

Beingcondemnedof theft, he had "three months."

We
ton,"

do not see

much fun
that

in that.

We

cannot help

thinking, however,

" Three Months at Brix(at least a thief-taking)

would form a taking


a novel.

title for

Admoneto magistrum squalidarum vestium


Put the master
That
is if

in

mind of

his seedy clothes.

you want a

(/ood dressing.
is

This genitive case

sometimes changed into an

ablative, either with or without a preposition, as

Putavi de calendis

Aprilibus

te

esse

admo-

nendum
I
first

thought that you ought


of April.

to

be reminded of the

Young

reader

were you ever, on the above anni-

versary, sent to the cobbler's for pigeons' milk, and

dismissed with strap-oil for your pains?

Were
from
1

your domestic and alimentive affections ever sported


with by the false intelligence that a
letter

home and a Or worse,


stones
1

large cake

were waiting

for

you below

did some waggish,

but inconsiderate

friend ever send you a fool's-cap and a

hamper of

Reader, of a more advanced age, were you ever

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

99
might

but we cannot
sell

go on

Oh

Matilda

have been your slave

but

we

it

was

cruel of

you

to

us in such a manner.
alter, the other,

Uterque, both, nullus, none,


ter,

neu-

neither of the two, alius, another, ambo, both,


to

and the superlative degree, are joined


that kind only in the ablative case, as
Fratris,

verbs of

an

asini,

trucidationis
:

accusas

me

Utroque, sed sceleris unius

Do you accuse me of killing my donkey 1 Of both but of one crime.


;

brother or

my

Satago,

to

be busy about a thing, misereor and

miseresco, to pity, require a genitive case, as

Qui

ducit

uxorem rerum

satagit
full

He who
business.

marries a wife has his hands

of

'

We
O
!

hear frequently of lovers being distracted.


so.

Husbands are much more


tergi miserere
!

mei non digna

ferentis

Oh

have pity on

my

back,

suffering

things

undeserved.

Reminiscor, to remember, obliviscor,

to to

forget,

memini,

to

remember, recorder,

to

call

mind,

admit a genitive or accusative case, as


Reminiscere nonarum Novembrium
:

Remember

the fifth of

November.
are
let off

No wonder

that so

many squibs i2

on

that

100
day
;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,


considering the
it.

political

feeling connected

with

Hoc

te

spectantem
this

me meminisse
all

precor

When

you see remember me.


anxious

How

particularly

young men

and

women who are

lovers,

and

all

waiters and chamber-

maids, whether they are lovers or no, besides coach-

men and porters of all kinds, seem

to

be rememhered.

A coachman
lover
fare.
;

in one respect especially resembles a

he always wishes to be remembered by his

Potior, to gain, is joined either to a genitive or to

an ablative case, as
Xantippe, marito subacto, femoralium potita
fiiit.

Xantippe, her husband being overcome, gained


the breeches.

Terentius Thrace potitus est

Terence got a Tartar.

At least he said he did, when he who would n't let him come.

took the prisoner

The Dative Case after the Verb.


All verbs govern a dative case of that thing to
or for

which any thing

is

gotten or taken away, as

Diminuam
I will

tibi

caput

break your head.

Eheu

mihi circulum ademit

Oh

dear, he has taken

away my hoop

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

101

What
In the

a thing

it is

to

be a junior boy

Verbs of various kinds belong


first

to the

above

rule.

place verbs signifying advantage or dis-

advantage govern a dative case, as


Judaei ad

commodandum
live to

nobis vivunt
us.
]
'

The Jews

accommodate

Or accommodate Of these juvo,

us to live

which

laedo delecto,

and some

others,

require an accusative case, as

Maritum quies plurimum juvat


Rest very much delighteth a married man
he can get
it.

when

102

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


case, as
:

Verbs of comparing govern a dative

Ajacem " Surdo" componere


I

ssepe solebam

was

often accustomed to

compare Ajax

to the

"

Deaf un,"

not because he was hard of


cum
;

hearing,

but hard in hitting.

Sometimes, however, they require an ablative


case

with the preposition


case

sometimes an

accusative
inter, as

with the

prepositions

ad and

Comparo Pompeium cum gloho


I

nivali

compare Pompey with a snow-ball.


is

Pompey
Whether

called in the

schools a proper name.


for

it is

a proper name
It

a nigger or not,

may

be questioned.

may
;

also be doubted

whe-

ther a negro can ever rightly be called " snow-ball,"

except he be an ice

man

in

which case even


it is

though he should be the knave of clubs,


that he ought never to be black balled.

obvious

Si ad

pensum verberatio comparetur


compared
to

nihil est
it is

If a flogging be

an imposition,

nothing.

flogging

is

a fly-blow, or at least a ^ea-blow


to the

to the boy,

and a task only


is

master

whereas

as imposition

a task

to the

boy, and very often

a verse task.

Verbs of giving and of restoring govern a dative


case, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

103
:

Learius unicuique filiarum dimidium coronse dedit

Lear gave

his daughters half-a-crown a-piece.

Hence we
Britons.

are enabled to gain

some notion of

the

great value of

money

in the time

of the Ancient

Verbs of promising and of paying govern a


dative case; as

Menelaus Paridi fustuarium promisit

Menelaus promised Paris a drubbing.

'.'

Gubernatoris" est pendere sartoribus pecuniam


the place of " the governor" to
learn

It is

pay

tailors.
it is

Hence young men may


to

how

desirable

be " in statu pupillari."

True, in that state of

104
felicity,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


they are somewhat under control, but the
like nature,

above example, and many others of a


sufficiently prove, that
to the responsibilities of

such restriction, compared

manhood,

is

but a minor

inconvenience.

Verbs of commanding and


case, as

telling

govern a dative

Alexander, vinosus, animis imperare non potuit


Alexander,

when drunk,

could not

command

his

temper.

Thus, in a state of beer,


slaughter at least,
Clitus.

he committed manhis friend

by kilHng and slaying

We
we

could not resist the temptation to

men-

tion this fact, since, as


its

we have

so often laughed at

narration in those interesting compositions called

themes,

thought there must needs be something


it.

very funny about


remarked,
for

Alexander the Great, be

it

the

special behoof of schoolboys,

furnishes an example of any virtue or vice descanted

on in any prose task or poem under the sun.


Antonio dixit Augustus Lepidum veteratoreni
fuisse.

Augustus

told

Antony

that

Lepidus

was

humbug.

We don't know exactly where this historical fact


is

mentioned.

Lepidus

is

di

funny name.
rule, rego, to rule.

Except, from the foregoing

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

105
;

guberno, to govern, which have an accusative case

tempero and moderor, to

rule,

which have some;

times a dative, sometimes an accusative case

as

Luna regit ministros The moon rules the ministers.


:

That

is to

say,

when

it is

at the full,

and resembles

a great 0.

Prseco pauperes gubernat

The beadle governs

the paupers.
sibi

Non semper

temperat ipse

He
He

does not always govern himself.


mollit proprios, nee temperat iras
:

Non animos

neither softens his


his anger.

own mind,

nor tempers

Ecce, Ducrow moderatur equos


Lo,
Q.

Ducrow manages
is

the horses.
like

Why
?

general

officer

a writing-

master

A. Because he

is

a ruler of lines.
case, as

Verbs of trusting govern a dative


Credite, focmineae,

juvencs,

committere

menti,

Nil nisi lene decet.

Believe me, young men,


thing to

it

is

fit

to entrust no-

a female mind but what

is soft.

In
lady.

fact,

soft nothings are fittest for the ear of a

106

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Pomarius
poetae

non credit
trusts not the poet.
it

The costermonger

How

wrong, therefore,

is

to

call

him a green

grocer.

