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Ways t o

A Spiritual Guide for Women


Ways t o

This book gives readers great ideas to manage their stress. richard paul evans,
#1 New York Times bestselling author of The Christmas Box and The Walk

A Spiritual Guide for Women

with inspirational stories


Ways to Manage Stress A Spiritual Guide for Women Tatiana Sprl Grant Copyright 2013 by Tatiana Sprl Grant All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without specific written permission from the publisher. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. The identities and situations of individuals in the stories contained in this book may have been altered to protect their privacy. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. The information contained in this book is not intended as a substitute for appropriate or necessary professional medical or psychological care. Please review any approaches you are considering implementing into your life with your trusted health care provider. BookWise Publishing www.bookwisepublishing.com Book design: Tatiana Sprl Grant and Eden Graphics, Inc., Salt Lake City, Utah www.edengraphics.net

The purpose of this Book

ve always been interested in understanding the mind and finding ways to help people improve their lives. Ten people can go through the same experience and have ten different reactions. Peoples life experiences can determine how they will react, but there is so much more behind their reactions: their faith, upbringing, morals and beliefs, the environment that they were brought up in, and many other aspects of life can help define a persons personality and resilience. Several years ago I went to a life coach who told me about my gift for putting resources and people together. Ive done this several times in various ways. Im hoping that all the knowledge I have gained throughout my life and while studying for my masters degree in counseling will continue helping me bring resources and people together. This book contains the information Ive collected. I am always on the lookout for inspirational ideas. Ive learned that inspirational selfhelp materials give me strength and urge me to keep going. I want to share these things so that my readers can also find the best way to take good care of themselves. I write about my own experiences. Use my examples to think about your own experiences. Everybody has a story to share. We need to learn from each other, from mistakes and from accomplishments. Create a better life for yourself.

ISBN: 978-1-60645-119-9 Library of Congress Control Number: 2013904074 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Printing PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA


he intended audience for this book is any woman of faith, regardless of religion. It can help single, divorced, widowed, and married women, from teenage girls to elderly women, living alone or with someone, from stay-at-home moms to working women. You can only educate one person at a time, but once you educate a woman, you educate a family and a generation to come. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted in Great Quotes from Great Leaders, published by Simple Truths, Women are like teabags. We dont know our true strength until we are in hot water! Enjoy the journey.

How to use this book

Find Me Online
I would love to hear your feedback: sites.google.com/site/waystomanagestressbook www.facebook.com/WaysToManageStressBook waystomanagestressbook.blogspot.com

his book will help women learn how to relieve stress. Women today have many stresses that are much different than previous generations. It seems like more diverse work is required, but there is less time to do it. We all try to be Wonder Woman at one time or another in our lives. We cant do it all, and we shouldnt be expected to. Before I was able to control my stress, I didnt think rationally. Little things became big monsters. I couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel. I took everything upon myself and didnt expect the day to end until I finished. I deprived myself of living a good life because I was always on the go. As I read many books and articles and listened to many inspirational people, I realized that nobody could help me unless I reached out for help. When I became a counselor, I realized that I couldnt help somebody that doesnt know or admit that they need help. No one can force things upon people who arent ready forchange. Many times we hear about an idea and we think it is good, but really never take the initiative to do anything about it. Ive done the same many times. That is why I like it when authors provide a space in their books for the reader to write while they are reading. I plan on doing the same in this book. This book offers 101 practical ways at no or very little cost to minimize or eliminate stress. Womenmustshiftthe way they think and change the way they live to reduce stress in their lives. They need to start listening to their bodies and recognizing the signs of stress. Excessive and frequent stress can cause many illnesses. Women need to learn how to protect their bodies and souls so they wont be affected negatively byeveryday stress. So take the opportunity to try something new.

Spirit Ways ual
Total wellness in this area is the ability to find meaningful purpose in life. Do things that respect your inner values while seeking harmony between yourself and your Spirituality. Believe in a higher power.

16. Charity never fails

pportunities to serve are plentiful. Charity never fails. This is the best way to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. We have charitable Christmas traditions in our family and we look forward to the holiday season because of it. When I was a teenager, I participated in a church activity when we went to an orphanage. I wasnt very enthusiastic about it, but I felt obligated because my father was an ecclesiastical leader. My reluctance disappeared soon after we arrived. I distinctly remember wanting to take all the children home with me. I have a personal goal to help these children one day to have a better life through education. We should aim to help less fortunate children succeed. We should do things for others in need. Remember what kind acts others have done for you and start a chain reaction to bring more charity to the world. I know a lady who was at Costco. In front of her was another lady whose debit card was declined. She told the woman in front of her not to worry and that she would pay for her groceries. We should always aim for service and kindness. Committing random acts of kindness like smiling at a stranger or offering to help a neighbor can actually help recharge our own emotional batteries. We will also teach our children important lessons in life. This is what living in society is all about. As my mom says, Everybody gives what they have, but sometimes their spirits really dont have anything to share.

