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Special Essay

Building strong relationships


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Has love evolved with time? P3 Maskals love stories P7

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Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

here are very few things in life that are so significant as to affect every human being. Life and education has taught us that human beings generally have three basic needs to stay alivefood, shelter and clothing. As much as I generally agree with this hierarchy of needs for human beings, I dare say that people have one more very basic need which is as crucial as the aforementioned needs, and that is LOVE. Countless stories are told of people who, even after ascending the hierarchy of needs, commit suicide because they feel unloved. In fact LOVE is the only single word definition of God in the Holy Bible. In 1 John 4:8 scripture tells us whoever does not love does not know God, FOR GOD IS LOVE. God himself attests to this attribute in many of his dealings with His very own creation. For example, in the book of Matthew 5:45, the Bible tells us that God causes the sun to rise upon the just and the unjust and provides rain to the righteous and unrighteous. Secondly, countless stories are told of extreme acts which God and indeed people can undertake in pursuit of love. For example, the highest act of love that the world has ever seen and known is recorded in the book of John 3:16 which reads: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but inherit eternal life. The origin of the day we celebrate today, Valentines Day, is yet another piece of evidence of an extreme act of love taken by Saint Valentine who broke King Claudius decree not to wed soldiers. Saint Valentine

Building strong relationships T

by rev. reuben Matundu the author is a pastor for Word alive Ministries, Mzuzu.

do display beastly tendencies such as gender-based violence, nepotism, racism, oppression, human trafficking and so on. What love is notLessons from 1 Corinthians 13 1. The fact that one is blessed with spiritual gifts such as faith and prophecy does not necessarily make them a loving person. 1 Cor.13:1-2 2. The fact that one is able to make sacrifices does not necessary make them a loving person. 1 Cor.13:3 3. The fact that one has got feelings for another does not necessarily mean that they love the person, love is greater than feelings. 1 Cor. 13:4-7 4. The fact that one is very knowledgeable does not necessarily mean that they are a loving person. Knowledge fails, but love never fails. 1 Cor.13:8 What love is The best answer of what love is, is found in 1 John 3:16, the Bible says: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay our lives down for our brethren. True love is seen when we esteem people around us; our brethren, spouses and children; above our own selves, in love. Love focuses on others and not self. Also in the book of John 15:13 the Bible states: Greater love has no man than this, to lay down ones life for ones friend. What is the conclusion of the whole matter, therefore? Whosoever suffers, sacrifices, gives to a friend, brother, spouse, child and indeed their nation for the betterment of others at his/ her expense, such one is offering the true and greater love. He/she is truly a loving person.

Love is selfless
suffered imprisonment and later execution for the love he showed the soldiers. Love, therefore, be it divine, platonic or romantic, remains humankinds essential need; just like shelter, food and clothing. In the absence of love, many a human being

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Many countries celebrate Valentines Day, including the united States, canada, Mexico, the united Kingdom, france, australia and Malawi. over one billion Valentine cards are given in the uS every year more seasonal cards are exchanged on this day than any other holiday except christmas.

Seventy-three percent of people who buy flowers for Valentines Day are men; only 27 percent are women. cupid, a symbol of Valentines Day, became associated with Valentines Day because he was the son of Venus, the roman god of love and beauty. cupid often appears on Valentines cards holding a bow and arrows because he is believed to use magical arrows to inspire feelings of love. the Middle ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. they would wear these in names on their sleeves for one week. to wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.(from agirlsworld.com and about.com)

PHOTOGRAPH: flickR.cOm

Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

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Has love evolved with time?


M
FATSANI GUNYA Correspondent
any argue society is much more different now than it was in the past. Born in the same year the country got its independence from the British, Linesi Harrison got married in 1981. She now has eight children. On the other hand, 63-yearold Group Village Headman Maliri has nine children with the same wife he married in 1978. While the two may have some contrasting scenarios in their love lives, there are some common threads running through them. The two are both custodians of social values, customs and values. The two are village chiefs in LilongweHarrison is Group Village Head Mwanza, while Maliri acting as his areas traditional authority, since the T/A who passed away some time ago. But there is more. The two agree that love today has greatly changed. They claim it is no longer binding as it used to be in their youthful days. In her poem, Brie Beecher urges her readers to ponder on the actual meaning of love; if at all there is. But has love really evolved over the years? Does the word have meaning anymore? I am strongly convinced that it has. There are a lot of signs attesting to my claim and the rising cases of divorce are not helping the scenario. Much as we may not talk of building a stone house without stones, its a pity that people yearn of building effective Christian homes without [Jesus] Christ, says Medison Mazengera, a pastor at Area 23 Seventh-Day Adventist Church. But there is more. People seem to have forgotten the essence of love. I dont think its as valued as it used to be though it remains the most important key to all life on earth, he adds. Looking at the bigger picture Harrison painted in an interview, one may easily agree