Verbs of complying with and


a dative case, as

of opposing govern

Nunquam

obtemperat

tiro

hodiernus magistro
his master.

modern apprentice never obeys

Verbs of threatening and of being angry govern


a dative case, as

Utrique latronum mortem est minitatus

He threatened By presenting a
them.
sailor

death

to

both of the robbers,

pistol right

and

left

at each of

This when done by some well-disposed


in

a melodrame, constitutes a situation of

thrilling interest.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

107

Sum with its compounds,


a dative case, as

except possum, governs

Oculi nigri non semper sunt faciei ornamentum

Black eyes are not always an ornament


face.

to the

Verbs compoundedwith these adverbs, bene, well,


satis,

enough, male,

ill,

and with these prepositions,


in,

prse, ad, con, sub, ante, post, ob,

inter,

for the

most part govern a dative case, as


Saginatio multis hominibus benefacit

Cramming does good


For instance,
in
it

to

many men.

docs good to aldermen, especially

these days of reform, hy enlarging the Corpo-

ration.
fits

Cramming,

or rather the effect of

it,

bene-

medical men,

who

again do good
in another

to their pati-

ents

by cramming them
of

way.
is

There

is

also a species

cramming which

found very

108

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


by enabling
certain

serviceable at the Universities,

students to pass in a crowd.

OH

niCRE

'S

C'MPLIMENT.

In this respect however

it

differs essentially

from

aldermanic cramming, which enhances the

difficulty

of such a feat in a very remarkable manner.


Puellse, aliae aliis prselucere student

Girls endeavour to outshine one another.

And

yet they

make

light, as

much

as they can,

of

each others charms and accomplishments.


Intempestive parum longe prospicienti Doctori
adlusit.

'

"SottUi. 'C^of^-v^

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

109

He

joked unseasonably

on

the

short-sighted

Doctor.

Johnson was not so short-sighted as


a joke.

to

be blind

to

Not a few

of the verbs mentioned in the last rule,


;

sometimes change the dative into another case


Praestat ingenio alius alium
:

as

One exceeds

another in ability.

Thus one boy learns Latin and Greek


the rest
at
;

better than

another learns slang.


at

One

is

a good hand

construing, another

climbing.

Some boys
of a small

are peculiarly skilled at casting accounts, others in

casting stones.

Here we have a boy

appetite
appetite

and many words, there one of a large


and few words.

Sometimes precocious
sometimes

talent is evinced for playing the fiddle,

110
for

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


playing a stick
is

sometimes, again, a strong


fool.
;

propensity

discovered for playing the


it

This
that

boy makes verses, as

were,

by

inspiration

boy shows an equal capacity in making mouths.

The most
are

peculiar talent, however, and the one most


is that

exclusive of all others,

of riding.

Those who

destined to attain great proficiency in this sci-

ence, can seldom

do any thing else

and usually

begin their career by being horsed at school.


Est, for habeo to have, governs a dative case, as

Est mihi qui vestes custodit avunculus omnes


I

have an uncle who takes care of


it

all

my

clothes.

Suppetit,

sufficeth, is like to this, as

Pauper enim non


For he
is

est cui

rerum suppetit usus


the

not poor, to

whom

use of things

suffices.

The two

last

examples must suggest a rather


to

alarming idea to those who are accustomed


pitiate the relation to

pro-

whom we have just


?

alluded,

by relinquishing
query
sons,

their habits.

Is it possible that

he can ever use one's things

We

recommend

this

to the serious consideration of theatrical per-

and

all

others

who

are addicted to spouting.

Sum
case, as

Avith

many

others admits a double dative

Exitio est avidis alvus pueris

The

belly

is

the destruction of greedy boys.

Particularly those of

Eton College.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Sometimes
mihi,
is

Ill
or also

this dative case


for

tibi,

or sibi,

added

the sake of elegance in expres-

sion, as

Cato suam

sibi

uxorem Hortensio vendidit


to

Cato sold his own wife

Hortensius.

Some
is,

say he only lent her.

The

fact

most probably

that the lady, being tired of her husband, wished

to

be

Bi-loan.

K 2

112

the comic latin grammar.

The Accusative Case after the Verb.


Verbs
transitive, of

what kind soever, whether

active, deponent, or

common, require an accusative

Procuratorem

fugito,

nam

subdolus idem est

Avoid an
rogue.

attorney, for the

same

is

a cunning

Yet

the legal profession

are always

boasting

of

their deeds.

Verbs neuter have an accusative case of a


signification to themselves, as

like

Pomarii asinus duram servit servitutem

Poor animal

A coster-monger's donkey serves a hard servitude. A Sterne heart was once melted by
!

thy sufferings

how
?

then must they affect that of

the gentle reader

There are some verbs which have an accusative


case

by a

figure, as

Nee vox hominem


Nor does your
ture's.

sonat

voice sound like a

human

crea-

This

may

be

said of boys

of various

kinds

a,9

pot-boys, butcher's boys, baker's boys, and other

boys who are in the habit of bawling down areas


also

of several descriptions

of

men, as cab-men,

coach-men, watch-men, and dust-men.

may

likewise

be asserted of

The same some women, such

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


as apple-women, oyster-Avomen, fish-women,

113 and

match-women.
clerks,

Here

also

the singing of charity

children of both sexes,

and the voices of parishand,


lastly,

may be

specified,

of

many

foreigners

whose names terminate

in ini.

Verbs of asking, of teaching, of


of concealing,
cases, as

clothing,

and

commonly

govern

two accusative

Ego docebo
I'll teach

te,

adolescentule,
lessons,

lectiones tuas

you your

young man.
vocative

This speech

is

usually the

prelude to something

which

elicits that

exemplification of the
in

case which has been given

the

first

part of the

Grammar.

Some
even

verbs of this kind have an accusative case

in the passive voice, as


:

Bis denos posceris versus de scoparum manubrio

You

are required to

make twenty

verses on a

broomstick.

Why
itself

should not a broomstick form the subject of

a poetical effusion, when the material of the broom


is

so

often
?

used in schools

to stimulate

in-

ventive genius

K 3

114

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAK.


appellative are

Nouns

commonly added with a


sequae Palladis ibant

preposition to verbs which denote motion, as

Interea ad

templum non

Crinibus Iliades passis. In the

Virgil.

mean time

the Trojan

woman went

to the

temple of unfriendly Pallas with their hair about


their ears.

How odd
occasion
to

they must have looked.

Here we take
to lose
to

remind schoolboys never


of giving

an

opportunity

a comic rendering

any

word

or phrase susceptible thereof,

which they

may
To

meet with in the course of their reading.


say " crinibus passis",

"
it

with dishevelled hair"

would be
lation.

to give

a very feeble and spiritless transliterally

Vir

is

construed
called hero,

man ; some

school-masters will have


to

we propose
fugam,
;

translate

it

cove.
;

So dapes may be rendered


aspera Juno, crusty Juno ;

grub, or perhaps prog

animain

efflare,

to kick the bucket ; capere

to cut one's stick, or lucky ; confectus,

knocked up

fraudatus,

choused ; contundere,

to

whop, &c. &c.

The Ablative Case after the Verb.


Every verb admits an
action, as

ablative case, signifying


or the

the instrument, or the cause,

manner of an

Pulvere nitrato Catilina senatum subruere voluit


Catiline wished to
tiline

blow up the Parliament.

Ca-

was a regular Guy.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

115
in the

A noun
Ovidius
dere fecit

of price

is

put after some words

ablative case, as
solidis

duobus

fibulas

siphonem ascen-

Ovid pawned his buckles for two shillings. The sipho was a tube, pipe, or spout, projecting
from the shops of pawnbrokers, of

whom

there

is

every reason

to

believe that there were a great

many

in ancient

Rome
to

Into this sipho the pledges

where placed
de

in order

be conveyed

to the

adytum

or secret recess of the dwelling.

Vide Casaubon

Avunc
Vili,

Roman.
low
rate, for

at a

paulo, for

little,

minimo.

for

very

little,

magno,

much, nimio,

for too

much,

plurimo, for very much, dimidio, for half, duplo, for

twice as much, are often put by themselves, the

word, pretio, price, being understood, as


Vili venit cibus caninus

Dog's meat

is

sold at a low rate.

These genitive cases put without substantives are


excepted, tanti, for so much, quanti, for

how much,

pluris, for more, minoris, for less, quantivis, for as

much

as you please, tantidem, for just so much,


for

quantilibet,

what you

will,

quanticunque

for

how much

soever, as
:

Non
nihili, of

es tanti

You're no great shakes.