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.
Hindu Proverb

Physical Healh t
Total wellness in this area means consciously taking time to take care of yourself. Exercise and rest while eating nutritiously. Avoid all habits destructive to your body.

21. Exercise 20 minutes a Day

NYTHING counts! I really dont like exercising, but anything is better than nothing! Ive learned that I enjoy sports, so I dont see sports as exercise. The same is true when I go for a walk. I know exercise is good, but my problem is that Im not a gym person. Ive found creative ways to exercise so that it doesnt seem like exercise. Another way I have found to disguise exercise is to do it while I watch something that I have recorded on my DVR. It is usually an episode of the Oprah show. I watch it while my daughter is having her afternoon nap. Walking instead of driving is another way. You will burn calories, not be sedentary, and do the good your body needs! Remember the cost of gasoline the next time youre planning to drive just down the street. This alone should motivate you. Exercise provides psychological and physical benefits. Ive never met any overweight athletes. One of the main reasons people exercise is that it makes them feel good and helps them control stress. Stress makes the body produce the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. The consequence is that our body gets into a self-defense mode and tenses our muscles. Exercise releases some of the tension and it can also give us endorphins. I should be a lot better about exercise, but one thing I never do is complain about walking. Its an exercise I can do. Another thing I love to do is Zumba. I feel like I am dancing more than exercising, and I love to dance. Finding something you enjoy doing is a great way to exercise.

Determine never to be idle . . . It is wonderful much may be done if we are always doing.
Great Quotes from Great Leaders Simple Truths

Thomas Jefferson

Emot Healh ional t
Some characteristics of total wellness are knowing and understanding your own emotions. Expressing your emotions and knowing how to communicate them is extremely important. Knowing how to control your emotions in times of adversity shows self mastery. Emotional health is essential to a good life. Always take care of your emotions.

31. Take care of your own needs

o you remember the saying, If mama aint happy, nobodys happy? The mother is the structure of the home; a woman must organize her life so her own needs are met along with others needs. There is no magic answer to cope with stressful times, but here are some tips to follow: Take care of yourself so that you can keep going for the long haul; be nice to yourself Give yourself a break; your work wont go away, so take a break Give your child a break, but children need the security provided by firm, stable rules and limits Consider getting a babysitter to give yourself some time alone; surround yourself with people who help relieve your stress, not add to it Your office will survive if you dont go to work for a day; pay attention to stress signs and triggers Churches, temples, and other religious institutions can be a source of comfort in stressful times Beware of self-destructive coping mechanisms Dont procrastinate; just this tip will alleviate stress Dont stress about relationships Kahlil Gibran said, Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all. Women juggle work, kids, husband, family, home, errands, cleaning, helping, driving, friends, etc. As you do so you may neglect the most important personyourself! This can become a self-destructive habit. To balance things out, we must take care of all of our needs. All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.
Mahatma Gandhi

Relaxat ion
Wellness in this area is related to the level of stress you identify with. If your perceived stress is high, then your level of wellness is low. It is very important to relax and meditate to achieve total wellness. Take care of yourself as a whole, that is why using relaxation techniques is important for your wellness.

45. Breathing and Yoga

s a counselor, I have learned that when people are crying hysterically, it is time to inhale and exhale very slowly. In order to calm down, slow breathing down to the point that it almost feels unnatural. Recently I went to a conference on depression. They talked about a new technique: deep breathing. It comes from India and has been proven to reduce depression up to seventy-three percent. If it has such a high success rate with depression, Im sure its just as good for stress. Yoga has many benefits. It harmonizes the mind and the body. It is no longer a secret that the will of the mind has enabled people to achieve extraordinary physical feats. The benefits prove beyond a doubt the connection between the mind and body. Its often called faith. Arent we taught that if we had enough faith we could move a mountain? Dont you suppose that with a much lower amount of faith we can achieve extraordinary physical achievements? My mom has practiced yoga since I was little, and I have personally witnessed the positive impact it has had on her life. When the confusions and conflicts in your mind weigh heavily upon you, yoga and meditation help the mind work in sync with the body. Stress, which can kill you and affect all parts of your physical and emotional systems, may disappear through practicing yoga and meditation. Both disciplines work together to achieve the common goal of unity of mind, body, and spirita state of eternal bliss.

