Chapter IV THE KEMETIC (Egyptian) KING AND THE NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE In 2009 on my 60th birthday, what started

out as a birthday celebration and recognition of 16 elders, turned out to be a Kings coronation. The Elder Queen Mothers of our spiritual community bestowed on me the title OBA(king). For maybe 5 seconds my ego was as big as the state of Kentucky. However reality set in fast, I realized this was much bigger than a Romanticized ego trip of playing a game. It was about my life belonging to the people, the people I serve. It became clear to me that this bestowing of a title was coming from a place beyond the Queen Mothers and myself. As I began to research the role and duties of a King in the traditional African sense I found out that it was nowhere near the concept of the western monarchy. The African King must be an example of the culture and tradition of which he belongs. He, the King is the chief representative of the people before God and man. He is the personification of the peoples dignity, pride and the instrument for carrying out their will. He is watched over by a council of elders and in some cases a council of Queen Mothers. Should he ever attempt to be an absolute monarch, he would find himself in big trouble, trouble that could warrant his demise. His role was essentially religious, given the fact that among the Africans religion was the core of everything, there was no separation between church and state. God was seen in everything and was everywhere. History teaches us that for the Egyptians and most African people, religious life was never really separate from the rest of their lives. The entire culture was infused with religious awareness and insight. This awareness included the knowing that the spirit world interpenetrated all spheres of existence. As such there was a need for one to be able to negotiate the spirit realm , this was in fact the role of the King! As such the King was a representative of the people to the powers of the universe. In fact it was the King who had ritually undergone intense inner experiences while still alive that in part qualified him to be King. It was the King who was trusted into extreme psychological and existential predicaments and encountered alternate realities. Like most shamans, it was

the King via altered states of consciousness in which his spirit left the body, that he had direct experiences, while in ecstatic flight, with royal ancestors, ancestors, gods and spirits and experienced an inner rebirth. In fact one can say an alliance exists between Shamanism and Egyptian religion that sets it apart from other faith based organized religions. In his book, Shamanic Wisdom in the Pyramid Texts, by Jeremy Naydler on page 15 he writes; The role of the shaman as mediator between the non- ordinary reality of the spirit world and the ordinary reality of the sense-perceptible world is in many respects paralleled in ancient Egypt by the Egyptian King, whose role is similarly to act as mediator between worlds. Such important shamanic themes as the initiatory death and dismemberment followed by rebirth and renewal, the transformation of the shaman into a power animal, the ecstatic ascent to the sky, and the crossing of the threshold of death in order to commune with ancestors and gods are all to be found in the Pyramid texts. While Naydle contends that Old Egypt should not be as shamanic because there does not seen to be a central figure call shaman in Ancient Egypt as in most shamanic cultures, yet he does say that when taken together, the King, priest, magicians, and healers fulfill practically all the role of the traditional shaman. In speaking of Egyptian priest, they were portrayed as spiritual practitioners and were known to have direct knowledge of realities beyond the physical. This knowledge was the result of direct experience and not theoretical information found in books. It was the Egyptian priests who were in constant contact with divine knowledge and inspiration. Speaking of the Egyptian Priest Chaeremon, Naydler writes on page 31; According to the accounts he has left to us, the Egyptian priest dedicated their entire lives to the thought and contemplation of God The fruit of their contemplation of God was knowledge; and through contemplation and knowledge they attained to a way of life at once esoteric and old-fashioned. Through this constant contact with divine

knowledge and inspiration, the priest of Egypt pursued a life of wisdom. Chaeremon then explains that it was within this sacred context that they practiced astronomy, studied arithmetic and geometry, and devoted their lives to scholarly investigation. Chaeremons Egyptian priests are portrayed as philosopher-priest, pursuing a life of wisdom through the contemplation of God. This should be understood as his way of making accessible to his Greco-Roman audience the fact that the path to divine knowledge pursued by the priest involved the cultivation of elevated states of consciousness different from normal discursive reasoning based on sense experience. The ancient Egyptians valued and prioritized mystical knowledge acquired through exalted states of consciousness, and this as we shall see- is to a large extent what is documented in the sacred texts that have come down to us. The reason why such knowledge was valued so highly is that the world was understood by the ancient Egyptians to be interpenetrated by divine forces. Thus knowledge of the gods, in a universe recognized to be a manifestation of divine powers, was the only knowledge truly worth having: All other knowledge was secondary to it. Thus it was the direct experience with the divine that was valued. In second thought how it could not be valued, this was knowledge directly from God!

Never the less what were the Ancestors trying to tell me with this title OBA, where were they directing me and why? It is said that Shamans read the signs what was all of this a sign of? In trying to decode all of this I discovered through research that the Egyptian Kings experienced the near death experience. However unlike mine theirs was deliberate and induced by the High Priest. In fact, the King himself had to also be a High Priest.

