DEC

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7 Signs of a Great Lover

Month-by-Month Plan to Better Finances He Said/She Said on Couples Devotionals Why Still Read Books?

A publication of On My Own Now Ministries, Inc.

GENUINE MOTIVATION Young Christian Man Feb 2013, Vol. 34 On My Own Now Ministries, Inc., Publisher Rob Beames, Editor Chandler Hunter with Donna Lee Schillinger, Page Design Kimberly M. Schluterman Editorial Support Contributors Shellie R. Warren, Will Dole, Thom Mollohan, Gwendolyn Anderson, Chandler Hunter, Rob Beames, Julie Ann Except where noted, content is copyright 2013 On My Own Now Ministries. Articles may be reprinted with credit to author, Genuine Motivation and www.OnMyOwnNow.com. On My Own Now Ministries, Inc. is a nonprofit organization with a 501 (c) (3) determination. Your donations aid in our mission to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults during their transition to living on their own. We welcome submissions of original or repurposed articles that are contributed without expectation of compensation. May God repay you. Visit us at www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

in this issue...
Foremost
by

The 7 Hallmarks of a Great Lover

Shellie R. WaRRen

z
.4 .8 .10 .12 .14 .16

Press on
by

Read Any Good Ones Lately?

Will Dole

can you relate

by

Pinpoints of Twinkling Flame

Thom mollohan

He Said/She Said: Whatever Is...

GWenDolyn anDeRSon ChanDleR hunTeR
by anD

the recaP

cornered
by

Am I My Brothers Keeper?
Rob beameS

by

Grace

Faith
by

A Month-by-Month Plan to Better Finances

Julie ann

and

Finance

I Cor. 13
(The Way I Would Say It)
I can speak in every language known to heaven and earth, but if I dont have love, its just a bunch of noise. And I can have prophetic powers, understand every mystery and know all there is to know; I can have faith that will actually move mountains, but if I dont have love, Im still a nobody. I can give away everything I own and even offer my body as a martyr, but if I dont have love, it would be a total loss. Love is patient and kind; it doesnt brag or get jealous; it isnt arrogant or rude. Love doesnt insist on getting its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it doesnt enjoy seeing things go wrong for others, but rejoices when things go right. Love puts up with everything; it always believes the best is possible, and hopes for it, and holds out for it. Love never ends. As for prophetic powers, ability to speak in different languages, knowledge of all sortsall of these will end. Because our prophecies and knowledge are just partialand flawed. But when perfection comes, everything that is flawed will end. When I was a child, I spoke, thought and reasoned like a child; but when I grew up, all that came to an end. At present, we can only see part of the truthit is like looking at someone in the reflection of a mirror. But when perfection comes, well be able to see the truth face-to-face and know others in the same perfect way God knows and understands us. But for now, we have these three: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love.

Foremost Foremost

The 7 Hallmarks of a Great Lover

by

Shellie R. WaRRen

here comes a time in the seekers life when he discovers that he is at once the lover and the beloved. ~Sri Chinmoy

The Word, which is Adonai (John 1:1), tells us It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35-NKJV), the operative word being more. One definition of more is additional or further. You take the blessing of receiving an additional step further when you give. Oh, but make no mistake about it: it is also a blessing to receive too (2 Corinthians 8:10-15-NCV). Recently, I was having a conversation with a wife who was praising her husband to me. When I asked her if she told him all that she said, she was like no. Heres the irony: They have been having trouble within their marriage because she doesnt feel like he acknowledges her efforts enough. Hmph. Amazing the things that we want people to do that we ourselves do not, isnt it? To be the lover is giving; to be the beloved is receiving. When you are seeking to find something within your relationship, you have to continually be committed to being the lover and the beloved: the more blessed giver and the blessed receiver.