Maliri: Love is no longer binding


with Mazengeras assertions. According to her, the Malawian society seems to have abandoned its cultural values. She blames modernisation which, she says, has managed to do away with some village counsellors. I am not saying that we ought to remain conservative; like refusing to move on with times. But at least we have to weigh the options before us before dumping our values as a people. Not everything that the West brings us is good. Today, children no longer respect the elders. Its just logical for them to have turbulent love lives. Its all because the elders are not consulted, from choice, time to marriage. But what worries her most is how nowadays parents raise their kids. She says few of them prepare them for the independent life ahead. She attributes this to lack to family times in most homes, owing to career affiliations. Maliri chips in, saying that in his days, there was the whole community interested in the welfare of a child, and this included their love child. Its not like we didnt have career parents back then; we had them. But at least they understood on where to draw the line in their parenthood. Children were a valuable asset then. There were uncles and aunts to see to it that their nephews and nieces do them proud by tying the note with a partner of some sound character and principles. Its all gone now. Money and material obsession have taken over. Maliri thinks the media has done a lot of damage than good in the way children are brought up in recent times. But how much of a role has the media really played in the upbringing of children, which academic and psychologists both agree that it directly relates on choices one makes in future? Village Headman Bubuwa of Ntcheu tries to share his insights by asking the tough questions: It all depends on what it means to you to be in love; what have you gathered as your clues as to what love should be, and how have you allowed the media to shape your ideas of what it means to be in a relationship, says the young Ngoni village head. He argues society does not see many portrayals of true love in the media. He says: Because in a PAGE 6

PHOTOGRAPH: FATsAni GunyA

Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

CONST. JOE NZIMA My heart belongs to you and only you. Evarine.

ANGELA! You are my hope and joy. Never stop caring. Till we unite. Emmanuel.

RACHEAL MZINZA You are an amazing person, you are the best. Having you in my life completes and fulfills every part of me. Be my Valentine. Oliver Nembo.

JOY KANTHUNZI You are my source of happiness and you are a gift from God. You are my Valentine forever. Love from Mum Eve Seven.

MRS VIOLET CLARA CHINKONO Darling Vio, on this day I want you to know that the most beautiful view is the one I share with you. I wish you happy Valentines Day. Husband Clem.

BEATRICE KACHINGONI MASEKO For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my mind you touched, but my soul... Happy Valentines Day dear. Pachie.

JESSY RICHARD I love three things! the sun, the moon and you. The sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever. Be my Valentine. Lameck Njala.

GETRUDE CHALEMA CHIWANDA You are such a wonderful beauty, so rare to find, thats why I chose you on 7th July, 2012 to be the mother of my children. No regrets at all and you deserve more. Thank God to have you in my life. Be my Valentine forever. Peter.

PHOEBE CHAWAWA Stay with me, be my Valentine, Kondwa will be all you need, Love you. Kondwa Malera.

STANLEY CHIMWAZA Stanley my husband, you are all what I wanted in my life. Happy Valentine. Your wife Christina.

RELIA NKHATA Be my Valentine mama. Zaithwa, you are so special in my life. Hubby Eno (Anonga). WE THANK GOD, pastor Chipungu of Chilomoni Assemblies, parents, MRA staff, the organising committee, friends and all relatives for the support rendered to our wedding on 26th January, 2013. The gifts were so wonderful. May God bless you abundantly. Godfrey and Chifundo Magaleta.

RODRICK ZALANJE Just want to let you know that you will always be my Valentine forever. Happy Valentines Day my sweetheart. From Gladys Jimu.

LINLY KUNKHONGO Happy Valentine my wife. I love you. Kunkhongo.

C H I F U N D O ZINCHETERA Wishing you a joyous Valentines Day. My love for you is natural. Enjoy. Harriet Gumba.

ESNAT KAIPA Sweet, you are almost everything to me. Continue being good to me. Happy Valentine. Isaac BDA Mkandawire.