In his book, Shamanic Wisdom in the Pyramid Texts, by Jeremy Naydler on page 84 he writes; In the Ancient Egyptian social order, there was one person who had particularly important role in relation to the dead, that was the King. His primary function was to keep the visible and invisible worlds linked together. The King had to live as much in relation to the spirit world as he did in relation to the visible world. He was a God-man, the mediator between the worlds. For the King to properly fulfill his function, it was essential that the veil or barrier between the worlds did not exist for him, for his responsibilities included precisely those aspects of the well-being of the country that were dependent on the beneficent flow of vitalizing energies from the spirit realm into the realm of the living. The king was ultimately responsible for the well-being of crops and animals, the annual flooding of the Nile, and the fertility of the land. It would therefore be a mistake to think of the kingship as a political institution in the modern sense, for the most important role the king fulfilled was in fact magical or shamanic. As an aside, I ask you, is there any difference today? There is a major need for the two realms to be bridged; there is a dire need for individuals who can navigate between the worlds. Thus in relation to the King being a mediator between the worlds it is clear in this role his shamanic abilities were needed. However, how was this veil or barriers between the worlds breached? To understand this requires an understanding of the Egyptian, Sed Festival or Heb-Sed Festival (time of renewal). The Heb-Sed festival was about the renewal of the King, because the King was not supposed to rule unless he was in good health and spirits. As such he was obliged to rejuvenate his vital force, by regularly attending physical and metaphysical practices which were known as the HebSed rituals. One of these rituals was to induce a near death experience, so the King could travel to the higher realms to rejuvenate his cosmic powers. When he returned, he would be a new king. In some cases

these festivals and rituals were held every 3-5 years, but most always in the 30th year of the Kings reign. Some of the endurance exercises included a 5 mile run, to ensure that he was in good health. Also the festival involved the King visiting the shrines of the assembled gods or deities of Egypt. These deities or gods made present by their statues were brought to the ceremony from all over Egypt. They represented the spiritual energies of the landscape, which were embodied in the human and semi-human forms of their statues. As such the King was in engaged in a ritual communion with the gods or deities of Egypt. Of this Naydle writes on page 85; The underlying purpose of this was to reach across to the more subtle spirit world that upholds and vitalizes the physical world, in order to ensure a beneficent connection with it and an unhampered flow of energies from it into the physical. However, central to the Heb-Sed festival involved the King crossing the threshold between the worlds, via the near death experience. The king would journey to the other worlds so he could stand in direct relationship to the normally hidden spiritual powers. In doing so his powers were renewed i.e., he was born again new. Once the King crossed this threshold into the other realms; Naydler writes on page 316, Inhabiting these inner worlds are number of different spiritual beings. There are the dead, the royal ancestors in particular, who come to meet the King as he stands on the threshold of the spirit world (utt 306). There are also helping spirits, in the form of spirits wives who consort with the King (utt 205), spirit mothers who suckle him (utts.41-42, 211, 269 and 208) and spirit guides who guide him through the otherworld regions. What fascinates me is that at one time or another during and after my near death experiences I experienced all of the above! It has been my research into this subject that is revealing to me just how profound the near death experience is and just who I am. However it is as R.A. Schwaller DeLubicz writes in his book, Sacred Science, on page 240; There exist a concept, obvious to the sages of all times, the meaning and very possibility of which are totally beyond the understanding of rationalistic thinking: the concept of

qualitative exaltation. This notion does not concern the elimination of impurities in order to retain the pure, unadulterated quality; instead, exaltation of refers to a kind of spiritualization of the things characterizing quality. Thus we see it is the near death experience in effect that is the spiritualization of the King characterizing quality. In other words, this character as a god-man was intensified and taken to a higher level of vibration with each near death experience during the Heb-Sed festival. Has my character been spiritualized as a result of the near death experience, I would like to think so? Yet, these realities are buried beneath years of negative self-image, until today I am humbled and honored to know that I, like the Egyptian Kings before me have traveled to the other side and to this day live between the worlds.

John: this is for the final chapter:

If the near death experience is so liberating and demonstrates fully that there are realities far beyond our everyday perceptions and if as in most cases it reveals Gods love for us, then I leave you with one question? WHEN DID IT BECOME SO DIFFICULT TO WORSHIP GOD?

When did it become so difficult to worship God?

