THE POWER OF

1. About the author 2. Getting started 3. Decisions and their consequences 4. Making and taking decisions 5. How this book will change you 6. Real-life decisions 7. The right decision formula 8. Finding the cost of your decisions 9. The decision-making process 10. Paying the cost 11. Correcting wrong decisions 12. Summary 13. Pitfalls! 14. Workbook

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mitesh Khatri is the founder of Guiding Light Consultants (GLC) and Success Training Videos (STV) Library. Under his leadership, GLC has become one of the most preferred training and consulting organisations in India. GLC serves many multinational organisations, including Amdocs, Zensar, Forbes Marshall, Atos Origin, Capgemini, Dow Chemicals, 3Global Services, INCAT (TTL), Fujitsu, CLSA, Persistent, Cognizant Technology Services, Aviva, WNS, S1 Services, EXL Services, Novartis, Barclays, Genpact, Glaxo Smith Kline, Aztecsoft, and many more. STV Library offers several well-researched and presented training programmes that are required by big, and even small, organisations. All the member organisations have been benefitting from the training videos streamed on STV online Library. Mitesh has acquired a thorough knowledge of behavioural science through research that has been tempered with more than a decade of relevant and rich practical experience. Mitesh has also participated in many training programmes to enhance his knowledge. Some of the certifications he has received are: Master Hypnotist by California Hypnosis Institute of India. NLP by National Federation of Neuro-Linguistic Psychology. Complete Curriculum for Living by Landmark Forum, Mumbai. Unleash the Power Within by Anthony Robbins, Mumbai. Productivity Expansion by Mission Control, USA. Mind Control by Hope Academy, Pune. Trainers Training by TAP Foundation. Silva Mind Control by Silva, Mumbai.

Who am I by Kryon, Pune. Mitesh has been conducting workshops for individuals and corporate for more than 10 years. He has also been coaching and helping executives achieve their professional goals. In several organisations, Mitesh has conducted workshops on Building Innovation Skills, Creative Problem Solving, Business Communication Skills, Change Management, Time Management Skills, Planning and Scheduling Skills, Stress Management Skills, Leadership Skills, Team Effectiveness, Campus to Corporate, and so on. He is an expert in teaching through experiential games, role plays, presentations and group work. Mitesh is also an expert in breakthrough experiential tools like Steel Bar Bending, Spoon Bending, Walking on Fire, and Breaking a Wooden Board. These tools are very effective in Corporate Breakthrough programmes. During his workshops, participants have benefited tremendously. They get over the biggest fears in their life, move on from past issues, and achieve what they thought were impossible goals in life. In this book, Mitesh Khatri coaches you through one of lifes toughest challenges: making a decision, and the right one at that. The Power of Making Decisions Right, is a very powerful workshop Mitesh offers management personnel and students. This has helped them take quicker and better decisions in life. The technique of decision making that he teaches is also very popular in executive coaching sessions, as it shows how quick and practical solutions can be taken by executives. Mitesh has also used this technique to help people resolve many of their personal issues. He personally uses this technique in many areas of his life and it is helped him make many important and difficult decisions in his life. Mitesh says, Our daily life is full of situations when we have to constantly make small and big decisions, thus my quest for this knowledge has transformed my life completely. It gave me the power to make right and long-lasting decisions for a life of high quality. For example, I have decided to work for only 15 days in a month and enjoy the rest of the month as I like! This one decision has made my life a dream, Building, Efficiency to

which millions of people are still waiting to create, and yet I created this rich lifestyle with a well-thought out decision. One of the other decisions was to be a Corporate Trainer and Behavioural Expert even though I was an undergraduate. Yet, because I kept working on my decision, today I coach CEOs and directors of multinational organisations because they know that I can make a difference. If I can, then anybody else can too, and thats exactly the skill that I want to share with millions of people through this book. In this book Mitesh has tried to explain the reasons why people are afraid and unable to make decisions; why people regret their decisions; how a decision can set our life right; and, how to correct past decisions that were wrong. To know more about Mitesh Khatri, his work and his behavioural training organisation, please visit http://miteshkhatri.com/

GETTING STARTED
Do you have a problem when it comes to making decisions? Do you have problem in owning up to a decision? Do you always look for an easy option when you have to make a decision? Do you believe that most of your decisions are always wrong? Do you have a big list of pending decisions? Are you indecisive because you believe you will regret your decision? Do you have a list of decisions in your life, which you think were wrong, and given a choice would you like to correct them? Do not prefer to not make difficult decisions? Do you prefer it if someone else had to make decisions for you, so that you could blame that person if things went wrong? Do you think choosing between two things is always an issue? At this moment do you have a major decision which you are not able to take? Do you depend on others for taking many of the decisions in your life? Do you always go to your friends for help for many decisions in your life? If you have answered yes to any or many of these questions, then you have picked up the right book! Once you read through this book, and use the worksheets to develop your decision-making skills, you will have sharp and quick decision-making abilities.

DECISIONS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES

The quality of our life is the quality of the decisions we make.

The pointers offered to you here will help you in your life, no matter what issues currently confront you. In fact, this may be one of the most important books you have ever read in your life. Because, the quality of our life is the quality of decisions we make! In this book you will learn the power of making the right decisions. These techniques have been used by the most powerful people in the world, including Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, and all those influential people who have had the power to make precise, clear, and powerful decisions. Decision making is a process, an important skill when it comes to taking major steps and decisions in life. However, it is a process, which can be learned so that we can control every aspect of our life. Every waking moment, we make decisions. It is a very subconscious process. Consider this, We take our first decision in the morning when we decide when we want to wake up. And then the decisions continue. Should we get up looking forward to the day, or unenthusiastically? Should we start our day with a smile, or by mulling over a list of problems? Should we enjoy our work, or feel miserable about it? Should we meet friends, or keep away from them? Do we keep ourselves happy, or are we sad most of the time? Do we decide to let go of your anger and control your mood, or let your emotions control you? Do we decide to live a mediocre life, or an extraordinary one?

Do we decide to live in the past, or in the present? Do we say No when we want to? The consequences of all these decisions make our day, and eventually our life. Our life is under the complete control of these conscious and subconscious decisions that we make through the day. Thus, it is extremely important that we do not just understand, but also master the technique of making powerful decisions, so that we can do so instantly, and reap the benefits of our decisions for a lifetime. Quite often, we find ourselves struggling with problems that confuse us, because we are presented with at least two equally appealing options while we are not sure about which one to choose. The questions could be something like this, Should I do this, or that? Should I do it now, or later? Should I say it, or not? Should I say it when I am alone, or in a public place? Should I say the truth, or lie? Should I use aggression, or be polite? Should I be a straight talker, or manipulative? Should I listen, or speak? Should I do it, or not? Would it be the right thing do, or should I choose something else? How can I make the right decision? What if this decision is wrong? What if I fail again?

Should I reveal who I truly am, or keep it hidden? The list can go on, and such confusions make us weak since we are not in a position to reach any kind of conclusion. This state of dilemma can be really dangerous because it saps our strength by using up our energy in just thinking about various possibilities. I know that given a choice nobody wants to live in a state of weakness or confusion. In this book you have a chance to change all this and understand the power of making the right decisions.

MAKING

AND

TAKING

DECISIONS

There is no decision in the world, which is universally right or wrong.

The name of this book itself contains a very important lesson on decision making. Think about this, is there any decision in the world which is universally right or wrong? Think carefully! Some people say that not killing is a universal right decision. Well, do you think a murderer or soldier would agree? Of course not. If they did, they would stop killing at once! A person who wants to murder someone, does so for a purpose which they think is noble, and similarly a soldier is just discharging his duties towards his motherland. So, which decision is universally right? Or, is there any such decision? Lets think about this some more. My friend got married when he was very young. When he decided to get married, most of his friends, including me, felt that he was taking a wrong decision and that he was not old enough for marriage. We all thought that he would face many challenges and would have to make many sacrifices after getting married. We also thought that at some point in his life he would regret his decision. Its now been four years since he took that decision, and I would not say that he has had a very peaceful and easy married life. During these four years he has had to face many challenges, such as shouldering the responsibilities of taking care of a family, running the house on only his salary, having a baby, not getting enough time for himself and his friends, and so on. I do not see him have a great life, hence for me, his decision of getting married is still wrong. But, having said that, he has never regretted his marriage at all. For him, his decision was and is right even today. Why is this decision wrong according to me and why is it right for him? We will understand this later in this book. At this point we need to understand that, a decision

that I think is wrong, could be completely right for someone else, whereas a decision that I think is right may be completely wrong according to someone. You may have observed this in your own life. Because, there is no decision in the world, which is universally right or wrong. What is right or wrong is very subjective, and depends on the person who is taking the decision and the situation in which the decision is being taken. I am sure you realise that one persons right decision could seem wrong for someone else. So, now think again, is there any decision in the world which is universally right or wrong? No! There is no decision in the world which is universally right or wrong! But, can we take a right or wrong decision in our lives? Yes! In fact our decisions can be labelled right or wrong only when judged in the context of our own life. Dont you already know this to be true! All our decisions are right or wrong individually or personally, and can never be generalised for the entire world. Because, we are the only ones who have to live with our own decisions and nobody can do that for us. That is why we must own up to our own decisions and understand the process of making right decisions. Another important fact we must recognise is that, on its own, no decision is right or wrong. As an individual we need to consciously make our decisions right. Thus, you can never find readymade right decisions to take (although we keep looking and asking for them, dont we?). So, it is incorrect to say that we take right decisions we must rather say we make right decisions. You cannot take decisions, as there are no readymade right decisions to take, we must make our decisions right.

