Dear Yad, Im not sure how I will get this too you , or what this will be , for now

it's a letter to you. For reference it's the 11 of October in the year of 2011. As we know time is even more an issue that it always is. Were to the time when we have to make the decisions that will directly affect us . As I've said before even if we choose to do nothing , that is a course of action. At this point were still lucky enough to have options, but it's getting late on making plans. It's also a good time to consider our strengths and weaknesses , and our desires in life. There is still time to live like we have always wanted, yet the future is now upon us as well. Whatever way we go, and that includes if we decide to do nothing its time to take those paths. I have many issues to resolve , before I am ready, yet I know they are mostly things that will work out anyway. While there is 14 months left till the big day whatever is happening is already well on its way. Whatever is still up for debate , what we are preparing for is still very cloudy, What is known is that it will soon be 2012 and its hard to think of any scenario for it where our lives will ever be the same again. For the most part I see this as a good thing. Life is a constant change , yet its the large scale big events that get the attention. Everyday I see change and the fear of change, with the fear of change being used to institute the changes, they really wanted to make anyway. A good example is government, and it no longer matters which one , because they are all owned by corporations owned by banks owned by elitist who are owned by the lizards. They use the fear of every stupid thing we the people will believe. Like the stock market and the banksters, we cling to them from fear ,because its the only system we have known. Just as I cling to the life I have here, because of the fear of a new life without the safety net I have of being around friends and family, Customers, and a language , that everyone speaks. I'm even tied to the land and the weather. I not only live here I'm from here, and this is one of the few places that still matters. People ask me if I think I'm a starchild with a good argument that if I am an eternal soul I was , before there was a planet. I still think that I have been here long enough to call myself an earthchild which I do. I also have some pretty wild theories on this area, to keep it pertinent is this is one of the planet's centers. It could be called a shockra, but I believe there is an importance to this area beyond geography. It also has a thousand questions that nobody even seems to ask. A smart fellow with an open mind could find material for some very interesting reading, if he had time. Even some really good modern questions, like why is it so packed with ptb? While the big boys never come here , there are world headquarters for some of the most evil lizard slaves on the planet. Once upon a time transportation and distribution meant there was a benefit to our central location. Thanks to the jet age you can pretty much get anywhere from anywhere , but from the city and area you literally can get anywhere from here. On either side there's two land masses, plus a straight shot to either border. Then there's a river that leads to the gulf where you either go left and its Atlantic ocean or cross the Peninsula and your on the Pacific. People from all over the world immigrate here, we have a Bosnian section of town, along with the hill which is the Italian section. Used to be , in another words were not the rednecks were portrayed as. Not quite anyway, we are country though in fifteen minutes I can be surrounded by corn., or sitting on the river bank. There's even a theory that the Chinese had a section here over a thousand years ago. The more I write the more it seems like I'm selling you on the place doesn't it. If so let me throw in the buyer bewares. The three things that will be the doom of here, the Reelfoot fault complex, the nuclear, and chemical plants, and of course the lizards with their police force. Day in and day out you can find five predictions for immanent doom from the New Madrid fault. It becomes almost sickening but I can tolerate it after all it is a huge fault and will go off. And when it goes off the damage will include our rickety old nuclear power plant called Callaway. The earthquake causes the plant to fail, it is the most obvious doom that awaits this area. I can add a few more details ,

how if we survive the quake and the nuke plant doesnt go off we would still be trapped in the area do the geography , mostly the bridges that are the only way out,. They plan on keeping us locked into the area by controlling the exits. Just shut down the river bridges and control the one remaining road out of town. I think the doomsters believe they will turn the area into one giant FEMA camp. I of course know the ways around this , and it lessens my fear. Then again I know of plenty of other deaths awaiting the area. Such as the Union carbide plant , along with I'm sure a few hundred other toxic sites , full of tanks , full of poisons, ready to crack and release, wiping out at least sections of the town. These are enough reasons that the area isn't safe , yet as much as I research I find few places actually are. As we know Islands are out no matter what happens, unless we just want to get it over quickly and go out more or less in brief happiness. In ways I can see this depending on the doom that awaits it might be the easiest way. We know that a few of the events could be very nasty, I'm thinking solar as maybe the worst. You know I'm not a biblical person but there are two bible verses that explain perfectly what we will see. The first one is from the Apocrapha and it goes something like Not a blade of grass will be left unscorched , even the dirt will be burned. And my all time favorite verse from Ecclesiastics, one of the books that should have been lost . There will be a time when luckier is he in the grave than he still alive, and luckier still is they that were never born. If this is what we are looking at unless you have a seat in a dumb the only thing that matters now is how we spend the time we have left. Of course in the big picture thats all that matters anyway. Cant hide from fate. At least I dont believe that I can. However we also can't know our fate until it happens. I prefer to not go gentle into that good night. Not that I have fear of death I don't mostly because it's inevitable. I do have fears plenty to make up for the lack of that one. Since we are talking about me now let me tell you somethings about me , most you already know I'm sure. To put it simple I may be what theyd call a strange bird. Like yourself I've always felt that I was on a different path, or have my own flight to make. While I've never complained about being a strange bird , It has kept me kind of alone most of my life, I guess I've always been searching for another bird like me, My mate I guess, My other half, as the Hindu say. Of course I'm not a virgin, I have had a fair share of relationships, but I always knew that they were temporary, most of the time I could even predict the time the relationship would last. Kind of frustrating but if you are going to look into the future you have to be prepared for what you will see. Last word on the subject would be doom an gloom. I'm not in a good place to start another temporary relation. As far as it goes I'm probably better off without it. What I feel I need now is that someone who can help me take us to another level, as in fulfill the crazy destiny that is our future. I trust that I was chosen because I can do the job, thats why I'm here. I've said this about a few thousand times when asked on a job about my prior experience. People want to get all happy when I tell them I have been doing the job for over twenty years, so I have to ground them , I tell them yes I've been doing it for that long but the only thing that matters is how I do today, on your job. Every job Is the only one that matters. Of course these are the same people who when I'm done ask me how it went , and I tell them I did the very best I could, usually they then ask what went wrong. Sadly usually there is something that keeps it from being perfect, as perfect is such an unrealistic goal, yet the only one to have. I say I always do my best and hope it's good enough. Thats my plan on enlightenment I'll do the best I can , and hope its good enough. Trouble is it's easy to say you did your best , but inside we almost always think we could do better. Like in dejavu by doing something over and over you keep finding ways to improve. To be honest the whole thing makes me laugh mostly do to the absurdity of me even thinking I know or ever will know. What makes it even funnier is if I actually do know This is what it's all about?

Its fortunate that laughter is a pain killer. When given the choice laugh or cry, isnt laughter the logical choice? Plus the whole world reeks of a bizarre humor. Not funny like it was when we were kids, more like a joke being played out for some greater powers amusement. Like a Greek comedy where the requirement is a somewhat happy ending, for at least somebody. A lot of the times this worked out to be for the amusements of the gods. To make it more similar in the Greek plays the actors wore masks representing the characters, meaning it wasn't the actor that really mattered it was the role they played. As long as you hit the mark and say your lines your job is done. As we say easy breezy. Not that it's the big easy here, that's down the river, plus I think its really a Greek Tragedy that is only funny because of the strangeness with the way things are playing out. You know this stuff as well as I so I'll lay off the descriptions for now. I can tell you what I would see as a personal goal for any future, a little spot of land to live from. I also see the need for my tribe as well as inner family. I think this is what we have been talking about, I really want you to be part of my tribe. It would be hard to ask for more seeing as we are perfectly strangers. While I've thought that the distances make it impossible, as a White dog in development I'm learning to trust my feelings, or really the all knowing part of being enlightened. My first thoughts are on your protection, I will feel better when you feel safer. My WD also tells me that I have things to learn from you. As you have probably noticed ever since I read what I wanted out of my Mayascope I have changed. Really the beginning of change, plus we always change it's a law of the universe. So no big deals , but three things I feel like I am working on or practicing are trust, inner light,and of course inner peace. Trust is a kinda funny thing, for instance a day ago I was working on the top of a ladder, and had to make a stretch to reach an area. I thought I'm protected because Of the white dog and reached out tipping the ladder over causing me to fall, no big deal once you fall it's really all in the landing. But here I landed on my ladder , it hurt, so I'm not quite as protected as I seem to think I am. I think the real test will be if my fingers are broke or just jammed up, I'm hoping jammed as I am using them now to type this letter. It should teach me a lesson that I am vincible. Because I have been wondering, pretty much my whole life. I've done some pretty stupid things to test my theory that I was fated to die one way, and it is the only thing that can kill me, In a way since it isn't my fate I'm bulletproof., in that I don't get shot or at least not fatally, unless by saying it too much someone tests me on it. Knowing this should make me brave, a quality that will be helpful as long as it isn't guided by blind stupidity. So I work on being brave by trusting in myself and the will of the gods. Then there's the inner light thing I basically try to exude a positive energy, my goal is to spread a little happiness. As we both know this is not the time to wake people up, it's too late for that and I think it might prove to do more harm than good. This is however the perfect time to give positive emotion, the harder it is the more we need it. In my Maya scope it said I needed to work on my unconditional love, and I do. With our distance and friendship you are an easy target because as I see it unconditional means the giving up love and expecting nothing for it. Giving is the main benefit, then learning that the love we give doesn't run out, its an emotion therefore infinite. I unconditionally love the hell out of you. Almost because I feel closer to you than the things I unconditionally love as a rule. Such as my love for nature. I love the complexity of life, as well as it's beauty. I've never met a butterfly I didn't love. Trouble is everything in nature aren't butterflies. Same with human nature its quite easy to love the ones that don't bug you. For them It takes tolerance before love, as I like to say If you don't bother me, it wont bother me. then there are the things in my way If I can avoid them they are merely obstacles in my path . Only to be thought of as I take the appropriate action to avoid them. No emotion at all do I give them, and the only memory of them is the step I took around or over them. That just leaves the ones who try to block my path, or send me on another , against my will , and not for my greater good,.

