MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS

Emotions are a complex, strong subjective response as love or fear. Such response involve physiological changes as a preparation for action. It can also be a state of agitation or disturbance. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling or sensibility. According to Viktor Frankl, everything can be taken from a man but the last of human freedoms which is the ability to choose ones attitude in a given set of circumstances i.e to choose ones way. This implies that human beings naturally react to different situations differently without following a definite pattern. A lot of people react emotionally to situations, allowing their feelings control them instead of the other way round. There are positive and negative emotions. Have you ever wondered why somebody shouts unnecessarily, isolates his or herself, how about when somebody you didnt offend suddenly picks up a quarrel with you over what is not or why little issues or a simple tease gets a person boiling? Negative emotions are at play. Some people react worse to stressful &unpleasant situations. Bridget started yelling at her secretary unnecessarily when she learnt she had to work extra hours, Tonis uncle snapped unnecessarily at her when she lost her mother because she couldnt stop crying. Frustration, worry or nervousness, anxiety, anger, disappointment, dislike, sadness, self pity, discouragement are some other negative emotions experienced to mention a few. This emotions need to be managed, the ability to choose your reactions to bad situations and to manage your emotions makes you a better and a wiser person. I guess someone might say but this is me , this is how I feel when faced with certain situations, I am just human, I am not perfect there is nothing I can do about it..... absolutely wrong! ever heard of the Batari box also known as the CIRCLE OF CONFLICT? The circle of conflict explains how your attitude affects others. Moreover if you emit waves of hostility or carry around you a air of negativity that is what you will definitely get in return because that is what you will attract. CIRCLE OF CONFLICT My attitude affects

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How then can you become better at handling your emotions and choosing your reactions to bad situations? First of all, you must realise that things will never go the way you plan it, this helps you to handle disappointment and discouragement. If things were to go the way you plan it then like somebody once said life could be a straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs and it is the hills and valleys that often make life interesting.

Also in every situation you find yourself stop to look at the situation and why you got into it. If you are frustrated, you feel helpless, stuck and unable to do anything about the situation still ask yourself why am I frustrated? write down how you feel and be specific Think of one positive thing about your current situation, you always have the power to change your situation, all you need do is see things from a different angle. Even when you think you are deliberately being annoyed or you dislike a person for how they act dont get mad, just move on. Always have it in mind that negative emotions will never change a thing , if you worry too much it leads to more worry. Anger could lead to permanent damage, stop it before it degenerates into something big. A therapist once said when you are very angry count 1-10 and take in deep breaths to calm down. If someone keeps frustrating you by their actions, or when you dislike someone because of their attitude, be humble and assertive. Set aside your pride/ego, treat the person with respect and courtesy. Just because someone else behave absurd doesnt mean you should too. Always open up, be assertive let the other person know he is doing what is not right. Most people dont need strategies for managing their positive emotions, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion or optimism usually dont affect others in a negative way as long as you share this emotions constructively and wisely.