________________+-------------------------------------------+_______________

______________| - 40 Ways to Sabotage Your School |_____________ ______________|-------------------------------------------|_____________ ________________| Donated by: Cosmic Charlie & The Doctor |_______________ +-------------------------------------------+ ============================================================================ What follows is one of the most irresponsible exercises in free speech I have ever seen. It was first printed in 1968 by some high school kids in America's industrial heartland and most recently (in English at any rate) in England after the riots there in 1982. Of course I reprinted it for purely educational purposes - just to show you how irresopnsible free speech can get. I take no responsibility for the actions of individuals who use this text. Now that we got all the bullshit out of the way here are the 40 ways I've been telling you about. ============================================================================ 1. 2. Put a rotten apple or stale sandwich in the teacher's desk. Steal the attendance book. Add in and rub out ticks, and replace or just burn it. Same goes for unguarded conduct sheets or reports. Don't miss your chance. Fill a syringe (minus needle) with mixed epoxy & alcohol. 30 minutes to fill locks, etc., before the glue hardens. use cement, super glue or even bits of wood, nails, etc. 4. You now You can also

3. have

Another use of the syringe is to pretend to shoot up when the teacher is watching. Explain that that you have to do it because school is so horrible. Phone the school at random times. Try flood, fire or bomb warnings. Disguise your voice and hold a handkerchief over your mouth.

5.

6. Pretend to have food poisoning (after lunch break). Get lots of people to join in. Roll on the floor, or get sick by pushing your fingers down your throat. Try it in assembly. With luck you can start general panic. 7. 8. 9. Draw or paint slogans on roll down maps or slide screens. are best. Obscenities

Hand out notices to new pupils telling them which teachers are nasty ...and why. Bad food? Have a good old fashioned food riot.

10.

Organize massive searches for "lost" contact lenses in gym class or in hallways between classes. Don't let anyone walk through the hall as they might step on it. Pretending you've lost something is a good cover for all kinds of subversive behavior. If you still have to wear uniforms, try wearing them back to front in protest. Dare boys & girls to wear each other's uniforms. If this doesn't work, try a blanket protest. Try political games. School is 12 years brainwashing without trial. Slowdowns, work to rules, strikes and occupations are fun. But don't let leaders or ego trippers speak for you. Get everyone to bring in all their pets to school to show the teacher. Write down a list of all the stupid rubbish or rules you have to learn & hand it out on sports day or open day. Now & then get loads of students to rush to the office to get a rumor confirmed or denied. Make a citizens arrest on your worst teacher. Drag him/her in front

11.

12.

13. 14. 15. 16. of

the class and put him/her on trial for rotting the minds of youth. 17. from Rip off dishes and silverware from the cafeteria, office equipment the office, paint & other art materials from the art room, light bulbs from the sockets, toilet paper from the jacks, etc.,etc. Donate them to yourselves or local anarchist group. 18. 19. 20. they use more nitrate to make 'em burn faster. Toss the fuse in a waste bin, or anywhere with lots of burnables. The office is best. Wait 5 minutes. Call alarm yourself to avoid any "accidents." Practice at home first. 21. want Throw out the teacher and decide for yourselves what, how, why you to learn. Spread the action to other classes and other schools, this happened in Paris back in 1968. 22. 23. night 24. Have gigantic coughing and sneezing fits in class or in assemblies. Find out your teacher's and principal's addresses and go there at and spray anti-school slogans on their walls. Rub glue, lipstick, vaseline, or shit on the doorknobs of the officies During lunch break turn on and light all gas taps in the science lab. Make sure your not caught at this prank & try a good disguise. Get everyone to demand to see their school records files, because everyone else (police, social workers, etc.) is allowed to see them. Make a fuse by sticking a cigarette between the two rows in a match book. Non-filter cigarettes are good but marlboro are best 'cause

of the headmasters, principals, or on the teachers' toilets. 25. Pick up some dog training liquid at a pet store (it smells like concentrated piss) and if you can't figure out what to do with that then shouldn't be reading this. Intercept the teacher's mail. or interesting. Pass around, copy anything confidential

26. 27. 28. 29. 30.

Impersonate angry parents phoning up the school. Try complaining that a nasty teacher has been having sex with little Johnny. Don't go to school. Sick notes are no problem to copy. better ways to spend your time. Think of

Make a super stink bomb out of hydrogen-sulfide and put it in the school's ventalation system. This has cleared schools for days. If your school has suspended ceilings (that is ceilings composed of rectangles or squares that can be pushed up) you can put dead fish or anything else above them. Try dead fish in a disused locker and glue up the lock. When you get the staff totally neurotic and paranoid, put out notes hints that "Tuesday is the day."

