Task 1

Percentage of consumer goods in UK homes
The conclusion a summary of the essay and an answer to the question

In many ways, the conclusion is the easiest part of the essay to write. This is because it simply summarises the rest of the essay you dont need to create any new ideas/words to write it. This lesson suggests a strategy for writing exam essay conclusions. It is to read the essay before you write the conclusion. If that seems too time-consuming, let me briefly explain why I think its a good idea. 1. its easier to write the conclusion quickly you only need to restate what you have just read- it gives you both words and ideas 2. if your conclusion doesnt match the rest of your essay, you will lose on both Task Response and Coherence. It can be easy to change your ideas as you write an essay with the result that your conclusion says something different than the rest of the essay
Two questions to ask before you write a conclusion

Below I suggest things to look for in your essay, before you write the conclusion. The ideas are simple and the process wont take long at all. If that seems too much, try simply asking yourself these two questions: 1. What is my answer? (for that you need to look at the question!) 2. Why do I say that? (for that you could look at your topic sentences) Unless you focus on these two points, your essay conclusion could become incoherent.
The table shows the percentage of household consumer durables sold in the UK from 1972 to 1983. It can be divided into three groups. Firstly, a number of appliances were in a high percentage of homes for the entire period. These included TVs, vacuum cleaners, refrigerators and washing machines. TV ownership was the highest, growing from 93% to 98% over the eleven-year period, while washing machine ownership, the lowest of this group, increased from 66% to 80%. The second group included central heating and the telephone and these showed the most dramatic rise with increases of 27% for central heating and 35% for telephones. At the beginning of the period these appliances had been present in 37% and 42% of homes respectively. The final group shows appliances that were only introduced onto the market during the period shown. The video recorder was quickly accepted into households, achieving 18% ownership by 1983. The dishwasher had less impact, with its ownership slowly rising from 3% to 5% between 1978 and 1983. In all it shows that British households enjoyed an ever-increasing ownership of consumer durables from 1972 to 1983.
T he positive and the negative sides of globalization


Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss. In the present age, globalization is playing increasingly important role in our lives. But in the meantime whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked much debate. Some people argue the globalization has fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives while many others contend that it has detrimental effect as well. Convincing argument can be made that globalization not only plays a pivotal role in the development of technology and economy, but also promotes the exchange of cultures between different countries. To start with, it is the globalization that impelled many corporations to become an international group, thereby making contribution to local technology and employment. Specifically, when a multinational group establishes a factory in a developing country, the new equipment, the new management skill and the job vacancies


are all in the best interest of local society. Moreover, people worldwide can know each other better through globalization. Admittedly, profit driven globalization severely affected the young people. Today, in the metropolises in different countries, it is very common sight that teenagers are wearing NIKE T- shirt and Adidas footwear, playing Hi-pop music with Apple I pod and having KFC. The culture that took thousand years to form is just seems similar in these cities; it is looks like you can only distinguish them by their language. Meanwhile, in some developing countries, sweat workshop is always the issue that concerned by WHOM. For instance, some report shows that some teenagers who employed by Nike's contractor always stay in the factory that is fulfilled by smell over 14 hours a day, but they only work for fifty cents per hour. In summary, I would concede that globalization do come with some adverse effects. Despite that the benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I convinced that we should further promote globalization and


meanwhile the local government should take some measures to combat culture assimilation and sweat workshop. This essay is extremely long (338 words instead of the advised 250-265). It has a sound structure, your position is clearly expressed, the information is wellorganized, and structure- wise the sentences are fine. The vocabulary is impressive and there only were a few grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, looks like a band 7.5 + essay. C hildren and rules In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? The extent to which children have to follow rules is in itself a very complex issue, since children across the world grow up in very different cultures. In India for example, the level of morality is very high and children are to be


very submissive to their parents as well as other adults around them. This, however, is not the case for the Western countries of the world where children follow the motto "Thou shalt do what thou wilt" as promoted by celebrities and rock stars. I believe that following strict rules has both advantages as well as serious drawbacks as discussed below. Firstly, strict rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into respectful adults. This forms a stable society which is virtually free from vices such as prostitution and drug abuse. Secondly, if children do not follow strict rules of behavior, they will get out of hand and become work- shy and indolent. This will then create a burden on society since the government has to find ways to cater for these social ills. However, forcing children to follow strict rules of behavior doesn't always yield positive results as discussed above, most of the time it backfires and works against society. For example, teenagers are more likely to do the opposite of what they're told to do simply because they want to be


independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their freewill and develop their own pattern of behaviors. Strict rules simply destroy the individuality of children if they're imposed on them. At the end of the day, it is clear that children should be guided by rules, but these rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to develop their own traits of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own. This essay is too long (309 words instead of advised 250-265). Otherwise this work is a very good one; it covers the task, your position is clear, the ideas are well-organized, expressed, explained and supported. The sentences show a wide range of language structures, cohesive devices and the grammar is fine. Overall, looks like a band 7.5 or higher essay. The advantages and disadvantages of globalization


Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss. Globalization is such a commonly used term in the twenty first century. It simply means that the world has become integrated economically, socially, politically and culturally through the advances of technology, transportation and communication. It is undeniable to say that globalization has resulted in both positive and negative effects which must be addressed accordingly. To begin with, globalization has contributed to the world's economies in many beneficial ways. The advances in science and technology have allowed businesses to easily cross over territorial boundary lines. Consequently, companies tend to become more productive, competitive thereby raising quality of goods, services and the world's living standard. Secondly, several companies from the more developed countries have already ventured to establish foreign operations or branches to take advantage of the low cost of labor in the poorer countries. This kind of business activity will


provide more influx of cash or investment funds into the less developed countries. However, one cannot deny the negative effects which were derived from globalization. One crucial social aspect is the risk and danger of epidemic diseases which can easily be spread as the mode transportation is easier and faster in today's advance society. This is evidenced in the recent bird's flu disease which has infected most Asian countries over a short time frame. As large corporations invest or take over many off shore businesses, a modern form of colonization will also evolve which may pose certain power pressure on the local governments of the less developed countries. Unemployment rates in the more developed regions like Europe may also escalate as corporations choose to outsource cheaper work force from Asian countries. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we must urge individuals, companies and governments to use a more balanced approach by taking appropriate steps to deal with matters relating to the


financial or economical gains verses the social, political or ecological concerns of the world. This essay is too long, 318 words instead of 250-265. Otherwise (except for some minor grammatical errors) it is a very nice work. It covers the task, has the right structure, the paragraphs are coherent and logically connected by elegantly used linking words, the structure of sentences is fine and so is your vocabulary. Looks like a Band 7.5 or higher essay. Financial education Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? It is an obvious fact that financial aspects are a major part of daily life, as an adult and even as a young individual. Each and every one of us has to make financial decisions concerning recreation, health, education and more. The


question is whether to start with financial education as part of school program or postpone it for a later stage in life. To being with, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works and interpret financial news and its implications is a virtue. Without this virtue, an individual, and even a young one, might suffer, to some extent. For example, a child who doesnt understand the concept of money might find it more difficult to accept choosing only one present out of more possible ones. In addition, many adults are lacking financial analysis capabilities. Quite often, the reason can be a shaky basis or insecurity when it comes to financial terms and concepts. Starting from an early age, building a strong background, can very likely prevent such a situation. However, financial education necessarily involves quantifying and setting prices and value for services and goods. It can be easily turn young people into cynical and coldhearted human beings. Furthermore, a tendency to self-


concentration and egoism might rise when one starts measuring everything from a profit making perspective. In conclusion, financial education has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages are stronger than the disadvantages, making financial education an advisable component of school program. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that young people have to pay due to the characteristics of the world that we live in. This is a wonderful essay. It covers the task, is correctly structured, the paragraphs are logically connected, the structure of sentences shows excellent command of English. The vocabulary is fine and both spelling and grammar are very good. See comments underlined in blue for some minor corrections. Overall, looks like a Band 7.5 8 essay. As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.


