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THE PIONEER LOG FEATURES

FEBRUARY 8, 2013

From Pixar to Provence

BY KEVIN RYAN
STAFF WRITER
PHOTO BY KEVIN RYAN

Dear virgins
Dear Virgins, How do you begin hard relationship (State of the Union) conversations with the person you are dating? I have been seeing this girl for three weeks, and I am not sure if we are together or what, and I dont know how to ask. Sincerely, In A Relationship? Dear In A Relationship?, OMFG. How am I supposed to know? I can barely manage the Is this a date? question. By barely I mean I cannot handle that question. I never ask that question. After I hang out with a smart, sexy, queer, single girl I go home and over-analyze everything she said or did during our time together in order to surmise her motives. Even if the girl is smokin hot, I tend to come o as friendly, but uninterested. My policy in all life situations is to never allude to the fact that I am even vaguely interested in sex or a romantic relationship. You may not know this about me, given my apparent openness in this column (yall remember, this shit is semi-anonymous), but in person I strive to maintain an image that is as sexless as possible. But for real. If a friend texts me that she loves me, and I dont feel like I love her, I will usually respond with something like, Yah, luv u 2! which I view as a very non-committal and misleading phrase given its lack of correct grammar and spelling. Shit is complicated. Real life. Sincerely, Gay Lady Virgin Dear In a Relationship?, ey say that communication is key, and I would like to think that in a relationship I would follow this advice to a tee. If I was uncertain about the status of my relationship, I would sit down with the boy in question and ask outright, What are we doing here? If we had to pick a relationship status for Facebook right now, what would it be? at is what any healthy, independent and con dent individual would do. But this is where we are kidding ourselves. If you were a healthy, independent and con dent individual when it came to relationships, you would not be seeking the advice of an advice columnist in a student newspaper. Furthermore, if I were a healthy, independent and con dent individual, then I would not be providing misguided and cynical answers to relationship questions posed by college students. Given the situation, my best advice would be to come at this question from the side. Bring up friends relationships or ctional relationships in conversation and pay attention to how this girl reacts. If possible, watch movies or television shows with romantic plot lines together (so, most of them would work) and pay attention to how she acts during scenes involving confessions of love. If she scoots closer to you and squeezes your hand, then you are golden. If not, that isnt necessarily bad. She could be just as confused and uncomfortable as you are. If you are braver than I am, just go for it and ask. But if you are as awkward and analytical as I am, then sweat it out until she gives you some kind of sign, like introducing you as her gf/bf or inviting you to leave a toothbrush at her house. Good luck! Straight Lady