Dealing with the evil takes a special touch, and even for a pacifist it's hard to let go of the idea of returning the evil back at them. I guess I've talked about this before , but how do you destroy evil without becoming it. How do you oppose hate without using it yourself. I guess that is one of the pivot points to the future which is stronger love or hate. Love has a big disadvantage, it's the rules , love requires you to act in a better way , following the do unto others bit, where hate and evil has no boundaries only repercussions. Win or lose the only choice for us is to pick love and good , if you choose hate and evil you've already lost, or in the least become part of a now bigger problem. I like the thought of being an underdog, an under White dog I guess, this confrontation could be why we are here, I know enough already to know that I don't fear the evil. It's only hard for me to not hate the hate. Which brings me back to us, if we can be happy despite them, it decreases their power. The power, for although hate as in love is just a complex emotion, it needs to be fed. If we can spite them by not feeding or needing them we will have claimed a victory for the good side. By us hooking up, me to protect you and you to teach and complete me it would feed the light. It would only be the beginning of course I want us to be part of a tribe, built on the same principle. People being useful for each other. Crazy as this letter is I am going to post it somewhere to be read, and this is my invitation to go tribal with me. If you cant get to me then use the force of unconditional love and reach out to those you can get to. Love thy neighbor and make a gesture even if its just that when the defecation hits the oscillator you will look out for each other. If you have friends left, just offer to help them when and if they are in need. Then there's family, you have to think about protecting them even if they dont want it. Mostly they don't. As I said it's not the time to stand on the corner with the sign saying The End is Near quit dooming everywhere you go, I know it's hard I love gloom and doom, I'm a Scorpio, I guess. Spread positive energy and people will be drawn to you, I didn't make that up it was part of the deal when I became a white underdog,. The point I was making is if you cant get your dream tribe, make one out of what you can get. Remember that 99 % of the people want the same thing as you do. I US WE, I think there is more power in that than we will ever imagine. From the Hindu and Hebrew they give us a hint of that power , a power man once had that rivaled the gods, in Hindu it's the legend that once we were two headed critters that rolled when we moved. The gods were afraid of two headed , two brained, four armed rolling humans , so to slow us down they cut us in half. Now we spend most of our lives walking around looking for our other half. In Hebrew it's the old Tower of Babel thing. While it is the standard godsmack story, man thinks he's hot god says he's snot, in the details it goes that once we spoke one language , and we were united , God feared this power and to fix that he gave us society. The good stuff we cant live with out like government and languages, and of course a reason to hate and distrust anyone who isnt like you. All the ISM's along with sense of nations religions all that was just to keep us from building skyscrapers that apparently got a little too close to Gods neighborhood. They both suggest that a unified man is capable of some greater thing than what we have done yet. In the work to be done many hands will make work light. In defense the more the merrier. In Amerika land of the fee a tribe at this time is probably illegal. Which doesn't bother me a bit, Most of my plan involves at least ignoring there manmade laws. Speaking of let me tell you a little about the plan, at least how I see it now, it will have to be subject to change, actually made to change, depending on the circumstances. In my book I thought that the premium would be to place a container ship in the middle of Oklahoma and cover it in dirt. Sadly the time is growing to short to go this route, sorry Y2K. Since then I have become more enamored with the Pyramid. It is the strongest structure man can build. Its not a chance that of the ancient structures on this planet that have survived time pyramids are king. It's physics that make them so strong. If you strike a pyramid it absorbs the blow, from any angle it dissipates the force,

spreading it out through the whole structure. I went over my theories on this , that the pyramids were originally built as public shelters. Since the book I have noticed earth Pyramids on almost every continent. I feel this is the main key , I believe I can build a shelter that will survive almost anything. Anything that is survivable , anything but fate. It will certainly help putting it in the best possible spot. With a little modification it could even be placed near water an almost for sure doomed area. I know and respect the Hopi prophecies, and think it would be pure folly to not consider their warnings. Since they see most of North America as a giant wasteland of radioactive death, that would be a good place to start preparing for. 3 feet of dirt will supposedly stop gamma radiation , the worst of the bunch. The thing with it is it is heavier and wont stay in the atmosphere for long, I think of it as the main blast like in Hiroshima. What the Hopi seemed to see is more of a Fukishima release, I think from massive failures to multiple reactors, yet mostly alpha and Beta radiation will spread in the atmosphere and poison the masses , killing them softly with a steady dose. This part of the plan requires timing not that I am set on staying here and the whole nuke thing, yet at this point it is almost my only option. It's why finding another location is not a bad option. I know where to get my hands on about anything I need and I know this area very well, I can take advantage of the geography. I would think in normal times as a mountain man I'd be toast, like as part of some critters breakfast. I'd certainly be willing to try but my mountain man knowledge comes from watching movies on tv. My big plan on surviving in the wilds is that I have my books on the subject, I even have the classic how to survive a nuclear disaster by Robert C. Smith . It sounds like good reading , I might not wait for the big one to read it, as it says its everything you need to know on surviving a nuclear disaster. As far as I see there are very few places on earth that are going to be free from the worry of radiation infection. The long term being the contaminated soil , because those left will still want to eat. The only plan that makes sense to me is to shelter down and then after the bad stuff is over , find someplace that is livable. It will be a bit of following the winds , because that will determine most of the volumes of radiation as to where it settles. Basically whichever way the wind is blowing when the time the radiation is settling , we go the other way. Here I figure if the Hopi are right There's an area called the four corners they say the area will survive. I would be open to meeting you there except it is as In the United States as here. Everything that I write sounds like great fiction, so why not we could go back to the old ways, the sooner the better, theres so much wisdom to be found in that journey I could learn the rest of my life. I know the best defense against all ptb is to not need them, or anything they control. What is the best amount to need them none. To me this option is the only one that gets ahead of the game. Basically learning to live from the earth before it becomes the only option. I have my books on it but you know that I wrote a book , so real doing is the best way to learn. Where I am far behind is on farming. This is why on at least the basic levels we need a tribe, I'm not afraid of the work but failure would be devastating. We Need people a lot more experienced in growing than at least I am. Another plus to this option is it is the only one useful if there is no 2012, perish the thought because it just means a slower destruction of life, I think of it as you know ripping off a band aid one big pain or long little pains. Back to fiction I can See myself on a small piece of land growing some of my own food , with a nice area to invent work. I think that if I made the demon alcohol I could use it to trade for the things I still need plus some extra's of life. This would be tradeable under almost any scenario. In Missouri its legal to make 100 gallons a year. Where they get you is when you sell it, which I wont at least not technically. It's a theory of mine but if you have what you need and want why would you need money?

What my dreams require is a space to create and the time to do it. Sorry for this but if your wondering on my plan for making alcohol it's based on as I told my brother , test it on the homeless alchies in the city and when they stopped going blind I would start testing it. That's of course mad cowboy thinking , I don't even drink, but I know how. I'm thinking uzo and a snaps made out of whatever fruits I can get. I can even think I would convert farm equipment to alcohol and make a grade to run a tractor. Methane would be a useable side product of farming. As I'm dreaming I can even see myself making stills to trade. This dream world requires a certain amount of society , but would be much more tribal to community. Thats good , for the most part I like humans, it's not my desire to remove myself from humanity. Such as holing up in the hills which is another option, I like people , they can get pretty stupid but get them out of the group think and they want the same thing. In my dream I see enough space that I dont share a wall. Because I can't own anything I see myself as living on a few acres of a comunal-Ish farm. And that word does kind of leave a bad taste in the mouth , specially when they always fail. It goes back to I US We , the most usual cause of failure is Too many Chiefs, not Enough Indians. I think tribal means keeping your own tee pee or wigwam. It gets me almost angry, Maybe I'm just too tents, yuk yuk but tribal relies on self reliance. Back to more or less reality I can see myself doing the homesteading bit, about the only requirements I would like is space. This is still just a desire , living in the world gone madder is the big trick now. I think here barring total collapse I can survive the winter. I have the possibility of work, unless I cant pay my rent I finally dont have to worry about being on the street. I lived for two years with a for sale sign on the building knowing if it sold I was on the street. Someday I gotta move , as I told my landlord , sorry you couldn't sell the dump but now I have one less worry, for twenty 12. It was just luck that I found this spot, right, but I am in a pretty good location, even if it is within half a mile of the house where I first lived, and less than a mile from my parents house where I was raised. There's probably something weird about that, but I'm also lucky to have a family I like. All thing's considered I'm in a fairly good place to struggle to survive. A good place to live, which is why I live here. That said there are no roots on my feet , I can and know I will have to leave this behind, one way or another, my hope is that it's because I can find a better spot, and a better way to live. I think a lot of that will have to be put on hold for the next couple of years. I would love to get a headstart on the new life, I think more of it than surviving next year, but there isn't a future without making it through the present. I think of it as a coming attraction, It's coming it's here. If you thought the decade from Hell was something wait till you see 2012 The year of the calender. See the world as you know it crumble before your eyes. You'll laugh then cry spectacular effects , watch the planet itself shift on it's axis, as the sun bombards the planet with radioactive fire. See how the humans run as natures fury is unleashed upon them. Watch the intrigue as the greedy powers that be attempt to take anything of value with them into their underground bunkers. Your heart will be wrenched as you follow the story of two strangers who against all odds develop a friendship that becomes an attraction followed by their almost impossible meeting. Can our lovers traverse a planet in chaos then together survive a world gone madder? Will the PTB really minions for the Hybrid shape shifting Lizard Aliens take over the world? Will we see the end as we know it? Is there an end? Will anyone even notice if there is? These questions and many more will only be answered when 2012 unfolds in glorious High Definition on a planet near you. How can anyone not get up for that? It will be hard to live up to the billing but one thing I don't see is the future being boring. Back to the plan , and really it's picking the right plan. While I think

underground is a serious mistake the thought of using a really old cave has a lot of advantages. Once again selling you on the area we have some very large caves in the area , if you wanted to go underground this is the place. The most perfect would be Merimac Caverns. I don't see how you could possibly know the name but one of my all time local hero's Jesse James was said to have used it for a hide out. Its large enough for hundreds to use as a shelter, the place even has electricity it's a tourist/state park attraction. I'm sure I wont be the only person who thinks of this but if enough people needed shelter this place could hold a tribe. The plan would be tourist the place then refuse to leave. Unless the park rangers are planning on using it themselves were not talking about a whole lot of people who will even care or notice. This place is tailor made it has bathrooms as well as a restaurant. While no place is impregnable this place has advantages. In fact I could see the defense of it as a positive, the people who would come to kick us out would have useful equipment if they were allowed to join us. As long as they aren't federal I can get over them being former police. You'd have to figure the feds would be occupied guarding the dumbs or harassing the people's out in the streets. Guarding what the wealthy couldn't carry. If it was state guys or local the big problem would be to get them to share, great leverage for us would be to be on the inside of the cave. I should be honest here most of my plans do not necessarily involve being law abiding, you have to even consider what kind of law will be around then. Most of it will be the law of force, unfortunately we are pretty much there anyway. To me the brave new world will joyfully be without the law force that is at this second attempting to watch everything we do , and I'm sure what we say, probably even to reading this little love letter. As we know I hope they are reading this , I don't want it to surprise them when I say they don't scare me . In fact I would hope they would open their minds to see just how wrong they are. As a white dog I can love you but you must change your way. Even if you cant get your mind around how far over the line you have went from To Serve and Protect think of how you are being used by the PTB, quit being chumps, and remember that anyone who thinks he can happily be minion, when they are done with you they will throw you to the wolves, or feed you to the dog. This next part might be hard to understand without research into American culture, or as we call it Hollywood. Something that is prevalent in all End O' Times movies , is when you get to the bunker you have guards holding back the peoples to only let in the paying crowd. The doors close as they do there duty , I always wonder about that , I hope they got paid in advance , and already spent it. Or how many times do you see an escape pod or secret getaway that includes the hired help. Are you going to fight to the last bullet for someguy who's already left the scene? Think of it this way as you go to meet your maker, or face your judgment , do you want to make your last act on earth murder? I'm sure it's already on your conscious anyway, I can garrentee that I was just following orders is not going to cut it , along with Just making a living , collecting a paycheck. Enough with They for now, back to To each their own fate let me talk for a second on the difference between a shelter and a dumb. Two things that really stand out are length of stay and location , location , location. As far as I see it those who go into the dumbs most likely will never come out. If their successful their children or their children's children will dig there way out , way in the future. Shelter is an above-surface short term but reusable protection. I wouldn't want to live in one just use it and then leave it and move to a hospitable place. Now if I had land I would incorporate one into the landscape, I can think of some good uses beyond shelter , not that a shelter isn't handy from weather, specially those pesky Tornadoes. Not for nothing but on land I would build an earth home anyway. So to start we would have three feet of dirt on our roof , and a garden. Once again I see it as a flat top pyramid, around here they are called mounds, all my white underdog and mind of a child knowledge tells me this is not a coincidence. It reminded me that if you need a place to pyramid up in Europe , Bosnia has hundreds or more dirt

