Affective Factors in My English Learning

Learning Styles The success of my English did not come easily. It took almost 15 years in order to achieve this level yet I am still learning. Some factors made my road easier and many factors made my road harder. To Share this finding with others, I hope it may help many learners. Firstly, before explaining the factors, I would like to describe myself. It will help you to see clearly how some factors helped me. I am the eldest among my brothers. We are Chinese but none of us speak Chinese language. My father is able to speak Chinese Language in some families varieties (Mandarin, Khe, Guang Dung). However, my mother does not speak any Chinese dialect. We rarely speak Chinese since my brothers and I know nothing. My first language is Indonesian Language but in Kalimantan dialect. We, Kalimantan people, often omit some parts of the words or sentences and using different accent e.g quality of voice, pronunciation of vowels and consonants, stress, and prosody. For examples: instruction like coba kamu/ kau lihat! becomes co kau lihat and Jangan donk! becomes Jangan bah!. Sometime we reverse Indonesia formal grammars. Sentence like Buku punya/ milik saya (My book) becomes aku punya buku (My book) and it is funny since aku punya buku in formal language means I have a book. My Indonesia also did not come easily since I rarely spook to other people. Every day, after went back from school I spent my time to sleep and watch T.V. That is why my speaking ability became rather dull. I felt nervous whenever I spook with other people and became paranoid that they would laugh my grammar. It slightly got better after I went to university and joined some club activities. I tried to speak in front of people in formal grammar. I also learned some Javanese words from some friends during my undergraduate program time. However, I only know Surabaya dialect. Some people say it is a less-polite dialect. H. Douglas Brown (2007, p.118) explained that learners had variations in learning styles and strategies. He continued that style is individual characteristics of intellectual functions and strategies are the specific methods of approaching a problem or task, modes of operation for achieving a particular end, planned designs for controlling and
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manipulating certain information (Brown, 2007:119). Using individual self-check I will try to explain what my learning styles are. Field Independent Dependent Brown described field independent style as ones ability to perceive a particular, relevant item or factor in a field of distracting items, as for field dependent style is ones ability to see items as a unified thing. We may analogize the styles like a person seeing a picture that consist some men and those men actually are fragments of a woman face. If you can see those men, it means that you have field independent style. However, if you see the woman clearly, it means that you are field dependence person. He then continued describing that a Field Independent (FI) style enables someone to distinguish parts from whole or concentrate on something (like reading a book in a noisy train station). I have a Field Independent style. I could read a book while my surrounding is very noisy. Left and Right-Brain Dominance Torrance as cited in Brown, had a list of the characteristic of left and right brain dominance. Left-Brain Dominance Intellectual Remembers names Responds to verbal instructions and explanation Experiments systematically and with control Makes objective judgments Planed and structured Prefers established information Analytic reader Reliance on language in thinking and remembering Prefers talking and writing certain Intuitive Remembers faces Responds to demonstrate, illustrated or symbolic instructions Experiments randomly and with less restraint Makes subjective judgments Fluid and spontaneous Prefers elusive, information Synthesizing reader uncertain Right-Brain Dominance

Reliance on images in thinking and remembering Prefers drawing and manipulating objects
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Prefers multiple-choice tests Control feelings

Prefers open-ended questions More free with feeling Good at interpreting body language Frequently uses metaphors Favors intuitive problem solving

Not good at interpreting body language Rarely uses metaphors Favors logical problem solving

means the characteristics that I have Based on Torrance list, I assume that I have left-brain dominance. I like mathematics and chemistry more than social studies and language lesson. Brown (2007, 125) stated that the left hemisphere was associated with logical, analytical thought, with mathematical and linear processing of information. The right hemisphere perceived and remembered visual, tactile, and auditory images; it was more efficient in processing holistic, integrative and emotional information. Ambiguity Tolerance Ambiguity tolerant people relatively are open minded in accepting ideologies, events, and facts that contradict their own views but ambiguity intolerant people are more closed-minded and dogmatic, tend to reject items that are contradictory or slightly incongruent with their existing systems (Brown, 2007: 126). I guess that I am an ambiguity tolerant person since I rarely reject any new ideas. I am an imaginative person. When I was in secondary school, I always thought that one day Power Ranger would become real. This idea came since a friend of mind told me that at that time there might not be any power ranger, yet in the future, many robot would occur and also power ranger. In addition, we still believe such kind of idea until now. The person who is tolerant of ambiguity is free to entertain a number of innovative and creative possibilities and not be cognitively or affectively disturbed by ambiguity and uncertainty (Brown, 2007).