Dear One: So you think it is difficult to worship God? Yes, it is when you are trying to worship two masters. This world of illusion has you so hypnotized by its pomp and glitter until you have identified material things as blessings of God. You look to this world to validate you and give you status, when in reality it is God who is the author of it all. So here you are trying to worship God through the glitter of this world of illusion, thus in essence your worship of God is nothing more than an illusion. This is the reason you continue to search for healing, because with all of your material things you still have emptiness in your soul that you are trying to fill. Dear One: it is not difficult to worship God, however it does require work, work that many are not willing to do. Yes, some are required to pray five times a day, fast and etc., others are required to do something else, yes it is work, however it should be a labor of love. It only becomes difficult when you add the human element to it, when man begins to try to change things for personal benefit. Here you have a God that is so merciful and gracious, a God that gives and gives unconditional love, it should not be hard to worship a God like that. Think of it, when you are in love with someone, it is not difficult to do for them, it is not difficult to love them and enjoy being in their company. Such is the same with God yet at a much higher level. Once you personally know God; you have no problem praying 5, 10, 145 times a day! Once you personally know

God you have no problem fasting, attending to pots, cooking meals and whatever is required, yet the important point here is, PERSONALLY KNOWING GOD! Dear One, we say to you that you must get to know God for yourself and not how someone else has said God should be. God has never left you and God does not want this life to be difficult for you. However, your world of ease, and modern technology has made you lazy and you want something without having to work for it. You, want it placed at your feet and you do nothing, nothing at all for it. You think God owes you something, and you only pay lip service to worship of God. How committed are you to God, how dedicated are you to God? The quality of your life should tell you the answer to that question. When we say quality of life, we do not mean material possessions, we mean are you living your life like you want? Is your life full of faith in God? Is your life reflective of Gods grace? Are you walking in the manner that you chose to walk or are you walking to the cadence of someone else? Dear One, we say to you that God is a loving God, a God that you should not fear but a God you should know. God is always here waiting to love and care for you yet, you get so caught in the energy of this world until you forget this simple fact. You are Gods creation and God gave you free will to walk as you chose, now you must look at the way you have chosen to walk. Dear One, do not blame God when things are not right in your life, look at the choices you have made. Have your choices been in accord with Gods laws? If they have then things in your life are fine, no matter how they look to others. However if the choices have not been in accord with Gods law then your life is full of confusion and discord. We say to you turn to God and seek to make your choices in accord with God and nothing more. Dear One, take a look at how out of control your ego is. Here you are thinking that God, the Great Mother, Orisha and Ancestors have turned from you! No, it is you who have turned from them and then you turn back and think they owe

you something. Have you ever stopped to understand the value of this life that you are living? Here God has given you a chance to come to earth and live your life that you might get it right and here you are running after things of this world. In fact if you do worship God it is out of the desire for the things of this world. You are secretly hoping in your heart that God will bless you to live like the rich and famous. We say to you stop and take a look at your motivation for seeking to walk this path. Do you really want God or do you want what God can give you? Many of you only turn to God in a time of need, other than that you have no need for God, so you think. However, God is so very close to you, God is you. When you realize that you and God are one and seek to live your life in accord to that then your life will be so much better. You are running around here trying to be better than someone lese, trying to have status, wealth, power and etc. When in reality you are here to use all of that for the glorification of God in your being. Glorify God in your very being, let your life be a testimony to Gods grace and love. Dear One, this is your chance to get it right, this is your chance to give back to the universe the same love that brought you into existence. Yes, rejoice for God is with you and will never leave you. Turn to God, seek God in all that you do and your life will turn around for the better. Seek not to get caught in the ego of others, get caught in God. When they come to you seeking to pull you into their illusions and you know that it is an illusion then turn quietly away and seek Gods assistance. Dear One, most are so hungry for God realization until they will follow anything and anyone, therefore personal experience of God is so important. This life is open to you if you would but just take time to experience it. Stop for a moment, check to see if you are living life or is life living you? Now what do we mean? Life is living you when you are trying to live to the standards set by someone else, when you are running after the things of this world in an effort to try and get over! Many of you have been given opportunity after opportunity and you have not taken advantage of it. You come asking for initiation and are given the opportunity for

it and will not finish it, yet you want God to give to you! You come to sit and hear yourself talk and talk and when the conversation is over you are still in the same condition, all mouth and no committed action towards living in the light of God. Dear one, turn to God and sincerely seek Gods assistance, for this world has you so duped until you bring European values to African religion. You are looking for magic, you are looking for it all without having to put forth any effort. It requires work, commitment and dedication to walk this path. We say to you if you are not willing to make the commitment, if you are not willing to be dedicated to God, then it is best that you remain if front of the Television wishing you could be what you are not willing to work towards. Television entertains the mind while it seeks to kill the spirit. Dear One: open, open this day to God and allow yourself to surrender to Gods grace and love. Now, please understand it is not hard to worship God, yet it is hard to follow the confusion of other than God. No matter which path you chose, be it Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, native American, African or etc, worship of God is not difficult, in fact it should be a joy. Now, give yourself to the path that you have chosen and never judge anothers path for that is the road that God has placed them on. Just make sure you are walking your road to the best of your ability. We forget that while there are many streams and rivers, they all flow into the ocean and it is all water! There are many paths to God, they all should be respected for they all seek to worship God. Dear One, never allow your steam, your river back to God to become polluted with the egotistical dictates of other men. Allow your river to flow pure with your own personal experience of God, Dear One if you allow your river to flow pure then many will drink from it. Yes, study the works of others, walk the path with others, follow others, however make sure your experience of God is personal, that you know God for yourself. For experience is the best teacher, without experience you have nothing but shallow information which gives birth to empty theory.