There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people?s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the classroom. Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some students to progress in their studies quicker than when compared with an original classroom. For example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others? incapacity of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of learning from teachers.


However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences them in positive ways. Firstly, students realize that they are not dealing with a machine but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in group and respect other students, which helps them to improve their social skills. Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some student's deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a bigger chance not to fail in a subject. In conclusion, the role for teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences. This is a great essay. Looks like Band 8 to me. No improvements are necessary, Keep up the good job!


Rich countries should help the poor Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. Todays world has been divided into developing and industrialized countries where the main difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply in important sectors such as education, health and commerce. Most of the poorer nations are buried in debts as a result of their unbalanced finances which are reflected in a poor health care, an unstructured education system and a weak international trade. This vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier nations show interest in minimizing the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility for assisting unfortunate countries.


Most of the African countries live in inhuman conditions because of the extreme poverty, upheaval, hunger, disease, unemployment, lack of education and both inexperienced and corrupt administrations. The devastating consequences of the AIDS epidemic in those countries could improve if the infected populations receive free drugs to control the disease, have access to health professionals and get information on how to prevent its spread. But this can only be achieved through international help programs in which leaders of the world's richest countries donate medicine and also send doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need. Moreover, most of the poor countries rely on selling agricultural products and raw material to rich nations and buying industrialized products from them which results in a huge financial deficit. Consequently, they borrow a significant amount of money from the World Bank to try to improve their broken economies, but sometimes the money disappears with no significant changes and they cannot even pay the interest to the bank. Regarding this


issue, last year the G8, which is comprised of leaders of the eight richest nations, decided to forgive billions of dollars worth of debt owed by the world's poorest nations. In addition, they developed adequate loan programs to financially assist those countries. In conclusion, leaders of the industrialized countries play an indispensable role in assisting developing nations deal with essential areas such as health, education and trade. Also, their aid is the key to breaking the vicious cycle, which results in poverty and death. This is an amazing essay, looks like Band 8 to me, nothing to improve here. Events bringing people together Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.


Every four years, the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics and the Football World Cup in which athletes show their best performance to make their country proud of them. These sporting occasions have proved to be helpful in easing international tensions in difficult times when powerful leaders were trying to control the world's economy and other governments were fighting over land. The Olympic Games are one of the best examples which prove how sporting events can bring nations together, at least temporarily. From ancient History, when Greeks and Romans would interrupt battles to participate in the games, to the more recent international disputes, when athletes from Palestine and Israel would forget their differences, compete pacifically and even embrace each other after an event. Moreover, these popular events have called the world's attention to the terrible consequences of wars; thus some leaders have tried to accept agreements to end their dispute and live peacefully.


Similarly, international sporting events show benefits in some developing countries which live in a daily internal civil war. For example, Brazil has a high rate of unemployment, lack of education, hunger, crime, poverty and corruption which leads to an immense embarrassment of being Brazilian and a low self-esteem. However, when the Football World Cup starts, the Brazilian squad, which is considered the best team in the world, provokes an amazing feeling of pride in their country. Most people seem to forget all their problems and even the criminal activity decreases. They paint roads with the national colors, use wear the Brazilian team shirt and buy national flags. Moreover, the competition brings families and neighbors together and even rival gangs watch the games and celebrate peacefully. In conclusion, popular sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions and liberating patriotic feelings as History has shown.


This is a great essay, the ideas, language, structure of paragraphs and sentences, grammar show high level of English. In my opinion it is Band 8. Keep up the good work. Computers instead of teachers As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. There is no doubt that education and the learning process has changed since the introduction of computers: The search for information has become easier and amusing, and connectivity has expedited the data availability. Though expert systems have made computers more intelligent, they have not yet become a substitute of the human interaction in the learning process. In my opinion; what can be expected, is a change of the teachers? role but not their disappearance from the classroom.


Nobody can argue that the acquisition of knowledge is more fun and easier with computers. The mere activity of touching and exploring this device constitutes an enjoyable task for a kid. This, accompanied with the relaxing attitude and software interactivity, usually conduce to a better grasping of new knowledge. At a higher educational level; the availability of digital books, simulator and other academic materials, provide the student with an ever accessible source of information, that otherwise would not be at hand. But, besides the increasing complexity and behavior of intelligent software, which is usually embedded in the academic digital material, the need of human interaction in the learning process will always be present, at least in the foreseeable future. There is the necessity for a human being to be able to determine what the specific needs of each individual are. The expertise of a teacher in how to explain and adapt complex concepts to different individuals can hardly be mimicked by a computer, no matter how sophisticated its software is.


As computers are becoming a common tool for teaching, teachers should be more aware of their role as guides in the acquisition of knowledge rather than transmitters of facts. They have to be open minded to the changes that are taking place, keep updated and serve as a problem solvers in the learning process, thus allowing students to discover the facts for themselves. To summarize, in my personal view, teachers play and will play an important role in the classroom, especially at the primary level. No matter how complex computers become, there will be no replacement for the human interaction, but in the way this interaction takes place. Excellent essay! Are you a native English speaker? Well done. The only problem: too long, 365 words instead of 250-265 maximum.
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Band score 8.0 range of vocabulary

This is the next in my series of lessons in how to achieve a high band score in IELTS essays. This time the focus is on vocabulary. There is no magic bullet here vocabulary learning takes time. Thats the bad news. What I do do though is to talk you through some of the more common problems with vocabulary in essays and give you some tips on avoiding them. Youll also find a bonus essay to download.


A sample essay weak vocabulary

Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak on vocab. Can you see what the problems are?
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want. The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports. The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government


cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping. My personal view is that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children.
Seeing the problems repetition

One of the most common problems is you can get stuck on certain words. This frequently happens with words in the question itself. To some extent this is unavoidable and you will see my improved version retains quite a lot of repetition there is simply less of it.


