Thanksgiving Leftovers

the free press

december 2012

Dear [you], For a long time now, The UConn Free Press has been up and running; sometimes walking. Through it all, we have received quantifiable fucktons of submissions. Submissions of all viewpoints, of all styles, all qualities, and from all types of people. People like [you], people like [your roommate], and even people like [your mom]. We love that. The Free Press would not be what it is without the good people of the world sending in their art, articles, love, hate, etc. Unfortunately, we only get so many pages to print every time we print an issue. So often times a submission does not make the final cut. It is unfortunate, but we tuck away these submissions into our vault of AntiFuckery. So this Thanksgiving season of 2012, the Free Press would ask of you to sit down with [your friends], [your family], [your dog]; heat up your leftovers, and enjoy our leftovers. In this issue you will find some politics, some laughs, some poetry, and of course, some very pretty artwork. Some of it is new, some of it is old. These are our leftovers. Enjoy. With Love, The University of Connecticut Department of Anti-Fuckery

LOCAL FOOD
By FRANK CERVO

The other day I had some of my favorite people over for brunch. As I was preparing the meal, they sat around my kitchen making light conversation. Being surrounded by the beautiful aromas emanating from the stove (thanks to yours truly), they began talking about recent experiences with cooking. They discussed all of the hardships that go into planning a meal and deciding what to cook. They complained about that inevitable trip to Big Y to procure all of the ingredients. Of course, these are normal problems in our daily lives, but they are symptoms of a much greater one. Food is one of the basic needs of all human beings. We cant live without it. Its a source of great joy when we have it and a huge stressor when we dont. In developed society, food is taken for granted. Whenever we get hungry, we have easy access to almost any kind of food that we could desire. That very desire, however, has turned our food system into a huge business, and a very lucrative one at that. Food production is based on supply and demand. Entrepreneurs have found ways to produce steady, relatively uniform outputs of food products to be consumed all around the world. And, as with any other industry, decreased production cost leads to increased output, lower prices, and higher profits. So why, you may ask, have I taken this time to explain these basic principles of economics? Well, lets take a few steps back. Throughout the course of human history, diets varied seasonally and geographically. Hunters and gatherers spent their days searching for anything they could find to keep themselves nourished. Early agricultural societies chose crops based upon the climate of the area and what could be grown. Fast forward to today, where we choose our diets based upon the money in our pockets and our past experience with food. When considering our next meal, we think about what we can get with the funds at our disposal. Knowing this, those involved in the food business have made sure that we have access to whatever we could possibly want. How did they do this? They cleared forests to make way for agricultural land. They produced chemicals to help crops grow. They shipped food products all over the globe. They added new genes to their seeds. All of this was done so that they can make a profit and their consumers can have easy access to food. But this comes with a cost. Those forests were an invaluable resource, not to be consumed but used by countless creatures, humans included; they kept the

ground intact, the air clean and the water pure. Yes, those chemicals will help the plants grow, but they will also disrupt the ecosystems around them. Those ships leave a dirty, destructive trail behind them. And those genes were not selected for the long term benefit; they were produced for the short term gain. Our food system did not develop this way alone; it developed along with all the other aspects of society, but it does not need to be this way. Imagine yourself in my guests shoes, preparing to cook dinner for your friends. Instead of going to the grocery store, though, you take a walk through the garden and pick whatever is ready. You combine these things with some others youve found in passing throughout the week (Chestnuts used to dominate New England forests!) and youve got yourself a meal. At what cost? None! Your garden grows in the space formerly occupied by the trees used to build and fuel your home, from nutrients taken and replaced by native, seasonal plants and the scraps from your own diet, your arms and legs brought them inside, and they grow as their carefully selected genes tell them to. I realize that this is an idealized situation, but its not too farfetched. If you cant maintain a garden, visit your local farmers market. The farmers there have devoted their lives to learning exactly what grows best in your area and their products have a much smaller footprint than those tomatoes coming in from Mexico. Do a little research into edible plants in the area and keep an eye out. Learn what those codes on your produce mean and buy organic. And most importantly, know exactly where your food is coming from and appreciate it. Dont take it for granted, it didnt just appear on that shelf; it has a long history, and if youre not pleased with it, dont eat it.