Summary There are two takeaways:

Seen universally, decisions are never right or wrong Decisions are right or wrong only when seen in a particular context We dont take right decisions, we make right decisions We must learn how to make the right decisions and thus this book is called The Power Of Making Decisions Right.

HOW THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOU

Here is what I can promise you will gain from this book, or by attending my workshops on decision making,

The ability to learn from our decisions is the biggest strength of true leaders.

Promise 1: You will have all the required knowledge and tools to make right decisions forever. Yes, this knowledge, the tools you will pick up, and the power you will learn to channelise, will last you a lifetime Surprised? I know that this seems to be a very bold statement, but I am sure you are curious to know if it is possible to learn how to make the right decisions. If you are sceptical about my claims about giving you this knowledge, the power to make right decisions, well, you dont have to take my word on it. Find out for yourself! Read through this book, attempt the worksheets and you will be pleasantly surprised at all that you learn. Promise 2: You will also have the unique ability and power to convert all your past wrong decisions into right ones. This might sound impossible, but using the processes explained in this book, it is possible to convert your past wrong decisions into right ones today. I am sure you have taken at least one decision in your past, which you probably regret. If you are nodding your head, this means you have just recollected the painful details of a decision that you think was wrong, and you still regret it. Given a choice, would you like to convert that wrong decision into a right one in the present, so that you never have to regret it anymore? I bet your answer is yes! Yes, I want to change the past, I want to make it right again.

I hear you! If this is your answer, then you are in the right place, my friend. Once you understand whats in this book, you will be able to correct your past decisions. Promise 3: You will gain the ability to learn and grow from every decision you have made in the past, and enhance your decision-making powers. The ability to learn from our decisions is the biggest strength of true leaders. Thus, their strength to make right decisions is enhanced every time they take a decision. Most people weaken their own decision-making power, because they do not learn from their previous decisions. But, now it is time for you to join the group of successful leaders so even your decision-making strength will increase every day. I promise you that the knowledge in this book will help you learn and grow from every decision you made in the past rather than being stuck with it and regret it.

REAL LIFE DECISIONS

I once met four friends who were unable to make some very important decisions in their life. I was able to coach them successfully and helped them make the right decisions. I have put forward the entire decision-making process using the narrative technique, because it provides a very valuable real-life perspective. It was late in the evening when four friends Raj, Tina, John, and Tony were deep in conversation about pending decisions in their lives, and how they were failing to reach any conclusion. They had all been grappling with certain problems for a very long time and were very upset with their inability to make the right decision. They all agreed that everything in their life had been negatively affected by this. Not only were they extremely frustrated, but also completely stressed out day after day, wondering what to do next. Just before they were about to go their separate ways, John remembered seeing an advertisement for my organisation, Guiding Light Consultants, and told them about my promise to help people make the right decisions in their life. John remembered reading about the coaching sessions and workshops that I conduct. Within seconds they were on the phone with me, fixing up an appointment. Raj and Tina were excited about meeting me, whereas John and Tony were skeptical but wanted to give this a shot. After all, they had nothing to lose. The next day, bright and early, Raj, Tina, John, and Tony stood before me. Here is what happened and how they all found what they were looking for the right decision! ***

Mitesh: Hello everybody, how are you all today? Raj: Hi Mitesh, we are fine. How are you? Mitesh: I am excellent, thanks. Before we start, could I request each one of you to tell me briefly about yourself and your pending decisions? Raj: Sure, Ill start. I am an engineer and have been working in a multinational organisation. I always wanted to earn a Masters degree in Business Administration (MBA) so that I have a better career. Since I already hold a full-time job, it is difficult for me to join a MBA course, which is also full-time. I am also not able to decide if I should do my Masters, because I am the only earning member in my family and have three people at home to support financially. So Mitesh, my problem is, should I leave my job and do my Masters, or should I continue with my job? I am not able to decide. Mitesh: Nothing to worry about, we will work on it. John: I am an entrepreneur and have also been making additional money through trading on the stock exchange. Mostly, I have made good profits from the market, however, recently, I sustained a sizeable loss due to a particular stock. This definitely has been a painful and unforgettable experience. Because of this loss, I have now become very scared of the stock market. But, at present there is a really good opportunity, which can get me very good returns and also help me recover my earlier loss. But, Mitesh, I am not able to decide if I should take the risk of dealing in stocks ever again. Mitesh: Okay John, we will help you make a right decision. Now Tony, give me a brief of your pending decision. Tony: I am a senior executive in a software company, and have gained a lot of experience in this field. I am very good at providing innovative solutions for IT companies, so I aspire to have my own consulting firm. Since currently I have a

highly paid job, I have financial security, which will disappear if I start my own business. I will also have to borrow money from the bank as I do not have enough funds to start up on my own. I am in a dilemma. Should I take the risk and start my business, or continue working in my current secure job? I am married and have a family that is dependent on me. Also, there are a few loan instalments to pay. Mitesh: Well, this sounds like an entrepreneur in making. We definitely have an answer for you too, Tony. Tina, what about you? Whats your story? Tina: I got married after I graduated and decided to be a housewife. I knew my husband before we married, and I thought I had married the man of my dreams. However, after two years of my marriage, I think I made a mistake. My husband is not as romantic as I thought he was. He respects me and takes care of all my needs, but he is not spontaneous and also not dynamic enough to stand up for himself. Since, I am financially dependent on my husband, but not satisfied emotionally, I do not know whether I should continue in this relationship or leave? Mitesh: Fine. The issues are not as big as they look to all of you, we can very easily work on them and find the right decisions. All I need is a short session with all of you. I can already see a twinkle of hope, joy, and eagerness in your eyes.

Summary Raj is not able to decide whether he should continue working, or leave his job and enter a MBA programme. John is not able to decide whether he should risk dipping into the stock market, after a very bad experience. Tony cannot decide if he should leave his job and start his own business, or if he should continue with his secure and highly paid job. Tina is not able to decide whether she should continue living with her husband, or if she should leave the relationship. Coming up, is a transcript of the conversation that I had with them all, and with them you will also learn how to make the right decisions. So, continue reading this wonderful story that teaches you the lesson of a lifetime.

THE RIGHT DECISION FORMULA

Raj: Now that you know our problems, how should we go about resolving them? Do you have a systematic process that we can follow to make right decisions? Mitesh: Yes, there is a systematic process, in fact I am about to share with you the power of making right decisions. Since I have taught these techniques to many people I have been able to design simple and systematic steps. Why dont all of you take a notepad and pen and answer the following questions. Today, I will not only help you make right decisions when it comes to your current confusions, but I will also teach you the technique, so you can always make the right decisions in your life. Now, answer the following questions: a. What are the many other pending decisions in your life, which you have been avoiding, or have been unable to make? b. From this list, which is the most important decision for you? c. Also list the wrong decisions you have made in the past, which you regret even today, and would like to set right. John: Okay, give us a few minutes.

Now heres my invitation to you, dear reader. Practise and understand this powerful technique of making decisions and I bet that by the end of this book you will have the knowledge and ability to make right decisions through your life. Dont just read this book, work with me and you will be glad you did so. Go ahead answer these three questions before you read the next page, in which I reveal the four facts of decision making.

Mitesh: If you have finished writing, we can continue. There are four basic facts regardless of what kind of decision you need to make. I am making you aware of these facts before I explain to you the step-by-step process to help you arrive at the right decision. It is very important for us to understand these facts, so that we do not fall into the obvious pitfalls of decision making. Tony: What are the obvious pitfalls? Mitesh: You will soon learn that too, dont worry. The 1st Fact of Decision Making Mitesh: Here is a question which will lead you to the first fact, Every decision comes with a cost, is that true or false? After thinking for a while, everybody said, True! Every decision has a cost. Mitesh:: Thats right. Every decision comes at a cost, no matter how small or big. We might not be able to see it sometimes, but it is always there. The difference can be in the type of the cost, but it is always there. I am sure you have heard that every action has an equally powerful reaction. Everyone nodded. Mitesh: Let me explain this with an example. I have a friend called Seema, who was working as a personal secretary for a senior executive in an IT company. Seemas boss used to give her a lot of his personal work, which Seema did not like to do. I helped her realise that there is a cost to saying yes as well as a cost to saying no. If she continued to say yes to her boss whenever he gave her his personal work, then the cost is that she does not like working for him and is upset. Also, the cost is that she was developing a strong dislike towards herself and her boss, which is not a good feeling. If she says no to her boss, then he might start disliking her, which she has been afraid of.

