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Needs

Explanations > Needs Needs models | Individual needs | So what?

What are needs? Needs are a kind of natural mental programming that make us want things. They essentially motivate us into action as a stimulated need leads to the inner tension that drives us into action.

Needs models
There are a number of theories and models of motivation that have been proposed, including:

Actualizer Needs: A whole set for actualizers. Argyris' Governing Values: Needs for career success. Berne's Six Hungers: Drivers from Transactional Analysis. Career Anchors: What drives you to particular careers. CIA Needs Model: A useful changing-minds model. o Internal CIA Conflicts: How CIA needs conflict with themselves and one another. Control Conflict: The issue of managing risk. Identity Conflict: Who am I? Doyal and Gough's Needs: Health and autonomous. Eight Need Domains: Where other needs may be found. ERG Theory: Alderfer reduced Maslow's hierarchy to three key needs in 1972. Evolutionary Needs: Fundamental forces. Glasser's Five Needs are similar to Maslow's, but include fun! Herzberg's Motivation-Hygiene Theory was proposed in the 1960s. Horney's Neurotic Needs: What very anxious people seek. Kano's Needs were defined in 1984 with regard to customers, but are very relevant to all people. Maslow's Hierarchy is one of the best known descriptions of layered needs. Max-Neef Needs: Another recent list. McClelland's Acquired Needs Theory is also a three-need model. Mumford's Needs are four basic needs of workers. Murray's Needs are a longer list of needs identified by Henry A. Murray in 1938. Packard's Eight Hidden Needs: That advertisers target. Robbins' Six Needs: Three pairs of needs. Self-Determination Theory: Autonomy, relatedness, competence. Spitzer's Eight Desires: A recent collation. The Needs of Children: And the responsibility of parents. Yalom's Ultimate Concerns: Deep troubles we need to avoid.

Another useful view of needs is to understand the priorities of and differences between needs, wants and likes, and hence find where to focus your efforts and identify potential trade-offs.

Individual needs
If you want to get to descriptions of individual needs, here is a full list of needs that have more detailed descriptions available:

Arousal Beauty Belonging Certainty Challenge Completion Conformity Consistency Control Curiosity Esteem Explain Fairness Freedom

Health Identity Novelty Prediction Rationality Repetition Safety Self-actualization Status Understanding Winning

So what?
You can leverage needs in two ways, stimulating or satisfying them.

Stimulate needs
The simplest way of stimulating needs is to make them visible. Show people what they have not got. Show them the future, and how their needs might be met. If you have the power, you can even take things away from them (or just threaten to do so).

Satisfy needs
When people have needs (perhaps those which you have stimulated), you can promise to satisfy them. It puts you in a position of being able to negotiation with them. The more desperate the needs, the more you can require in exchange.

See also
Drive Theory, Deep Stuff, Evolution, Motivation, Inner systems, Four components of success, Satisfy Needs for Happiness, Graves' Levels

Need for Arousal


One of our deepest needs is for a sense of arousal where we are stimulated and 'feeling alive' in a 'hot' state. In this state we are energized in in any combination of cognitive, affective and physical arousal.

Hot and cold


Our emotions can described with a hot and cold temperature metaphor, where 'hot' is aroused and 'cold' is not aroused. A hot state is related to high levels of interest, emotion or activity. In a cold state we may be bored, flat and lethargic.

Preference
We each may have particular preferences for any of three different types of arousal. Some will seek the cerebral arousal of thinking and learning. Others find pleasure in physical activity. And each leads to different emotions. This can also lead to different personality types based on the desire for arousal and internal thresholds. In a dysfunctional sense, some people get stuck in unhelpful arousal, such as being a victim or self-harming. Children at school may also decide that learning is not cool and so shun intellectual arousal.

Acclimatization
A trap with arousal is that the stimulation we feel works mostly through the perceptual contrast between how we felt before and how we feel now. But people are supremely adaptable and what was fun can easily become the norm. A typical solution to this is to seek greater and great stimulation. This can become a slippery slope that descends into destructively addictive positions. The effect happens too with negative arousal and is is one reason why children become immured to punishment and so keep being 'naughty'.

So what?
Arousal is the basic motivated state which is good for persuasion as you can tap this basic desire. When persuading people, consider how they are aroused now and how you want that state to change. Do you want them to feel intellectually stimulated? What about being emotionally charged (and maybe more unthinking)? Do you want them to physically act, to get up and do something? Seek ways to manage how they are aroused (or not, as you need). Stimulate them or calm them down as appropriate.

See also
Curiosity, Novelty, Stimulation, Fight-or-Flight reaction, Games

The need for: Beauty


Beauty is a curious need, especially viewed in evolutionary terms. Physical attractiveness is understandable as a standard by which mates may be chosen, but the value of art or music for the survival of the species is not that clear.

Emotional appeal
No matter why it works, but beauty works directly on the emotions. If we like a person, a house, a painting or a pop song, we do not logically decompose it--we just like it. Aesthetics connects directly with our emotions, which makes it a subtle factors in the domain of persuasion.

Aesthetic vs. functional needs


The engineering discipline of Value Analysis recognizes two types of need when designing or improving something. Functional needs are to do with what the device does and how well it does it. For example, a car has functions of transporting people, displaying speed, and so on. Aesthetic needs are about how appealing the car is, from overall shape to the color of the speedometer needle. Engineers will thus reduce aesthetics to very precise terms, discovering the angles, colors, textures and so on that are most appealing to their customers. This can be a long process, but the rewards can be significant. People will pay a significant premium for something which is attractive rather than plainly functional.

Diff'rent strokes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and although there are some fairly common view of what a beautiful person looks like, there are also some very individual perceptions, as you can easily see by looking at the couples walking down any street. Beauty also changes across cultures. In some countries, especially where food is scarce, a fat person is considered particularly attractive.

Scarcity excites
When a woman covers up a part of her body, men will find it very attractive. For example in Victorian England, women covered up their ankles, and the sight of a bare lower leg was enough to make a man break out in a sweat (in fact they even put skirts on their chairs to cover up the chair legs to save some embarrassing moments). These days, the sight of a t-shirt-wearing Western woman in some Eastern countries will similarly heat up the local male populace. Not only does the scarcity principle make me want something, it will also make it more aesthetically attractive. Fleeting glimpses can seem wonderfully beautiful, where a long-hard stare might cool anyone's ardor.

So what?
Beauty sells. Use the common standards of aesthetics and beauty to make things unthinkingly attractive. You can also find those things for which the other person has particular mores. Find their fetish and unusual aesthetic appreciations, and play to these.

See also
Love

The need for: Belonging


The deep need to belong
The evolutionary driver
Some species live largely alone, whilst others have learned that if you form a tribe, you can share out the work and hence live more safely. Homo sapiens, of course, is one of the latter, tribal species. Living in the tribe does have its cost, however, as you have to abide by shared rules and cannot just do whatever you wish. Evolution has shown, however, that the benefits far outweigh these costs, and we are now preprogrammed with a deep need to belong that drives us towards forming and joining tribes.

Attachment and love


An infant starts out with an instinctive attachment to its mother. When taken away, there is a powerful sense of loss that makes the child cry out in seeking restoration of that close connection. Bowlby (1969, 1973, 1980) developed his Attachment Theory to describe the power and effects of how we attach ourselves to others.

Love is a form of attachment and we seek to get others to love us just as we love them. This creates a strong two-way bond that sustains attachment and satisfies belonging needs.

A basic Maslow need


Belonging is one of the more basic needs in Maslow's Hierarchy, where it comes just above health and safety. This low level indicates how fundamental this need is. Being below esteem shows how we first want to join a group, then gain its esteem. Although 'belonging' needs include love and affection, we will often prefer to be in a low social position within a group than leave and try to find another group. 'Belonging' need is stronger than 'esteem' need.

The limits to belonging


In the modern world there are many, many groups who want you to belong to them-- provided you are similar enough and can afford it, of course. Your interest, time and money are limited, so what do you do?

The hierarchy of belonging


Most people have a hierarchy of belonging that they will use when there is a conflict of interests between the various groups to which they belong For example, I belong to my family group first, then my immediate work group, then the larger company, then my country. It is not quite as simple as this and there are always exceptions and variations, but the principle is nevertheless useful.

A limited set of groups


In practice, the number of groups to which we can effectively belong is limited by time and the confusion and complexity of having to juggle too many priorities. Most people will have a short list of around three to five major affiliations. Other groups are secondary and they will pay attention to them 'when they have the time.'

Individual taste
Spears et al (2009) found that whilst people like a majority to share their opinion, they prefer to be part of a minority in matters of taste. This indicates the identity tension between seeking both shared identity and individual identity. We want to both belong and also to be separate.

So what?
So understand what groups the other person belongs to, and how attached they are to them. Then either play to the values and needs of those groups, or act to weaken their ties to groups which oppose your purpose. If you want to really influence someone, you must be in the same group as them. You can do this by joining one of their groups or having them join yours. You can also promise inclusion or threaten expulsion from a group where you hold sway (so work to achieve a position of influence within your own groups). The threat of being ostracized will scare many people into compliance. This approach is used a great deal, often on a very subtle level.

See also
Russell Spears, Naomi Ellemers, and Bertjan Doosje (2009). Strength in Numbers or Less Is More? A Matter of Opinion and a Question of Taste. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 8, 1099-1111

The need for: Certainty


A need we have that contributes to other needs is to be certain about what we know, do and say. Without certainty, we become anxious and uncomfortable.

What is certainty?
When we are certain about the world around us, we feel that we understand things, can predict what will happen, and are in control such that we can sustain oursafety. We will thus seek to understand and control in order to achieve certainty. Predictions which come true provide proof that we can continue to be certain about what we know.

The feeling of certainty


Certainty is felt as a comfortable feeling, can be sensed as smugness or even arrogance. Pride goes before a fall and over-certainty can make people so blind they do not see problems until they hit them in the face.

The effects of uncertainty


Uncertainty is uncomfortable and creates tensions that motivate us, although not always in the right direction.

Uncertainty causes anxiety

Certainty is often only noticed when it is below a certain(!) level. The feeling of uncertainty is uncomfortable and leads to anxiety. Unfortunately, as John F. Kennedy said, There is nothing as certain and unchanging as uncertainty and change. Many people spend their lives in search of certainty. Many psychiatric illnesses, from anorexia to compulsiveobsessive disorder, stem from the deep need for control and certainty that can never be found.

Uncertainty is confusing
Removing certainty often leads to confusion, which is a fundamental technique that underpins many other approaches to persuasion. A confused person will clutch at straws to regain their certainty.

So what?
So create uncertainty to motivate people. Confuse them or otherwise make them anxious. Show how the future is not are predictable as they thought. Then show them how they can be more certain. Lead them along the path to a predictable future. The opposite of certainty is confusion, which can be created by unexpected actions and words, complexity, etc. Keep them on their toes and stay one step ahead by being difficult to predict. Be careful with over-doing uncertainty. The end goal is to make them grasp at your straws, not to make them swim away from you.

The need for: Challenge


Think about a time when you were happy. There is a good chance that it was something to do with achieving something, maybe something that took some effort, where you were not sure of succeeding.

Flow
When we get engrossed in an interesting situation, we often lose track of time. Time flies when you're having fun, as they say. What is also interesting is that we even lose track of our selves. This is the state known as 'flow'. The paradox of this situation is that when we come back to ourselves, we feel particularly happy. It is as if getting away from our selves is good for us.

Autotelic personalities
In Csikszentmihayli's study of flow, he discovered a personality type that always seemed happy, no matter how poor or disadvantaged they were. What he found about these people was that they were always challenging themselves. They had small challenges throughout the day as well as longer-term life challenges. Throwing themselves into the challenge put them into flow and coming out with success made them happy. He called these people 'autotelic', from the Greek words 'auto', meaning 'self', and 'telos', meaning 'goal'. He also found people who found great difficulty being happy. These people were often very self-centered, to the point where they could not bear to give up their attention on themselves and hence could not get into flow.

So what?
Challenge people, but not so much they cannot succeed. Help them with their challenges, but not so much that they think you have stolen their success. Praise and recognize them when they succeed through real endeavor. A common young person's form of challenging a friend starts with 'I bet you can't...'

See also
Stimulation

References
Csikszentmihalyi (1990)

The need for: Completion of


Does the above title bother you? Did you ask 'Completion of what?' Things which are incomplete bother us, whether they are sentences or things we are doing.

What is it?
When things are complete, they are done and in the past and we do not need to think about them again. When they incomplete, Something which is incomplete is not certain and leaves us unsatisfied and seeking to resolve the incompletion by completing what has been left undone. Completion leads to a sense of closure, where we feel the comfort of such as a job well done or an argument satisfactorily finished.

Rehearsal exhaustion
One of the effects of incompletion is that we constantly have to go back and think about all the incomplete things we know about, to make sure we do not forget it and to predict possible outcomes. As more and more things are left incomplete, we get more and more distracted and exhausted by the ever-increasing rehearsal.

The rule of three


If someone starts something then leaves it incomplete and then starts something else, and then repeats this again and again, how many such nested incompletions can we stand? In practice, problems seem to set in around about three incomplete things. This appears in a wide range of places. For example, section numbering in manuals may go to 1, 1.2 and 1.2.3, but seldom goes down to a fourth or lower level with section numbers such as 3.5.8.2.7.2. Technical writers know that such detail is too much for most people to handle. (Government specification, however are a different matter).

Completion in stories
Writer of soap-operas and other installment-based entertainment know much about completion. All stories can be viewed as nothing but a series of tension-creating incomplete scenarios, followed by satisfying completion, tying up the loose ends and giving a sense of control and that all is now well in the world. Consider what an incomplete story forces us to do:

In order to be able to make sense of the rest of the story, when it appears, we have to keep going back and mentally rehearsing the story, to keep in in mind. In wondering what will happen, we start predicting possible conclusions. And the more possible endings, the greater the confusion and mental effort again to rehearse these. It sends us mentally inside, paying attention to our inner world. This is the beginnings of trance (as is the repetition of rehearsal).

So what?
Incomplete stories and situations leave people wanting more. If you leave them open, then they will also be more open to your persuasive arguments. So start telling them something, then break off and tell them something else. Do this several times. Then slip in the real request or suggestion that you want to make. They will be so confused they will accept it often without question.

See also
Closure principle, Consistency principle, Zeigarnik effect

The need for: Conformity


Have you ever suddenly noticed when you were in a group of people where they all were doing or saying something different to you? Did you feel uncomfortable about this? Did you feel an unspoken pressure to go along with the rest of the group? If so, you were simply complying with your need to conform.

What is it?
The need for conformity is the desire to go along with the norms of a group of people, so you will be accepted as an in-group person (and not rejected as an out-group undesirable person). We are a tribal animal, which leads us to have a deep need to belong to a group of some sort. Conforming to group norms is a signal to the other group members that 'I am like you. I am following our rules. I am not a threat.' This signal indicates your consistency of behavior, allowing the other people to predict what you will do. It is also a step along the way to increasing your esteem within the group.

Different groups different rules


Different groups have different norms or rules to which group members conform. This can be to do with behavior, attitude, dress, language, etc. The degree to which other people conform to the rules indicates their desire to be a group member. In-group members who conform strongly are core group members who are asserting the identity of the group, or peripheral members who are trying to impress the core members, perhaps to be accepted into the 'inner circle' (which is in fact another group-within-the-group). Further out, people outside the group may similarly emulate group members either to seek admission to the group or to form an admiring group who are seeking to gain some reflected glory. An example is pop fans who dress like their idols.

Conformists and non-conformists


The strength of desire to conform is a personality trait whereby some people will try to conform to whatever group they are in at the time, whilst other 'non-conformists' will go in the other direction, deliberately asserting their individuality by rejecting all but a very few sets of norms. Teenagers come to mind, as they reject their

parents, being non-conformists in the family, whilst desperately conforming with peer-group norms as they seek acceptance by the cliques and gangs of the schoolyard. Some groups are mutually exclusive, where the rules of one group are that you are not a member of specific other groups. Gangs and families are an example, as are political parties and different religions.

So what?
If you want to persuade someone, it helps a great deal to gain their trust by being in the same group as them. An approach that can help this is to conform with their group rules. Strict conformity to others' rules can be seen as an invasion or ridiculing. For example a senior manager going down to a factory floor may well be viewed with anger if he changed into a set of overalls and plastered grease on his face. In such cases, going some way toward the other's norms can be effective. For example the senior manager may remove his jacket and tie and roll up his shirt sleeves. You can also be in the reverse situation, where you set the rules and the other person has to conform to your rules in order to gain admission to your group and the other benefits that this will confer. Once within the group, the threat of expulsion will then keep them conforming. Cults, religions, companies and many other groups use this to coerce people into all sorts of peculiar behaviors.

See also
Theories about conforming Impression Management, Politeness Theory, Social Desirability Bias, Social Impact Theory

The need for: Consistency


Have you ever been to the supermarket and found that they have moved the aisle where the milk is kept? Or have you a colleague who is so inconsistent you do not know what they are going to do next? Annoying and uncomfortable, isn't it?