when it hits, ya feel no pain

by Robby Hermanns
This is a discussion on music, one of the most powerful of all human creations. Its strength is greater than both Beowulf and a hydrogen bomb combined, and it wields immense influence over all parts of the globe. The ability for people to understand and enjoy music, to be enriched and healed by it, is an incredibly powerful notion expressed the world over. I know of its great power because of the tremendous effect it has had on my life. And if there is anything we understand about the human experience, it is that none is ever wholly unique to another. I know then that if it can affect me like this, it can affect anyone like this. My deep love and passion for music stems undoubtedly from my father. Ever since I was a young boy I can remember him blaring his two 4 and a foot JLB speakers that shook the house harder than if Chuck Berry were right there in the living room, rockin-n-rollin for us in the flesh. All this was much to the dismay and headache of my very forgiving mother, of course. He played everything from The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylanto R.E.M., Beck, or Dan BernThe Chili Peppers to N.W.A.Eminem to Stevie Wonderand everything else thats ever been good in between. As such, over the years Ive gained a very thorough, cultured and eclectic taste for this music stuff. But my dad provided much more than just an education on whos who in music. What I learned more than anything through him was how intensely this stuff can be appreciated, and to implement music as a constant healer in my life. It has become a form of everyday therapy every time I turn it on, and I wouldnt experience half of the emotions I regularly do, if music werent such an active presence for me. In cultivating that appreciation, a furious feeding frenzy for all things music was ignited within me and it hasnt been put out since. And I think it must burn with everlasting fuel because it shows no signs of slowing. I wonder if we could run cars on music? Wowis anyone taking notes? Write that down. Now, as music has managed to play such an important role in my life, I must admit that sometimes I may come off a bit snobbish when talking about it or at least when I hear something that is...wellbad, I dont often refrain from expressing that opinion. I have learned that kind of pisses people off and so I have improved a lot in that regard, but Ive also realized after a lot of meditation and reflection on the matter, why I am that way. If the point hasnt been driven home yet, music has had a significant effect on me, so naturally I just want others lives to be touched in a similar way. Besides, I think that passion begs snobbery. If I think of something as having the power to heal people, even change the world (ever heard of the 60s?), its only natural for me to be upset when it is used to anything less than its full potential. Unfortunately, pop music of today is falling far short of its potential, or at least its using the force for the Dark Side. In the 60s, the music was full of revolution. There was a very unpopular war being fought in Vietnam, and that certainly served as the basis for a lot of the unrest in the country. However, in so many ways it was the music that brought the youth together and showed them the strength in their numbers. If the hippies accomplished nothing, at least there was a shared feeling of unity among them, something that seems tragically lost today. The music inspired them to think, to question, to act. There was meaning in the words, and they were beyond just incitations of political upheaval. Bands like The Beatles taught us that All You Need is Love, and we still remember it today. The Bands Levon Helm gave us reason for pause when he sang about the inevitable pains of warno matter what side youre fighting for in The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down. Pink Floyd created gardens of sonic bliss and caused many to question the system. These and so many other great bands (I didnt even crack the seal here people, and it would take pages more that I simply dont have) sang of love, of freedom, of partying, and some of them put into their music a daring twinge of anarchy and disorder, while others encouraged peace and oneness. The music was interesting, thought-provoking, and it spoke to both the beauties and the struggles of the human experience. It is the reason that many people still listen to that music and will for years to come. The precise inverse of that is the same reason most of the pop stars of today experience a short burst of stardom and disappear overnight. They make the record companies as many pretty pennies as theyre good for, and then its on to the next disposable trend setting idiot with a mic to have any semblance of his/her worth and creativity wrung dry by the same execs, and they will continue on this ravaging cycle of deculturation until there is nothing left. But if there were any worth to what these people were singing about, they wouldnt fade so quickly. They would have staying power, and we would all benefit.

There is a reason Bob Marley, Biggie Smalls and The Rolling Stones all make their way onto most peoples iPods even today. They were REAL. Whether the music has a direct message in it is not even really the point. The point is whether there is something truly unique or interesting going on. When the music is pure and the artist passionate, it is immediately apparent. It, too, is it apparent when the artist is impure, and in it just for the fame and money. I am not the authority on all things music. All I can do is report my observations and personal experiences to you. But imagine if instead of being bombarded with songs about Gagnam Styles or about potentially calling a person you have only recently encountered, they were songs in which a person actually bore their thoughts and their souls on tape. Wouldnt we all be better off in that situation? Maybe so, maybe not. (Was it for this my life I sought?) Please forgive the diatribe on pop music. Its just that this stuff really matters to me and as I said, sometimes I take it too personally. If you take nothing else from this article, it should be that whatever music suits your fancy, love it truly. Try and get something out of it to benefit you. Music is our universal language, and its powers should not be underestimated. And if you get confused, just listen to the music play

art by Titus Ezekiel Abad(ass)

Danksgiving Recipes
Recipes by Zoe | Intro by Jellows There is a magical holiday that a special group of people enjoy thoroughly. The holiday that I am referring to is Thanksgiving, or as a very special group of people like to call it, Danksgiving. Depending on how much THC you consume, Danksgiving may be a daily holiday for you. Here are some pottacular recipes for you to consume this holiday! Caution: These edibles are extremely potent (they chemically bind to your fat!). Please limit yourself to 1 serving every 12 hours.

*Marijuana Butter Heat 5 cups of water so that it is hot to the touch and add 4 oz. of marijuana leaf and 1 lb. (about 2 cups) of soft, unsalted butter. Bring the mixture to a boil, cover, and simmer on low heat for 1 hours while stirring occasionally. Strain the mixture well, preferably with a rice press. Let the mixture set in the refrigerator until the butter and water separate. When cooled, the butter and pot will congeal on top of the water. Collect the hardened butter and discard the water. Note that every cup of marijuana butter will have the same potency as one ounce of marijuana leaf.

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie Preheat oven to 350 F. Cream together 2-5 teaspoons marijuana butter* and 3 tablespoons flour, and set aside. In a large pot, combine 1 cup chicken broth, 1 cups cubed turkey (or veggie chicken strips), 1 small diced potato, 2 cans of mixed veggies (or leftover veggies), cup white wine, 1 tbsp soy sauce, tsp black pepper, and tsp dry sage. Simmer the mixture for 20 minutes, then stir in the marijuana butter mix. Thoroughly combine everything using a wire whisk. Cook for another few minutes until mixture is thickened, and then pour mixture into a casserole dish and top with a premade pie crust. Bake for 25-30 minutes. Serve hot with a side of cranberry sauce. Serves about 4. Herbal Brew Mix 3 ounces of dry marijuana leaf with one cup per liter of your preferred choice of hard liquor (at least 80 proof). Let the mix sit for 3 days. Strain the mix through a sieve multiple times clear the liquor. For the love of god - enjoy this with caution. This shit will hit you really hard. In other words, dont have more than one shot a night. Flying Fudge Mix together cup marijuana butter* and cup plain butter OR cup marijuana butter*, cup heavy cream, and 2 cups sugar in a pot until completely smooth. Then add one 12 oz. bag of bittersweet chocolate chips and one 7 oz. jar of marshmallow fluff. Mix completely until smooth. Pour the mixture into a large cake pan and let cool. Serves about 14.