Flocci, of a lock of wool, nauci, of a nut-shell,

nothing, assis, of a penny, pih, of a hair,

116
Imjus,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


of tins,
teruncii, of a farthing,

are

added

very properly to verbs of esteeming, as

Nee verberationem
cussionem
I

flocci
:

pendo, nee ferula per-

pili aestiino

don't

value a flogging a straw, nor do

regard

a spatting a hair.

A
front,

boy who can say

this,

must have a brazen

and an iron back, and be altogether a lad of


of loading, and

viettle.

Verbs of abounding, of
their

filling,

contraries,

are joined to an ablative case, as

Tauris abundat Hibernia


Ireland aboundeth in bulls.

This circumstance
rise to the

it

most probably was which gave

Tales of the O'Hara family.

We
the
throat.

once heard a son of Erin,


of bleeding from

while undergoing
the arm,

operation

remark

that that

would be an easy way of cutting one's


of these

Some
case, as

sometimes

govern a genitive

Optime ostrearum implebantur

They had a

capital

blow out of oysters.


that these are the only

We

are

sorry to remark

native productions patronized by great people.

Fungor, to discharge,
vescor, to live

fruor, to enjoy, utor, to use,

upon, dignor, to think one's self

tHE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


wottliy, muto, to

117

change, communico, to

commu-

nicate, supersedeo, to

pass by, are joined to an

ablative case, as

Qui
officiis.

adipisci coenas optimas volet, leonis fungatur

He who

shall desire to obtain excellent dinners,


office

should discharge the

of a lion.

In which case he will

come

in for the " lion's share."

Q.

Why
]

is

the lion of a party like one of the

grand sources of prejudice

mentioned by Lord

Bacon

A. Because he

is

the Idol of the den.

118
Mereor,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


to

deserve, with
ill,

these adverbs, bene,


melius, better, pejus,

well, satis, enough, male,

worse,

optime, very well,


ablative

pessime, very
the

ill,

is

joined to an
de, as

case with

preposition

De
The

libitinario

medicus bene meretur

doctor deserves well of the undertaker.


it

Notwithstanding
the doctor,

might at

first

sight appear, that

in furnishing funerals,

invades the

undertaker's province.

Some verbs
case, as

of receiving, of being distant, and

of taking away, are sometimes joined to a dative

Augustus

eripuit mihi nitorem

Augustus has taken the shine out of me.


Last Dying Speech of

M. Antony.

An

ablative case, taken absolutely,

is

added

to

some verbs, as
Porcis volentibus Isetissime epulabimur
:

Please the pigs we'll have a jolly good dinner.

The pig had divine honours paid


Greeks.

to

it

by the ancient

as

Jos. Scalig. de

Myst. Eleusin.

An
verbs,

ablative case of the part affected, and


case,
is

by

the poets an accusative

added

to

some

Qui animo

aegrotat,

eum

aera risum

moventem
the laugh-

ducere oportet.

He who
ing gas.

is

sick in

mind should breathe

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

119

Much

learned controversy has been expended in


to

endeavouring
the exhalation

determine whether this gas was


it

by which

is

supposed that the

ancient Pythonesses were affected.

Rubet nasum
His nose

Candet genas

is red.

His cheeks are

pale.

Some

of these words are used also with the geni-

tive case, as

Angitur animi juvenis


natur.

iste,

et

mundum

indig-

That young man


with the world.

is

grieved in mind and disgusted

Such a man
young man.

is

called

by the

ladies an interesting

Verbs Passive.

An

ablative case of the doer (but with the pre-

position a or ab going before), and sometimes also

a dative case,

is

added

to

verbs passive, as

Darius eleganter ab Alexandro victus est

Darius was elegantly licked by Alexander.

The

other cases continue to belong to verbs pas-

sive which belonged to

them as verbs

active, as

Titanes

laesae

majestatis accusati sunt


indicted for high treason.

The Titans were

And

being found guilty Avere quartered in a very

uncomfortable manner, as well as drawn by various

120
artists,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


whose
to
skill

in execution

has been much

commended.
Vapulo,
to

be beaten, veneo,
exulo,
to

to

be

sold, liceo,
fio,

be prized,

be banished,

to

be

made,
tion,

neuter passives, have a passive construc-

as

A
It

prseceptore vapulabis.
will be beaten

Eton Gram.

You
here at

by the master.
is

appears to us that vapulo, to be beaten,


all

events more susceptible of a passive

construction than a funny one.

Malo a cive

spoliari

quam ab

hoste venire.

Eton
sold

Gram.
I

had rather be stripped by a

citizen than

by an enemy. The Romans were regularly sold by the enemy for once, when they had to go under the yoke.

Verbs of the Infinitive Mood.


Verbs of the
also
infinitive

mood

are put after

some

verbs, participles, and adjectives,

and substantives

by

the poets, as
fecit

Timotheus ursos saltare


This was done in ancient as

Timotheus made the bears dance.


it

is in

modern times,

by playing

the

Pandean

pipes.

Inconcinnus erat cerni Telamonius Ajax

Ajax

(ut refer unt) vir

bonus

ire

minor

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

121
;

The Telamonian Ajax was a rum un to look at The lesser Ajax (as they say) a good un to go. The Grecians used to call Ajax senior, the fighting cock, and Ajax junior, the running cock. Verbs of the infinitive mood are sometimes placed alone by the figure ellipsis, as Siphonum de more oculis demittere fluctus
Dardanidae
:

The Trojans (began understood)

to

pipe their eyes.

As

for

^neas

he might have been a town crier.

Gerunds and Supines


govern the cases of their own verbs, as
EfFeror studio pulices industries videndi
I

am

transported with the desire of seeing the

industrious fleas.

122

the comic latin grammar.

Gerunds.
"

When

Dido found ^neas would not come,


in silence,
di

She mourned
Gerunds
stantives
in

and was Di-do-dum."

have the same construction as


certain sub-

genitive cases,

and depend both on

and adjectives, as

Londinensem innatus amor civem urget edendi

An innate love of eating excites the London citizen.


People are accustomed
to

utter a great deal of

cant about the intellectual poverty of civic magistrates,

and common councilmen

in general

but

it

must be allowed that those respectable individuals have often a great deal in them.

TUtlTl

ALDEKMANICUS.

Gerunds
ablative,

in

do have the same construction with


gerunds in

and

dum

with accusative

cases, as

Scribendi ratio conjuncta

cum loquendo

est

The means

of writing are joined with speaking.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

123

Some things are written precisely after the writer's way of speaking. We once, for example, saw the
following notice posted in a gentleman's preserve.

Whear
Thes
Varmint,

'as

Gins and Engens are Set on


for

Grouns

the

Destruction

Of

Any

trespassing Will be prossy-

Cuted a-cordin Too Law. Locus ad agendum amplissimus


:

A place
It

very honourable

to

plead

in.

may be

questioned whether Cicero would have

said this of the

Old Bailey.
is signified,

When necessity

the gerund in duni

is

used without a preposition, the verb est being added,

Cavendum est ne deprensus sis You must take care you 're not

caught

out.

124

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


of advice of special importance to school-

A piece
boys on
shirking

many

occasions,
;

such as the following

down town

making

devils, or letting off

gunpowder behind the


and orchards

school, or in the

yard

con-

ducting a foray or predatory excursion in gardens


;

emulating Jupiter, a

la

Salmoneus,

in his attribute of Cloud-Compelling

by blowing a
cat,

cloud, or to speak in the vernacular, indulging in a

cigar

hoisting a frog

tailing a

dog or

or in

any other way acting contrary


the Animals' Friend Society
;

to

the precepts of

learning to construe

on the Hamiltonian system


birch-rods
multis
aliis

furtivel}'

denuding the

of their

" budding honours."

Cum

quae nunc perscribere longum est.


also changed into nouns adjective, as

Gerunds are

Ad
It is

faciendos versus molestum est

a bore to

make

verses.

This being a self-evident proposition,


enlarge upon
it.

we

shall not

The supine

in

um

signifies actively,

and follows

a verb expressing motion to a place, as

Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut

ipsae

They come
selves

to see,

they come that they them-

may be

seen.