Dear One, as you walk this earth honor all that you see, walk in peace and give love , unconditional love always. Starting today make a conscious effort to worship God, make it the number one priority in your life. The more you love God, the more you worship God the more you will find your life full of love and light. Once you see the light then always seek to walk in it, let Gods light always direct you. Do not go into the darkness of your own misery. Dear One, in the dark days of depression take the light of God with you that you might see your way out. In those times of loneliness open your heart and feel the universe all about you, feel your own spirit, feel the spirit of your ancestors, feel God all about you for you are never alone. Dear One always remember, it is never difficult to worship God. Ra Bena Saa Tur (channeled Royal Ancestor)
July 17, 2009

When did it become so difficult to worship God? All of this wonderful creation has a way and manner of worship which seems simple yet profound. The birds praise God with their song and flight; they praise God in their being. The animals all live in accord to the pattern of their creation and as such they enjoy paradise on earth, yet man, man stands as the crown of creation but seems to have submitted to his lower dictates. Something so simple as the worship of God has become complex, oppressive, political and dictatorial. The preachers stand with bible in hand instilling fear of hell and the hope of heaven while he lives in the lap of luxury with money and women. He tells me that I must be a good believer, while he steals money and manipulate women to satisfy his base desires all in the name of God! The Imam stands with Quran in hand and makes sure I perform my wudu correctly, while he judges my

pronunciation of Quran and checks to see if I have paid zakat. The Babalawo stands with the Odu in hand, checking the stones in my pot, the items on my altar while all the time he is building his stable of religious concubines and increasing the cost of rituals and initiations. When did it become so difficult to worship God? The Dali Lama must flee for his life and live in exile, Gandhi assassinated, Dr. King assassinated, Malcolm X assassinated, for what? LIVING THEIR RELIGION!? Not to mention the one they refer to as Jesus Christ! And we will not begin to talk about the Catholic Church and the priest who stand with the cross in one hand and a hard dick in the other waiting to molest our little boys!!! When did it become so difficult to worship God? Now I must pray 5 times a day, fast for 30 days, make Hajj and give zakat or else I will not see paradise. Now I must attend Bible study, prayer meetings, Sunday school and regular church services, I must subject myself to being be rated, dehumanized and abused in order to get into heaven. Even today in some churches I must bring in my W2s to determine my ability to pay my way to play in the religious playpen with the rest of the children! And yet, I must feed various pots for the Orisha, say prayers, make meals, dress and clean shrines and endure the spiritual dictates of insecure God- parents, all in the name of religious worship. I must seek to learn a new language, new divine geometry, new rituals and ceremonies and be expected to stick my nose up some egotistical leaders ass, who cannot guarantee me paradise! Yet, when I an African born in America of Native Ancestry stands and chooses to walk to the drummer I hear, Im labeled as crazy. If I chose to just sit at sunset and give simple thanks for life, Im labeled a disbeliever. I ask when did it become so difficult to worship God? I say these things not only as a critical observer but also as a one time active participant.

It was the simple life of the seers and sages that allowed them access the higher wisdom of God. Worship for them was simple, they saw God in everything! Yet, we tend to make God in our image, we confine God to our concepts, we personalize God based on our limited understanding and then seek to make others believe as we say. We take sword in hand and say God or death! Today we kill the ambition of the believers, we kill their enthusiasm, here they come to God for salvation, only to find a religious hierarchy which is full of power hungry individuals eager to get their mind into your mind and destroy you. We want people to be our clones, so we can say look at my Godchildren! Look at my flock! Never saying look at what God has done, we always say look at what I have done. When did it become so difficult to worship God?