31. and 32.

With a new teacher change names in roll call, so that he/she can never figure out who everyone is.

33. Get your school library a subscription to any underground/anarchist/sex oriented newspaper and insist that they make it availible to pupils. 34. 35. Get school note paper and type out letters to teachers firing or suspending them. Soon they won't know what to believe.

Do some revolutionary wall spraying. Recipe.. Spray cans or paint and brush, look out, a little imagination and courage. Write your favorite slogan on walls, billboards, blackboards, floors, et cetera. A stencil is nice though limits size. You'd best wear gloves or you'll get telltale paint on your hands. 36. Copy and hand out a sheet with the names and house phone numbers of teachers on it. Now people can ring up anytime if punishments don't stop. Say 3 a.m. for instance, say you're the mafia or keep sending police, plumbers, coffins, et cetera to their house. Get hold of a film to be shown at school, and splice in bits of your own making, then return it unnoticed. Wizard wheezes for technical wizards, like bugging the teachers toilets and hooking up the results to the school loudspeaker system. Clog up all drains with clay, paper, etc., then flush all toilets and

37.

38.

turn on all taps. 39.

Instant swimming pool.

Stick up anonymous posters around the school.

40. Always carry an awl (available at any hardware store) or sharpened screwdrivers. Puncture teachers tires by pushing through the sidewall (it goes through eaisly) while pretending to tie your shoelace. Practice at night on the tires of any rich dude's car. Do at least two tires so that the spare doesn't help. For real nasties and cops, army, and politicians, add sugar and/or sand to the gas tank. The claw of a hammer will remove most locked gas caps, or use your awl and hammer, tap a hole in the gas tank, light and run!

============================================================================ H O W T O H I D E F R O M by: amorphous ````````` INTRODUCTION ~~~~~~~~~~~~ This file will give you very specific ideas of where and how to hide things from your parents. Enjoy. WHERE ~~~~~ 1) Get a big box and fill it with baseball cards. between them. 2) Hide stuff under a plant in a pot in your room. 3) Cut out pages inside a book and put stuff inside. 4) Behind posters on your wall. 5) Punch a hole in the wall and put stuff inside. poster. 6) Tape stuff under your table. 7) Tape stuff UNDER a draw in your desk. 8) Put stuff in a CD case, in a tape case, or between a big picture frame. 9) Tape stuff inside a smoke detector. WHEN YOU NEED LOTS OF ROOM ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cover it up with a Put your stuff in T H I N G S Y O U R P A R E N T S

1) Take apart the back of a clock that hangs on the wall, put stuff inside, and put it back together again. 2) Cut open the bottom of your trash basket, raise it up, and put stuff underneath. (Do the same thing to a kleenex box. 3) Get a whole bunch of small boxes, fill them up with your belongings, stack them, but leave one or two empty in the back for your other stuff. 4) Put stuff in your bag next to your shlong or your boot. Sorry this file is so short right now. But, there will be more to come. I'm just on too much weed right now. Have phun.

Ultra 15 Sinister X #2 @5211 Sat Nov 16 04:47:24 1991 |||||| |||||| || || || || || || || || || || |||||||| |||||||| || || || || |||||||||| || || || || |||||| ||||||

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Underground Legion of Terroristic Research Activists Sinister X --Agent Cyclone --Drug Lord

============================================================================= == 06-20-1991 Well, the group has been going for about 3 months now, and we are getting a lot of positive mail about our files. It is nice to hear that a lot of evil minds exist out there. I would like to thank Dredd for the idea for this file. Mental Torture -------------by: Drug Lord There are plenty is through physical place. However, and do a hell of therapy). of ways to scare the fuck out of someone. The easiest way

violence. Kicking their ass might just put them in their there are many times when you can fuck with someone's brain, a lot more damage (plus they end up having to pay for

It depends on how you want to mentally fuck someone up. ways of getting through.