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A true lover always feels in debt to the one he loves. ~Ralph W. Sockman
I dont even have a husband (yet); however, I get just where this quote is coming from. There are some people who have loved me so well, who have modeled love for me in such a consistent way, that I simply cant seem to find enough to do for them. I am indebted for the kind of love that they have bestowed upon me---constantly (constant is key). A debt is something that is owed, right? And look here: Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8-NKJV) Honestly, there are a lot of people in dysfunctional relationships because they are paying more than they owe; however, the Word does tell us that there is one thing that we do owe, that we are under divine obligation to pay and repay and that would be love; the I Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love. Therefore, you are not impressing God when you are patient with your lover. You owe it. You are not going to earn brownie points for being kind. You owe it. Enduring and not failing them does not make you exceptional. You owe it. Those are hard pills to swallow, yet no wonder the Spirit summed owing up with loving. Love is a big way to pay a debt that is always owed.

the consensual acts that I used to partake in. This reminds us that sex really is a human trinity (mind, body, spirit) experience and if all three are not on board, one way or another, the sex ship is gonna sink. When I Peter 3:7 says to dwell with your wife according to understanding, remember that one definition of is to grasp the significance, implications, or importance of, in this case, a person. When someone feels like their significance and importance are grasped, that within itself is pleasurable to the mind and spirit, which means that more times than not, the body will follow. After all, although Proverbs 23:7 is used totally out of context (its speaking specifically of a miser becoming what he thinks), yes, what we tend to think, we do become. When a woman thinks that shes important to a man, she tends to do what makes him feel important to her as well.

Faults are beauties in a lovers eye. ~Theocritus

I discern (Proverbs 2) that this is not speaking of a misdeed or transgression but more of an imperfection. Ive heard many marriage experts say that a good marriage is not just about loving one another but knowing if you can live with someone elses flaws. Cause heres the thing: A lot of people want someone to deal with their stuff but when it comes to someone elses issues, suddenly there is little tolerance. You know what that kind of mentality is called? Its called selfishness and the Word tells us this about that: Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (Philippians 2:3-NKJV) It is selfish and conceited to maximize someone elses imperfections while

It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. ~Marge Piercy
I havent even had marital sex (yet) and I know that sex gives pleasure. However, Ive also been molested. Ive been sexually assaulted. Im the survivor of date rape. Those instances were more traumatizing than pleasurable even though they, in large part, were the same as

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Foremost
minimizing your own and love is not selfish (I Corinthians 13:5-NCV). Seeing faults as beauty is really all about humbling yourself (Luke 14:11) enough to esteem your lover as being better than yourself. that he said was Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. (I Timothy 1:17-NKJV) One definition of eternal is without beginning or end; lasting forever; always existing. God is love and God is eternal. This means that love is eternal, which also means that love is without beginning or end, that it lasts forever and that its always existing. So, when you say that you love God and yet you are unwilling to work things out with your brother (in this case your lover), it would appear that while you may be in something, love would not be it. What this also reveals is that if you are truly a lover based on all of the definitions that apply to the word, then a manifestation of love---spiritually, mentally and sexually will also always exist.

Good lovers understand each other. Better lovers respect each other. Best lovers live to trust each other. Great lovers dwell in each other. ~Anuj Somany

Understanding leads to respect and respect leads to trust and trust leads to true dwelling. If you skip one of those, you will never achieve great lover status. That said, isnt it something that I Peter 3:7 tells us a man to dwell according to understanding with his wife and then Ephesians 5:33 tells a woman to respect her husband? If both people did what the Bible tells them to do, a mutual trust could be established that would make spouses want to dwell within each other. And dwell is a pretty big word. When you dwell, you reside. When you dwell, you continue in a given condition (Matthew 19:6). When you dwell, you (dig this!) linger over, emphasize, ponder in thought, speech and writing. Do you actually dwell in your lover? The definitions of the word will let you know one way or another.