I explained to her that every decision comes at a cost. In fact, not taking a decision is also a decision and that too comes at a cost. Once she understood this, she realised that there is no way to run, there is a cost to each option. Later, I explained the entire decision making technique to her, which helped her make the right decision. At the end, to my surprise, she actually chose to do her bosss personal work. But, the difference was that now this was her decision and she is very happy with it. Just like Seema, we too must realise that every decision comes at a cost. So, do we all understand the first fact? The four friends nodded. The 2nd Fact of Decision Making Mitesh: We have understood that every decision has a cost. Now to discover the second fact, answer this question. Is the cost an option, or a reality? Tina: I think it is an option. Raj: How can cost be an option? The cost is a reality that we cannot deny. Since we have already agreed and understood that every decision has a cost whether we like it or not, then it has to be reality. Mitesh: You are absolutely right, Raj. The cost is not an option, it is a reality! Just the way the law of gravity exists, the cost of every decision also exists, whether we like it or not. No matter how hard we look for a decision without any cost, we wont find one, because the cost is not an option. If you get married then there is a cost to the marriage. The cost will pinch you if you are not having a great life, but if you have a brilliant satisfying marriage then you wont feel the cost, but it is still there, although you dont notice it. Tina: What is the cost of a great married life? Mitesh: Even if you have a great married life, you still have to make some compromises and adjustments with the new family members, new lifestyles, a new home, new life partner, accepting his/her habits some of which you cannot change. The difference is, since you are enjoying your life you do not mind doing all these

compromises, adjustments, or sacrifices. You do not look at these things as a cost you have to pay, but it is still a cost. Tina and the others smiled and nodded to show they accepted this fact. Mitesh: So can you recollect the two facts we have learned so far? Everyone said, Every decision has a cost whether we like it or not, and the cost is not an option it is a reality. The 3rd Fact of Decision Making Mitesh: Great! Now lets move to the third fact. There are two types of costs that come along with every decision that we take. One, the known or predictable cost. This is the cost, which we can see or analyse during the decision making process or predict. Then we have the unknown or unpredictable cost. This is the cost, which we cannot analyse or predict before making the decision. The prediction of the cost also depends on the analysis we make while thinking about the decision. If we analyse the problem confronting us in detail, then there will be a very low, or minimal costs which will be unknown to us while we make the decision. For instance, when we make a small decision such as waking up late in the morning, we know the cost and can predict that we will reach the office late. However, we may not foresee that the result of reaching late could be working late in the evening and missing out on the fun that you could have had with your friends and family. So, you see, there is a known cost and an unknown cost for every small or big decision of life. Lets take one real life example, which will help you understand all these three facts. I have a friend who is a successful manager in a multinational organisation. She has spent most of her life outside India. She has a daughter whom she left behind in India so that the child could study uninterrupted by her mothers constant travelling. When my friend decided to leave her child behind, her intention was that her child should learn Indian culture and values, which can be learnt best by living in India and having an Indian education.

Did she perform a cost analysis while making that decision? Yes, she had done a cost analysis. The known cost was that while her daughter would pick up good Indian cultural values and education, she would not get the presence of her parents. Even though my friend would have to stay away from her daughter for a long period of time, she was ready to pay all these known costs. Now, since her daughter has hardly stayed with her parents, she is now used to living her life without any instructions from her parents. However, my friend and her husband are now back in India and are staying with her. Obviously, the parents keep monitoring their childs studies and other things, which the daughter does not appreciate at all. So, the daughter is now unhappy and does not like the way her parents are interfering in her life anymore. Seen through the eyes of my friend, this is the unknown or unpredictable cost of the decision that she had taken many years ago when she decided to leave her daughter behind. Now, does she have an option of not paying the cost? No! She does not have that option, she has to pay this cost whether she likes it or not. This is a great example for us to see all the three facts clearly. How every decision has a cost, how the cost is a reality not an option, and that there are two types of costs, known or predictable, and unknown or unpredictable costs. With all that we have learned so far, are you beginning to understand how to make the decisions you came here for? Tony: Yes, I understand now that getting started on my own business, or staying in my secure job, both come at a cost. Since the cost is not an option, but a reality, I must start listing the known costs. Although, I think, I must also be mentally prepared for the unpredictable costs so that I do not get too many surprises in future. Mitesh: Bravo Tony! You have almost understood the entire technique of making right decisions.

Raj: I am clear about these facts now, but I am still confused about which is the right decision for me. Should I continue working, or apply for a Masters degree? Mitesh: You are still confused between right or wrong. Let me tell you the real confusion that people have about making decisions. If you all understand this, then making decisions will be simple and quick. Are you all ready to learn further? Everybody was eager and Mitesh could see that they were now at the edge of their seats. He continued. The 4th Fact - Real Confusion Mitesh: Many people are confused about making decisions in life. Students are confused when deciding between further education or getting a job Business people are not able to decide between expanding their business, or not A bachelor is confused when it comes to marriage, he is not sure if the girl is right or wrong for him An employee is confused whether to tell the boss when he/she is not comfortable doing a certain job or project The whole world seems to think that the real confusion is about right and wrong. But today, I want you to know that the confusion is never about which decision is right or wrong. The confusion is never between Decision A or Decision B. The real confusion is completely hidden and people dont want to confront it. This confusion is the biggest barrier that stops people from making the right decisions. Most of us are not able to clear this hidden confusion simply because we are all distracted by the superficial confusion of right versus wrong. So, what is this confusion? All four of them tried to come up with an answer, but after offering a few guesses, they gave up.

Mitesh: You will be shocked when you hear that the entire human race is stuck because of this confusion. The real confusion is that as human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost happily. Read this again. As human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost happily! Thats right. We all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost happily. Even if we pay the cost, we pay it with regret or sadness. Tina, if you look at your problem closely, you are trying to find an option that will save you from paying the cost of leaving your husband and having to sacrifice your needs. And Raj, you are looking for a decision where you keep getting paid as well as get to do a full-time Masters degree from IIM. John, you are looking for a decision where you can continue investing in shares with no risk of failure. Tony, you want to start a business while you dont want to pay the cost of leaving a job that gives you security. All of us are in search of choices where we do not have to pay the cost of deciding one way or the other. You all know that you have specific options available, but there are also some known and unknown costs. Lets take your example Raj. Let me suggest a simple decision as an option to you. Lets say you convince your current organisation to sponsor your Masters degree and give you a part-time job. Would that make you happy? Raj: I tried that Mitesh, and they agreed to do it. They were in fact ready to pay 50% of my salary as well give me the part-time job. Mitesh: Then whats the problem with that option?

Raj: They are asking me to sign a contract with them, which says that I will continue with them for three years after completing my degree. Mitesh: And you do not want to do that? Raj: No, because then the purpose of the Masters from IIM is lost. As soon as I finish my degree from IIM, I will get a job with a very big pay packet in a better multinational organisation. So, I definitely dont want to sign a contract with my current organisation. Mitesh: So you see Raj, you cannot take that option since you are not willing to pay the cost. Thats fine, so lets look for some more options. What are the other options you have? Raj: My colleague suggested that I should forget about the Masters and continue focusing on my job and excel at it. Mitesh: Well, that is possible isnt it? Raj: Its possible, but I am not happy to grow at average speed. For extraordinary speed, I must get the leverage of a Masters degree. Mitesh: You dont want to take this option because you dont want to pay the cost of growing slowly, is that right? Raj: Yes! Mitesh: Great, but lets look at your other options as well. How about leaving your job and applying for a full-time Masters programme? Raj: Thats not possible since I have a family to support. Mitesh: You are not ready to pay the cost of letting someone else take care of the financial responsibilities? Raj: Yes, thats right.