MRS JULIANA CHIWANDA KAMINGA You are unique, you are caring and you are the best. I am the luckiest to have you in my life. May God bless you always. Happy Valentines Day my sweetheart. Atipatsa.

C O N S T A N C E MKANDAWIRE KAIYA Sweet heart, Am missing you every second of my heart beat. I cant survive without you darling. I will always keep my promise because am a man of my words. I love you my valentine. Husband Kondwani.

MADA You rock my heart, enjoy your valentines day. Wongie ANGELLA MWANZA Be my Valentine. Talandila.

MAGGIE BANDA You are my special sweetheart. Happy Valentines Day. Roneck Chimwaza. ECKARIE Umutima wanjyeigihe cyose ushaka ujye uburimpande yanjye ukabu kure urukundo rwanjye rarakura narwo igihe cyose buri munola. Bailla.

JANET KAMONO You are a source of everything in my life. Happy Velentine. Ernest Kamono.

STEVE KUMTAMBILA Just want to let you know that you are my one and only. Happy Valentines Day sweetheart. From Enklent Phiri.

HENRY KAGULO Sweet Daddie, your love is like that of a mother. Timakukondani kwambiri. Happy Valentines Day. Wife Rutty, Ryan and Aja Kagulo.

To my sweet CHARITY, sending out the purest Valentines love to you. Chawa.

PATRICIA GONDWE My love time may change but one thing that will always remain true is our love. Hun the future belongs to those who believe in the only beauty of their dreams. Happy Valentines Day. Chippie Chule.

HUSSEIN MILANZIE Am waiting for your promise and big day. Chisi Bangwe Police.

ATUPELE MDALA You are charming and disarming, irresistance and true to me. The excitement of your presence matches the beating of my heart. Your promise for tomorrow that we shall never part. You inspire and impress me and these are the reasons you are my Valentine. Your husband.

Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

SYNDIE KALIYA Am proud of you honey. You are my Gods sent. Ndidzakukonda mpaka imfa. Martha Wako.

MRS SEMBA Mama, I love you. You are my everything, my advisor to everything. May God bless you and our family. Husband.

GRACE! You are my special Valentine. Feel it. Alexie!

MARY MITHI We are proud of you mum. May God bless you always. Wishing you a good Valentines Day. From your kids Wisdom, Constance, Nellie and Daina. You are special to us.

CHIMWEMWE Sweetie, I thank God I found you and you mean a lot to me and my son. Keep on loving and caring for us. We love you!! Happy Valentines Day. Geoffrey and Destiny.

MONICA BANDA Sweetheart, youre my destiny. Happy Valentine. Donnay.

ANNIE CHINANGWA Love you lots together with Sam Jnr. Samson Mwalungila.

VALENTINE AND VALENTINO KAPIMPHI Happy 5th birthday to you boys. Keep on charming. Madalo & Chimwemwe Kapimphi.

MARTIN MATHEWE Happy Valentine sweet. I love you so much. Jane Chirwa. ZIONE Let the world know that you are mine. I love you. Billie

AAH MWAMONDWE Without you here, Karonga wouldnt be the same. I love you. Baila. DONNAY Daddie you are mine forever. Happy Valentine. Monica Banda.

LINDA You are the love of my life. Happy Valentine sweetie! Symon. ERNEST MILANZI You are the best thing I ever had. Always loving you. Stellah. CATHERINE MVULA You mean a lot to me sweetie. Be my Valentine forever. Amos Happy Valentines Day dear wife RITA. Love from David. AUGA This day is so special just because I have you. Love you Log. MPHATSO TONNY! Youa re one in a million. You deserve to be my ever Valentine. From your Valentine Timakufilani. Mawet. PATSA WATHU MALUNDA Birthday and Valentines Day same day! Wawoo! What a coincidence. Love you always. Husband to be James Damson. MIKE SANDIKONDA Honey, happy Valentine. Mupitilize kutikonda. Timakukondani. Yours Grace Lingomba (MJ)

NOEL KAPITO I open my bag I found it empty I searched my pocket found few coins finally I searched my heart and I found you Then I reaslised how rich I am because I have a lover like you. Happy Valentines Day. Aiwala Makoyo.