What is it?
When things are inconsistent, we find it difficult to predict and hence control the future. This makes us feel uncomfortable so we will hence act to make things more consistent. If we cannot do this directly, we may achieve consistency in what we perceive by distancing ourselves from the inconsistent items or people. Internal consistency We also have a need for internal consistency. That is, we need for our beliefs, values, morals, attitudes, mental models and so on, all to align with one another. If we belief the world is flat, yet we value science which tells us the world is round, then we will feel uncomfortable about this difference. We need consistency between our inner beliefs, etc. and our outer actions. This can cause a lot of problems, as we tend to idealize ourselves internally, yet externally we have to face difficult choices. Thus if I believe I am a caring individual, yet do not give money to a beggar, I will feel guilty and uncomfortable.

Cognitive dissonance
In 1957 psychologist Leon Festinger described a very powerful motivator, which he called cognitive dissonance, where inconsistent attitudes, concepts or ideas makes us feel uncomfortable. This drives us to such actions as seeking confirmation of any decisions we make and avoiding anything that might prove those decisions to be anything less than perfect and wise. For example, when we buy a new car, we will happily read articles that praise it, but we will feel bad and discard magazines that show our decision to be unwise.

So what?
Be consistent yourself in your behavior with other people, in order to create trust. You can also, on occasion, be deliberately inconsistent in order to causeconfusion and hence tension, destabilizing the other person so you can guide them towards closure on the points you wish to persuade them. Show other people to be inconsistent, for example highlighting the differences between their values and their actions. Be careful with this, as they can jump in two directions as they seek to reduce one of the inconsistencies.

See also
Consistency Theory

The need for: Control


No, this is not so much about how to control people as about their needs for control. The real secret is the deep, deep need that people have for a sense of control. By managing their sense of control, you can achieve far greater actual control. If you ignore this, you will soon fall into a power battle for control of the conversation and the agenda.

Control is a deep, deep need


Perhaps the deepest need people have is for control. When we feel out of control, we experience a powerful and uncomfortable tension between the need for control and the evidence of inadequate control. One of the most disturbing things about having a terminal illness, as those who unfortunately suffer from such afflictions will tell you, is the feeling of powerlessness, of being unable to do anything about it. Being unable to control the illness can be even more painful than impending death. From an evolutionary standpoint, if we are in control of our environment, then we have a far better chance of survival. Our deep subconscious mind thus gives us strong biochemical prods when we face some kind of danger (see Fight-or-Flight reaction). Other needs that lead to a sense of control include:

A sense of certainty. Completion of outstanding things, so we don't have to worry about them.. Understanding of how things work. Being able to predict what will happen. That people (including ourselves) and things are consistent.

Maslow revisited
Psychologist Abraham Maslow defined a hierarchy of needs, with the particular revelation that when lower level needs are not met, then higher-level needs will be abandoned in favor of shoring up the deeper needs. Take a look at the needs:

Notice how control is important within this, and especially how, the lower you go, the more important control is. We work hard to control disease and our susceptibility to it. Being ill gives a terrible sense of being out of control. Likewise for having a roof over our head (or not), and even in our social environments.

Not control, just the sense


In fact, we don't actually need to be in control all of the time. What we really seek is a sense of control. When our parents or our managers are controlling us, we can still be happy because we trust them to provide the control we seek in our lives. In fact many people actively seek parent-figures in all walks of their life who will provide this control. When seek the advice of experts and obey those in authority, we are depending on them for our sense of control.

Control is embedded in much of what we do


Look around and watch what people do. A significant portion of our everyday activity is related to achieving our much-needed sense of control. Rituals, for example, are everywhere. Why do we have them? They exist to reassure people everything is as it was and to provide a familiar framework for our daily lives.

Social norms and values tell us what to do, what is right and wrong, what is good and bad. When everyone in the group follows the rules, we feel a sense of control.

Power and trust


The sense of control is closely related in opposite ways to power and trust. You can get a sense of control by taking control and acting, which is effectively using power. You can also get a sense of control by ceding it to others, which requires trust. Trust and control support one another. Not only does trust cede control, but the need for a sense of control drives us to seek trust, otherwise we implement trust substitutes, such as monitoring or barriers.

Control and risk


If we have control then we risk less. Threats can be avoided or handled. This has significant evolutionary benefit as it leads to a better chance of survival. We trust more and risk less when we have control. In this way powerful people will trust more easily. This Vulnerable people have more to lose as the threat to them is greater.

Pain and control


People who have a higher sense of control tend to feel pain less intensely. This is probably because a person who feels they are not in control also feels vulnerable to attack and starts to imagine being hurt and so feels some psychologically created pain. When real pain appears they simply feel worse.

Locus of control
There is a principle of locus of control whereby we tend to attribute control in our lives either internally (I have control) or externally (others control my life). People with an internal locus of control are more proactive and selfmotivated. External attribution leads more to passivity and belief in fate or luck.

Harmony and control


A loss of the comfortable state of harmony that we seek has been defined as shift towards either chaos or rigidity (Siegel 2008). When we become more rigid, we control more. When we become more chaotic, we control less. Harmony and integration can hence be understood as a balance of control.

The control trap


There is a trap into which many sales people and other would-be persuaders fall. This pitfall is to try to hold tightly to the reins of control throughout the whole process.

Grabbing control causes resistance


When I grab control of the conversation, talking past the point when you want to reply, you will get increasingly frustrated as you wait for a pause in which you can respond. Sales people do this when they insist on going through the whole sales pitch even when the customer just wants to pay, take the product and leave. Parents do it when they over-do the lectures to their children. A point which is initially accepted is later rejected at what gets seen as unfair punishment. Taking direct control of a conversation or situation does not persuade. It is possible that you get temporary compliance, but you will not get true persuasion.

Fishing is a delicate game


The control game is much like fly fishing. Pull to hard and the fish will slip the hook. Let it out too far and the line will snag or the fish will swim away. It is only through a sometimes-long process of give and take, you steadily reel in your fish.

So what?
So manage the other person's sense of control by changing those things that make them certain, able to understand and predict the things around them. This can be done by making things uncertain and inconsistent.

Giving control to get control


Giving up control gets control in two ways. First, by choosing when, where and how you give control, you still have hold of the reins. You have defined the cage in which the other person can play. Secondly, having allowed them to exercise control, you can evoke the reciprocity principle, such that the other person will willingly give up control of the conversation to redress the social balance. As someone said long ago, 'Give, in order that ye shall receive'.

Give them choice


When people exercise choice, they are controlling their environment. So give them a choice, ensuring that whatever they choose gives you an advantage. One of the most common sales closes is the alternative close, where you assume the other person is ready to buy, and give them a simple choice ('Do you want the red one or the yellow one.'). Don't give them too much choice, because this makes the decision harder and can thus lead to a reduced sense of control. Because we make our easiest decisions by contrasting two things at one time, the best number of options to give is two.

Open questions
Closed questions do not give control. In fact they can seem very controlling. Open questions give people the floor, letting them talk. This can be a scary step and can indeed lose all control. But you are the person who asked the question, so choose the question well to contain their response and possibly even give you information. Just having them talk is itself a great persuader. When people talk about something themselves, they are far more likely to believe in it than if they just sit back and listen to you.

Give them something to do


The corollary of questioning is to give them something active to do. Just like when they are talking, actively doing something, especially when they have choice, gives a sense of control. As with questioning, when you are directing the action, you are still in overall control.

Reflecting
People often keep talking because they are not sure that you have really understood what they have said. When you reflect back to people what they have told you, you show them that you have heard, that they have been successful, that they have controlled their environment. This will speed the point at which they will give you back the talking stick.

See also
Identity, Novelty, Control-Identity types, Locus of Control Who's in control of the bus? Siegel, D. (2008). Mindsight, Oxford: Oneworld

The need to: satisfy curiosity


Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice said. Curiosity also is reputed to have killed the cat, in the cautionary reprimand that is often leveled at naturally curious children. For the rest of us, curiosity is a drive that often leads us into unknown waters.

Kipling's serving men


Rudyard Kipling named the six questions that keep a curious person going for a long time:

"I have six honest serving men They taught me all I knew. I call them Why and When and Where and How and What and Who."
Questions are the route to satisfying curiosity, as all children (and parents!) know. It also needs a certain lack of concern about being able to explain things.

Boldly going
Curiosity is the drive that leads us to exploration and ultimate understanding of something new. It is the driver behind Star Trek and many more earthly bound adventurers.

So what?
Pique their curiosity. Stimulate interest. You know that you have got there when they start asking questions. Then gently lead them in the right direction. If they are truly fascinated, they will be too engrossed to realize what you are doing.

See also
Explain, Understanding

The need for: Esteem


What is it?
Esteem basically is about self-esteem which is feeling good about ourselves. We can get such esteem in two ways. Internally, we can judge ourselves and find ourselves worthy by our own defined standards. Most people, however, start with the outside, seeking social approval and esteem from other people, judging themselves by what others think of them.

A basic Maslow need

Esteem is one of the more basic needs in Maslow's Hierarchy, where it comes above belonging. Once we belong to a group, we will then tend to set about climbing up the group hierarchy or maintaining our position in the group by seeking the esteem and approval of group members.

Esteem is not binary


Whereas belonging is a fairly binary thing--you either belong or you do not--esteem can have a range of levels, from faint praise to adulation and raising the other person a position of virtual godhood. This makes it infinitely more flexible in the variable uses to which it is put.

Esteem value depends on your esteem


The value of an esteeming action or word from someone else depends on who is 'esteeming' you. If you have high esteem for the person esteeming you, then you will value the esteem far more than if it came from someone you judge to be of no importance. Thus a word of praise from a senior manager in the company may be worth far more to your sense of self-esteem than if someone who works for you says 'Well done'. Who you esteem will vary greatly. Some people have a very hierarchical view, valuing esteem directly in proportion to the place in the hierarchy of the esteeming individual. Others will value far more the esteem of peers (for example scientists and research engineers).

Status and power


Status is a a broader effect of esteem and we seek this within the same category. When a person has status, they are widely recognized and are effectively given social power through the influence that is gained. Status may be gained through basic admiration from others. It is also gained by position, such as when a person gets promoted within an organization.

Esteem as a reward
Esteem is often used as a reward. At a low level, I might thank you for passing the salt. A greater esteem reward might be a promotion or a 'lifelong achievement' award. Although money is useful, beyond a reasonable salary, many people are not strongly by cash incentives. Esteem, on the other hand, always plays a powerful role. Rewards can be intrinsic or extrinsic, where they are perceive as being internal or external to the person. Esteem often acts as an intrinsic reward, and thus can be far more powerful than extrinsic rewards such as bonus payments or loyalty card points. Thus shops who clearly care about their customers will engender far more real loyalty than those who just give out loyalty points.

So what?
Find out who the other person admires and get that second person to provide esteem to the individual as a reward for the behaviors you want the first person to exhibit. Alternatively, you can be the person providing the esteem. First get yourself into a person where your esteem is valued greatly, for example by conforming to group norms or by rationing your praise (using scarcity to make it more valuable). Then exchange esteem for the behaviors or actions that you want from them.

See also
Maslow's Hierarchy, Intrinsic Motivation

The need to: Explain


Expertise
If we can explain something, we can claim expertise. This gives us two very useful benefits:

Control : If I am expert in something, then I understand it and can use that knowledge to control it. Social position :Expertise is a form of power, that leads to other people looking up to me, either in admiration (or fear) of my power or in gratitude from the use (or not) I have made of it on their behalf.

Appearing rational
When we goof off or do something of which others might disapprove, we will desperately try to explain ourselves. Why is this? It is because we fear appearing irrational and hence being rejected by others. Explaining demonstrates our rationality and enables others to predict what we are likely to do and hence not consider us a threat. There are often unwritten group norms about appearing rational and we will help our friends save face when they appear irrational for example by explaining how they are having a 'bad day'.

So what?

Gain credibility by demonstrating your own expertise in a topic of interest, but beware in doing this that you do not belittle or embarrass the other person too much. Build friendship by helping the other person save face through your rational explanation of their failures and strange misdeeds (that you may have engineered). It is perhaps unsurprising that there is a whole section on this website called 'Explanations'. This was created out of your author's need to explain and to help you satisfy your similar need. In practice, the whole site helps in various ways to explain what people do when seeking to persuade.

See also
Attribution Theory, Rationalization Trap, Self-Serving Bias

The need for: Fairness


'It's not fair!' is a common cry from a very early age. It seems we have an innate need for fair play-even though we sometimes break the rules ourselves.

What is fair?
We judge fairness in a relative way, usually in comparison with our peers. A common whine that children use to persuade their parents to buy something is 'Everybody else has got one!' In fact much of our perception is based on comparison with others. For example, we think our selves successful only if we are more successful than others. True fairness would be where everyone has the same, or there is an equitable system of balance, such as where those who work harder get more than those who are lazy. The problem is that, when thinking just of ourselves, my definition of fair and your definition of fair is likely to be different. Fairness tends to be more agreeable when we both look objectively at something and agree to apply the same rules. Shared rules of fairness (which often appear as values) help us live in peace together. Unfair is not the opposite of fair What we often call unfair is not necessarily the opposite of fair, particularly when applied to ourselves. What I will be happy to have myself, I would think unfair if other people had. There are very few people who would give away their possessions until they had the same amount as everyone else. Many people think very little about fair play and very largely about what is unfair. Most of these are thinking about themselves, but there are also the good-hearted folks who despair at the unfairness in the world. A few of these even dedicate their lives to trying to reduce unfairness wherever they find it.

The golden rule


'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' as the Bible says. This is known as The Golden Rule, because it an almost sacrosanct social rule. It is about a balanced fairness, that counteracts the tendency to use different rules for myself and for others. The thought of being thought unfair by other people can be a very powerful motivator. I will often be kind and fair because I fear other people seeing me break the golden rule.

Justice for the unfairly treated


For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It's a law of physics and a law of behavior. When people think they are being treated unfairly, they will react not only to remove the unfairness, they often want more. We call it 'justice'. Reparative justice The first level of justice is to have your hurts repaired by some form of compensation. And as the courts have testified, a little pain and suffering can be worth a big bag of money. Of course it does not have to be like this. Repair of relationships can be achieved with a simple apology, and sometimes that is enough. If, however, a reparation is not quickly given, then demands can escalate. Restorative justice If you have lost something, then you will not feel happy until it has been restored to you. Restorative justice is thus concerned with putting things back in place to where they were fairly located before the transgression. Retributive justice If you do not get what you consider just reparation or restoration, then you may be tipped over into the desire for retribution. The big difference when seeking of revenge is that your perception of

fairness takes on a bizarre and twisted form as you seek to hurt the other person, often far more than they have hurt you. This is, of course, the stuff of fights and wars, as an act of revenge leads to revenge in the opposite direction and a rapidly escalating spiral of violence. Retributive activity may decline, but not go away, as it flattens off into feuds which can last for centuries and many generations.

So what?
Be aware of how fair the other person things are for them. If they are feeling things are unfairly balanced against them, they will give less and want more. If they think things are the other way around, they will be more disposed to help you, doing what you ask. A principle that sits heavily on the need for fairness isreciprocity. If I give you something, then it is only fair that you give me something back (which I can ask for, specifically). Beware of overdoing the fairness game. If you try to give them too much, stacking up what they owe you (even if it is well-meaning), they may see this as your trying to make them overly obliged to you. This is, of course, unfair, which gives them a great excuse to wipe the slate clean (and even reverse the situation by requiring reparation or taking revenge). You can nudge people by saying something like 'That's not fair.' The fear of being thought unfair will dissuade many people. If you upset someone, apologize early rather than trying to bluff it out. If you think it was not your fault (and that apologizing would be unfair on you), or if you are overly worried about admitting liability, then you should be prepared for a fight.

See also
Reciprocity Norm, Values

Freedom
Freedom is an ideal and a fundamental need. It is embodied in many statements of rights. It has, paradoxically, been worth dying for, and many have either been 'freedom fighters' or otherwise gone to war against oppressive regimes or enemies who would institute such a state.

Economic freedom
Economic freedom is the ability to earn what money you can, to spend it as you choose and to own what you buy. It allows you to earn more than the next person. In the perfect capitalistic state, there is no taxation as everyone works hard and gets back what they deserve from their endeavors. In economic repression, the ideal of equality is used to prevent one person from owning anything, although true communism is very rare and those who make the rules tend to have more advantages than those who are equal to them in lesser ways.

Freedom to act
When people are free to act, they can do things that otherwise might be repressed, including speaking about their beliefs and even taking their own lives. Action freedom also includes freedom to engage in whatever sexual activity you choose as well as performing religious rites and attempting to persuade others for whatever purpose. Where there is freedom to act, there also needs to be constraints that give reasonable protection from those whose actions would harm others. The most difficult question here is what constitutes 'reasonable', and laws can range from lax to tight.

Informational freedom
Where there is informational freedom, people are allowed to know anything and everything they desire. All information is freely available, governments and companies are transparent and secrecy does not exist. Information includes both the know-what of basic knowledge and the know-how of skills, and freedom of information includes freedom to learn. When information is free, there are no barriers to communication between people and there is no penalty for sharing. Information is power only when it is unequally held and although informational imbalance may still exist, it is only the desire of the individual that leads to this inequality.

Ideological freedom
In an environment of ideological freedom, individuals are allowed to believe whatever they wish. This includes adherence to political, religious and scientific beliefs.

Whilst the ideological context permits seeking after truth, it does not require it and people are free to believe things that others hold strongly as untrue or wrong. Significant tolerance is needed to make ideological freedom work and a common (and hence non-free) belief must be that others have a right to believe things that you do not believe.