Pyramids , just find one dig you out a space insert a livable container and your set. One of the key designs of pyramid shelters is the door. What you want is an angled tunnel that starts above ground and goes down and back to a door , this part of the tunnel would collapse if it is struck, which is want you want it to do. But be prepared to dig out. A door that opened inward would be handy, and if you have it an explosive placed outside the door would make quick work of anything blocking the door. Outside thinking though would be to have the tools to simply cut a new door out when the event is over. It really amazes me that I'm probably not the first or only guy to be asking to shelter up with some one special. However a pyramid built for two , I might be an originator on that one. Of course I come from mound town , I bet back in the day that was part of the dating ritual, a young man builds an earth mound that impresses the apple of his eye and her and her family move in with him. Personally I don't know why I never thought of it before how nice it could be to live on and in a pyramid. Back to the dream again but with some time I could take it from shelter to a very efficent living quarters, I could even build a house on top of the pyramid as a summer home. The dream part is the money it would take the two bigger expenses buying the land , and drilling a well. Two wells actually, I've never heard of this being done but one of the main problems I have with a long stay in a shelter is air supply, but just like water pockets in the earth, where we'd drill to get water , there are pockets of air trapped in caves. This is tricky because of poison gasses and bad air , but if we could tap some stale air we could stay sheltered for months. This would also give us the capability to bring some friends/ family along. That is one thing about being here If we shelter here I have to invite my family , at least my inner family , in fact barring you the only reason I have to build a shelter is my nieces and nephew and their kids. I also still have parents could I leave them? I also have a couple of brothers and a sister, were all old enough that if it came down to it we would give up our space for someone younger. I'd have to believe that I would have the courage to do that, what kind of White Dog wouldn't. So if it's here it has to be big enough for friends. One thing on the plus side if I use containers its pretty much a matter of using more, having to trust that the merrier bring their own supplies, and hopefully something useful to the party. That is one thing helpful both my brothers would be needed to help build , either shelters or just our pyramid for two. Obviously if I jump with you I don't see my self bringing the family or friends, a plus is most of them like the planet dont ever think of an end as we know it. Theyd rather worry about the troubles they have now, getting through the day , hoping to make enough to pay the bills. One thing I think is wrong is to think of them as asleep, hypnotized maybe. The world is not asleep, they are just too afraid to worry that long term yet. Maybe all the ends we have had and will have before the end will numb them enough to miss the natural fear that things do change. Since we read my book we know that one of the more interesting things to watch will be how people are effected if or as things deteriorate faster and faster. If things progress from this year as in life as we now know it, floods droughts earthquakes volcanoes tornadoes, life forms dropping off the planet, millions on the run from nature or man, we cant forget tyranny how much is enough? Back to the trailer I guess.

Will We the People ever get enough? Which right will they lose that drives them over the edge? Just what will the people take to keep gas in their tank? Will personal comfort enslave them to the Powers that Be? Watch as the evil lizards pull out all the stops in their plans for retaking control of the earth! Will they complete their task in the time appointed for the Mother ships arrival? Will mankind be returned to the mines? Will he be harvested for food? Will they reduce the population of the earth in order to use the remaining populace as a resource? Watch as the Masks are removed ! See the humans as they realize just who controls the strings of their puppet governments! These and many questions will be answered. Can religion survive when the people learn the New Truth? Or will they adapt and merge into the New Truth? What will we learn? Will we meet our Maker? Will it be the fabled Judgment day ? Judge for yourself angels on flaming chariots or aliens in attack space craft? Can unconditional love conquer an Alien race bent on controlling the planet? And what of our 2 heroes can the Cowboys pyramid Protect them from the Powers attempts to enslave or destroy them? I'm pretty sure of one thing If it's god's or aliens I'm not coming out to root for them. Specially if they are bearing gifts. Either way it's another reason to be blessed we live in interesting times. Not to toot my horn but camouflage and speed are both inherent in the earth Pyramid. For a long time people here and apparently around the world thought the mounds were hills , not that some super smart aliens wont figure it out we might slip by for a time, being so low priority for one. Part of the plan of building a shelter would be to keep it secret or built at the last moment. I think here a bit of paranoia would come in handy. Assume they are watching and listening and reading everything. I don't think building a shelter is technically illegal, the thing is with permits and codes you get placed at least on a list. They would classify us as possible terrorist's or enemies of the state. Most likely I will be re-classified as Mad and they'll go after bigger or slower fish. I always think about that watching the sharks rip through a group of fish if I'm one of them you have to figure if you avoid the teeth part long enough they'll move on to an easier fish. Of course if you're a particularly brave and lucky fish you would think that as long as the shark is chasing you he is not chasing the tribe. When I was a kid we had this game we called running from the cops, ah the simplicity of the good old days. Pretty simple really everybody would just pick a direction and run , all you needed was cops or a helicopter to chase you , with all bodies running in a different direction its really up to them to decide who to chase. If they chase you its time to run faster one avoid capture so being able to move unpredictably helps. In them days we had a few more parks and found the woods were the best place to head for, mostly go where the sharks dont want to chase you. I sometimes think it's a good guess that once upon a past life I was a fish. Or it's just easy to emphasize with the looks in their eyes. Course the fish have a lot more on the line than we did. One thing in either case its more of a younger fish game. What I should of said in a whole lot less words , it wouldn't be the first time , sadly not the last. If I'm

a credible threat to this country, it's in real bad shape. Even knowing what I do about the PTB I don't really see anyway I could hurt them. I still think the best way to annoy them is to be happy without them. The Russian's said it best , don't fear them, don't believe anything they say, and don't ask anything of them. Throw in live well without them and we have something worth uniting for. Anyway in real world some list's you want to be on some you don't. Shelter building list would probably rate attention up to the or FBI or FTA dropping by at least to count your guns. As your thinking if they think of me at all it would be the kind of crazy guy playing with dirt. One thing that's no fun is three letter words showing up at your door, there bad enough on the phone. In one of my many battles (Strong Word) encounters with the IRS I remember the lady on the phone saying We've been trying to find you for a long time I couldn't help it and saidOh what did you do look in the phone book? funny but not smart, sometimes you get by with it, not to toot my horn to show you how pyramid worthy I am, I actually made an FBI guy laugh, not bad considering he was at the door. Just visiting I guess, I always thought he was checking me out cause I made a List. I answered the door and the guy says Hi I'm with the fbi, but dont worry I'm not here to arrest you I said I know that for 2 reasons I think he was more shocked than I was and he said Really what are they One I haven't done anything to be arrested by the FBI, and two if I had we wouldn't be talking I got to tell you Yad but I think you already know I am a good guy , while I'm a bit choosy about the laws I follow I'm pretty certain I haven't broken any federal laws. Sorta, maybe depends on how you see it I guess. Plus I'm pretty sure If I was wanted by the FBI I wouldn't be answering the door, and you wouldn't bother knocking . He was cracking up I didn't think those guys were allowed a sense of humor. I really like laughing its one of my favorite medicines. I feel like I've already told you this, all of this, I just wanted to let you see some of the real me, I have been off the net for almost two weeks, I miss my doom, I miss you more though, I think just because the the world as we know it could end is no reason to not have some laughs. I wonder how many immanent dooms I missed while I've been away, Winter is coming on and it always gives me the thought of going where the weather suits my clothes. However barring circumstance I'm almost ready for the cold hard winter. Whatever, I dont see me having say over the weather anyway, Other than get in it or avoid it. It's not very often I get the time to think like this, I've spent ten pages trying to make up our minds. I see no reason to not get prepared to live this next year as the most important of my life. Even though I believe that to be true of every day, ask not for whom the Bell tolls , it tolls for thee. I've always thought of self as a group of emotions,experiences and thoughts, all parts that make the whole. To get me out of the place I am now it would take a clear consensus from the whole of me. Plus some outside motivation, meaning a good reason. One thing I'd like to be is open to the possibilities. I'd also like to be able to make the right moves. In fact making the right move might be the number one concern. I'm definitely thinking 2012 a lot. I dont want to make the mistake of taking it too lightly, just as to concentrate too much on it , is also a bad. I want to live , I think it's important to want to live. With me it's not fearing death . It's wasting life. I already know the biggest regrets in life are the things we didn't do. Something I would like to accomplish either way is to become this enlightened being, or really figure out a way to use it. I know I have said this but there is great peace in knowing that you know. When anyone wants to talk religion or soul I'm ready, I mean I am a Holy Man. A trouble is of course I want to help them without hurting them. I know there's times when the truth doesn't work. I usually try to be happy to make them think about their beliefs, as you know if you want to change people's behavior you have to teach by example. So I am going to spend some of the time left on learning to project an inner light. Have a peace of mind body and spirit, that is so obvious it will spread to those I encounter. I am not the kind of guy who

is naturally happy. I think it must be earned. I am trying to look for things that make me happy, this helps . But I know my true happiness can only come if I feel I deserve it. Earning it is still kind of a blank, I know that my happiness has to connect with others, if your not happy it lessons my happy. I really don't want to help humanity I think in a lot of ways we'll get what we deserve. The rub is humanity is made of individuals as is all life , a collective of one's. Not that you need my help, in fact its more the other way around, I need to help not just you, though you are right at the top of the list, I feel that my White Underdog-ness besides inner peace is only for giving one unconditional love and two help as and how needed. As we know inner peace doesn't pay the bills, and I can't see them stopping until the very end. As silly as it seems I will probably need to keep finding a job at least until spring. I say spring especially If the jump is north I think it would be a great idea to wait until spring to go that way. There is Mexico I'm 99% sure I could get there just about anytime. The thing would be getting enough cash to live there. Then you have the man who still has some things to see and do. It's getting kind of late to start checking out the seven wonders , which fortunately aren't on the list . My goals there are pretty modest, mostly getting in a really long bike ride, like 200 ks kayak the rivers in my area and write another book. I have an idea or two hundred on a story of US. Not to put pressure on you or the situation, I mean Que Sera sera, whats really important is that you use the time to what you feel is most important. I want you , at peace, and protected, against the whatevers facing you. It's not going to be easy for any of us. I have no idea what the future brings but I can see the possibilities, and they are not all bad. I can see so many better ways, that I figure sooner or later people will realize them and start the changes to redefine the present for a better future. I know one thing this has to be the screwiest love letter ever writ. I could of said it all it one sentence, Hey lets build a pyramid together The Big question is where and with what?