See the repetition corrected Tip think of vocabulary before you start writing
The idea is quite simple. If you think of the words you want to use before you write, then you can use them. On the other hand, if you start writing too quickly, then it becomes much harder to try and vary your vocab.
Tip repetition should be on everyones editing checklist

One of my top tips is that everyone should have a mental checklist of the type of errors they look for when they check their work Im going to look for any mistake doesnt really work. The point here is that even the best writers can subconsciously get stuck on words and keep on repeating them if they are not careful.
Tip if you cant find another word, repeat it in a different form

Sometimes there is only one correct word. In this case, the best advice is not to find another word that may well be wrong, but to change the word slightly. This can mean using the noun


form and not the verb form (ban becomes impose a ban on) or to qualify it with another word so ban becomes ban entirely.
Seeing the problems avoid language that is too simple

In general, I am a fan of the simple. There are times, however, when you want to upgrade your English, in particular avoiding words like big that are not normally used in more formal written English avoiding words like do unless they are part of a set phrase there is almost always a better variation finding variations for words such as very to show your range thinking about collocations (phrases)
Close Me
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of this people want the government to ban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.


We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedom to participate in whatever sports they choose. The biggest reason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly hurt. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports. The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.


The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping. The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping. My personal view is that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children who cannot make their own decisions.


My personal view is that while the government and other authorities do need to regulate dangerous sports, it would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely. I would suggest that safeguards need to be established so that any risk is minimised. What these safeguards are will vary from sport to sport, but safety has to be paramount, especially where minors are involved.
Tip when you learn vocabulary, learn phrases and not just words
Part of solution to this problem is to learn phrases. For example, you are much more likely to be able to use participate, if you have first learnt the phrase participate in a sport.
Finding solutions think examples for precise language

This is one of my favourite suggestions. The idea is that if you learn to use examples well, you get to use language that is precise and sometimes relatively simple. Take a look at this revised versions of the examples. the revisions may seem quite small, but I get to use precise language a good thing.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so


and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping. The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.
Finding solutions be academic and use qualifying language

Part of the academic writing skill is learning to qualify what you say so that it is not too general. Take a look at these two examples of qualifying phrases I add in to the improved version. Again, the changes may seem small but taken together they can have a significant effect on your writing.


We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedom to participate in whatever sports they choose. The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
Finding solutions focus your vocabulary learning on academic vocabulary

This is in many ways the big one. Learning vocabulary takes time. One excellent way to do it is simply to read and listen as much as possible. You will absorb more new words that way than


by sitting down and studying any word list. However, there is a however. To get a high band score, you want to learn the right words to use in essays. This is where the academic word list comes to your help.
Academic vocabulary and IELTS

Certain words in English are simply more academic than others. This does not necessarily mean they are difficult words, it just means native speakers tend to use them more when they are writing more formally. They are in other words exactly the sort of words you want in IELTS. Take these examples from the improved essay: retain principal assume participate in


These are all excellent words to learn as they can be used in all sorts of different contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them and that is where my daily word exercises come in.
Exercise on the AWL words in the essay

To see my point, have a go at this exercise based on improved essay: AWL words in dangerous sports
Download the essay

Dangerous sports sample essay (2409)
Read more: Band score 8.0 range of vocabulary | Dominic Cole's IELTS Blog http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-writing/band-score-8-0-range-of-vocabulary/#ixzz21eKzMKUg Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives


Band score 8.0 writing better paragraphs

This is the next lesson in my series on how to achieve high band scores in IELTS writing. The focus this time is on writing better paragraphs and improving the coherence of your writing. This is a problem that is common at high levels where candidates have plenty of good language but sometimes dont use it very effectively. Sometimes it is easier to understand a problem by looking at something that is not quite right. So this time I look at ways of improving a sample of writing from a candidate who has consistently scored 6.5 in writing (4 times in a row I believe!), but who is certainly capable of scoring more highly. He has in fact already completed a masters such is the absurdity of the IELTS system. As a bonus, I also include a download of a sample essay on the theme of employment and promotion.


Coherence and cohesion distinguished

To understand the problem it is first necessary to understand a little of the difference between coherence and cohesion. Put simply, cohesion is the linking of your writing by using connecting words, while coherence is making sure your writing makes sense. The important point to note is that it is quite possible for a piece of writing to be cohesive but not very coherent.


The sample paragraph cohesion

In some ways, this is a very good paragraph. There is a good range of vocabulary, the grammar is fine and it has lots of good cohesion structures which I have highlighted in red. There is much to learn here: this/that/these/those are excellent cohesion structures as they link back to something that was already mentioned repeating certain words (performance companies) also helps cohesion as it helps the reader make connections between sentences
The principal reason why some people take this view is that most multi-national companies certainly implement some specific policies to select employees for promotion. This point, of course, could be demonstrated by individuals who worked in those companies. For example, when I was working in an American company in Shanghai, before each fiscal year, I usually discussed with my supervisor in order to draw up a formal agreement, which was called Performance and Development Review. By doing this, the job performance I did for several


months could be judged by my employer , which meant if it was a good outcome, I would be promoted immediately even though I was only a junior employee at that time.
Another version more coherent

So wheres the problem then? For me, the problem is that when I get to the end of the paragraph, I am not immediately clear what the main point being made was. This can perhaps be best shown by looking at my improved version of the same paragraph.
Despite these reasons, there is a strong argument in favour of also promoting staff because of their performance. This can be seen by how some multi-nationals use annual performance and development reviews when deciding on promotion. Under this system, a supervisor can set targets for an employee and if those targets are met, then the employee can be promoted, even if they are relatively junior. The benefit of this approach to promotion is that it encourages staff to work harder and rewards merit and not just long service.


Notes
1. Less can be more
My version is considerably shorter than the original even though it makes all the same points. Sometimes, it can help your writing become more coherent if you concentrate on using fewer words. Likewise, I am not afraid to keep my sentences relatively short. Again, it can be easier to transmit your ideas if your sentences do not become too complicated.
2. Identify the main idea of the paragraph put it in the first sentence
The first step is to identify what one point you want to make in the paragraph and to state it clearly in the first sentence. In this example, the main point is promoting staff because of their
performance. Part of the problem with the original version is that most multi-national companies certainly implement some specific policies to select employees for promotion is not
particularly clear. The idea of performance only occurs in the 4th/5th line.


3. Keep the first sentence short dont be afraid of keeping it simple

My version uses more simple vocabulary. I avoid words like specific. My goal is absolute clarity. All I want to do is show the reader what the idea of the paragraph is.
4. Think about how you use examples and reasons omit unnecessary details
Part of the problem with the original version is that the example is rather long and there is a danger that the main point is lost. Examples tend to be a good thing, but you need to think carefully how you use them. Do they illustrate the point you want to make. In the sample paragraph, there is so much detail (Shanghai) that the point of the example is rather lost.
5. Consider how you end your paragraph

One way that my paragraph is extremely coherent is that in my final sentence I come back to the main idea of the paragraph in a circular approach:
promoting staff because of their performance (first sentence)


this approach to promotion is that it encourages staff to work harder and rewards merit (last sentence)
Practice suggestion
Write paragraphs, not essays
One very simple suggestion is that you practise writing paragraphs and not just essays. It can be a problem if you only write essays, as it is harder to focus on one particular skill. As you write the paragraph, it helps to focus on: simple first sentences that identify the main point of the paragraph and relate to the question consider using a circular approach where you restate the main point in the final sentence leaving out details that are irrelevant remember cohesion too (that part of the sample was excellent)


Test your own writing: what was the essay question?