So

said,

or

sung the poet Ovid.


in his time in
?

Was

there an

opera at

Rome

The supine

signifies passively,

and follows

nouns adjective, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

125
esu turpe
:

Quod
be eaten.

olfactu foedum est,


is foul to

idem

est et
is

That which

be smelled,

also nasty to

Except venison,

onions,

and cheese.

Nouns

of time and Place.


Time.

Tempus time. There is a story, mentioned (we quote from memory) by the learned Joe Miller;

of a fellow

who

seeing
it

scribed upon a clock, took


artificer.

"Tempus Fugit" for the name of

in-

the

Persons

who have

lived a

hngiime
;

in the world,

are generally accounted saeje

and are sometimes


more

considered to have had a good seasoning.

Nouns which
commonly

signify a part of time are put

in the ablative case, as

Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit No mortal man is wise at all hours.
The excuse
of a philosopher for getting married.

But nouns which signify the duration of time are commonly put in the accusative case, as

Pugna
The
It is

inter

juvenem Curtium

et

Titum Sabinum

ires horas perduravit.


fight

between young Curtius and Sabine


to

Titus lasted three hours.

an error

suppose that

Roman

mills

were
mill

only water-mills and wind-mills.

The above

l3

126
mu'^t

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


have been rather a " winder" though, and
cost the combatants
:

must have

much pains.
few days
:

We
A
be

say also

in paucis diebus, in a

de die, by day, de nocte, by night, &c,


jest

upon the nouns of Time would, perhaps,


ill

somewhat
for

timed

we

hope, however, to have

Space

one presently.

The Space of a Place.


Tlie space of a place
is

put in the accusative,

and sometimes also


Ceesar
diligentia.

in the ablative, as

jam

mille

passus processerat,

summa

Csesar had
diligence
as a

now advanced a

mile with the greatest

not

on the top of the vehicle so named,


for saying.

young gentleman was once flogged

Qui non abest a schola centenis millibus passuum,


balatronem novi.
I

know

a blackguard

who

is

not absent a hundred

miles from the school.

" Cantare et apponere"


the

to sing

and apply,

is

maxim we would

here inculcate on our youth-

ful readers.

Every verb admits a


so that
it

genitive case of the

name
and

of a city or town in which

any thing takes place,

be of the

first

or second declension,

of the singular number,

as

Quid Romfe faciam

mentiri nescio
I

What

shall I

do at

Rome ?

know not how

to lie.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

127

What a bare-faced
and bull story
the forum.
is

perversion of the truth that cock

of Curtius jumping into the hole in


credit

How the Romans managed to get


is to

from any body but the tailors

us a mystery.

These genitive cases, humi, on the ground, domi,


at

home,

militisB,

in war, belli, in war,

follow the

construction of proper names, as

Parvi sunt

foris

anna
home.

nisi est consilium

domi

Arms

are of

little

worth abroad unless there be

wisdom
Canada.

at

Cicero must have said this with a prospective eye


to

But
plural
is

if the

name

of a city or town shall be of the


it

number

only, or of the third declension,

put

in the ablative case, as

Aiunt centum portas Thebis

fuisse

They say

there were an hundred gates at Thebes.


it

You

needn't believe

unless you like.

Egregia Tibure facta videnda sunt


Fine doings are
Tlie
to
is

be seen at Tivoli.
often put after verbs sig-

name

of a place

nifying motion to a place in the accusative case

without a preposition, as
Concessi

Cantabrigiam ad
:

capiendum ingenii
man.

cultum
I

went

to

Cambridge

to

become a

fast

After

this

manner we use domus, a house, and

128

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


as

rus, the country,

Rus

ire

jussus sum,
I

was

rusticated.

Domum

missus eram,

was

sent home.

Going
tates, in

too fast at

Cambridge sometimes necessiair.

two senses, a dose of country


of a place
is

The name

sometimes added

to

verbs

signifying motion from a place, in the ablative case

without a proposition, as
Arbitror te Virginia veteri venisse
I
:

reckon you've come from old Virginny.

Verbs Impersonal.
Verbs impersonal have no nominative
After a tragedy
case, as
:

Scenas post tragicas multum juvat ire sub umbras


it is

very pleasant

to

go under the

Shades.

The worst
are

of

these

" Shades"

is,

that

people
in

now and then

apt to get rather " too

much

the sun" there.

These impersonals,
fert, it

interest,

it

concerns, and recases,


tua,

concerns,

are joined to

any genitive

except these ablative


sua,
nostra, vestra,

cases

feminine, mea,

and

cuja, as

Interest magistratiis tueri insulsos, animadvertere


in acres.
It

concerns the magistrate to defend the

flats

to

punish the sharps.

These genitive cases


much,
quanti, of

also, are

added,

tanti, of so

how much, magni,

of

much,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


parvi, of
little,

129
soever,

quanticunque, of

how much

tantidem, of just so

much

as

Tanti refert honesta asrere

Of such consequence

is it to

do honest things.

By

this

course

of conduct,

you certainly render


;

yourself worthy of the protection of the magistrate

although whether you thereby constitute yourself a


flat or not, is

perhaps a doubtful question.


Dishonesty,
;

Much
it

may
true,

be said on both sides.

is

may

lead to being taken up

but then honesty

often leads to being taken in.

Yet honesty
is is in

is

said to be the best policy.

Policy

a branch of
the wig.
affairs.

wisdom, and " wisdom" they say "

Certain ivigs are retained at the head

of

by a good deal of policy


could adopt

perhaps the best they

fact that

throws considerable doubt

on the truth of the old maxim.


Impersonal verbs which are put acquisitively,
require a dative case
;

but those which are put

transitively an accusative, as

130

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

For

A rainistris nobis benefit We enjoy blessings from Ministers. instance No We cannot think
cantare

of

any

just at present.

Me juvat
I like to

per lunam errare, et " Isabellam''


:

wander by moonlight, and sing


love and moonlight
is

" Isabelle."

The connexion between


interesting as
it

as

is certain.

We
to
of.

shrewdly suspect

that the said planet has

more

do with the tender

passion than lovers are aAvare

But the preposition ad


these verbs

is

peculiarly atMed to
pertinet,
it

attinet, it belongs,

per-

tains, spectat, it concerns, as

Spectat ad omnes bene vivere


It

concerns

all to live

well

When they can afford it. An accusative case with


these verbs impersonal
it

a genitive

is

put after

poenitet, it repents, taedet,


it

wearies, miseret, miserescit,


it

pities, pudet,

it

shames, piget,

grieves, as

" Nihil
"

me

poenitet hujus nasi"

Trist

Shahd

My

nose has been the making of me."


passive voice

A verb impersonal of the


is to

may
it.

be ele;

gantly taken for each person of both numbers


say,

that

by

virtue of a case added to


stas,

Thus

statur is used for sto,

stat,

stamus.

'

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


statis, stant.
I

131
that
is,

Statur a me;
illis
:

it is

stood

by me,

stand

statur ab

it is

stood

by them,

or they

stand.

King George
is

the Fourth's statue at King's Cross

a standing joke.

Manufaetorj/

I''

132

the comic latin grammar,

The Construction of Participles.


Participles govern the cases of the verbs from

which they are derived, as


Duplices tendens ad sidera palmas,
Talia voce refert

Stretching forth his hands to heaven, he utters

such things.

This reminds us of the Italian opera.

A dative
dus, as
Sollicito

case

is

sometimes added

to participles

of the passive voice, especially

when they end

in

nasus rutilans metuendus amanti est

fiery nose is to

be feared by an anxious lover.


require a

Participles,

when they become nouns,

genitive case, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Vectigalis appetens, lingua? profusus
:

133

Greedy

of rint, lavish of blarney.

Exosus, hating, perosus, utterly hating, perta?sus,

weary

of,

signifying actively, require an accu-

sative case, as

Philosophus exosus ad

philosopher hating

unam mulieres women in general,


:

i. e.

Malthusian.

Exosus, hated, and perosus, hated

to death, sig-

nifying passively, are read with a dative case, as

Comoedi Sanctis exosi sunt

The comedians

are hated

by

the saints.

