ON THE COVER

Are You Addicted To facebook? Is the Internet causing you to avoid real life?
By Jamie Lober onnecting with others is important. Sometimes something that can be a hobby, such as surfing the internet or social networking, can impede healthy relational skills. If you think that you or someone in your family is spending too much time on Facebook or social networking on the internet, you are not alone. A lot of families are concerned and it is a growing problem, said Joyce Marter, psychotherapist and co-owner of Urban Balance. The issue is that many people are misusing the internet to avoid real life. Though internet addiction is not presently a clinical diagnosis, a lot of people are using the term. The internet is a wonderful source for information and leisure but can become a compulsive behavior that can be overused and unmanageable, said Marter. Signs it is becoming a problem include if you are isolating yourself, not spending as much time with family and friends in person, having difculty managing responsibilities, or not keeping up with homework, chores, or are becoming defensive or secretive about internet use. People were set up biologically to be with other people and have solitary time. Humans are herd animals so our eyes need to see peo-

ple. We pick up signals from people and we are still learning this in our teenage years and communicating by internet is not giving us the eye contact, voice, nuances of people and our intuition does not have a role, said Pat Alderden, supervisor at the Chicago Treatment and Counseling Center. In fact, internet offers less contact than the phone. A gift we can give our kids is to encourage by getting out there and going to church or meetings to be with people, said Alderden. People who are addicted to Facebook are not honoring their whole self; they are going for impulses to make them feel good right now, said Alderden. Spending too much time social networking can hinder real relationships. It affects your ability to experience intimacy with others because interpersonal relation-

ships require some vulnerability and a little bit of work in order to make secure attachments, said Jake Colton of Open Avenue Therapy Chicago. Making new friends through social media can also pose dangers of its own. You and your children are at risk for meeting strangers or online predators, said Marter. Addiction to the internet is serious. Adults and children can use it to self-soothe if they are feeling stressed out or anxious and sometimes hopping online is misused as a coping skill just like drugs, alcohol and other addictive or compulsive behaviors, said Marter. People with attention decit disorders are spending a lot of time doing online games which are stimulating and appealing to them. Addiction is a disease of the brain that can cause problems with school,

relationships or depression, said Dr. Joseph Lee, child analyst psychiatrist and medical director at Hazelden Center for Youth and Families. The word addiction has become colloquial so it is important to recognize that it is an issue. Our brain has reward circuitry and it releases dopamine and other pleasurable chemicals when you do something or ingest something that is good, said Lee. This can also include things like gambling or sex. If you notice a family member is not using their time well and is getting engrossed in the internet, it is up to other family members to set the right kind of culture in the home and to indicate proper time management and scheduling, said Lee. Try to help your family member who is addicted set a goal around their addiction. Some people want to try a cold turkey thing whereas others want to see how much they are really online, said Colton. If you or your child is on Facebook or another social networking site for three hours a day, try to cut him back to two hours a day. Approaches should usually be incremental in terms of improvement, said Colton. Monitor your time spent online. For kids, try using a point system or small rewards to reinforce positive behavior like lis-

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February 2011 www.familytimemagazine.com Family Time Magazine

tening to parents when it is time to unplug to do homework or other responsibilities, said Marter. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a great intervention. It is working with a person on their thinking and belief systems so the way they are processing their emotions and feelings is the best way possible and they are not falling into an addictive compulsive cycle with the internet, said Marter. Do not think that you can let Facebook or internet addiction slide. The internet is a poor substitute for social development and sometimes people do not understand that what they put on the internet is indelible and is there forever, said Lee. Bullying also exists on social networking sites since there are no rules. Even adults sometimes go too far so imagine kids trying to have good boundaries, said Lee. America is not the only country suffering. In some Asian countries, internet addiction rates are quite high so there are cultural variables, said Lee. You must be mindful of the kind of culture you set in your home. It is important that you parent based on your childs social and emotional maturity and not based on intellectual prowess and being technologically savvy, said Lee. Engage in family activities because you must nd a substitute or something that is equally or more rewarding than social networking. Internet addiction may be getting more attention in the near future. It is being looked at as to whether or not it would be classied in our new diagnostic statistical manual, said Dr. Daniel Angres, medical director at Resurrection Behavioral Health-Addiction Services. While your family member attempts to recover from his or her addiction to Facebook, take a moment to understand what they are experiencing. Sometimes you have physiologic dependence so if you stop you get withdrawal and if you use continuously you will need more to get the same effect which is called tolerance, said Angres. You do not have to have

ple who get addicted and want to know if there is something underlying someone who abuses it like if they have depression, said Angres. It appears that people with one addiction often have another. Early identication and intervention are the keys, said Angres. The good news is that you can recover from an addiction to social networking and the internet. Talk about it with your family and let everyone know that it can be a great resource but it can be misused and needs to be taken seriously, said Marter. tolerance or withdrawal to technically have an addiction. All you have to demonstrate is continued often compulsive use of something despite the fact that it is hurting you, said Angres. It is up to you to be the judge. There are positives and negatives to social networking. Some people make use of social media to enhance their lives whereas for others it becomes too easy of an outlet and becomes a substitute for a form of interaction, said Colton. Real life interaction is essential. Some people have social anxiety and will be more prone to overusing the internet as an outlet, said Colton. Research is shedding light on this topic. We need a better understanding about newer addictions like the internet and we are looking for genetic differences in peo-

ON THE COVER

addict

You know you are addicted to facebook When Top 10 signs

1. 2. 3.
Tolerance: Your time spent using Facebook increases daily. You are craving more satisfaction. Reduction: The thought of reducing time spent on Facebook causes you to feel distressed. Obsession: You obsess about what is written on your Facebook wall, comments, what other people are saying.

4. Lack of social activitiy: You rarely spend time with family and friends in the real world. 5. Reachability: The best way to get in touch with you during the day is through your Facebook page. 6. Friends List: You have more than 15 random people in your friends list. 7. Loss of Sleep: You stay up all night using Facebook. 8. Inability to Function: Not able to go to work due to fatigue from using Facebook. 9. Posting Updates: Posting more than 3 updates per day 10. Family Concern: Your family becomes worried about the time you are spending away from them to
be on Facebook.

Family Time Magazine www.familytimemagazine.com February 2011

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