So what?
Know what freedoms you value and fight for them as needed. In persuading others, remind them of this need and threaten it as appropriate (though beware of stimulating an over-reaction).

See also
The Need for Fairness, Yalom's ultimate concerns Veenhoven, R. (2000). Freedom and happiness: A comparative study in forty-four nations in the early 1990s. In E. Diener and E. M. Suh (Eds.), Culture and subjective well-being (pp. 257-288). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press

The need for: Health


A very basic need
Physiological needs are to do with the maintenance of the human body. If we are unwell, then little else matters until we recover. Pain and discomfort can range from mild to excruciating, and will have a proportionate effect on our rate of abandoning higher needs.

Self-harm
When we are well, however, we are remarkably uncaring about our body and we pollute and poison it with nicotine, alcohol and excesses of food. We also damage it with either an excess of sports or an lack of any exercise whatsoever. This neglect is a clear and common example of the hierarchical effect. Self-harm can also appear as a kind of psychiatric dysfunction where people deliberately physically hurt themselves. This can appear as obvious damage such as cutting oneself. It can also appear as abuse of the body through such as the use of drugs, anorexia and bulimia. At this level, it can be a reaction to a frightening world, whereby we demonstrate that we can at least control ourselves. It also reflects the low level of our self-esteem and can be a cry for help.

So what?
People can be persuaded by offers of unhealthy food, even with acknowledgement of the dangers (cream buns were once advertised as 'naughty, but nice'). They can also be scared by threats and highlighting dangers (which is a common technique used in anti-cigarette advertisements). At its most basic level, physical threats are a very common coercive technique.

See also
Maslow's Hierarchy

The need for: a sense of Identity


Beyond the basic need for a sense of control, we are deeply driven by our sense of identity, of who we are. I is a capital letter, denoting the importance we place on our sense of individual self. As Descartes said, I think, therefore I am. Many social theories are to do with creating or preserving our sense of identity.

Identity formation
The sense of identity appears early on in life as the infant begins to separate themselves from an undifferentiated unity with their mother. A mirror image of themselves can provide the sudden shock of realizing that they are separate beings. Young children typically cling to a single teddy bear or doll, through which they know their own identity (I am not my teddy). When this transition object, as psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott called it, is removed, a part of their identity is lost, causing distress and tears. This pattern continues through our lives as we identify with our possessions and the things around us and feel bad when they are changed or lost.

Group Identity
We categorize ourselves in terms of other people and groups. Evolution has taught us that it is beneficial to live in tribes, where we can share out the work of daily survival. When asked about yourself, you may well describe

yourself in terms of your work and family relationships: I work for AB Corporation. or I am married to Steve and have three children. If we lost our job, it would not just be the loss of money (affecting our sense of control) that hurt us, but also the loss of relationships and feelings of being outside the company with which we have identified ourselves for so long. The fear of rejection from the groups with which we identify is a powerful force and just the thought of this is enough to dissuade many people from ever taking their creative ability out of the cupboard where they have locked it for fear of its potential social effects.

Social comparison
Although we define our selves by our membership of groups, we also define ourselves by comparison and contrast with others. If we have more than others, we feel superior. If everyone has the same as us, we feel equal. The size of gaps also matters. If I have a lot more than others, then I probably feel a lot more superior. I may also feel more isolated as I realize that they may feel envious of me. This social comparison often appears in forms of status, which is one reason we are driven to purchase status symbols that signals to others (and particularly to ourselves) that we are better in some way - richer or more tasteful, for example. Social comparison is often along some measure of success, which is itself a social construction. Our sense of identity degrades when we fail - which we often do as we accept constant social escalation of what 'success' means.

Identity paradoxes
There are several paradoxes we have to navigate in our search for our selves, including:

Me vs. Us
In order to be allowed to join a group (and hence satisfy belonging and esteem needs), we have to give up prioritizing everything for ourselves and be ready to put the group ahead of our own interests. In doing this, we have to change our sense of identify from always 'me' to thinking about 'us'. This includes taking on groupvalues and beliefs, even if we do not particularly agree with them.

Perfect me vs. real me


We like to think we're perfect. In fact we're not that great, and regularly break our values (Are you law-abiding? Yes? So when did you last exceed the speed limit? Are you thoughtful and kind? So when did you last criticize a friend?). In practice, we manage to mentally separate these two personas. When they are forced together, we instantly find justification and excuse for our misdemeanors.

Identity statements
How can you understand how a person derives their sense of identity? A good way is to watch for 'I' statements.

I can...
Statements of ability show how a person identifies themself in terms of what they can do. This can be anything from assertion of rights to skills and career item.

I have...
Possessions say a lot about a person. Some possessions in particular are strongly related to how people define themselves, such as cars, clothes and cameras. Another very strong 'have' item is about family and people will talk in particular about their children.

I like...
We associate our identity with the things and people we like. This when a person says they like flying or like a particular rock group, they are connecting their self with these and including associated concepts into their identity.

I am...
The verb to be associates any concept very closely with identity and this can be used to connect other types of identification item. This can include emotions (I am happy), career (I am an accountant), religion (I am Buddhist), social position (I am popular) and so on.

I remember....
We also identify ourselves through our memories and any form or recall, especially of personal and emotionally significant events, younger days and other nostalgia offers further clues to a person's sense of identity.

So what?
Act either to support or threaten their sense of identity. Help them join groups. Tell them they are good and attractive. Thank them. Give them recognition and reward for what they do.

Or hint that they are not that perfect. Whisper how others might not approve of what they are doing. Criticize them. Ignore them.

See also
Clusters, Control, Contrast principle, Control-Identity types Belonging, Esteem, Identity Blogs by subject: Identity

The need for novelty


If you were very rich and admired by many, would you be happy? The evidence seems that this is not so. Rock stars and movie moguls who achieve fame and fortune tend not to sit on their backsides for long. They keep working, even to the point of spending away their fortune and achieving disrepute rather than more fame. So what is going on? Viewing this situation through the lens of evolution, if we stood still when we had achieved our goals, we would be overtaken. Evolutionary biologists call this the Red Queen Effect, after a situation in Lewis Carrolls Through the Looking Glass, where the red queen admonishes Alice, It takes all the running you can do to stay in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that. Evolution is a race: if the competition evolves faster than you, you are as good as dead. The need for novelty is the fuel of creativity and innovation. We are impelled to create and change, even if we are otherwise comfortable, and nature has provided us with several drivers to ensure that we do not stand still.

Boredom
Repeating the same action time after time, as many factory workers know, can be deadly dull. Even when we go on holiday and are sunning ourselves by the swimming pool, many of us can only do this for a limited period before we have to get up and do something. In a world-wide study of happiness, Chicago professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi discovered the work-leisure paradox, where when we are at work, we dream of being at leisure, but when we are at leisure, we are not as happy as when we are embroiled in some stimulating work. A bored child will be naughty, just to get attention and interest. It seems better that any stimulation is better than none. It is perhaps not surprising that sensory deprivation can seen as a terrible punishment, as is solitary isolation in captivity (it is also one reason why zoos try not to put single animals in cages).

Curiosity
If boredom pushes us away from doing nothing, it is curiosity that pulls us towards investigating new things. Children are born curious and constantly explore and test the world around them. Lewis Carrolls stories of Alices adventures are all about curiosity (the word and it variants appears 52 times in his books). As Alice said, curiouser and curiouser. Unfortunately, the forces of curiosity are often overcome by the forces of control. The need that adults have for control and conformity lead them to suppress the sometimes destructive explorations of young children. This suppression then carries over into adult life and we learn to be very cautious about how and where we allow our inner child to express itself (see the side panel Transactional Analysis).

Achievable challenge
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, through his work on happiness, discovered the simple secret of success. The trick is to take on challenges which stretch you, but where you have sufficient capability, time and other resources to complete the challenge. He also describes the autotelic personality, where people of all classes and positions have discovered the secret and set their own short- and long-term achievable challenges. Creative and inventive situations are full of challenge, which can be made far more achievable when you understand the basics of how people and science work. This book, then, could hold the key to greater happiness and fulfilment in your life!

Overload
There are two main boundaries in our need for novelty and stimulation. One is the boredom threshold, as described above. The other is the overload threshold, where pleasure turns to pain and excitement to terror. As with the boredom threshold, this can be low or high. It is a characteristic of people on the autism spectrum that they often have a very low overload threshold. It is as if they cannot keep out the stimulation around them. 'Normal' people, on the other hand, seem to have filters whereby they can, for example, 'not hear' people other than those with whom they are talking.

So what?
So put some novelty into your life. Do different things. Have fun. But don't over-do it. Offer novelty to other people. As long as you do not damage their sense of control, novelty can be well used to pique interest and get people engaged.

The need to: Predict


One of the things we are constantly doing is predicting the future, whether it is the micropredictions of movement or forecasts of what might happen next year.

To feel in control
A basic need we have is for a sense of control. If we can predict what will happen, this gives us a lot better chance to control things. If we do not know what will happen next then we cannot relax and must constantly be on the lookout for danger.

To decide
In our ruminating and decision-making we are constantly looking forward, trying to decide the best course of action to achieve our goals and avoid potential discomforts. If we can predict accurately, then we will make good decisions and be successful in meeting our goals and objectives.

Cause and effect


Being able to predict is about connecting cause and effect. If we can connect the cause of today to the effect of tomorrow, we can predict. And if we can create a chain of these, we can predict what will happen next week. Being able to explain cause and effect meets yet another need and allows us to appear rational to other people, thus appearing predictable (and hence meeting their needs for prediction and control).

When we are right and wrong


We make many predictions, often based on a lot of opinion and hope, and on very little fact. Unsurprisingly, we are wrong quite often. Being wrong can be surprising, but we are used to it and generally cope by making various excuses, typically blaming contextual factors. When you are making a public prediction, it helps to predict much like others are predicting, as when you all are wrong, you can hide in the crowd. When you are right, you can trumpet your predictive powers. As we hide our predictive failures, the few successes can sound quite amazing.

The professionals
If you are unable to predict, there are many industries based on predicting the future, from market analysts who tell you what shares to buy and sell, to weather forecasters who model winds and clouds. Even well-qualified people are bad at predicting, and studies of Wall Street analysts and football experts have been shown to be little better than average in their predictions. Pundits are often careful to lace their words with possibility rather than certainty, saying how shares could hit an all-time high or that there is a 30% chance of rain this afternoon. But they say it with such conviction, we believe the stronger emotions over the weaker words. And of course there are the more esoteric seers and prophets who will turn cards or peek at tea leaves to divine your personal future. Science scorns such methods but the industry thrives nevertheless. Our need to know the future leads us to blindly accept the pronouncements of anyone who will point the way, and perhaps especially when they take our money for the pleasure. Professionals know the traps and often choose between two strategies. The linear strategy is based on the principle that patterns repeat, and so tomorrow will likely be like next year. But such forecasters are blind to the big changes that occur (Karl Marx said that when train of history hits a curve, the academics fall off.) Non-linear forecasters know that things sometimes change radically, and seek to become known as the person who predicted the crash or the boom. They hence make frequent alarming predictions, safe in the knowledge that their failures can be safely forgotten whilst their one or two great successes can bring them fame and fortune. Studies of economic forecasters have shown that those who get the big ones right are worse than average at predicting 'normal' events.

So What?
Be predictable with other people and they will trust you and like you more easily. You can also be deliberately unpredictable to put them off balance, causing confusion that you can then utilize. When people cannot predict and do not know what to do, they will look to other people. So create a new situation for them, then show them what to do.

See also
Control, Explain, Rationality, Understanding, Theories about forecasting Confusion principle

The need for: Rationality


Logic
Being rational is being able to use logic and to argue without fallacy. This provides a form of power, both in the accuracy of decisions it confers and also the ability to persuade.

Appearing rational
When we appear rational to others it is easy for them to predict how we will behave and hence allows them to feel safe when in our company. Rationality is thus desirable within a social group as it is an enabler of trust.

The photocopier experiment


Ellen Langer and colleagues performed a famous experiment in which researchers butted into a queue for a photocopier. They found that they could get people to let them jump to the front of the queue if they gave a logical reason, such as 'I need to copy this because the boss wants it now.' Interestingly, they also found that they could say 'I need to do this now because I want to make a copy'. The key word was 'because', which effectively said 'I have a rational argument'. The implication of this is that you do not have to be rational -- you just need to appear or act rational. It must also be said that, whilst this may work on a relatively trivial situation such as jumping the photocopier queue, it may be a different where more is at stake, such as buying a car (although even then, consider how often the bold statements by sales people are effective at persuading customers).

See also
Argument, Need to explain Langer, E., Blank, A., & Chanowitz, B. (1978). The mindless of ostensibly thoughtful action: The role of placebic information in interpersonal interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36(6), 635-642

The need to: Repeat


A curious need that we have is the need to repeat things.

Basic purpose
A curious question is about repetition is in the evolutionary benefit. At the very least, there is benefit in the learning, where repetition helps embed patterns into the mind. The brain generally like learning, so rewards us for repeating by making us feel good. Repetition makes feel comfortable, reassured and especially good when it recalls the 'aha' of learning.

Common repetition
Mindless pleasures
There is pleasure in repetition that is not necessarily dysfunctional but gives common pleasure. Music and repetitive movement, combined in dancing is perhaps the most common form of this.

Repetition in buying
When buying, people often like to go through several loops, before making the final decision. The repetition is like hammering home a nail -- it has to be done several times until the end point is reached. Note that timing is also important in this and that a due reflective period between repetitions may (or may not) be needed.

Dysfunctional repetition
Sigmund Freud noticed the need to repeat and also that it was at the root of many dysfunctional conditions. Whilst repetition is

Stuck in patterns
Repetition is a common principle when something does not work. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again, as the saying goes. In fact when something does not work it often takes quite a few repetitions before we give up and try something else.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
In OCD, people compulsively repeat patterns, most commonly checking, cleaning, tidying, counting or collecting. Sufferers know that they have the condition, but feel very uncomfortable until they fall into the repetition. The internal conversation typically goes something like 'If I don't do X then something bad will happen'. The 'something' may be explicit or vague, but the feeling of impending danger is not. Suppression of the action only makes the feeling even stronger.

Games

Whilst most of us (thankfully) don't have OCD, we still repeat patterns of behavior in varyingly harmful games that range from alcoholism and 'Poor me' seeking of parental succour to the Drama Triangle.

So what?
In selling and persuasion, repeat things, but only until you get the sale. In therapy, find the root of compulsive repetitions and avoid being drawn into the game!

See also
Games, Repetition principle

The need for: Safety


A basic need that we all have is for a sense of safety. If we are not safe, then we can forget everything we are trying to do. Maslow has safety as a very fundamental need.

Probable harm
We constantly predict the future in order to help decide what we should do next and also over the longer term. When we predict that we are likely to come to some harm then we feel unsafe. The greater the potential harm and the greater the likelihood of this happening, the more unsafe we feel.

Physical safety
Physical safety means freedom from physical harm. Such harm can come from other people, such as when a mugger threatens us, or it can come from the environment, such as when we are standing in a burning building. When other people threaten us, we are likely to respond with a Fight-or-Flight reaction.

Psychological safety
Although Maslow does not highlight this, we can feel just as unsafe when faced with the taunts of our peers as we do when faced with the knife of a mugger. Psychological safety is, of course, 'all in the mind', and this intangible nature can make it difficult to handle. It can also be difficult to make the decision as to whether the threat is intended and real or not. We can also psychologically threaten ourselves, as that little voice in side berates us for our wrong-doings. We cannot get away from the repeated self-harming cycles of recurring memories or future projections and much psychotherapy is designed to stop us from continuing to harm ourselves.

So what?
Distract them from higher-order needs by threatening their safety. Or be their friend by offering them safety and when they appear to be threatened.

See also
Maslow's Hierarchy

The need for: Self-actualization


Self-actualization is a fancy term, but actually it's quite easy: It means 'becoming what you are capable of becoming'.

Becoming
Self-actualization can be pretty far out for the uninitiated. When you are struggling with such as safety needs it may seem pretty much like a bunch of fluffy hogwash. But when all that stuff is sorted out, when you have friends and family and are happy with life, you still need to reach out to find out how high you can go. A good word here is ontology, which the dictionary describes as 'The metaphysical study of the nature of being and existence'. Or just 'theories of being'. There is a whole branch of philosophy and psychology dedicated to figuring this out. Which is often the goal of people who are working on self-actualization. Eastern religions and philosophies know all about self-actualisation. They call it nirvana, enlightenment or other terms. It's about reaching the highest pinnacle of being. Ultimate happiness. One-ness with God. Sounds like a nice place to be. Even reaching out to it is a worthy goal. If you want to explore this route, go look up things like Buddhism, Zen, Taoism and Meditation.

Maslow's characteristics

Maslow, by analyzing well-known people who had achieved this level, identified many characteristics of selfactualization. He found they were:

Reality-centered: Differentiating between fake and real, dishonesty and truth. Means focused: Not seeking just the end but enjoying the journey. Problem-centered: Focusing on solving problems not bemoaning one's troubles. Self-sufficient: Not needing the company of others. Deep relationships: What connections they had with others was deep and meaningful. Autonomy: Not being driven by the deeper needs. Socially aloof: Not being driven by social pressures. Open humor: Able to laugh at themselves and life in general. Acceptance: Accepting self and others without judgement. Simplicity: Being themselves, without pretence. Spontaneity: Reacting as themselves without pause to worry. Respect: Accepting others as they are. Humility: Not trying to be superior to others. Ethical: A personal sense of right and wrong. Openness: Being able to see things in new ways. Creative: Easy identification of new ideas. Peak experience: Achieving that state of nirvana.

