FERTiLiTy ROAd

LETTER FROM THE HEART

Infertility can cause a great deal of emotional distress to both women and men. From a man's perspective it can be incredibly painful to watch your wife struggling both physically and emotionally. In this issue, we hear from Josh who explains how he, with his wife, faced infertility head on, and ultimately becoming a proud Dad himself.

general surgery was performed, in which her tubes, large fibroids and endo were removed. Success!! She spent five days in the hospital and six weeks at home recovering. Following her recovery, Dr. Werlin immediately started a mock trial. And in April 2009, we began the first of three cycles.

Joshs Story
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remember that fateful day back in 2005 when my wife, Veronica, and I were sitting in a run-down medical office in hot Arizona, waiting for the results of an HSG test. The results would determine whether Veronica could have kids or not. The obstetrician walked in. He said hello. He walked over to Veronica, stood directly in front of her and looked in her in the eyes. His face was rather sour and had defeat written all over it. Without skipping a beat he said, "I'm going to get to the point. The test results show that your tubes are clogged which means you cannot have children." He grabbed her right-hand and placed his other hand on her left shoulder. I stood on the other side her holding her other hand in mine. She already had tears in her eyes before the appointment so hearing these words broke her. (Clearing my throat right now) This is an image I have in my mind that I presume will last a lifetime.

Adversity at every corner

The appointment with what I know as a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) ended before it started. After seeing her history and having us attend several appointments he declined us as patients. I guess we would have ruined his success rates. At this time we lived in Arizona. We were there because of a house we purchased in 2004, but as we embarked on the IVF journey we believed it was best to head back to California, so we did. We met with a highly referred RE and were encouraged after the first appointment. The RE reviewed Veronica's history prior to the appointment and pointed out the severity of her endo. Still, he accepted us as patients. Hearing this made us enthusiastic. But, as fate would have it, he retired.

and thousands of dollars with an RE who forgot about us. Again, the firestorm of tears, wailing of arms and curse words filled our car following the appointment. Sitting in the car with the engine off, I found myself back in the same situation when we were told when we couldnt have kids.

A clinic to the rescue

That very day Veronica let out all the tears and screams she could. She picked up her cell phone, typed IVF clinics in Google and made two phone calls to infertility clinics. She said the first one to call back is the one were going with. Later that day, Coastal Fertility in Irvine California responded first with a voicemail. Within minutes, we were scheduled for an appointment. Our first appointment with Coastal Fertility

Fatherhood is upon me
We encountered IVF failure twice. We thought of giving up after receiving a phone call from Dr. Werlin following the second failed IVF cycle. With doubt swirling in our minds, we turned to family for comfort. Seeing the devastation in Veronicas eyes, one of her cousins boldly stepped up and offered to carry for us. We accepted her offer and the rest is history. On March 2, 2012, my air and water as I like to call them were born. Twins; a boy and a girl. Jude and Gianna. Theyre miracles of miracles and the closest thing to God Ill ever know in the flesh. I cannot repay Veronicas cousin for sacrificing her body and time for the desires of someone else. Her reward is surely coming from the almighty. It took seven years, many appointments and over $100k to have my air and water. It took every ounce of faith and strength to persevere through adversity that seemed to find our front door. This journey troubled our hearts, turned my wife and me against each other and even made us question our faith in God. In the end, Im humbled to be standing here today, writing this letter for all mothers-to-be and fathers-to-be. I leave with this: Each day I wake, I see my dream and know they are the dream of others. In this, I will never cease inspiring other brothers and sisters who yearn for a child. Believe as if here. Dream as if real. Never give in. Never give up.

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What to do now?

heart

I didn't believe him. I asked him if he was certain, to which he replied, "Yes." I than asked the doctor what do we do now. He finished talking to Veronica, trying to console her. He let her know that everything was going to be alright. In between breaths, he recommended the name of a local doctor in the field of reproductive medicine. As she continued crying, I grabbed a tissue, wiped away her tears and whispered in her ear that we had to leave. As I walked back to our car and to the drivers side, I began hearing, "Why me?!" It was Veronica. She was raising her hands to the skies, pounding her fists on the dashboard and cursing. The make-up she meticulously applied before the appointment was now running down her face, as tears gushed from her eyes. I sat there motionless. My mouth opened from time to time but words couldnt find their way out. I just listened to her scream and cry. I tried to put my hand on her neck to let her know I was there but she retracted, flinging her head forward. I get teary eyed writing this because it makes me relive that point in time. Hearing the news that kids werent a possibility sucked the life out of her. All she ever wanted to be was a mother and now, that right was taken from her. Weeks passed before I called the Fertility Doctor recommended to us by her OB/GYN. I thought, "Maybe he can help?

Each day I wake, I see my dream and know they are the dream of others. In this, I will never cease inspiring other brothers and sisters who yearn for a child. Believe as if here. Dream as if real. Never give in. Never give up.
So, we picked ourselves up and found another RE. Like before, we went through the motions and he accepted us as patients. His recommended surgery was to remove endo and fibroids but Veronica decided against that and opted for medication called Lupron. She endured Lupron injections for a year and at a regular checkup the RE asked, I know you dont want surgery, but did you want to start Lupron injections? What?! As you could imagine, Veronica was distraught. We wasted a whole year featured an Albert Einstein look-alike doctor by the name of Lawrence Werlin. I prepared myself for his spiel about how bad Veronicas condition was, but Dr. Werlin was different. He listened to our concerns and didnt blink an eye at Veronicas severe case of endo. He reassured us that he was going to do his best to make our dreams of parenthood come true. At that same appointment he ordered a Laparoscopic (lapo) surgery to verify what he read in her charts was accurate. The lapo was unsuccessful because of scar tissue so

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| WWW.FERTILITYROAD.COM | WINTER 2012 /2013

WINTER 2012 /2013 | WWW.FERTILITYROAD.COM |

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