For breath is life, and if you breathe well you will live long on earth.
Sanskrit Proverb

Ment Heal h al t
Total wellness in this area is to see the glass half full. It is seeing lifes challenges as positive growth opportunities. Know your needs and take care of them. Mental health lets you live in peace with yourself and others and to manage problems in your life.

61. Use your stress in a positive way

tress can be a positive thing. You just need to use it as a warning sign and learn from what it is telling you. It may be time for a break, or it may signal an opportunity for change. Try not to feel fear; only believe. Stress can bring clarity of thought and motivation to improve your life. Too much stress is bad for your mental and physical health, but some stress is beneficial. Be grateful for the stress in your life. Lifes not about waiting for the storms to pass, but its about learning to make the best from what life gives you. With every difficulty comes opportunity if you are ready for it. The positive stress is like a book I bought called 212The Extra Degree by Sam Parker and Mac Anderson. It says, At 211 degrees, water is hot. At 212 degrees, it boils. And with boiling water comes steam. And steam can power a locomotive. The one extra degree . . . makes all the difference. The extra effort, walking the extra mile, makes the difference and separates the good from great. Its just like the fish market in Seattle, Washington that became famous worldwide because of their customer service. Some companies use it as a training example. Theres a fine line between being mediocre and being an example. Life requires daily adjustments. Dont complain about positive stress in your life, view it as an opportunity. When reluctant to change, think of the beauty of spring and fall. Youve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
Irish Saying

Personal Growt h
Some characteristics of total wellness in this area are to recognize our personal needs as we strive to become the best possible person. Manage and market ourselves better. Go back to basics with manners, knowing the importance of education, having social skills and finding our calling in life. We must achieve several goals for our personal growth.

68. Believe in yourself

othing promotes success more than believing in yourself. While in my late teens I worked as a model. If I went into an audition feeling confident, I always got the job. When I wasnt confident, I felt like everyone around me was better. I quickly learned that I had to believe in myself in order to get the job. Even today I can go into a job interview and know whether I will get the job based on how I am feeling about myself. Always believe in yourself and work on your self-esteem. Many vulnerable girls who lack self-esteem have mothers who also lack selfesteem. Believe in yourself! It is good for you and your children. As women, we are responsible for teaching our children or helping children around us. We need to teach them by example. Having positive self-esteem is extremely important when viewed in this light. Ghandi said, Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. It is very important to remember that believing in ourselves today and developing our personal growth will help expand our ideals. When we follow our instincts, we show ourselves how much wisdom we have.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face . . . we must do that which we think we cannot.
Great Quotes from Great Leaders Simple Truths

Walt Disney

Total wellness in this area is to budget well your time and resources. Many marital problems are due to bad finances. It is the number one reason for divorce. Single and married people fall into the rat race every month and dont know how to get out of it. They live beyond their means. They dont know how to manage their money. Bankruptcy and collections arent fun games to play. Many people shop to help themselves feel better, but they are just creating even more serious problems in their lives. People ruin their lives with temporary pleasures that have long-term consequences. Be on top of your finances.

91. Donate
his is a dear subject to me. My mother has always given to others for as long as I can remember. I recall watching my mom prepare food to give to the needy. I saw her gather up clothes that didnt fit or that she couldnt stand to look at anymore. She always said that we could always get more clothing and that there were others out there who needed the clothes much more than we could ever comprehend. Ive always loved to get clothing together to donate. An acquaintance of mine asked if a group I belonged to could do a drive for a new family that was moving to the U.S. She said they needed everything. I thought that it was too bad that while de-cluttering we had held several garage sales and donated several things. I went to our food storage and started looking at things that we wouldnt eat before they expired. I was surprised at how many things were near expiration that I would likely have had to throw away. I called my acquaintance and asked her to come and pick up some stuff. The father of the family came along. When I met him, I went back to my food storage and looked for more things I could give. They left with an SUV full of food. We have wonderful traditions in our family. As a teenager doing my internship for college, I was inspired by a wealthy man I saw driving home one day. It was the week of Christmas and this man would open his trunk at every stoplight where there were poor kids and get toys out for them. He inspired me to always donate to the less fortunate.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Winston Churchill