Maslow did also note that such people are not saints and have their own imperfections, such as:

Strong feelings of anxiety or guilt about what they should or should not do, or what they had done. Being excessively kind even to people who may not deserve it. Being cold and ruthless when they felt something needed doing.

Note also that self-actualizing is very different to lower needs and that self-actualizers are a personality type. While many of us seek self-actualization when lower needs are met, there are people for who the lower needs are less important and who live their lives in the self-actualizing state.

So what?
So if the other person has most other things going their way, focus your efforts on helping them to explore themselves and become what they are capable of becoming. If you are selling products, what you are selling is transformation and the product is the person themselves. People will pay very good money to become somebody else.

See also
Maslow's Hierarchy, Ways to Happiness, Actualizer Needs

Status
A critical part of any relationship is the relative status between the two people, whereby one person is considered to be at a higher social status than the other.

Primitive basics
Watch two dogs meet. Or cats, or many other species. One of the first things they do is work out the status relationship. Beyond the identity sniffing, there will be eye contact, baring teeth, expanding of body, tail-wagging, lying down and other body language that signifies 'I am superior' or 'I am inferior'. The underlying premise of status is that if an animal challenges a higher status animal, the lower status animal will be punished. Knowing this is enough to prevent the challenge and so the social order is sustained and nobody is harmed. Body language and status can be seen in the use of space. A higher status animal will casually invade the space of a lower status animal, whilst the lower status animal will always stay well back and never invade. People do this too. Status is more in the giving than the demanding. Even if a dog wins a fight, if the other dog does not subsequently submit, no status has been awarded. This setting of social order has many evolutionary purposes. If you are superior, this gives benefits such as:

Those of lower status will not challenge or threaten you. You get to eat first.

You have first choice of mate.

In a tribal setting, the social hierarchy is a system of trust and contains degrees of status at each level. When everyone knows who gets first choice, there are no battles. Fight first to establish status, then harmony can follow. Status is a relative thing. We have higher or lower status in comparison with others. Without others and their status, our own status is meaningless. Status givespower in the ability to achieve our ends through the acquiescence and collaboration of others. High status people trust others more easily, often because they have the power to mete out justice if they are betrayed. People will likely be less trusting if failure of that trust results in a loss in status (for example by social embarrassment or from loss of status-gaining attributes, such as money and symbols). Individuals tend to have a preferred status and will seek to achieve this level. This is based on self-image and a person with a lower opinion of their social value may well deliberately seek a 'safe' low status. Much comedy is based on status. We laugh at the fall of the arrogant person because it lowers their status. Many comic situations also appear where a lower status person deliberately or accidentally adopts a higher status position (something we all would like to do), causing confusion in the process. Tragedy also involves status, as we grieve with people we admire who have been brought low. Who is top dog and who is underdog is important for people too (note how these terms are used also in human relationships). Although we are more complex than animals, the same basic principles apply and established status contributes significantly social order.

In organizations
Modern organizations are hotbeds of status and competition for position, both formal and social. Everyone wants hot jobs, respected roles and bigger desks. Status also happens between teams and between organizations. Whether you work for a well-known company or a successful team, your status increases with that of your group. Groups and companies hence vie for status with one another. Higher status companies can also attract higher quality candidate for jobs. Applicants perceive the brand in terms of it status and how saying 'I work for X' will improve their rsum and increase their status in social groups.

Respect
Status is evidenced by respect, which is why many people consider respect so important. Major types of respect include:

Fear-based respect: Giving status due to fear of reprisals. Admiration-based respect: Giving status through recognition of ability. Liking-based respect: Giving status because of social bonding. Desire-based respect: Giving status because you want what they have got. Conformance-based respect: Giving status because rules say you should do so. Respecting because it is right to do so.

You can be respected for many things. For animals, this is first about fighting ability. For people, respect can be for skill, ability and general likeability. One of the most useful social skills is the ability to gain the respect of others without resorting to fear-based aggressive tactics. With this variation, we can each have status for many different things, from what we know to how we interact with others. This is plenty of scope for status-related activity. In the way we construct our own self-image through the eyes of others, self-respect often needs the respect of others. If I am at the bottom of the pile for everything, I may find it difficult to respect myself.

Status conversations
We are constantly jostling for status and a surprising number of conversations are driven by this purpose. Just listen to people chatting and you will often hear status games.

Boasting
Boasting is blowing your own trumpet, telling others of your achievements, intellect, wealth and so on. If you are faster, cleverer or wealthier than others, then this demonstrates your ability and power. Boasting may include inflation of your actual abilities and achievements. If you can make a small thing seem big, then you may get an disproportionate status boost. Examples:

I saw the new movie last night. We're going skiing again at the weekend. The boss really liked my presentation, you know.

Admiring
What is often sought in boasting is admiration, which is showing respect and acknowledging your status in this area. When people admire me, they stroke my sense of identity.

Admiration may be directly stated or implied through listening and general attention. When people show they like us, we feel they also admire us and give us status. We also may offer admiration of other people without apparent prompting. This may seem magnanimous but what is often happening is that we are prompting anexchange whereby the other person admires us in return. Friendship is often based on status games with a fair degree of mutual admiration. We prop each other up and affirm each other's status. A powerful way of indirect boasting is in getting others to apparently admire you without prompting. Examples:

I saw the new movie last night. Lucky you! What was it like? Thanks for paying for the meal. Well thank you for your great company.

Criticizing
Status is relative to others, particularly peers. So just as we can push ourselves up, we can gain status by pulling others down. Criticizing tends to be of people who either already have higher status than us or those who have similar or lower status. If we can pull down a higher status person, we increase our position on the ladder. If we kick down juniors, we prevent them from challenging our hard-won status. Our main rivals are our peers, which includes those we call friends. This can cause conflict and status games and battles are a key reason for friends to fall out. We hence tend to criticize based on the dimensions by which we gain status. If we think ourselves smart, we challenge the intellect of others. If we are managers, we criticize our subordinates and gossip about other manager's lack of business sense. Insults are a particularly direct form of criticism. If an insulted person does not respond, they immediately take a lower status. To fight back is to invite status-lowering defeat, yet this may well be preferred as the status is not lowered as far as if the person accepts the insult. This can be very damaging for businesses, where blame and fear become primary motivators and people spend much energy defending and attacking rather than doing their jobs and creating value. Examples:

I saw the new movie last night. I saw it last week. It wasn't very good anyway. That's the second mistake you've made this week. And that's the pot calling the kettle black!

Defending
When others make a move that seems to be aimed at increasing their status at the expense of yours, for example by ignoring or attacking you, then it is common to defend your status position. A typical way of defending a status attack is to attack back, for example by criticizing the other person or their ideas, as above. Another approach is to take the high ground, showing you are higher status by ignoring them or looking down on them in some subtle way.

Modesty
A part of the status game is not to try and grab too much admiration, lest it turn to envy and criticism. In consequence, we often act modestly, even though we want to boast. This can lead to self-effacing that is boasting in disguise.

That's a nice dress. Aw, it's just something I threw on. Mike said I'm smarter than he is. It was very flattering but he's the clever one.

Pronouns
The use of pronouns differs between higher and lower status people, with those who have higher status tending to use 'I' far less than people with lower status. The reason for this is probably because the lower status person feels more that their sense of identity is under threat and so indulges more in ego-boosting. On the other hand, the status of higher status people is likely to be boost their sense of identity, reducing their need for self-affirmation. This effect is likely to be exaggerated when these status differences are brought to attention, for example where lower and higher status people meet.

So what?

Watch the status games around you. They are everywhere. Understanding these will give you much useful information about the people involved. To influence people, you can:

Push up your status Get others to push your status up for you Pull down the status of others Push others up so they reciprocate by pushing you up

Much can be gained by the subtle use of flattery and other status-raising of others. If you show admiration and boost the self-perceived status of others, they will often reciprocate by helping and agreeing to your requests.

See also
Status Game, Dominant body language Authority principle, Amplification principle, Exchange principle Johnstone, K. (1981). Impro: Improvisations and the Theatre, London: Methuen

The need to: Understand


One of our deep needs is simply to be able understand what is going on around us.

Understanding enables control


If we understand the world around us, then we have a far greater chance of controlling it. Even if we cannot control it, we can make informed choices about what we might do next. The brain helps us do this, by giving us a little squirt of dopamine whenever we learn something, creating that satisfying aha! or eureka! experience. When we lack understanding, we feel the extreme discomfort of confusion, which motivates us to gain understanding. This, perhaps, is one of the main driving forces that has led to the enormous developments of mankind.

Understanding gives social position


Understanding also gives social position. If I can understand, then I can use this to control my social environment. I can also explain things, thus giving me a position of expertise and authority.

So what?
So create a lack of understanding, for example by showing people to be wrong when they thought they were right. Then offer understanding as a trade or a reward for what you are seeking.

See also
Control, Explain, Power, Confusion principle, Authority principle

The need to: Win (and not lose)


We have a deep need to win at whatever we do, and perhaps an even stronger need to avoid losing (at least appearing to lose).

The zero sum assumption


We are naturally programmed as a competitive species who will fight for our side against all competitors. In doing so, we are assuming a win-lose scenario. If we win, the other person loses, and vice versa. The natural strategy that flows from this is to fight tooth and nail to win. There is another option: that it is not zero sum. When one person gains, the other does not necessarily have to lose. If you can create a win-win situation, then everyone can win.

The impact of losing


When we lose, this has a number of negative impacts on us:

It is evidence that we are not winners, which may be a significant self-image. It shows that our prediction process is not good, making all other predictions possibly failures.

Other people will see us as losers and give us less esteem or otherwise take advantage.

So what?
Help the other person win. If they are competitive, frame it as the other person's competitor losing (if necessary, find them someone or something to compete against). If they are friendly, frame it as a win-win situation.

See also
Argyris' Governing Values

Needs, Wants and Likes


What we say we need is not always what we really need. Sometimes we just want it, or maybe even less. Understanding these in other people (and yourself, for that matter) gives you a long lever with which to negotiate.

Needs
In the absolute sense, needs are things without which we cannot survive. We need air, food and water. We also have needs in negotiations and persuasions. For example, when I am buying a house, I need three bedrooms because we have two children.

Walk-away position
The practical effect of needs is that they define the walk-away position. If a house is marvelous in all other respects, but has only two bedrooms, they I will not buy it, no matter what you offer to do.

Often unspoken
Needs are sometimes also called 'Musts', because they are things we must have. They are also called 'hygiene needs' or 'basic needs'. They are often not talked about being assumed as a basic essential. When buying a car, you would not ask if there were four wheels on the car, but you most certainly need them!

Dissatisfiers more than satisfiers


If needs are not met, they result in people being dissatisfied. If they are met then the satisfaction either not noticed or is very low level. Wants are sometimes called 'preferences'.

Wants
Wants are based on our perceptions. Although they are not absolute needs, they are pretty high up on the priority list. In buying a house, I want a big kitchen.

Negotiable
Wants are often negotiable, although depending on the strength of the want, I may argue differently. If the house has a wonderful garden and the scope to extend the kitchen at a later date, then I may concede the point.

Often spoken
We often talk most about the things we want, as they are uppermost in our mind, and will pay most attention to them when we have the opportunity. When visiting a house, the first place I want to see is the kitchen.

Dissatisfiers and satisfiers


If wants are met, they result in satisfaction levels in proportion to how well the want is met, ranging from dissatisfaction when they are not met to strong satisfaction when they are met well.

Likes
Likes are the weakest level of need. They are the 'nice-to-haves' or 'like to haves', the icing on the cake. I would like a house with a big garden, but I'll probably settle for a medium-sized one.

Often unspoken
Sometimes I do not know what I like until I see it. Thus likes can be a surprise item.

Satisfiers more than dissatifiers


Likes are also called 'wishes', 'delight needs' or 'excitement needs' as when they are met, they result in delight and excitement. As the level of expectation for likes is low, if I do not get the things I like, I am not likely to be very unhappy about it.

Negotiability
Needs, wants and likes are often tradeable. People will accept several wants for a in place of a need that is high, but not absolute. And several likes may well be accepted in place of a want.

So what?

So find out what they need, want and like -- and it will not necessarily be as they tell you (if at all). Try offering or taking away and see how they react. Try offering exchanges between them. Explore the mutability of their position. Thus find out their minimum walk-away position and what it will cost you. Then find out what else you can get by playing with the likes and wants.

Needs models
There are a number of theories and models of motivation that have been proposed, including:

Actualizer Needs: A whole set for actualizers. Argyris' Governing Values: Needs for career success. Berne's Six Hungers: Drivers from Transactional Analysis. Career Anchors: What drives you to particular careers. CIA Needs Model: A useful changing-minds model. o Internal CIA Conflicts: How CIA needs conflict with themselves and one another. Control Conflict: The issue of managing risk. Identity Conflict: Who am I? Doyal and Gough's Needs: Health and autonomous. Eight Need Domains: Where other needs may be found. ERG Theory: Alderfer reduced Maslow's hierarchy to three key needs in 1972. Evolutionary Needs: Fundamental forces. Glasser's Five Needs are similar to Maslow's, but include fun! Herzberg's Motivation-Hygiene Theory was proposed in the 1960s. Horney's Neurotic Needs: What very anxious people seek. Kano's Needs were defined in 1984 with regard to customers, but are very relevant to all people. Maslow's Hierarchy is one of the best known descriptions of layered needs. Max-Neef Needs: Another recent list. McClelland's Acquired Needs Theory is also a three-need model. Mumford's Needs are four basic needs of workers. Murray's Needs are a longer list of needs identified by Henry A. Murray in 1938. Packard's Eight Hidden Needs: That advertisers target. Robbins' Six Needs: Three pairs of needs. Self-Determination Theory: Autonomy, relatedness, competence. Spitzer's Eight Desires: A recent collation. The Needs of Children: And the responsibility of parents. Yalom's Ultimate Concerns: Deep troubles we need to avoid.

Another useful view of needs is to understand the priorities of and differences between needs, wants and likes, and hence find where to focus your efforts and identify potential trade-offs.

Actualizer Needs
Actualizing and actualizers
Self-actualization is the highest level of need described in Maslow's hierarchy of needs and is about 'becoming what you are capable of becoming', unlocking your talents and achieving your potential. A person who operates at this level is an actualizer, which can be a distinct personality type who operates with only limited requirement for satisfaction of lower needs on the hierarchy. It is also a state that people may reach through striving to improve themselves. Whatever the route, to be an actualizer is to take a different view on life as compared to most other people.

Actualizer needs
Actualizers have distinct needs and consequently focus in these areas. Maslow called them 'B-needs', or 'being needs' to differentiate from the 'D-needs' or 'deficit needs' of the lower hierarchy. It is notable how these seem more like values than needs.

Truth

Truth is about honesty, receiving truth and telling the truth. The truth is not always comfortable, but the actualizer prefers to to hear this than to hear 'white lies' or cover-ups. The person should also tell the truth, which may need courage. The opposite of truth is dishonesty.

Goodness
Being good means being considerate about others, taking their well-being into significant account and being kind to them. Goodness is about adhering to socialvalues that require respect of one's fellow humans. The opposite of goodness is evil.

Beauty
Appreciation of beauty is a natural act. Is is a finer sense of the aesthetic that lets you see patterns and form that perhaps others miss. Just like a fractal, beauty is seen as far more than skin deep. Appreciating beauty does not mean seeking to possess or control beautiful things or people. It is enough to see and appreciate without having to take it away from others and make it solely your own. The opposite of beauty is ugliness or vulgarity.

Unity
Finding unity is to see things as whole and interconnected systems, not separate and wholly independent parts. It is understanding that even opposites are connected and even dynamically create one another, as in the yin and yang of light and dark. It is to appreciate the universe as one, to realize that whatever we do, we affect all other things -- and to act with a deep consideration of this. This includes appreciating diversity and people who are 'not like me', realizing that actually everyone is more like me than we may think. The opposite of unity is arbitrariness or forced choices.

Aliveness
Have you ever woken up feeling very alive, tingling with a sense of potential and a pleasure just to be here, now? Being alive in this sense is to feel the unity, beauty and truth of everything around you. It is having the energy to get up, get out and get active with a vibrant enthusiasm. People who are 'alive' do not just bounce around with enthusiasm. They have focus and meaning. They are fully functional and work with energy towards clear goals. The opposite of aliveness is deadness.

Uniqueness
Uniqueness involves an appreciation of difference, seeing each thing as individual. Seeking uniqueness requires a close attention and not using primitive categories or stereotypes. When faced with two similar items, some people quickly say they are the 'same'. With a uniqueness view, infinite differences even between 'identical' items can be seen. The opposite of uniqueness is uniformity.

Perfection
For something to be perfect, it must be judged and compared against something which is imperfect. Yet if everything is unique, then there could only be one perfect thing and so result in a view that everything is imperfect. The reverse is to see perfection in every grain of sand. A person who seeks perfection also tries hard to do things well and right in their own lives. They pay attention to detail and enjoy the beauty of creation. They are organized and put things in their right place. This does not mean they are dissatisfied with a lack of perfection, only that they seek it. It also does not mean a narrow focus that forgets the world. Perfection is also about 'good enough' and not just 'gold-plated'. The opposite of perfection is sloppiness, inconsistency or accident.