November 6 2011 Hey Yad , It was real nice to hear from you again, its good being back on the net and able to sift the doom as it comes to my living room. Hope things are going good in your skies, here its been chemsoup but what are you going to do? I was actually missing the chem-trails but after a week I can't imagine why? I guess it was the uncertainty I mean if they aren't trying to cloud us to death what are they up to now. But that's just their thing , I'm through with them that will be my thing. Sounds nice anyway. Like the peace in you that comes from being where you are supposed to be. I always thought it was finding your center and in a normal world I'm happy with being where I am. I live on the back of a turtle the great turtle I truly care little for any Ideas of nation , so USA means little to me. Its way to much like sports anyway rooting for your team, mostly because there the home-team. In reality we watch millionaires playing at making themselves richer.

Not that I'm against games, or playing its mostly a way to spend time , which borders on waste. One thing is time can't be saved use it or not it's here and then gone. Sorry that's really here and then here as time also seems to keep coming. I often get the image of an old movie showing the passing of time with calender pages flying off a wall , where days become years in the blink of an eye and suddenly it stops at the point where now your old and decrepit enough to look back on your life and figure out how you should of lived it. There's something about the clarity of the moment that sums of the entire blur of existance . Solomon Grundy, Born on Monday, Christened on Tuesday, Married on Wednesday, Took ill on Thursday, Worse on Friday, Died on Saturday, Buried on Sunday: This is the end Of Solomon Grundy. I read this when I was young but it fits . I said it a little bit differently once. This is the story of the Life of Bryan Its a story I know so well born as a baby raised as a child became a man in the blink of an eye I'd really like it if enlightenment comes with an understanding of time. As fast as it is I would like to get as much out of it as I can. To me it comes down to two possibilities circular or linear. Circular has a comfort yet it also has complications . For if time goes round and round there could never be a beginning , its easy to accept the we go on and on into a future, but how could we have always been? Yet if it is linear it seems cruel that out of billions of years some of us are born and died in the same day. Let alone us and our life cycles of years , or even special trees that live centuries. What is any of that on a timeline of billions. It creates an absurdity to think that anything we say or do or experience done unto us matters to any one or thing but us. It's almost insanity or a delusion to try to matter. I see a beauty and simplicity in the sort of linearocraty or linear lunacy of being not even a speck on the timeline of life. I am free of the worry of keeping time moving it will do so with or with out me. I know Beatles song. So linear is guilt free think free really I mean it dont matter. If this proves to be the truth I plan on keeping it to myself as this can be a very dangerous lifestyle. If you always live like there will be no tomorrow there soon won't be. Or as Lord Byron sorta put it Alas, so I burn the candle at both ends and shall not last the night, But oh what a light I'll make It would seem that I'm of two minds on many subjects, not that both minds don't agree on two things that each moment we have should be embraced for its worth and specialness and someday visiting you would be fun. Not that I'm going schizophrenic I always felt that I as all are many parts making us uniquely us. Its not the same of course but I now have a vision of you that my mind has put together that I can mentally treasure just knowing someone who lives in the sky. I'm sure it's not heaven but maybe they can hear you from there? A mountain would probably be the closest I will ever get to heaven , but I've never really been bothered by that. In fact while I can see hell and its intricacies , the vision of heaven is absurdity at it's finest. Like maybe you would pick the best moment in your time and live that moment forever. There is no heaven

moment that I would relive over and over or a day so great that I would want it to never end , which is what is dogma. The endless day, some could picture a spot kind of like yours,. Throw in a 72 inch flat screen and a pool with a hot tub? Kidding aside (About the hot tub and tv ) if we make our own hell can we build our own heaven as well? Kind of like a retirement fantasy , or plan I've never had either really . I always figured that won't be my problem but what if we have this afterlife? Linearly I have heard that you get more or less what you think is going to happen. I have to be honest with you I always figured if there is a Hell I'm going there. As the Greeks say though Heaven for the weather , hell for the company. As you know I have done the research on this as well as took the Dante test, I'm a second ring of hell with the bonus of being a musician , I'll get off pretty easy . If it's anything like life we will probably make our own hell, either out of guilt or imagination. Thats why I try not to think of all the punishments I could get I mean its feeding the fire? You know no reason to kick up the heat right? You know I think of hell as being in a room with bad music and people I don't want to be around talking about stuff I dont believe in or care about over and over, so I better be careful I could end up in a church for eternity. I've never once thought about building a heaven I think it would have to be more about pleasant memories , than unfulfilled dreams. Something I also rarely consider is company if heaven is an endless day who do you invite to the picnic? As it stands now I guess my heaven moment would be a day long bike ride I once took. Maybe sad but it was a great day that I hope to never forget. Sad that I would accept a heaven of riding alone , as my best moment, and I was alone-ish because I met seen so much that day I never once thought of being lonely. Or even sharing that day except what I wrote and filmed. That day I rode in two states and crossed two rivers by bridge and ferry. It was the greatest physical accomplishment of my life , and I rode through some of the prettiest places I know of. I could see riding forever but there should be more, though they are little actions I am a man of action. When I was a pup I joined the army to see the world and got as far as Europe spending three years there, I think I would add Venice to my heavenly bike ride. Beautiful place that I felt like home at. Of all the things we could prepare for should we be memory building and collecting just in case? Is your ideal heaven include a friend stopping by? I mean if I cant get there in this life maybe I can stop by in the next life or afterlife as it depends and If I work myself out of hell. I'm more than curious to know if you could consider me a part of your endless day. Peace and Love until next time B.

November 21,2011 Dear Yad,. Hi I hope things are still good with you , as you have your pie in the sky. Did you like the pictures I sent? Sorry about the quality after all only so much I can do with a face like that huh? I did get it , that you would want to see the real me for various reasons. One truly does bug me if you are not convinced that I am indeed very real. I can understand doubting my sincerity , but not my originality, No bot could be me . I'm not a spy , and I'm definitely not some creep eating Cheetos in his mom's basement. Plus if I was making myself up would this be the character I would create? Could I make me up? I am becoming a writer but in no way could I imagine myself as I am. Why would I when there would be so many better options. This is a bit of a sore spot in my psyche I mean I am actually proud that I yam what I yam. Yet I dont think being me is anything to brag about, Or be Ashamed of.

The pictures will not answer your question which is still why you. A very scary question if I was you. I hope that you can see that I am not obssessed well overly or a stalker if it feels that way, just say no. I do like you, always have even when you were a fire breather I liked your attitude, or a sense of believing in yourself. That's a good quality that gets better if you are open minded enough to let the truth's change you thoughts. Of course back then I thought you were a guy three feet tall and green. I miss your Partying Yoda profile pic, if they are wondering. I think I told you I'm a musician, the only plan I have is to live long enough to get too old to do my real job I'll then start playing music for pay. If it works I feel pretty sure I could survive as a musician. Survive big deal , but the good part is I could theoretically play anyplace and one of the benefits is that I would. For now I am unleashing my artistic leanings to the page. I feel here I am more original than I could ever be on a stage, any stage. Here I am a creator of worlds , maybe even what the misinformed say. I create my reality. I think in our story , this story there's a very thin line between fantasy and reality, if there is a reality which I believe in. Just yesterday I looked at a map and said your three quarters of the way around the world from me. Well as God of this page at first what I thought is what a great story we would make , if this was all just fantasy I'd still want to write every word . Something you have taught me is that you are not a character for me use. As you say This is our moment . We, I think there has to be a we, I've said it before I would never go through with surviving just to keep myself alive. I still think we are a great story only now its a story that should be lived as well as told. Which leads me to some fears , of course I think we are both relatively set up to live the best we can while staying who we are. I see the difficulties as merely adding to the challenge the only fear I can have is letting us down, really letting you down, even though I think we both are enlightened enough to know about the best laid plans of mice and man. We know the things we can't control , really isn't that what it's all about living in a world gone madder. Then we have us, wouldn't there be one thing from me that you would have to have? I know if I was you I wouldn't come off my mountain without it. I mean yes building a pyramid with you would be fun and the adventure this life form needs but certain things are very important the best plan possible for one , including picking the right spot to getting there. I agree South or even Central America at this time sounds logical. Australia is very nice but they probably would not let me in their country. The only rub would be if it is planet X the southern Hemisphere will get hit worse or at least first, simply because Its coming from that way. I dont think that kills the deal just might make it a little harder if things start falling apart in the months to come. How many love letters being written right now contain the phrase Planet X, I wonder. I always figure things usually work themselves out anyway, I don't really feel I picked you, on a couple of levels which could be my way of blaming the fates , or truly giving them their due. They picked you and me to make a rather fantastic voyage I'd put up there with the Odyssey. but I'd rather it would be a more peaceful trip of course. As a kid it broke my heart a bit to find that just about everywhere on the planet had already been explored because thats what I wanted to do/be an explorer. My child in me is an explorer , I will walk for miles on the rivers just to see whats around the bend almost always it's another bend but I saw , and now know. I found the only way to know for sure is to do , see , which includes really looking forgetting about self for awhile finding the keys Of Life. I never get disappointed by finding another bend except that I wont be able that day to explore that bend as well. While I was looking around bends on the premise that if its new to me it is undiscovered. I became convinced that My biggest chance to make a discovery was in the small things , I could find a wild