Another idea is to look at some of your old essays and read the first sentences of the main topic paragraphs. If you have written well, you should be able to predict the question of the essay from the first sentences of those paragraphs.
Download the sample essay

Employment and promotion - sample essay (3551)
Get more lessons
Read more: Band score 8.0 writing better paragraphasiest way to start your Task 1 essay is
by paraphrasing the question. Paraphrasing means writing something in a different way (using your own words). Here are some simple changes you can make:
graph = line graph


chart = bar chart diagram = figure shows = illustrates (or 'compares' if the graph is comparing) proportion = percentage information = data the number of = the figure for the proportion of = the figure for people in the USA = Americans from 1999 to 2009 = between 1999 and 2009 from 1999 to 2009 = over a period of 10 years how to produce = the process of producing in three countries = in the UK, France and Spain (i.e. name the countries)
Tip: "The figure for / figures for" is a great phrase that not many people use (e.g. the graph shows figures for unemployment in three countries).
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (17) Thursday, June 21, 2012


IELTS Writing Task 1: more than one chart
Many students are still worried about questions with more than one chart. Here are some tips:
1. If there are 2 charts, they often show different information. Don't worry about comparing them. Just do: introduction, overview, then one paragraph for each chart. 2. If the units are different (e.g. one chart shows 'millions' and the other shows 'percentages'), you can't usually compare them. 3. If the units are the same, you can probably compare the charts. 4. If there are 3 or 4 charts, you can usually compare them.
To see an essay about 2 different charts click here (Cambridge IELTS 6, p98). To see an essay about 4 related charts click here (Cambridge IELTS 7, p101).
IELTS Writing Task 1: why I'd start with task 1
Students often ask whether it's better to do task 1 or task 2 first.


In my opinion, it's best to start any exam with something quick and easy that gives you confidence. Hopefully you'll agree that the quickest and easiest part of the whole writing test is the introduction to task 1. You don't need to think too much about the introduction to task 1; simply rewrite the question statement by changing a few words. Click here to read one of my lessons about introductions, and then read this lesson about paraphrasing. If you practise these techniques, you'll start your IELTS writing test with confidence.
IELTS Writing Task 1: 'chart without years' essay
The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.


The bar chart compares the number of incidents and injuries for every 100 million passenger miles travelled on five different types of public transport in 2002.


It is clear that the most incidents and injuries took place on demand-response vehicles. By contrast, commuter rail services recorded by far the lowest figures. A total of 225 incidents and 173 injuries, per 100 million passenger miles travelled, took place on demand-response transport services. These figures were nearly three times as high as those for the second highest category, bus services. There were 76 incidents and 66 people were injured on buses. Rail services experienced fewer problems. The number of incidents on light rail trains equalled the figure recorded for buses, but there were significantly fewer injuries, at only 39. Heavy rail services saw lower numbers of such events than light rail services, but commuter rail passengers were even less likely to experience problems. In fact, only 20 incidents and 17 injuries occurred on commuter trains. (165 words, band 9) Note: Don't worry about the repetition of "incidents and injuries" in this essay. There are no perfect synonyms for these words, although I managed to use "problems" and "such events" later in the essay. The most important thing is to describe the data clearly and make some good comparisons.
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (27)


Thursday, May 31, 2012
IELTS Writing Task 1: bar chart without years
Last week we saw that there are two types of bar chart: 1. those that show changes over time 2. those that compare different items The important thing to remember about the second type is that you can't describe increases and decreases. Let's look at this type in more detail. The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.


Here's my advice for a 4-paragraph essay:

1. Introduction: Explain what the chart shows by paraphrasing the question.


2. Overview: Look for two main things - in this case, we could mention the highest item and the fact that there were more incidents than injuries for all five transport types. You don't need to mention any numbers at this point. 3. Details: I'd probably group together the two highest items (demand response and bus) in this paragraph. Remember that you can't talk about an increase or decrease; you can only compare the numbers. 4. Details: I'd group the three types of rail transport together for this paragraph. Write some nice comparison sentences!
Note: You don't need to know what 'demand-response' transport is (it's an American term which I've never used), but click here if you want to know.
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (32) Thursday, May 24, 2012
IELTS Writing Task 1: change or comparison?
While line graphs always show changes or trends (increase, decrease etc.), this is not always true for bar charts, pie charts and tables. Here is a bar chart that does show 'change':


And here is a bar chart that shows 'comparison' rather than change:


Can you see the difference? How will this difference affect what you write in your essay? I'll go into more detail about the two charts next week, but the important thing for now is to see the difference.


(Charts taken from US Department of Transportation website)
IELTS Writing Task 1: find the mistakes
Can you find the mistakes in the paragraph below? In 1980, the US produced 131 millions of tonnes of waste. Japan was in second place with 28 millions, while the figures for Poland, Portugal and Ireland were less than 5 millions. In 1990, the US was 151, and in 2000 it rose to 192 millions. Note: Some of the mistakes are not related to grammar.


IELTS Writing Task 1: verbs exercise
I've missed out the verbs in the following description. Choose them from the list to fill the gaps. For some of the gaps, more than one verb is possible. Missing words: risen, created, recorded, is, produced (x2), managed, given, had (x2), stood, were, increased The US, Japan and Korea ______ by far the most waste. In 1980, the US ______ 131 million tonnes of waste, while the figure for Japan ______ at 28 million tonnes. No figure


______ ______ for Korea in 1980, but in 1990, 31 million tonnes of waste ______ ______ in that country. By 2000, waste production in the USA ______ ______ to 192 million tonnes, while Japans figure ______ ______ to 53 million tonnes. However, Korea ______ to reduce its output to 19 million tonnes. Ireland, Poland and Portugal only ______ a total of around 30 million tonnes of waste between them, adding the figures for all three years together. Note: The above description is not a full essay.
IELTS Writing Task 1: 'waste' table
Last week we looked at the following question: The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries in three different years over a twenty-year period.


Here are my answers to last week's questions:

1. It's fine to repeat the word 'waste' because there isn't really an ideal synonym ('rubbish' and 'garbage' have a more limited meaning). However, we can vary our sentences by writing things like 'waste output', 'waste materials' or 'the waste that was produced'. 2. The most noticeable feature must be that the US produced by far the most waste in all 3 years. Use this idea in you 'overview' paragraph. 3. The general trend is that waste production rose in every country apart from Korea. This could be your second 'overview' idea.


4. I would write one main paragraph comparing the 3 countries with the highest figures (US, Japan, Korea), and a separate paragraph about Ireland, Poland and Portugal. Try to use some 'comparing' language when describing the countries (e.g. while, whereas, by contrast) and some 'trend' language when describing the years (e.g. increased, rose, fell).
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (17) Thursday, April 26, 2012
IELTS Writing Task 1: table about waste
A student sent me the following question from a recent IELTS test: The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries in three different years over a twenty-year period.