Completion
When something is started, it is not left unfinished. The process of creation is enjoyed at each step, culminating in the ultimate completion. There is an energy for this, with the focus and determination that is needed to see things through. Completion creates a sense of fulfilment, of achievement of having contributed something whole. There is also a sense of completeness to the person, that they are not lacking or wanting in any way. The opposite of completeness is incompleteness.

Justice
Justice is about truth, balance and, above all, fairness. It is about transparency and care, particularly for the vulnerable who cannot defend themselves. It is also needed so the common person can live with others without fear. Justice is not about revenge. It is not 'an eye for an eye' but neither is it about 'turning the other cheek'. It is dispassionate yet considerate. It seeks to create right and prevent wrong. Seeking justice also means accepting justice. That if you wrong someone, even unintentionally, then you must put things to right, compensating for the trouble caused. The opposite of justice is injustice and lawlessness.

Simplicity
The world is cluttered with endless stuff that we are encouraged to buy, collect and possess. Yet from an actualizer position, little of this is really needed and only serves to distract from things which are more important. When status is important, things are used to signify this. Yet when the need for social approval is past, then simplicity is a better value. There is an elegant beauty in simplicity. When the clutter is removed, the essential qualities and relationships can be seen. The opposite of simplicity is complexity.

Richness
While simplicity is important, richness can also be found all around. The actualizer sees the complexity and beauty of simple things. Their thoughts are rich with ideas and appreciation. They see the intricate and amazing detail in everything around them. At the highest level, it is about seeing richness and beauty in all things. As William Blake said, 'To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.' The opposite of richness is impoverishment.

Effortlessness
It can seem annoying to the rest of us but somehow the actualizer lives life in an effortless kind of way, getting many things done whilst simultaneously seeming to have plenty of time available. They do not do this by working less but through understanding and engaging in one thing at a time. They focus and clarify and then move on, rather than trying to juggle too much and so drop balls and spend even more time picking them up again. Actualizers are hence masters of time management. The opposite of effortlessness is strain.

Playfulness
While life can be tough, it need not be without humor. In fact you can find things to laugh at in the most dire situation. Laughter lifts the spirit, bringing a little joy into what may otherwise be humdrum or hard. Playfulness includes not taking oneself too seriously. If you can laugh at yourself, you will always have an endless source of fun. Playfulness is about levity, approaching life in a light way. Yet this does not mean you cannot be serious. The secret is in the balance that does not let one dominate. The opposite of playfulness is humorlessness or drudgery.

Self-sufficiency
Many of us are dependent on others for all kinds of things, from money to affection. Being dependent means assuming a right and that others have a duty to provide. This can lead to stressed expectation and strained relationships. Being self-sufficient means not demanding or expecting things from others. Yet it does not mean separating oneself. To be with a person who is self-sufficient is to be in a place of comfort, knowing that they are with you because they like you, and not because of some ulterior motive they are seeking. The opposite of self-sufficiency is dependency.

Meaningfulness
Last of all and perhaps most of all, actualizers seek and find meaning. It has been said that the meaning of life is to find meaning. Whether it is the grain or sand or a moment's revelation, finding meaning gives sense to life and motivates you to continue. Finding meaning is related to learning, where the 'aha' of discovery is a reward from the brain at having made sense of something new. Meaning is the opposite of senselessness.

So what?
Do you want to achieve self-actualization? Maybe in part or getting a sense of what it is like? Consider the above list and how you can adopt these ways. Also, when helping others change and develop, you can use these as a beacon, assisting the other person in moving towards them.

See also
Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Values, Meaning, Ways to Happiness, Self-actualization Maslow, A.H. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being, D. Van Nostrand Company Maslow, A. H. (1971). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature, Esalen Books, Viking Press

Argyris' Model 1 Values


Chris Argyris at Harvard has identified four common values that drive people, and has verified it across multiple cultures and countries. He calls this the Model 1 Theory-in-use to differentiate it from the more saintly Espoused Theory about which we tell other people (and ourselves). Espoused theories are usually along the lines that we are considerate, generous, intelligent and so on.

Define goals and try to achieve them


In order to acquire a sense of control we need to prove to ourselves that we can control our environment. We thus set ourselves goals (which can also be targeted at satisfying other needs) and do our best to achieve the goals. In order to maintain our sense of control, we tend to do this unilaterally -- to include others is to risk losing control. There can be a social downside of this as our grabbing control denies it from others, thus reducing their sense of control. This can lead to social punishments and conflict. We get trapped by these goals when we feel that to change them would be to show that we are not as in control as we thought we were.

Maximize winnings, minimize losings


We all like to win, because this proves to ourselves that we are achieving our goals and are in control. On the other hand, if we lose, we not only do not achieve our goals, but we are seen by others as inferior and are likely to receive less support in the future (thus we lose social control--i.e. power). Maximizing winnings also proves to others that we are powerful and that if they do not want to be losers, they should avoid coming into conflict with us. In fact they may share in our winnings (or at least bask in the reflected glory) by associating themselves with us. Winning is often about ownership, authority and, yes, control. A common approach to gaining control over others is simply to assert our authority, becoming our own advocate. Winning (or losing) becomes a spiral as the more people ally with us, the more others will feel socially isolated and be motivated to join us.

Suppress negative feelings


There are many ways we can experience dissonance in the actions from the above approaches. There are gaps between:

Our espoused theory of the positive values we hold about ourselves and the Model 1 reality. The goals we have defined and how well we actually achieve them. What we win and what we lose (or at least do not win as well as we had intended).

These inconsistent gaps are so uncomfortable, we will tend towards avoidance and denial. To express these negative feelings would also let others know that we are not as great winners as we had at first thought. Negative feelings can be exacerbated by this approach, as if we believe ourselves to be winners, we will set high goals, which we are unlikely to fully achieve, thus leading to further suppression. Showing negative feelings is also associated with being a loser, and signals to others that we are not winners, not able to achieve our goals and are not in control. This suppression can be a collaborative action -- I won't talk about your limitations if you don't talk about mine. This is a hugely poisonous spiral that leads entire organizations into sub-optimal and dysfunctional ways of working that can eventually bring down the entire company.

Behave rationally
We all need to predict the world around us, including what other people will say and do. By definition, if others cannot predict how we will act, they will define us as irrational and hence avoid or attack us. It thus makes sense for us to at least appear rational, even if our thoughts are inconsistent. To be rational in the eyes of others, we first need to be able to explain our own actions to ourselves. We are our own greatest judges, and only we know the truth, although having said that we do suppress negative feelings even from ourselves (although this is not an ultimately winning strategy -- the stress of suppression often comes back to bite us). A defensive way of being rational is to judge the rationality of others, thus setting ourselves up as authorities and hence automatic winners. Blaming people and situations is to attribute cause, which is itself a rational action. A common way of rationally helping others suppress negativity is in face-saving. By not criticizing them in public (or even in private), we enable them not to appear as losers. This approach, which is particularly strong in many global cultures, counter-balances the tendency to blame. Where face-saving strong, there may be special situations reserved for where honest and critical feedback may be given. In companies this typically is the annual performance appraisal process, where after months of face-saving, the criticism can come as a huge shock.

So what?
Argyris proposes an alternative Model 2 theory, which people can adopt to counteract the ultimately selfdestructive effects of Model 1:

Valid information, so people can gain a true understanding. Free and informed choice, so people can make healthy decisions. Internal commitment to the choice, so they will follow through on these decisions. Constant monitoring, to make sure things stay on track and honest learning takes place.

See also
Argyris' Model 2 Governing Values, Attribution Theory, Consistency Theory, The need for a Sense of Control

References
Argyris, C. and Schon, D. A. (1996), Organizational Learning II, Reading, Mass: Addison Wesley

Berne's Six Hungers


Eric Berne, the originator of Transactional Analysis, identified what he called 'six hungers' that act as fundamental drivers that push us into action.

Stimulus hunger
We have five senses which we need to use. If they are insufficiently stimulated, this can cause a sense of numbness or distress. When we are stimulated, we may well become physically aroused, with the added buzz from the effect of neural chemicals such as adrenaline. Sensory deprivation removes all stimulus and can quickly lead to hallucination. This may be used in some therapeutic situations, where removal of external stimulus forces the person to look inwards. It is also used in coercive situations, such as interrogation, where the disorientation and distress caused leads to the person becoming more compliant. Stimulation may also be intellectual and emotional, for example where we are excited by a book or upset by world events.

Recognition hunger
When others recognize and acknowledge us, our sense of identity is reinforced as we know ourselves to exist as individuals and to have an accepted place in society. Recognition is related to both belonging and esteem, as we are accepted into groups and then gain status within them. Recognition is built into society and we nod and smile to strangers, thanking them for holding open a door and complying with social norms.

Contact hunger
This is the need for physical contact with other people, touching them in various ways. Touching another person boosts our sense of identity as it acknowledges that we are both separate from and connected with others. It goes beyond visual recognition to a more visceral sense of togetherness. Contact creates a sense of connected and comfort. Children need contact with their parents and make much contact with other children during play. We gain formal contact in greeting and departure rituals, where handshakes, hugs and kisses are normal, although these do vary with culture. In a number of societies today, fears of being accused of inappropriate touching keeps people away from making contact in many situations. This becomes unhealthy when it causes isolation and distress.

Sexual hunger
The evolutionary need to procreate is essential for the survival and growth of the species. We hence constantly view others as potential partners, sizing them up and wondering what they would be like in bed. Men tend to have more focus here but not exclusively so. The natural position of the male prosecuting his case in trying to get the female into bed still needs a woman who is ready to go along with this. In modern societies, women also have become more proactive in leading their own sexual revolution. This hunger is also related to passion and love and, beyond basic copulation, we seek romance in our lives. Wider again we enjoy passion about anything, from sports to supporting international causes.

Time structure hunger


We all know that we have a certain amount of time in which to live our lives and want it to make sense. We find comfort in the regular passing of the years, of celebration days from birthdays to new year. We fret about wasting time and worry about not having enough time. We plan and want to know what is going to happen, and when. We also want to have space in which to be relaxed and less ordered, though we often still want to organize this space.

And so we fill our lives with things to do. We go to classes, we book holidays. We keep diaries and calendars. We create careers with explanatory resums trailing the past to make sense for the next job.

Incident hunger
Closely related to the need for stimulation, we look out for incidents, things that happen around use that we find interesting and which add spice to our lives. Newspapers, TV and other media play directly to this need, with shock-horror stories that range from local crime statistics to celebrity divorces to global warming doom and gloom. One reason that incidents work is the contrast between the previous humdrum and the stimulation of the incident. The contrastive effect makes the incident seem even more interesting than it might otherwise appear.

So what?
Understand how these effect you and so make more intelligent choices in your life. You can also, of course, use these as levers in changing minds.

See also
Transactional Analysis, Stimulation Berne, E. (1970). Sex in Human Loving, Simon and Schuster, New York

Career Anchors
Edgar Schein, in his exploration of career dynamics, identified five different 'anchors' that are often fundamental drivers in the way they are often key drivers in our choices of jobs and careers. People usually have only one primary anchor, but can have other anchors in close support. Anchors are relatively stable, although life events can make people re-evaluate their purpose and hence change primary anchors.

Security and stability


Many people find it important that their jobs offer a degree of security and stability in their lives. This is natural and plays to basic needs for safety. For others, it is of central importance and they will often avoid jobs that offer promotion and more money but which also are less stable and include greater risk of losing the job, for example in an unstable industry or perhaps where 'insufficient performance' is likely to lead to the person being sacked. For such people risk aversion is likely to be significant and the idea of a quiet life may well be more attractive than excitement and interest of the new. Money represents safety and they are likely to save it carefully. Just having a nest-egg makes them feel good. People may fall into this category when they want the organization to take responsibility for their life, acting perhaps as surrogate parents. They are thus happy in an institutionalized cocoon. Another route into this state is where the person has anchors outside of work, in family, friends and community. Work in this case is less a place for meaning-making and more a place for earning money to sustain a stable local life.

Autonomy and independence


Some people find that being at somebody else's beck and call a fundamentally grating experience. They hate being told what to do, and particularly in any form of directive micro-management. They find any form of rules to be constricting and will rail and rebel against any attempt to control their lives. Money is valued in the ability it gives the person to do their own thing. They may dream of wealth that enables them to indulge in whatever they choose, free from the necessities of normal working life. One way they find independence in the workplaca e is by becoming an expert in their field, often through long study for professional qualification. They are driven in the effort required for this learning by the golden thought of ultimate autonomy. They may also seek jobs that have a natural freedom and authority, such as teaching or consulting. Management often holds an allure for them as they see themselves being the controllers, and not the controlled (though in practice, they may find this is not quite the case).

Creativity and entrepreneurship


Some people are driven by the need to create and find great satisfaction in designing and constructing things that may range from products to whole businesses. The entrepreneur is an arch-builder, creating and developing organizations that fulfil their dreams. They are not like 'ordinary' people in that they have the courage and commitment to put their whole lives into their work, rather than it being just a 'job'.

Money is both a necessary evil and a measure of success. They will do what it takes to get the finance, including mortgaging their house and maxing out their credit card -- anything to get their business idea going and make it successful. When they look at their business, the revenues gained will both indicate the degree of their success and also make them wonder what they can build next. Such people either stay in traditional businesses only long enough to learn the ropes before breaking out on their own. An alternative approach (particularly if they also have a need for safety) is to have a traditional job but to channel their passions into a business 'on the side'.

Technical/functional competence
Many people have greater talent and interest in some particular areas. Some home in on these areas and develop this into a whole career or specialist. This may include long study, both in initial qualification and long-term study, that may turn the person into a significant expert. Whilst money is important as an indicator of success and status, the greatest accolade such people can receive is recognition from their peers. In work, they seek to get onto the latest projects that will challenge them and help them develop their expertize, reaching and staying on the leading edge of their profession. It can be a frustration for such specialists that their career path is limited and that to progress within a company they will have to move into management. Great engineers can make terrible and unhappy managers, yet thus often happens as they see this as the only career path available to them. A part of the problem is that they keep trying to get back to their area of interest, including 'micro-managing' the people who are still doing the job. In this way, experts can make poor people managers.

Managerial competence
In contrast to the technical/functional specialists, some people find management a great pleasure in itself and early in their career they will move into managing people and businesses. They are often generalists in scope, preferring a broad understanding of the business and market to a narrow specialism. They love responsibility and broad challenge and take pride in achieving great things for the company. They are typically good at sizing up complex situations and people and enjoy making decisions. They may have good 'people skills' although this is not always true as some succeed by knowing what must be done and forcing through decisions. Others are better at leadership, inspiring their followers to work towards a challenging vision. With an increasing focus in the modern age on human rights and people skills, the task-based bully is a fading management paradigm.

Other anchors
Although Schein identifies the above five anchors as the primary ones, he also notes that there may be other anchors, including:

Variety and change Power and influence Helping others

So what?
If you can identify those anchors which affect you most, then this can help you to understand and make sense of your career so far. It can also help you choose future paths that play to these needs. And of course you can help others in the same way.

See also
Schein, E. (1978). Career Dynamics. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley

The CIA Needs Model


This is an interconnected model of needs that is unique to the Changing Minds site. What makes it really useful is the simple focus it gives to three key needs. This lets us use it for persuasion by giving a map of the needs hotbuttons that drive people forward. Note: The CIA Model is an update of the earlier CIN Model. Novelty has been now replaced with arousal as this is a deeper and more encompassing need.

CIA needs
CIA stands for Control, Identity and Arousal, which is the general priority order in which we experience them.

Our Sense of Control tells us when we are safe and can bend our environment to our purposes. Our Sense of Identity tells us who we are, especially relative to other people.

Our Sense of Arousal tells us that we are learning, improving and evolving. It also helps us compete.

Control and Identity are hidden in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, with lower needs for health and safety appearing in the need for a sense of control, and higher needs for belonging, esteem and actualization being related to the deep need for a sense of identity. Note the we do not always need control and identity--what is important in most cases is that we believe that we have them. Hence the need is for a sense of them. A common desire is to be 'rich and famous', which betrays the commonality of control and identity needs. Yet what do the rich and famous seek? Stereotypically, they want 'sex, drugs and rock-and-roll' -- in other words, to be aroused.

Evolutionary needs
Evolutionary needs are fundamental and drive satisfaction of the three key needs. These include:

If we can stay healthy and survive long enough, we may be able to procreate and have children. Control helps this. To get the best mate, we will have to compete, which may mean fighting or trickery. Control helps, as does identity when it makes us confident and seek higher status. For survival of the species, we also want our children to reach maturity and mate, so we need to protect them as best we can. Again, control is important and identifying with our family helps keep us together.

Underpinning needs
There are a number of other needs which lead to the three key needs. For a sense of control, we seek:

Completion, certainty and winning tell we are getting there. Understanding and consistency help us predict (and hence control) what will happen. Repetition confirms our beliefs and models as still valid. Belonging to a group lends us the identity of the group. To stay in the group we must conform to their rules. The esteem of others raises our sense of identity and affords us status. Everyone likes a winner so we try to succeed. Being able to explain casts us as expert and rational. Boredom and curiosity kick us into action. Achievable challenges act to stimulate us. Novelty attracts us. Anticipation of pleasurable or painful arousal attracts or repels us (although pain can still be better than no arousal).

