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Caleb Lanford Mr. Borrero ENGL 1101 02 September 2012 Revised Literacy Defense Essay Each and every day, people all around the world engage with some form of literacy through reading, writing, and communicating whether they realize it or not. It could be through a painting, a sacred ritual ground, a book, or a simple note; everyone, including myself, engages with a form of literacy. The purpose of this essay is to prove that my genre is a clear depiction of my literacy narrative in explaining how I personally engage with literacy through reading, writing, and communicating. To conduct this essay, I will initially introduce my sponsors and inform how each one of them has helped shape my beliefs and views as a writer. In addition to this, I will explain the genre that I used; its content, my past experiences with it, and how it influenced my development. Finally, I will explain how my narrative is reinforced by the conventions of the genre. Through discussing my genre, not only would I like for you to obtain more of a lucid understanding of how my values and beliefs as a writer came to be, but I would also like for you to be able to challenge yourself to think about how your own views and beliefs as a writer came to be. In todays society, individuals acquire their attitudes, values, beliefs, and knowledge of various aspects of things from many different groups of people; celebrities, coaches, etc. I
Comment [D3]: Structure/Organization In my original defense essay, I lacked structure and organization. I jumped from one sponsor to another and back to the first one. I also randomly talked about my genre. The purpose statement helped me with my structure/organization. 1)Introduce sponsors a)Work b)Home c)Community d)School 2)Genre-Video a)Content i)Composition ii)Pictures iii)Poems b)Past experiences c)How it influenced my development 3)Explain how my narrative is reinforced by the conventions of my genre Comment [D1]: Skill: Effective Introduction and setting the tone In my original defense essay, I began to talk about the O.J. Simpson trial and the tone felt sort of silly. In my revised essay I wanted to set a more of a serious tone for my reader and engage the reader.

Comment [D2]: Purpose Statement In my original defense essay I did not include a purpose statement or a thesis statement; I jumped right into my narrative. The reader would have been confused from the start and it would have remained that way throughout the defense essay.

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gained my values and beliefs of reading, writing, and communicating from my job, my home, my community, and my school. This past summer, I worked as a summer camp counselor for Cumberland County Parks and Recreations. While working, I was responsible for providing leadership and guidance to many different types of children from all different backgrounds and ethnicities. The more that I interacted with them the better I got to know them and their personalities. Some of them cried a lot, some of them played a lot, and some of them liked to fight a lot, but I will admit that I did enjoy the experience. On one particular day, two boys with two different personalities (fighter and crier) were involved in a fight. I was new on the job, so I was not exactly sure what to do; should I handle it myself or should I notify my supervisor? I decided to handle it myself. As I continued to work, I became better at these situations. I can honestly say that interacting with the children of the camp has helped shape my views on the way I communicate with different people when handling certain incidents. At home, my parents always taught me that getting a good education would lead to success and in order to achieve success, I would have to read, write, communicate, and stay focused. They started training me while I was young. When I was a little boy in elementary school, my mother made my two brothers and I read for at least thirty minutes before we could go outside and play with the cool kids on the streets of Biazza Ridge, located in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. My mother would say Gregory, Lamech, and Javan, before you all go outside and play, you know you all have to read for thirty minutes! Though I did not like the fact that I had to read before I went outside, it was practice and it did help me become a better reader.
Comment [D5]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences. Comment [D4]: Explaining the significance of experiences In my original paper, I included some experiences, but I did not explain the significance. In my revised paper, I actually shared why the were important. In this particular paragraph I explained an incident that occurred while I was working in which two kids got in an fight, and I had to choose whether to handle it myself or to promote it to a higher authority. This incident is one out of many incidents on the job that shaped my views on how to communicate with different people when handling certain situations.

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My brothers and I often got into trouble because we were young and my parents would discipline us. If they did not feel like spanking us, they would punish us by making us repetitively write the definition of a word. This continuous process made my handwriting significantly improve and it also broadened my vocabulary range. My father, who is a disabled veteran, served 17 years in the United States Army before being forced to retire due to the Army finding out that he was only born with one kidney that was currently working at 40 percent. In 2006 while receiving dialysis treatment, he had a stroke of the optic nerves and it caused him to completely lose his eyesight; I was devastated. Though it was sad, I did get many positives out of this heartbreaking event. The process of my dad becoming blind made me realize that I should not take the ability to see for granted and it also made me place more value on my own ability to read. Overall, my parents believed that good writing should express feelings and should include personal experiences that would help the reader grasp a better understanding of the writer. When people hear the word community, they usually think of some type of neighborhood. My community was Pine Forests Odyssey of Sound Marching Band. During marching band season, we would compete in numerous competitions; some we failed, and others we prevailed. At each competition, our performance was scored by multiple judges; each critiquing a different category and commenting on both positive and negative aspects. At the end of every competition we would receive a sheet with each judges score and comment, as well as our overall score. After one competition in Warrenton, NC, we received a score of 91.5 for the category of music with comments about how great our song selection was, but how our attacks on notes were not so great. Throughout the next week, we strictly
Comment [D7]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences. Comment [D6]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences.