A few things to consider before you write your essay:

1. 2. 3. 4. Can you think of a few alternative ways to write "waste production"? What is the most noticeable feature of the table? Is there a general trend over the period of time shown? How can you separate the information into 2 groups (in order to write 2 paragraphs about specific details)?
I'll share my answers to these questions next week.


IELTS Writing Task 1: singular or plural?
Students often make simple mistakes with singular and plural forms, especially in Writing Task 1. The problem is that the words used on graphs, charts and tables are usually singular. So, the labels on a chart could be:

single parent graduate only child laptop computer
But when you write a sentence, you might need to use a plural:

The number of single parents increased. In 1999 nearly 55% of graduates were female. The UK has the highest number of only children. More laptop computers were sold in the UK than any other country.


Don't just copy the words from the graph or chart. Think first about how to use them correctly.
IELTS Writing Task 1: essay about 2 bar charts
Last week I suggested a way of writing introductions for 2 charts. Today I'm attaching a full sample essay for this type of question. Click the following link to open my essay: download bar charts essay
IELTS Writing Task 1: introduction for 2 charts
You might find it easier to introduce two different charts by writing two separate sentences. Here is an example question about a graph and bar chart: The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.


Here is my 2-sentence introduction: The graph shows numbers of visits to the UK and trips abroad by UK residents. The bar chart shows the five most popular destinations for UK travellers.
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (14) Thursday, March 29, 2012
IELTS Writing Task 1: analyse model essays
Maybe you read my line graph essay last week, but did you really study it? Here's some example analysis of last week's essay:

Structure - 4 paragraphs: introduction, overview, 2 specific details Paraphrasing - proportion of the population = percentage of people (find more examples) Overview - overall trend, then biggest change Selecting key information - first year (1940), middle years (1990, early 2000s), end of period (2030 to 2040) Comparing - in each country, most dramatic, and, compared to, by contrast, while, slightly lower, respectively (analyse my sentences to learn how to use these words correctly)


Verbs - compares, increases, is expected to see, were, rose, remained... (look carefully at the use of tenses)
It's possible to read model essays quickly and learn a little. It's also possible to spend a long time studying them carefully and learn a lot!
IELTS Writing Task 1: full essay
Here's my full essay for last week's line graph question: The line graph compares the percentage of people aged 65 or more in three countries over a period of 100 years. It is clear that the proportion of elderly people increases in each country between 1940 and 2040. Japan is expected to see the most dramatic changes in its elderly population. In 1940, around 9% of Americans were aged 65 or over, compared to about 7% of Swedish people and 5% of Japanese people. The proportions of elderly people in the USA and Sweden rose gradually over the next 50 years, reaching just under 15% in 1990. By contrast, the figures for Japan remained below 5% until the early 2000s.


Looking into the future, a sudden increase in the percentage of elderly people is predicted for Japan, with a jump of over 15% in just 10 years from 2030 to 2040. By 2040, it is thought that around 27% of the Japanese population will be 65 years old or more, while the figures for Sweden and the USA will be slightly lower, at about 25% and 23% respectively. (178 words, band 9)
IELTS Writing Task 1: graph showing future years
Several students have asked me about the following question from Cambridge IELTS book 5 (page 29). The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.


Here are the steps I would follow to write my essay:


1. Introduction: write one sentence to introduce what the graph shows. Just paraphrase the question statement (i.e. change a few words). 2. Summary: describe 2 main things e.g. the overall trend for all 3 countries, and the biggest change that you can see. 3. Details: compare all 3 countries in 1940, then in 1990. 4. Details: describe the dramatic increase predicted for Japan, and compare all 3 countries in 2040.
Note: Try writing some essay plans like the one above. Planning makes you think about selecting and organising, so it's a useful skill to practise (even if you don't do a plan in your exam).
IELTS Writing Task 1: 'process diagram' details
Here are my 'details' paragraphs to finish the essay I started last week:


Looking at the coffee production process in detail, coffee beans must first be picked in the fields. These beans are then dried, roasted, and cooled before being put in a grinding machine, which turns the beans into coffee granules. At the sixth stage in the process, the ground coffee is mixed with hot water, and the resulting mixture is strained. Next, the mixture is frozen and then passed once again through the grinder. After that, the ground, frozen liquid is dried in a vacuum so that the water evaporates, leaving the coffee granules. Finally, these granules are packed into coffee jars for delivery to shops. Did you notice the passives and sequencing phrases? - Passives: must be picked; are dried, roasted and cooled; is mixed... - Sequencing: then; and; at the sixth stage; next; after that; finally...
IELTS Writing Task 1: 'process' introduction and overview
Last week I gave some advice about how to write an overview (summary) for process diagram questions. Here's the question again:


The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.




(Click on picture to make it bigger. Source: 'Meanings into Words Upper-Intermediate')
Here's my introduction and overview: The picture illustrates the process of coffee manufacture and preparation for sale on the market. It is clear that there are 11 stages in the production of coffee. The process begins with the picking of coffee beans, and ends at the packing stage.
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (16) Thursday, February 23, 2012
IELTS Writing Task 1: process diagram summary
When describing a process diagram, most students have no problem describing the stages in the process step by step. However, not many students are able to write a good summary (or 'overview') of the process as a whole. Think about how you would summarise this process:




(Click on picture to make it bigger. Source: 'Meanings into Words Upper-Intermediate')
Here are my tips for summarising process diagrams: Write 2 sentences: - First say how many stages there are in the whole process. - Then say how/where the process begins and ends.
IELTS Writing Task 1: grammar mistakes
Can you find the mistakes in the following sentences?

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The first table shows us the rate of marriage and divorce between 1970 - 2000. While the divorce rate increased from 1 million to 1.5 million during the same period. As from 1990 to 2000 marriage rate has decreased relatively from 2.5 to 2 million. As shown in table 1 that the total number of marriages were high in 1970. Finally few people got divorced in 1970 than 2000.


IELTS Writing Task 1: avoiding common mistakes
Here's some advice to help you avoid common mistakes in IELTS writing task 1:
1. Don't copy the question for your introduction. You should paraphrase the question (i.e. rewrite it using some different words). 2. Don't forget to separate your paragraphs clearly. 3. Don't forget to write a good summary/overview of the information. A quick one-sentence conclusion is not good enough. I prefer to put the overview straight after the introduction, and I try to write 2 sentences describing the information in general. You won't get a high score if you don't write a good overview. 4. Don't describe items separately (e.g. 2 lines on a graph). You should always try to compare things if it is possible to do so. Instead of describing 2 lines separately, compare the 2 lines at key points. 5. Don't try to describe every number on a chart or graph (unless there are only a few numbers). A key skill in task 1 is being able to choose the key information and describe or compare it well. I usually mention around 6 or 7 numbers in my main paragraphs. 6. Don't spend longer than 20 minutes on task 1. Practise spending 5 minutes on each of your 4 paragraphs. Stop yourself after 20 minutes; remember that task 2 is worth more marks.


IELTS Writing Task 1: line graph exercise
The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.


The graph shows changes in the number of cars ______ household in Great Britain ______ a period of 36 years.