Mitesh: Observe and understand that no matter how many options we explore, but because of being stuck in this attitude of not wanting to pay the cost that we will always remain unhappy and confused. Human beings have had to deal with this confusion for ages, and probably will forever continue to face this reluctance to pay the cost. We keep looking for a free option which does not exist. When we look for something which does not exist, we get lost, confused, and powerless. We all need to stop looking for an option, which has no cost, we need to first accept the fact that every decision has a cost and it is a reality, not an option. Once we accept these facts, we will stop looking for an option where there is no cost to pay. Then we are ready to make realistic and right decisions. So, have we agreed that we need to stop looking for a free option? If we are, then I shall now give you the final formula for making right decisions. Everyone nodded and agreed that they were no longer looking for a free option. The Formula to Right Decisions Mitesh: Now that you know the four basic facts of making decisions, lets quickly recap them. Tony: First fact, Every decision has a cost whether we like it or not. John: Second fact, The cost is not an option, it is a reality. Raj: Third fact, Costs are of two kinds, known or predictable, and unknown or unpredictable. Tina: Fourth fact, As human beings, we all want to make decisions, but most of the time we dont want to pay the cost happily. Mitesh: Now that you know the facts accurately. Tell me what is the formula for making right decisions?

Tina: I am not sure about the formula, but I think it has something to do with clearing the biggest confusion about not wanting to pay the cost. Mitesh: You are quite close, Tina. Does anybody else have any other ideas about what the formula could be? Everybody was silent for a while, but finally asked Mitesh to go ahead. Mitesh: Fine, here is the formula, but make sure you let it sink in before you reach any conclusions! The formula is simple and you need time to explore its full potential. If you pay the cost happily and courageously then your decisions will become right, but if you pay your cost with regret then your decisions will become wrong. John: How can you be so sure about this formula? Mitesh: Very good question. I am sure each one of you would have taken some decisions in your life, which you think were right and you still think you are right. Yet some people around you think you were wrong. Give me an example of one such decision in your life. John: During my graduation, I realised that I am not good at studies, but I was good in business. Hence, I decided to leave my education and started my own small business. When I left the education halfway through, obviously a lot of people around me were not happy with my decision. Even today, many people feel I would have done better if I would have completed my studies, but I still feel I am in business because I left college. If I would have studied, today I would have a job in a multinational company, but not my own business. I think my decision was and is right even today. Mitesh: Do you know why? But, before answering this question, tell me how do you feel when people ask you about your education? John: I feel very comfortable telling people that I am an undergraduate. Mitesh: Do you feel scared about what people will think when they hear that?

John: No, in fact I feel proud, because today I am doing much better than many of my highly educated friends. I do agree that education is important in life, but I feel that the decision I took then was also right. Today, I am very successful in my business and I am proud of myself. Mitesh: Do you know why your decision is still right for you? John: Because I am happy with the success that I have today. Mitesh: When you started the business did you ever struggle or fail for some time, like most people would? John: Yes, of course. I failed quite a few times and had to struggle for a few years. Mitesh: During those hard days, did you ever regret your decision of leaving your studies half way? Did you feel that if you had done your studies, you could have done better? John: Those days and those small failures were tough, but I never regretted my decision. Even if I had completed my education, I knew that the struggle and failures are part of life. Mitesh: So you think your decision was and is right, despite the failure and the success? John: Yes, thats right. Mitesh: So then, answer my question again. What makes you think your decision is right even though there are people who still feel you are wrong? John: I think I didnt mind paying the cost of the struggle and failure that I went through. Mitesh: Your decision is right for you, because you have paid the cost of your decision happily and courageously and you continue to do so even today. The cost of going through the ups and down of business

The cost of people having a negative attitude towards the fact that you are an undergraduate The cost of working hard during hard times You have paid all of these costs happily and courageously, thus today you have made a right decision. John: Now I see what you mean. Mitesh: But John, please tell me, has it been easy to pay this cost all these years? John: No, it has not been easy, in fact it was tough for quite some time, but I knew that if I went through the hard times courageously then I would definitely succeed, as I did! Mitesh: So, one more lesson to learn is that a right decision is not always equal to an easy decision. That is because it is not always easy to pay the cost. But since you had chosen to pay the cost courageously in spite of going through difficult times, your decision is still right. John: Yes, I completely agree with you and am also starting to understand the formula now. If I pay the cost happily and courageously then my decisions will become right, but if I pay my cost with regret then my decisions will become wrong. Mitesh: Yes John, you got the formula absolutely correct. But tell me, what would happen if one fine day you start regretting the fact that people think you are nothing more than a mere undergraduate? John: Then my decision would seem wrong. I see your point, if I regret my cost I can make even my right decision into a wrong one. Mitesh: Now you got it perfectly! Tony: I also understand what the formula means, because I can relate this to a lot of my decisions, which are right for me, but for other people these are wrong decisions.

Tina: For other people our decisions may be wrong because they cant see themselves paying the cost, which we are paying courageously. Raj: So this is how soldiers think when they have to fight for their country, because they are willing to pay the cost of death courageously. Mitesh: Thats right. You have all got the formula. So just say it once more for me. Everyone said, if we pay the cost happily and courageously, then our decisions will become right, but if we pay it with regret then it become wrong. Mitesh: Excellent. Why dont you start listing the various costs for your decisions, so that we can choose which one to pay and start making right decisions.

Dear Reader, I hope you will do this exercise as well.

FINDING THE COST OF YOUR DECISION

Raj: But how can I choose the cost? Tony: On what basis should we make the choice?

Values are conscious and subconscious priorities that we make.

Tina: Is there a technique when it comes to choosing, or we can do it randomly, going by our gut feeling? Mitesh: These are all very important questions. To understand how to choose the cost we need to discuss a very important and integral part of our life, its called values! We all live our life based on the values we have imbibed through our life. All the decisions of our life are also driven by our values. John: What are values? Mitesh: Values are conscious and subconscious priorities that we make. All our choices and decisions are completely based on our values. Most of our values come to us from our parents, family and friends. Tina: I think we mostly inherit our values from our parents. Mitesh: Thats right Tina, we learn most of our values from our parents, however values are not static. As life changes, our values keep changing in importance, thus affecting their hierarchy. Tony: Hierarchy? How? Mitesh: Yes, there is a hierarchy comprising the first, second, and third priorities in our life. Mostly your core values remain the same, however, you will see them changing their position in your hierarchy. For instance, when you are a student and young, you will find yourself spending most of your time with your friends and not with your family. At that age, what are your priorities?

Raj: At that age our priority is having fun with friends, not being with our family. Mitesh: Thats right. This means having fun with friends is one of the top values and spending time with the family is the next priority in our hierarchy of values at that age. When you grow up and get married and have kids, soon you start to love spending more and more time with your family, and have very little time for your friends. This means that your values have changed their place on the hierarchy. The family is on top, and spending time with friends is much lower in the hierarchy. Let me share a story with you. I have a friend called Maria. She used to take care of herself very well and also used to shop a lot for herself. When she became a mother, her focus shifted on to her kid. She started taking care of her kid more than she used to take care of herself. Most of her shopping is now for her kid than for herself. What has changed? Her values have changed their position on the hierarchy. Caring for the family has become her most important value. Tony: I understand this, but what are values but how do we realise what our values are? Mitesh: Explaining values will require a very long conversation to understand all its facets, which we will not be able to cover now. However, I will briefly explain how you can find your values and how you can understand what another persons values are. This brief explanation will give you a fair idea about your values and thus help you choose your cost appropriately and make the right decisions. A simple way to find out your values is by checking what are you fighting for, or defending. You will find that you always fight for your values. Of course, this is not the best or the only way to arrive at a list of your values, but it can definitely give you a fair idea of it. Lets do a small and quick question-answer session. You need to think about the problem I throw at you. And, you need to justify your answers. Would you like to keep your child in crche (day care centre) so that you and your spouse can work and make money?

Raj: No, I would not like to bring up my child in a crche. Instead, I would prefer one of us taking care of our child. I do not mind if we make less money, but for me my child is more important. Tina: I would not mind sending my child to a crche, because for me my career is as important as my husbands career. For me, giving the best facilities to my child is also important, hence I would like to work and make more money for my child. Tony: I agree with Raj, I would not want anybody else bringing up my child. I would love it if my wife were to stay at home and take care of our child. John: I am not yet married, so I cant comment on this. But for me, my wife and child would be equally important, so if she prefers working instead of babysitting then I would let her do that. I would not make her sacrifice her dreams to fulfil my dreams. Mitesh: Wow, excellent replies! Now can you tell me who is right and who is wrong? John: Well, we all are right according to what we value the most. Although, nobody is really completely right or wrong. Mitesh: Excellent, John. Universally, there is no single right or wrong decision for anything, decisions are right or wrong only when seen on a case by case basis. No one is wrong here because you have all answered this question based on your value systems. Whichever value is your top priority, you defended it and accordingly took your decision. Raj is already willing to pay the cost of making less money, but he would rather have his child brought up by him and his wife and not a babysitter. He made this decision right by choosing his cost based on his values. For him, the family is on top, and growth and success is secondary. Tony agreed with Raj because his value hierarchy is the same as Raj, and thus their decisions are the same. They immediately chose their cost happily and courageously. For Tina, her decision is to send the child to the crche, because she values and respects her career as much as her husbands. Besides, she also values the comfort