For a sense of identity, we seek:

For a sense of arousal, we are driven when:

Inner and outer


Another way of exploring CIA is to consider the different inner and outer aspects of it. The table below gives indication of this, although it is not definitive.

Inner Health Self-control Inner calm Confidence Knowledge and skills

Outer Safety Control of other people Trust in other people Connecting with others Belonging to groups Esteem of others Social status Social interaction

Control

Clear beliefs and values Integrity Identity Self-knowledge Arousal Imagination and creativity

Problem-solving Day-dreaming

Physical contact with others New experiences

Similar systems
There have been similar 3-level systems of needs proposed by others. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, there are some close parallels. The CIA model has proven particularly useful in situations of practical persuasion where understanding in these terms can help shape persuasive actions.

CIA model James (1892) Alderfer (1972) Mathes (1981) Deci/Ryan (1991)

Control Material Existence Physiological Autonomy

Identity Social Relatedness Belongingness Relatedness

Arousal Spiritual Growth Self-actualization Competence

Apparently even Linus Torvalds, the orginator of the Linux operating system has described a parallel set of needs as survival, sociability, and entertainment, which is surprisingly close to the CIA needs.

So what?
So build tension by impacting their needs, possibly through the systems they have already built to satisfy those needs. Create closure by offering solutions that meet needs. Give control through such as choice or involvement. Boost identity through such as inclusion or admiration. Offer arousal through such as novelty or challenge. Our need for arousal and control can conflict. Control is about stability. Arousal may lead to change. As control is the deeper need, it often displaces arousal. So if a competitor is seeking arousal, you could shake their sense of control.

See also
Maslow's Hierarchy, McClelland's Acquired Needs Theory, Kano's needs, Herzberg's needs

References
Alderfer, C. (1972). Existence, relatedness, & growth. New York: Free Press James, W. (1892/1962). Psychology: Briefer course. New York: Collier Mathes, E. (1981). Maslow's hierarchy of needs as a guide for living. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 21, 69-72 Deci, E. and Ryan, R. (1991). A motivational approach to self: Integration in personality. In R. Dienstbier (Ed.), Perspectives on motivation. Nebraska Symposium on Motivation. Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press

CIA Internal Conflicts


The CIA Needs Model provides a useful way of understanding fundamental human drivers, yet we do not always seem to fall into harmony with it. A reason for this is that each of our needs for control, identity and arousal contain fundamental conflicts such that if we are satisfying the need one way, we are dissatisfying it the other way. This keeps us in continual driving tension such that we both flip between the poles even as we find a natural point of balance that defines our personality.

Control Conflict: Managing risks. Identity Conflict: Who am I?

More to come...

So what?
Understand how CIA needs can become conflicted with themselves and then seek either to help people to reduce these or use your knowledge in creating tensions that change minds. Also watch for tensions between the needs, which often serve only to complicate the situation.

See also
CIA Needs Model, Stress

Control Conflict
Explanations > Needs > Internal CIA Conflicts > Control Conflict Taking control | Ceding control | The central issue | So what?

We all have a need for a sense of control so we can predict and manage events in the world around us. However, this is a need that is never satisfied as it has inner conflicts.

Taking control
The simplest method of gaining a sense of control is to take control, making your own decisions, doing things for yourself and giving commands, rather than accepting them. In this way you are beholden to nobody else.

Conflict
A conflict here is that, unless you live as a hermit, you cannot do everything for yourself. You cannot grow all your own food, make all your own clothes and so on. Giving commands is also fraught as not everyone will accept your directions, especially those who consider themselves superior or independent. To live in society, you have to depend on others who may refuse requests, make demands and otherwise grate on your sense of control. Others also seek control and we may fall into conflict with them over this, so we seek power that enables control. The greater the desire to control, the greater the fear of losing it and more power is sought, although the thought of others having even more power creates a constant tension.

Ceding control
Knowing that you cannot control everything, the alternative is to cede control to others, trusting them to help you feel that all is well.

Conflict
The conflict here comes first from the concern that not everyone is trustworthy, even though they may claim they are. We know the human species is sadly deceitful and hence we feel we have to take some control with actions to assess and assure trustworthiness. Even this is not enough so we worry about risks and constantly monitor our environment for threats. It is also possible that we want to give control to others who do not want this responsibility. Giving control also often implies taking a child position, seeking a caring, nurturing adult. Being a child can be frustrating in what you are not allowed to do, yet it also is a place where you will always be rescued and forgiven. Being an adult can leave a deep yearning for that time, for the innocence and safety, for someone who will provide for you and always pick up the pieces when things go wrong.

The central issue


It is not just people who pose risks but nature and random events. Things can happen without intent and, though we may reduce the chance of natural disaster by building shelters and collaborating with others, a residual tension always remains. The central issue that sustains conflict is the unpredictability of the world and our limited ability to control this. There are constant threats and risks, whether we take control ourselves or cede this to others. Our beliefs in ourselves and others may give rise to an illusion of control, yet experience teaches us that this is not absolute.

So what?
Manage control conflicts by first understanding the natural balance of the person between taking and ceding control, and then comparing this with the situation they face. Increase tension by moving them away from their balance point and help them by moving them towards balance. Help a lack of ability to take needed control by coaching or otherwise enabling them to be more in control, for example by teaching them to use structured planning. Where they need to cede control, help them trust others by showing them how people care, are reliable and are largely honest. Get them to let go a little and see that the world does not end and that things still happen as needed.

See also
The Need for a Sense of Control, Trust, Power

Identity Conflict
We all have a need for a sense of identity, of who we are and our place in the world. This is not always easy and we may be challenged in many ways. There are also inner conflicts that make settling on who we really are a difficult process.

Separate self
For anything to exist, it must be separate somehow from its environment. It needs a boundary that lets us know what is a part of it and what is not a part of it. Likewise, to know our own selves we need to pull away from the world to find our boundaries.

Conflict
A conflict here is that we need the world around us and other people to create this separation. I need to know a tree so I know I am not a tree. And I need you to know I am not you. Yet knowing you creates a connection with you, so I am not separate. Another conflict occurs where we are unsure of who we are and cannot isolate a single, separate self, the 'real me', from the many 'me's of multiple identity. It is common to feel you have more than one personality, in particular ones which are tied to different contexts and feelings, hence the work self, the home self, the stressed self, the angry self and so on. The question 'Who am I?' is often asked and often not fully answered.

United selves
We are social and spiritual creatures. We like to have friends, live in society and feel a part of something greater than ourselves. We define ourselves through our connections, even seeing ourselves as others see us.

Conflict
This creates a conflict where the more we connect, the more we place our identity outside, the more our boundaries erode and the less distinct our identities become. We typically want the penny and the bun, to both be like other people and to be different

The central issue


A dilemma of identity is that it is reflexive, that we need an 'I' to define the 'I', which makes 'I' impossible to fully identify. We also have an infant history of early warm bonding and unity out of which the sense of separation emerged. This leaves a sustaining tension to re-unite with others and the world, while the sense of self (and the control this gives) is too important to give up. The central issue is how to sustain a separate, autonomous self while connecting with others and immersing ourselves in the world. 'Letting go' can be immensely joyful yet we need our self to know that pleasure. This tension is found in other self-vs-others situations, including:

Preferences for extraversion vs. introversion Values of social concern vs. selfishness Psychoanalytic concepts such as the Mirror Phase and Oedipal transition

Separation and unity are also related to the sense of control and create another tension here, as being separate allows personal choice, yet together we can achieve so much more.

So what?
Help people discover themselves by exploring their boundaries, of who they are and who they are not. This includes looking at basic drivers such as beliefs, models,values, goals and so on. Talk about what is important for them and how they relate to others. Help them let go of past things so they can look forward to the 'new me'. You can also challenge people who do bad things by asking 'Is that the real you?' Few people want to be thought of as bad and so may change their selves (and in consequence their actions).

See also
Identity, Psychoanalysis

Doyal and Gough's Needs


Len Doyal and lan Gough differentiate between basic health needs and the more cognitive autonomous needs, and have created a useful list of intermediate needs. Their model also considers the satisfaction of needs for entire groups as well as for individuals.

Health needs

Physical health needs are the fundamental requirements in order to stay alive. For this you first need food and water. It is also important to avoid situations where you may be killed or hurt. The person also needs to not catch diseases. Overall, the nature of what we do with regard to these needs is around avoiding harm. As with Maslow's Hierarchy, health needs are most important and will take precedence when they are threatened or impacted.

Autonomous needs
Overall, the nature of action with regard to autonomous needs is around making informed choices to achieve conscious goals. To make these choices, a person needs three attributes:

Mental health Cognitive (thinking) skills Opportunities to engage in social participation

We are all driven by cultural and social norms and so autonomous needs are closely related to esteem. We need both to obey these norms and also to identify personal goals towards which we can work. Critical autonomy is about going beyond the constraints of culture that can easily limit the choices that a person makes, and which acts as unspoken and assumed boundaries. Breaking social and cultural rules can require significant courage.

Intermediate needs
Doyal and Gough identify eleven 'intermediate needs' (or universal satisfier characteristics) for things that are essential for basic needs and enable autonomous needs to be satisfied.

1. Adequate nutritional food and water 2. Adequate protective housing 3. Non-hazardous work environment 4. Non-hazardous physical environment 5. Appropriate health care 6. Security in childhood 7. Significant primary relationships with others 8. Physical security 9. Economic security 10. Safe birth control and child-bearing 11. Appropriate basic and cross-cultural education

Preconditions
Needs do not just simply result in action and there are both procedural and material preconditions that must be satisfied. Procedural preconditions are about the ability to identify needs and ways of satisfying them. Where there are groups of people involved, this requires discussion and agreement, including the resolution of any conflict around these. Three procedural preconditions are hence identified:

1. Rational identification of needs 2. Use of practical knowledge to identify needs satisfiers 3. Democratic resolution for agreement by stakeholders
Material preconditions are about the capacity to produce and deliver need satisfiers. Four material preconditions are identified:

1. 2. 3. 4.

Production of satisfiers, efficiently Distribution to individuals with separate needs Needs transformation, turning the satisfiers into satisfaction Material reproduction within the process, including use of time and goods

So what?
The principle of autonomy is a useful consideration in persuasion where you can give the other person choice and hence not create reaction. The intermediate needs list is a useful checklist of things to check, for example a person who has limited economic security will be more concerned about pricing.

See also
Doyal, L. and Gough, I. (1991). A Theory of Human Need, Macmillan Gough, I. (1994) Economic Institutions and the Satisfaction of Human Needs. Journal of Economic Issues. 28, 1 (March 9), 2566

Eight Need Domains


In a review of the literature about children's needs, Sue Price identifies eight needs domains. In fact these are applicable for adults too.

Physical
The need for physical safety and protection from harm. This includes defense against attack as well as protection from extremes of weather, including wetness, heat and cold. If these needs are not met, the body may be physically harmed and the person may hence become ill and die.

Physiological
The body has particular needs for sustenance, including water and a balanced range of nutrients. When harmed, the body needs repair. The body is, in general, quite good at repairing itself (particularly when it is younger), although there is a point beyond which it needs external medical assistance. If these needs are not met, at best the person may perform below their potential (physically and mentally). At worst, they may fall ill and die.

Psychological
The mind also needs a certain safety. It needs to make sense of its environment and perceive that it is safe. Just as the body may be physically threatened or attacked, so also can the mind be psychologically threatened or attacked, with equally devastating effect. And just as we can build physical defenses so also can psychological defense be developed.

Social
We are social beings that have learned over millennia that living in social groups is generally better for survival. We thus have build needs to be attached to others and for their approval. This starts with connection with our parents and continues into general society. When social needs are not met we feel alone and rejected. This is a very powerful force on us and the threat of being ostracized keeps many people in line with social rules.

Emotional
Like many other animals, our emotions act strongly on us, forcing us to act through effective sensations of pain and pleasure. Our emotional needs are thus to avoid pain and to experience pleasure. Emotional pain and pleasure thus act as 'push and pull' on us, powerfully guiding our lives.

Intellectual
We have a need to think and for intellectual stimulation. Intellectual problems thus engage us, from 'whodunnit' murder mystery dramas to Sudoku puzzles. It does seem, however, that more intense intellectual pursuits are more pleasurable for some than others. This is partly due to genetic factors (which have a significant impact on intelligence) as well as personal motivation.

Educational
We also have a need to learn. At a basic level, this enables us to adapt to the changing environment and so avoid threats. It also allows us to improve our lot and generally have a better life. The brain rewards learning with dopamine, the natural opiate 'aha' drug. Curiosity and boredom are stimulating emotions that probe us into satisfying learning needs. Educational needs also feed intellectual needs and learning can be done solely for this purpose.

Spiritual
At what some would describe as the highest level of needs, we seek one-ness with the universe or a perceived deity. We thus pray, meditate and commune with nature, seeking our own personal nirvana.

So what?
Understand these needs as with others, and consider in your communications which of these you are threatening or rewarding.

See also

Price, S. (1994). The special needs of children, Joumal of Advanced Nursing, 1994,20, 227-232

ERG Theory
Description
Clayton Alderfer extended and simplified Maslow's Hierarchy into a shorter set of three needs: Existence, Relatedness and Growth (hence 'ERG'). Unlike Maslow, he did not see these as being a hierarchy, but being more of a continuum.

Existence
At the lowest level is the need to stay alive and safe, now and in the foreseeable future. When we have satisfied existence needs, we feel safe and physically comfortable. This includes Maslow's Physiological and Safety needs.

Relatedness At the next level, once we are safe and secure, we consider our social needs. We are now interested in relationships with other people and what they think of us. When we are related, we feel a sense of identity and position within our immediate society. This encompasses Maslow's Love/belonging and Esteem needs. Growth At the highest level, we seek to grow, be creative for ourselves and for our environment. When we are successfully growing, we feel a sense of wholeness, achievement and fulfilment. This covers Maslow's Self-actualization and Transcendence.

So what?
Using it
Find the relative state of the other person's needs for each of existence, relatedness and growth. Find ways of either threatening or helping to satisfy the needs.

Defending
Know how well your own needs in this model are met, and what would threaten or improve them. Be careful when other people do things that threaten or promise to improve them.

See also
The CIA Needs Model, Maslow's Hierarchy

Evolutionary Needs
One of the basic and perhaps most degrading tenets of Darwinian evolution, which was expounded by Richard Dawkins in 'The Selfish Gene', is that we are little more than 'gene machines'. Seen from a fundamentalist evolutionary sense, our sole purpose in life is to propagating our genes, and our needs are honed to relentlessly drive us in this direction.

Staying alive
The first step towards procreation is in staying healthy and alive. This means finding food and shelter and, if necessary, beating other people in order to get it.

Finding a mate
Once we are reasonably secure, the next step towards procreating our genes is finding a mate (and doing the deed, of course). For this, we again may need to beat off other suitors, or at least impress our potential partners sufficiently that they choose to mate with us rather than our genetic competitors. The fact that the male is larger than the female is a common sign that humans are naturally a male-dominated society in which dominant males will have more than one mate. The larger male is not only better able to fight off other males, but they are also able to keep women in their place. The force of genetics sadly does not know about Political Correctness.

What men want


Men and women look for different things in their partners. Men look for women who seem likely to be able to bear plenty of strong children. They thus look for women who:

are young and healthy and have many childbearing years ahead of them.

have large breasts for feeding their children. have wide hips so they will not have delivery problems.

Men are also easily fooled by symbolism such as red lipstick that reminds them of a full vagina and make-up that fills in the cracks and makes the woman look younger than she is. Men are not monogamous by nature, and a man will happily have children with many women, as this spreads his seed around and increases the chances of successful propagation of his genes.

What women want


Women are not like men. A major difference is that they are generally left to bring up the children, giving them ten to twenty years of work after their debilitating nine months of pregnancy. They thus look for men who:

are strong and powerful and can feed and protect them and their children. are kind and thoughtful and will stay with them.

Women thus will settle for older men who have gained affluence and position in society and who may be less likely to stray. They fight other women not with strength, but with cunning and carefully-placed words (which they also use to great effect with men). Women are not predisposed toward sleeping around, as the result cannot be hidden from their mates and having too many children may kill them or otherwise reduce the chances of their children surviving.

Nurturing our young


It is no good having children if we then let them die before they can pass their genes on to their children. We thus are motivated to look after our children at least until they can fly the nest. This can be a difficult transition, but nature again has provided the answer in adolescence, where our teenagers push back so hard and often that we are relieved to see them set out on their own!

The next generation


Being a grandparent is a very satisfying thing, as you now have proof that your genes have been passed on and that the responsibility for their propagation can now be handed back to your children whenever you get a bit tired.

So what?
Sex sells. This is because it appeals to this most basic of needs. Use sexy women to sell to men and powerful men to sell to women. Create tension by showing the opposite sex being won away by another person. Show perfect bodies and promise 'you, too, can have a body like this'. Children sell too. Awaken nurturing instincts by showing their innocence and vulnerability.

See also
Gender, The CIA Needs Model

Glasser's Five Needs


William Glasser, in his 'Control Theory' (later renamed to 'Choice Theory') detailed five needs that are quite close to Maslow's Hierarchy, but with some interesting twists.

1. Survival
This is similar to Maslow's Physiological and Safety level. They are basic needs which are of little interest unless they are threatened.