Here are some key

First off, it isn't a good idea for the person to know who you are. In other words you don't want to do this shit to a girl you dumped the day before. It would be only SLIGHTLY obvious who was doing this. You also want to always keep out of sight and make sure that nothing can be traced back to you. If this person you are fucking with knows who you are, then they will just call a pig and get your ass hauled in. The most obvious thing to do would be the phone calls. These would need to be done from a pay-phone. Make sure it is in a quiet place. If you call from your local mall, then it just ruins the moment. Also, calling at night adds that extra little "touch". You don't want to say much. Just say something about how they are going to die. Death of course is the scariest thing for people to think about. QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE HARD TO KILL: "Anticipation of death is worse than death itself". This holds very true. People are afraid to die and this is the best way to screw with someone's mind. Do not make a lot of harassing phone calls, especially with the new features that the Bell services have added. Letters in the mail do a nice job too. It goes without saying that you don't put a fucking return address. (If I didn't say that, then some 13 year old kid would be crying when he got caught. "But mommy...Drug Lord didn't TELL me not to put a return address." Anyway. Make sure your handwriting won't be recognized. You can do the old trick by cutting out letters of words in magazines and pasting them on a piece of paper, but that usually takes too long. Hell, just type the message on your computer. The lettering off of typewriters can be traced so that they can tell which type of typewriter it came from. You shouldn't take any unnecessary risks. In the letters you can say general stuff like "How does it feel knowing your about to die?", and "You had better watch your back, because you're about to die." Then you can go for the family pet. This is where the real mental torture begins. Many people would die without their pet. The best way to kill their pet is to take as much blood as you can. If pooch is out in the dog-house (at night of course), then offer the dog some food, and keep it quiet. Then you can either take a large knife and slice it's throat, or use a sledgehammer to crush its skull. The only problem is that the dog will probably yelp and squeal. Due to this, you can take pooch for a walk clear away from the house, and just bring a trash bag to throw the dog into after you are through. Now what you do is you take a rope and make a noose. Hang the dog by its neck at the front or back door. When they open the door to get some fresh morning air, they will find their lovable pooch slaughtered. You can even take some of pooch's blood for future use, or you can use some of it to write messages on the doors and the windows. You can do this with rabbits (remember Fatal

Attraction), cats, and whatever lovable creatures that they have. Hell, if you have enough balls...hang their little brother or sister from the fucking porch. Hehe, that would be a good one! The idea is to terrorize your victim as much as possible. You can do little drive-bys where you can smash out windows in their houses with large rocks or other things. If you continue with this for a long time, you will eventually be caught unless you are truely sly. That is why it shouldn't last any more than a week. The calls from DIFFERENT phone booths, and the letters can continue, but going near their house night after night would make you pretty stupid. Also try to find out where the people work. Not just your victim, but the others that live with this person. Make some calls to where they work, and make sure they know that you will find them no matter where they go. Now you can take your extra blood and do a job on their car windows at work. By this time, they will be scared shitless. Feel free to use your own ideas as well. Just remember to be careful and not to let them know who you are. That could cause some serious legal shit for you. Have fun fucking with the minds of others. Drug Lord U L T R A -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==I, Drug Lord, am not responsible if people use these tactics to fuck with the minds of others. Hell, my mind is fucked as it is, so I don't have to worry. **ATTENTION** ULTRA is looking for members and distribution sites. For more information on this, contact either Sinister X or myself, and we'll give you the info that you need. To get ahold of us, be sure to call Blitzkrieg. Hall of Injustice has gone down for the summer, but will supposedly be back in the fall. Pick up ULTRA at the following locations: Blitzkrieg - (502) 499-8933 Labotomies 'R' Us - (413) 773-7676 __/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__ | \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ | | DRAGON'S TOUCH | | weaknesses of the | | human anatomy | | | | by: | | Hei Long | | | |_/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\_| \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ Part I

Strikes to the Head and Neck This volume (and the ones to follow) concentrates on the 43 major pressure points of the body. Of course, there are quite a few more, but these are the basics. All of the points are classified into 2 catagories : Numerical I -brain/skull II -sense organs III-life support, cardiorespiratory, major organs & tracts organic IV -muscular functions & nerves V -mechanical functions, skeletal, cartilages & joints Alphabetical A-immobility from pain B-immobility from structural or organic damage C-Unconsciousness from nerve or damage D-death from physiological damage

The ventral transverse plane consists of the face, the front, top, & sides of the head, the neck, & the upper torso, including the collarbone. There are 15 pressure points in this area as follows: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. coronal suture I-C trigeminal nerve & frontal bone I-D temple & fossa temporalis I-D eyes II-B ears II-B mastoid II-A septal cartilage II-A or II-D anterior nasal spine I-A temporomandibular joint V-A tip of mandible I-C sternocleidomastoid region III-D anterior neck region III-D brachial plexus & trapezius muscle IV-C suprasternal notch III-D clavicle V-B