and success that her career would make possible for her child. Based on her most important values, she has made her decision right and no argument can make her wrong. Similarly, for John, his most important value is ensuring that his wife is happy, and thus he would be happy to send his child to the crche if she wants to pursue her career. If not, he is also happy if she decides to take care of the child at home. His clear values have made him strong enough to choose the cost and make the right decisions even before he gets married. Well, he is definitely ready to be a good husband and a father right now! Everyone laughed at this, but told Mitesh that they were not sure how to analyse the cost that they would willingly pay, based on their most important values at a given moment in time. Mitesh: I have listed a few values in a table, it is not an exhaustive list. If you think I have missed anything, please feel free to add those values in the table. I would like all of you to do one exercise before we move ahead. This exercise will help you find your values. Read through the table, and choose eight values that you think best fit you. Remember, the choices should be made on the basis of what you are and not what you would like to be. Tina: Could you please give us one more example so that we get more clarity on the concept of values? Mitesh: Sure! Now, imagine that there are two friends, both are good in their chosen profession and work in the same organisation. However, one of them decides to go home at 6 in the evening, and the other decides to stay back at work till late in the evening. According to you, who is wrong? The one who goes back home early, or the other one who works till late evening? Raj: The one who goes home on time.

John: No, the one who unnecessarily stays late at work. Mitesh: Actually nobody is wrong here. They just have different value systems that are organised according to their chosen hierarchy. One believes in leaving home early for spending time with his family and the other believes in working extra to realise his ambitions. One values his family more than work, and the other values his ambitions more than his family, in that moment of their life. Since Raj defended the person who works late, Raj values working hard over spending time with his family, whereas John, you value your family more and believe in going home at an appropriate time. So, you see, we all make our decisions right by choosing to pay our cost happily and courageously. However, we will be choose that cost only when it is clearly aligned with our values. When we choose to pay a cost that comes with a decision that goes against our values, we will most certainly regret that cost in the near future and this makes our decisions wrong. Lets take one more example. If you ask students, what are your priorities or values in life? They will tell you studies, a good career, and having fun. But often, you will find students missing their classes for a movie or a party. Theoretically, they might mention different values to you, but their actions demonstrate different values or priorities. So they are really unclear about what they really value. Do they want to prioritise having fun over being successful? The moral of the story is, please check your actions before finalising your values. As our actions are a reflection of our true values. Now that you all are clear on how to choose values, please start the exercise and choose the values yourself.

Dear Reader, why dont you join us! Please choose the eight values that you hold dear over the others in the list, and continue reading only after you have done this.

Values
Dependable Passion Understanding Creative Adaptable to change Consistency Honesty Career Development Respect for others Customer focused Quality Gratitude Responsibility Love Family Integrity Trust Fairness Achievement Recognition Credibility Empowerment Effectiveness Transparent Lifelong learning Initiative Compassion Justice Impulsive Fun Team Player Leaving a Legacy Accountable Maintain Balance Entrepreneur Risk taking Competence Commitment Freedom Faith Peace Truth

Tony: Okay Mitesh, we have chosen eight values from the list. Mitesh: Great! Now, from this list of eight values, choose four, and once you have done that choose only two. Tina: Done. Mitesh: Good! These two values are your top two values. Of course, in the next few days you have to keep checking this list. Are you always behaving in favour of these two values, if not, you will need to do this exercise again and find your right values. Okay, tell me what values have you chosen in the final draft? Raj: My top values are family and career. Tony: Family and security. John: Risk taking ability and money. Tina: Security and Fun. Mitesh: Now you know what your priorities are and thus based on this you can choose to pay your cost courageously and happily.

THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS

Raj: I am so excited today! I am sure to find the right decision and get out of my confusion. Mitesh: You have derived your values, so now you are now ready to work on your decisions.

While analysing the costs of our decision, we can ask our friends and family to help. They can contribute by giving us their perspective of the possible cost of our decisions.

You need to identify the available options for each problem you have and then analyse the cost attached to each option. Remember that the cost can be known as well as unknown. Raj: I dont think I am getting this. What do you mean by options? Mitesh: To explain this better let me work with you. Can we? Raj: Yes, Mitesh. Mitesh: In our earlier conversation, while we were talking about the fourth fact we have already discussed your problem and its cost, but to make it more clear lets have that conversation once again. Raj: Mitesh, my confusion is that I would like to do a Masters in Business Administration, but I cant leave my current job as I am the only earning member in my family. Mitesh: And you are not able to decide between studying further and working, right? Raj: Yes, perfect! Mitesh: Okay! Here are some suggestions that are the options you have. Since you are not able to leave the current job, join the evening school and do your Masters. Raj: I found out about this, but if I join evening school then I wont have any time left for myself and my family. This is the cost of the first option.

Mitesh: You have a point, in that case why dont you think of doing the Masters through a distant learning education programme? You do not have to attend any class and you still get the certificate. Raj: I found about that as well, but Mitesh, the certifications done through distance learning programmes are not as valuable as a full-time course from IIM. This is the cost of my second option. Mitesh: In that case Raj, you have only one option left, leave your job and attend the Masters course. Raj: I cant leave the job, as my family will have to face financial problems. Mitesh: If thats the case, then drop your idea of doing the Masters and continue with your job. This is your fourth option. Raj: But, what about my aspirations? Mitesh: Now, everyone, have you noticed the different options for Rajs problems? Raj: One is doing my Masters in an evening school. Mitesh: Correct, and what is the cost you will have to pay? Raj: No time for myself and my family. Mitesh: List all the other options and analyse their cost. Tony: Opt for a distant learning programme, and the cost for that is it has no value. John: Leaving the job is another option, but the cost is that his familys expenses will not be met. Tina: Not doing his MBA, is also an option and the cost for that is that Raj will have to sacrifice his aspirations. Mitesh: Perfect, so now you all have understood what I mean by available options and analysing their costs. Remember, there may not be just one cost for every option, there can be multiple costs, so do analyse carefully. While analysing the costs of our decision, we can ask our friends and family to help. They can contribute by giving us their perspective of the possible cost of our decisions.

Sometimes, other people are able to see what we cannot and that perspective can help us realistically arrive at the known and unknown costs of our decision. So, instead of asking our friends and family for what the right decision is, which we have realised does not exist, we must ask them for what the possible cost of our decisions could be. However, the final choice should be made only by you. Now, back to your notepads and write down the options available to you and analyse and mention the related costs. The best way to do this is by creating columns for each option. This gives you complete clarity on each option and its costs.

RAJ: OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Option Part-Time study No time for myself and Distance Learning Value of the Leave the job and study Family will face a financial crisis. Continue no studies Will have to sacrifice my dreams. working,

degree is not as good IIMs.

the family. Degree not valuable. is

It

will

not my

Family will have to support me.

Career growth will be slow.

boost career.

Related cost

It will not boost career. I will not be proud myself. of my

I will not be proud of myself.

I will get a good degree.

Family will have my financial support.

I can have a great career degree. Will be able to provide a good life to my family. with this

Mitesh: Please let me know if you have any doubts, or once you are done writing. Tina: Mitesh, I think I need your help as well. I am not able to decide on my problem yet. Mitesh: Tina, you have two clear options, either continue in the relationship, or leave it. I would say, you leave the relationship. Tina: If I leave the relationship then I would get my freedom, I will have an opportunity to find the man of my dreams. But, I am not educated enough to get a good job How will I take care of my expenses?

My parents will suffer unnecessarily. His parents will also suffer. How will I take care of my baby alone? Will I be able to find a nice person for myself? What if that person does not accept me and my baby? Mitesh: I can see that the cost of leaving your relationship is very high for you. In that case I suggest you decide to continue in the relationship. Tina: But then Mitesh, How long I am going to sacrifice my life and my feelings? I am not enjoying my life I feel as if there is no life in this relationship As such he takes care of me completely, but there is no chemistry between him and me We have no love left for each other Often we have nothing to talk about I do not want to live this kind of life I want to have fun in my life. I want to have romance. Of course, there are a lot of benefits in this relationship, such as, all my expenses and social needs are taken care of by him. He is very sweet and helpful. He takes care of our baby very well. Mitesh: Since you are not sure of your decision, let me suggest another one. I have a third option, but you might not like that as well. Tina: What is that?