We
will

mean

the spiritual Quixotes, or Knights of the

Rueful Countenance.

We

" calculate" that they


rail

be the greatest patrons of

roads,

con-

sidering their dislike to the stage.

Natus,

born,

prognatus,

born,

satus,

sprung,

cretus, descended, creatus, produced, ortus, risen,


editus, brought forth, require an ablative case,

and

often v/ith a preposition, as

Tafhus, bonis prognatus parentibus, cerevisiam

baud tenuem de sese existimat


beer of himself.

Taffy, sprung of good parents, thinks no small

De

Britannis Antiquis se jactat cditum

He

boasts of being descended from the Ancient

Britons.

134
Q.
like a

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Why

is

the eldest son of a


?

King

of

England

Leviathan

A. Because he

is

the Prince of Wales.

The Co?<sTRrcTioN of Adverbs.

En

and ecce,
to

adverbs of shoAving, are joined


a nominative case, to an accu-

most commonly

sative case but seldom, as

En Romanus

See the
:

Roman

(q.

rum-un.)

Ecce Corinthium Modern Corinthians, we

Behold the Corinthian.


fear,

know but little Greek,

except that of the ^gidiac, or St. Giles's dialect.

En

and

ecce, adverbs
to

of upbraiding, are joined

most commonly

an accusative case only, as


!

En

togam squamosam
at his scaly toga
!

Look

Ecce caudam

Twig

his tail

,^ (S
r^^-^

'^^.A^^mf"

__

y^//////

iLD

O M ST
"

<C

E L

OC
S-U-.

U.f

NORV.i=

ON

CR'

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Certain adverbs of time,
place,

135

and quantity,

admit a genitive case, as

Ubi gentium

est

Quadra Russelliana
is

Where

in the

world

Russell Square

We

must confess that

this question is exquisitely

absurd.

Nihil tunc temporis amplius


I could

quam
it is

flere

poteram

do nothing more at that time than weep.

Talking of weeping

how

odd

that an affecis

tionate wife should cry

when

her husband

trans-

ported

for life.

Satis eloquentiae, sapientiae

parum
little

Eloquence enough, wisdom


tory as practised

enough.

This quotation applies very forcibly[to domestic ora-

by small boys
for

at the instigation

of their

mamma, Those on whom

the

amusement

of

visitors.

"

little

bird with boothom wed,"

deep in the windingths ofo. whale," or " ray name is Nawval," and the like recitations are inflicted,

have "
all

satis eloquentiae"
;

conscience

pientiae

enough of eloquence, in and we cannot but think that " saparum," " wisdom little enough" is di*^all

played by

the other parties concerned. the cases of the nouns from

Some adverbs admit


Juvenis benevolus

which they are derived, as


sibi inutiliter vivit

The good-natured young man


to

lives unprofitably

himself

M 2

136
Especially

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


if

he have a large

circle of

female ac-

quaintance.

These adverbs of diversity


secus, otherwise
;

aliter,

otherwise, and

and these two, ante, before, and


an ablative case, as
t'other.

post, after, are often joined to

Plure

aliter.

More

Muito
Paulo

ante.
post.

Much

before.

Little behind.
before, are guilty of a great

Those who are much

waste

of time;"
make
it

and those who are


hustle.
to,

little

behind

should

up by a
or

Instar, like
of,

equal

and ergo,

for

the sake

being taken as adverbs, have a genitive case

after

them, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Instar montis

137

equum

divina Paladis arte

-^dificant

By
This

the divine

assistance of Pallas they build a

house as big as a mountain.

may appear

incredible

yet the learned

Mun-

chausenius relates prodigies

much more
:

astonishing.

Mentitur Virgilius leporis ergo


Virgil tells lies for fun.

As may
last,

be sufficiently seen in the example before the


in the sixth

and also

book of the ^neid, passim.

The Construction of Conjunctions.


Conjunctions copulative and disjunctive, couple
like cases,

moods, and tenses, as

Socrates docuit

Xenophontem
et

et

Platonem geo:

graphiam, astronomiam,
Socrates taught

rationem globorum

Xenophon

and Plato geograpliy,

astronomy, and the use of the globes.

Q.

How may

a waterman answer the polite inare you?'" correctly, and desig-

terrogation

"'Who

nate at the same time, an educational institution.

A. By saying A-cad-am-I. The foregoing rule (not riddle)


should be otherwise, as

holds good, unless


it

the reason of a different construction requires

Emi
I

librum centussi et pluris


for

bought a book

a hundred pence, and more,

" lOOd. are 85. 4f/."

Walkinghame. M 3

138

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


conjunction,

The
after

quam, than,
plus, more,

is

often understood
less,

amphus, more,

and minus,
:

as

AmpUus
For

sunt sex menses

There are more than six months.


this interesting piece of information
to

we

are in-

debted

Cicero.

The author

to

whom
if

reference

has just been made, has somewhere,


not,

we

mistake

a similar observation.

In thus ushering the

Tutor's Assistant into notice,


citing a Avork of

we

feel that

which

it is

impossible to

we make

are
too

comical mention.

Thank goodness
months
in a half

there
!

are not

more than

six

year

To WHAT Moods of Verbs certain Adverbs AND Conjunctions do agree.


Ne, an, num, whether put doubtfully
nitely, are joined to a subjunctive

or indefi-

mood, as
:

Nihil refert fecerisne an persuaseris


It

matters nothing whether you have done

it

or

persuaded

to

it

as the school -master said

when he

got hold of the

wrong end of the cane.

Here

it

may

be remarked

First, that the

young
to

gentlemen who play tricks with tallow are likely


get more

whacks than they


be

like

on their
is in

fingers.

Secondly

That a master whose hand


to

Grease
in

cannot be expected

at the

same time

A-merry-key.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

139

Dum,

for

dummodo,

so

that,

and quousque,

until, requires

a subjunctive mood, as

Dum

felix sis,

quid refert

What's
mood, as

the odds, so long as you're happy.

Qui, signifying the cause, requires a subjunctive

Stultus es qui Ovidio credas

You
Ut,
inodo,
for,

are a fool for believing Ovid.


after that,
sicut, as,

postquam
is

and quo;

how,
it

joined to an indicative

mood

but

when

signifies
as,

quanquam, although
final

utpote, for-

asmuch

or

the

cause, to

subjunctive

mood, as

Ut sumus

in

Ponto

ter frigore constitit Ister

Since that

we

are in Pontus the

Danube has

stood frozen three times.

Were
ments
]

skating and sliding classical accomplish-

Ambition,
to

we know,

Romans

tread on slijjpery

them struck out new paths, but

many of the many of ground none (that we have


led
:

Imagine Cato heard of) ever struck out a slide. " coming the cobbler's knock." or Seneca

Te

oro,

domine, ut exeam
sir,

I^lease,

let

me

go out.

Lastly, all words put indefinitely,


these, quis,

such as are

who, quantus, how

great, quotus,

how

many, require a subjunctive mood, as

140

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Cave cui incurras, Mind who you run
inepte
:

against, stupid.

Such may have been

the speech of a

Roman cabman.

very curious specimen of the tessera, or badge,


this description of persons,

worn on the breast by

has lately been discovered at Herculaneum.

the comic latin grammar.

141

The construction of Prepositions.

A preposition being understood, sometimes causes


an ablative case
to

be added, as
loco avunculi
;

Habeo pigneratorem
I

z.

e.

in loco

esteem a pawnbroker in the place of an uncle


that
is,

in loco.

A
the

preposition in composition sometimes governs


it

same case which


Jupiter

also

governed out of compo-

sition, as

Olympo Vulcanum

calce exegit

Jupiter kicked Vulcan out of Olympus.

This was not only an ungentlemanly, but also an

ungodly act on Jupiter's part.


teriori,

Reasoning a pos-

one would think

it

must have been very

unpleasant to Vulcan.
Proeteriit

He

cut

me in Quadrante insalutatum me in the Quadrant.