Lovers dont finally meet somewhere. Theyre in each other all along. ~Rumi
While I do think there is something to be said for soul mates (remember that the only time that its really referenced in the Word is between David and Jonathan: two friends, so you need to be friends first to have a spouse who is a soul mate-I Samuel 18:3), Im led to take this a different direction. Not too long ago, a friend of mine was trying to break down in love to me. According to him, being in love is like a journey of peaks and valleys with someone in the sense that sometimes your feelings are so full that you find yourself in love. OK, I get that. However, I personally have struggled with that prepositional phrase for quite some time and that answer didnt really scratch my itch. I think its because I hear so many people say, I mean, I love you but Im not in love with you. Youre patient with me, but not *in patience* (LOL)? I dont get. Oh, but I get it today, though: For the

He is not a lover who does not love forever. ~Euripides

When will we learn to respect love more? I John 4:8&16 tells us that God is love. I John 4:20 takes it a step further by saying that if we say that we love God but we hate our brother, we are liars. I have shared before that one definition of hate is to be unwilling. Now lets put all of this together. When the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, one of the things

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kingdom of God is not in word but in power. What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness? (I Corinthians 4:20-21-NKJV) While there are different forms of love (and appropriately so, I might add), when youre in love with someone, I like how the Word clarifies. When Im in love, Im in the space, in the period of time, in the condition (all of which are definitions of in) to love a person and one clear way that it will manifest is that I will be gentle with them. When you are truly in love with someone you are gentle with that individual. When youre gentle, youre kind. When youre gentle, youre not severe, rough, or violent; mild. When youre gentle, youre gradual. Gentle lovers love gently. This would include sexually. A verse that I have come to adore is You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your gentleness has made me great. (2 Samuel 22:36-NKJV) The charismatic movement of the Church loves to talk about being full of the Holy Spirit. Uhhuh. Lets remember what the Fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23) If you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, there is some gentleness there and when were gentle towards people (Philippians 4:5), it helps to bring forth greatness in them (God is quite fond of a quiet and gentle spirit-I Peter 3:4). Indeed, a little gentleness goes a long way and when youre in love, gentleness will prove it. This is a pretty powerful message...if you allow it to be. Here is just one more word that deserves far more honor than it gets. A lot of people are not getting good lovin because being a good lover has not been a priority.

article

This world is too crazy to not partake of Gods pleasure. A lover is to be a pleasurable experience---mind, body and spirit. Heres to 2013 being The Year of Being a Great Lover. For the married folks, a daily goal. For the singles, an incomparable standard. I belong to my lover, and my lover belongs to me.---Song of Solomon 6:3(NCV) LChayim! Shellie R. Warren/2012 Shellie R. Warren is a single woman who is passionate about all things covenant. As the author of two books, she is also a (pre) marriage counselor, doula and a speaker with X3Church, a ministry for sex addiction. One of her favorite projects is heading up the On Fire Fast Movement, a blog for single women who desire marital covenant.

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Press On

Read Any Good Ones Lately?