Mitesh: Have an affair. Tina: How can you give me that option! I cant even think of it. It is definitely not my culture and it has its own negative repercussions. I dont even want to go that way. Mitesh: Excellent! You now have in front of you all the available options and their costs. Please write them down on the notepad, so that you can choose the cost you can pay. Tina: I have understood all the options and their costs, is it still necessary to write it again? Mitesh: Yes Tina, we must always write down our options and costs. Dont skip that step . Our mind has the ability to overestimate and exaggerate or underestimate or reduce the cost, hence writing is always good. For example, say you feel like leaving your husband, then your mind will underestimate or reduce the cost of leaving the relationship and make you feel as if it is lesser than the cost of staying in the relationship. So, please always use pen and paper and write everything down. Tina: Thanks Mitesh, I understand now, I will write it down.

TINA : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Options Stay in the current Leave husband Have an affair

relationship

I dont feel happy.

I will have my freedom and be able to have fun.

Too many issues.

No romance, love, or chemistry relationship. in this

The opportunity to find the man of my dreams.

My expenses are taken care of.

How will I manage my kid alone?

My baby has a father, and he takes care of us Related Costs very well.

am

not

financially

independent, how will I take care of my

expenses?

All my social needs are fulfilled

How will I get a good job, I am not educated enough.

Have an excellent and supporting family.

Will I get a good partner?

He is very sweet and helpful.

Will I be able to fulfil all my social needs?

Will I be happy with my new partner?

Will

have

such

supporting family in the future?

Our parents will suffer.

Mitesh: How about you guys? Tony, John? Have you been able to write anything? John: I think I have identified all my options. But, I would like you to work with me, the way you worked with Raj and Tina. Just in case I missed anything. Mitesh: How many options do you have? John: I have two options. Either I invest extra money and recover my earlier loss, or I dont take another risk and recover my earlier loss through my current business. One option looks like a shortcut, but fraught with risk, and the other option is almost riskfree, but will take lots of time. Mitesh: Lets say you choose to take the shortcut and invest extra money, then what is the cost? John: If I invest extra money, then there is the risk of losing that money. I definitely have a chance of recovering my earlier losses, however I also have the risk of losing this investment. If I recover the money, then I will be happy, but if I lose any money then I will have to sell my current business to pay off my debts. Mitesh: Very goodgo on. John: If I have to sell the business then I will have to start my career from scratch again. I will also lose my trust in the stock market. However, if I recover my earlier losses then I will regain my trust in the stock market, which I had. Its a very big risk as well as a very good shortcut. Mitesh: What does your study of the market say? John: It says that I will recover my money, but then you never know about the market, if anything goes wrong in any part of the world and the market is affected, then it can go down as well. Mitesh: Okay, if you choose not to invest any more money and recover your losses through your business, then what? John: Then life will be simple, not challenging. I will not have to borrow any more money and I will recover the losses eventually.

Mitesh: Will you be able to recover such a big loss from your current business? John: It is possible, but it will take time. It wont be easy, according to my study of the stock market. I will have to sacrifice my current lifestyle since I will be taking a big chunk out of my profits to recover my money. Also, my business will be safe. The sad thing is that I will lose my trust in the stock market and I will not be able to take any more risks in the stock market. Mitesh: Now tell me, are you married? John: No not yet, hence I can think of taking these risks. Mitesh: How will your table of options look? In fact John, while I work with Tony, please write down all your options and costs as we discussed, in the table.

JOHN : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Options Invest more money to recover earlier losses Do not invest any more money in the market

Borrow more money

Risk is low

Very high risk

No chance of losing any more money

If I recover my money then I will regain my faith in the stock market

Will have to compromise on my current living standards

Will recover my losses

Recovery of losses will take time

Will not have any burden of debts Related Costs

I will always have doubts about my risk taking abilities

Will be able to continue with my current living standards

Will never be able to trust the market

If I lose money, then I will lose my complete trust in the stock market.

Might lose this money as well

Might have to sell my current business to pay off debts

Might have to start my career from scratch

Mitesh: How is it going Tony? Tony: I also have two options, either leave the job and start my own consultancy, offering innovative solutions to IT firms. Or, continue in my current job and give innovative ideas to my current organisation. Mitesh: Lets look at your favourite option, i.e. leaving the job and starting a consultancy firm. Tony: If I start my own firm, then I will have freedom. I will be able to work as I want to. I will be very happy and passionate about my work, because it is my passion. But, I will have to leave my job, borrow some money to start the firm as I do not have enough funds. I am married and have a family, so this will be a bigger risk for me. They will have to make compromises, since initially there will be very little or no income from my new firm. In the long term, I will be able to make much more money than I am making currently in my job. My heart belongs to my own firm, hence I will be more motivated to expand my firm than to work for someone else. Mitesh: What about your family? Will they support you? Tony: My family will be able to support me emotionally, but financially its not possible. Mitesh: Lets look at your other option. If you stay in your current job, then what? Tony: In that case, I will not be able to fulfil my dreams of having my own firm. My family will not have to compromise on anything. There wont be any risk. I will not have to borrow any money. My career growth will be a little slow and directly dependent on the employer. Mitesh: Put all these items in the table so that it becomes completely clear to you as well.

TONY : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Options Leave the job and start a new consultancy firm Continue with the current job

Will be able to fulfil my dreams

Family will not have to compromise

My career will grow faster

My expertise will get limited exposure in my current job

Related costs Will be able to add value to the IT world My career growth will be slow

Will have to borrow money to start the firm

My dreams will not be fulfilled

Will have to work extra to make the firm successful as fast as possible

I will not have to borrow any money, hence there wont be any debts

Initially, the firm might not make any profits, during those family will have to compromise business is settled till

Risk is very low

Once

business

starts

running

smoothly, family will have better life

PAYING THE COST

Mitesh: Okay everyone, your cost analysis is now done. I will give you a few more minutes, just check your tables, and if you think you have missed anything, please add it now.

If we are making our decisions by choosing the cost courageously and happily, based on our values, then at that given moment it is always the right decision.

Remember and understand that the costs you have written down are only known or predictable costs, there will also be some surprises when you actually start living your decision, be ready to face that as well. Now, based on your value systems, analyse each cost and choose which looks feasible for you, such that you will pay it happily and courageously. Your values will play a big role here, hence you need to make this choice without taking help from anybody. Please do not talk to each other, just read your notepad and check your feelings. Which cost looks feasible for you, one that you will pay happily? Remember the cost has to be paid happily and courageously not just today but forever, to keep your decisions right. Whenever the thought of this decision comes to you, you should have a smile on your face and you should be able to say to yourself that you made a right decision. You should be proud of your decision, and that will happen only if you are satisfied with the cost of the decision. After today, your life will change and you will start living these decisions, which you are making today. Make your choice very carefully and from your heart, after considering your most important values. Once you have decided which cost you are ready to pay happily, please tell me and convince me about it. John, what is your decision?

John: I have decided that I will make another investment in the stock market and take another risk in my life. I am not married and have very few responsibilities. If I run away from taking risks now, then when will I take the risk? I am ready to risk all my money to recover my losses. I will pay my cost happily even if I lose my money again. I am happy with my decision and will always be happy with it. Mitesh: If you lose the money then you said you will have to sell your current business. Would you be happy to sell your business as well? John: I wont say I will be happy to sell my business, but I will face the situation courageously and will never regret this decision of investing extra money. I will courageously start my new life, if I ever have to do that. I know I can make it. One failure cannot stop me from being successful. Mitesh: I knew you would make that choice because risk taking is your highest value. John: If you knew that, then why did you not tell me that right at the start! Mitesh: I wanted you to make the decision, not me. And then you wouldnt have taken any interest in learning this beautiful process. You will now be able to use this technique all your life, for all your decisions in life. In fact, let me share with you how this knowledge of making decisions can help you in the stock market, even in the long run. Everybody was interested to hear this unexpected new piece of information. Mitesh: Warren Buffet, the man who made the largest amount of money in the stock business says, We never manage money, we manage our decisions. This is not his exact words, but what I have understood of his philosophy. Lets take an example here. If we decide to buy 100 stocks of Reliance Industries today for Rs. 500 each, then as per this technique we learned today, we must first analyse the cost involved. In the stock market this is known as Stop Loss and Stop Profit. You must decide how much money you can risk if you were to lose it, and

how much money you want to make as profit from Reliance Industries. This analysis should happen before buying the stock, not after buying it. Most people who invest in the stock market, work on tips or rumours. But people, like Warren Buffet, who are good investors, study and understand all aspects of the stock, which includes the history of the organisation, political influences, the leaders in the organisation, etc. Based on their study they answer the following two questions, What is the maximum cost/loss that I am willing to pay? What is the maximum profit I want to make from this stock? Based on the study, they derive answers, and based on the answers they decide the Stop Loss and Stop Profit for each stock they buy. Before buying 100 stocks of Reliance Industries, we must study the market and analyse the Stop Loss and Profit margin. Say we conducted the study and decided to keep Rs.10 per stock as Stop Loss and Rs.50 per stock as Stop Profit. After a month, this stock touches Rs.550 and we decide to sell this stock and make our profit as planned. But a friend advises us to hold on to this stock for few more days as he feels this stock will go higher. Based on the information provided by this friend, we must again study the stock. Say we studied the matter and found no reasons for this stock to grow further. In this case what should we do? John: We should decide whether we want to take the risk of waiting or book the profit in hand. Mitesh: Correct. We should ask, After a few days, this stock can grow as well as deteriorate. Am I willing to pay the cost of losing my profit margin? Nobody can predict the stock market with 100% accuracy. If the answer is no, then we should sell the stock and make the profit.