The Darker Side

Thanksgiving is of course a time to think about the things for which we are thankful, but it is also an important time to reflect on those that are less fortunate than us. There are many unfortunate situations causing people suffering across the globe. However, far too many Americans overlook the direct connection that the Thanksgiving holiday has to oppression and suffering some of which continues to this day. We all know the classic story of Thanksgiving that is taught in elementary schools across America. From a very young age we have all been told about the Pilgrims working together with the Native Americans to help each other survive. Both groups taught the other valuable skills and a made an agreement to share the land peacefully. This mutual agreement culminated in a large feast among the settlers and the natives to celebrate the harvest. This feast has come to be known as the first Thanksgiving in America. The Native Americans had been living on these lands for centuries prior to the arrival of Europeans, but they welcomed them and attempted to coexist rather than fight for the land. However, this harmony and peace did not last. Unfortunately, it did not take long for the settlers to begin taking more native lands, often with the use of force and bloodshed. As we all know, this was not isolated to New England. Over the course of the next few centuries Native Americans were gradually pushed from their native lands, resulting in bloodshed and terrible atrocities. European settlers and their American descendants eventually took over the vast majority of the continent, leaving Native Americans as an oppressed minority in the land they once lived freely in. Manifest Destiny was the ubiquitous and driving idea behind American westward expansion in the 19th century. Proponents of Manifest Destiny believed that it was the right, duty, and destiny for Americans to expand across the continent until reaching the Pacific Ocean. This was not how Native Americans felt. For them, Manifest Destiny was an unstoppable force of genocide and oppression. As the United States reached towards the Pacific Coast, countless Native Americans were beaten, killed, and forced from their homes. The modern situation is hardly better. The descendants of those who suffered for the cause of Manifest Destiny continue to endure lasting hardship. American Indian communities today face a staggering variety of issues including alcoholism, suicide, and family violence (Poupart 88). Additionally, American Indians receive little support from American society and are often victims of discrimination and alienation. From an objective point of view, it is clear that the United States pursuit of Manifest Destiny created a system of oppression which has ravaged Native American communities and left todays American Indians bitter, frustrated, and alienated. Among Native Americans, the memory of genocide and tribal extinction is a raw unhealing wound (Poupart 88). This wound may not be readily evident, but it is undoubtedly there. It is the result of acts perpetrated by Americans such as taking Native Americans land and forcing them to relocate. Although it may not be simple to understan how these acts of oppression have affected todays American Indian communities, it is easy to see what marks they have left.

Perhaps the most prominent and startling evidence of the unhealthy state of American Indian communities is the suicide rate. The highest rate of suicide among any ethnic group in the United States is among Native Americans (Grossman 1). This could be attributed to the other numerous social ills plaguing their communities. Suicide rates among adolescents in Native American communities are quite possibly the most shocking indicator of all. This rate was more than twice as high as the suicide rate for all adolescents in the United States (Grossman 1). Clearly, Native American children are suffering the consequences of growing up in an unhealthy society.

of Thanksgiving
by Joey OShea
The days of westward expansion are over and yet Native American communities are still suffering, so what has caused this current environment? One theory is expressed by Lisa Poupart in her essay titled, The Familiar Face of Genocide: Internalize Oppression among American Indians. Her theory attributes social problems among Native Americans to the processes of internalized oppression and identification with the aggressor (Poupart 88). In simple terms, Native Americans have suffered oppression to the point that it has become ingrained within them. The same concepts used to oppress Native Americans, such as otherness, have been accepted, consciously or not, by Native American society. This, combined with the unresolved anger and resentment they continue to hold, has caused Native Americans to lash out in destructive manners within their own families and communities, as well as in their own lives. Although they would certainly desire to direct this anger at their oppressors, this is not a feasible option. As Poupart explains, American Indians who assert rage externally toward our white oppressors are chastised, censored, imprisoned, and murdered (Poupart 99). Many Americans quite simply do not understand or sympathize with these feelings of anger and resentment. Manifest Destiny has undoubtedly left a severe, lasting, and tragic mark on Native Americans and their communities. Native Americans have a long way to go before fully recovering from the devastating impact of Manifest Destiny. They currently face a daunting array of social problems, such as alcoholism and family violence. Additionally, they must overcome prejudice and discrimination from a dominant society which ignores and silences their grievances. One step in the right direction could be through higher rates of college attendance among Native Americans. This however, is not enough alone. Significant improvement will have to come from broad and large scale changes. Regardless of the future for Native Americans, their history provides an important lesson for all people. Despite the importance of progress and the lure of wealth, one cannot forget or ignore that other human beings are affected, sometimes tragically, by our actions. For many people of Native American heritage, Thanksgiving is not simply a holiday of celebration and copious amounts of food. Instead, it is a somber reminder of the brutal history of their ancestors. So this Thanksgiving, when you are reflecting on the things youre grateful for, keep in mind those less fortunate than you in both the past and present. If youre grateful to be living in America, do not forget that this country did not come to be what it is today without bloodshed and suffering. Modern American Indian communities are plagued by devastating social ills including alcoholism, family violence, incest, sexual assault, fetal-alcohol syndrome, homicide, and suicide at startling rates similar to and sometimes exceeding those of white society (Poupart 88). However, it is vital to note that before contact with Europeans, these problems were virtually nonexistent in traditional tribal communities (Poupart 88). According to Poupart, these social ills have become prominent in American Indian communities because of the ways American oppression has influenced the thoughts, emotions, and values of American Indians.
Works Cited Grossman, David C., Carol Milligan, Richard A. Deyo. Risk Factors for Suicide Attempts Among Navajo Adolescents. American Journal of Public Health 81.7 (1991): 870-874. Web. Poupart, Lisa M. The Familiar Face of Genocide: Internalize Oppression among American Indians. Hypatia 18.2 (2003): 86-100. Web.