1: This region lays on top of the head, more towards the forehead. It is also known as the soft spot on babies. It is the space between the skull bones that is covered with a membrane that close up usually by 18 months, but the coronal structure is still weaker than the rest of the skull. Directly beneath this is the sensory portion of the brain & under that the optic cavity. A downward strike of about 45 degrees depending on the force could cause concussion, temporary blindness, unconsciousness, brain hemorrhage, even death (very powerful blow). 2: This region is located just below the centermost point of the forehead The nerve is on the outside of the skull thus when the bone is struck it will trap the nerve. This could result in jarring the cerebral hemispheres, concussion, unconsciousness, impaired vision, & paralysis. If and only if maximum impact is applied, death could result from brain hemorrhage. 3: I'm sure we all know where the temple is but for those of you that don't

know it is located on a horizontal plane across from the top of the ear. It is the recessed part on each side of the head. It is actually the bone tip of the sphenoid. The trigeminal nerve runs through the the temple. This nerve controls several facial functions. Also passing through is the middle meningeal artery which is the largest branch suppling dura matter. A direct hit could break the tip off the sphenoid causing it to enter the brain. The meningeal could burst. Contact to the trigeminal could result in loss of control of facial functions. Compression of the brain, hemorrhage, concussion, shock, & death are likely results of striking the temple with a horizontal blow directed towards the opposite temple. 4: The eyes are located...uh I think you know. The eyes are very sensitive even to the slightest touch. They are held in by fascia bulbi (a soft membrane) and eye muscles. This makes them easy to pop out. They are also very soft, and if a blow reached the vitreous body (center of eye) the eyeball would collapse. Other than causing temporary or permanent loss of sight a deep thrust could puncture the brain causing death. These are located on each side of the head. Air is easily trapped in the external acoustic meatus (the tunnel from the outer ear to the inner ear) and forced into the eardrum causing it to bust. This in turn ruptures the hammer or malleus within the middle ear. Damages would cause severe pain, loss of hearing, bleeding from the mouth and ear, and bleeding into the throat via the internal auditory tube. Also, the inner ear is the center equilibrium (balance) for the cerebellum. a forceful strike could leave the victim sprawled on the ground with no balance! The blow should be delivered horizontally driving into the ear. 6: The mastoid is located directly behind the earlobe. It is the recessed area where the skull meets the neck. It is filled with air pockets which are used to communicate with the middle ear. A thrust should not be used; rather apply pressure with a nuckle or thumbnail in an upward direction. Prolonged pressure could cause damage to the auditory system. 7: Known more commonly as the nose the septal cartilage is the had substance that makes up the nose. Two strikes are used here for different measures II-A : a horizontal strike causing breakage of the septal cartilage and nasal bone which ruptures the angular vein producing a lot of blood along with great pain, however, not enough to stop some attackers II-D : an upward 45 degree strike forcing the septal cartilage through the internal nasal cavity and crista galli (a small bone formation between the nasal cavity & the brain) into the brain. Death would be instantaneous because of compression of the brain.

5:

of

8: This is located beneath the nose and above the lips. It is the area between the 2 lines running from the nose to upper lip. Many of the facial nerves run through this area. A direct hit would cause the sensory fibers to relay the shock to the pons, causing dizziness. A hit would also cause damage to the maxilla bone which holds the gums & teeth. This could cause extensive bleeding posibly scaring the victim about the blood loss. A straight blow in needed to achieve this aiming towards the back of the head. 9: This is the joint that holds the jaw bone in place. It connects with the skull in front of the ear. The joint is really made up of 2 separate joints, thus dislocation can be unilateral or bilateral. With a 45 degree downward strike (preferably with the mouth open) will dislocate the mandible (jaw bone). An easier way to break the bone is to strike the joint itself or anywhere on the jaw bone really while the head is turned to one side or the other. This reduces the absorbtion of the blow by the neck. This method requires the least amount of force. 10: The madible is the jaw bone and of course the tip is located on the very end of the chin. Boxers use this point for a quick K.O. Hitting this area sends a shock snesor to the cerebellum causing unconsciousness. Hit this point with an upward blow. 11: This is the area at the frontal sides of the neck. The sternocleidomastoid muscles run from behind the ear down to the clavicle bones. Beneath these muscles lie the jugular vein and cartoid artery which supply blood to the heart & brain. This are is very sensitive. Try poking yourself there. A medium strike results in dizziness. A more forceful blow could blister, swell, collapse, or burst 1 or both of the blood lines. This could easily cause death because of lack of oxygen to the heart or brain. A strike should be done on an upsloping plane at 45 degrees on either side of the chin in the neck area. 12: Referred to as the windpipe or throat; is located in the center portion of the neck. This is a tubular passage running from the mouth to the stomach & lungs. When a straight on blow is delivered the thyroid cartilage (Adam's apple(the lump in your throat)) and the hyaline cartilage (hold the windpipe in a cylinder shape) are pushed through the larynx and/or trachea resulting in blood drowning or partial or complete obstruction of the vital air passages. The cartilages act as cutting devices. 13: The muscle is the one that runs from the base of the neck to the shoulder. It raises up on most people. The brachial plexus is a nerve center which supplies info about the shoulder & arm down to the wrist. It runs through the trapezius. Striking the trapezius (from either front or back) with a downward 45 degree motion could paralyze the arm & shoulder temporarily. With a maximun blow unconsciousness & paralysis could be attained.