JESSY Thinking of your care gives me comfort, thinking of love gives me feeling of having attained everything in this world. Aubrey. HOMEBOY I love you my husband, you are grown up, be caring and lovely, four kids its not a joko. Its me your wife, son Junior, Sante, Febe and lovely daugther Zaida.

AIWALA MAKOYO Dear, you gave my life a new meaning and I always feel like singing and shouting. I thank God for you in my life. Happy happy Valentines Day. Noel Kapito.

THANDEKILE Valentine treasures are people who have often crossed your mind, who in your life have shined the warmth of love or a spark of light that makes you remember them. No matter how long since youve actually met. Each one is a luminous gem, who gleams and glows in your memory. Bringing special pleasures and thats why this Valentine comes to you babe. Youre that sparkling treasure. I love you so much my dear wife. Tione.

DANIELLS F. MSEWA My husband, I promise to stand by your side through thick and thin. Honour your thoughts and feelings. I will always love you. Happy Valentines Day. Wife Wezzie. EMMAH You are the one who makes my life to tick. Continue being my Valentino. GordonLauk.

WEZZIE MSISKA Wish the world knew what your love for me, Sheillah and Themba mean. You are a wonderful person, sweet Wezzie, a loving mother, a caring wife and most importantly my best friend ever, all in single person You! I love you my love. Be my Valentine! Daniel Msiska.

CONSTANCE MWAUNGULU Darling, you deserve to be my wife because you fulfill. I love you! Always my Valentine. Hamphreys Mwaungulu.

BLESSINGS I. GONDWE Your caring ways make me to love you, no one like you. Happy Valentines Day. Mphatso Mbewe.

GETRUDE Happy Valentine to you. Life is what we make. Love you. Husband Kenneth Mpighu

HILDA KAFUMBA Babe, so special and precious is what you are to me. You fill every single space in my life. Always loving you babe. Tinkha (Dad).

DEAR JUSUF I just want to say that Ive loved you since I met you. I loved you since the first time you saw me even though we were not together for some time. I still loved you and Ill always. I have no words to thank God for the gift.

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Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

What Valentine means to different people


It means love, togetherness
Valentine means love and the idea of staying together in oneness. It also means respecting each others decisions and priorities.Stanford Chitseko, Blantyre.

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A birthday of some sort?


It is a habitual people developed for a certain day in the month of February. Valentine is like a birthday of some sort, when people celebrate by dressing in red and white attires. It is symbolised by giving each other flowers.Damiano Jackson, Blantyre.

Time for all lovers


To me, Valentine means a day on which lovers need to strengthen their love ties. It may be either parent to their children or between two people who are in love.Pilirani Banda, Blantyre.

Making loved ones happy


Valentine means doing what the person you are in love with wants, and doing things to impress the other and not oneself. It can be in a form of buying a cloth your partner has been willing to have but has not been able to get.Enock John Namalomba, Blantyre.

Time to celebrate love


It means one woman to one man and being faithful to ones partner. To celebrate this, a day was set aside for people to celebrate the idea of one love.Bauti Thomas, Blantyre.

On whether love has evolved


PAGE 3 culture that moves as quickly, and has an infinite need for immediate gratification, it is so much easier for us to gravitate towards that which is easiest to obtain. Bubuwa also bemoans the loss in cultural pride in many a tribe which he says is slowly eroding the countrys cultural identity and heritage. For instance, you find everyone doing a Ngoni chinkhoswe ceremony as if they were all Ngonis when they arent. This is common in urban settings. Most times, its because townspeople would choose to ignore their village elders in the name of modernisation. We need to learn that some other things are more valuable than money, and that modernisation doesnt have to make us lose our identity, he says. In an interview, recently wedded James and Thandi Masanga-Mbewe of Lilongwe revealed they paraded as Ngonis on their engagement ceremony last year, though they are not. They are Lhomwe. Does it mean they could not arrange for a Lhomwe ceremony? Was something to do with funds or parental guidance? Actually, its none of the above. We just found the Ngoni type appealing and we set out to do ours that way given a choice, Thandi says. The two dated for six years before tying the knot. However, Maliri concurs with Bubuwa on the need to uphold ones true cultural identity, saying there is no culture which is superior to the other. And this, he adds, emanates on ones upbringing. But in his essay posted online, writer Christopher Kendalls says: These days, children have webcams and try to get them to grow up too fast and even in classroom, no one is really safe. Technology has made adult fare more accessible, and seeing that you no longer have to pay so much money to watch something you shouldnt be. Kendalls also argues that the media has since the turn of the millennium made parents lose grip of their parenthood in the upbringing of children as they themselves may not make good examples for the children. It is a terrible thing that most of us, rather the overwhelming majority of us, grew up in a time where everyone was getting divorced, and that even younger adults

Harrison: The concept of love has changed


fresh out of adolescence grew up in single home households where their parents were never married to begin with are trying to teach their children something, terrible indeed.