by

Will Dole

he written word may be going by So, wouldnt it make more sense to stick the wayside as the latest technol- to the Bible and forget all this other readogy tantalizes the eyes of view- ing and verifying? It would be less work, ers through high-definition images at ev- anyway. ery turn. It seems reading black words Lets look at the rationale for reading on a white page is becoming a bore to a good books that is particularly applicable growing generation of young men de- to young men. siring increased visual stimulation. First of all, reading introduces ideas Ever stop and think what would happen from outside our own head. Proverbs 14:12 to the world, if peopleespecially Chris- tells us that, There is a way that seems tian men called to leadquit reading? right to a man, but in the end it leads to What would happen to our little piece of death. This means that depending merely the world if we became apathetic about on our own thoughts will not serve well reading? in the long run, even if they are thoughts Whether we are responsible for a na- about the Bible. tion, church, family, small group or conOur natural tendency is to become set in tingent of loved ones and friends, as men, our ways, insulating ourselves from both we need to always be reading good books. criticism and those who may disagree with Of course, we can never read too much of us. If we allow this to happen, our minds Gods Word, but outside of that we also will not be sufficiently challenged. If we need to read books which encourage us to remain unchallenged, we can become blind hold fast to the sufficiency of Christs sacri- to our own sin and ignorant to our own fice, move us to trust errors which could in God alone and It seems reading black words lead to a hardened remind us to live by heart incapable of on a white page is becoming a being corrected. faith alone. Does this oppose However, reading our acceptance of bore to a growing generation good biblical conscripture alone to be of young men desiring increased tent can combat our rule of faith and this natural sinful life? tendency we have visual stimulation. Not at all. Part of toward a selfish and our Berean responsibility and privilege is callous heart. to diligently examine Scripture to see if Reading what other authors have to say what we are reading from someone else is pays off because since they dont know us true (Acts 17:11). We are enabled to do this personally, they are not writing for our apthrough the Holy Spirit, Who has been giv- proval. They write to espouse what they en to guide us into all truth (John 16:13). believe to be correct, and their opinion will

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occasionally, or perhaps often, contradict our own. This forces us to interact with concepts with which we do not agree. We then, return to Scripture viewing it in a new light. We study Gods Word to see how it applies. Our ideas, thoughts and opinions may be changed in the process, and as long as we arent changing the core beliefs of the gospel of Christ, that can be a good thing and part of Gods sanctification process to make us more and more like His Son. Theres another reason we should read a lot. Reading fights the Laodicean Principal. It keeps us from becoming lukewarm, lazy or lethargic. Reading spurs. It jabs. It pokes and prods. How easy it is for us to become lax in our faith? For example, we might assume that because we arent having sex outside marriage, doing drugs or havent killed anyone lately that somehow were alright. We can quickly begin to think we dont need the mercy of God. We may think we are healthy and have no need of a doctor, forgetting the very purpose of Christ, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2:17). How utterly wrong we are! We need others to gently expose the fallacies we embrace which subconsciously elevate our works and subtly diminish the gift of perfection we have received from God through faith in Christ. We need voices from outside to call us out, to illuminate blind spots and point out unseen weaknesses. It has been said that it is not books that change lives, but sentences. For example, a teacher may need to communicate only a few points during a lecture, yet the all other information provided within the session is often vital for our ability to fully understand those main points. For example, in his fictional work, The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis describes a sinister demon who instructs a lesser demon on how to draw a Christian away from God. The striking point Lewis makes is

how often the regular, mundane and even good things of life can pull our attention away from God. Its easy to intellectually agree with this grave possibility, but when we allow ourselves to ponder the idea and soak in the creative ways Lewis communicates this thought over the course of the hours, days, weeks or however long it takes for us to complete reading the book, we may find that we are motivated enough to take the necessary action to avoid such a regrettable demise. Thats much better than just understanding the main point. So, we should read. We need to read the Bible over and over. Once a strong foundation is built on His gospel of grace and the person of Christ is well known, then we can start reading books that come from trusted sources with trusted theologies. After we cut our teeth on works such as these, we should branch out to fiction and other views which we not so readily embrace. We can grab a book like Mortimer Adlers How to Read a Book, if needed. Read for 15 minutes per day in bite-sized chunks that we can easily digest as we begin to gain speed. Read for hours at a time, if possible, just make sure to read! Still dont know where to start? Heres a short list of books that helped me: The Prodigal God by Tim Kellera new look at the most famous parable, maybe even at Christianity, itself. The Holiness of God by RC Sproulexposes the radical nature of sin in light of the Holy God it offends. Dont Waste Your Life by John Pipera call to something more than just exist in this life. Basic Christianity by John Stotta clear explanation and defense of Christianity. Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshearsa topical summary of biblical teachings, easy to read and very helpful.