flower or an insect never documented. Little things others just missed. Funny while I was looking for the BryanStar or Star of Bryan ( the Wildflower ) on a river bend, you've told me of the greatest journey into the unknown since at least when Magellan didn't fall off the earth. Funny until now how I have missed this great unknown , the most spectacular unknown given to every being the Future. As I said many times the challenge isn't just surviving time, though it is pretty important . there has to be more or in the least I expect more out of myself . I know I can't conquer time , just like I cant save it, all that's left is to use it fully. Who'd of thought of exploring the future, besides you and now me. Could there be a greater unknown than what is about to happen ? I haven't personally tried to see into this future yet I've heard that the seers only see a blank time in the time frame of 2012. Serves them right its like peaking at a Christmas present the night before. What it says to me though is it hasn't happened yet, as in maybe even the future doesn't know what it will be. If you already know what is to happen please dont tell me I would like to keep it a surprise. It's not like its some great blank to me it's more the immense possibilities , so many things could happen it's a crap shoot, roll of the dice , casting of lots of the gods type thing. I can hear you thinking great now the gods are involved and yes they will probably make things more complicated and worse as they put their two cents in. And to them sorry about that God of my page thing I was teasing , or attempting a mute point about the line between life and imagination. I' am pretty sure that whatever we concieve as god should also include a sense of humor, how many times has fate delivered a semi cruel twist of fate causing you to raise your fist to the sky and say Very funny God I dont think either one of us believe in religion, I know as a white Dog that one of the biggest keys is realizing just how wrong they are,. Not only that but just how simple it really is. Mostly it is a waste of life to spend your time searching for an answer that is in you all along. Nuff said I guess as we each must find the right question before we find any real answers. I bring them/he/she up because quite frankly we have to get on their good side. From what I have seen I will need all the help I can get just to get to you. I hate asking for special favors and I know beyond a doubt that the gods/fates /greater cosmos does not owe you/me/us, they like us must do this of their own free will. Because I believe in a personal god I know they know me and that I am not worthy or any more worthy than anyone else with a dream. But I'm not a hypocrite, they (Because how do you genderize or even quantify the Godness. Normally in life I am happy to live as the Preacher and the bear. To shorten it up a preacher goes hunting after a service and runs into a bear who chases him up a tree. High up in the tree on a small limb the preacher begins a prayer saying I know you've done some great things like saving Daniel from the Lions den parting the red sea to save the Isrealites. Well I know I'm not worthy of that but all I can say is Dear god if you can't help me just please don't help the bear. This leads me to another topic for another time something help from you on , which I'm almost afraid to say is can I be brave enough? An old saying Goes Yeah though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death I shall fear no evil For I'm the baddest MOFO here. I'm not even close. Yet I have spent some time in the valley and came back to lie about it. I do feel you and I know you are brave, in so many ways you are my missing parts yet I hope you think I'm backwards , I am your missing parts. Would we together be a force to scare the Hindu's Gods? Anytime you start wanting to be God your setting yourself up for disappointment , ask any conqueror. I dont want the power to scare the gods But I think we mite need it. Unless they want to help us I hope that at least they wont be against us. Of course in a story like this there will have to be a time when I say to you If any gods owe you any favors Now would be a good time to call them in. That should be just about when the fun begins.

I must go for now the PTB seems to have loosened the money faucett a bit, people are spending , meaning I have some work, floors to lay and walls to paint. there are many more questions for you to ask as we turn idea into plan into action, whatever happens It should not get boring . Peace and Love, Bryan PS yes I will meditate on you in the sky As they say Trust in Allah , but tie down your camel

November 25, 2011 My Dearest Yad, It has only been three days since I last wrote to you but my how things have changed. Its is now time for the bad part of all this the fare thee wells. Though I never have liked the Holidays much , this being the possibly last one I think it should be treated seriously. We have this stupid thing called Thanksgiving here where we celebrate the genocide of the Indigenous people who's country we stole then destroyed. Almost poetically we celebrate by overeating and then passing out on the couch. I've always been thankful that I love my family, they live fairly close to me so it's not like I need a baby Jesus or a genocide for a reason to spend time with them. I love them but hate the holidays and am usually at my most depressed during them. This one could be the biggie saying goodbye to the people and places I love. For a long time I figured on not surviving , or really attempting to survive the big day just because of the thought of them gone. Funny I have rarely worried about my temporary little life, that has already lasted a lot longer than I thought it would, yet I put a wall up to think of my parents as mortal, meaning they wont be around forever and as selfish as it is I kind of hoped they would outlive me. Nobody lives forever not in these bods anyway. I do recognize a positive in that I will be more worried about them than us. Why is that? I have told family and friends about the seriousness of building a shelter, I will leave a plan for them, but the only real thing I have constantly told them is how precious time is especially now. Live to the fullest amount , if you have a dream do it and that right now. . Don't waste anytime , use it wisely. It's so hard to get people to realize that life is very short even without coming doom. I can tell no body how to live as an example , but I try, I try to enjoy my time left , however long it is. I may even have to give up being depressed just because it's a waste of time. Not so much waste of time It's a misuse of life. I think it will become more obvious as this year ends and we should be able to see the very obvious signs that things are not the same as they ever was. Only more and worse. Your very wise to have pointed out the holes in our plan including the biggie where will be a safe place to Get to December of next year? How to pick up a spot that will still be there for the end of the world as we know it. You didn't think it would be easy, where is the fun in that? I was so glad that you realized that we will be part of a great migration as the people and species on the planet search for new lands as places become uninhabitable do to climate change and mans insane effort to destroy himself. When we become the two headed four armed rolling bouncing critter of old where will we stop? I am more or less willing to give you final say , of course we both have to agree , circumstance might even get the final say we will have to deal with what we have and what we can do. So far I have wrote to you mostly from the heart and indeed this is a journey of the heart , we have to want to do this otherwise there's no real point. I believe in my shelter as a merger of heart and mind , it is what mankind has always done to get through times like this. My mind agrees the shape of the pyramid is the strongest and no one in a right mind cant see that shelter might come in handy. The place to build is important should we pick from the mind or the heart? At this point my heart has a few ideas. Yes South America sounds cool if we can find a place still standing. Once again wise one you hit the nail on the head when you suggested that The Mayans predicted the end of the world which might make them the last place you'd want to be. I mean to them the world was probably a lot smaller and as always when we say end of the world we really mean our own butt. I suggest in the time we have we make a list of possible places , as many as we can find, then maybe rate them with like happy faces verses frowns for good and bad points to each location. And if that place gets wiped off the map we cross it off. We can do this in a few ways I think latitude longitude would be simplist. But am open. The places we think are most enjoyable I will set up the news from

those areas sort of monitor the areas. Your so right that we may have to make the best choice available not some best garden of Eden spot that nobody else knows of. That's big brain thinking but I was a boyscout till they kicked me out, or really like a few counties just asked me to leave and not come back. Be Prepared . From the heart I will propose an area roughly 20 degrees north by 120 degrees west. Check out the west side of the mountain range , anywhere in there above where the Baja starts I feel is a 2012 spot. Course they have the get to 2012 problem in that this is Bandito country. Watch Treasure of the Sierra Madras it was filmed on location of course its probably like everything else changed, they still do have banditos and now they are heavier armed than the government. No place is perfect part of everything is developing reactions to circumstance. The good thing about this is we only have to find a good place to get to 2013 afterwords in the end, which will now be the beginning we can go , and most likely will go anywhere. Oh and a lot of desert there too'. Really if I was picking by brain I feel that safest places might be between 15 and thirty degrees north. Kinda funny though the southern latitudes scare me because it will be summer there so if its solar they will know it first. Plenty to think of that's why I trust you. We could always do like Mark Twain said In the end of the world I'm going to Kentucky because their always twenty years behind in everything. Remember it's my job to protect you so take it easy on me. Also remember we could spend this whole year on one day that never comes. In that case I would like it to be very well spent. Plenty of time and words to say on what might happen after 2012 thanks for keeping me grounded a little. Until next time Love B. PS I do think my Mad white Underdog could protect us from the banditos, so beware.

November 29, 2011

Dear Yad, Hi it has only been a few days since I last wrote you yet as soon as I sent my last letter I have had some doubts . As I lay down to sleep I had a vision that all men have at least once in their lives. It was of course Scorched Earth. While this is this years fire season map we can only guess what next year will bring. We may in a weird way get lucky and next year there won't be nothing left to burn. Good grief I can feel your despair , and I want you to know that I am not trying to you know get you killed. I understand that you are safer where you are , than where we could go. Safe but Isolated, I know I'm wrong but I feel an aloneness , maybe it's just me. Why do we feel the need to experience 2012 with someone who understands what is at stake? I've said it many times I do not fear the end of the world , I don't fear my end I think it is a natural thing, like falling off a log into a lake of fire. Like it or not anyone can and will do it. What Can I do for us if I cant even find a safe spot to take you to. Maybe we Should just give up and allow the fates there way, after all can't change fate even if we try. The man who built this must have had the same vision as us, only he is a doer, or was a doer, apparently his vision killed him because while working on this spot his bulldozer fell over on top of him. A freak accident or just the way the Gods like to play. Or was he of course not paying attention. BY the way this very spot is now for sale. It's 15 acres of dirt Pyramids and concrete structures. The rub is the guy was an artist, it's hard to say if he built it for real or if this is just his monument to 2012.

In your last note you said something about scorpions, I wouldn't of guessed you'd be afraid of a bug, considering Mexico has the Gila Monster. As well as sidewinders I believe. They also have almost total anarchy and not in the good way. They as in the PTB have used drug wars as the way of destabilizing the country and the government so of course when we/they step in with the troops they will be greeted as liberators. In other words we will liberate them like we have done to the Middle east. The only thing really saving Mexico from the same fate as Libya is there choice of religion. Since were such a good Christian nation the peoples need a real good excuse to bomb hell out of other Christians. I wouldn't be shocked if in the coming months they push the story of the drug lords in Mexico financing Gihhadists , or letting them train there. Thank god it isn't the Christian duty to hate Buddhists, yet eh my dear? We know it isn't about God anyway it's about money always is. As easy and convenient as invading our neighbor would be they have to attempt at least to put a spin on it the sheeple can accept. This will take a little more time and we know what that means. This could be a little too easy for them , but just a thought, maybe they will use the Trojan excuse., instead of The Face that launched a thousand Ships it will be busload of blonde cheerleaders. That are kidnapped by a drug lord requiring us to send in the troops to Save our Women Folk specially if they look good on tv. You know I am talking about Helen of Troy who was really from Greece. And the Illiad of Homer who even he said the reason they went wasn't to get Helen back it was to plunder Troy. Why would I think of such a neighborhood to raise a pyramid? Mostly low density of population , mountains for a block and possibly hiding out in. Florida on the east and the Baja on the west. Two continents to block from north and south. Waves at least would not get us. There is also one other slight positive. Cochise the Apache warrior lived for a long time there considering he was one of the most wanted men of the time . The Apache were one of the last of the Native tribes to surrender It had some to do with this area being easy to hide in. I read his grandsons biography and he talked about a period when the Apache under Cochise left America and lived in this area. If it's lizards this will be one of the last place they will look. Those are the few positives even though the area is a lot more than scorpions sand and cactus, it is a place where survival under normal conditions is never a given , yet people have lived there for millinea. Or at least a long time. Another plus is it is already a desert how much hotter can you get? I also have to think about moving north though I can see some of the troubles they will have next year as well. From 60 to 75 degrees north I see a lot of land mass between Canada and Russia there is