But the author also tries to offer some cues on how best to move on with the dynamic world. But at some point in time, we have to move beyond that, to desire something, to desire something more out of life than the empty gratification that comes with experiment and being your own free agent that is accountable to no one. You have to move on and demand more from yourself. Before you can do that, yeah the media may have planted those seeds, but long after he media has left you alone and moved on to someone more impressionable, you are still walking around in the dark. Kendall says. But Maliri, Mwanza and Bubuwa all say all is not lost. There is still hope. The three, though indicated scepticism about how the day is commemorated, agree that Valentines Day is a chance to renew and strengthen love relationships which they believe will pave the way for a peaceful and stable world. But all said and done, a point still remains that even in such a world of constant change, the important things need to be maintained; topping that list should be love!

PHOTOGRAPH: FATsAni GunyA

Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

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Maskals love stories


As love lingers in the air, JAMES CHAVULA gets to the heart of a love hitmakers affections.

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hose who consider Valentines Day alien say it is just another day cunning businesses cash in on lovers. The critics argue that love is too good to be adored one day a yearfor it must be treasured all day, every day, all year round. Still, truckloads of sweets, flowers, ornaments and gift boxes will have exchanged hands by sunset today. The finest way of celebrating love lies in the heart of the beholders, but Maskal, probably Malawian musics most romantic voice, feels today is the singular day lovebirds have to their name and let them rejoice in a special way. In a year, there are numerous days dedicated to specific themes such as diseases, peace and historic events, but lovers have none but Valentine to show their appreciation for their beloved. If my parents were alive, today would have been the day to show them how much they matter to me, says the Udalire hitmaker who performs for childrens wellbeing at Steers Garden downtown Blantyre tonight. The loves of Maskal By the time he gets on stage, his romantic numbers including the 2010 hits Udalire, Wa CV, Mtima Wako and Ndimakukondawould have been replayed on air and on the playlists of uncountable lovers beyond the venue. Soulful music brings hearts closer to each other. Despite sacrificing a candlelight outing with his love, the artist says he is happy to spend the night at a show just to show some love for needy children. For a long time, his fans have been wondering who is woman behind the rise of the musician who admittedly receives a flurry of messages acknowledging how his well-measured lyrics are recharging batteries of drained affairs and saving marriages from separation. He says there are two gems he adores despite the trappings and temptations celebrity life presents. First, he cites his passion for writing. Maskal usually stays home alone, penning his rare imaginations that have given birth to a collection of lovable songs. This solitary life made him brand ambassador of Access Communications Limited and winner of

Malawian Music Award in 2012. Second, there is Sekay Mponda, his sweetheart of about five years who opens floodgates of superlatives. Sekay is everything I need. I am happy with her. Actually, she is the one who inspired me to sing Ndimakukonda and Mtima Wako on my first album, Nthawi, says Maskal. He explained: We met in 2009 when I was rising from a failed relationship. Ever since, she has always been by my side. She was the force of my rise and the fountain of ideas when I had nothing to keep my music going. She used to tell me what to do and what was happening in the industry. Sekay the sweetheart Maskal revealed that Sekay was his sisters friend at a time he did not want fall in love again. Their affection has grown from strength to strength and he says he has learnt one thing: No matter what happens, human beings need a special someone to be their other half. He likens material love to a mansion on sand, saying it crumbles as soon as the incentives vanish. Most Malawians, especially the youth, have ended up in failed affairs because they mistake love for money and attraction. People must make the best out of valentine, and they can do so without spending. Sometimes, expensive gifts are cheaper than heartfelt words. After all, even pretenders can buy flowers he elaborates. Wedding bells But what does he say true love is? It is the centre of everything, he says. Without love, I wouldnt be here. My music could not have been here. My fans could not have been here. For me, love is Umunthu as in the title of my second album. Its being there for someone and remaining truetreating others as we want them to treat us. Watch this space. The artist disclosed that he is planning to upgrade his love for treasured Sekay at a private engagement soon and a white wedding next year. During the special days, deejays only have to shuffle the album Umunthu for timely hits such as Umamva Bwanji, Kudzagwa Mvula, Chikondi, Zili ndi Iwe, Usatope, Wamupeza, Anakadziwa and Linga Langa. Early Valentine As rosy mementos fly off the shelves, the singer gave us a glimpse of how he and