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can you relate

Pinpoints of Twinkling Flame

by

Thom mollohan
s winter quickly steals the stage and the black velvet of night rolls in early each February evening, one may look up and see the glittering hosts of celestial bodies sparkling overhead. As what appear to be tiny pin points of flame twinkle down from the vault of heaven arching across the endless sky, we know indeed that each is actually a blazing ball of flame and fire. Although we may also know that such light and heat is the result of colossal explosions and fusions, and that each blazing furnace in the sky functions similarly to the others, still the glory of any one star that we behold is inconceivable, whether we spin about it in orbit or merely observe its light from millions of light-years away. Each star is uniquely created with unique position and unique purpose in the sky through which it sails in apparent perpetual journey. No two stars are identical, neither in their actual mass, nor in the way they illuminate other unique objects.

God said, Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth. And it was so. And God made the two great lightsthe greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the nightand the stars. And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:14-18 ESV). Just as these cosmic lampposts are each fashioned by a divine hand and appointed their own stellar duties, so each man and woman, boy and girl is uniquely created and positioned in this more temporal existence by that same hand. And since we know that Psalm 147:4 says, He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name, we affirm that our lives are

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equally deliberate and that we have a legitimate place in His universe accompanied with a unique purpose. When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for Him? Yet You have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet (Psalm 8:3-6 ESV). The light of each of our lives is not hidden from His eternal eyes. We each matter a great deal in the grand scheme of His eternal plans! Though we may often feel lost in our responsibilities, our problems or our sins, we are not lost in the crowd of over six billion other people on this earth. We are known to Him by name. Although Christmas is now a distant point in our rearview mirror, every night we take the time to look up to all the starry hosts that He has spread across His heavenly canvas, we remember that one single light that would transcend the luminance of all the others, heralding the arrival of the chosen One. This One among all the hosts of earth would transcend the luminance of all other earthly and spiritual beings! After Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, Where is He Who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw His star in when it rose and have come to worship Him (Matthew 2:1-2 ESV). Greeting the tiny Messiah on the behalf of humanity with gifts of gold, incense and myrrh, these three men followed the light of that spectacular star from the lands of the East fulfilling their God-given destinies. If any would be wise today, they also turn to the eternal light of Jesus that shines in the darkness of our broken world, and by following it, fulfill the destiny that God has prepared for them. Let us each then choose to receive the forgiveness of sins and eternal life through faith in Christ. Through Him we become as lights shining with a spark of hope, joy and love in the dark, winter sky of a world that is shrouded in

selfishness! So as Philippians 2:14-16 says, Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the Word of life (ESV). May we avoid the trap of becoming bitter and self-absorbed like a star that collapses in upon itself. Black holes shed no light or warmth but greedily suck in all life and heat, hording such good things inside themselves incapable of shining any longer. Souls that implode in this way, whether due to bitterness or selfishness, are useless in any spiritual sense as they offer nothing to those around them except an insatiable hunger for something they arent willing to receive: Gods unconditional love. Lets choose instead the destiny that God has chosen for us. As Jesus said, You are the light of the world. Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father Who is in heaven (Matthew 5:14, 16 ESV). If well receive the freedom that Christ offers us through genuine faith in His work of atonement on the cross of Calvary, we will shine like stars indeed!
Thom Mollohan and his family have ministered in southern Ohio the past 16 years and is the author of The Fairy Tale Parables and Crimson Harvest. He is the pastor of Pathway Community Church and may be reached for comments or questions by email at pastorthom@pathwaygallipolis. com.