Avith a,

Verbs compounded

ab,

de,

e,

ex,

in,

sometimes repeat the same

prepositions with their

case out of composition, and that elegantly, as

Abstinuerunt a vino

They abstained from


This properly
It
is

wine.
to the Tiber-totallers.

an allusion

should be remembered that tea

was unknown

in

Rome, except

as the accusative case of a pronoun.

In, for, erga, towards, contra, against, ad, to,

and

supra, above, requires an accusative case, as

142

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Quietum

Accipit in pueros

animum mentemque benignam

He admits

kind thoughts and inclinations towards

the boys.

The master does


Nick
illustriss.

when

he gives them a half ho-

liday or a blow out.


:

Mr. Squeers (vide Nicholas

Boz.) was in the habit of making

much of the young gentlemen intrusted to his care. Sub, when it relates to time, is commonly joined
to

an accusative case, as

Sub idem tempus


tatus est

Isaaculus
time

trans maria depor-

About the

same
seas.

Ikey was
it

transported

beyond the

We say beyond the seas, lest


whether Mr.
I.

should be questioned
as a necessary or

was transported
beyond,

contingent consequence of cheating.

Super,

for, ultra,

is

put with an accusa-

tive case, for de, concerning, with an ablative case, as

Super
Proferet imperium

et

Garamantas

et

Indos

He

will

extend the empire both beyond the

Africans and the Indians.

wide rule expressed

in poetical

measure.
?

Quid de domesticis Peruviorum rebus censeas

What may

be your opinion concerning the do-

mestic economy of the Peruvians]

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Tenus, as far
as,
is

143

joined to an ablative case,

both in the singular and plural number, as


Cervice, auribusque tenus Marius in luto inveniebatur

Marius was found up

to his

neck and ears


lark.

in

mud.
is

What
follows

a lark

or rather a

mud

But tenus
it

joined to a genitive only in the plural, and


its

always

case, as
:

Crurum tenus

up

to the legs.
to

Which
Ascot.

it

is

very necessary

be at

Epsom and

The Construction of Interjections.


Interjections are often put without a case, as

Spem

gregis,

ah

silice in
left

nuda connixa

reliquit

Having yeaned, she


alas!

the hope

of the flock,

upon the bare


to

flint stones.

And

exposed

the 5^ee/y-hearted world, which,

as an Irishman remarked,
for tinder infancy.
least,
It

was a dangerous
to

situation

must have been,

say the

a most uncomfortable berth.


of one exclaiming,
is

O O

joined to a nominative,

accusative, and vocative case, as

lex
!

meum

Oh law Oh my O
! !

O
care

alaudas.
!

Oh
!

larks

Oh
!

Oh
is

dear

We

cannot find out what

Latin

for

oh Crikey

144
Heii
!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


and proh
!

alas

are joined, sometimes to


to

a nominative,

sometimes

an accusative,

and
!

occasionally to a

vocative case, as
!

Heu

bellis

Lack-a-fZcmy.

Heu diem
!

Lack-a-<fay.
!

Proh
Oh,

Clamor

Oh

cry

Proh deos pisciculosque


!

ye gods and

little fishes

Heu

miserande puer
to

Oh, boy,

be pitied

What

boy

is

more

to

be pitied than a junior boy


in Oliver

The Fagin system described


nothing compared
to that

Twist

is

adopted in public schools.

People
effect

may

say what they will of the beneficial


it

which

produces on the minds of those who


it

are subjected to

we contend
is

that to breed a gen-

tleman's son up like a tiger

the readiest

way

to

make a beast of him. Hei and vee alas,


!

are joined to a dative case, as

Hei mihi quod

nullis

amor

est medicabilis herbis

Woe

is

me

that love is curable

by no herbs.
had smoked

Ovid never would have


a cigar or

said that, if he

chewed tobacco.

The
by

ancients beljeved

that love might be excited

certain articles taken

from the vegetable kingdom.


be considered impossible
in a similar

Why

then should

it

to allay the

same
its

feeling

manner.

Every bane has

corresfor

ponding antidote; if so, there


a philter.

may

be physic even

And

for

the pangs which a virgin has

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


inflicted,

145

what remedy could be prescribed more

reasonable than the Virginian

weed

besides, love

generally ends in smoke.

A CURE FOR THE HEARTACHE.

Va3 misero

capiti,

madefacto,

sa?pe

fenestras
tuae
:

Imbribus immundis, Lydia cara,

Woe

to

my

wretched head, often wetted, dear

Lydia, by the unclean showers of your window.

146

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


for introducing
;

This would be a proper place

a few

remarks on the ancient mode of serenading


Av^e

which

are prevented from doing

by

the very imperfect

state of our present information

on

this interesting

point.

It is,

however, pretty generally admitted


took care to provide them-

that the

Romans always

selves

with an umbrella on these occasions, and

this for a reason

which the above


It

distich will
to

have

rendered sufficiently obvious.


so

appears

us that

salutary a precaution

is

well worthy of being

sometimes adopted
this hint

in these

modern days

and with

we

conclude the Syntax.

PROSODY.
All you that bards of note would be,

Must study

well your Prosody.


the sound
is

As Comparative Anatomy teaches what


of a cod-fish
is
;

so

Prosody teaches what

the

sound of syllables.

Sound and quantity mean the same thing

though

how

that fact is to be reconciled with the proverb,


little

" great cry and

wool" we do not know.


to tone

Prosody
ing,

is

divided into three parts, Tone, Breath-

and Time.
to

As
it
;

boys are usually


little

re-

quired

repeat

in

a loud one, without stam-

mering or drawling

and with as

breathing

and time, or breathing-time, as

possible.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

147

We shall leave tone to


forte

tlie

consideration of pianoto doctors

and fiddle-makers

and breathing
it

and chemists, who can analyze


than

a great deal better

we

can.

In this place

we

think proper to treat

only of Time.

Now

of

Time a very
all

great deal

may

be said,
it is

taking the word in


ble of being used.

the senses in which

capa-

In the

first

place,

Time

flies
;

but

this

we have had
Time
is

occasion to observe before

as also that

very great eater.


In the second,

Time

is

a very ill-used personage

he

is

spent, wasted, lost, kicked down,

and

killed

the last as often as an Irishman is

but

for all that

he never complains.
It is

a question whether keeping Time, or losing


the essential characteristic of dancing.

Time,

is

Then we might
forelock

expatiate largely about the value

of Time, and of the propriety of taking

him by the

but for

two reasons.
that all this has been said long
it is

One
ago
;

of

them

is,

the other, that

nothing at

all to

the purpose.

We might also quote extensively


the time

from Dr. Cul;

peper's Herbal, and from Linnaeus and Jussieu

but

we speak

of,

(although
is

we hope
;

it

will

be

twigged by the reader,)


less
it

no plant

neverthe-

is

a necessary ingredient in

grammatical

stuffing.

N 2

148

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,


in

Time

prosody

is

the measure of the pronoun-

cing of a syllable.

Like whist,

it is

divided into

Long and

Short.
:

A long time

is

marked
;

thus, as sumens, taking


pill.

short time thus

as pilula, a

A
loped

foot is the placing together of

two or more

syllables, according to
their time, the

the certain observation of

organ of which should be well deve-

for that purpose.


feet,

Ordinary feet are long


feet,

short feet,

broad

splay

feet,

club feet, and bumble feet, to which

may be added

cloven feet in the case of certain

animals, and an " old gentleman."

There are several kinds of Latin feet;


however,
dactyls.

here,

we
is

shall

only

notice

spondees

and

A
an

spondee

foot of

two

syllables, as infans,

infant.

dactyl

is

foot of three
little

syllables, as angeliis,

an angel, porciilus, a

pig.

Scanning

is

measuring a verse as you are mea-

sured by your tailor


rule.

by

the foot,

according to

To scanning

there belong the figures called

Synaloepha, Ecthlipsis Synseresis, Diaeresis, and


Caesura.

Synaloepha

is

the cutting off a vowel at the end

of a word, before another at the beginning of the

next

as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Occlusis evasi
I
ociills

149
:

nasoqiie cruento

came

off with

my

eyes bunged up and a bloody

nose.