art by Jacob

The Free Press is thankful for:

All my privilege All my children Boner pills Bananas The funk Our enemiesor else, what would we stand against? ctrl-z Free Speech Free bread sticks at Olive Garden 500 points Swipes Great parking at UConnoh wait 91.7FM WHUS Storrs Democracy Now! Freedom Zoidberg, why not! November 7 Teachers (The kind that really teach) Unicorns The series of tubes Late dining hall hours Wikileaks and Bradley Manning Whistleblowers Skeptics We may or may not be thankful for agnostics Whats left of the environment Trees and Shit People who arent all up in your face up about it German Sparkle Parties Glitter remover Party pants The right to remain silent 4th Amendment Genitalia Gin n Tonics Zoiis Fudge Clean socks The numbers 42 and 69 Tor Independent media [you]

photo by Matt Knoecklein

The Man With no Name, but Hundreds of Faces

By Le Julia
A man who goes by the semi-anonymous name JR: a man who seems about averageheight, French, wears average-looking clothes. A man who started experimenting with graffiti around the age of 15 around Paris, carving his name into the landscape of the city. This man does not seem too unusual, too gifted, too smart, too anything- in a crowd he would disappear. But somehow, his hands have created and changed the world, and his voice now is heard by millions, his Ted Talk in 2011 recording 195,512 views on YouTube. What did this ordinary-seeming man do? What all of us should do- bringing truth to the worlds perceptions. He just happened to do it with a camera lens. He started out with a 28 mm lens, photographing the subjugated, black, French. They were portrayed by the media as thoughtless, violent animals. But knowing that all of them are not angels, but theyre not monsters either, JR took pictures of the misrepresented. The pictures themselves depict stereotypesangry, intimidating, violent faces. He then posted these posters everywhere across Paris, along with the name, age, and building number of each person- humanizing them. A year later, when the Israeli and Palestinian conflict came into the limelight, JR decided to find the truth out for himself. He traveled to Palestine and Israel, and took photographs of the two ethnicities with the same occupations, making a face that JR calls a sign of commitment, to show who they really are. The photographs were printed on huge posters, the size of a house. They juxtaposed the two faces. This program was called Face 2 Face, and was 100% illegal. Nevertheless, JR and his friend Marko pasted these posters across 8 cities, including military towers, using only six friends, two ladders, two brushes, a rented car, a camera, and 20,000 square feet of paper, and the locals themselves. When told what the program was about, and asked, most couldnt tell which face was which ethnicity. When JR heard about injustice in one of the most violent favales, because the largest drug cartel controls it, he decided to go there and paste posters of killed children to try to dam the spilling blood. He enlisted the help of military veterans to hang posters of a woman who was raped in the war. The stories go on. JR risked and still risks his freedom and livelihood to bring truth to the forgotten stories and the misrepresentations. He does not get paid to bring peace and truth to towns, but he considers it a responsibility. By showing the faces of the hurt, the raped, the oppressed, those beaten down by injustice JR hand-feeds people reality. He uses no brand and has no sponsors, and his only obligation is to the truth. He says, Art is not supposed to change the world, to change practical things, but to change perceptions. Art can change the way we see the world. Art can create an analogy. That ability makes art very powerful. You can ignore statistics, distance yourself from words, but when forced to stare into the eyes of the people you oppress, you have to relate. And when asked by the Ted Talks what he would do if he had a wish to change the world, JR only asks, Use art to turn the world inside out. If there is one responsibility every person has as a human being, it is to use art, to make the world a more honest and beautiful place. Like JR, let us create projects so huge with the community that they are forced to ask themselves questions.

To Kissing
Your lips are mountains, heavy with weather and honey. Crested by glistening snowmelt, at once seething and moist, your mouth yawns as a temptress, as distance. I travel the rise and fall of your face with my own wandering limb-like lips. I explore and embrace your downy hills of eyebrow, forests of lashes, oceanic eyes deep and alive with darkest life Stars freckling a sky of olive skin illuminate the path to guide my curious fleshy ever-traveling lips to your own twin peaks. Earth kisses earth as your mouth melts into mine, colliding erupting, eroding: tempest of honey, corporeal quaking serenity.

Memory Sonnet By M. Knoecklein

(In response to I saw you in that pretty red sweater by A.B.) A rose bush grew upon that shirt you wore, And blithe spirit form of memory sweet, Brings echoing glances up off the floor To dance through the waves that helped keep us free. But in that moment I leapt from my soul; The smoke of a past Ive misplaced in time, That keeps me in place, that gives me my role, Brought me back home to this mountain I climb. And now in this endless moment of mine With all here to gaze in upon my eyes; I learn my lesson, with nothing to shine; To show her my soul, with all of its lies. I lean back in stone, forever to wait; Ride on O Infinite! Youve sealed my fate.