Overall, car ownership in Britain increased ______ 1971 and 2007. In particular, the number of households with two cars rose, while the number of households ______ a car fell. In 1971, ______ half of all British households did not have regular use of a car. Around 44% of households had one car, but only about 7% had two cars. It was uncommon for families to own three or more cars, ______ around 2% of households falling into this category. The one-car household was the most common type from the late 1970s ______, although there was little change in the ______ for this category. The biggest change was seen in the proportion of households without a car, which fell steadily over the 36year period ______ around 25% in 2007. In contrast, the proportion of two-car families rose steadily, reaching about 26% in 2007, and the proportion of households with more than two cars rose ______ around 5%. Fill the gaps in the essay with the following words: almost, to, figures, per, between, by, over, with, without, onwards
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (47) Thursday, January 26, 2012


IELTS Writing Task 1: you don't need a conclusion
You don't need to write a conclusion for IELTS writing task 1. You need to write an "overview" of the information. But why don't you need to write a conclusion? What's the difference between a conclusion and an overview? First, a conclusion is really a final judgement, decision or opinion. This is perfect for the task 2 essay, but task 1 asks you to write a description without analysis or opinions. On the other hand, an "overview" is a simple description of the main points. It is a summary of the information shown in the graph or chart. Second, a conclusion should be at the end of a piece of writing. An overview or general summary could go either at the end or near the beginning. Personally, I think it's a good idea to describe the main features of the graph or chart near the beginning of your essay. So, my suggested essay structure for task 1 looks like this:
1. Introduction: what does the chart show? 2. Overview / summary: what are the most noticeable features? 3. Specific details: try to write 2 paragraphs.


IELTS Writing Task 1: how to describe future years
Several people have asked me how to write about future years on a graph or chart. For example, what tense should you use if the graph shows the year 2025? Try this exercise: take a description of past years, and rewrite it with future years. Past: In 1999, the proportion of people using the Internet in the USA was about 20%. The figures for Canada and Mexico were lower, at about 10% and 5% respectively. In 2005, Internet usage in both the USA and Canada rose to around 70% of the population, while the figure for Mexico reached just over 25%. Future (I've changed the years and the verbs): In 2015, the proportion of people using the Internet in the USA is expected to beabout 20%. The figures for Canada and Mexico are likely to be lower, at about 10% and 5% respectively. In 2025, it is predicted that Internet usage in both the USA and Canada will rise to around 70% of the population, while the figure for Mexico should reach just over 25%.


IELTS Writing Task 1: comparing numbers
Fill the gaps in the following text using the words below it. If you find any of the gaps difficult, miss them and come back to them after doing the easier ones. Emigration from the UK The number of people leaving the UK for 12 months or more ______ ______ record ______ in 2008, ______ an estimated 427,000 people emigrating. This ______ ______ from 341,000 in 2007. There has been a large ______ ______ the number of people emigrating for work related reasons, particularly those with a definite job to go to. In 2008 an estimated 136,000 people emigrated from the UK to take up a definite job, ______ ______ 100,000 in 2007. - in - high - increase - up


- reached - with (x2) -a - compared - was

IELTS Writing Task 1: describing 2 charts
Here are some tips for writing about 2 charts, graphs or tables: 1. Introduction Write one sentence, but introduce each chart separately e.g. "The first bar chart shows..., and the second chart illustrates..." 2. Summary of main points Write 2 sentences. If the information in the charts is not connected, find one main point or general trend for each chart. If the charts are connected, try to make comparisons. 3. Main body paragraphs


If the 2 charts are completely different (e.g. a graph and a table), write a separate paragraph about each. If the charts are the same, and show the same information (e.g. 2 pie charts), don't describe them separately; the examiner will want to see comparisons. In this case, you could write one paragraph describing all of the information, but I still prefer to write 2 paragraphs because it makes the essay look more organised.
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (20) Thursday, December 29, 2011
IELTS Writing Task 1: accuracy
The gap-fill exercise below should test whether you can describe numbers accurately. I'll put the correct answers in the 'comments' area tomorrow. UK Household Expenditure in 2009 Household ______ ______ highest in the transport category, ______ 63 a week. This included 21.10 per week ______ purchase of vehicles, 31.80 on the operation of personal transport (such as petrol, diesel, repairs and servicing) and 10.50 on transport services such as rail, tube and bus fares.


Food and non-alcoholic drink purchases ______ 51 to weekly household expenditure 13.10 of which ______ ______ on meat and fish, 3.70 on fresh vegetables, and 3.00 on fresh fruit. Non-alcoholic drinks ______ ______ 4.00 ______ weekly expenditure, and 2.10 per week was spent on chocolate and confectionery. Fill the gaps with the following words: spent, spending, for, on, at, of, accounted, contributed, was (x2)
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (31) Thursday, December 22, 2011
IELTS Writing Task 1: 'table' essay
Here's my band 9 essay following the steps in last week's lesson: The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002


The table shows percentages of consumer expenditure for three categories of products and services in five countries in 2002. It is clear that the largest proportion of consumer spending in each country went on food, drinks and tobacco. On the other hand, the leisure/education category has the lowest percentages in the table.


Out of the five countries, consumer spending on food, drinks and tobacco was noticeably higher in Turkey, at 32.14%, and Ireland, at nearly 29%. The proportion of spending on leisure and education was also highest in Turkey, at 4.35%, while expenditure on clothing and footwear was significantly higher in Italy, at 9%, than in any of the other countries. It can be seen that Sweden had the lowest percentages of national consumer expenditure for food/drinks/tobacco and for clothing/footwear, at nearly 16% and just over 5% respectively. Spain had slightly higher figures for these categories, but the lowest figure for leisure/education, at only 1.98%. Note: - Which information did I choose to include in my 'summary' paragraph? - Why did I use past and present tenses in paragraph 2? - How did I group the information for paragraphs 3 and 4?
Posted by Simon in IELTS Writing Task 1 | Permalink | Comments (33)
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The content paragraphs some checklists for before you write

The main body of your essay is the most important part and requires the most thought. In this lesson I give you some checklists of things to think about as you write, or before you write, the main paras. It is good to focus on what you are trying to do before you write,but there is a danger that you will confuse yourself if you try and think of too many things. If so, remember just this: your writing score is 25% Task response 25% Coherence and Cohesion 25% Vocabulary 25% Grammar If you are well prepared, then that may be enough information. I would emphasise, however, that it still pays to stop before you write each paragraph and ask yourself how you


will answer the task, be coherent and cohesive, use a range of vocab and write accurately. You might even do this before each sentence!
Coherence linking your thoughts

Coherence is how well your ideas link together and is the skill of making sense it is something you should focus on as you write. In essays, it works at two levels and as you write you need to think about both of these: 1. Do the paragraphs link together so that my essay makes sense.? This is a question of essay structure. 2. Do the sentences in the paragraphs link together so that the paragraphs make sense? This is a question of paragraph structure.
Essay structure is coherence decide on the role of paragraphs