We

have here knocked out an


heu and o are never cut

in evasi,

on the

strength of a synaloepha.
-But
off

at

least

there

are no cases on record in which this operation has

been performed.
Ecthlipsis
is
;

as often as the letter


the next

is

cut off

with

its

vowel

word beginning with a

vowel, as

Monstrum horrendum Informe ingens


vTmiis h5rtis

specta-

We
If

saw a

horrible, ugly,

great monster in the

gardens.

every bear and boar were kept


fine

in

a den

what a

world this would be.


is

Synaeresis
into one,

the

contraction

of two syllables

as in alvearia, pronounced alvaria.

Stravit

humi demens

conferta alvetiria .Juno

Mad

Juno threw the crowded beehives on the


ground.
in a

Hydrophobia occurring
of a dog

queen bee from the bite


to the faculty.

would be an interesting case


is

Diaeresis

the separation of one syllable into


for

two, as evoluisse

evolvisse.

Thus Ovid

says,

alluding probably to the

padding system adopted

by dandies and

theatrical artists.

N 3

150

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Debuerant fusos evoluisse
siios
:

They ought
Caesura
is

to

have unwound

their spindles.

when

after a perfect foot (though not


is

one hke TagHoni's), a short syllable


at the end of a word, as

made

long

Pectoribiis inhians

moUes, en, deserit alas

Intent upon the

breasts

(of the fowls) lo!

he

deserts the tender wings.

Of the Kinds of Verses.


Should any one seek here
for

an account of every
all
it

kind of verse used by the Latin poets,


say
is

we

can

we
to

wish he

may

get

it.

As
it

behoveth

no one
us
to

be wiser than the law. so

behoveth not

be wiser than the Eton Grammar.


are

The verses which boys

commonly taught
feet.

to

make

are hexameters and pentameters.

An

hexameter verse consists of six

As

the
is

ancient heroes were at least six feet high, this

probably the reason Avhy


A-erse.

it

is also called an heroic

The

fifth

foot in this

kind of verse should be a


;

dactyl, the sixth a spondee


either dactyls or spondees
;

the other feet

may be

as
:

ObstantI pluvils venit

cum tegmine Sambo

Sambo came with


The
fifth foot

his Macintosh.

also is

sometimes a spondee, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


Claviger Alcldes,

151

magnum

Jovis incrementum.

Hercules, king of clubs, great offspring of Jupiter.

The

last syllable of
affair.

every verse

is

common

An

elegiac, lack-a-daisical, or pentameter verse,

consists of four feet

and two long

syllables, one

of

Avhich is placed

between the second and

third foot,

and the other at the end of the verse.


first

The two
;

feet

may

be dactyls, spondees, or both

the

two

last are

always dactyls, as
:

Res est infellx, plenaque fraudis amor Love is an unlucky affair, and full of humbug.

We

feel

compelled, notwithstanding what has been

before said, to

make

a few additions to what

is

contained in the Eton


verses.

Grammar

with respect to

The rhyt-hm
by
ciple of the

of Latin verses

may

be easily learned

practising (out of school), exercises on the prin-

examples following

Diim

didle, dl diim, diiin diim, deedledy, dcedle

de, diim

dum

Diim
N. B.

didle, dfim

dum,

de, deedledy, deedledy,

diim.

The

following familiar piece

of poetry

would not have been admitted


readings of

into the

Comic
various

Latin Grammar, but that there being


it,

many

we wished

to transmit the right

one

to posterity.

152

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Patres conscripti
lippi.

took

a boat and went to Phi-

Trumpeter unus erat qui coatum

scarlet habebat,

Stormum surgebat, et boatum overset ebat, Omnes drownerunt, quia swimaway non potuerunt,

Excipe John Periwig


pig-

tied

up

to the tail of

a dead

Here,

also,

this poetical curiosity

may

perhaps

be properly introduced.

Conturbabantur Constantinopolitani,
Innumerabilibus solhcitudinibus.

Of the Quantity of the


There
is

first Syllable.
in
in

a river in

mouth

in like

Macedon and a river manner there are positions

Mondanc-

ing and positions in Prosody.

The following vowels are long by


1.

position.

vowel before two consonants, or before a

double consonant in the same word


fat,

as

pinguis,

Ingens,

great Ajax, the

name

of a hero.

2. vowel coming before one consonant at the end of a word, and another at the beginning of the

next, as

Major sum quam

cui possit tua virga nocere


is

I'm a bigger boy than your rod

able to hurt.
sit,

The
by

syllables jor,

sum, quam, and

are long

position.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


3.

153

Sometimes, but seldom, a short vowel at the


at the

end of a word placed before two consonants


beginning of the next; as

Occulta spolia hi Croceo de Colle ferebant

These persons brought the secret


fron Hill.

spoils

from Saf-

A sliort vowel
is

before a mute, a liquid following,

rendered common, as in the word patris.

Sunt quibus ornatur Jenkins femoralia patris

The breeches

that Jenkins is rigged out in

are

his father's.

A vowel
thy,

before another

is

always

short,

as tua,

memoria, memory.

Except the genitive cases of pronouns in ius, where the i is a common i, although alterius has
always a short
i

and

alius a long

i.

Except, likewise, those genitive and dative cases


of the
fifth

declension
is

where the vowel

e,

like

Punch's nose,
faciei, of

made long between two

i 's,

as

a face.

154

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


also in fio is long, except e

The syllable^
r

and

follow together, as fierem, fieri.

Fient quae " Fieri Facias" mandata vocantur

The writ which


made.
Fi, fa. is

is

called " Fieri Facias" will be

a legal instrument that deprives a poor

man

of his mattress that a rich one

may

lounge on

his ottoman,

Ca. Sa.

is

a similar benevolent con-

trivance for punishing misfortune as felony.

Dius, heavenly,

has

the

first

syllable long
interjection

Diana,

common

and so has the

Ohe

Thus

there's a common medium Between a goddess and an interjection. A vowel before another in Greek words

of connexion,

is

some-

times long, as
Caerula, Plerides, sunt vobis tegmina

crurum

Oh, Muses, your stockings are blue.


Also
in

Greek

possessives,
fuit,

as
:

Somniculosa

pinguisque ^Eneia nutrix


fat.

^neas's nurse was sleepy and

^neas

has often enough been represented in arms.

In Latin mark, that every dipthong


'S as long as

any stage-coach whip-thong;


it

Except before a vowel

goes,

When
Words
same

'tis

as short as Elsler's clothes.

derived from others are tarred with the


is,

stick, that

are assigned the

same quantity
with some

as those which they are derived from,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

155

few exceptions, which we must trouble the student


to fish for.

Compounds
to

follow the quantity of their simple


legis,

words, as from lego


read through.

to read,

comes perlego,

By

the way, reading does not always induce


;

reading through

though we hope

it

may

in the

case of the C. L. G.
If to a preterperfect tense belong

Two only syllables, As veni, vidi, vici, Which Csesar made

the

first is

long

speech so

cool.

to illustrate our rule;

To which we need not cite exceptions small. Look in your Gradus and you'll find them all.
Consult also the Eton Grammar, and works of
the
poets, passim,
to the

as well

for

exceptions
:

to the

above as
1.

two following rules

Words

that double the first syllable of the pre-

terperfect tense

have the

first

syllabic short

as

cecidi from cado, &c.

Fortis Higinbottom cecidit terramque momordit

Brave Higinbottom
2.

fell

and

bit the ground.


first

supine of two syllables has the

syllable

long

As visum latum lotum motum And many more if we could quote


:

'em.

156

the comic latin grammar.

Of the Quantity of the last Syllable.

We have had a poetical


us
for

some time

fit

gradually growing upon

'tis

of no use to resist

so here

goes

Oh

Muse, thine aid

afford to

me,

Inspire

my

Ideality

Thou who,

benign, in days of yore.

Didst heavenly inspiration pour

On

him,

who
to

luckily for us
;

Sang Propria Quae Maribus


Teach me
Prosodial strains in notes of

sound on quiv'ring
fire

lyre,
;

Words' ends

shall be

my theme

sublime,

Now

first

descanted on in rhyme.
little

Come,

boys, attention lend.