For the Quran says, That which you worship besides Allah, were a fly to take a morsel of food they have not the power to call it back! Here I am running behind those who cannot call a fly back if it were to take a morsel of food. This thing is like a circus midway, as you walk down the midway everyone is calling you to come into their tent because they have the best show. Today as one walk through the circus midway of religions, everyone is calling you to come to their meeting or join their religion because they have the sure way to truth and redemption. Nothing could be the farthest from the truth for me, I seek to realize the God of self and walk in the light of those seers and sages who understood that all of creation was a manifestation of God, they looked to the unity of creation and not the diversity of human ideas. They respected all they came in contact with for they knew it was God. Today we seek to have mega religious institutions and shallow people. Everyone is looking to find fault, no one is caring from the heart. Everyone wants credit but few give credit to God! Today, I must dress a certain way, I must pray a certain way, I must

walk a certain way, I must fall in line like every one else. Yet, no one can come to me and say for sure if you follow what I say you will go to heaven! When did it become so difficult to worship God? If God is in me and I worship and honor me is not that worshiping God? I ask you when did it become so difficult to Worship God? The sun rises and sets each day in honor of its Creator, the moon goes through its stages of manifestation in honor of its Creator, the flowers grow and bloom, the plants grown and mature, the animals grow and mature all in honor of the Creator, yet man will not allow other men to grow and mature as God would have them to grow and mature. Systems are set up to determine the manner in which one is to grow spiritually and if you do not fit into any of these systems then you are an enemy and not a believer in God. You mean to tell me because I do not believe in Jesus as you believe that I do not know God? You mean to tell me because I do not know Muhammad as you know Muhammad that I am a disbeliever, you mean to tell me because I do not follow the way you say means that I will not know paradise? Such is not the case, for the God I know is a loving and forgiving God. The God I know is both father and mother and yet stands beyond all gender classifications. The God I know is both Gracious and Merciful, both loving and caring, both protector and nurturer. The God I know is as a mother to its child, providing guidance in a loving manner, teaching me to love unconditionally. The God I know says to me that I do not have to walk this earth in fear. The God I know says that I can open my heart to all of creation and that I can trust that all is working for my very good. The God I know says to me, My Child it is I alone that you are to worship and I am all about you. It is I that you should turn to in times of need and pain, also in times of Joy and comfort, do not forget me. It is a God like this that I seek to turn to in humility and give thanks for this lifes walk on this wonderful earth. I thank God for each breath I have. I thank God for being able to see such

wonderful sun rise and sun sets, for the songs of the birds and the conversations of the crickets. I thank God for the tenderness of my wives hands and the unconditional love that they both have shown in the raising of our children. I thank this wonderful God for the challenges in my life for it gives me the opportunity to prove my mantel. Yes, I thank God, for life. I choose not to try and make others believe and see as I see for this life is both a collective and personal experience. While we all have had sex, it is still a personal experience. It is the Divine intercourse with God that allows one to become pregnant with unlimited possibilities. We all should be free to give birth to the glory of God as we experience it without the dictates of others. When we see the color red do we all see the same color or hue? I think not, if we do, how can you determine that we see the same hue of red, you cannot. Such is the same, you cannot determine for me the color or hue of God that I see. I ask that you do not come to me trying to make me into something that I am not. I am one who has been lost from his ancestral connection and am just now coming back in contact with it. It is to the universe that I seek to open and ask my ancestors for guidance and to forgive me for my arrogance and disrespect. For I have been open to listen to everyone but them. I do not know them. Just as my ancestral homeland has been disrespected and plundered so has my psyche. Everyone has come into our homeland and taken what they wanted, kept us behind time and caused confusion among our leaders. Such is the same with everyone seeking to come into my mind and keep me from realizing God for myself, they have come with their brand of religion designed to cause confusion in my consciousness. Just as it was not until those leaders in my homeland threw out the foreigners, that they were able to get themselves together. I too must throw out all that is foreign to my spirit; all that does not move in harmony with my view of life must go. I must remove all elements that keep me in a stage of depression concerning my connection with God. I must

reach back in time and access the humility of my Ancestors and seek to restore the worship of God in a celebratory sense. When was the last time I truly celebrated God in my being? When was the last time I was able to step outside of what someone else has said to me concerning God and truly see God for myself? I have come to realize this world has had me so tied up in the worship of God for material things. I seek to learn the ritual and spells that will bring me material stuff. I now seek to learn the rituals that bring me close to God, closer to knowing God as me. It was once said, God if I worship you for fear of hell cast me into hell, If I worship you for the desire of paradise deny me paradise. God just let me know you, just let me honor and worship you with all that I am. I know if I become as a trusting child about you then all will be taken care of. I must trust that you have me in your hands, that just as a mother cares for her child you will care for me. As I look at your creation I see that you have placed in the mother all the child needs. The mother has food in her breast, she has love in her heart and she will fight and protect her child. God let me feel that I am your child protected by its mother. God let me sit still in your love and know that you are God. I pray that you will bring peace to humanity and that we all can experience your love without all of the political motivations. I your child am hurting and it is only you who can heal me. So if I choose to sit here on this hill and wait for you, I ask to be left alone. I have been blessed to see another day and it is on this day that I offer myself to thee. I ask you, when did it become so difficult to worship God? Here you take the Bible, a book, which is based on African tradition and philosophy, you give it a European slant and tell me its the word of God! Yet, you change the translation, interpretation and interpolation whenever you chose. Now when I begin to read it and I give interpretation to it based on my