2. Love and belonging


This is the same as Maslow's Belonging need and recognises how important it is for us as a tribal species to be accepted by our peers.

3. Power or recognition
This maps to some extent to Maslow's Esteem need, although the Power element focuses on our ability to achieve our goals (which is perhaps a lower-levelcontrol need).

4. Freedom
This is the ability to do what we want, to have free choice. It is connected with procedural justice where we seek fair play.

5. Fun
An interesting ultimate goal. When all else is satisfied, we just (as Cyndi Lauper sang) 'want to have fun'.

Herzberg's Motivation-Hygiene Theory


Description
We have basic needs (hygiene needs) which, when not met, cause us to be dissatisfied. Meeting these needs does not make us satisfied -- it merely prevents us from becoming dissatisfied. The 'hygiene' word is deliberately medical as it is an analogy of the need to do something that is necessary, but which does contribute towards making the patient well (it only stops them getting sick). These are also called these maintenance needs. There is a separate set of needs which, when resolved, do make us satisfied. These are called motivators. This theory is also called Herzberg's two-factor theory.

Research
Herzberg asked people about times when they had felt good about their work. He discovered that the key determinants of job satisfaction were Achievement, Recognition, Work itself, Responsibility and Advancement. He also found that key dissatisfiers were Company policy and administration, Supervision, Salary, Interpersonal relationships and Working conditions. What struck him the most was that these were separate groups with separate evaluation, and not a part of the same continuum. Thus if the company resolved the dissatisfiers, they would not create satisfaction.

Example
I need to be paid on time each month so I can pay my bills. If I am not paid on time, I get really unhappy. But when I get paid on time, I hardly notice it. On the other hand, when my boss gives me a pat on the back, I feel good. I don't expect this every day and don't especially miss not having praise all of the time.

So what?
Using it
Differentiate between hygiene needs and motivator needs. Ensure you address motivator needs when getting someone to do something. Attacking hygiene needs may be effective when trying to stop them doing something.

Defending
Beware of the person giving you what you really need. Ask 'What's in it for them?'

See also
Operant Conditioning, Maslow's Hierarchy, Kano's needs, Attraction and avoidance Herzberg, F., Mausner, B., Peterson, R.D. and Capwell, D.F. (1957). Job attitudes: Review of research and opinions. Pittsburgh: Psychological Service of Pittsburgh Herzberg, F., Mausner, B., and Snyderman, B.B. 1959. The motivation to work. New. York: Wiley Herzberg, F. (1966). Work and the nature of man. Cleveland, OH. Holland. Herzberg, F. 1968. One more time: how do you motivate employees? Harvard Business Review (JanuaryFebruary):53-62.

Horney's Neurotic Needs


Neuroticism is a tendency to anxiety that particularly affects neurotic, typically to the point of having a significant negative impact on their lives (and often of those around them). Psychoanalyst Karen Horney described ten 'neurotic needs' that are divided by underlying movement relative to other people into three categories, as below. These are all natural human needs -- the major difference is that neurotic people take them to extreme. Horney noted that when young and as we develop our sense of identity, we tend to idealize this identity, but then we realize that we are not perfect and so start to hate ourselves. When not resolved, this self-loathing is directly related to the neurotic needs.

Moving towards people


Moving towards people recognizes others as potential resources who can support us and help reduce our anxiety. We hence seek affection, approval and someone close who can save us.

1. Affection and approval

We want other people to love and approve of us. When they do so, they externally affirm our sense of identity. In order to help this social desirability bias, we tend to automatically raise our game when others are watching, with the focus of attention in others more than in ourselves. Neurotics doubt their own worth and expect and dread criticism from others. They hence value greatly being told they are are worthy. Yet this is only temporary respite as the underlying problem of a lack of self-esteem is not resolved. Hence the need for attention continues.

2. A partner
A partner is a person with whom you can share your problems. In a neurotic relationship the partner may be seen as a person who will also solve all problems, maybe even saving the neurotic person from their issues or themselves. In this, 'love' is seen as a solution to all problems. The neurotic person may love the partner in a dysfunctional way. If I do not like myself, then perhaps I can project myself into the other person so I can love them as a substitute for loving myself. Partners allow for actions such as projective identification. To achieve these ends, the person may be highly manipulative within the relationship and very 'clinging' as they fear they partner will leave and that they will be alone with their self-loathing.

Moving against people


While seeking approval and help from others, the neurotic person also may seek to control them and reduce the threat and model of normality that others represent.

3. Power
Power is the ability to dominate others, to impose one's will. Having power gives a sense of control and the feeling of omnipotence. It is something like money: you must first acquire it, and the acquisition and sustaining of power can be an end in itself. Fearing a lack of control and being helpless, neurotic people desperately seek power. They admire strength and may well be contemptuous of weakness, especially as they achieve power.

4. Exploit and beat others


Concerned first and last for themselves, neurotic people have little respect for others and will callously use the power they have to exploit other people to their own ends, even taking pride in this ability. They value foresight and prediction and may well feel they are better at this than others. They seek to control both themselves and others often by argument and words rather than more open use of power, particularly where they are not sure of their own power and are anxious about the impact of its use. They will also use money, ideas, sexuality, emotion and any other means at their disposal. They have a particular need to believe in the almost magical omnipotence of willpower and may hence be obsessive in its pursuit, wearing down other people with sheer persistence and reacting strongly to any frustration of their wishes.

5. Social recognition
We all enjoy the boost to our sense of identity when we are recognized by others. Neurotic people have a lesser view of themselves and so value prestige and recognition somewhat more highly than others. Everything they own may be assessed and honed in terms of the social value and how they may be perceived by others, including their jewels, friends, clothes, activities and all aspects of the self. In doing this they seek to understand how others value and admire things and will then play to this standard.

6. Personal admiration
We all seek the esteem of others as another boost to our sense of identity. The neurotic person not only wants recognition or basic esteem, they want to be recognized as being their ideal self, both internally and externally. The want not just for people to tell them they are ok, they want constant reassurance that they are perfect. Of course they do not get this and so are never content with any admiration or recognition that they do get. An effect of this is that they work hard to get the admiration, which can make them successful in some ways, although their extreme desires means they are never satisfied and continue to dread the humiliation of losing admiration.

7. Personal achievement
It is normal to have personal goals and take pleasure when hard work leads to achieving these. The neurotic person seeks not just achievement but superiority to all others. They want to be the best in every areas. Not achieving this makes them feel like a failure, a thought which fills them with dread. This can drive them to seeking to ensure they win, by fair means or foul, although their need for recognition and admiration from others means they must do this subtly, in a way that avoids blame falling on them for the failure of others.

Moving away from people


Fearing criticism and the harm that other people may bring, the neurotic person may well pull back from them or hold parts of themself at a safe distance.

8. Self sufficiency and independence

We all need independence in order to manage our own lives without having to be dependent on others. This is the basic force that drives many of us into work about which we care little but which pays enough to keep us independent of others. In their drive for perfection, the neurotic person seeks control and being in charge of their own destiny. With their self-focus, they may decide that others are just too problematic and reject them from parts of their life, other than when they need things such as affection and praise. What they fear in particular is becoming too attached to others such that others will gain control of them or will reject and so terribly hurt them.

9. The need for perfection


Neurotic people are motivated by the gap between idealized image they think they should be and the reality and fear that they are far less than perfect. This creates deep anxieties about imperfection and an obsessive drive for perfection. Although they know they are not perfect, they may well feel superior to others. They hate criticism and dread finding flaws in themself or making any kind of mistake.

10. To restrict life within narrow borders


Feeling threatened and undeserving, the neurotic person will be content with relatively little, restricting their own ambitions and material desires. Feeling unworthy, they keep their heads down and put themselves last in the queue for life's rewards. As a part of this, they avoid making demands or expressing wishes, playing down any talents or abilities they have under the guise of necessary modesty. Fearing loss, they save rather than spend.

So what?
While Horney's neurotic needs are less applicable to the average person they may be useful in diagnosing those who have a more neurotic tendency and so give you the basis for a more effective response. A notable aspect of the neurotic person is the obsession with the self and a similarity to the narcissistic personality. Based on an early inability to transition to a healthy self, they are trapped by the desire for a false and unattainable perfection. This self-based tension makes it hard to related well to others and take a successful place in society. Their best way of finding success is through the hard work they do to seek the perfection they crave. Their relationships with others are often asymmetric and unhealthy, with their focus on the self. Influencing neurotic people can be helped by an understanding of the factors described above.

See also
Kahler's Drivers, Narcissistic Personality, Ellis' Irrational Beliefs Horney, K. (1942). Self-Analysis, NY: Norton Horney, K. (1950). Neurosis and Human Growth, NY: Norton

Kano's Needs
Japanese consultant Noriaki Kano has produce a simple diagram that was intended for use in understanding business customer needs, but also is applicable to general psychological situations.

Basic needs
Basic needs are similar to Herzberg's hygiene needs, in that meeting these needs does not lead to satisfaction. They are the things that we expect to get without having to ask for them. When they are being met, we hardly notice them. When we buy a second-hand car, we expect it to have five fully-inflated tires with good amount of tread on them. If we got home and found the spare was bald and punctured, we would not be happy bunnies. Basic needs can be found by watching what people complain about. Look in customer complaints. Ask people about their worst experiences. People often like to have a good moan and once you've got them going, they will be a gold mine for identifying basic needs.

Performance needs
Performance needs are those things which are at the top of our consciousness and which we will deliberately seek. If these are well met we are happy; if they are not well met, we become dissatisfied. When buying a second-hand car, these are the things that we will ask about, such as traction control and modern styling. Performance needs come from two sources. When basic needs have not been met before, they may escalate next time to performance needs. More commonly, they come from expectations that have been set, either from such as magazines and friends or by the persuader. Thus the car salesperson may point out that the new safety protection system is something that every family is asking about these days. Performance needs are easy to find: just ask what people want. Sometimes they will even have written out a checklist.

Excitement needs
Beyond basic and performance needs, you can still impress the other person. Excitement needs are those things that we did not expect, those little extras that make us gasp with delight. Thus you may be amazed by a new hands--free radio system or even something as simple as a soft-hold padded steering wheel. A simple equation that has been put forward fits here: Delight = Expectation + 1. This equates to doing small things beyond performance needs. It doesn't take much to delight someone. Additional excitement needs are often wasted, as once you have caught their imagination, then you cannot catch it more. The essence of excitement is surprise, and the essence of surprise is unexpectedness. You can surprise by revealing carefully or sudden appearance. After we have received an excitement need, it is no longer a surprise, and we may well ask for it next time, making it a performance need. Thus excitement needs need constant innovation. Coupled with the move of performance needs to basic needs, we can see a general drift downwards and to the right.

So what?
If you want to destabilize the other person, attack their basic needs, otherwise you make sure they are satisfied. Do not try to tempt people by offering to satisfy basic needs. Listen carefully to their performance needs and find ways of meeting them. Remember: this is where they will be paying most attention. Find small ways of delivering small and imaginative exciters. Do this elegantly in ways that surprise and delight. Do not over do this, especially not at the expense of performance and certainly not basic needs.

See also
Herzberg's needs Understanding Customer Requirements (web page)

References
Kano, N. Seraku, Takashi, F. and Tsuji, S. (1984) Attractive Quality and Must-Be Quality. Methurn, MA: GOAL/QPC

Maslow's Hierarchy
In 1943 Abraham Maslow, one of the founding fathers of humanist approaches to management, wrote an influential paper that set out five fundamental human needs needs and their hierarchical nature. They are quoted and taught so widely now that many people perceive this model as the definitive set of needs and do not look further.

The hierarchical effect


A key aspect of the model is the hierarchical nature of the needs. The lower the needs in the hierarchy, the more fundamental they are and the more a person will tend to abandon the higher needs in order to pay attention to sufficiently meeting the lower needs. For example, when we are ill, we care little for what others think about us: all we want is to get better.

Maslow called the first four needs 'D-need' as they are triggered when we have a deficit. Only self-actualization is a need that we seek for solely positive reasons. Maslow also called them 'instinctoid' as they are genetically programmed into us as essential for evolutionary survival. Loss of these during childhood can lead to trauma and lifelong fixation. Click on the needs in the diagram below for more detail, or read below for a quick summary of each.

Note that in practice this hierarchy is only approximate and you do not have to have your physiologically needs fully satisfied before going on to seeking higher needs. In their global survey, for example, Tay and Diener (2011) found that people can be living in hazardous poverty and yet still derive much satisfaction from having social needs (belonging and esteem) fulfilled.

The five needs


Physiological needs are to do with the maintenance of the human body. If we are unwell, then little else matters until we recover. Safety needs are about putting a roof over our heads and keeping us from harm. If we are rich, strong and powerful, or have good friends, we can make ourselves safe. Belonging needs introduce our tribal nature. If we are helpful and kind to others they will want us as friends. Esteem needs are for a higher position within a group. If people respect us, we have greater power. Self-actualization needs are to 'become what we are capable of becoming', which would our greatest achievement.

Three more needs


These are the needs that are most commonly discussed and used. In fact Maslow later added three more needs by splitting two of the above five needs. Between esteem and self-actualization needs was added:

Need to know and understand, which explains the cognitive need of the academic. The need for aesthetic beauty, which is the emotional need of the artist. Self-actualization, which is realizing one's own potential, as above. Transcendence, which is helping others to achieve their potential.

Self-actualization was divided into:

So what?
Using it
To distract people from higher needs, threaten their lower needs. It is no surprise that poison has been effectively used to bring down kings and princes without necessarily killing them. Perceive and help people to meet the needs on which they currently focused. Their attention is here and they will thank you for assistance in meeting their present needs. Encourage them reach up to higher needs. Let them see and reach up to the greater things in life. Create a tension which you can use for your purpose.

Defending
Seek only needs at your current level. Neither retreat too rapidly to lower needs nor reach too quickly for higher needs. When you are ready, only then reach in your own time for higher needs. If other people seek to help you, you may accept their help but are not obliged to repay in any way they demand.

See also
CIN Model, Argyris' Model 1, Murray's Needs, Evolution

References
Maslow (1943), Maslow and Lowery (1998) Tay L, and Diener E. (2011). Needs and subjective well-being around the world. Journal of Personal Social Psychology, 101, 2, 354-65.

Max-Neef Needs
Description
Max-Neef (1992) describes nine different needs:

Subsistence Protection Affection Understanding Participation Leisure Creation Identity Freedom

Discussion
Max-Neef defined needs as being fulfilled by satisfiers, which themselves are defined as ...everything which, by virtue of representative forms of being, having, doing and interacting, contributes to the actualisation of human needs.

So what?
Understand Max-Neef needs in the context of other models. Find which works for you or even use a combination. Understand your own needs and those of others and leverage needs gaps to persuade.

See also
Max-Neef, M.A,. Elizalde,A. and Hopenhayn, M. (1991) Human Scale Development. The Apex Press

Acquired Needs Theory


Description
Need are shaped over time by our experiences over time. Most of these fall into three general categories of needs:

Achievement (nAch) Affiliation (nAff) Power (nPow)

Acquired Needs Theory is also known as the Three-Need Theory or Learned Need Theory.

We have different preferences


We will tend have one of these needs that affects us more powerfully than others and thus affects our behaviors:

Achievers seek to excel and appreciate frequent recognition of how well they are doing. They will avoid low risk activities that have no chance of gain. They also will avoid high risks where there is a significant chance of failure. Affiliation seekers look for harmonious relationships with other people. They will thus tend to conform and shy away from standing out. The seek approval rather than recognition. Power seekers want power either to control other people (for their own goals) or to achieve higher goals (for the greater good). They seek neither recognition nor approval from others -only agreement and compliance.

Identifying preferences
A common way of discovering our tendencies towards these is with a Thematic Apperception Test, which is a set of black-and-white pictures on cards, each showing an emotionally powerful situation. The person is presented with one card at a time and asked to make up a story about each situation.

So what?
Using it
Challenge achievers with stretching goals. Offer affiliation-seekers safety and approval. Beware of personal power-seekers trying to turn the tables on you or use other Machiavellian methods. Make sure you have sufficient power of your own, or show how you can help them achieve more power.

Defending
Understand your own tendencies. Curb the excesses and, especially if you seek affiliation, beware of those who would use this against you and for their own benefit alone.

See also
Needs http://www.css.edu/users/dswenson/web/LEAD/McClelland.html http://www.wvup.edu/jcc/mgmt410/McClelland.pdf http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1650/htmlmcclelland.html

References
McClelland (1975), McClelland and Burnham (1976)

Mumford's Needs
Mumford (1976) assumed that employees did not simply see their job as a means to an end by had needs which related to the nature of their work.

1. Knowledge needs
Work that utilizes their knowledge and skills. To do a job, employees need several kinds of knowledge, including:

Professional knowledge about the discipline. Procedural knowledge on how to do a particular job. Locational knowledge on what can be found where. Social knowledge on how to influence others.

2. Psychological needs
As with all people, employees have inner human needs such as recognition, responsibility, status and advancement. A problem that can occur is where employers treat their people as machines to be commanded and ignore their psychological needs.

3. Task needs
We have needs around what we do, including having meaningful work and some degree of autonomy to be able to achieve success under our own steam.

4. Moral needs
Related to psychological needs, we have the need to be treated as intelligent and valued people. In other words, employers should treat employees in the way they would themselves wish to be treated.