:

All words are long in a that end


(In proof of which
I'll

bet a quart,)

Excepting those which must be short

As
Or

puta,

ita,

postea, quia,
;

Eja, and every case in ia


a,

save such as

we must

class

With Grecian vocatives in as, And ablatives of first declension Besides the aforesaid, we may mention
Nouns numeral that end in ginta, Which common, as a bit of flint are.

Some

terminate in
;

h,

d,t\

All these are short

but those in c

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

157

Form

toes

As

long

mean, form ends of as long as Oxford


I

feet

Street.

Though nee and donee every bard Hath written short as Hanway yard,
Fac,
hie,

and hoc are common, though


is

Th' ablative hoe

long you know.

Now
Like
to

" e finita" short are reckon'd,

a jiffey or a second,

Though we must call the Gradus wrong, Or these, of fifth declension, long.

As
In

also particles that

come

mode derivative therefrom. Long second persons singular Of second conjugation are.

And

monosyllables in
for
too,

e.

Take,

example, me,

te, se,

Then,

adverbial adjectives

Are long

as rich old women's lives

If from the second declination

Of adjectives

they've derivation

Pulchre and docte, are the kind

Of adverbs that I have in mind. Ferme is long, and fere also


Bene, and male, not at
Lastly,
Is
all so.

each
all

final eta

Greek,

long on
wit

days of the week

To

(for thus

we

render nempe)

Lethe, Anchise, cete, Tempe.

158

THI2

COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Those words as long we classify

Which

end, like egotists, in


mihi, tibi, sibi
so are ubi, ibi
short,
;

i,

Rememb'ring

Are common,
Nis!
is

always

and quasi's

Short
In
i

also, so are certain cases

Greek vocatives and datives


least if

(At

we may

trust the natives

,)

Making

their genitives in os,

For instance

Phyllis, Phyllidos.

(A name oft utter'd with a sigh,) Whereof the dative ends in i. Words in / ending short are all,
Save
nil for nihil,
sal,

and

sol.

And some
To
In,
cite
;

few Hebrew words t'were well

as Michael, Raphael.
n's are long,

Your

save forsitan

tamen attamen, and an


forsan,

Veruntamen and

which

Are

short as

any

tailor's stitch;

These, therefore,

we
1

except, and then

Contractions " per apocopen"

As

viden'

men'

and audin

so in

Exin' and subin', dein', proi'n.

An, from a nominative Ending a word


is

in

short,

they say.

But every an

for long

must pass
in as.

Derived from nominative

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,


Nouns,
too, in

159

en are short whose

finis

Doth

in the genitive

make

inis.

And

so are n's that do delight in

An

i and y Alexin, Ttyn. Greek words are short I'd have you know,

That end

in

on with

little o,

Common

are terminating

o's.

Cases oblique except from those,


Adverbial adjectives as falso

Are

long,

take

tanto,

quanto

also

Save mutuo,

sedulo, and crebro,

Common as vestment vending Hebrew. Modo and quomodo among


Short
o's

we rank

nor
;

to

be long.

Nor

cito, ego,

duo

no nor
;

Ambo

and

Homo
long.

ever prone are


in o.

But monosyllables

Are counted

Example
to

to

sto.

And

omega, the whole world over,


'tis

'S as long as
If r should

from here

Dover.

chance a word

wind up,

'Tis short in general,

make your mind up


vir,

But

far, lar, nar,

and

and fur
ciir.

Par, compar, impar, dispar,

As long must needs be cited here. With words from Greek that end in
Though 'mong
These two exempted

er

the Latins from this fate are

pater, mater

160

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


final er

Short in the

we

state

em,

Namely,

" auctoritate vatum."


s,

Now,

the Eton

Ends words

in just as

Grammar says. many ways


five

As

there are vowels

as thus

In order, as,

es, is, os, us.

As, in a general

way appears

Long unto

all

but asses ears.

But some Greek words take care to mark as Short, for example Pallas, Areas

And

nouns increasing plural sport

An

as accusative that's short,


in the main's a long
aflfair,

Es

Anchises, such, and patres are.

Though

of the third declension

you

As

short such substantives

must view,

The

genitives of which increase,


es,

Derived from nominatives in

And have an
The

accent short upon

syllable that's last but one.

As

miles, seges, dives, (which

Means what
But pes
Like
to
is

a Poet

is n't,)

rich

long, with bipes, tripes,

a hermit munching dry pease.

To

these add Ceres, Saturn's cub,


of a goddess,

(Name
The

and

for

grub

figure

Metonymy

through,)

And

aries, abies, paries, too.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

161

Sum
Are

with

its

compounds forming

es,

short, join penes, if

you

please,

Item Cyclopes Naiades.

1
plural neuters.

Greek nominatives and


For
lists

of which consult your tutors.


call short, as Paris, tristis,

Is,

we
all

Save

such words as mensis,


is,

istis.

Plurals oblique that end in

Adding

thereto for quibus quis.

The

is in

Samnis long by
its genitive's

right is

Because

Samnltis.

Where you

observe a lengthened state

Of syllable penultimate. The same to all such words

applies,
eis,

And

Is

contracted,

meaning

Long too, and pray remember this Are monosyllables in is. Save is the nominative pronoun,

And

quis,

and

bis,

which
is

last is

no noun.

When
But

verbs by

concluded are.
;

In second person singular


in the plural His
is is long,

make,

The

and no mistake

Provided always that the peNultimatc plural long shall be.


Os, saving compos, impos, os
Is long

as honos dominos.

162

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.


's

The Greek omicron

short,

and that

in

All conscience must be so in Latin.

Words

should be short in us,

unless

Authority has laid a stress

On the penultimate of any Word that increases in the


Tive case

geni-

when

us

is

long, the

same

Pronunciation nouns

may

claim

Declined like gradiis or like manus

Though here exceptions

still

detain us.

The

first

case and the


;

fifth

are those

Singular

short as

monkey's nose.
and
iis,

Long

are mus,

criis,

thiis

and

siis

All monosyllables in

And

Grecian nouns by diphthong ous,

Translated us by
Lastly,
all

men
in

o^nous.

words

u are

long,

And

so

we end

our classic song.

And not our song only, but our work


of our solitude

the companion

the object
for

of our cares

for

which

alone
oil
;

we

live,

which we consumed our midnight


that,

and not only

but also burnt a great deal of


say,
is

daylight.
it is

Our work, we
it

ended

and such as

we commit
iii,

to the world.

Horace says Carm.

Lib.

Ode

XXX.

(an ode which

association of ideas, is always connected in our

by some strange mind


ale,)

with the visionary image of a jug of

" Exegi

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

163

monumentum sereperennius," I have perfected a work more durable than brass. Whether our production
is

characterized by the durability of that metal or

not, is a question

which we leave

to the decision of

posterity

we

cannot, however, help thinking that,


it

considering the boldness of our attempt,


figuratively at least, something in

possesses
the

common with
fain

substance

in

question

and

we would

hope
"

that that something does not consist in hardness.

And now
many

farewell to the reader

word that must be and hath been'' times when once would have been quite

a said a great
farewell,

sufficient.

We

need

not, therefore,

repeat

it

nor

need we say how much we hope that we have

amused, instructed him, and so

forth

that being as

much an understood thing to put at book, as " Love to papa, mamma,


sisters," in

the end of a

brothers and

a holiday

letter.

Nothing, then, remains


kick up our hat and cry

for

us

now

to do,

but

to

" ALL OVER."

FINIS

LIST OF ETCHINGS.
1

Vocative case (schoolmaster spatting a boy)

to face

page
' "'
'

2.

2.
'^.

Schoolmaster beating a drum , and boys singing in chr ''

Ingenuas pugni didicisse

fideliter artes (fight)

4.

Prometheus Vinctus (vagabond

in the stocks)

72
74
135 144

5. 6. 7.
8.

SmeUirig a Pig (boys at supper in the bed room)

Domestic Oratory (small boy spouting in a chair)

Heu miserande Puer (boy


Patres conscripti

tossed in a blanket).

152

COE, PRINTER, 27, OLD CHANGE, ST. rAi/i

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