Body Worship
Your bodys like an altar. I drink in the smell of your souls cathedrala musty merlot, deep and luxurious. The buds of my tongue quake as sinners in Church, savoring the sweetness of your sweat-slick skin. Breast buds rise to meet your touch, (unabashedly) blooming alike blush pink tulips. Petals and pistils, nipples held by jewelers hands as kaleidoscope rubies, flush to rose-red hues, lush and dewy with blooms of sweat. You cradle my small infinity as I swallow the saving salvation of your musky cathedral. Your body is my altar, and I, your faithful sinner.

For Pablo Neruda

The drip-drip-drop mmm decadent taste of Nerudas honeyed sonnets leaves my lips stickied by language lavish with succulent song. I surrender to the sunlit damp of words lushwith sex and sensation. Neruda, I am devotedly yours: satisfied and satiated. Your language is more than mere saccharine chicken scratch. Lovingly caressed, delicately pressed, these pages I clutch are soggywet with the tears of lost love and the palm-sweat of the ravenous. Soaked by your musings and warmed by the hot fleshly apple powdered sugar cinnamon of your words, I lick the drip-drip-drop mmm from my lips and linger in the lasting honeysweet light of your language.

art by Titus Ezekiel Abad(ass)

ConnPIRG
by The Twizzler
Here at the Free Press, we dig people who like to stir up the system and make this world a brighter place. We especially dig it when those people are students from the University of Connecticut, just like us. It makes the Free Pressies feel all warm and fuzzy inside to see. So, the people over at ConnPIRG give us a great deal of the warm and fuzzies every day. ConnPIRG is a righteous organization of students, a Connecticut chapter of the larger PIRG organization. Some of the cool stuff they do includes voter registration: you probably saw them all over campus making it easy for students to register to vote (and in many cases: hard to not register). Theyre big about political involvement over there. We definitely like the idea of getting people engaged with their environment, and politics can be a good outlet for that. Of course, another notable campaign that you may have seen around campus is the Zero Waste program that ConnPIRG is working on. This is something theyve been working on at a state level as well. Theyve drafted a five-year plan to make the University of Connecticut a zero waste school. As in: using and re-using everything weve got. No waste into the ecosystem. Thats huge. Thats awesome. Thats really rad; and we dig it. So maybe you dig all of this stuff, too. Who doesnt like to see students engaged in their surroundings, politically, socially, and ecologically? Thats a trifecta of involvement. Well, it probably wouldnt surprise you then that the ConnPIRG chapter was at one point so big that it was granted Tier III status at the University of Connecticut. Yup, you read that correctly: was. Why past tense, you might ask? Well, Ill tell you. See, the cool thing about Tier III organizations is that they are funded by student fees. Every student pays Tier III organizations (we all have the option to opt out, but at a merely few dollars on top of ridiculous tuition costs, most people do not bother). Even at a few bucks per student, thats a lot of cash. So understandably, all Tier IIIs go through a regular audit every so often. Last year it was about that time for ConnPIRG to undergo their audit. The audit process came back in July with an overarching question the administration needed to answer does this group qualify as a fee funded group? And if they did qualify, there were some suggestions about minutes and more up to date documentation. It seemed innocent enough. But then, when the leaders of ConnPIRG returned to school the next semester, they were told by the Division of Student Affairs that they dont fit Tier III criteria as according to the audit, justified by their need for better minutes and more up to date documentation. Little fucked up, yea? Of course, these politically engaged students tried to appeal the decision. They didnt want their Tier III status revoked. The appeal was not given to them at first. Finally, after deliberating at length with the administration, they were granted an appeal to John Saddlemire; bane of all that is righteous. So that means that ConnPIRG got to appeal to the very same people who had stripped them of their status in the first place Yea, that seems really fair and impartial to us. (How well does sarcasm read in print form? You tell me). So ConnPIRG jumped through hoops for the admin. They provided all the documentation they could find. But it was completely unclear for them as to who needed to see this documentation. There was no clear chain of command. It was a complete clusterfuck of bureaucracy. Turns out, there is a set process for this all to happen, as set out by the Student Fee Advisory Committee. Surprise surprise, this process was not followed by the UConn Administration. ConnPIRG was given no written note of warning, no chance of rebuttal, and to top it off: they were never even put in contact with the Student Fee Advisory Committee. Not once. How could the admin take away student funding from a student organization without due process? Well, since this was all done through the audit process, apparently the entirety of the guidelines for the removal of student fees is thrown out. It becomes somewhat of a unilateral move by the Division of Student Affairs, one which strikes us as completely stacked against students. So there you have it. The division charged with bettering the student experience stripped away funding from one of the largest groups on campus that was actually fucking doing anything at all. All I can say is: Fuck. That. Noise.