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the recaP

He Said/SHe Said
High school sweethearts Gwendolyn Anderson and Chandler Hunter review in tandem Whatever Is...: A Couples Devotional for Christian Dating in a Secular World by Ryan C. Vet.

wendolyn: Chandler and I are working through Ryan C. Vets book, Whatever Is , an eight-week couples devotional which Vet wrote for dating couples who are seriously pursuing a relationship with Christ as well. It is based on Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. The focus of the book is to bring couples closer to God by directing their attentions to whatever is good in Gods sight and by learning to successfully date within Gods perfect parameters. Chandler: This nearly ninety-paged devotional is broken up into nine chapters, seven of which are studies focused on the seven types of things Paul commands us to think about in Philippians 4:8. For example, chapter three is titled, Whatever is True, and consists of passages of Scripture regarding the importance of truth and honesty and a short study of what it means to live truthfully. Each chapter, excluding the introduction, is broken up into five sections: Alone with God, Together before God, Prayer Points, Application and Memorization. My favorite out of these so far has been Together before God, where

difficult but necessary questions are asked and honestly answered face-to-face between partners. I also enjoy the Memorization sections, which I consider to be an aspect of following Christ that is too often overlooked, but is brought about in a practical way by Ryan. Gwendolyn: Finding the time to sit down and make time for God seems almost impractical. Weve got a hundred other things going on around us, things to do, and people who want our attention. Unfortunately, these are all things that keep us from doing what we really need to do. Although making time for these kinds of devotionals seems unrealistic, it is extremely important to spend time with your partner in Gods word, studying, talking and learning together. Chandler: Its hard enough finding time other than Sunday morning or Wednesday night to invest in godly things, especially for an eightweek period with two people fully involved. However, with the right amount of dedication, any couple looking for a way to share their journey with Christ would find working through Vets devotional rewarding. In the third study, Whatever is Noble, one of the

t
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There definitely have been some questions that have made me uncomfortable to answer honestly, but I appreciate that.
main ideas is treating one another respectfully, but to the extent that the relationship is respectful to family and God, not just the two people directly involved. The idea of showing respect for Gwens family by how I treat and think about her is not a completely new idea, but prior to going through that study wasnt something I held in as high of importance as I do now. There have been multiple instances where an idea has been brought to a higher place of importance in my mind because of its focus in the book, and I can see many more new and important ideas coming to light in the coming studies. Gwendolyn: The questions Vet asks are much deeper and personal than most couples would reach in normal conversation. They are specific and help strengthen the relationship because they are about things that you wouldnt talk about otherwise or with anyone else. Part of growing as a couple is understanding the way the other thinks; and Vets topics certainly make you think. While he digs deep into the two-sided relationship asking questions such as, Is there anything that you have not told me that I should know that could affect our relationship?, he also incorporates questions that ask about the threeway relationship between the two and God. For instance, Do you feel that being in a relationship has helped you grow in your walk with Christ? I cant say I would have ever asked this without the book, but it was really helpful for life in the threeway relationship. Chandler: There definitely have been some questions that have made me uncomfortable to answer honestly, but I appreciate that. This devotional brings up very important and necessary

things to discuss for couples wanting to get to know each other and God on a deeper level. The majority of the topics have been new and challenging questions that I have never come across until reading this book. Whatever Is...: A Couples Devotional for Christian Dating in a Secular World by Ryan C. Vet. 90 pp. $14.98 on Amazon; $8.99 in Kindle

noble, whatever is right, whatever whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things." Philippians 4:8 is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is true, whatever is

"Finally, brothers and sisters,

Chandler Hunter and Gwendolyn Anderson are counting down the days to high school graduation. Both plan to attend John Brown University.

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by

Grace

Am I My Brothers Keeper?
by

Rob beameS

in was officially here to stay when Cain pulled off the first murder in history, using deception and lies to kill his brother. God shortly intervened after the deed and asked, Where is your brother Abel? I dont know, he replied. Am I my brothers keeper? (Genesis 4:8-10). If the answer to that question wasnt completely obvious, it was later explained in detail by Jesus saying, I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, Raca, is answerable

to the court. And anyone who says, You fool! will be in danger of the fire of hell (Matthew 5:22). So, of course, Cain was his brothers keeper and so are we. Not only are we not to kill our brothers, we are to love them unconditionally as did Jesus, A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34). Its clear that we not only have an obligation to the male members of our biological family, but to anyone who is spiritually related to us through Christ, and given the rest of Scripture, we have no right to limit the recipients of our love, kindness and mercy.

