CHAPTER 17: TOO MUCH KINDNESS?

Independence to Boonville, MO; Days 198-205; Distance = 119 Miles; People Met = 44 We hiked out of Independennce with Johnny Stabno, the Past District Governor of that district's Lions Club. I interviewed him as we walked, and learned a little bit about both the Lions Clubs in that area and the Community of Christ denomination he attended. This is a lesser known branch of the Church of Latter Day Saints with headquarters in Independence. Their Temple there featured a corkscrew-shaped spire that dominated the landscape. Peace and justice are important issues to this branch of the Latter Day Saints; no surprise that a District Governor for the Lions Club should have this theological background. As we walked along the back roads of western Missouri we passed many small Community of Christ churches. Sometimes they sprouted in the middle of nowhere, rather than the main streets of towns. One would naturally guess that a headquarters for this church must be nearby. However, unlike the Latter Day Saints in Utah, the Community of Christ churches were not the only game in town. People had a choice in Missouri. Small Baptist churches also popped up in remote places, as did other denominations. One thinks of Kansas as an anchor to the Bible Belt, but along our route Missouri appeared to dwarf Kansas in number of church buildings. Another Christian denomination that became pronounced along our route was none other than our own United Church of Christ. Yet this was a different UCC for us. As New Englanders we come from the WASPish Congregational branch of the UCC, and we continued to encounter this branch from California to Kansas. In Missouri us Congregationalists gave away to Reformed and Evangelical branches of the UCC, both of which stem from the large German presence in Missouri. Ritual and ornate architecture, similar to Catholicism, represent this branch of the UCC rather than the Calvinist simplicity of the white steepled New England church. Soon after leaving Independence we arrived at the Missouri River, the largest expanse of water we encountered yet. Only one would be larger, the Mississippi River, but even at that it would not

appear larger than what lay to our left when we first turned east to follow the Missouri downstream. Early on we encountered devastated flood plains along the banks of the Missouri; 2011 featured very high precipitation, as we already knew from the effects of western snowpack at the early stages of our hike. At one point they even breached a dam downstream near St. Louis to avoid further build up of water that might lead to a more catastrophic breach. Much of the crops near the Missouri River that year were destroyed, which did not sit well with the farmers we encountered. After following the Santa Fe Trail for a couple months we were diverted now to the Lewis and Clark Trail while following the Missouri River. We stepped a little further back in pioneering time even as we stepped a bit forward in terms of Civil War time. People in Missouri were not as eager to talk about their part in starting the Civil War as Kansans, but a few interpretive signs could be found, particularly where battles occurred around Lexington, Missouri. Leading up to Lexington was a string of towns along the Missouri River with names derived from the Napoleonic era, starting with the towns of Napoleon and Waterloo. These were sleepy little hill towns, reminiscent of home in some ways. After Napoleon and Waterloo came the larger town of Wellington and, after that, the city of Lexington. After Lexington we angled away from the Missouri River through towns of Grand Pass and Marshall, where we encountered a few days of bad weather, rejoining

Our chance encounter with kindness on this stretch began at the public library in Buckner, the day after we left Independence. We made our way there for the usual reason, to use their wifi for posting to the Internet. Missouri actually had the most restrictive policies in regards to wifi usage at public libraries; we always were required to show IDs for a restricted period of time and sometimes even had to pay for an hour block. Yet at this particular public library we met one of the most engaged librarians in what we were doing. Librarian Mary Beth Hollenbach chatted with us, providing some very interesting material in

