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Edited the header to match MLA format.

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Noted that this is the revision.

Emanuel Newsome Borerro ENGLISH 1101-068 Genre Defense Essay (Revision)

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In revising the Defense Essay, I work on xing the following: Introductions and Conclusions of paragraphs Depth of defense Word Choice Commentary for support of choices Sentence Structure (Flow) I made other changes throughout the revision that are also annotated.

Being able to tell others how you feel, defend your opinion on a subject, and reading your favorite books can display the importance of literacy in your life. To describe the importance of literacy to me, I composed a short story that paralleled my growth in literacy, using my sponsors as the connecting factors that aided me in the journey upwards from the depths of illiteracy. The point of writing this essay is to defend my reasons behind choosing to express my narrative as literature, as well as to describe the development of my story and the connections it has to my literacy. In choosing a genre to express the narrative, I looked back on my history of writing. As a kid, my focus in writing was short stories that usually depicted a hero saving someone, or that hero adventuring into the unknown to make it to a grand place of fantasy. In my short story, I was the hero on a journey, but not to some far away, fairytale land. The journey was to find myself through the expression of my thoughts and finding a way to articulate them with precision and eloquence. Choosing to write a based on true events story seemed an adequate decision, but the best decision based on my experience with story writing. The main reason behind choosing to write a story was that I felt the most comfortable with it. Writing has always come easy to me, especially when it comes to making fiction stories paralleling my life. Another reason for choosing this genre was that I have the most inspiration for writing it. I once wrote a

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I removed the sentence From the time I could speak literacy was a major part of my life, because it took away from the feeling of reection in the essay. With that, I edited the second sentence (making it the opener.)

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I replaced detail with describe for a beter word choice.

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Switched out wrote for composed.

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I swapped out the last part of the sentence with the aid of teachers (or sponsors), and a journey upwards from the depths of a pit, with using my sponsors as the connecting factors that aided me in the journey upwards from the depths of illiteracy, for clarity and better structure

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Replaced making up with short to clarify the focus.

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Replaced my with the.

story based on my younger sister having tumors in her leg. Writing this when I was about 12, I 12/6/12 10:35 AM
I changed up the wording to make use of the new evidence to support my choice.

gave it a happy ending, with her getting a new, flesh and blood leg and everything going back to normal. Thinking back on that inspires me to write fictional stories and is what motivated me to write a short story for the project. Constructing this story was not as difficult as it seemed. To gradually make it to the end, I chose to incorporate my literacy sponsors as guides that lead me to the finish, a finish that

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Removed which was.

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Took out upward because of the double statement of moving up.

doesnt truly exist in my story. The focus of the story was that I was trapped in a pit of darkness, a metaphor for my being trapped in a cocoon of illiteracy. The journey to the top and evolving aspects represented my aging, slowly garnering more knowledge about writing and my own style of writing. Each sponsor, though I grouped together Gotye and John Legend, was represented as a different aspect incorporated into my current style that aided me in getting past obstacles along the journey. In constructing this, I felt that my illiteracy was drowning me, so to depict this I arranged the story so that my sponsors embodied features one would find in an ocean. My father, the main force behind me in the story, was presented as a recurring current that guided me up and every-so-often reminded me that he was there for support. My musical literacy sponsors, Gotye and John Legend, were represented by a sound that enveloped me. My musical sponsors provided insight on how to express my emotions in my writing, as they did in their songs, . And finally, my English teacher, Mrs. Beatty, who instilled precision and concise thoughts to get a point across, was represented by a key. In putting these pieces together to form story, I found myself questioning how to describe each sponsor. I figured some simple metaphors would suffice, but in rereading each segment I wanted to add more and more. Though not a full blown novel, each sponsor, including their

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Change up of the sentence to give better ow and clarity.

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To clarify how the sponsors helped me to the end of the journey.