However, brown also stated that an ambiguity tolerant person is more successful in learning language than ambiguity intolerant person since in second language learning a great amount of apparently contradictory may interfere during learning. It seems that there is an anomaly in my case. Reflectivity and Impulsivity A person who tends to make either a quick or a gambling guess at an answer to a problem is an impulsivity style. In contrast, a reflectivity style is a person who tends to make either slow or calculated decision (Brown, 2007). David Ewing in Brown (2007) stated these styles as systematic and intuitive style. I like reading, and sometimes I tried to find the errors on others writing. I tried to write more carefully as if people will read my writing. Brown cited Kagan (1965) that children who are conceptually reflective tend to make fewer errors in reading than impulsive children; however, impulsive people are usually faster readers, and eventually master the psycholinguistic guessing game. I place my position as a reflectivity person. Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic Style Visual learners tend to prefer reading and studying charts, drawing and other graphic information. Auditory learners prefer listening to lecturers and audiotapes. In addition, kinesthetic learners will show a preference for demonstrations and physical activity involving bodily movements (Brown, 2007). Since I was a kid, I found that it was hard to listening to my lecturer explanations. I preferred to read the book and find some clue that was related to the material. I think I am a visual learner. Negative Factors Next, I would like to describe the factors why I could not achieve good marks in English. I had learned English since I was in 4th grade Elementary. The teachers, the 4th- 6th grade, are male and they were brothers. Their methods are Grammar Translation Methods. They would give the grammar and asked students to translate some sentences from Indonesian into English. Henceforth, I will replace Indonesian Language into Indonesia. We also had to answer the questions in Textbook such as Multiple Choice and Fill in the blanks.

Frankly speaking, I did not remember at all any English grammar they taught when I entered Junior High School. My teachers always taught about grammar and seldom gave good examples. I did not know why I was studying that thing (grammar) so I only tried to memorize and it proved failed since I did not have a good memory. Though I am left-brain dominance, I preferred study inductive classroom environment than deductive style of teaching. I could easily distinguish a pattern from many examples and make the rule out of the examples. It is also quiet contrary with what Abraham cited on Brown. He claimed that Field Independence performed better in deductive lessons, while those with Field Dependent styles were more successful with inductive lessons. Or perhaps, I miscalculated my real style. The same difficulty was also encountered in my Junior and High School. The teacher taught deductively. They taught grammar and asked the student to do the assignment in textbook. We rarely got chance to speak in front of class using English. That is why my pronunciation is not good now. Lower-order processes such as pronunciation are dependent on early maturing and less adaptive macro-neural circuits, which makes foreign accents difficult to overcome after childhood Walsh and Diller, 1998 (Brown, 2007). Scovel on Brown also agreed that children are more easily acquire their first and second language successfully on fluent pronunciation rather than adults since they have their brain lateralization (Brown, 59). Positive Factors A fresh air blew when I continued my study on a diploma-one Collage. A very different style was used. Every time, the lecturers would speak in English. We also studied using type recorder, video, power point, and some visual aids. The students were only 10-12 and it made me did not nervous whenever I were given chances to speak in English. We also practiced conversation a lot and each meeting everyone got chance. The material that discussed based on our experience. We discussed about health, hobbies, activities, future, politics, etc. We also did some writing exercises. The lectures, never corrected the grammar right away. They let our finish the writing and discussed the idea and after we completed the writing, they would mark the grammar and show us the mistakes. We built our confident through daily exercise and practice.

The structure lecture was the most interesting lecture for me. Whenever he described tenses or any grammar, he would use a funny drawing in white board. His teaching motivated me to become a good teacher. I learned hard in order to become like him. Brown stated that the most catch-all term for explaining the success or failure of virtually any complex task, motivation is a star player in cast of characters assigned to second language learning scenarios around the world (Brown, 168). The listening lecture would asked students to come to the laboratory and promised that we would be able to play some movies after the lesson. We would not be afraid of becoming bored. While listening to some passages, sometimes, he would press pause the recorder and repeat the passages on his own voice slowly. He also motivated me by saying that becoming an English teacher would have a bright future since English Teacher was paid more. It is just like what Ausubel stated on Brown that underlying needs or drives is the compelling force behind our decisions. He mentioned six motivations, which in my case; they are the need for stimulation and the need for ego enhancement (see Brown, 2007: 169). There were also some factors that made my English better. First, my parents always told me there was a school that needed my help in hometown. The principal once also asked me to teach in her school after I finished my study. Other reason was praise. When I first entered my diploma one degree, I got pre-test. I was almost placed to the lowest rank among many others. The test was joined by some other departments such as Secretary, IT, Hotel and Tourism, and English. However, during first term test, which was every 3 months, I got the second rank among my classmate. I was praised and got some encouragement from the lecturers. It helped me to build my confidence until I graduated my S1 degree. Still, studying for almost 15 years, I think my English is not good. Whenever I tried to speak fluently, I messed up my grammar; in contrast, I barely speak a complete sentence whenever I tried to speak with a good grammar. Some factors such as motivation and praise are the most beneficial factors that helped my English. There are many factors actually that I think still need to be more examined accurately. I hope reading this writing will help readers to at least more aware of their self-styles and strategies to learn English.