cultural understanding you jump and raise hell, telling me that I am not qualified to do so! Please tell me: when did it become so difficult to worship God? You take a Black Man paint him white make him the son of God and then in his name you commit all kinds of devilish acts! You tell me that it is only through your Jesus Christ that I can know salvation, yet would you really seek salvation from Jesus if you accepted the fact that he was a black man as history tells us he was? It is not my desire to turn this into a political historical debate for that has been handled by scholars. My concern is when did it become so difficult to worship God? All the lies, all the false information and yet we go along living our lives in the shadow of gross hypocrites. Today we take a traditional African religion, adopt its practices, yet modify it to suit our western indoctrination. We take Godchildren make them our slaves; we commit spiritual incest with our Goddaughters and charge enormous fees for initiation. We take the simplicity of worshipping God and make it mysterious and difficult. You mean to tell me that God does not hear me unless I speak another language? Then why did God allow me to incarnate as I am? You mean that I must go to another country and accept another culture in order to be acceptable in the site of God? No, No, I am a child of God as I am and where I am! However you chose to look at it, I was born in American of African and Native American blood, here on this land, in this country is where I will find God and enlightenment. The same God that is elsewhere is here, here in this land, in my heart and will speak to me. I ask you, when did it become so difficult to worship God? Here you take something as simple as the sweat lodge ceremony and begin to conduct them for yourself and everyone is coming asking who authorized you to conduct sweats, or whom did you sweat with. Everyone wants to take Gods

gifts and claim them for themselves. We act as if ritual and ceremony is our exclusive property and one is trespassing if you adopt the rituals and ceremonies. Even when it comes to accepting a religion we get all up in arms. If a white person accepts a black religion then we are screaming. I a black person go to a white church then the church is in an up roar. Everyone is running around pretending to be holy and righteous, putting on these false faces of piety, while all the time committing the worst act towards humanity. We have made God a politician in the worse sense. It is just like the democrats and republicans, I cant vote for you because I am a democrat and you are a republican never mind that you are the best qualified, the fact that you belong to a different party means I cannot vote for you. We do the same thing with God, I cannot like you or respect you because you are a Christian and I a Muslim, you are Yoruba and I Akan, and you are Hindu and I a Jew. We have all of these labels and have forgotten at a very fundamental level we are all HUMAN BEINGS! You seek to kill me in the name of your God and I seek to kill you in the name of mine! We all seek to keep women and minorities oppressed in the name of our God and yet we put a face up to the world as if we are saints. I ask you when did it become so difficult to worship God? In the name of God we wage wars, we enslave people, we pollute the air, rape the earth and make life a living hell. Here you have simple men and women who lived in caves and owned nothing but the loincloth on their backs and yet they have come forth with profound wisdom that is changing our lives. Simple men and women who teach to get beyond your desires, control your thoughts, watch your diet and most of all they teach that the God you seek is in you as you. Yet, this is labeled as new age crackery. You have taken great spiritual teachings institutionalized them in capitalistic clothing and now you want me to fall in line like everyone else!

When did it become so difficult to worship God? According to Swami Rama, in his book , Spirituality, Transformation within and without , page 110, he states: The Ego related to the realm of spirituality is more subtle and injurious than the ego arising out of ones worldly success. In the west we find the manifestation of inflated ego associated with worldly success. If you are popular, wealthy, or etc, the ego tends to be inflated, the greater your status in the western world the more inflated your ego is. We are a society of ego-tripping adolescences boasting in our material opulence, we are identified by our possessions. It is so epidemic until it drives us to live beyond our means in an effort to belong and impress others. Now take that same western ego arrogance and add it to the realm of spirituality and you have a very volatile mixture which is exploding all over the country. Ego driven socalled spiritual leaders who are causing havoc in the lives of others, here we bring the same western arrogance to Ifa. If one had a paternalistic attitude towards Africans born in America before Ifa and spirituality then it may be the same but at a much more subtle and insidious level. At the subconscious level I ( Africans and Whites) have to validate this religious experience for the nonunderstanding Africans born in America. Then you have the Mr. or Mrs. super conscious and spiritual Blacks who feel that they must validate this religion for their blind , death and dumb brothers and sisters. They stand as all knowing individuals who have not the power to call a fly back if it took a morsel of food. Yet they want to dictate someones life and make it difficult and complicated. If God has placed you in my life to teach me and show me the way then do that, however do not try to dictate my reality. When did it become so difficult to worship God?