Murray's Needs
This is the list of 'psychogenic' needs identified in Explorations in Personality, edited by Henry A. Murray in 1938. They are divided into five groups.

Ambition needs
Need Achievement Exhibition Recognition Definition To accomplish difficult tasks, overcoming obstacles and achieving expertize. To impress others through one's actions and words, even if what is said or done is shocking. To show achievements to others and gain recognition for these.

Materialistic needs
Need Acquisition Retention Order Construction Definition To acquire things. To keep things that have been acquired. To make things clean, neat and tidy. To make and build things.

Power needs
Need Abasement Aggression Autonomy Blame avoidance Contrariance Deference Dominance Harm avoidance Infavoidance Definition To surrender and submit to others, accept blame and punishment. To enjoy pain and misfortune. To forcefully overcome an opponent, controlling, taking revenge or punishing them. To break free from constraints, resisting coercion and dominating authority. To be irresponsible and independent. To not be blamed for things done. To oppose the attempted persuasion of others. To admire a superior person, praising them and yielding to them and following their rules. To control one's environment, controlling other people through command or subtle persuasion. To escape or avoid pain, injury and death. To avoid being humiliated or embarrassed.

Status defense needs


Need Counteraction Defendance Infavoidance Definition To make up for failure by trying again, pridefully seeking to overcome obstacles. To defend oneself against attack or blame, hiding any failure of the self. To avoid being humiliated or embarrassed.

Affection needs
Need Affiliation Definition To be close and loyal to another person, pleasing them and winning their

friendship and attention. Nurturance Play Rejection Sex Succourance To help the helpless, feeding them and keeping them from danger. To have fun, laugh and relax, enjoying oneself. To separate oneself from a negatively viewed object or person, excluding or abandoning it. To form relationship that lead to sexual intercourse. To have one's needs satisfied by someone or something. Includes being loved, nursed, helped, forgiven and consoled.

Information needs
Need Cognizance Exposition Definition To seek knowledge and ask questions about things in order to understand. To provide information educate others.

Murray also differentiated between physiological primary needs, such as for food and water, and secondary needs, which are more psychological.

So What?
So find out whether the other person has these needs in any form, and help to satisfy them in exchange for what you want of them. You can also stimulate any of them to create tension.

Reference
Murray, H. A. (1938). Explorations in Personality. New York: Oxford University Press

Packard's Eight Hidden Needs


Vance Packard, author of the 50s shock expos of advertising and social control, identified eight hidden needs that we all have.

Emotional security
We all start out as fragile emotional beings and very few of us achieve deep emotional security, so we all keep seeking it. Adverts play to this when they promise comfort, happiness and banishing of bad feelings. They may also play on the security aspect, emphasizing home, permanence and safety.

Reassurance of worth
In a connected world we can lose sense of who we are and what we are worth. We thus seek reassurance that we are adding value and deserve our place in society. Adverts play to this when they promise that if you buy products you will be doing the right thing, for example in saving the environment or helping others. Charities of course play to this all the time, praising you for helping those less fortunate (and maybe who are worth less). Celebrities are also used when they effectively say 'you will be admired and valued like me'.

Ego gratification
Ego gratification is related to worth in that they are both about the sense of identity, but this is perhaps a little more base, where we a need for praise and our egos to be 'stroked'. For example, when we do something at work we want to be congratulated and praised, much as we needed to be valued and praised as a child. Adverts play to this when they praise us for buying products (perhaps ahead of time) or include praise of a sympathetic character (with whom we identify).

Creative outlets
We all like creating and making things, and even a simple assembly process as with Lego toys can bring much pleasure. Many jobs have little creative content, leaving this need unfulfilled. We thus seek creative opportunity in other parts of our life.

Adverts offer creativity when they sell objects where we can be creative, from food ingredients to clothes. They may also touch our creative needs by being creative in the presentation they use.

Love objects
Children and adults want both to love and be loved. Children have dolls and teddy bears, but what do adults have? They have one another, their cars, their pets and gadgets. They need something to love and if they do not have something they will buy or make one. Adverts offer to take us back to childhood with child-like personalities. They sell us things to love and things for our loved ones (including our pets).

Sense of power
When we are in control we a sense of ability to choose and perhaps power over others. When we can direct others we move up the social order and so are, theoretically at least, safer. Big cars, chunky tools, solid houses and old banks all make us feel safe and, when we own or use them, powerful. Adverts thus emphasize the solidity and reliability of the products they sell. They insinuate how buying will put you in charge. They imply that you are in control when you decide to make that purchase.

Roots
Our roots are a key part of our sense of identity. Where we come from, our heritage, our family, our nation are important for that feeling of who we are. We identify with our old school, our college, where we were brought up, our country, our employer, our religion. All are important, and the longer we stay in one place and the longer ago it happened, the more important it is for us. And yet we live mobile lives, flitting from place to place, job to job and even marriage to marriage. We seek roots but in seeking to satisfy other needs we make ourselves rootless. Adverts emphasize family, nation, team and whatever else they can use to anchor you and hence you to them. They show that if you are American then they are American too. They make 'old fashioned' trendy by calling it 'traditional'.

Immortality
Perhaps the biggest fear we have is of death. Or maybe not death but of ceasing, of becoming nothing. We likewise seek to create meaning in our lives so we may live beyond death. We have children, write books, build companies and more. We also seek to cheat age, striving to look younger when perhaps we should grow older more gracefully. Adverts play to this with age-defying products and spry older people playing and enjoying life. They use young people to help us avoid thinking about death and encourage us to recapture a lost youth.

So what?
View these in the light of other systems of needs. Packard was particularly concerned with persuasion, making these needs particularly useful when persuading yourself. Look at your persuasive messages. Which of Packard's needs do they affect? How well do they affect these needs? Could your message be altered to improve the message?

See also
Packard, V. (1957). The Hidden Persuaders, Longmans, Green

Robbins' Six Needs


Tony Robbins has described six human needs. Here's a discussion of each of these. The first four are more about personality and the final two more about 'spirit'. Within these, we tend to have a primary need on which we focus most, possibly at the expense of the remaining needs. As with other needs, the way we achieve these needs may vary significantly and is not always the best way. A way of looking at these needs is in pairs that operate at three levels, as in the table below. The pairs seem contradictory, yet is a part of the paradox and richness of humanity that we can make such opposites work as be balance the needs of the inner self with the forces of the outer world.

Inner Basic Self Certainty Significance

Outer Uncertainty Connection

Spirit

Growth

Contribution

Certainty
First of all, we need certainty in our lives. When we are certain about how things work and how others behave we can predict what will happen in the future and so feel safe. When we are certain about others, we can trust them. When we feel safe, we can relax and reduce our constant scanning for threats. Certainty is related to the CIA need for control, Maslow's needs for health and safety, and McClelland's need for Power.

Uncertainty
While certainty is important, too much is boring. We also want stimulation and novelty to add interest and fun to our lives. This is why people try new things, take risks and gamble, even when they do not need to do so. Uncertainty is related to the CIA need for a sense of arousal.

Significance
We need meaning in our lives and want our lives to have purpose and direction. We want to be important and for others to look up to us. We may gain this in many different ways, from becoming well-qualified to being friendly and helping others. Significance is related to the CIA need for identity, Maslow's needs for esteem and self-actualization, and McClelland's need for achievement.

Connection
Without company, we easily get lonely. We are social animals and connecting with other people is important for us. In this ways, we bond with others as we form friends and extend our sense of who we are. Just as uncertainty balances certainty, so outer connection with others balances the inner need for significance of the self. Connection is related to the CIA need for a sense of identity, Maslow's need for belonging and McClelland's need for affiliation.

Growth
Beyond fulfilling the previous needs, we want to learn and become more than we are. For this purpose we study and want to develop our careers. As a higher need, we can live without it and some people seek little in way of growth, while others are highly motivated to make something more of themselves. Growth is related to the CIA needs for arousal and a sense of identity, Maslow's need for selfactualization and McClelland's need for achievement.

Contribution
Combining growth and connection, contribution takes into account other people and the world at large. If we are active in contributing to other individuals and groups, rather than just 'belonging', we increase our connection with them and it feel good as our sense of identity is expanded. Contribution is related to the CIA need for a sense of identity, Maslow's need for belonging and selfactualization and McClelland's need for achievement.

So what?
Review yourself or others with the lens of these needs, asking the important questions:

Exactly how is each need fulfilled? Which is most important? Which is least important?

Answering these questions can tell you a lot about a person, including how they may behave in certain circumstances and how they may best be motivated.

See also
The CIA Needs Model, Maslow's Hierarchy, Acquired Needs Theory

Self-Determination Theory
Description
People have an external 'perceived locus of causality' (PLOC) to the extent they sees forces outside the self as initiating, pressuring, or coercing ones action. In an internal PLOC a person feels they are the initiator and sustainer of their own actions. People with a higher internal PLOC thus feel self-determined in that they see their behavior as stemming from their own choices, values, and interests, whereas those with an external PLOC experience their behavior as controlled by some external event, person, or force. The internal locus is connected with intrinsic motivation, whilst the external locus is connected with extrinsic motivation. The distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic is a core part of SDT, which was developed in the wake of Behavioralism and Conditioning, where behavior management is based around reward and punishment. SDT extends this extrinsic view to consider intrinsic effects. There are three needs that SDT identifies as requiring satisfaction:

Competence: succeeding in what you do. Relatedness: connecting with others. Autonomy: being in control of your life.

Example
I feel in control of my own life. I feel responsible for my actions. I have a high internal locus and motivate myself. My friend is always complaining that they are being 'forced' to do things and that life is not fair. They have a high external locus and are more affected by reward and punishment.

So What?
Using it
Find out whether people have stronger internal or external locus and then persuade them accordingly. For internal locus, you might show how they are control and let them choose. For external locus you could show how they are being driven by outer forces and then offer a safe haven for them.

Defending
Understand your own PLOC and how you attribute cause. Think about whether this is effective for you and whether you want to change it. Also note how this relates to how others persuade you (and how you persuade yourself).

See also
Control, Intrinsic Motivation, Extrinsic Motivation, Attribution Theory http://www.psych.rochester.edu/SDT/

References
Deci and Ryan (1985)

Spitzer's Eight Desires


Author Dean Spitzer identified eight 'desires of motivation' that may drive people in different ways. This are described and discussed below.

Power
People are motivated by acquiring and wielding power. They like feeling powerful, perhaps as an echo of neonatal sensations of omipotence. People with high power needs like to be in charge. The desire for power can also be seen in feelings of powerlessness which are often linked to feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. Sometimes this can spill over into bullying where hurting others gives pleasure from the use of power. Power at work often aligns with position, expertise and personal charisma. Empowerment of individuals is often desirable to let them get their work done. Note: McClelland includes the need for power. It also indicates a high need for Control.

Activity

We have an innate need to keep active and constantly seek stimulation. This is particularly true of some people who are motivated by action and dislike sitting around waiting or engaging in frustrating planning and preparation. People with a high action need are great for getting things done but may not be the best leaders. The action desire also reflects the need for novelty.

Recognition
A need for recognition is a social need where we feel good when others acknowledge our existence and praise us. People with a high need for recognition appreciate guidance and support, with frequent feedback. They can hence seem rather 'needy.' With this recognition, they can make solid team members. Recognition is close to Maslow's need for esteem. It also plays to the need for a sense of identity.

Affiliation
When we are affiliated, we are linked to other people or institutions, bonding our identity to them. This makes us feel a part of a greater whole, as in neonatal sensations of unity. Where you work is important, and the brand of the company becomes a part of you, as well you a part of it. This is socially important too, as we boast about our employer (or not). Note: McClelland includes the need for Affiliation. It is also close to Maslow's need for belonging and plays to the need for a sense of identity.

Competence
A need for competence linked to the need to achieve, although it can also exist independently. People need to feel that they are expert in something (for academics, this may be enough, with no need for other achievement or recognition). People with a high need for competence often work hard to achieve it and become experts in one or more fields. When they apply this, they can be very good employees, though their thirst for learning can at time be a significant distraction. Sometimes work environments do not help people feel competent as evaluations compare them endlessly with others and there is always pressure to improve. It is also easy to get trapped in the wrong job, where you get a poor reputation and hence find it difficult to move elsewhere.

Ownership
People with a high need for ownership like to be involved in decisions and may thus make good leaders, as long as they do not hug resources and responsibility too tightly. Psychological ownership that we bond with the things we own, valuing them more highly than their true market worth. In our society, what we own is often linked to 'goodness' and worth. This has led to materialism and a consumer culture that some consider unhealthy, yet which is at the heart of a thriving economy. Ownership can also be linked to psychoanalytic notion of desire, with overtones of erotic possession. In business, it is desirable to have employees who 'own' their objectives and their work, being self-motivated to deliver and achieve.

Meaning
We all need to have a sense of meaning in our lives. Often this is not noticed until we lose things that give us meaning, such as our jobs and loves ones. Depression is a state where individual find it hard to see meaning in their lives. The need for meaning is related to the need for a sense of identity and to Maslow's need for self-actualization.

Achievement
The need for achievement is connected with a sense of success that can be quite transitory, leading people with a high need for achievement into almost obsessive repetition of achievement. People with a high need for achievement can make splendid employees, although if they grab the glory from others (especially others who also have a high need for achievement) they can become very unpopular. Note: McClelland includes the need for achievement.

So what?
If you can identify what motivates people then you can use these principles to get them to do what you want them to do. Spitzer also recommends addressing demotivators, including office politics and internal competition, unclear rules and objectives, destructive criticism, etc. He does not propose accepting poor performance -- far from it -recommending addressing this with integrity and alacrity. Other recommendation include employee involvement, designing motivating processes, eliminating boring work, teamwork, open communication, training and intrinsic recognition.

See also
McClelland's Acquired Needs Theory Spitzer, D.R. (1995). SuperMotivation: A Blueprint for Energizing Your Organization from Top to Bottom, AMACOM

The Needs of Children


Children are humans and have human needs. They also have additional needs unique to their particular situation. It is a profound responsibility of parents and carers to provide for these needs.

Basic needs
Food and shelter Children cannot acquire their own food or sustain any reasonable shelter. The initial responsibility of their parents or carers is this to provide a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. Physical safety Children cannot protect themselves from aggressive adults (and other, stronger, children). They thus need others to provide physical safety, keeping them from harm and defending them when they are threatened or attacked. Emotional security As their minds are developing, there is much that children do not understand and even the most innocent situations can be deeply distressing.

Developmental needs
Beyond the basic needs, in order to become functioning members of society, children need support in developing and learning important and useful skills. Social skills Children develop into people who must live and work with others. For this they need to learn the rules of society. They need to be able to communicate their ideas and desires. They need to persuade and change minds. Career abilities To become functioning adults, children need to learn all kinds of things, both at school and outside -many abilities that are useful in developing careers are not taught at school. This can be very much an exploratory activity as children discover their talents and the things that motivate them (unsurprisingly, these often overlap). Internal skills Children also need to learn to be happy in themselves and to cope with the difficulties and traumas of life. They thus need to learn self-confidence and emotional maturity.

So what?
If you have or work with children, recognize both the needs that are common to all people and also the interpretation of those needs as well as special other needs.

Yalom's Ultimate Concerns


Irvin Yalom has described four 'ultimate concerns': Death, Isolation, Loss of freedom, and Meaningless. These reflect deep and fundamental needs.

Death
Death and taxes have been described as inevitable and although we may fear the latter in the short term, we have a deep, instinctive fear of death that only increases with age. This leads us to being risk-averse and safety conscious, taking large amounts of care to avoid harm of any kind, especially physical. This appear's in Freud's life and death drives where. perversely, we can be obsessively attracted to that which we fear most.

What we fear most about death is extinction, the extinguishing of our identity. We also fear our inability to control it, though we do try hard at this. Religions often offer help here, promising survival after death and control now over future heaven or hell alternatives.

Isolation
We have deep needs for belonging and, top cement this, the esteem of others. We join groups and take on their identity, trading independence for one-ness with others. Isolation may also remind us of our own vulnerabilities mortality. We each die alone, one at at time. With family and friends we can, in some way, live on. When we are isolated, we are also more vulnerable and any of the many choices we make might lead to hazard. Solitary confinement is severe punishment used in prisons and at home, where being 'sent to bed' or otherwise ignored is used to bring recalcitrant children and partners into line.

Freedom
Freedom and individual choice is another side of the isolation coin. When we are separated from others our sense of control is increased and we can choose and create our own meaning. We can select the safest path for ourselves, even though that may not necessarily the best for all others. We give up some freedom when we join groups to avoid isolation and death risks. Groups can also help give us meaning. The opposite of freedom is captivity, which is what we really fear here. To be ensnared is to lose control even in the power of life and death. Freedom has been a political ideal and force for centuries. Individuals and groups have cherished it and fought for it, paradoxically paying for it with their lives as this ideal is elevated above even death.

Meaninglessness
One of the ultimate challenges of life is to find meaning in it, and we struggle to give reason for our daily actions. Meaning gives us motivation, impelling us to act in ways that give sense to our identity and choices in lifre. Meaning sometimes is found on reflection as we explain what has happened. We hence spend much time pondering the past as well as projecting the meaning found there into future intent. Religion is a very common and powerful tool for creating meaning, although it often demands some freedom in return.

So what?
So use these. Offer meaning, threaten isolation, give freedom of choice and hint of extinction.

See also
Life and death drives, Maslow's Hierarchy Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books

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