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However, we dont have to feel the burn of guilt because we dont do this very well. At least, not for long. Christ took care of all of our guilt, but we should seize the opportunity to love our brother whenever possible due to the massive love shown to us by the same act of Jesus which wiped away our guilt. Its our calling and privilege, By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35). In his book The Prodigal God, Tim Keller brings a unique insight to the most famous parable Jesus told. It forces us to evaluate whether our hearts currently resonate with the younger son or with the elder brother. Keller asks who it was that sought after the younger, prodigal brother, and similarly, the lost sheep and the lost coin in the two parables preceding this one. Although we know it is the father who runs to meet the younger son as he returns, Keller rightly points out that the older brother should have risked everything to go out and bring his brother back home where he always belonged regardless of what was said or done. But instead, the elder son breeds a heart of self-righteousness as he compares his actions, which have the appearance of responsibility, to the foolishness of his brother. The elder brother begins to feel that he has earned the love of his father by his loyalty and diligent efforts, while his idiot brother has traded all that he had for the love of prostitutes. It is easy to relate to the older brother and his objections, living in our reward-based society. The older brother is exposed for providing the appearance of service, love and devotion only to get what he believes is coming to him for his hard work. The point of the story is that neither brother returned the fathers love and generosity: neither by outward rebellion nor by self-serving motives cloaked as righteousness. The one showed he didnt love the father because he demanded what he wanted from him. The other proved his heart was essentially of the same composition by his secrete expectancy to be rewarded with that which he dare not ask of his father. So, we know we shouldnt kill our brother. Thats usually doable, but what keeps us from loving our little brothers who openly spit in the face of Christ or who might show contempt for Gods rule and authority? What stops us from showing compassion to our big brothers who have born the weight of doing the right thing every day, but in their pride curse God when things dont go their way? How do we avoid condemning ourselves when we fall into either of these extremes?

With the clear direction to be our brothers and sisters keeper, theres only one way we can be motivated to show love to hearts shackled by the grip of following after something which isnt God. Over and over again, God beckons His sons and daughters to come back home to him. We are told to taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him (Psalm 34:8). We can always expect a consistent and lavish response from the Father. No matter how far our efforts to run away from home have taken us or how long our journey has kept us away, our Father speaks to us with kind words, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness (Jeremiah 31:3). The fear of losing our inheritance will only move us to action for so long. Guilt over the many ways we have failed God and others is a powerful motive for repentance, but can quickly become a burden too heavy for us to carry. If these are the only things which motivate us, perhaps we need to let God love us a little more, find His compassion at a greater depth and discover His grace for a longer time. Whenever we struggle with these conditions of the heart, we should allow him to convince us of His deep love directed toward us. Whenever we feel that God is unfair to us, we should allow Him to remind us how ridiculously wrong that is. He is so good to us even while we are miles away from home, face down in the pig slop. He continues to love us although while we grudgingly go through the motions, taking for granted the great privilege of being near him and possessing everything He has. In the end we will respond with genuine motivations by His grace as we focus, not on our perceived worthiness to be loved, nor on the worthless identity we used to have in our sin, but rather on His unconditional, indescribable goodness and love for us. (I believe He wanted me to remind you of this.)