14: This lies between the collarbones; it connects them. A blow here could dislodge the collarbones from the sternum, collapsing the shoulders. But there are better targets behind the sternum. Such as the aorta, the superior vena cava (major blood lines to the brain), and the trachea all these pass directly behind the sternum. A forceful blow would follow these reactions : dislodge both clavicles from the sternum, the sternum would split, the 2 clavicles & sternum would be forced against or puncture the aorta and vena cava, the cartilages & bones would then be forced against or puncture the trachea. The strike should be delivered at a downward 45 degree angle. The suprasternal notch is a MAJOR death target. 15: This is the bone on each side of the body that runs from the shoulder to the center of the chest. It supports the shoulder so breaking a clavicle (collarbone) would result in the collapse of the shoulder. It is possible for the broken bone to puncture a lung or possibly the heart or one of the things mentioned in #14. A simple break would immobilize the victim due to structural damage & pain. An inward & down motion should be used when attacking also at 45 degrees. That concludes Part I. I hope you have learned from this lesson in human anatomy. Please use this information wisely for I take no responsibilities in the misuse of these facts. This was intended for informational purposes only. That mean I don't really expect you to go out and beat the hell out of someone (unless they need it!). Further volumes : Part II-Strikes to the back Part III-Strikes to the chest & abdomen Part IV-Strikes to the groin & leg fronts Part V-Strikes to the coccyx & leg backs

FILE:

HOW TO CHEAT AT SCHOOL TESTS- BY: THE DATA BLITZ

I'm sure that you have cheated, bu there are a few quesions involved here. What method did you use? Were you caught? And, how successful were you? In this tutorial, I hope to do the following things for you: 1) Perhaps show you some new methods. 2) How not to get caught. 3) And, when to use what method. The first thing that you want to keep in mind when you are going to cheat, is "don't get caught." The reason for this is, not just because of the fact of being caught, but also being able to get away with it without arousing suspicion. Here are some methods of which to use: PEN-DROPPING ROUTINE- If you can't get the answer, you'll want to get it from someone who knows it. So try this, drop your pen on the ground, and glance up

at the person's paper on your way back to your desk. CRIB-NOTES- This is one of the most familiar ones. small piece of paper, and keep it in your hand.

(Easy cheat!) Write the answers on a

POCKET-CHEAT- This is basically the same as the crib notes one, but you keep the paper in a shirt pocket (open) and hav it you can glance down and peek an answer. LEG-SPREAD CHEAT- I'm not sure, but I think that I may have made this one up. It's very simple. All you have to do, is write the answers on a piece of paper, and put it between your legs. When you need and answer, spread em'!! CODE-CHEAT- This is very similar to all of the rest of them. You write the answers in a coded form of which you can only understand. I find this to be the safest, because if you are caught, the teacher will just think that's it's a bunch of gibberish. LOOK-AROUND CHEAT- ANYONE who can't figure out this one, must have a negative I.Q.!! It's basically common logic. All you do is look aroung the room for maps, lists of words, anything that might give you a clue to the answer. Well, now that you know most of the familiar methods, you have to know how to use them wisely. Here are some tips to keep from getting caught: 1) Make sure no one is looking when you cheat! (DUH!) 2) Don't look puzzled. If you do, the teacher will keep an eye on you. 3) Watch out for those little "tattle-tale pricks!!" 4) Do the cheat quickly without any interruptions. Now that you have a good idea on how to cheat, HAVE FUN!!!! -----------------------------------------------------------Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open

PADDING YOUR PAPERS This is a file about making typed and printed text appear much longer than it really is. I'm sick of writing these fucking introductory paragraphs, so I'l just do it really half assed. Don't do anything I describe here, don't read this file, don't do drugs, don't break the law, you know the deal. You can redistribute this text, but you have to leave this little diddly intact. Don't take credit for my work, and don't remove this heading. Thank you, come again. In this text I frequently use the words volume and mass. It's a lot like the scientific definition, in that mass is how many actual words you have and volume is how much space you take up. We're going for low mass, high volume products