a lot of land to choose from. I Think Siberia will be hit hard with the Methane bomb. Course the Entire Artic North will be susceptible to the methane leaks as the soil warms and the permafrost melts. This if its a big enough release will mean it wont really matter where we are or what we do, the methane bomb has the power to wipe out the planet. I didn't mean to get all mushy and lovey dovey on you I just wanted you to know that I was and am thinking of you. One thing I have learned already is that we are already in about as safe a place as there will be, if there is such a thing. Not that I want you to give up on me , in fact please don't, I know as you do that time is important as it always is and was., I'll keep looking if you want me to and anytime you want say the word and you can come here, I am on a center. Which is where I will look next. I read somewhere that the planet has Chakra points like we humans these might be the spots to search out and research next. One thing about it as it stands from what we have corresponded I realize that you are not alone and because of the person you are you wont have trouble finding company for next year. It would be totally selfish of me to bring you off your mountain just to have someone fun to spend the year with. I thought if I could protect us and maybe a few others it would be worth it, but I do not want to put you in harm, or get us killed trying to save us from the big day. Personally the tougher they make it the more challenged I feel, and yes I feel challenged enough already. I have always said the moves are up to you, my opinion is to not give up, rage against the dying light, thank you Dylan. I have yet begun to fight well don't want to either the most important thing is how we use our time, again no matter how long it is , it's not enough. I could quote on for pages but I know you can see through the talk, now if I publish this I'm sure I'll wish that I had, others might get use out of the wisdom of the past on the foolishness of man. As a writer wanna be I think straight talk is way underused, its not poetic enough, which means that it doesnt make you think as much as trying to figure out what I am talking about. I think anyone who looks can see we have a problem. We already know this and have for awhile. The trick is finding the answers to fix or as the scientists say, mitigate adapt and endure. Another movie quote we Must endeavor to persevere. Obviously I can't do much to fix the world , where do I even start? In many ways I can just resign myself to acceptance it's easier for sure as Saint Francis the Sissy said the only rub is knowing the difference right? Why does acceptance to me seem like such a cop out. I can tell myself this is not my fault, and I'm right I didn't do this , this is not some reality I perceived, trust me if I could make my own reality by perceiving it, it wouldn't look like this. Straight talking I really don't have a clue what kind of reality I would perceive if I could. Maybe this is what you get when you cross an enlightened being with the mind of the child, and add a piece of MADness. I perceive to know this, I truly care about you, and everytime I write I can feel your presence. It will not be easy , I don't see easy much at all anymore, I think on a whole we will have to do this the hard way. I guess I'm asking for another chance, if you want give me some time there are safe places left that we can get to, we just have to have the will. I trust and respect your judgment so let me know

what you think the next move is. Peace and love for always , your mad white underdog.

hey.mad are.you.depressed.so.often.these.days? can.it.be.that.the.movements.of.the.sphere's influences.everything? like.for.example.just.yesterday.i.was.tethering,hopes.crashed[again.for.the_th.times]. one.moment.i.thought.i.had.a.deal.coming,next.moment.it's.gone.. i.am.in.deep.shit.right.now, cos.was.i.priviledge.to.make.mistakes.even.from.day.one!? of.course.this.world's.a.tireless.dog.eat.dog.battleground,it.does.gets.tiring. There's.a.50/50.chance.i.might.get.stocked.here. so.plan.B.is.no-choice.but.to.stick.around,carry.on. it's.so.killjoy. hope.our.forging.of.alliance.will.be.spared.from.too.many.adversities*knocks.wood*. why.is.it.that.i.kinda.shudder.when.i.read.your.vaya.con.dios.ending? already.it's.sad.to.think.of.otherwise. maybe.that's.the.reason.why.we.don't.have.to.believe.all.our.thoughts.. [no.thoughts=no.drama] i.noticed.the.subject.of.safe.locations.getting.tackled.here.now. actually.i.asked.Rob.Bast.that.question.when.he. came.up.with.that.blog."Come.to.Aus". Rob.Bast.is.my.2012-meme.guru. it.would.be.keen.to.read.his.take. i.just.realized.too.that.you're.my.doom.guru.haha must.be.why.i.kept.seeking.you.out.when.you. don't.surface.for.days.before talking.of.doom,remember.that.classic.cartoon.series.young.gulliver? and.that.glum's.line"we're.doomed..will.never.make.it"said.in.monotone low.voice.lol there's.something.about.negation.that.comforts.

it.clears.up.the.way.to.acceptance. anyways.when.we.finally.consolidate.all.info.on.safe.locations. hopefully.by.that.time.the.circumstances.around.me.have.turned.favorable enough.to.enable.the.plan.to.move.to.the.next.level. i.am.drawn.to.you.for.many.good.reasons. yad p.s.can't.find.anymore.in.my.files.that.partying.yoda.pic.so.this.one.for.the.meantime. this.face.can.blend.with.the.populace.so.no.biggie. p.p.s. nope you didn't read it well..yad is alone..pretty sure of that. I'm sorry things are in a down phase for you right now. Of course I get depressed , I even fear though of just what I don't know anymore. Since I became a white underdog I have been working on changing my attitudes. It's hard but I tell myself is this how an enlightened being should act? You didn't tell me your troubles, only that you have a big one. Around here that means money or cops, You dont look like the wanted dead or alive type, sides thats my gig.. As a newly minted Holy man I'm not really sure my prayers will help, and truth of the matter I'd rather not need them , I will send positive energy to you the best that I can. As far as being stuck , I think we all are.As far as being done though , don't ever think that. I also want to be honest as I can without offending anyone, Rob is ok if you get a chance to go to Australia I'd take it . It totally wont be as much fun in my pyramid without you but I would rather you be safe, and there is some safety in numbers, as long as their minds are right. Meanwhile bide some time endeavor to persevere, or as Churchill said "if your going through Hell Keep going." If nothing else do it to see what is on the other side I know I want to see that , I might even be there playing my guitar sitting on top of our mound waiting for you. You have to know that "All Things are possible" I mean not just all the evil crap our minds have pictured coming down the time tubes for next year. All things means yes too' I'm not going to try to pump you up with my feel good , feel the power speech . Even though we all need it from time to time To me it's a fact All Things are possible , unless they are verify-ably impossible. Anyway take care of yourself and I will send you all the Mad White underdog love I can. I'm next going to find The Safe places, when and if I can find them , then lets worry about getting there. Peace B. December 21, 2011. Dear Yad, It has been a long time, you know when we started this story was to have a happy ending, even though at most it would have been maybe happy for us. What kind of a writer would end his story with the main characters resigning to their fates alone in a crumbling world? It may be the most realistic ending,but it would never make it in Hollywierd.

Strangely enough on this one I would have to agree with them, it's very unsatisfying to think that we tried , but we couldn't do it. We can take solice in that we cared to try, and even that we dare to dream is an accomplishment. I always like to do my best or at least try to do my best. I used to call it I will try my best, to do my best . To be my best. This is sure enough mind propaganda. If we tell ourselves something over and over we will eventually believe what we tell ourselves. I'm sure with time I could become this white overturned dog that see's all knows all, it could be the propaganda but I already see a difference or see with a difference. It's not just in the way you see things, though I will admit most everything resolves around how we see our lives, filtered through our mind propaganda. It has as much or more to do with the effort put into looking at my/our world. We are constantly learning, with the new knowledge we become a slightly different person than we were without our latest input. We are constant changing beings in a constantly changing world hopefully focused on our little space in time. If I'm enlightened at all I say the time to focus on is now , this very moment and all the other moments to come. Before I became all enlightened I went through my own fight with depression, I mean you know me your doom guru, I figure you know how could I not be depressed, but its really deeper. It's a battle in the mind that has to be fought almost continually like a force within itself. I came to do my fair share of study on the subject, got a lot of advice, which was well meaning but wrong, to be honest the best thing I found was a chat group for depression. I learned one that not only was I not the only one, a common feeling among sufferers, but two I was far from the worst, I got a measure of how sick I was by listening to them. Not only that I learned of the medical treatments , which is mostly drugs and more drugs leading to a constant revolving adaptions from the mind , as it gets used to the drugs the dosages have to be altered. All the drugs given usually a combination of mind alterers have side effects on the body so to counter these you take at least one more series of drugs for the body to counter the side effects. Be thankful you don't have the resources to get into that trap. Not to get into too deep on emotions but as one of them I feel it in others. With us doomers it's almost to be expected that on some level we deal with depression, I wonder if the facts depress us though, or do they validate our feelings. As I said Of course I get depressed I know whats going on. However it is wrong to use the world for an excuse to be depressed. Anyway it is sliced most of us on this planet are at some level of depression. It could be said it is to be expected. If we had the time I think I could help people with this , through mostly talking through it , analyzing the root causes , and the degree it effects their lives. Then suggest some positive lifestyle changes along with some tips on how to self brainwash with positive propaganda. It takes time but it works , slowly, a little rollercoaster-ish but we All have our good days, as well as our bad . Every White underdogs have their days. If we had the time I'd set up an internet couch and consul people on this very subject, including helping them get over feeling embarrassed they think they might have a problem. I think a good way of doing this is saying if you think you dont have a problem you do because your in denial. Most of the people on the planet are in denial. I think Denial will be really big next year as well. If I could get a nickle from every depressed or denialist person on the net we could build a pyramid out of pocket change. I like that if you think you dont have a problem you do, I'll bet some advertisement writer wrote that for a friend who was a Psychiatrist. Gets them coming and going because either way we are all Mad. If I'm lucky maybe I can see my madness, I surely see it in the world as we now know it. It is not the worlds fault , but guess what it's not mine, you didn't do this either. In fact it is now pointless to even figure out who actually messed up practically our entire world as we know it .

I've always said I hope there is a hell, because someone should pay for what they did. I know Karma, we all get what we deserve and it is not my job to worry about vengeance, in fact it goes bad for me to waste my time worrying about it. Just be happy that at least we are not part of the force driving the doom machine. Which leads me back to my point being happy , and that right now. Abraham Lincoln a president here said Most people are as happy as they think they are. This is true, he would know, as he was said to have been one of us. If he wasn't he would of said something really stupid like if you think your happy you will be happy. In other words tell yourself to be happy , and all the reasons you have for not being happy will just go away. Or even as your world crumbles you can watch it with a smile on your face. Or for some they use this to grind on week in and out in situations that are next to unbearable in a sort of put your head down and keep moving mentality that reminds me of our Trail of Tears. What we would now call a death march across the country to be resettled in a new land by force of course. Not that we suffer like they did , but we accept the day in day out keep moving or they will bury you on the trail mood. I dont see that as ever being our problem but it does remind us that we all have problems. With you what I see as a cure is really simple small doses of reality and assessment. It goes back to seeing, first look for things that make you happy, I mean its easy to look for the problems, and necessary but work on the good things first and foremost. I can only imagine your world but it seems quite beautiful. Being where you are is way underrated . I mean so very few people are in the spot they want to be. The whole world sort of dreams of being somewhere else. Try to be the person you want to be, yet forgive yourself when you fail. But if you can forgive yourself you have to be able to forgive all others when they fail. For now forgive your past , because you have a present that needs the attention. Normally this is no big deal, we have our whole lives just to figure it all out. Through mostly trial and error we eventually figure out what life is about sometime before we die, even if it doesn't change things if we dont. Basically take some pressure off yourself where you can, and use that energy where it can help. I think important moments in life require a list. Make a list of the positives in your life, then make that list grow. Make a list of the negatives then deal with them and cross them out as you deal with them. Not necessarily eliminate them but you can lessen their impact on you as a whole. Sometimes you can do both at once, by forgiving someone who's actions piss you off , you not only eliminate the negative by not getting mad , you increase your positive by being a better person and forgiving them. Not that you can let them push you around, as it says in the Prayer for the Stressed It takes 34 muscles to frown , but only three to raise a middle finger and say BITE ME. Anyway it's` sliced I know I can't afford to spend the next year holding on to my problems, and I was kidding about only used to be depressed it's a battle,in the brain that sometimes you win, sometimes you lose , but mostly it feels good just to break even. For me my best weapons are to keep my self busy, If I have a project , like say writing a huge letter, that is now a short story. Exercise helps too, you should try walking, (I'm kidding) I know you walk everywhere. Nowadays I seem to get low when I don't eat, so diet has to be involved. Think of it as the flu , if you prepare for the season, by increasing your vitamin intake like the big C you are far less susceptible to the bug. Meditation helps but more of in the long run, you can try giving yourself a trigger response implanting in your mind that when you feel It coming on your mind will instead go to your happy place. Anytime you are anyone wants to talk it over you know how to find me. I can honestly say I have felt your pain I think that helps. Then there is the Safe place, I will keep looking, as long as it isn't hurting us. Meaning at this time there are so many more important things to do , than to waste any time worrying about what might be. It's not healthy to give up on the present, even if it does affect our future. I wanted to get this in so here

