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PITTSBURG, CALI FORUM*
INSTRUCTIONS
1.
rights is an important purpose of this book. Only properly kept records will assure The Dow Chemical Company of such protection. When starting a project or experiment, write in precise language your purpose and general plan of procedure. Record your work as you progress, giving sufficient details. Handwrite directly in the book. Do not make notes on loose paper to be copied later.
attach the insert along one edge only and use the page under it in the usual manner.
Names
the
of witnesses
who
work should be recorded. Also the names of people with whom the work was discussed or to whom samples were given for analysis or testing. The dates of these acts should be recorded. It is also most desirable to keep
a
of other papers relating to your work, analysis sheets, test request sheets, purchase orders, test results, etc., One or more scientifically trained witnesses should read and understand the pages covering each
file
e.g.,
2.
3.
The subject or title of the experiment and the book number should be accurately recorded at the top of each page. The date should be recorded at the beginning of each day's work. Note all absences such as trips,
vacation, illness, etc.
week's work and sign and date your book at least once a week. The witness form provided in the book every twenty pages also should be filled in. The witnesses must not be those who are co-discoverers with you of any of the work recorded.
4.
The various acts or experiments completing one or more projects may be recorded exactly chronologically, thus possibly mixing references to one subject with those to another, or space may be reserved for the complete recording of one experiment in one place over
several days, as you prefer. If the latter course is adopted, indicate at the start of the
New
new
concepts, new solutions to problems and ideas, plans or procedures and sketches should be recorded immediately in this book at the time they occur. When they are believed to be patentably important or when
next experiment how many pages were reserved for the one before it. Give a complete accurate account of what you did and what resulted. Enterallresultsgood or bad. Incase
of error
draw
words. Then continue with the correct wording. Copious descriptions with elaborate details are preferable. Do not use private abbreviations or Company nicknames without frequently denning what they mean. Always keep in mind the necessity of original data to prove any new discoveries. If any portion of a page of more than two lines is left blank when that page is finally completed, draw a diagonal line through the space and write your initials and the date on the line. If it is necessary to insert graphs, etc., in the book,
SCIENTIFIC BINDERY PRODUCTIONS
experiments show results of possible patentable importance, they should be disclosed to and understood by your co-workers. The best possible proof of your discovery is to have someone who is scientifically trained repeat the work and record it in his own book. Whenever possible, have one of your co-workers repeat your work and note this fact in your book. In particular, when an experiment shows results of possible patentable importance and especially when no witnesses were present, have someone else repeat the experiment as promptly as possible.
This notebook and
all
information recorded
therein are the exclusive property of the Company. All contents are strictly confi-
You must take every precaution to safeguard this book against loss or damage
dential.
by
fire,
water, etc.
CHICAGO
S. ILL.
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29 AugUSt 1962
JAY
Our log follows:
& myself tried the MMDA on Sunday, 26 of August. (cARM (taken by up to 11:30)
10:21* 100
mg orally
10:55 felt reaction, saw slight green tinge in shadows of faces. Pupillary dilitation CC. No dilitation for W. L., but he felt "layback."
11:05 Volluble, constant movement of hands & feet (as per usual for me) . L. experienced the "floats." 11:10
11:30 Departed for Marin country with U>V (originator of tjjr Y v^S-) Shopped in supermarket at about 0.8g.
1
12:30
Nj\ncy
(Magnificent
1:00
2:00
2:30
3:00 3:30
11:00
Slept well.
/W//Y
THE DOW
Observations
C-H-E-M-I-GA-fe
COM PAN ^y
BOOK NO.
"ethylene ,ioxy
on.
FsychoouuW
f foots
of Methoxy
Amphetamine
?vi^6\
11:20 a.m., Saturday, September
1,
1962
TC
5?
J
J
/
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U
little.
e
alone.
feet definitely
rarently
I
Although
didn't
^2 ^
j?P
black and
In.-.
Chartreuse and
First had visions
on pare 2)
1 1
tinued
i_j
T~irE"T>l
AL COMPffNT
BOOK 25
larere
numbers on
garni
brin ?
US
oetween the
Le
down ana su
3 t
be
he per s]
heat peac
just
comfortable
wt
on.
ful,
or
3D and a
a
more
enjoyin
.elds
rees
Commentary on
f
e:
had a
affed
iave SWO rn it
""
nta
7her
the re
ie
..