Maskal: Don't give obvious gifts

his sweetheart spend their Valentine. To him, this is the secret: Dont give obvious gifts, lovers love surprises. He stated: We usually have an early Valentine because I

tend to spend the actual at a show. But I make sure to take my beloved Sekay to some wow lonely place we have never been. I like quite places where I can just be Masiye Kasaru, not

Maskal the artist. According to his love story, Maskal is not one of those who will break up before Valentine and reconcile later afterwards just to skirt around the cost of the love holiday.

PHOTOGRAPH: NATiON libRARy

Romance is in the air on Valentine's Day

PHOTOGRAPH: flickR.cOm

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SAMUEL CHIBAYA Staff reporter
eople have coined thousands of expressions to express their deep affection for each other, for instance an icon in Country and Western music Don Williams sang in a song Youre my best friend. You placed gold on my finger/ You brought love like Ive never known/ You gave life to our children/ And to me a reason to go on. Youre my bread when Im hungry/ Youre my shelter from troubled winds/ Youre my anchor in lifes ocean/ But most of all youre my best friend. Apart from music, another way of demonstrating commitment towards love is where a man and woman marry each other and found a family. The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State, as contained in the Constitution of the Republic of Malawi. It further stipulates: All men and women have the right to marry and found a family. No person shall be forced to enter into marriage. For centuries, people all over the world married. There are different styles in which they enter into marriage. And in case of Malawi, people expect a formal ceremony called wedding to precede marriage. However, sometimes people simply marry without such a ceremony and it is referred to as marriage by elopement. Marriage is part of culture and the ceremonies differ from culture to culture. Chiefs are custodians of culture and Traditional Authority Chadza of Lilongwe gives an account of marriage, with a specific focus on how it is done in the village and in town. These days, there are differences between a marriage in town and in a village, explains the chief.

Special pullout the nation 14 february 2013

Town and village wedding from chiefs viewpoint

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Love and weddings have been Westernised in Malawi


He says, in addition to sealing the affection the two lovebirds have for each other, marriages are now a form of generating money, especially during the wedding ceremonies. First, he explains on how a typical marriage is founded in his area. He said, after courtship, the mans side officially notifies the womans side of the impending marriage. Then they agree, visit each other and pay around K10 000 and some gifts such as maize flour, soap, a piece of wrapper and around K200 on top of the K10 000. The two sides either agree on holding an engagement ceremony and wedding separately or jointly depending on the amount of money they have to manage the two ceremonies, he adds. The differences, says the chief, come in areas of an event called bridal shower. We dont do bridal shower. Bridal shower is an event specifically arranged to offer comprehensive pieces of advice to a bride. A bridegroom appears towards the end of the event. We dont do that here in the village, he indicated. Most of the times wedding in town take place at the church, if its a Christian marriage and have a reception at an entertainment hall. Adds the chief: But here we dont go to a hall. We simply use a playground or the chiefs court. The chief also indicates that where weddings in town are typical of symbolic events such

as cutting of cake, wearing of a finger ring, kissing and hugging, a typical wedding in the village is devoid of these. We dont kiss or hug each other, that is against our culture because they are meant for the two in the privacy of their bedroom and not public display, he adds. He also indicates that it is against a typical village marriage for a man and woman who have been staying together as a family for years and also probably have children to do a wedding ceremony. These people are already married, but these days, we hear that there are such weddings taking place in town. This is what you people in town are doing, pointed out T/A Chadza. Also becoming trendy in town is another activity called sendoff, which is organised for both man and woman. In all these, I see that the bride and bridegroom are driven by a desire to raise money since those attending the ceremonies are expected to pay cash or other materials in form of gifts. So the weddings in town have normally become a commercial venture, said the chief. However, despite such differences, there are underlying similarities such as courtship, official proposal for the bride, the wedding event or wedding parade where the two either use motorcades or bicycles for showbiz. At the end of the day, what matters is whether the couple involved truly loves each other, not whether the ceremony is in town or in the village.

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