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Added to defend my point of making my sponsors oceanlike manifestations.

teachings, was depicted as a part of me. The father instilled the need to keep pushing myself forward and not be totally independent. Gotye and John Legend, both of whom I listen to frequently, helped me understand the purpose in tapping into ones emotions to really connect with what your writing. Writing void of tone and feeling has no purpose, and therefore, is meaningless. My English teacher, Mrs. Beatty, helped me to get to the point of writing. Before I would write lengthy sentences. She taught me that less words and more concise sentences can be 12/6/12 10:35 AM
Conciseness to concise sentences for ow.

just as, if not more, effective in defending a point as fancy, long sentences. Once I understood what each sponsor meant to me and my literacy, I came up with ways of describing them in my story. One part of writing my story that I became stuck on was the kind of tone I wanted to evoke. Did I want the overall feeling to be depressing, in that the journey to literacy is never ending? Or did I want to give it an uplifting feel, that learning about your own style over a period of time can be satisfying and justifies the lengthiness of gaining knowledge. I thought about how writing is a mix of emotions, in that sticking to one can get tiresome and boring. I also pondered different texts that I had previously read, like the Harry Potter series and a few novels by Stephen King. Although they had chunks of one emotion is certain parts, you didnt feel the same way throughout the entire book. Some areas were light and happy, and others were sad or fueled by anger. I didnt want to have the typical story tone of happy-go-lucky, nor did I want a totally gloomy tale. I found that making a mix of somber and elated tones got my point across thoroughly. Once I had the tone figured out, I went about proofing my story and putting

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Could to came for tense correction in context of the sentence.

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I removed turned out well because it was just restating that what I did went well.

on the finishing details to complete it.

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Added be to ll the missing word in between can and playful.

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Rearranged a content requirement, for better ow.

In choosing what genre to employ for my narrative, I thought of what makes a story. Normally, they can be playful, but they can also be serious when using the right words. With it being fictional, there is no set limit on how much you can and have to write, as well as there not being a requirement on the kind of content. Meaning that there arent any blocks on what you use for your story. Another good thing about writing in fiction is that you can be cryptic with your wording of something or your description of a person or event, and still be able to get your point across, but you have to deal with how society interprets your writing. Lastly, based on the amount of detail you use, you can give the reader something to visualize, so as to picture the events as they take place in your story. There are limitations on using a story to express a narrative. Because you can be cryptic, the way you word something could be too vague and the reader could lose the meaning you tried to pursue. Because it is all text, and depending on how you word it, the reader might not get the image you sought for them to imagine. There are also limitations on how one views the importance of this genre. Generally, stories are seen as childlike and not as relevant when describing factual events, therefore, it would not appeal to everyones deep and meaningful side. Even with the limitations on this genre, I chose to use it because it connected more with me than other types.

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Swapped use for imagine for better ow.

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I shorted ctional story to ction for conciseness.

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Changed up the wording ...with how you word something or how your describe... to x the grammar of the your and to better the ow of the sentence.

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...Across your point... to ...your point across... to sound better and clarity.

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...and still be able to get your point across without it conicting with a societal interpretation of what you said, to ...but you have to deal with how society interprets your writing. I ipped this parts meaning because writing in ction can impact how others view it and if they get the intended meaning.

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I removed the paragraph in between because it was only reiterating what was said previously and served no other purpose.

The only drawback from choosing this genre was that I could not include concrete details from my life within the story, like dates. I also chose not to include the names of my sponsors so as to give the story more of an ethereal feel to it, that it was more of a fantastical source of my

aid rather than ordinary people. Doing so may have lessened the effect that using actual names would have given, but it did, however, give the story some ambiguity and broaden the spectrum from which one can draw encouragement and faith. With choosing to write a short story to express my thoughts on my literacy, I think I chose well. In expression, it is about sharing what you feel in the most comfortable and you way there is. Though writing stories wasnt the most prominent figure in shaping my literacy, like my father or my teacher, nonetheless it did shape how I view literacy and others work. I 12/6/12 10:35 AM
Added it for structural purposes.

didnt write a fancy autobiography canvasing my changes in literacy from day one to the present. What I did do was recount how my style was shaped using a method that best fit me.