Now lets imagine we did that, we sold our stock and made our Rs.50 profit per stock. And after 10 days as predicted by this friend, the stock grows as high as Rs.700. What would you say to yourself? Would you regret your decision? John: Well, I think we should not regret our decision, but consider our decision right because it was not guaranteed that the stock price would go high and thus it could have also gone down to Rs.400. Besides since we had decided to pay our cost happily and courageously, even if the stock price goes high, our decision is still right. Mitesh: Superb John! You are now getting hang of this technique. But tell me, what if I said that maybe I should have analysed the market better, because I really may be wrong. John: In that case our decision still remains right, as we are still paying our cost happily and courageously. Also, in that moment we could analyse the market based on what we saw and knew, it was and is not possible to see and predict everything as we are not God. Thus, I would not regret my decision, instead I would be happy with my decision. However, if we feel we could have done a better analysis, then we are simply saying that our decision was right in that moment and now we see that we could make it even better next time. This way we get better at making more right decisions in the future. Mitesh: Great! That was the perfect answer! I wanted to hear that. What you said in the end is the final and most important part of the decision making process. We are human beings and cannot see everything and cannot predict the future accurately each time. Thus, if we are making our decisions by choosing the cost courageously and happily, based on our values, then at that given moment it is always the right decision. Just like it was the right decision to sell off the stock at the planned Stop Profit of Rs. 550. This way, by making our decisions right we also learn from them, instead of regretting the past forever because of wrong decisions.

John: Yes Mitesh, I do see now that by making right decisions using the technique you taught us, we can make more right decisions in the future. Mitesh: Correct! And if we would have regretted our cost and thereby making our decision wrong, then? John: Then we would have weakened our decision making power, and instead of learning from our past we will always be stuck and disturbed about our past. Mitesh: Exactly! All we need to learn and understand is this, using this technology can strengthen your decisions and make you learn faster from your past. Whereas regretting the cost and making your decisions wrong will only weaken your decision making strength. Also, you will feel stuck and disturbed by your past and this will never let you move on. Observe people in the stock market, they buy and sell stocks without conducting market research, analysis, or even understanding their own emotional ability to pay the cost happily and courageously. Thus, when the time comes to pay the cost of their decisions, they regret it and make their decisions wrong. After repeating this process a few times and making their decisions wrong a few more times, at one point they stop investing in the stock market. John: This is very clear now, because this is exactly what happened to a lot of my friends in the stock market. But I am going to be different as I will implement this technique to make right decisions even in the stock market. This sounds great, Mitesh! Mitesh: Amazing John! Now you understand the meaning of right decisions and how to make them. What about you Raj, what have you decided to do? Raj: I have chosen the option of doing a full-time Masters degree from IIM. The first step is to talk to my family. If they are ready to pay their part of the cost, i.e. if they are ready to take care of themselves financially, then I will go ahead. Mitesh: Very good, will you be able to see your family struggling?

Raj: I wont say I will be happy to see my family struggling, but I will be happy because after two years I will be able to give them a better lifestyle for the rest of my life. Those two years I will face the cost of our struggle with courage. Mitesh: All the very best, and I am sure your family will support you. However, if they refuse to support you, then what? Raj: I thought about this as well. I am sure my family will support me and let me fulfil my dreams, because they have always supported me. However, if they feel they are not in a position to support me, then I will continue with my job and drop the idea of doing the degree, till they are ready. I will be happy in both situations, since I will pay the cost courageously, and make my decision right. Mitesh: Excellent, I can see the confidence. I am sure your family will support you. Your cost is also aligned with your values. Your values were family and career right? Raj: Right! Mitesh: Tina! Have you reached a decision? Tina: Yes Mitesh, I have decided to live in the current relationship, because the cost of leaving the relationship is very high and I do not think I can pay that cost happily. I will continue in the current relationship and will find different ways of having fun within it. Mitesh: What if the thought of having no romance in your life haunts you again? Tina: That is almost certain, but then I will stop indulging in those thoughts and find different ways of finding fun in my relationship. I will face the thought courageously and happily. I know that my husband loves me, and I just need to acknowledge the way he loves me, rather than being stuck about how I want it. Besides, I have realised that even if I get married to someone else, I shall have some costs to pay there as well. The cost will be different, but my habit of regretting the cost will make my decision wrong again in the next relationship also. So, I would rather learn and train myself to pay the cost courageously. I know that my husband is not as romantic as I want him to be. But I am sure I am not as perfect as he

wanted me to be as well. But, he is still paying the cost of being with me happily and courageously, and thus he still believes marrying me was a right decision. Just like him, I shall also accept him completely and learn to see love the way he shows it, not just the way I want to see it all the time. This way I can pay my cost happily and courageously and make my decision of marrying him right. Mitesh: Great Tina, I am proud of you. Tina, and all of you, remember, this does not mean you will not regret your decision ever. You will get feel uncertain and unhappy, but now, since you have taken these decisions and decided to pay the cost happily and courageously, you will have to remind yourself and pull yourself out of that rut. You must train yourself to pay your cost courageously and make your decision right again, and again, and again. As long as you keep paying the cost happily and courageously, your decision will remain right and the day you regret it, your decision will become wrong and it will start troubling you. I will give you another example. My wife Indu, when she started her career in IT, had offers from two organisations. She contacted her mentor to help her decide, as she was not able to choose between these offers. One organisation was very reputed and was paying her a very high salary, but there was very little scope of learning and growth. Whereas the other organisation had excellent projects, very high learning opportunities, but the pay was very low and there was a lot of work. Her mentor knew both organisations very well. He showed Indu the cost of joining both and told her to take her decision based on the cost. He also told her that once she decided, she should not switch the job for at least 2-3 years and work sincerely and happily. He also suggested that even if she had to pay the cost of making less money right at the start of her career, that would be fine. But, he told her to ensure that she took up a job that would teach her a lot, so that she becomes an expert and gets paid well in the long run for her expertise.

She took that advice very well. She joined the organisation that gave her a lot of work and less pay, but she worked with them for 2.5 years. She was sure about paying the cost of a low salary and dealing with a heavy workload, while she learned valuable things and became an expert in her job. All her friends used to tell her that she had taken the wrong decision, but she did not think so. She knew that all the hard work and learning would pay her in the long run, because she was gaining a very good experience. She happily paid the cost of working hard for a small salary, and made her decision completely right. She had a very tough boss there, she worked for more than 12 hours a day. She had to listen to her seniors scold her very often. And yet today, she is very proud that she chose to join that organisation. She still thinks that that was one of the best decisions she has taken in her life, as she learnt the most in that organisation. Those lessons helped her get an excellent job in a multinational organisation. That learning helped her a lot as she progressed rapidly in her new organisation due to her expertise. Today, Indu has grown much faster in her career than most people do. This is the result of making the right decisions at the right time, while keeping the cost in mind and not just the short-term benefits. Tina: I get it, we will all pay the cost happily and courageously, if we ever see each other regretting their decision, then we will help them remember the original intention and make their decisions right again. Mitesh: Have you all realised why Tina chose to continue in her current relationship? Tony: She loves her family. Mitesh: Maybe, but her choice is completely based on her values, her highest value is security hence she chose to continue in this relationship. By being aligned with her current values it would be much more easier and pleasant to prioritise her husband now. Tony: I get it now, my highest value is family and hence I have decided to continue with my job as I have no experience of business. I have a family to feed and I do not have enough funds to start the business. I will not be able to pay the cost of starting

the business as my family will have to suffer because of me. I am not ready to see that. I am happy to pay the cost of staying in my current job and be happy. Mitesh: Excellent, I am very proud of all of you. You did not choose the easier options, you made the choices based on your cost and values. John, I have a question for you. You decided to take a risk and get into the stock market again, whereas Tony has decided not to take the risk of getting into business. Dont you think he is losing out on an opportunity and he should take a chance to live his dreams? John: From my point of view, yes, I think he should take a chance! Mitesh: Well thats because you clearly value Risk taking in life whereas Tony values Family more than taking the risk to grow. So then who is wrong here? You, or Tony? John: Actually, nobody is wrong here. It is just that we are two different people with different values. We have chosen our cost respectively, and made our individual decisions right. Mitesh: Absolutely right, John. I am happy that you are able to respect Tonys decisions, based on respecting the difference in your values. We must all make sure that we do not make someone elses decisions wrong just because their values are different from ours. If you respect their values it will be easier to understand why they chose to make that decision. This will prevent you from having unnecessary conflicts with people, in fact it will also help you be in harmony with other peoples decisions, even though you may not agree with them. Great, you all clearly look happy as you all have made your choices. Tony: I am little worried now. Mitesh: Why? What happened? Tony: From tomorrow we will have nothing to talk, because for many weeks, we have been just discussing the pending decisions in our life and nothing else!

