VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIP: HOW IT WORKS IN REAL THE WORLD Bishnu Pada Roy University of Dhaka, Bangladesh

With the advancement and influence of internet, human life has emerged with a new look more complicated than and deviated from its previous state. Life is now dependent on the internet to a surprisingly great extent. People are living in the world which is controlled by the illusive power of the internet. Different types of websites determine the go of life. Some sites provides some advantages through which people get connected to one another in the internetbased world; social networking sites, blog sites, online video games arrange their contents in a manner that a new type of particular community grow out of the people using those sites or games; and gradually a new kind of relationship grow among people, which is nowadays regarded as virtual relationship. Virtual relationship which exists in the online virtual world is different from that of the real world, and despite some exceptions it does not work in the real world. Virtual relationship means the relationship which is virtually grown among the members of a virtual community, the universe of which is the internet. Arthur Dobrin, Professor of humanities, Hofstra University and leader emeritus Ethical Humanist Society of Long Island, New York, defines virtual relationship as a new kind of relationship, different than anything before, something less than what we call an acquaintance. To describe the relationship, he further says, No senses are used other than the sight of pixels on a screen. There is no touch, no smell, no sound of the human voice. Deborah Welicky of University of Hawaii defines, The relationships that lead to the development of virtual communities are virtual relationships. In virtual relationships, the relationship is formed in virtual reality. The relationship is generally cultivated through typed words on a screen, and is based on the content of the individual's words. He explains, The virtual in virtual relationships, means that the relationship lacks a connected state. By this I mean that virtual relationships lack a physical connection . . . . From these opinions, it is clear that virtual relationship lacks the use of direct touch, hearing, sight, or smell; though some sites provides the benefit of video calling nowadays, the criteria of orthodox virtual relationship do not include this. Online video calling expressing the sense of sight and hearing is considered to be the improved version of the telephone calling expressing the sense of hearing only. Though the terms virtual meaning being such in power, force, or effect, although not actually or expressly such, according to The America College Encyclopedic Dictionary (1952) and relationship meaning the quality or state of being related; connected, according to Webster's New World Dictionary of the American Language (1986) have been existing for long, the combined term virtual relationship originated after the invention of internet, i.e. the idea of virtual relationship emerged with the development of internet. In the late 80s and 90s of the previous century and very early of the present century some video games, for example, New Life, founded the root of this type of relationships. Later social networking sites like Facebook,

Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc. and different types of blogging sites take this issue and are running it in its full speed. Though people enter into the virtual world conceiving only its positive aspects, it does cover many aspects which are likely to be negative. Virtual relationship gives people opportunity to express him/her in a totally open manner, where no obstacle lies in front, because one can hide ones original identity and the person with whom the first is communicating is not visible. "It's like Shakespeare, all the world's a stage," said Edward Castronova, a professor of Telecommunications at Indiana University. "Things in the real world are not very good. The online world is this place where people can live out alternate lives and stories." There are many people who cannot express a single word in public, but in virtual world they can continue communicating with people over years. Virtual relationship sometimes provides the starting point of a real life relationship. Based on the virtual relationship, some are being married, or befriended, or the like, who were first acquainted in the virtual world, i. e. in Facebook, or Google+, or any blog site. In business related aspects, virtual world play a quite important role; it becomes the easiest way for companies to reach the customers to familiarize any product directly. It is easy to understand the interest and choice of a particular person from his/her profile information given in a particular website. Many companies and organizations give their advertisements in social networking sites, blogs, and thus persuade their desired customers about their products more effectively than any other means. Engaging in virtual relationship is an enjoyable pastime. Like any other pastime activities, one can easily spend his/her idle hours by chatting with a virtual friend, and thus enjoy his/her leisure time. However, virtual relationship has its drawbacks which seem to be very strong. The main problem with this relationship is the question of true identity. As there is no scope to verify the information, a person generally does not provide his/her original information. As a result, one is not sure with whom one is communicating, whether it is a man or woman. Taking the chance of invisibility a 45 year old man may claim himself to be a youth of 20, which may same in the case of a 45 year old woman. Adrian (2008) has referred to virtual worlds as domains of liquid identity because you never really know who the individual is and the virtual identities can be quickly self-defined rather than pre-ordained (Adrian, 2008, p. 367). Boon and Sinclair (2009) go on to say that, in regards to virtual worlds like Second Life, it is almost impossible to tell the real identity of a user. As it is shown that people generally provides a false, much different from their true, identity in virtual relationships, a single person bears two (or more, according to his/her number of virtual relation) identities simultaneously- one in his/her real world, his/her original identity and one in the virtual world, the disguised identity. To perform this dual identity the person must undergo some psychological conflict which often results in submerging the two identities into one. This destroys the persons original self.

In addition, though the element of anonymity within virtual relationships may provide individuals with a safe and private arena to explore their identity, however, anonymity also presents a problem for others who engage in virtual worlds, and that problem is trust. Because of anonymity and false identity, the fear of deception dominates the development of the relationship. Anonymity can leave one scratching ones head wondering how much, if any, of an individuals virtual identity, is really - real. One very worth-noting aspect of the virtual world is its addictive nature because of which a person becomes merely a slave of what is happening in his/her respective arena of this world. Very few people, especially the young generation who are the prime addicted group of virtual relationships, are able to handle the utilitarian use of their accounts in Facebook, Google+, or the like. Instead most of them become too much inclined with virtual activities that the situation turns to the waste of time, energy and integration of mind affecting their day to day real world activities, falling a negative impact on their success in real life. The advantages and drawbacks of virtual relationship reveal a contrast between the world and virtual world. What seem to be the positive sides of virtual relationship or virtual world are actually not so if observed carefully and examined in the real world. As it is said that people can express themselves in virtual worlds without any hesitation or obstacles, but it is equally true that within the comfort zone on virtual relationships, people can easily become uncomfortable in real life relationships. Someone that types a million words online communicating with another can be the same person who has difficulty expressing them-selves in real life. The virtual is the fantasy world of its users, which has no existence in the real world. To consider the state of interpersonal communication, virtual relationship does not cover the sense of hearing, sight, and touch of the real world. So it is clear that communication in the virtual world is not complete. According to Robert Wright, virtual world brings no visual (much less tactile) contact, and so doesn't fully gratify the social machinery in our minds. It is true that in some cases virtual relationship starts a real life relationship like marriage. The statement is true up to marriage, though in some cases, but what happens after marriage is not often happy this type of marriage often ends with volatile breaking up. The business success of the sites in which virtual relationships grow is really worthnoting. But in proportion with the dual identity and false information, the advertisers may be deceived, and thus their mission of advertising may fail. Thus, virtual relationship works only in the virtual world; it has little to do in the real world. Actually virtual world is the world which is the aggregation of disguised identities totally contrasting real identities. People enter into the virtual world out of hallucination, remain there sometime as actors, grow a fantasy in their imagination, and finally come back to real world by falling in the identity crisis, though some exception may be found.