Please read my story. In the year 2000, I was living in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

I was working full time and only had a few symptoms such as pain in my right thumb that indicated something was wrong. Through a MRI, I found out that I had a tumor in my spinal cord. After seeing my neurosurgeon for the very first time, he recommended surgery as it was easier to recover while I was young. Based on his recommendation, I had my first operation to remove the tumor in October of 2000. After the surgery, the surgeon told me the operation was very successful as he had removed 85% of the tumor, which was found to be a benign slow growing ependymoma. This 85% figure is also contained in all my medical reports. Several months later, the first neurosurgeon left the province and I was referred to another neurosurgeon. For 5 years after my first surgery, I had a MRI every year and I was told by doctors that everything looked good. However, after my first operation, I was never the same. Immediately I lost some fine movements in my left hand, and developed a spastic gait in my walk. My first neurosurgeon told me that I would fully recover after the operation, but I never did. As a result, I was only able to work part time. In 2005, I fell at home and was admitted to emergency. I was subsequently admitted to a rehabilitation center for recovery. I was able to walk with a walker and was planning to return to my home. While I was planning to return home, my second neurosurgeon told me that I required a second operation. He told me that my first neurosurgeon was at the beginning of his career when he performed my operation and was not able to remove my tumor. This was why my MRIs showed no changes after surgery. He further advised me that he was a very experienced surgeon and that he had done a lot of these operations. He said that he was able to do what the first neurosurgeon was not able to. He told me that according to his practice, I had a 70% chance of being the same as before the operation he was to perform but stable, and a 30% chance to be better than before the operation. Before the operation, I told to my second neurosurgeon that my main concern was becoming disabled. I specifically told him that I would rather die from the tumor than become disabled. He assured me that everything would be fine. As a result, I agreed to the operation. I signed a consent form on the way to the second operation after I was sedated and did not understand what I was signing. I could not read the form. Later, after the operation, when I read the consent form I was surprised to find out that the operation was presented very differently from what was explained to me by the second neurosurgeon. I felt as if he 'sold' me the operation. In my view, this form should have been signed in advance, before the operation, complete with all relevant statistical information. Otherwise, as in my case, this form does not represent true consent. The second neurosurgeon told me that the operation was successful, and that he removed

the whole tumor and that I would fully recover. However, I became a quadriplegic as a result of the operation. After the operation I was transferred to a rehabilitation center. For five months after the operation the second neurosurgeon was telling me that the operation was successful and I would completely recover. At the end of March, he came to see me, but instead told me that I would never recover. As a result of this advice, I became very depressed, as I had always been told that I would recover. I told the doctors that I wanted to die, that I wouldn't eat or drink, and I asked them to give me high doses of narcotics to speed up my death. The doctors told me that this was the right decision to make and I was advised to take code 0, which I did. Immediately after this I started to receive high doses of narcotics, what doctors called 'palliative care'. I didnt eat and almost didnt drink for 3 weeks. My dose of IV hydromorphone was increased to the point that I started to experience impaired swallowing, excessive secretion, suffocation, chocking, lethargy, confusion, and frightening visual and hearing hallucinations. I did not recognize people. When I was very close to death, suddenly I realized that I became a quadriplegic because of the doctors, and that I was pushed to a suicide attempt by doctors via their denial and misrepresentation of my case. Now they were brutally killing me with high doses of narcotics causing suffocation among other symptoms. I decided that I no longer wanted to choose death and instead try to find the answers to my questions. When I decided not to die I told the doctors that I refused to be on code 0 and demanded them to stop my 'analgesic medications' immediately. The doctors tried to persuade me not to stop the narcotics and gave me no help in restoring my breathing and swallowing. Solely because I stopped taking narcotics, my swallowing and breathing problems slowly resolved. After this I asked the second neurosurgeon to come and see me, and explain to me the truth about what had happened. He agreed. During this meeting, he did not show me any MRIs as I requested, and for every question I asked of him his answer was that he did not know. When I asked other doctors to show and explain my MRIs, each replied that only my neurosurgeon could do that for me. All doctors presented me as a patient who became quadriplegic due to a tumor. However, I do not accept this conclusion. I was walking and was able to use my hands before the surgery and not able to do neither after the surgery. I have to ask how a tumor can do this to me in a matter of hours. Before the second surgery, my hands were functional and I was going home. Now, I require 24-hour care. All the doctors that I asked in Halifax have refused to explain anything to me, saying that only myneurosurgeon could explain what has happened to me. They refuse to answer my questions, and to show and explain MRI reports. I felt as if I was left without a doctor that I can trust and I have been pushed away without answers. I had no choice but to leave the province. I discharged myself from the hospital and I