Mitesh: Well, now you can tell each other how you all have resolved your decisions by applying this technology and making all your decisions right. John: Mitesh, what about our past wrong decisions? Mitesh: Yes, we are about to learn about that, but lets take a small break.

CORRECTING WRONG DECISIONS

Mitesh: I am sure we all have made some decisions in the past that you think were wrong and still regret. In fact, you might be suffering just by thinking about those decisions. Today, will be the last day of that

Running away from the cost by changing the decision, can be an attitude problem.

agony. Lets work on those past decisions that you think are wrong. Raj: But, how? Mitesh: You either need to change those decisions or make them right forever. I will give you a few examples, which will help you understand this. Have you ever seen people who join an organisation with a lot of enthusiasm and soon they start criticising everything about it? Tony: Yes, I know many such people, but I know one person in particular who keeps cribbing about his workplace every day. He will not see anything positive about his employer, he complains about the quality of the work, his manager, his salary, and even the food in the cafeteria. He complains a lot, but he is never ready to change his job. Mitesh: Perfect example Tony. In this example, this friend had taken the decision to work with a particular company, but now he is not paying the cost happily. Tony: He feels he has made a mistake by joining this organisation. If he wants to make his decision right, what should he do? Mitesh: He needs to either change his decision or make his current decision right. Tony: How? Mitesh: To make his decision right, he needs to look at all the costs of joining this organisation and start paying it happily and courageously. That would automatically make him stop cribbing about the food, his manager, his work, and salary.

He could also take some more actions to make things right in all these areas, however he should be doing that courageously, not by regretting everything and cribbing. Tony: Or, he can change his decision by leaving this organisation and joining somewhere new. Mitesh: Correct, Tony. He can change his past decision by changing his current organisation. However, remember that running away from the cost by changing the decision can be an attitude problem. This way you can look at all your past decisions and either change those decisions or make them right by paying the cost happily and courageously. If your friend starts paying the cost courageously based on his values, his decision of joining the company will become right. Tony: Yes Mitesh, I understand now. Even I can stop regretting all my past decisions now. I have the knowledge and wisdom on how to pay the cost courageously and happily. Mitesh: Excellent! This gets to the end of our conversation. I hope you will use The Power of Making Decisions Right well, and I am sure have fulfilled all the promises I made to you in the beginning of this book. In case you have any doubts in future please feel free to contact me. Everyone thanked Mitesh for his patience and his ability to teach them this vital life skill.

SUMMARY
Lets summarise what we have learnt so far, No decision is universally right or wrong Every decision has a cost, whether we like it or not The cost of the decision is a reality, not an option Cost should be chosen independently, not with anybodys help Before choosing the cost, it is very important to identify your values Values plays a big role while choosing the cost The cost should be paid happily As long as you pay the cost happily and courageously, your decision will be right, the day you start regretting it, your decision will be wrong. The steps for making the right decision, Identify the confusion or pending decision clearly Write down all available options Write down all predictable costs attached to each available option. Analyse the cost in detail so that you predict maximum cost Based on your values, choose the cost of your choice Please do not take help from others when you choose the cost, you might ask for help while identifying the cost, but the choice of the cost should be made only by you Once the cost is chosen, the decision is made, start paying the cost happily

Remember the cost you analysed is the predictable cost. While you are living your decision, you will find some surprises, i.e. unpredictable cost. Be willing to pay that too, happily and courageously. As long as you are paying your cost happily and courageously, the decision you take will remain right. The day you start regretting the cost, your decision will be wrong. In case you start regretting, remember to take corrective action by taking another decision or stop regretting and start paying your cost happily again.

Diagrammatic representation of the technique is provided for your quick reference.

Write the problem situation

Evaluate all possible options

Evaluate and write cost for each available option Choose the cost as per your value system As long as you pay your chosen cost happily your decision will remain right Derive your values

PITFALLS
There are some pitfalls which you should be aware of before, and while, taking any major or important decision of your life.

There is no decision that has no cost attached to it

Whenever you are taking an important decision, you should never take it without writing it on paper. Our mind has the ability to exaggerate anything we favour. As part of our cost analysis, we should always write all costs, pros and cons of each option, and then take the right decision. This will help you think rationally, and not emotionally. We always try to look for an option where there is no cost, but in this world there is no decision that has no cost attached to it. We feel that the cost is a choice and we try to ignore it. Remember, cost is not a choice, it is the reality. If the decision has an impact on others, such as your friends or family, please do remember to alert them of your decision, so that they are aware of the costs they will have to pay. Always choose the cost yourself, please do not take help from others, because you prioritise your values differently. The cost has to be chosen by you, and not by others.

WORKBOOK
In this workbook you can apply the decision making technique to one of your pending decisions. I wish to decide about: My costs for each option are (you may add columns if available options are more than 3): My values are: My decision: You can benefit a lot of trying to solve these practice problems. The more options you imagine and the more costs you can analyse, the sharper your decision-making reflexes will be! 1) Vijaya Nair has been a school teacher for 15 years. She has also been giving private tuitions to children in her housing society. Recently, a government order has been brought into effect which essentially makes it impossible for her to continue giving private lessons. Vijaya needs the money, and all her other colleagues are continuing to ignore the rule. If she is caught, she might be suspended or have to pay a fine. Her children say that if she is suspended, she can continue giving classes and earn more money. This is an ethical and financial dilemma for her. Options Possible Cost Values

What are her Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options?

What cost would she choose? How can she make a decision right? 2) Ashley is a lady who had a love marriage and yet now she has a very poor relationship with her husband. He abuses her verbally and physically and humiliates her in front of his family many times. Now she has come back to her parents after a big fight and is confused whether she should file for a divorce or whether she should give it one more try! Options Possible Cost Values

What are her Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would she choose? 3) Sampat is a fairly intelligent stock broker and yet made a decision where he lost some money. Whenever he looks back at his decision he regrets and feels bad due to which he is not able to concentrate on his new deals. What should he do to be productive again? Options Possible Cost Values

What are his Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would he choose? 4) Sumis parents settled down in London when Sumi was a baby. Although she is a bright student and has a brilliant career as a journalist ahead of her, she has left it all to come back to India, to get back to her roots. Her last year of graduation is in jeopardy. Her father has invested a lot in her education and feels she is making a big mistake. Sumi wants to be close to the rest of her extended family. Options Possible Cost Values

What are her Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would she choose? 5) Hiren is a very good freelance photographer but he does not earn a lot of money. He is unable to approach new clients for work.

He has the chance to visit an international seminar where he will make a lot of contacts. Even if he gets over his fear of meeting new people, he still has to save up enough money (Rs. 2.5 lakh) to go there and put up a display stall with his best photos. He is wondering if he should go, or just continue in his mediocre career.

Options

Possible Cost

Values

What are his Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would he choose? 6) Deepak has returned to India after five years. He is on his way to meet his parents, when a former colleague and now a major venture capitalist who is very busy, invites him for lunch to discuss a possible financially massive alliance together. Deepak will have to miss the lunch his family has prepared for him and doesn't want to cause hurt, nor miss this lunch. Options Possible Cost Values

What are his Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would she choose? 7) Diya knows that her client is being overcharged by her employer. She knows the client personally and knows his sad financial situation. She can save the client a lot of money by letting him know, but she risks her job. Should she do it?

Options

Possible Cost

Values

What are her Options? What is the possible cost for each of the options? What cost would she choose?

BACK COVER MATERIAL:

My most interesting experience while coaching people has been that when people completely understand the decision making process, they often choose the cost which may be the most difficult to pay. Any human being has the ability to pay any cost happily and make any decision right. For instance, soldiers are able to pay the cost of torture and even death for their decisions. I have learned that the human potential to pay any cost is unlimited and that there is no decision which is beyond our reach.

-Mitesh Khatri

Making the right decision. Surely, that is nothing less than the most important survival technique. For what is life, but the sum of all our decisions, all the choices we made, and continue to make. Mitesh Khatri, behavioral scientist and corporate trainer, shares with you a powerful technique. These pointers will go a long way in helping you resolve all those dilemmas you have been grappling with. The technique you will learn in this book will pay off as soon as you start applying them in everyday decisions and those choices that you made long ago and still regret.