WE RE HERE
Charles A. Conway

Driving down the road at a modest thirty-five miles an hour Chris and Emily are on their way to a vacation paradise. Emily had initially read about it in a pamphlet she found in a doctors office. She couldnt contain herself when she had indulged her mind with the plethora of relaxation opportunities this pamphlet discussed. Spas, incredible mountainous views, pools, yoga, and so much more were promised by the advertisement. She told Chris about it once she got home. He wasnt too thrilled about the idea at first but she knew how to work him over. They have golf, she told him. So here they are driving toward this promise land of fun for both him and her. There were several ways to get there as Chris discovered when he looked up directions to the resort. The first was pretty straightforward. It stuck to the main roads and had only a few turns. The second took an intricate weaving path though the middle of nowhere but promised an excellent view of the landscape. The couple, being the adventurous type, decided to take the latter. The road was more of a rough dirt path then a proper artery through the countryside, or even a capillary for that matter. It was filled with potholes and was eroding along the sides. The drive was rough but the view made it all worth it. A puddle sat in the road up ahead shimmering from the vibrations of their car. Little miniature waves crossed back and forth through the water breaking on opposite sides. Waves, which grew more and more intense as the car drew near. This view is so beautiful honey Im glad we took this way, said Emily. So am I. It offers one hell of a view, said Chris. Just be careful. This road is so rough. It would be easy to slip and get in an accident. This road? Ha! I think maybe it could have been called a road once, a long time ago. But that time is long over. Well just be careful. Relax honey. Were going to get there just fine, all safe and sound. A big splash sprayed up on the car throwing muddy water everywhere just as they took a left down a path completely unlike the roads they were used to. I dont know the whole way but I am pretty sure we were supposed to take a right there, said Emily. Ahh, crap. Yea, we definitely were, said Chris. Well turn around and go back then. Damn! Shit shit shit! Umm thats not going to be possible. This is a one way road. I dont care just turn around! I dont want to get lost. Emily, were not going to get lost. Itll be fine! Thats bull! Were completely lost. You just wont admit it. Just turn around and go back! We dont know where this road leads. What the hell do you want me to do? I cant turn around! Ahhh, I cant believe you could screw that up! It was a right! A freaking right! Not a left! A right! How much simpler can it get?

I cant believe you right now. What is wrong with you? It wasnt my fault, said Chris. Of course it was your fault! Youre the one driving! No, youre right it was the other guy in the drivers seat. Were only in our thirties Chris, were too young for this crap! Said Emily beginning to cry. Are we really going to get into this right now? Its going to be ok honey. It is all going to be ok. I just wanted everything to be perfect. This was supposed to be our perfect little getaway. Now were completely lost, cried Emily in hysterics. All roads lead to the same places eventually sweety. Some just take a different way. Some take longer and some are a little quicker. Well get to where we need to go. I promise. Its just going to be through a different path is all. I dont know. I just dont know if this is the road we were supposed to take. He couldnt keep his eyes off this girl. Every time he tried to look away he found himself looking back at her. They were sitting in the lounge area where many students went to get their homework done in between classes. She was on the couch across from him. He debated for a long time whether or not to say something to her while he pretended to get his homework done. He just couldnt concentrate on it. Finally the decision was made. Hey you working on history? asked Chris. Huh? Ah yea I am. My history teacher assigns so much homework. Im not sure how Im going to get it all done, she replied. Yea mine is like that too. I just take it one assignment at a time So what are you learning about? Ancient Rome. Oh yea, so am I. Its pretty interesting. I feel like every person who ever came into power in Rome was a psychopath who wound up murdered by someone. Hahaha yea it seems that way doesnt it? Yea it does, he said laughing. Soooo what are you doing later? Um I didnt have anything planned. She said. His heart was pounding preparing him for his next question. Would you like to go out somewhere? There was a pause then she looked up smiling. You dont even know my name yet. Oh of course ahh well Im Chris. Whats your name? Emily and yes I would like to go out with you later. The wind was blowing through their hair at an ever-increasing rate. They could see their destination up ahead. The landscape out here allowed a clear line of site for miles. The place they were looking for was out by the trees off in the distance. He couldnt quite tell where yet. It was still too far off. He decided he would figure it out when they got closer. See honey. Thats where we need to go. Way over there. It is like I said. All paths lead to the same places. They just take us different ways, said Chris. Hmmm, well see, said Emily. Im worried about our kids. Do you think they are going to be all right with out us? I am too. I hope they dont get into to much trouble, but yeah I think theyll be okay. Chris they cant last two hours with out us. Theyre only seven and nine years old and they are such rascals. I think the nanny is going to grow tired of taking care of them after the first day, two at the most. What were we thinking going on this vacation? Well it was your idea Emily. Now youre second guessing yourself?

I just want to know that our kids are going to be fine while were gone! Is that too much to ask? Believe me Emily I want to be as sure of it as you do but I think we should give them more credit. Theyll do fine. Theyre tough kids. We did a good job raising them. Ahhh, but Im going to miss them so much! So do I. We can go back and stop by if they need help or if we just want to see their smiling faces. We wont be going to far and the road that spans from the place were going to home is not one less traveled by, he said. Yea the main road. We take only main roads from now on! I hope that is abundantly clear Chris! Haha yea no more detours for us. We wouldnt want to get lost and wind up somewhere we dont want to be. There she is. My beautiful girl, he said. Here I am, she said smiling. So where are we going? Thats for me to know and you to find out. Hop in the car. Oh and wear this, he tossed a blindfold at her. What? Seriously? Oh yes. She put the blindfold on while he got behind the drivers seat. He drove for about ten or fifteen minutes while she remained in the dark as to their destination. When he stopped the car he instructed her to leave the blindfold on. He led her through a path and onto a rock. Ok, remove your blind fold. She let out a gasp immediately upon pulling it off. This is amazing. How did you find this place? They were about halfway up a mountain sitting on a large flat rock over looking a canyon. On the opposing side from them there was a waterfall at least a hundred feet high. The entire area was filled with lush green vegetation. And what is this? Do you have a little picnic set up for us? That I most certainly do. I have Champaign and I picked the fruit fresh from the mountainside. Awww this is so sweet. Thank you Chris. Its the least I could do for the most amazing women in the world. I love you so much. I am just so happy your mine. Chris youre going to make me cry I am crying! Go away. Haha, he giggled. Ill pour you a glass of Champaign. Thank you, she said while giving him a hug and accepting the glass. She was still teary eyed. After they had lain down on the towel eating fruit, drinking Champaign and enjoying the view for a short while he decided it was time. Stand up Emily. Okaaay? She questioned as she stood up. But he didnt stand with her. He rose only to his knee and presented a shiny little halo with a brilliant stone atop it. Marry me Emily Desaldo. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Yes I will! God I love you so much! Stand up and hold me Chris. I will forever and Ill never let go, he said as he stood up and embraced her. Their destination wasnt far off now. He could see the leaves on the trees. They blew back and forth casually awaiting Chriss and Emilys arrival. From what he could see it looked like the entrance would be in the grassy field in between the Oak and the Maple tree. I think we should slow down, she said. Yea probably. Weve sped up quite a bit from the thirty five we were doing earlier, he said grinning at her but he made no attempts to slow down. He knew she was kidding anyway. She never minded speed.