Then marv
chartreuse, blue,
trans
sphere
icn cascaded
9g<
down a gla
There
is
I
the wor]
time ago.
visions.
ck,
not necessarll
etely
oua lor.-or.
'i
an:
pre
itly
feel just
1
incoherent,
ee '
atoxic
^pletely
Here,
Ju
relaxed by
and
just
'
h111
'
'
'
Iwa
and visions.
The euphonic
state comes
,ts start we,
*els w
tne
"a
the
aals as
think
He-nt
i
** 3ub
a 1 i111e
aall.atio
causing the
!
of
c
cigarette%ppear to detach
when waved in
a
the
-tte
semi -Oar.
Just now
Loain- my eyes,
w
n
""!
-'liant
ie
wnite
back-round.
effulgent light
toWe
S
pervading every t
However,
he eyes,
.b
!lo "' J
the
brilliant
as the
warmth
usness pervaded me
'
recently expert
"pA^
iis
me"<
es
te
is
riru
Ld
sell
slaxan
it
i
Lant.
The
ulysts
shr
Tie
fact it proves to be as
conscious
rfhile
acious.
It ^eems
dreams
awak
1
real appear!'
nave never felt
scenes fill
It
in the movies.
rofoundly
ted
fin
-.'
-fl
J~wv^-
pfiJ *'
/-
\Ji
K_
MMDA
MINIATURE HIGH
J
UWe
**<*/
would describe
miniature.
i*ew "
rinsr a c
York
com~r^ng
attMl and
M
.
tLoa oilijno
MN!DA
is
VVDA
s tors
tiire-
i'he
immediate ^art
Is
than
there is
hour of the high. There is morn <?>a feeling of stur>pf act ion
than thre
In
a
is
rible fear,
ne i^iphti Vor-at
it
^l&f&.S'pdA.'s
minutes -- but
could se- each separate blade of grass gleaming Kbi and the
29
wavering fur.
*''
loom 5n tlmeles^nesa
nt. a r
was going to
rr ' T
: -
the Olympian
I
Universe.
WAS NOT
EPARiD FOR
OLYMPIAN \WA
1
--I
realized that
wanted to
i
a*
the others
swerved around
hair in oend
view o^ the silverbrown g^ass-fur and the vast unwar ted dearness
of the
?>w.
I
Suddenly
--
mean the
decided
th
then
of the whole high and control it. -ill in all. I tried perhaps -v- almost iJ., L fifteen or twenty mx*m*1mxxm unrecnllable -aori undescrioabl*
y
time
believed that
and
insides were eoing wild and my conscious mind s^em~d to be the only force ho ding me together. At one ooint
I
managed to ask
30
how the
-
'oaaj
b oo n
ro? a moment
that
hen my insides
'.
and mind
esus
I
{*&
trol,
g
.
ng of ?ur^n-s?
1
lucinog^r.s
b\it
don't think
my
the methods
that
an as'urflno"
1
ftinv
'
and felt
'
could
I
-n.loy somo
/
-
rf
h* day.
,
'
'
'
' '
f
th
,j
In ^r^stinsly
none of
'
accent
'
'
th^ fact
that
'
'
touched
{LvJ
.
^pf^os^am &&
-
^-ti>gcnOMt5
iii.-^>-
k r-d
ijc
the fr
saw
ovrwh^lm me.
\3
walked
smare
et
Captain
tiny stand of tr es
THt-DOW- C
i
end and
I
and realMies.^6%
the high. My companions closed -ye 3 and having brain my eyes movies, (^arlier sqoquu had b ^n forced shut many times oy
the -u'horlc hallucinogen
not wanting
in movies or visions.
I
ex-
perimentally
saw on] y
.s
and
-inp blackness.
I
We talked desu^.tor
I
3
real iz~-d
.
that
was
aMe
to
s- a
my corrnanions
it
I
.
Th p y were
sa>
talk
t
^.4
r^&bO
'
Vrft
^\s-\1\Lf*^0f
found
Iking too
ion
V.y
toe:
and r
~e.
I
Vh=n
icaret 4 s
Lnd
ray
they
'/<e
sand
then got
8
u*
and sat ir
nother Dlac.
of mescaline
sel
"silocy In vision in
living In
a
'
c a ri ry
to be
kind of hyner-lucidity of
sense -I
1
ant paradox.
Jtis d raising the
t
x he
through mv nody.