regards to the mission. She shared her hopes from a documentary she watched about a special type of food that can provide nourishment to the hungry. She also shared her concern about the need for public transportation to enhance some people's abilities to find and maintain jobs. Most enlightening for me was the personal anecdote Mary Beth shared about her day in court. While there for a barking dog matter she observed the vicious cycle affiliated with poor people's crimes. An example of such a crime is writing a bad check which, when the consequences get out of hand, leads to a record. That record makes job hunting difficult (obviously Mary Beth had developed a tremendous interest and soft spot over the whole jobs issue during this down economy). Difficult job hunting means perpetual placement into the type of situation that might lead one to write bad checks. Mary Beth invited us to have Sunday brunch at her home in Lexington when we passed through, which we gladly did. Before leaving Buckner we stopped at Sonic Burgers. On our family trips out west our kids always got a kick out of stopping at this particular fast food place; we vowed we would stop once at one during our journey and Buckner provided a convenient time and place to do so. The crew at the Buckner Sonic gave us a bunch of freebies to go along with the meal we ordered. As we came into Wellington, Brian Beissenherz stopped unloading supplies from his pick-up to ask us if we needed anything. What we really needed at the moment was a restroom, and Brian escorted us down the main street to Nana Marie's restaurant. He offered us a shower at his place if we wanted, but we were there around lunch time with many more miles to hike that day. We asked the proprietor of Nana Marie's, Charlotte Uptegrove, if we could use the restroom and if we could eat our lunch at one of her tables. She agreed to both, except that she insisted on preparing us lunch on the house instead. Nana Marie's was a delightful spot for a lunch break, decorated as a throwback diner with rock & roll album covers all over the wall and a television playing black and white shows. An old Johnny Weismuller Tarzan movie was on the screen while we were there. Charlotte shared with us that a destructive wind storm swept through Wellington and people

banded together to clean up the town in just a couple days. Her reporting of community kindness had a familiar ring, recalling the aftermath of the Holly, Colorado tornado as reported to us by the Andersens. People from across the country keep expressing to us how fortunate they feel to live in a region where community kindness still prevails. Yet if people everywhere feel this way perhaps the special ingredient is not where we are but who we are when we can function as a community. One thing we were discovering in this part of the state was that the names of roads had been changed. The names on our ADT guide did not correspond with what we were seeing on road signs. That led us to stop at a cafe in Malta Bend for directions. Tiffany and Jovanna helped us out with the road names, explained a little of the riverboat history connected to Malta Bend, and threw in some hot drinks as well. As we were hiking out of Lexington, after our Sunday brunch with Mary Beth, a motorist on his way back from church stopped to find out what we were doing. He was very enthused and would have offered us a place to stay if we weren't already set up by that point. He also asked if I was hiking with my daughter. First in Kansas I'm an old man hiking with a young blonde, now I'm hiking with my daughter. I'm aware of the advantages a young blonde and old man present in attracting the interest and kindness of strangers. Yet I knew we would experience kindness on this journey precisely because I experienced the same kindness as a young man on wilderness adventures. Every other sojourner we spoke with also shared similar tales of kindness. We might have been treated the same way even if I did not look like an old man, but I consoled myself to the perks of being treated this way. In the Utah and Nevada deserts people often stopped to see if we needed assistance in the heat. As we hiked into Boonville on a raw, cold day Ted stopped to see if we needed assistance. This was one out of a handful of days in which we were uncomfortably cold throughout our lunch break, but once we started hiking again we were fine and just thanked Ted for his concern.