here. Oh, yeah. There's content. That's how much actual thought there is. High mass, high volume, low content is good, too. One more thing. As proof that this works, I padded this paper (first I made it double spaced and everything) and I added another page. that's 120% of the origional. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So, teacher says you have to hand in a six page report, and your's is only two pages long. What do you do? Sure, you could hand in the report as it is, and accept the grade you earned, but that's the moral, wussy way of handling things. A real nihilist would utilize deciet and padding to turn his failure of a paper into something that will actually get a passing grade. Okay, first thing you shuld do is put your line spacing at double. This is a pretty standard thing to do, and if you forgot to include it, you add more volume to your paper. Also, is your font at 12 points? This, too is a pretty standard size, and if your below it, you could add more volume to your work. Do you double space after each period? Do so, and maybe you'll get another line. Just run a find and replace for ". " and trade it with ". " if you want to add spaces after periods. These and many other tricks may not do anything on your word proscessor, because many newer programs use automatic full justification, meaning that they will change the letter spacing to fill lines that aren't hard returned, so there are no unsightly breaks in your text. Any word proscessor worth it's salt lets you turn off this feature. Now that you've done everything your allowed to, it's time to break some rules. Margins are something that a lot of people overlook, and scooting them in a fourth of an inch can add lines to your paper. Be sure you do this before you write, because it will cause your lines to take on a strange and awkward format. This is caused when the automatic returns in your text are interpreted as hard returns. A higher quality word proscessor doesn't have this problem (I reccomend Word. The latest version is always best.) Oh, and before I forget, there's something you should know. Most peoples' printers are of a much higher resolution that their monitors, so a change in font size or line spacing that's too small to see on our screen will make a difference when printed. With that in mind, try changing your font size to 12.5 or 12.2, which may or may

not show up on your screen. Some word proscessors, particularly those that suck, will only allow font sizes of integers, so that decimals won't work. If you've done every other trick in this text, then a font of 13 isn't a good idea, because it is incredibly obvious that your padding. Use your best judgement. If you have big words at the ends of your lines, try throwing a few extra spaces into the line to nudge them to the next line down. DO NOT put five of these extraenious spaces in. Remember what I said about double spacing? Try spacing at 2.3 between your lines. This definatly helps. If you haven't raised your font yet, you should do so according to how much you fuck with the line spacing. 2.3 is a little more that 110% of normal, so your font size should be around 12.2 points, that way the proportions look natural. And while your raising the scale of everything, try 1.5 or 1.2 spacing between letters instead of just one. Now, If one were to implement the typing of extraeniously verbose language (big words) he'd benefit less from this technique than the guy who just uses one syllable words, and has more spaces per line. Well, that's about all the tricks I know that don't involve typing. If you have more, then drop me a line and let me know, and I'll put it in my next version of this text. But don't worry, kids, because there's more to come. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------All of these tricks involve manipulation of your writing, not your formatting, so that they will raise mass and volume, but you won't have to do anymore thinking than usual. These tricks must NOT be done on english teachers, because they all involve poor writing skills and organization, and english teachers will count against you severely for that. A chemistry teacher, a history teacher, whatever, will not count as much, and maybe not at all, leaving your grade only scratched. And, considering the shitty grade a half page report will give you, a scratch might not be at all bad. Straw men, baby, that's what it's all about. A straw man is a literary term used to describe an argument proposed simply to be knocked down. Now, why should you use straw men instead of writing? Because writing takes thought and energy, whereas straw men require only mindless typing. Did you catch that? I just used a straw man! I brought up writing your report when it wasn't necessary, and hence took up another line. A straw man is hardly a real thought, more like

mindless rambling. Try being repeditive when you type, but do it smoothly. Don't re-propose an argument in different words, re-explain it in different words. For example; "Water can be very dangerous for many reasons. If, for instance, somebody were to breathe liquid water, they would immediatly die. That is why if you were to stick your head into an ocean, you would die, because when you took a breath it would kill you." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you feel like writing, and you feel like thinking, but don't wanna go to the library, or do any serious research, then you still have a chance to cheat a little. Just find one source, say. . . some guy's report on the dangers of breathing water. Your report needs to be three pages log, and his is two pages. No problem, you can pad what you can't write. If your like me, you can write a page from a paragraph, by voicing your opinionson the subject. Do your report based on this guy's thing, and then when your teacher asks for a bibliography, just copy down the bibliography for the report! Brilliant, huh? You could theoretically do this with an encyclopedia arcticle, but the encyclopedia's sources are really heavy, as in old documents, technical books, things that a highschool student would never use for research. I'm posting reports I've done and the years I did them on my page eventually (I don't have a URL as of yet) for you to download and cheat off of (or just plain steal.) That's it. If you wanna mail Suid, it's suid_lizard@yahoo.com If anyone contributed this text to a search engine, search for the following string to see if there are more of my files for you to find. "rhese589ndeeboiyzz6547fneerjabbler"