asked my friend to put me on a plane and send me from Halifax to Vancouver, which he did. From the airport in Vancouver, I went to the emergency room at the Vancouver General Hospital. Later I was placed in the nursing home. After more than a year in the nursing home, I was able to get out and live in the community on a special program for disabled people. Only in Vancouver I was able to receive my medical records. After complaining to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia, I received some answers from doctors, but they didn't satisfy me. First of all I found out that I can't ask questions or file a complaint against my first neurosurgeon. The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia refused to accept my complaint because: my first neurosurgeon relocated from Nova Scotia to Alberta. He no longer holds a license in Nova Scotia and is currently working in the province of Alberta. The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Alberta refused to consider my complaint because it was related to his practice in Nova Scotia. Both Colleges refused to deal with my complaint, thereby making it possible for the doctor to get away with a gross case of malpractice. I was shocked to learn that my post operation report from my first operation stated that the majority of the enhancing tissue remains. This information was relayed to me by two neurosurgeons as that a large proportion of the tumor was removed. No doctor ever told the truth about my MRI reports and my operations. There is a big difference in knowing that, some residual tumor remains as I was told by doctors, from the MRI record saying that the majority of the enhancing tissue remains. Once in Vancouver I learned that Code 0 meant No Code = No Care, passive euthenasia or Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR). This meant that no lifesaving measures would be taken by the health-care personal. Prescribing high doses of narcotics is called palliative care. Palliative care by definition is relieving and preventing the suffering of patients. In my letters to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia, I asked the doctors why they would prescribe high doses of narcotics to a severely depressed patient. My doctor in the Rehabilitation Center at the time, answered that when I expressed a desire to die before starting palliative care I was assessed by psychiatrist and was "found to be competent and not depressed." When I asked the psychiatrist why a patient who is expressing a desire to die is not considered depressed, he wrote that I was suffering essentially from an adjustment disorder with depressed mood arising from a severe and distressing loss of function. I wonder if that means that only major depression is considered to be a contraindication to start palliative care. It could also mean that the decision by a patient with a diagnoses of "adjustment disorder with depressed mood, not depression, to die is the right decision to make and that's why the doctors are willing to help. I was not old or terminally ill, severe depression was the main contributing factor in my desire to die. All my questions to my palliative care doctor in April 2006, when I was in Rehabilitation Centre remain unanswered. If he has forgotten my case he can read about my sufferings from his 'palliative care' in nursing notes and progress notes from the beginning of April

2006. With these appropriately provided analgesic medications I achieved a comfort level, which I know as impaired swallowing, excessive secretion, suffocation, chocking, lethargy, confusion, and frightening visual and hearing hallucinations. Antiemetic medications were not effective any more. Why do doctors consider this to be maintaining her comfort level? Why did doctors continue to increase my dose of narcotics even when I started to have swallowing problems, suffocation and choking? Writing in my progress notes by a palliative care nurse indicated that medications may be impairing swallowing. Even with this observation my dose of narcotics continued to increase. I was severely depressed and on code 0 which means no suction even if choking. What comfort level were the doctors trying to achieve? Death from choking on vomit? Who is responsible for the suffering of severely depressed patients leading to brutal death from suffocation and choking? In the palliative care nursing notes from April 4, 2006 I read: When is it appropriate to ask Olga if she would like terminal sedation? My question is why is it allowed to offer terminal sedation to a severely depressed patient who is under effect of narcotics? I received no answer. Why did palliative care put me into extreme suffering from suffocation and choking and why was it later decided to give me terminal sedation? To make death look more natural? Why is this brutal killing called palliative care? Is administering terminal sedation a common medical practice in palliative care? If it was "maintenance of my comfort level," as doctors call it, and not a brutal killing, why was I able to restore my breathing and swallowing after I insisted on stopping narcotic medications? The psychiatrist also visited me several times during my "palliative care" and wrote in my Progress notes that I was experiencing confusion and hallucinations. I asked him :What was the purpose of his visit? Why did he abandon a severely depressed patient on high doses of narcotics on a no code status who was not competent to make decisions any more? Why did he leave me to die from choking and suffocation on high doses of narcotics? In his letter to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia he did not deny that the symptoms I was experiencing were side effects of the high doses of narcotics. But instead reducing the dose of narcotics my dose was constantly increased. Instead of answering my questions he wrote to me that I should be thankful of him because he did not give me ECT without my cooperation and did not put obstacles in my way later that would have prevented me from discharging myself from the hospital and relocating to another province. ECT means Electroconvulsive therapy, also known as electroshock. The Investigation by the Department of the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia dismissed all my complaints. My questions and concerns were left unanswered. The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Nova Scotia told me that everything in my case had been done in accordance with the medical standards of practice and ethics. This decision made me even more worried. I wrote letters containing my story to the Minster of Health of Nova Scotia and to the Minister of Health of Canada.

In response to my letter of concern, the Minister's offices answered me, "that the role of the Departments of Health is to improve services for patients and not to investigate patients complaints." They both referred me only back to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of NS. I wonder how it is possible to improve services for patients without feedback from the public? I can't seek independent legal counsel, because, through no fault of mine, I exceeded the time frame (2 years only) during which it would have been possible. My two operations were presented to me and in my medical records as very successful. But during my first operation according to my MRI records the tumor was not removed and I was left with severely compromised cord. My second operation left me quadriplegic. Now I am power wheelchair dependent, I require the use of a mechanical lift for transfers and I am dependent on nursing staff for all repositioning and transfers as well as upper extremity tasks. The results of these operations were not used even to help doctors learn on their mistakes. The results of operations were hidden and presented as very successful. My doctors never accepted their medical mistakes. By hiding medical mistakes doctors can't learn from them. As a result of this, not only do patients suffer but it harms the entire medical science. Medical statistics are based on medical records that are some times, as in my case, not true. Code 0 in combination with high doses of narcotics will lead to death from respiratory paralysis. In my opinion, this method of executing death can not be even called passive euthenasia. I see this as a medical homicide and total disregard for human life. In my case many doctors and other health-care personals participated in or witnessed this. It shows that our medical schools train health-care personal to bear evil with indifference. If the public succumb to evils as well, we will have ECT in our hospitals without patients cooperation and terminal sedation on a regular bases. The main law of medicine - don't harm, sometimes is not applied. My only hope now is to make health care less dangerous for patients through a public discussion of my case.