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emphasized our attacks of notes. At the end of that week, we competed in Greensboro, NC, and received a score of 75 for the category of music with comments about how great our attacks on notes were, but how we could improve on our song selection; both of the judges comments had totally contradicted each other. I then learned that our scores and comments for each category could vary depending on the judge; similar to writing. What one person thinks good writing is, may be totally different from another, but you have to adjust. Competing in marching band competitions has made me realize that I can never be content with my level of writing; I must always have the drive to become better. Participating in marching band has overall made me believe that everyone has their own opinion of what good writing is. It has also made me value the fact that if I stay determine, I could always become a better writer and never to be content with my own level of writing because I would constantly have to make adjustments, depending on who is judging it. Out of all of the sponsors that have impacted me, school has mostly helped shape my beliefs and views as a writer. All throughout school, I hated to write partially because I did not receive appealing grades and partially because I was just lazy and I could not stay focused. When I was in the fourth grade, I was enrolled at College Lakes Elementary School in Fayetteville, North Carolina. During the fourth grade, I had to take the North Carolina 4 th Grade Writing Assessment. I had to take this test three times and third time, I left a letter that stated, P.S. this is the third time that I had to take this test, so please pass me. I did not think that this would work, but I passed. Fortunately, in both the seventh grade-where I learned the structure of a five paragraph essayand tenth grade, I scored high enough on the writing tests to pass. Due to these experiences, my views as a writer can sometimes be negative.
Comment [D9]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences. Comment [D8]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences

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When I reached the eleventh grade, my views changed; they became positive. I had a teacher named Mr. Rowe, who was determined to make his students better writers; or at least make us believe that we were better writers. He always seemed to encourage us as writers and he believed that good writing was whatever you made of it. My positive views of writing were short-lasted. During my final year in high school, my entire English IV class was strictly scrutinized on our ability to read and write. She told us how we sounded like little children reading. She also continued to drill the MLA format into our heads, and we still never totally understood it. We were told how we had better drastically show a dramatic improvement in reading and writing because the level that we were currently working at will not shift well in a College English class. Any negative views that I still have left about writing, I have obtained from her. To help describe my narrative, I used a video that contained pictures, poems, and a musical composition that I personally wrote. I chose to incorporate pictures because they all have meaning. Though a picture may appear vague or pointless, it probably signifies something greater. One particular journal entry in my college English class required us to question the meaning of a picture that was on the board. Everyone had their own opinions of its meanings and it challenged our minds to think harder. This experience has helped my development in analyzing my sponsors and my history of literacy more critically. I chose to incorporate poetry within my genre because it is a text in which I can reveal the nature of my values and beliefs of reading, writing, and communication. During the sixth grade, my teacher nominated me to represent her home room in a statewide poetry contest. I did not
Comment [D11]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences. Comment [D10]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences.

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place in this event, but being the lone student chosen out of more than 20 others to participate made me feel great. I may not be the best poet, but this experience helped develop the attitude in which I approach my writings; with confidence and a positive attitude. Without these characteristics, my paper would be deficient and the outcome would not be successful. I chose to incorporate music because I have been writing music since the eighth grade. When I compose a musical piece, I approach it the same way that I approach essays. When composing a piece of music, first I list the group of instruments that will be used and I determine which instruments will play the melody, the counter-melody, etc. Then I compose my draft and I get someone to proofread and proof listen to it to get their opinion. Finally, I take what I learn from the proofreader and produce my final product. When writing an essay, I plan, I draft, I receive a second opinion, and I produce the final essay. Composing pieces of music has helped me develop and maintain my process of writing. The conventions of my genre reinforce my narrative. The pictures include sponsors who have helped shaped my values and beliefs as a writer and they also include a picture with the word confidence which is the way that I approach my papers, the poems contain quotes and phrases that my sponsors have spoken to me over the years, and the music; the musical composition includes a Largo (slow, broad speed) tempo and it is written in the key of A minor, it uses a violin (a high sounding string instrument), and it uses a contrabass (a deep, bass sounding string instrument) to make it sound emotional to enforce my parents views of good writing; feeling the paper up with emotional expressions and including personal experiences. The drum set as well as the accents throughout the piece; represent my determination to become a better writer. The first five notes of my musical piece contain roof-top accents (to place emphasis on a note) that represent the five paragraph essay that I learned while in the seventh
Comment [D13]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences. Comment [D12]: Skill: Explaining the significance of experiences.

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grade. The fifth note is a falling glissando which represents the negative experience that I had with it. After explaining how I personally engage with literacy through reading, writing, and communicating; and explaining how my beliefs and values as a writer came to be. I would like for you to examine yourself and determine how your personal values and beliefs as a writer came to be. Ask yourself how do I view writing and where did these views originate?
Comment [D14]: Effective Conclusion and finishing with the starting tone. In my original defense essay, my conclusion was similar to my introduction; it had a silly tone and it just magically appeared after I told my narrative. In my revised essay, I restated some of the things that were incorporated within my introduction and I asked the reader a question to keep them thinking.