How to be a lying ninja! Yet another sexy little text file brought to you by Rusty and The Italic Squirrels. Written by Suid Lizard and Rhesus Monkey, edited by Captain Ross. This text file was written for entertainment purposes only. Just because somebody reads this text does not mean that they should try anything in it. This file does not, nor does it's authors, advocate the telling of lies, or anything like that. Even though you shouldn't try this, but you do anyway, it isn't our fault if you get busted. Maybe it was YOUR mistake that got you screwed. Maybe

the simple facts of your lie screwed you up, maybe you're just an idiot, maybe this whole text file is a load of bullshit. You just don't know, so don't try this until you've done some research in this sort of thing. Don't do drugs. Don't break the law. Don't wear dead elephants as hats. Don't do anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to do. Don't do anything. ************************************************************************ By reading further into this text you certify that you are not a law enforcement officer, an employee of the federal government, or an acquaintance of an employee of the federal government, or even an acquaintance of an acquaintance of an employee of the federal government. You certify that you are not Suid Lizard or Captain Ross's mom, or anyone else's mom. You certify that you are not under 18 years of age. You certify that you are not over 18 years of age. You certify that you are not 18 years of age. If any or all of the above statements does not apply to you, then do not read further into this file, delete it if it happens to be on your hard or floppy disks, and leave whatever site or BBS or whatever it is you downloaded it from. ************************************************************************ Well, now that I've excluded about 99.9% of the population, all that should be left are super intelligent cyborgs from the future, spider monkeys, and contract violators who have let go of all their rights concerning this file. So you wanna learn to lie, eh? Well, before you can learn that you have to learn to spot a liar, which is easier than you think. Certain behaviors, things you don't mean to do, give away liars. These can be movements, or biological signals. Mainly, I'm gonna deal with the physical gestures and such, things that you don't have to be hooked up to a machine to detect. Liars, especially when caught off guard, don't have real memories to refer to, and have to rely on their imaginations to fall back on. Without actual experience dictating the story, it becomes almost impossible to keep track of all the details that may be said. That's why in an interrogation a detective (or whoever) will ask the same questions again and again, in hopes of finding a slip up. They may ask about details, things like "what color was her shirt?" in hopes that the suspect's story won't be consistent. The specifics of a story may be vague when it is first told, which is a fairly reliable indicator of the truth. So what can a liar do to avoid these pitfalls? Simply use real memories as a reference. If you say you were meeting some friends, then think of a past

occasion when you met with friends. Now, when your asked the color of her shirt, it will be white (or whatever) every time, because that's what you remember it as being. Another problem is witnesses. A liar may try to get his story straight with all of the people present, but that's bound to fail. Say you went Somehood (mystery city) last night, to go meet some chicks at the deli and get laid. Only trouble is, your grounded that week. Your mom asks you where you went! Quick, what do you say? The secret is to make as little of your story a lie as possible. Tell her that you were at the deli in Somehood, studying with Jacob (or whoever was there). Now, if your mom calls your friends and questions them, your story might just fly, as long as the part about getting laid doesn't come up ;). But it isn't just your story that gives you away. It might also be you. The way you hold yourself, the way you speak, the way you move, they all hold clues as to how honest you are. Luckily, if you know what's what, you can avoid making such tell-tale mistakes. See, when you lie, even if your a comfortable liar, you get a little nervous (or a lot). And when your nervous, you brain makes a little adrenaline, which basically screws you over. Ever notice how when you lie, your face gets a little itchy? You feel a tick here and there? Yep, that's adrenaline, pal. Do you ever get a little fidgety, wanting to keep your hands busy? Adrenaline, baby. Your mouth feels dry, you breathe more deeply, you can't relax your body? adrenaline, adrenaline, adrenaline! So what can you do about this wondrous chemical? Nothing really, my friend, just ignore it. When your face feels itchy, don't scratch. Breathe shallow as usual, don't swallow too much, and if your nervous, slouch as best you can and put your arms somewhere comfortable and leave them there. Body language, something we learn early in life, can also give you away. When people lie or bull shit in some other way, they have a tendency to cover their mouth, like they don't really believe what they say. When your a little kid it's very obvious, but as we grow older it becomes more and more subtle. You may touch your nose, your cheek, or your mouth. Talk to someone in a casual sort of way, so that they won't feel the need to lie. Are they covering their mouth in any way? Of course not! If you know what to look for this gesture can be very obvious.