In addition to the chance encounters, previous connections from the journey led to good fortune and kindness on this stretch. Our stay in Lexington was at the home of Bob Arnoldi, a connection made at the White Memorial Camp in Kansas. The real connection was made with Bob's wife Sharon, but she and daughter Kathryn were at a horse show when we arrived. Left behind with Bob were other daughter Hannah, son-in-law Dannon, 16-month old granddaughter Anjulie and adopted daughter Michelle, a good friend of Hannah's. Michelle actually lives elsewhere but often comes over and cooks for the Arnoldi family. In addition to the humans were six dogs of varying personalities and two cats. That was one vibrant, energetic household! A family connection led to our stay in Columbia at the end of this stretch, with Ky ferrying us there from the Katy Trail we got on from nearby Boonville. John Hooker was the son of Susie, partner to my brother Ernie back home in Norfolk. I had never met John before, he had grown up and moved away by the time Susie and Ernie got together. As a carpenter with long hair and a beard his appearance was much like mine, if you replace the white hair color with red. He came to Columbia for grad school at the University of Missouri as a marine biologist. Fishing and fishery remained loves of his, but he enjoyed the lifestyle of a self-employed contractor. We met John's girlfriend Staci, who had a delightfully quirky gimmick of hauling a red divan around to unusual places and photographing people sitting in it. Indeed, she and John met when he refused to cooperate. Cindy and I were glad to play along and the hauled the red divan out to the Katy Trail to get photos of us on the famous couch. They hiked with us for awhile as well. While we were in Columbia John also hooked us up with a free meal and sample brews at the Broadway Brewery. This was a popular destination for Mizzou students. We met the owners Kenny and Becky. Kenny also was involved in local radio and would have loved to have us on, but the logistics did not work out for that. On our way to Broadway Brewery we had our only direct encounter with an OCCUPY movement, this one OCCUPY Columbia. We had recently spoken with Reid Nelson about the

OCCUPY Lawrence movement in that University of Kansas town, and the two movements appeared to be polar opposites of each other. In Lawrence the protestors had a single focus, more community gardens. Lawrence accommodated their demands and the OCCUPY movement ended before we arrived. In Columbia there remained a handful of protestors after the fall semester for the University had ended, but they did not have a single focus. It just seemed to be a hodge-podge of complaints, none of which likely would lead to concrete action. The connection that led to the most follow-up was Jeff Whitman, the UCC Missouri Synod Conference minister. After meeting us at the KristKindl Markt near Kansas City he sent out an email to the pastors along our route, and also published a letter from me with a similar plea. As a result I was answering ten or more emails every time we could access wifi with requests from pastors to host us. Our first stop on the Missouri UCC tour was the Ebenezer UCC in Levasy. Pastor Steve Redman eminated the persona of a jovial Santa Claus. One jolly habit of his was to make a pun out of everything he could, which was most things. When we broke bread with him and parishioner Lynnette she provided the occasional groans to his puns which were no doubt music to his ears. Pastor Steve was the UCC coordinator for disaster relief in Missouri and northern Arkansas and Tennessee. He shared with us two little known aspects of disaster relief. Different denominations specialize in coming to the aid of a disaster area. Mennonites might specialize in building, Baptists in feeding. The UCC specializes in logistics and coordination. Pastor Steve also confided that coordinating disaster relief is made difficult by too much kindness. People hear of a disaster and they rush to help in some way, particularly with sending in supplies. Besides creating a logistical problem, these free supplies being sent from outside means that local proprietors cannot get back on their feet from selling those supplies locally. Any church group that wants to respond to a disaster should make contact with coordinators first before sending in supplies. In Boonville, MO we stayed in the home of Larry Jones and Pastor Judy Fiocco of the

Evangelical UCC. We joined them in an Advent ceremony where we shared our Wows (something good that happened), Pows (something bad) and Hows (how God affected our lives that day). Cindy moved Pastor Judy during our stay, causing her to comment both during our stay and later correspondence on how she found Cindy to be glowing. For our part we found the Advent ceremony moving as well, a little something to hold onto as we left Boonville to begin our hike along the Katy Trail. While we were there I also spoke with Teresa, the secretary of the Evangelical UCC. She doubled as a reporter for the local paper and I went into depth about the journey and the mission. The topic came up of why I cover how many more hours a household works these days in my talks, in response to the think tank cultivated impression that Americans don't want to work hard any more. Teresa added she felt that to be a key impediment to getting involved in one's community, and I could not have agreed more. We also were contacted by Pastor Steve Swope of the Columbia UCC. We did not stay with that church, preferring instead to spend time with family member John, but we did come to join in with their Saturday evening Advent service. They were very much a modern UCC congregation, with Pastor Steve provided music for the service. No doubt this was a reflection of being situated in a college town. They proved to be the outlier in the otherwise more traditional UCC churches we attended throughout Missouri.