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F aith

and

F inance

A Month-byMonth Plan to Better Finances

by

Julie ann

heres no better time than the beginning of a new year to take a good look at your finances and make a money plan for the next, well, eleven months. Here are 11 easy steps, one for each month, to help you save money and manage your financial life. Tackle each of these challenges and watch your savings grow and debt shrink. The first thing you should do to ensure your financial health in 2013 is to prepare your budget for the year. This includes charting your income and expenses, developing a filing system for important financial documents and receipts and planning for unexpected financial obstacles. A few hours of planning now will serve as a helpful roadmap for the remainder of the year. February: During February we celebrate love and remember some of our greatest presidents. In order to honor the presidents this month I suggest that you start saving them. Pay cash for as much as possible (always a good practice

anyway), and then when you receive change, save it. To build the savings quicker, stash your Lincolns (aka, five dollars bills), but even good old George Washingtons will make an impact when done consistently. Budget too tight to save paper? You can still save coins and bank them at the end of each month. Putting away just six five-dollar bills each month will net $360 by time you ring in 2014. March: The first day of spring will arrive during March and that means its time for spring cleaning. Its the perfect time to pull things out of your closet and storage spaces that you no longer need and sell to others. This may mean hosting a garage sale or posting items on an online auction site. Your challenge is to get rid of what you no longer need and earn a little pocket change in the process. April: Now that youve eliminated some physical clutter, thing about some other things you could eliminate from your budget. Perhaps you

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could cut off your cable or landline? What about eliminating your coffee, bottled water or vending machine habit? Are you paying for memberships you dont use? Take some time this month to examine your life and see what you could do to free up extra cash. May: One challenge I like is to see how low I can get my electricity bill to go. This involves adjusting the heat or A/C a few degrees, shutting off the lights as much as possible, using a clothes line instead of a dryer and unplugging all appliances when not in use. Start these practices now and then monitor your bill to see how low you can go for the rest of the year. June: If youve completed each money challenge so far, congratulations! You are almost halfway there! June is a great time to re-evaluate your budget and adjust based on how your year has gone. Did you get a raise or unexpected money? Maybe you are still stashing your spare change and want to increase your savings. Maybe youve run into some unanticipated expenses. Take a few minutes to run a financial check-up and ensure you are still on the right track. July: July is about celebrating our American independence. This month your challenge is to focus on your financial independence by paying down debt. Use some of the money youve saved thus far by paying extra towards debt. Maybe you can pay $100 extra on your car payment or student loan or pay off that last bit on your credit card and then cut it up in a celebratory act. This will put you a few steps closer to a life without those pesky loan bills and even peskier high interest rates. August: One of my favorite things to do in the summer is read by the pool, so thats your challenge this month (or by the beach, in the park, etc.) Oh, Im not taking about that latest best seller, but a finance book or magazine. One of the best ways to control your budget, grow savings and live in financial freedom is to understand how these things work. Ask a friend or run an Internet search for suggestions, and then swing by your local library. It may not always be the most entertaining read, but I guarantee that

if you follow through on this challenge, youll be financially smarter. September: Your challenge for September is to throw a party! Not just any old party but a swap party. Invite all your friends to bring movies, games, gadgets, clothes, etc., that they would like to part with. Everyone can leave what they dont need and take any items that they do need. Anything that is unclaimed at the end of the party can be donated to a charity, thrift store or consignment shop. October: As we head into the holiday season, get serious about list-making and doing research before shopping. Make a rule to not purchase anything that isnt written on your shopping list. Its the impulse purchases that can really poke holes in your budget. Also, take time to compare the prices of your frequently purchased items to find the best store, use smartphone apps to check the costs at other stores and online and be aware of what constitutes a good deal. November: November falls right in the middle of the holiday eating season with the climax a day devoted to feasting. In November your challenge is to fast. Oh, dont worry; you can still enjoy your turkey and pumpkin pie! Im talking about a financial fast. This is a perfect month to fast from things like buying clothing, entertainment items or shoes. Take your greatest money spending temptation and fast from ityoull probably get double of it next month anyway! December: Congratulations if youve made it this far and have successfully completed every challenge. There is just one more and hopefully its fun and easy: Learn a new skill that will help you save money. Maybe you change your own oil or learn to do some computer maintenance youve paid for in the past. Maybe you could follow through on some of those do-it-yourself projects youve liked on Pinterest. The possibilities are limitless. Just pick something that you would enjoy and that could be useful and will result in savings.

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