It's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. This little diddly is truer than you know, because you can learn a lot from what a fellow's eyes are doing. For instance, where a person glances around while talking, it often indicates what part of his brain he's using. These directions vary from person to person, but they are almost always there. There are sections for audio, visual, olfactory (smell), tactile (touch), and taste. There are also directions for calling on two types of reasoning (left and right side) and one for IMAGINATION. this is the one we're concerned with. When you have to come up with a story, what do you have to do? you have to imagine it, dumbass! For most people, they look up and to the left when they call on their imagination, and since they've been doing it for as long as they've been making shit up, they've getten into the habit. When you lie, try to look pretty much straight forward, glancing down naturally and occasionally. Also, maintain eye contact. Have you ever heard "look me in the eye?" well that's what they're talking about. Try not to maintain eye contact freakishly long, because this is unnatural and suspicious looking. When you lie, you have to make up a story, and hence your brain might need a second to think. We subconsciously try to hide this, but nobody is ever fooled. Here's an example. Mom:"Jimmy, have you been masturbating on the roof again?" Jimmy:"Masturbating? Of course not, mom!" Do you know what Jimmy has done wrong? He repeated the beginning of the question. That's like saying "um. . .", only your brain thinks it's slick for hiding it. When you get asked a question, the answer should come like *boom*, in just a second. Mom:"Jimmy, have you been giving the dog blow jobs again?" Jimmy:"Eew, mom, no way! I could get diseases like that!" Do you know what Jimmy did wrong this time? True, he did answer right off, but he spent too much time answering. It sounds like he's trying to convince himself and his mom, doesn't it? Answer immediately and keep it short. This one's a little more subtle, and most people won't pick up on it, but better safe. Well, that's all the things you can control, but what about the things you can't? Remember our little discussion about adrenaline? Well, here's a little more. Adrenaline increases your body temperature, your heartrate, your blood pressure, and your breathing rate. These are the signals that those fancy machines keep track of, and they're very hard to control. (by the way. As of 1999 polygraphs aren't admissible in court, so don't sweat them too much.)

Either you must be incredibly disciplined and control your body completely, or you must believe that you are being truthful. My uncle was in Vietnam, and it was a very hard experience. When he got home, due to all the controversy surrounding the war, nobody wanted to talk to him. He spent so much time keeping it to himself, not thinking about it, and denying it that he actually came to believe for a short while that he was never in the war. Apparently this is not that uncommon. Thing is, if he was given a polygraph test at that time, and asked if he was in the war he could have said no and passed it. While we can't always recreate this sort of trauma at home, we can at least come close. So, if you steal the hope diamond from a museum, don't tell your friends, don't tell your family, and don't tell yourself what happened. If you push it back far enough it'll all disappear. Try it with that 2.14 GPA you got last semester, and see how it works. That's all for now. Thanks for your time -- *Suid Lizard* That's it. If you wanna mail Suid, it's suid_lizard@yahoo.com If anyone contributed this text to a search engine, search for the following string to see if there are more of my files for you to find. "rhese589ndeeboiyzz6547fneerjabbler"

I'm sure that you have cheated, bu there are a few quesions involved here.

What method did you use? Were you caught? And, how successful were you? In this tutorial, I hope to do the following things for you:

1) Perhaps show you some new methods.

2) How not to get caught.

3) And, when to use what method.

The first thing that you want to keep in mind when you are going to cheat, is "don't get caught." The reason for this is, not just because of the fact of being caught, but also being able to get away with it without arousing suspicion. Here are some methods of which to use:

PEN-DROPPING ROUTINE- If you can't get the answer, you'll want to get it from someone who knows it. So try this, drop your pen on the ground, and glance up at the person's paper on your way back to your desk. (Easy cheat!)

CRIB-NOTES- This is one of the most familiar ones. Write the answers on a small piece of paper, and keep it in your hand.

POCKET-CHEAT- This is basically the same as the crib notes one, but you keep the paper in a shirt pocket (open) and hav it you can glance down and peek an answer.

LEG-SPREAD CHEAT- I'm not sure, but I think that I may have made this one up. It's very simple. All you have to do, is write the answers on a piece of paper, and put it between your legs. When you need and answer, spread em'!!

CODE-CHEAT- This is very similar to all of the rest of them. You write the answers in a coded form of which you can only understand. I find this to be the safest, because if you are caught, the teacher will just think that's it's a bunch of gibberish.

LOOK-AROUND CHEAT- ANYONE who can't figure out this one, must have a negative I.Q.!! It's basically common logic. All you do is look aroung the room for

maps, lists of words, anything that might give you a clue to the answer.

Well, now that you know most of the familiar methods, you have to know how to use them wisely. Here are some tips to keep from getting caught: 1) Make sure no one is looking when you cheat! (DUH!) 2) Don't look puzzled. If you do, the teacher will keep an eye on you. 3) Watch out for those little "tattle-tale pricks!!" 4) Do the cheat quickly without any interruptions.

Now that you have a good idea on how to cheat, HAVE FUN!!!!