Great Quotes from Great Leaders Simple Truths

95. Break big jobs into small tasks

ust like goal setting, we also need to break big jobs into smaller tasks. Imagine you need to remodel your entire home. Unless you have unlimited resources, you probably have to live in the house while remodeling. Imagine that you decide to remodel your kitchen. You will need to break it down. You might choose to break the job up into the appliances, the sink, the cabinets, the countertops, the floors, the lights, and the walls. You can see how it is easy to get a major project and start dividing it into smaller projects. Each will in turn have other smaller tasks. For example under appliances are the refrigerator, microwave, dishwasher, stove, oven, and various smaller appliances. Focus on what kind of refrigerator. Continue dividing the project until it is composed of small, easy-to-accomplish tasks. Slowly but surely you will get every task completed. Mark Twain said, The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. Many times we will get overwhelmed and cant even look at a project. I shut down. If I cant see the outcome or know how to break it into smaller tasks, I just cant even deal with it. You wont ever achieve your task if you dont start. Do a small part every day and soon you will complete a big task without realizing how you got there. Have a to do list each day. At the end of the week notice all youve accomplished!

Org ional anizat

Some good habits in this area can reduce the amount of stress you feel in your daily life. It will be easier to get things done. Time management and organization are very important to keep your stress level low. Organization is everything in life.

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
Great Quotes from Great Leaders Simple Truths

Abraham Lincoln

About me
have been in event planning and in the travel and tourism field since college. I was born in Brazil and as an infant I lived in Europe. As a child I was brought up in Canada. Ive been exposed to many cultures and many lifestyles and consider myself a citizen of the world. During my teen years, I moved back to Brazil, where I learned much about life. I saw the life I wanted to live and learned how to live it. I gained friends for life, and I learned a way of living. A job and a new opportunity made me move to the United States. I had to learn who I was all over again. My once prestigious name in the industry and among members of my church meant nothing here. People started taking me for granted because they knew nothing about me or my family. I started all over again from scratch and I didnt like it. I felt an enormous amount of stress trying to prove my capabilities, my talents, and my skills. I tried to be Wonder Woman, but soon found out that all I was doing was slowly destroying myself with all that stress. One day in church, just before a new year began, I leaned over to my husband and started to cry. I told him I hated my life, I hated living here, I hated the new me, and I was going to do something about it. I came to the sad realization that my once successful career would take me nowhere here. I decided to change careers. I paid a life coach to guide me, and soon after I learned that I was very good at helping people and putting resources and people together. One thing led to another, and in a few months I started my masters in counseling. Education has always been important to me. I learned

another passion and something else that I am good at. While in the pursuit of helping others, I realized that many people in the U.S. are stressed and need a little help. I decided I could help others by sharing the knowledge that my Heavenly Father has graciously given to me. I am a school counselor (MS/MC), so I emphasize being the best that a person can be. I tell people that if they do their best, theyll never disappoint themselves. I also emphasize education and career. I strongly believe that people wont change until they are ready to do so. I believe that they need to know their goals and purpose in life to be happy. Everything we do has consequences, good or bad. I tell others to always live so they dont regret the choices they make. Many years ago I started to coach people. I love coaching because it helps people progress toward their goals and find what their life objectives are. I feel happy because I know I have made a difference in peoples lives and they have thanked me for it. I am so grateful for the opportunity to help people. I always learn something new when I help someone. Therefore, Im also helping my own development. Gaining knowledge is very important to me. I have a favorite song that says Because I have been given much I too must give. I truly believe that I have been very blessed. I want to share what I have learned with others and whenever possible guide people to live better lives. I try to remember that The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. (Helen Keller, Great Quotes from Great Leaders Simple Truths) Its important to realize that all experiences teach us something, that we grow, and that we need to develop our souls. Learn each day. Each day is a miracle that God gives us.



A Spiritual Guide for Women
Stress is a normal part of life that can help us learn and grow. Stress is created simply by the act of living. We are exposed to some good stressors and some bad stressors. Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stressors cause the most damaging types of stress. We all have our own definitions of stress and know what we refer as stress in our lives.

Women are bombarded with stress every day. This book will not identify or classify stress. Knowing how to take care of yourself can help you manage your stress. The goal of this book is to give you a quick reference guide containing ways to reduce what you see as stress in your life. Specific ideas will be given for you in the following areas: Spiritual Ways Physical Health Emotional Health Relaxation Mental Health Personal Growth Financial Organizational

This book gives readers great ideas to manage their stress. richard paul evans,
#1 New York Times bestselling author of The Christmas Box and The Walk

$14.95 US

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