I won't go into what I have found except to say we may be in some of the safest places already, or really that it isn't going to matter, meaning there might not be any safe place. Also meaning its probably more of a mental place than a physical site. As of this moment my concern is that I haven't made you happy, I know I wanted to build you a shelter, and it aint over yet as Yogi said It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Or until Elvis has left the building. We all know you cant get what you want, always , when we started this journey I figured the odds were next to impossible, only next , which considering isn't bad. What I didn't want was to make you sad, and for that I'll carry the scar , unless I can right myself with you. I'm sure it makes it worse that I have totally enjoyed this, and more importantly bonding with you. Which may be the biggest bright spot is that we two from really different worlds are now close friends and I'd love to keep that. I will keep looking , if there is a will theres is a way , as they say and we will find out. Look for me again in about a month, meantime remember if you get a shot take it. We never know whats around the corner till we look. Enjoy the moments when you can look for the things that make you happy, remember the trick now is to live as fully as we can. Its a long shot but remember you have a White underdog who cares deeply for you. Peace and Love Bryan.

And Now you done it you tell me your unhappy because thats the way you like it, theres nothing I can do about that I know theirs only one way to make peace with your past and all past. Once again its one simple, not easy word Fuckinforgetaboutit. Sure cherish your memories specially the ones you will use on your endless picnic. Remember though we build our hell out of the same place. Its smart to worry about the PTB and me, but don't you think I have something for them as well? They have only one reason to really mess with me besides there want to control all, and thats that I know them. I know they can only take two things from me my stuff and My freedom, and since we are all going to probably walk away from stuff in order to survive that leaves what they haven't stolen of my freedom. Not that I want to end up as some murderers girlfriend in a jail cell but that is about all they can do to me. As we know walls and bars do not a prison make. Most of us /all of us are free to a degree and most of our restrictions are made by us. They may make the laws but it is really we who decide to follow them or not. Lets put it this way for now ,, Ever heard of a leash law for mad dogs? Not that this is a threat you listening in bastards , their as in they 's best way to deal with me is to just leave me alone I have nothing they want plus I might just have rabies. I'm Going to use that for the next last? chapter of dear Yad. Anything that you want to get into it? I'm going to post it at least on my blog probably scribd too. I also have a customer/friend who now owes me for painting his house dirt cheap. He has a friend somewhere in the buisness, so theres a shot , yet there always is. I have never been much for beating dead horses , if one thing dont work move on theres so many other ways. Probably explains why I was never married Eh? That and I'm a jerk I guess. I can see me finishing the story I think it deserves it. I also think you getting a reliable connection to the net is a good idea. I'd still love to get you on my virtual couch , we could take turns being the patient. Who knows, I do not think the lizards will let me fly out of this country, but if they did I would like to at least visit you in Sky. As for as it goes I was probably at least born as third world as you, but ever since I have done alright. I have never had a lot of money or a fancy job to worry about losing. Its always been me to live on the beautiful abundance of the Great Provider, who likes to keep it close ,so you know to appreciate it when it comes. In other words I'm pretty much low class, its a lot harder to get around in the world as you know , without dough. As Woody Guthrie said you got to have the

Dough Rae Me. Especially Australia they tolerate Americans only if they have enough money to spend to make it worth the hassle. Nice place though and I can't blame them at all. As we know I hope that people are people wherever you go, it may be from a song but I have found it to be very true so far. Anyway I wanted to get this too you before I started back on the story. I know its tough and going to get tougher, especially if that is what we expect and accept. ` December 25, 2011 Dear Yad, Its weird that I got hung up on the end of the world, I mean I dont even believe in endings, it's always just changings. When or if our story ends their will be another one to take it's place. You my friend are the story, and always was it's important to remember that, in fact you should almost embrace it. Good and bad we are all stories to be told even if it's only to ourselves. I always consider myself Unique and I consider you very Unique, I in no way think that's a bad thing. From your last post when you talk about the visitors to your mountain you talked about regretting the lack of any true doomers. Truth is I have never met another 2012er in person. I've maybe given a lot of people something to think about but lets face it in the world of doom you most often go it alone. Or as you put it living in the Land of No is a quite lonely place. Solitude, By Ella Wheeler Wilcox 1919 Laugh and the world laughs with you, Weep and you weep alone. For this sad old earth must borrow it's mirth, But has trouble enough on it's own. Sing and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on the air. The echoes bound to a joyful sound, but shrink from voicing care. Rejoice and men will seek you; Grieve and they turn and go. They want full measure of all your pleasure; But they do not need your woe. Be glad and your friends are many, be sad and you lose them all. There are none to decline your nectared wine, But alone you must drink life's gall. Feast, and your halls are crowded; Fast and the world goes by. Succeed and give, and it helps you live; But no man can help you die. There is room in the halls of pleasure for a long and lordly train but one by one we must all file on, through the narrow aisles of pain. Laugh and the world laughs with you . Kind of wish I'd of said that. I'm lucky though I dont really like crowds anyway. Since I'm giving you other peoples advice or writing , a fave song I like to do is Oh lord its hard to be humble, when your perfect in every way. Some people call me a loner, a cowboy outlaw tough and proud. I could have a lot of friends if I wanted, but then I wouldn't stand out in a crowd. But we were talking about you, or were we? Maybe what I'm talking about is just a phase in the natural lifespan of a doomer. Of course you lose your connection with your old world as you face a new world, the more the future controls you the less reason you have to want to reconnect with your now lost world.

How can they not see what you do? I think on this point Jesus actually said it best because he surely seen it clearist. Them that have Eyes but do not see, ears but do not hear? I often feel sorry for him I think your supposed to. Maybe it's because I'm a White Underdog But I can now see where he went wrong. Yes he made a mistake , if not more than one. Once again I don't blame him , or judge him he simply lived his life the best he could, with what he had. And he made for himself a huge job, trying to change the world. Why did he want to change it? Nobody ever asks that, they just assume the world needed changing. Why because he was a doomer, maybe the greatest doomer ever. I think he seen how the way mankind was living would lead to there soon destruction. He saw the PTB trying to take over the whole world. He saw religion as some out of control money mind Brainwashing system designed to keep the masses in line. He even saw how banksters and the corporate machine treated We the poorer and the land they used for resource. All for a profit of course. Whats funny and it is funny, were still in the same boat he was. Only the boat is a lot leakier now, and getting crowded, Oh and really starting to smell. I mean face it he might of thought it was doomy then, but he's got nothing on us now does he? I even agree with him on some policies, specially non-violence it's still the way. He knew if his We the People were to revolt they'd get killed , I think that even more so now, I mean My We the people are among the more armed citizens in the world , yet we are no match for what they have , it's math, and it does kill. Why fight if your going to die for it? He more or less said that and then did not practice what he preached. Now if your reading this besides Yad, this will obviously seem blasphemous, well I'm sure as I've said before if there's a hell I'm pretty much going there anyway , so what do I care. A good point is I figure I will have to look the Man in the face if the worst I ever done is speaking the truth as I see it, I will be doing a whole lot better than most of you. Well not you personally, besides judging isn't my thang. Okay here's the blasphemy, he didn't end very well. Actually he ended exactly how he always thought he would. He at least helped in his own doom. I mean he was in the very least enlightened, and I would say very enlightened for his age and thats always been a rub with me at thirty look at us, what we now adjusted for life spans considered early middle aged. At best and with a lot of work we realize just how much we will never know. Its also the time we learn to believe that everything is a lie. He knew that as all enlightened ones do. Point is he could of used a little more aging, I think he bought his own press. Did he find out with his last breath that he was indeed mortal? Oh father why have thee forsaken me? He realized with his last breath that it actually was going to end with him hung to a cross. Maybe I think at first and I'm sure he realized later that his We the People were not going to unite in the cause of freeing him. I'm sure it made him bitter to think after all he had done for them , they couldn't even get up a bribe to payoff the guards, let alone protest or grab their swords and forcibly remove him from the cross. I think he was right there, but I wasn't there so once again no judging. You know he wasn't expecting like the country as a whole for long but what about his friends, what about all the people he did miracle's for. Maybe he thought it would be a good test for the multitudes he was always feeding. Even his family who ran a respected construction company You dont think he wondered how come His Step dad didn't set up a fund to buy him off the cross? You could do that back then, it wasn't that uncommon , just bribe the guards to take a long lunch. They probably tried in the first couple of days but he was like all no I'll wait for my peoples to come and get me down. Not judging but big mistake. All in all I think he took his end pretty well. I mean I'd of said a whole lot worse than why have you forsaken me. I think though in retrospect if he would of thought about it he would of handled things a little differently. Not for himself mind you everybody has to go sometime and rarely do we get to choose our fate. A better way to put it is as W. C. fields said All things considered I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