Do you think well like it where were going? Absolutely, this was supposed to be a wonderful vacation and that is exactly what it is going to be, a wonderful extended vacation. What do you think itll be like? It will be like everything we expected and more. Ok I believe you. I suppose. This wind is so over powering. I think the air must be thicker out here, she said. That is definitely a possibility. Though it could have something do with the fact that were going about a hundred miles an hour now. Trying to get there in a hurry you know, he said grinning. Whats all the rush? Were going to the most beautiful place we have ever seen, a complete paradise. Why not rush? Ha and to think I had to convince you to go to the resort. She said. Ok, so I am definitely anxious. I am not entirely sure what it is going to be like. I was just trying to cheer you up. Its the first time we will ever have been to a place like this. You know more about it then I do. You tell me what you think itll be like, he said. Hmm beautiful gardens, blue skies, and a warming guy that welcomes you in through large golden gates comes to mind. I guess well have to wait until we get there to know for sure. Sounds like the kind of place I want to go to. She let out a loud scream and squeezed his hand. Just a little more Mrs. Verona. Weve almost got it. Ahhhhhh, she let out another scream. Keep going, keep going. You can do this. Hang in there! You can do this honey! Come on! Chris offered his support. Shut the hell up!!! She yelled at him. Push dear. You have to push, came the nurses consultation. AHHHH Im trying! Just one more! AHHHH. Weve got it! Thats it! You did it! Reported the doctor. Emily let out a cry of relief. Its a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Verona. Were just going to clean him up and bring him right to you. Well save the medical tests for later after you two have gotten some time with him. After a moment the baby was cleaned up and brought to his adoring parents. Look at this little miracle, said Emily. We made one darn cute baby, Chris replied smiling down at their newborn son, Your so strong for going through that Emily. Do you have any name ideas yet? Asked a nurse. Emily and Chris looked at each other and at the same time replied Robert. Were almost there, he said. Yes I can see it, that little patch of grass in between the Oak and the Maple. Thats where it is, she said. Its not just a little patch of grass. Its so much more. We will just have to wait until we get there to see it. That much is obvious. But that patch of grass is definitely how we are getting there. Yes, an entrance fit for kings, he said. Remember that wrong turn we made? Yeah, Its a life time ago now dear. What were we doing when we made that wrong turn anyway? She asked. They thought back on it and recalled each others words. They were just driving down the road. On their way to the resort with not a care in the world. Admiring the wonderful view the cliff-side drive offered.

Just be careful. This road is so rough. It would be easy to slip and get in an accident, she said This road? Ha! I think maybe it could have been called a road once, a long time ago. But that time is long over, he said Well just be careful. Relax honey. Were going to get there just fine, all safe and sound. Then it all became so clear; the road, which had bent sharply to the right, the mountains that had towered above them on the passenger side, the sheer cliffs that had unforgivingly receded below the cloud line on the left, and the puddle. The puddle, which had lain there with such utter perfection. The elegantly small body of water, which had seen fit to collect itself right in the bend of the road. It had screamed at them will all the intention of a politician and yet sat there completely mute awaiting their cars arrival. It was the puddle thats why we turned left we slipped right off the cliff, he said. The puddleHuh, Oh yes. Well, it was just a turn anyway. Im not sure why we got so worked up about it. Me neither dear. It was a lifetime ago. Certainly no sense in worrying about it now. He glanced down at the grassy field. It was only a few seconds away now. You know what Chris? I dont think it was the wrong turn after all. I couldnt agree more. He smiled at her and stared deeply into her eyes as they glistened with sunlight. She looked back at him with equal intensity and at that moment nothing else mattered. It was right then that they finally truly knew everything was going to be all right. Were here my darling. I will love you for ever, he said. Their bodies slammed into the ground. The car from which they had been thrown out of in the initial chaos of it all, followed a moment later off to their right. The sudden reports echoed through out the cliffs. They landed right where they thought they would, in the grassy field in-between the two trees. As they laid there in silence the only motion came from their last tears running down their cheeks. Their eyes remained forever in each others gaze and true to the promise he made that day by the canyon his hand stayed clenched around hers. He never let go.