Nearly all IELTS essays follow a simple structure. There are either going to be 4 or 5 paragraphs in all with 2 or 3 body paragraphs. These paragraphs will generally do one of 3 things: support each other by making the same point in a different way, say something that takes the opposite


point of view or make a separate point altogether. This means that in the exam you have to answer 2 questions: 1. How many paragraphs am I going to write? 2. Will those paragraphs support each other, take opposite views or make separate points My best suggestion when you think about the essay structure is that you dont worry about the type of essay you are writing: Opinion/Argument etc. You just answer those 2 questions. This is a simpler approach and there is always more than one way to answer a question. All you need to worry about is whether your approach is logical and answers the question in front of you.
Essay structure is topic sentences too - identify the main points in your first/topic sentences
If you have planned well, you should already know your essay structure particularly if you have drawn an essay map. All the same I do think it is wise to refocus on this as you begin each content paragraph. The goal is to make sure that what you are about to write does link back to the introduction. In practical terms, this means that you make sure that the first sentence in


each paragraph clearly states what that paragraph is about and that idea is found in the introduction these are the famous topic sentences. Top tip: Keep your topic sentences simple and to the point.Their function is not to say anything clever,just to say where you are in your argument.
Example
Sometimes it is easier to see the problem when something goes wrong. Try this.
Close Me
This is a slightly amended version of an essay sent to me that was marked down for Task Response/Essay coherence. If you look at just the topic sentences of the two content paras and the conclusion, you should see the problem. The language is okay, the ideas are okay- the ideas dont fit together.
Intro


Every school around the world has a number of problems, one of which is these children causing noise and disorder in classrooms. Consequently, schools see that putting them together in private class rooms will be far much better for both students and staff Content 1 There is a little evidence that putting all noisy students in special classrooms is the answer_________ Content 2 On the other hand, we must acknowledge that some students are intolerable and are mainly responsible for the noise for the duration of classes._________________ Conclusion To conclude, I am convinced that students who step out of line have to be taught together, because many problem children go to school to kill time not to study; therefore, grouping them together is simply the solution.


Notes
This essay was marked down on Task Response/Coherence. The problem is highlighted in red. The first/topic sentence in the first content para does not fit the argument of the essay summarised in the conclusion. It is incoherent to argue that problem students should be taught together and say there is no proof that this will work.
Paragraph structure is coherence

You also need to focus on making sure your paragraphs make sense. Again,this is where a good plan really can help. In practical terms, my suggestion here is that before you write each paragraph you should know how that paragraph finishes. If you write dynamically and simply keep on adding ideas, then there is every chance the ideas may not work together no matter how good they are. Here is a quick checklist for you to look at before you write: 1. Do I know the one main idea of the paragraph? 2. Do I know the structure of the paragraph?Am I going to list or explain one point more fully? 3. Am I clear about what is the main idea,what is a supporting reason and what is an example?


4. Do the reasons and examples support the main idea?
Cohesion linking your words

This is the twin of coherence it is linking as well, but this time linking words rather than ideas. You will probably learn most about the skills of cohesion before the exam. That does not mean that you should forget it in the exam itself. Here are 2 practical things to think about that may help you write better: 1. consider beginning each sentence with a linking idea this need not be a word like Furthermore,often a pronoun like Thisworks just as well 2. consider using synonyms and words of the same family to link your writing this is a very practical idea because it will also help your vocabulary
Grammar and Vocabulary

Oh yes, these matter too! You should of course make sure that you make as few mistakes as possible. It can though sometimes be a problem if you focus too hard on these as you write particularly at lower levels if you worry about these too much either the essay doesnt get finished or it isnt coherent . Here are a few thoughts for you that may be practical in the exam:


know how you will finish a sentence before you start it a lot of mistakes are caused by starting- stopping starting again. The first bit is ok. So is the second bit. They just dont work together.
good vocab tends to be precise vocab precise vocab tends to come from examples some of the best grammar you can use comes from qualifying your ideas (modals, relatives and if clauses)- so if you want to use better grammar think about not having too many general statements, but using one statement that you explain in different ways You might note that there is a strong connection between these ideas and coherence, which is part of the reason why I started this lesson talking about it. If you want to focus on just one thing as you write your content paras, for many people coherence may be the best answer
Read more: The content paragraphs some checklists for before you write | Dominic Cole's IELTS Blog http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-essays/the-content-paragraphs-some-checklists-for-before-youwrite/#ixzz226asbYgN






The question and the conclusion

There is always a direct question to answer. You may outline your position in the introduction, but the conclusion is where you answer it directly. It can be easy to forget hopw the question was asked and simply write a general conclusion that does not say what your answer is. So if the question asks you To what extent do you agree,your conclusion must say how much you agree, not simply that you agree.


Tip: Reread the question to see what type of answer you should give: look at the task words carefully
Exercise
Read this essay question. Ask yourself what language you need to include in the conclusion to answer it
Close Me
Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree?
The introduction and the conclusion

The introduction and the conclusion in many ways match each other. The introduction identifies the question and looks forward to what the essay will include by outlining your position. The conclusion does the same sort of thing: it answers the question and explains the main points in the essay. One big difference is that your conclusion must explicitly answer the question. introduction: identify question + outline position/what essay will include


conclusion: answer question + explain the main points why Tip: Read the introduction first: make sure your answer in the conclusion matches the introduction dont give a different answer in the conclusion
Exercise
Read the essay introduction and ask yourself what is the position of the essay. Your conclusion must balance this.
Close Me
A serious problem is caused in many schools by children who not only do not pay attention to their teacher but also disrupt their classmates. One proposed solution is to place these children in separate classes to minimise disruption. While there is something to be said for this, I do not believe that it is practical.


The content paragraphs and the conclusion

The content paragraphs should also balance your conclusion. The content paragraphs explain your main ideas and explain them in some detail with reasons and examples. The conclusion outlines your main ideas and explains how they fit the argument of your essay. Content paragraphs: state main ideas + support with reasons and examples Conclusion: summarise main ideas Tip: Reread the topic sentences of your paragraphs they should contain the main ideas of your essay
Exercise
Read the content paras of this essay to find the main points. To make it easy for you, I have highlighted the topic sentences
Close Me Version 1
This is the quick version.You just read the first/topic sentence to get the main idea.


It is almost certainly true that separating out problem students will result in quieter and more orderly classrooms. This should benefit the majority of children and enable them to learn more effectively. They would no longer be distracted by classmates who either talk all the time or ignore the teacher. Teachers would also be able to concentrate on instructing their students and not have to waste time on disciplinary matters, which should mean that most children learned better. There may, however, be practical problems in implementing this policy. One difficulty would be that the children placed in special classes may behave even worse than before when they are put together. It also seems likely that there is less chance of their behaviour improving when they do not have the positive influence of well-behaved classmates. As a result, this special class could become so unmanageable that it caused even more problems for the school administration than it solved.
Version 2
This is the more complex version for the more advanced conclusion.You dont just take the topic, you borrow language and briefly summarise reasons too.