The best UCC experience for us in western Missouri happened at St. Luke's UCC in Grand Pass, a small town with a large impact on our journey. They share Pastor Andy Mockridge with another UCC church, but we were fortunate enough to meet her when we first arrived around lunch time. She along with parishioners Jeannie and Carey were preparing for that evening's Supper Out program. St. Luke's developed an alliance with other churches in the area for providing community meals, a Supper Out on a rotating basis. A town as small as Grand Pass would not draw enough

people for a community meals program all on their own, but people came from other towns just as Grand Pass folks would go to other towns. We just happened to have impeccable timing with landing at Grand Pass on the evening of their Supper Out. We continued to hike for the afternoon before Ky returned us to St. Luke's for that evening's festivities. Many folks were in the kitchen making chicken pot pie for the community meal and decorating the meeting hall for Christmas. Ky got right into the thick of things in the preparation, scurrying about their kitchen with a Santa's hat on. When it comes to kitchen duties I tend to feel a little bit lost until the dishes need to be washed, at which time I'll jump right in. We sat down to eat with some folks that needed a little relief such as what a community meals program can provide. You would think this to be my element, a kindness advocate breaking bread with people in need of kindness. Yet I'm always mindful in these situations that the most sustainable hope for communities comes from within those communities, not from outsiders. We made some pleasant talk together but I did not play the part of a paternal humanitarian. While we had a chance to talk with Pastor Andy I interviewed her about a coffee shop she knew about in Washington DC, founded by a liberal Baptist house church called the Church of our Savior. They founded and staffed the coffee shop with volunteers in a business district to service both the nearby professionals at work and the nearby poor. The purpose was not to make money but to bring people from different walks of life together to talk about the news of the day and share each other's perspective on life. This was a manifestation of that famous quote from back in Leadville confuse who is giving and who is receiving; or to quote a passage just a tad more famous there is neither Jew nor Greek; slave nor free; male nor female. (Galatians 3:28) The original plans called for us to stay with a parishioner who lived next door to the church, Christy Windmeyer. However, we learned that she was recovering from a stomach virus and we neither wanted to aggravate nor catch the bug. Even so, more of our time was spent with Christy than with anyone else from Grand Pass. She brought breakfast over for us the morning after Supper Out and

we got into a lengthy conversation about volunteering at soup kitchens, something we all experienced in common. The observation was made that sometimes people seem awful unappreciative of what others provide for them. Complaints such as we had apple pie LAST night! are common. I have two thoughts on that. Human nature is varied throughout the socioeconomic spectrum. You have your unappreciative types that are poor, you have your unappreciative types that are rich. Through corporate media and think tanks we may hear more about the unappreciative types that are poor because those are venues for the unappreciative types that are wealthy. We should not misconstrue this into thinking that being unappreciative is a function of being assisted by others. Even so, there is a way to cut down on unappreciative types; to make clear you have expectations of them. This reiterates the principle for community involvement I formed after our experiences in Larned, Kansas. People want to belong to others in community, and responsibility is a result of such belonging. Laying expectations on even the less fortunate is not a burden but a blessing that most would embrace. Not all of the less fortunate would embrace responsibility, of course, any more than all of the more fortunate are willing to be responsible to others. Christy and Ky formed a close bond while we were there. This was nothing new. It's debatable whether Ky or us encountered more people on the journey, but there is no debate that as our support person Ky spent longer amounts of time with the people encountered except for a handful of cases. She often remained in phone contact with people long after we passed through an area. Christy would be one of those people Ky remained in contact with over time. Podcast: PDG Lion Johnny Stabno Podcast: Disaster Kindness Podcast: Church of our Savior Coffee Shop