Why Religion is Killing Religion

BY Christopher Magro
I believe in God. I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross so that we can get into Heaven. I also, to some extent, believe in some creationism. But would I call myself religious? No. And the reason is simple: Religion killed religion for me. I was raised Catholic, and the more I attended Church, the more I didnt agree with it. Now, I do not hate the Church, nor do I hate religion. I really tried to embrace the Church, and I truly tried to embrace organized religion. But the more I thought about it, the less I agreed with. Here are the problems I have with religion: God gives unconditional, non-judgmental, neverending love to everyone. God commands us to love our enemies, and pray for them for they do not know what they are doing. Jesus Christ even hung out with criminals and sinners. But apparently there are conditions to unconditional love. The Ten Commandments. Sin. Hell. God gave us 10 specific actions he does not want us to do. If we do anything on that list (The Ten Commandments), according to the Catholic Church (which is the original Church), we have to confess

our wrongdoings to the priest (who is seen as God on Earth). These wrongdoings, sins, are seen as bad in Gods eye and will get you sent to Hell which is the opposite of Heaven. Now, if God is all-loving and non-judgmental, why does he deny those who sin to live with him? Shouldnt he love them just as much as those who do follow the Ten Commandments perfectly? Kind of seems to go against what the Church preaches about Gods love. And these commandments, and sin, dont these also undermine the idea that is Freewill? God gives us Freewill. He wants us to live life how we want itas long as it follows what he deems acceptable. Its kind of like me saying theres no such thing as an incorrect opinion as long as I agree with it. And speaking of freewill, what about this whole divine plan God has for us? Actually, just keep that in the back of your head. More on that later. Im not done with freewill. God gave us freewill, and God, and everything he does and create, is supposed to be perfect (this is what the church, and the bible, tell us). So, by doing what WE choose to do, that should be considered divine, or at least God should be okay with it. This freewill God gave us is supposed to be the proof that he is all loving and non-judgmental. I kill a baby: Its okay with God. I might get in trouble by the law and go to jail (and good-shit I should!), but I wont go to Hell. So, if God gave us freewill, why does he punish us for sinning or breaking one of the ten commandments? Doesnt that completely undermine our gift of freewill that GOD HIMSELF gave us? This would make more sense: theres no such thing as sin. Theres no such thing as Hell. The ten commandments are not rules but guidelines. They are basic moral principles for living a good life, and for treating others with compassion. You can choose to follow them, and you can also choose not to follow them. In the end your decision ultimately affects YOURSELF, so either way, God still loves you just as much as the day you were conceived. NOW well talk about the divine plan. Im not going to spend too long on this. But whenever something happens, good or bad, its Gods will, or God had this happen for a reason. Because, according to the church, God has a

plan for everything and everyone. So, everything happens for a reasonor supposed to happen for a reason. If everything happens for a reason, does that mean God meant for certain people to sin? It must mean that God meant for certain people to break the ten commandments. This, in turn, would mean that God meant for certain people to go to Hell. That doesnt seem like an all-loving and nonjudgmental God. No one treats another person like shit and completely ruins their life out of love. Another thing, how does freewill fit in with the divine plan? You can do whatever you please but its already pre-determined. I dont even feel like I need to explain this anymore. In short, I do not believe in the divine plan (I say I dont believe and not simply there is no because religion is all one big theorytheres no proving or disproving anything). Believing in the divine plan not only means that people do not have a choice in how they live their life, and that they rely on a higher authority telling them what to do, it also puts into question Gods love. Because yes, God is all loving and non-judgmental. He shows it by allowing us to make our own choices, whether it leads to good consequences or poor consequences. He allows us to take risks and suffer or enjoy the results of those risks. These decisions and consequences are how we grow as individuals, its how we learn. With freewill, well learn that speeding in a car is bad because it can seriously injure me. With the divine plan, well learn speeding in a car is bad because God didnt want me to do it. Which one will ultimately improve your life in the long run? Not the divine plan. And this is ultimately the goal of religion: To better people. What do all religions have in common? Whether its Buddhism, or Judaism, Christianity, or Muslim? They teach morals. They teach right from wrong. Unfortunately, the church, nor any other religion, does not teach morals from a moral perspective. They teach it from a punishment/ reward perspective, which DOES NOT WORK. This is what I was talking about before. You learn to not to do something simply because God doesnt want you to, and youll get punished. This doesnt explain WHY something is moral or immoral, it just tells you it is or is not. It completely discredits religion being a basis for learning morals and living a moral life. In fact, it will make any moral action you do have a selfish, immoral reason. If you help your neighbor out because it is the right thing to do and it is kind, then yes, that is completely moral. Yet, if you help your neighbor out because it will get you

into Heaven, then isnt that a pretty selfish reason? The bible teaches us to love thy neighbor, not yourself. So while the action might be considered moral, the reasoning is not. But, if you helped your neighbor because it is kind and the right thing to do, not only is the action moral, but the reason is moral as well. Similar to what I said before about sin and Hell, when it comes to God, there is no right or wrong; there is only moral and immoral. These are different. Right or wrong (at least to me) designates punishment/reward. If I want to do something that is considered wrong, Ill still do it because I think its okay and as long as I dont get caught, why do I care? But if what I want to do is immoral, and I was taught moral from immoral (as opposed to right from wrong), I would not do whatever it is I want to do because I know its wrong, and whether or not I get caught and punished is not even a part of the equation. Immoral verses moral, NOT wrong verses right. Everything I have just described center around the major criticism I have on the church and religion: control. It is hypocritical for the Church and the bible to preach how God gave us freewill, and then talk about sin and the divine plan. God loves each and every one of us. He loves Morgan Freeman just as much as he loves Adolf Hitler. He loves Mother Theresa just as much as he loves Osama Bin Laden. All of them, are either in Heaven, or (in Morgan Freemans case) will go to Heaven. God does not punish, nor does he reward. He just loves. In the beginning was the word, and that word was love and light. Infinite, unconditional, and without judgment.If the Church preached that, then I would start going again.

photo by Matt Knoecklein

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