It is almost certainly true that separating out problem students will result in quieter and more orderly classrooms. This should benefit the majority of children and enable them to learn more effectively. They would no longer be distracted by classmates who either talk all the time or ignore the teacher. Teachers would also be able to concentrate on instructing their students and not have to waste time on disciplinary matters, which should mean that most children learned better. There may, however, be practical problems in implementing this policy. One difficulty would be that the children placed in special classes may behave even worse than before when they are put together. It also seems likely that there is less chance of their behaviour improving when they do not have the positive influence of well-behaved classmates. As a result, this special class could become so unmanageable that it caused even more problems for the school administration than it solved.
Exercise read the essay, write the conclusion

This is an exercise that you can do with one of your own essays of course. Read the essay again and the rewrite the conclusion.


Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree? A serious problem is caused in many schools by children who not only do not pay attention to their teacher but also disrupt their classmates. One proposed solution is to place these children in separate classes to minimise disruption. While there is something to be said for this, I do not believe that it is practical.
It is almost certainly true that separating out problem students will result in quieter and more orderly classrooms. This should benefit the majority of children and enable them to learn more effectively. They would no longer be distracted by classmates who either talk all the time or ignore the teacher. Teachers would also be able to concentrate on instructing their students and not have to waste time on disciplinary matters, which should mean that most children learned betetr.


There may, however, be practical problems in implementing this policy. One difficulty would be that the children placed in special classes may behave even worse than before when they are put together. It also seems likely that there is less chance of their behaviour improving when they do not have the positive influence of well-behaved classmates. As a result, this special class could become so unmanageable that it caused even more problems for the school administration than it solved.
Close Me
In summary, my belief is that while providing special classes for disruptive children is likely to benefit the education of the majority of students,it could also lead to more difficulties for school administrations. For this reason, I suggest that this policy should only be implemented in extreme circumstances.
Notes
The questions asks Do you agree or disagree? In my intro I outline that there are good and bad sides to this policy. In my conclusion I answer the question by saying it should happen only sometimes.


My first content para says that there are some good parts and my second says there are some bad
Read more: The conclusion a summary of the essay and an answer to the question | Dominic Cole's IELTS Blog http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-essays/8545/#ixzz226fTAHRS Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives








The introduction the link between the question and the essay
The idea behind this lesson is that as you sit down to write your introduction in the exam, you focus on two things that all good intros do: identifying the question and explaining your position towards it. There may be other things you might include in your intro, but these two points are key and if you focus on them, then you should be able to write an introduction that is clear and clarity is essential in an essay introduction.
Overview the introduction looking backwards and forwards

A good place to start is to understand the introductions role in the essay. One possible way of doing this is just to see it as the link between your essay and the question it looks both backwards to the question and forwards to what you will write in the essay. If you understand that the question always asks you to write an answer saying what you think about that question (whether in opinion/argument/discussion format), then you should see that the intro should:


1. explain the question 2. outline your position in relation to it
Identifying the question looking backwards

The next step is to be aware of two problems that you may face when identifying the question. A problem known is a problem at least half-solved.
Complex questions
If you look at this question, you should see that it is complex as are most IELTS questions. It is complex because it contains different parts. There is the background info Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others, the proposition Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately and the task Do you agree or disagree?


My best suggestion is that with questions such as these you should make sure that your intro identifies both what I call here the background and the proposition. This may mean your introduction is slightly longer, but it should ensure that you answer the complete question. If you dont, you may lose on Task Response and Coherence.
Repeating the question

A second problem you may face is that you simply repeat the question. This is serious because if you use the same wording as the question, the examiner may simply delete those words. You think you have written 260 words, but in fact it is only230 words. There will be penalised on Task Response heavily.
Tip: learn the skill of summary writing

A useful (perhaps necessary) skill here is the skill of summarising. To do this, you need to understand that you can use words from the question sometimes you have no choice as the word used is simply the correct word and it would be a mistake to change it. What you should not do is repeat whole blocks of words. How can you do this in an exam? Try this technique.


Read the question Note key words think of any synonyms Rewrite the question from those words without looking at the question (if you do, it is much harder not to repeat things) Look back at the question to see if you have covered all the main points You may find this easier, if you have planned vocabularyearlier.
Exercise test your summary skills

Look at this question and then read my summary notes. Can you write an introduction using those notes or your own words.
Notes


My own version uses some original words from the question and some phrases of my own. I wrote it looking at these notes. Some words I use, some I dont and some others I change. These are just notes. disruptive [create disturbance - synonym] school children [school children - can't think of another word - pupils(?)] do not pay attention to the teacher [noisy and disobedient] bad effect [negative influence on others - synonym] by themselves [separately - synonym] have own class [grouped together - similar idea ]
Close Me
A serious problem is caused in many schools by children who not only do not pay attention to their teacher but also disrupt their classmates. One proposed solution is to place these children in separate classes to minimise disruption. While there is something to be said for this, I do not believe that it is practical.


Exercise write the question

Heres an exercise you can try with one of your own essays. Read the essay introduction and then write the question. If you have written the intro well,you should also be able to rewrite the question. The introduction
There is some dispute whether the best method of assessing students is to use examinations or some form of continuous assessment. This is a complex issue and my belief is that there is probably no one method that applies to all educational systems.
Close Me
Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessment. Do you agree or disagree with this view?


Outlining your position looking forwards

My other very strong suggestion for the introduction is to outline your position. This is the part that looks forward to the rest of the essay. The reason for doing this is that to get a high score for Coherence and Task Response, you need to have a consistent position throughout the essay and that includes the intro.
Two different approaches

There are different ways of outlining your position in an introduction. Broadly, these fall into two categories either you give your answer/opinion or you simply say how you will approach the question. Both can work.
1.Give the answer at the beginning

Here you state what you think in the intro. For example:


Some people believe that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others,however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion A childs education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society. Therefore this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone. (Cambridge IELTS 8 model answer)
More complex examples may also include reference to the reasons for the point of view. This adds coherence to the essay by linking forward to the main paras. Though if you want to do this you should normally try to use only a few words. The content is for the main paras.
2.Say how you will approach the question

Here you dont give your opinion up front, you just say how you will approach the question:
Some believe museums should entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


Museums often represent different things to different people. On the one hand, many people feel a museums primary purpose is to entertain. However, others feel they function to house an educational resource. The merits of both arguments will be analyzed before a conclusion is decided upon. IELTS Writing Blog
Which is better? Neither though my preference is for the first type. You might note that both these questions are Discuss questions. There is always more than one approach available. [divide]
How many sentences?

There is no answer to this. It is perfectly possible to write a good intro to an IELTS essay in 2 sentences. It is also possible to write 4 sentences. Two points to note though are: 1. the introduction is a map to the essay you want to spend as much time writing the content of the essay as as possible. The more time you spend on the intro, the less you have for the content


2. some questions are more complex than others and have 2 parts. These questions may need longer introductions
Further reading
An excellent introduction to introductions is to be found at Writefix. You may need to decide to adapt the advice there for exams. You may also want to play with the Essay Map at readwritethink: its an interesting tool that shows you how the different parts of an essay fit together.
Read more: The introduction the link between the question and the essay | Dominic Cole's IELTS Blog http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-essays/the-introduction-the-link-between-the-question-and-theessay/#ixzz226hvpZB6 Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives





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