No matter where you go, someone wants you to stick your nose up the posterior anatomy of a so-called spiritual leader and smell the feces of an undigested bastardized religious system that was torn up and distorted by imperialistic maniacs! No matter where you turn the stench from this imperialism fills the air of our worship. This new order of equating money and power with religious freedom and liberation is no more than an illusion. The more money you have, the size of your flock all supposedly speak to Gods blessing on you, however it could speak to your ability to trick and hypnotize the people and keep them blind. As one looks into the core of each belief system there you will find the hand of patriarchy turning the wheels of worship to the tune of, my way or the high way. What makes modern day Yorubas here in the west think they have the true traditional religion, when European colonialism modified it? What makes any follower of present day religions think they have the truth in their belief system, when they all have been the victims of religious rape and cultural incest? If purity in worship is to come today then it must come in a revealed manner as it was in the beginning, anything less is always subject is always filtered through imperialistic lenses. The Hindu caste system, while the original intent was for the ordering of society, has been infested with the stench of racism that eclipses the racism in America. In both places those of African decent are out castes and are treated as such. Most of us in America spend the majority of our time trying to prove we are worthy to come to the table, a table that was never meant for us. How can we speak of a loving God, universal beliefs and have such insidious separation and oppression in these glorious systems? How can we say we are all Gods children or how can we say this is all one consciousness and yet localize this consciousness in the frame of our limited egos and oppress others? How can we say this is an illusion and yet oppress others as if this is the ultimate reality? If one is to be truly free they must break away from all forms

of indoctrination and allow the pure light of revelation to descend on them, they must have their own personal experience of the Divine Holy !! We stand at the gates of Buddhism begging for equality! And it was our brother Buddha who formed his teachings as a protest again inequality! He sought enlightenment for himself, so dont scream when I seek it for myself! He went out and sat under a tree!, a simple tree and received enlightenment! We stand at the gates of Islam, Christianity, and Judaism begging for equality, while our own people, Africans, peel our heads with initiations into systems that were dismantled by Europeans and Asian conquers. Am I to go through an initiation to Shango and become a womanizing pimp with the gift of gab? Am I to go through an initiation to Oshun and become a glorified whore? Am I, a socalled vegetarian, suppose to cut a chicken neck to feed a rock in a pot and then throw the chicken away while people go hungry? Is this no more that extreme selfishness in the name of religion? I want the favor of the Gods so the chicken must suffer? Why dont I sacrifice the chicken in myself!? Why dont I develop the courage to face my fears? Have not our people given enough blood? Blood sacrifices are made daily to the demon of war and self hatred in this country and around the world. What demon received the blood sacrifices of 9/11? What demon received the blood sacrifices of the middle passages and slavery? What demon receives the blood sacrifices each day as we black men wholesale kill each other? Please tell me how can a little chicken make a difference, with all the blood that we have spilled and continue to spill in honor to the demon of selfishness, vanity, greed, jealousy and hatred? Please tell me when did it become so difficult to worship God? Am I to talk of great Kemetic Kingdoms while still looking through European lenses, trying to figure out how to parlay this into a money making business? Here we take a system such as yoga; we institutionalize it, make certification mandatory, appealing to our childish need for validation and authority in our lives, and charge great sums of money under the cover of enlightenment! When

did it become so hard and expensive to worship God? The yogis that taught yoga had nothing but love for humanity and wanted to see humanity evolve. Yet, we have taken their teachings and seek to become rich all in the name of God. Did you know that today you can get a black belt in martial arts through the mail! Get anything you want on ebay, even enlightenment!

And yet the question still remains, when did it become so difficult to worship God? In the mist of all the confusion that the human intellect has brought to bear on itself, even the simple worship of God has taken on the inescapable burden of complexity being equated to devotion. All of the elaborate ceremonies and rituals have deteriorated into empty shows of individuals going through the motions or caught in the fantasy of spirit possession which is no more than their own emotional frustrations mixed with mental illusions being expressed.

When did it become so difficult to worship God? Now I must bow before you, I must lay down on the floor before a pot or person in a show of humility and submission, when in reality I have not bowed down my spirit before God. Now I must come up with thousands of dollars to be made to be initiated. Then you take me through a 7 day ceremony, you shave my head, you shave my pockets, you molest my woman and instill fear in me that Orisha will do me in if I do not do such and such. I pay all of this money for pots, for statues, for spiritual baths, for sacrifice of animals and the list goes on, all in the name of getting ME together. However, if it is about getting closer to God and my purpose on earth then it seems to me for me to be concern about me and not Thee is nothing but selfishness and as I understand it, selfishness will not get me

closer to God. Now I may be wrong and am open for correction, but it seems to me that the worship of God is to complicated.

