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Brandi Kiker Prof. Presnell Engl. 1103 25 Sept. 2012

The Sister I Never Knew

I was four years old sitting on the front porch with my mom, Barbara. It was during the fall around 3:30 p.m., as the elementary school kids were getting off the bus and I saw two girls, I knew they were sisters, walk off the bus before my older brother, Brent. Seeing those two girls made me think about having a sister. I asked, Why dont I have a sister, Mommy? You do but you wont understand, my mom replied. I continued to ask, Then where is she, why cant she be here with us? My mom was silent for a while, contemplating whether to tell me about my sister. I was only four years old but I figured I would understand because I understood some things better than most six year olds did. We both sat there in silence as we waited for my brother to climb the driveway. As my brother reached the porch, he screamed with excitement, Look what I drew at school today! He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, once he finished unfolding it I could make out the picture to tell that it was supposed to be a picture of our family. All of us were there, my mom with her long brown hair and glasses, my dad with a little bit of a belly and

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some kind of tool in his hand, a boy with a hat on, a baby with a rattle, even our black dog Grizz was in the picture. Now that I knew I had a sister, I said, But Dent where is our sister? He replied, Brandi we dont have a sister! I shouted back at him, Oh yes we do! As we argued over if we had a sister, my moms big blue eyes drooped and began to fill with tears behind, her large framed glasses. My mom then felt obligated to tell us the truth. She ended the argument with, Stop it you two, yall do have a sister but we need to go inside, it is getting cold out here!

My mom opened the screen door to let us inside the house and my body began to fill with excitement because I was about to learn about my sister. I guess my mom figured that the trip from the front porch to the inside of the house would make my brother and I forget about our conversation. My mom made her way into the kitchen and left us behind in the living room. She instantly changed the conversation when she asked, Would yall rather have macaroni and cheese for your snack or just some crackers? I didnt reply and neither did my brother, we were both busy whispering about our sister. My mom walked into the living room and she heard my brother telling me, You know Brandi some people do just lie. Of course, I already knew that people lie all the time because he always tried to lie and blame what he had done on me. This was my mom; I could never imagine my mom lying to me about anything! My moms big blue eyes began to droop again but this time tears actually began

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to fall down her face. She knew she had to explain to us what had happened whether we would understand it or not. She sat next to my brother and me on the couch and began telling the story of our sister. I have learned many more details as I got older and as of now, this is how I know the story of my sister.

It all began when my mom and dad had decided they wanted to add onto their family of two and began to try to have a baby. Little did my mom know it would happen sooner than she expected, well at least she thought. One morning she didnt feel too great, she thought maybe it was morning sickness, but she had to leave for work anyway. Once she got to work, she had to go to the bathroom and found out that she was on her period; she wasnt pregnant like she had hoped. Throughout the day, she felt sick on her stomach but she just thought it was normal cramps but then she started to bleed, A LOT! She had to call my dad to come pick her up from work to take her to the hospital. Once she got to the hospital they took her right back to the emergency room because they knew what was happening, but she still didnt. The doctors did some tests to make sure what they had thought was the right diagnoses, and it was. My mom had had a miscarriage with two twin boys. She was upset because she didnt even know she was pregnant but had wanted a family, but now she did know if she did or not. My mom prayed and prayed for weeks after the miscarriage because she didnt know where to go from there. Even though my mom did trust that she would have more kids, she still wanted to wait a little while. About a year and a half after her miscarriage, she began to try to have kids again.

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On June 28, 1988, my mom had a beautiful little girl who would end up changing my moms life and her perspective on things. My sister, Shanna, was a very cute little baby with long, thick, black hair, olive tone skin, and long fingers and toes. My mom couldnt wait to take her home from the hospital. A few weeks after my big sister and mom had been home from the hospital my mom noticed something weird, my sisters lips had been turning blue off and on. One day my mom rushed my sister to the hospital because she was gasping for air. By this time, my mom did not view the hospital as a happy place, and that feeling would continue. After the doctors ran all the tests on my sister, they diagnosed her with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (the arteries of her heart and the veins of her heart were switched). The doctors admitted her to Intensive Care; my mom stayed with her every minute. A few weeks went by with my sister in Intensive Care, until the doctors decided to operate on her heart. My sister died in surgery, at one month old, because her heart was not strong enough to take the intense surgery. The doctors were devastated that they had to go out to the waiting room to tell my mom the bad news. My mom was completely crushed once she heard that her third child, and first daughter has passed away but the doctors had told mom one thing that I am sure she will never absolutely forget; as my sister was passing away, the doctors swore they slightly heard my sister whisper mommy with her last breath. My dad at this point was outraged and didnt know what to do; he got so angry, he blamed himself for my sister dying and threw a chair against the wall at the hospital. The security had to come to settle him down.

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After my sister passed away, my mom was almost sure that she did not want to go through the trouble of trying to have another kid and just end up being disappointed. She didnt want to get hurt again but she was motivated to have a family. She could tell that God was with her because she felt his spirit around her and tell her that it would be okay and that she would have two more kids. She strongly trusted in God and had my brother four years after my sister passed away and I came along a whole six years after my sister.

My brother and I sat in silence as she finished telling us what she could. I had so many more questions but I couldnt bring myself to ask them. As I grew older and began to ask more questions, I understood more about the situation. It has made me view my mom as a strong woman that I would like to grow up to be like one day.