It's not easy facing doom is it? A lot of better than us have tried and failed. In that context I only hope to bravely face, with like courage and conviction to a cause. If I had one that would be acceptable because it's just a circle of lives. I'll just get them next time. Unfortunately cause isn't the bad word it's because. Mostly we will all die due to because, because we did what we done , well get what we get. A life and death of because and consequence. As a doomer I see people dying of because all the time. Because someone walks into a street at just the wrong time , they get hit by a bus. In almost all deaths by because, the common thread is not paying attention. Or in our case not doing the things we need to do because. Most of the masses can say they died because they had eyes but did not see, but what will my excuse be? Fortunately we don't really need an explanation. Plus I feel that long ago in the creations of the habits we have we sealed our fates. When we become predictable this shapes our behavior and thus the future is set. You have to think that any step we don't take on the way to getting hit by our bus could alter that future, right up to the last one we could of stopped or looked or turned left instead. Or even stayed home that day. But we never do, and I guess never will. On the bright side fate wouldn't be much of a threat if all we had to do was change it. Back to Jesus his mistake, because he tried to wake up the people. I wont fall for that one, he should of known that them that know , know that they know, and them that dont know they don't know they dont know. Not to judge again but he rocked his boat and spent his life on people who never got what he was even saying. He had to of died thinking what a waste. The only thing wrong with that is he should of or could of thought Wow I really shook the world this life And as a doomer he is still the master and can give us all some kind of bizarre hope. See he thought the end was near then, and we made it like 2000 years since then I mean one if he could be wrong so could we. As a doomer myself I've learned to be happy when I'm wrong especially about disaster. I think in this case I'd be happy to find out it's all in my head,. I wish, that be the case but I cannot afford to live that way. Like all the space junk that missed us this year Next December could harmlessly fly by and we will move on to the next big worry. We have to prepare both short and long term for that possibility, mentally preparing to go on and on. Heres a thought maybe to be safe we could treat it like a holiday, just take a long vacation to like build a pyramid shelter and the throw a going away, Bon voyage world party. It goes into what Louise above said build a shelter and your a unibomber, throw a party and your a rockefeller.? If you want to save people that dont want to be said use some psychology throw the party to end all parties in a safe spot. Around here all I have to add is free food and I have a tribe. Make the party different for the individuals you want to come to the things that would excite them. In this case outright lying is acceptable including who will be at the party and even who is throwing it. Like I met and helped a rich person even celebrity , like you saved his cat one of his lives. something not too big, and he said he was having a party and I could come and bring whoever I wanted, why don't you come with me? Or if you need a longer time for them to get their make up a holiday around that time that you would really like having the family and friends together to celebrate. Now dont fake a terminal illness because karma can get you for that. But a false fall and fake cast will not land you in hell. Just don't get carried away. Don't they have something about Jesus going on at that time? Think you could fake a conversion , build it up over the year then get together a little early to celebrate the baby Jesus? Poor guy just like Solomon Grundy born on Sunday made wine on Monday gave bread on Tuesday. Arrested On Wednesday, tried on Thursday died on Friday this is the end of Solomon Grundy. But he does have a birthday at that time of year, at least Officially. It wouldnt be the first time to fake a holiday In his name. In fact the whole story that he was born on December 25, like they'd know. Guess what they are celebrating, thats right my dear Soltice invictus. The day of the in conquerable sun. Sounds a bit spooky considering if it is solar which I'd have to say

Good one Mayans. So easy they thought everyone would figure it out. Kinda too simple though. I did my reading on this what really makes it the holiday season is the ancient observance of the solstice. Maybe you could rediscover your sun roots, maybe we all will. Throw the sun a party. It is his day, the day of the unconquerable sun. Not to throw new theories at such a late date but we are due a new messiah or sun god or son of god. It is said that Jesus is basically an astrological age. Like Osiris and many others he rules over his age, and since we are moving into a new age /time-span it's supposed we will get a new sun of god. Not that he's scheduled for 2012 , but why not everything else will or could be happening then as always. All hail the new unconquerable son. Thank God we dont have that job. But we could call it a welcome the new boss party. Keep it upbeat if anyone asks you why theirs a giant dirt pyramid tell them you built it to honor the new son. Of course for Christians you might have to change the invitation to welcome back Old son , now new and improved son. Once again how can you not get excited? What a pity if as some people or most, proclaim nothing happens. First what can you consider as nothing.? Are we to believe it will just be a normal day , When was the last time you saw a day anything close to normal? Personally I wouldn't know normal if it bit me . That the Mayans ended their calender or not the world as we know it is in serious trouble, many times I think that anything that 2012 throws at us can't be much worse than what is naturally coming or for many already here. Its why it could represent something good, I mean I cant be the only one to think that a good 2012 would serve at least the PTB and their minions right. Not very holy man of me but I do believe in Karma, and they along with all pay a share. If this was just a welcome back Jesus day or even a ELE fly by I wouldnt even waste time thinking about it. In our lives we have probably averaged about two predicted ends of the world a year, so it's normal to get burnout on doom. As I've wrote they have been predicting The End since just after the beginning. You do have to consider the odds and the repercussions the next actions we make will have. I think selling everything you have, and telling everyone what you always thought about them, and moving to a new place to build a shelter and become a mountain man might be overdoing it. Not yet at least, I think now we need to get some faith and then keep it. A faith in the direction we take that we are on or at least see the path we think our life should be on , and as we go on the path will lead us into the life we want to have, in a place we want to be. Positive changes in our very personal lifes. I can see still a million ways I have to grow , things I have to learn, memories I want to have, plus there is tribe building. I remember reading about your dream tribe, a great idea giant brains working together to build a new world. Besides that for the most part big brains rarely build anything, they think it up and have a smaller brain do the actual work, tribe building is not as simple as who you invite to your endless picnic. A for instance Albert Einstein sounds like he would be a lot of fun at your picnic, for your tribe would you rather have a nuclear scientist or a farmer? A professor of aeronautics or a carpenter? The thing to look for is people that are willing to pull their own weight, being useful will be one of our best traits , and one we look for in others. Another difference between tribe and picnic is tribe like friends will mostly be circumstance. As you know You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your friends nose

I think most of the decisions on the tribe is decided by location, especially if you decide to join a group of survivors. You have the advantage of getting an already built tribe, the disadvantage is that makes them more like family, as in your stuck with them. That can be a scary thought considering the state of family life, we could end up leaving one crazy family , to join another. Not to mention they would be a tribe of people that think that the world as we know it is going to end. In a group like that laughs might be kind of hard to find. At least your smart enough not to come here. I can't really think of a ready made tribe I'd feel comfortable with. Well unless it was established before the European invasion. They like the critters are facing extinction, but we had some very well established tribes in the old homeland. I think since the Hopi legend says that if you join them and learn the old ways you'll survive the devastation for America they would be the logical ready made tribe to join. Other than them there is not a lot to choose from. I think you have to get a feel of the tone of the group. What is their direction and mood? I think 2012ers would have to be getting ready for anything. A bigger plus would be those concerned with 13 and beyond. It's not all collecting can food and bullets or debating just who the bullets are for. Now to pick on me for a bit . Change places on the couch. If you think it don't hurt your wrong. My feelings don't really matter, I am the typist for my imagination. It writes from the perspective that nothing is absolutely real nor impossible. Maybe that is what I tell myself to soften my landing in the reality that I am such a little man. It's funny how long I lived my life thinking I wasn't small the world was just really big. The big old world is a scary place, it is much easier to reduce it down to a size we can handle. I look for balance in this as with all things, somewhere in size is the best world for me. I think about the size of my world as I was born. I don't remember but I have been told about it enough that I kind of feel like I was there. Little bare ass boy crying in a hospital, think this is why we cry? We know what's coming? Anyway a very small world is where I started and probably where I will call it quits on. I think if I was good enough at mental manipulation I would tell myself that I actually live in many different sized worlds. I can see this, strange as it is I am a world , The world to all the little creatures living on and in my body. Do they have the same questions I have about the world they live on? I bet they see it as world in decline. They would see a lot of what I see. Their planet being destroyed by chemicals, and a misuse of resources by the PTB, which would be me. They like me are expected to trudge away at some job until they get to old or die. Without these little lives I would be dead, they do the maintenance on the inside's of me that keeps the body functional. Yet these millions of critters cant exist without me. I ask my self a question that has no answer, its good for me, makes me think Am I god to them, or merely a food source? Am I the great provider or am I what he gave them to live on? It's a beauty of a question because you can turn it around and wonder if this planet we live on asks the same question. I think this question helps me and you with all the other ends, I mean I know all my little buddies wont last long once I'm gone their world is pretty much over, with all that will be left is to reduce me/us into compost where the circle of life is continued. Let the worms have my bones. Let time turn us to dust, better yet use me as food for the next life. Back to my problem as you called it letting go. I'm sure I have already gone to far , but I know about letting go , just not how to end it well. Surely on my part I am relatively happy that I got this far. More so in life than in this story. In life I am a minor miracle or a series of little pieces of luck dished out with just enough hardship to make me appreciate how much worse it could have been. I've always said there was a man who cried because he had no shoes so I like to stay grateful that They haven't come for my feet. As you can see I should have no trouble in accepting the end, I live for it. I do hope that I will

end well as I hope the same for you and all. To each their own fate , it was very wrong of me to attempt to alter yours. Not that I haven't learned, it won't help you, but others will benefit that I learned enough to keep it to myself, if not keep to myself. Actually its got to be a balance , maybe next time I can at least wait for someone who wants help from me. Or needs it , I think if I learn something it would also be help not hurt. Maybe the less I help the better. Maybe I'll figure out what you wanted to say, the one who needs the help most is Planet Mad Underdog. Maybe you did say it and I'm just now getting it. Maybe my desire to help others is a misplacement of my failure to help myself. I mean there's so many thing wrong with Planet Me where would I start? And truly by now what would be the point of fixing it anyway. Maybe it's true the saying I could solve all your problems in 5 minutes , mine however will take a while. Think about it if we all solved everybody else's problems it would only take 5 minutes to fix the world. I don't believe in the end, though I see in time you can never go back, its always ending, so it's also beginning, so what are you going to do? As a naturalist I see how the end of one thing is the beginning of another, Its not pretty , but its the way it is. Sometimes brutal this cycle is always amazing , from how we spin in space and get heat and light from a star to the little critters that eat the things that my body receives but doesn't want. Or little bitty platelets, bless there hearts that are so good at stopping the bleeding. They throw their lives away one by one until the bleeding stops or there is no blood left. I wish I had their selflessness yet I have to wonder about their brains. Maybe the PTB has them brainwashed into believing that for giving their lives they will go to single cell heaven. Or if my cells are Bhuttists they will recycle, maybe come back as a different body critter, Or maybe I lie to them tell the platelets that theirs a party on the other side, like as in The pool's open and the water's fine. Suckers well everybody has to go sometime , and I am trying to say goodbye. I am I guess in my ego trying to make sure you remember me. I knew the same as you when it was over , its just not one of my good points , letting go. I think in the short now moments you'll realize that it was for the better, If anything you could say You dodged a bullet on that guy. I truly hope that in the end you see that there is a whole bizzare , yet amazing world that is fairly funny, sometimes funny ha ha sometimes funny funny. Since I still don't believe in the end , I hope and believe that in your new beginnings you will choose well the paths you take and that all of them bring you joy, and personal peace. Keep your planet safe and your world happy. Personally I think I will be right on , I mean I will write on. Why not, I won't do this again, I promise, there is still a story to tell, I just might have to figure a way to tell it as it happens. Someday I'd like to be able to tell people about way back in the old days. It's not a big goal I mean all you really have to do is live long enough for things to totally change, then find people that will believe or at least listen to you tell them how it was back then. Maybe I will find an audience, If I do I hope I have something worth saying , for that I hope that you will not give up on me at least as your source of doom. I think you have figured out that what makes me enlightened is that I think I am or might be. Whats beautiful and funny is that it works . Yet doesn't matter because I know that it doesn't. Which is also a beautiful thing I may be a planet to a cell but I'm a cell to the universe, if that. So I guess I'm feeling small but I still will dream big ,. I have yet begun to dream and prepare , and look and find my moments. If there are any big truths I will try to pass them on to anyone who listens or reads. Mostly because of my hard time at letting go.