Today in the mist of romantic relationships with African Traditional Religions (ATR) one looks up and they are caught in religious wars or as one sister put it, Ifa Wars, God children against other God children, different houses against different houses, everyone claiming that they have the right way. There is so much jockeying for positions on the world stage, all wanting to lead the way, yet lead the way to what and where? Lead the way back to God? That being the case then it seems to me that it should not be so difficult and confusing with all of this external show and grand standing. Everyone is claiming to know the way and have the way, however upon closer examination it is clear that those who say dont know and those who know dont say!

Those of us born in America who seeks to adhere to African Traditional Religions are subjected to a world of secrecy, strict rules and regulations, expensive ceremonies and rituals and initiations that require one to take out a second mortgage. In many cases initiation have become an industry, like everything in this society, if you can pay, you can play! After submitting ones consciousnesses to others and being reduced to the level of a child, then you get exposed to all manner of backbiting, slander, psychic and spiritual attacks and sexual abuse all in the name of an African God who was punked out during the colonial occupation of Africa! I ask you, when did it become so difficult to worship God? Here, I come to you with an open mind and heart and you make me not only your religious slave but your concubine as well! You feed my mind a steady diet of fear, fear and more fear. If I do not submit to you and your dogmatic rhetoric then this vengeful God is going to destroy me. Next, those of you with the juice use your abilities to bring all

sorts of spiritual afflictions on me, would not it be something if we were to use our spiritual powers and gifts to heal the world and not to fortify our fragile egos? I ask you when did it become so difficult to worship God?

Then there is the question of whether or not one is following and doing it as tradition dictates? All manner and criticism is leveled at individuals who do not do it as dictated by the so-called God fathers and mothers of these belief systems. Yet, it seems to me that little or no thought is given to the remote possibility that tradition as we knew it is no longer available? Do we take into account the fact that human consciousness has evolved from the time of the founding fathers up to this date. Thus here we are trying to fit an ancient methodology on an evolved body. I am not advocating the disposal of tradition, I am only seeking to adhere to the saying, If I stand tall it is because I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors. That being said means if am standing on your shoulders that means I might be able to see that which you do not see! We have entered a time when we must examine the development of human consciousness lets say over the past five thousand years and how does this evolution and development of consciousness fit into the life style of today? During ancient times human beings were finely attuned to the invisible world of the gods, can we say the same today? No, we are finely attuned to material opulence, run away technology, power and sex. We drive down the road texting, drinking our Star Bucks coffee late and cursing out the person in front of us!!! Yet on our day of worship, be it Sunday, Saturday or Friday we go into our holy places of worship, get spiritually cleans so we can start the cycle all over again. I ask you when did it become so hard to worship God.

Even today, while yoga or I should I say the practice of the physical aspects of yoga has grown to a billion dollar a year industry, in the face of being regulated; now people are crying that yoga is a religion!!! Before the threat of

regulation everyone was in agreement that yoga was not a religion, but a spiritual practice, however in our usual style when money is involved the hypocrite will come out and God will be prostituted to meet our selfish needs. When did it become so difficult to worship God?

Now do not miss understand me, I would love to have a big congregation, many followers, fame and fortune but at what price? One cannot comprise their values and beliefs. Yes, I would love to be a part of the inner circle and enjoy the accolades of people, yet I stand on the outside looking in. I stand with my face pressed up against the window longing to be a part of what? Part of a carnival atmosphere, full of circus tents each inviting me in to enjoy their version of God? Yet because of two near death experiences I find myself a seeker whose spiritual inquiries have placed me outside the established religious hierarchies. I have become disillusioned with the ritual practices of the established religions of today, that is one of the reason I moved towards African traditional religion only to find the hierarchies there in full bloom! I am not looking for magic, myth, rational explanations but am seeking the integrated synthesis of all belief systems via experience. I have grown tired of my own verbal diarrhea as well as others. I find myself at odds with the complex hierarchies of Priest, Babalawos, Imams, Mullahs, Ministers, Bishops, their ritual and status. I guess you can characterize me as a drop out from mainstream religion. I am looking for Living liberation or the soul awake in this life time. I have had the experience on dwelling in the unified field and I seek to live in that reality. As a result of this experience I fully agree and seek to set myself in accord with the sages and seers of old who insisted that realization of the true self or Higher self can be developed, not through external religious ritual, but through direct and persistent inner investigation of the body, mind spirit complex i.e. direct experience. It is through the power of self-reliance, self-examination and self-development that we find our way to the throne of

God, not through the failed musings of some insecure maniac who hides behind religion! When did it become so difficult to worship God?