How to make the real ratatouille

Everybody knows it from the popular Pixar movie, but does anyone actually know how to make a ratatouille, or even know what it is? Until recently, ratatouille has been largely unknown, living out its existence mainly in the kitchens of Provence in the south of France. is is not, and probably was never intended to be, a fancy dish served in restaurants. Like many dishes originating in Provence, ratatouille was born out of necessity. e question, What do I do with this mlange of vegetables? is a fairly typical one in cultures where people have to live on the food they have immediately available. Fortunately for the world of food, that question has generated some of the best dishes known to man. It is from this tradition that ratatouille was born. Ratatouille is a Provenal vegetable stew made with onions, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and zucchini. ere is also an herbal element, usually basil or marjoram. Traditionally, everything is stewed together in a large pot for about an hour, at which point it has a particularly mushy consistency. I prefer an updated, fresher version, where the vegetables really get the spotlight, but it still feels and tastes like a hearty Provenal stew. e version of ratatouille from the Pixar movie is noticeably di erent from the traditional method as well, and is actually a con t byaldi created by omas Keller. Although that version looks pretty, its a real pain to actually make. is streamlined ratatouille preserves all of the great avor and saves on time and e ort. Ingredients: -28 oz. can diced tomatoes -5 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced -1 onion, nely diced -1 eggplant, nely diced -2 zucchini, nely diced -1 green bell pepper, nely diced -1 red bell pepper, nely diced -12 large basil leaves, chopped -olive oil -kosher salt -black pepper -herbes de Provence Method: In a large saucepan over medium heat, add some olive oil and then the onions. Cook for about ve minutes, until the onions are translucent. Add the garlic and some salt and cook for another minute. Add the can of tomatoes along with some pepper and herbes de Provence. Reduce to a simmer, stirring occasionally and crushing some of the tomatoes against the side of the pot. Spread the diced eggplant out on a paper towel and salt liberally. Let sit for at least 15 minutes, then pat dry with paper towels. In a skillet over medium-high heat, add some olive oil, then add the eggplant and zucchini. As they cook, add some salt, pepper and herbes de Provence. Cook until they are heated through and a little bit soft, after about ve minutes of cooking. Set aside in a bowl and add more olive oil to the pan. Add the bell peppers, repeating the process with the salt, pepper and herbes de Provence. e peppers should take about three minutes to cook. Add the cooked peppers, eggplant and zucchini to the tomato sauce, along with the basil. Stir over low heat to incorporate and heat the vegetables through. Taste and then adjust seasoning as needed. Serve with bread or pasta; it can be used as a side dish to accompany sh, lamb, beef, etc. there would be a lot of things we wouldnt do. For example, anyone at Lewis & Clark who has ever managed a Facebook page and then given that password to someone else in order for them to manage it has broken a Facebook law. ere are subsets of regulations for things like promotions, payment and even data use (which is a whole section regarding how they harvest and distribute information). Technically, tagging someone in a photo without consent is illegal by Facebook laws, as is having an account when under the age of 13 or not updating your phone number on your pro le if you change numbers. But Facebook, too, has questionable behavior in light of loose legislation. e last six months or so have made waves for a mass production of privacy-frenzied statuses, while also piquing legislative interest. Considering the absolute boom that was, and is, Facebook, many concerns have been raised about personal data privacy. On the one hand, Facebooks security options, like being able to control your posts to be Public or Private, may give the illusion that your in-

PHOTO COURTESY OF LINDSEY BOSSE

formation on Facebook is secure, private and only accessible to you. However, under their data use policy, Facebook notes that every single move you make on Facebook is traceable by them, down to which computers youre using Facebook on and where those computers are located. ey can tell whose pro les youve looked

BY LINDSEY BOSSE
STAFF WRITER Facebook and I have had a fairly harmonious and open relationship. Sometimes we see each other many times a day, sometimes not for weeks. e day I made my Facebook account, I had already realized the potential danger of being honest online, so I made my name Lindsey Aryn and said I was 21 (I was 15); I failed to specify a hometown, and I gave an email address that I havent used for over a decade now. Facebook notes that users use their real name and real information, since it is a global community, which is fairly idealistic when considering

the potential of criminal activity that could be done through Facebook. However, Facebook has laws. roughout my relationship with Facebook, I have posted chain statuses, created Facebook pages for other companies and people, managed pages, created pro les for pets and continued to use a name that is unrecognizable when compared to my birth certi cate. According to the Statement of Rights and Responsibilities, as created by Facebook, I have broken several Facebook laws. e Statement of Rights and Responsibilities is probably not the most frequently visited page on Facebook, and if it were,

We have agreed to be respectful members of Facebook even if weve never read the ne print.
at, what games youre playing, what youve been doing, and they then use that information to make your Facebook experience more personal. Is this an invasion of privacy or a brilliant way to improve marketing schemes through developing accurate target audiences? Departments like the U.S. Fair Trade Commission have stepped in, questioning data intake and

distribution. As of 2011, the department had settled charges against Facebook stating that it deceived consumers by telling them they could keep their information on Facebook private, and then repeatedly allowing it to be shared and made public, according to a release published by the Federal Trade Commission. Following that in February 2012, the Obama administration passed a Privacy Bill of Rights directly referencing social media and other corporations in the give and take of personal data. Facebook, and some of the more brilliant-yet-deceptive practices that have been derived from the platform, was not anticipated to create any legislative issues on behalf of users, creators and legislators alike. e government is enforcing Facebook to be more transparent and respectful of privacy, which trickles down to Facebook requiring users to be more conscious of their online etiquette and technique. Like many other contracts that we hold as adults, we have agreed to be respectful members of the Facebook community and abide by their standards, even if weve never read the ne print.