Dower, for
I
in raising the
into my head.
r^aliz^d, as
achieved
32
SUBJECT
-1
1
DATE
r
'
"3.
is
If
th
sculotor
bpn
to
"nd tic
the
dozeful feeling
/ w i th
I
it.
walked to
I
th*
narty
were sitting.
fct
this noint
a
realized
n joying
I
its*~t\)ll
ntness. Ordinarily
r he
x
next couc
of ho
rs became
pleasant and
^
beautiful nicnic.
^ime
***<*,
theday. Two
was kept from
Lat.p
-hat night
I
'
11
tie crocodiles
u*? reality,
rE
A w<v-k after
raking VWDk
I
I
and as
awakened
only nothingness.
yes instantaneo\isiy .
8helley says:
Lift not the painted veil which those who live
"T
Yesterday
tried
speake*idDlr^
R-^_
J&frt
that it is
a not uncorrron
anxiety
at
1s
'
s<=-
ms
f 'lTiA
and
er, What it d
-)<-
*hat
3
ri
ring as hit
T
C'a
the
intuitions that
I
am awa^'
of
two f^ lings:
th e
the 'material
'
is of
rnrsed
psychological nature in
ther c
is
mean
consciousness of sa urchins
the tugs of thir desires
arid
who ar=
an
actual conscious
th actual
1
b^injr of
e
their
It would
'.
inter es'ing if
o-p
Uncoaacious were
r
b^inp that
am not
sayir.ff
this to
strnah'n
mv argument
N'VD.i.
I
uhat
con-
think of it
now
tw
w^eks later.
-- But
I
hical-UniverseconcioMsness
t viese
ave
should
.
b<="
left untouched
<Ve
mess with
9&
slo'viv in an
investigatory
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stated as times from the first Observers' notes have been interwoven when appropriate.
0:00
Ingestion of 12. 5 mg (as hydrochloride) or 140 (j.g/Kg as the free base. (There had been no food consumed during the previous 12 hours. )
1:00
(TMA-2 has a very slight Ingestion of a second 12. 5 mg. alkaloid-like bitter taste - neither unpleasant nor lingering.)
1:20
light
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initial
nausea,
Teeth are chattering and Cholinergic effects moderately severe. Pulse 80. vibrate when rubbed together.
1:40
is
left.
LSD-25
intoxication,
the
symptoms
This phase receded except for the desire to vomit. Pulse unchanged. following 20 minutes.
2:00 to 3:15
During this hour, the complete syndrome, except for intense color There was effects, of severe mescaline intoxication developed. essentially no nausea, and the world was filled with distorted, moving things, all quite humorous. Peoples' faces were grossly distorted, and there was very little thought or worry of personal Muscular coordination quite good. Time passed slowly. safety. Conversation both coherent and clear.
3:
15
to 4:30
3: 15 the first indications of still further mental and A numbness of physical capitulation to the drug became evident. the fifth, and part of the fourth, finger of the left hand was frightening, and the recovery of this "asleepness" constituted a mechanism of preventing further inundation. Compulsive massage controlled this physical dissociation although asleepness of the
At about
56
BJECT
In knees, muscular and abdominal cramping also began to occur. cycles there would be periods of relative simplicity followed by periods pf nausea which could be relieved in part by attempted (but unsuccessful) vomiting.
Simultaneously with the physical cycling occurred a mental, intellectual From occulation that, fortunately, possessed a different period. the beginning of this hyper-mescaline stage (about 3:30), waves of The hallucinatory motion-of-realnear-unconsciousness occurred. Periodically, at the objects became unavoidable and overpowering. crests of cycles, an impression of fainting would occur, and it was felt certain that to lose the thread of return would mean never to recover mental integrity.
Fortunately times of mental and physical stresses did not correspond. A short visit to a dark room Subjective time was badly distorted. was unbearable due to the active and frightening hallucinations.
4:30 to 5:35
At about 4:30 a return to a recognizable "mescaline-intoxication' was the first believable indication that there would be an eventual A drive through the countryside proved to be extremely recovery. humorous and enjoyable, comparable to peak effect at about 500 mg mescaline.
5:50
Increasing periods Rapid recovery from the above effect. lucidity. Completely unable to eat anything.
7:00
of
Able
was
A mild stomach ache to drive a car without misadventure. Occasional touches of the only remaining physical symptom. unreality did still occur but were completely controllable.
12:00
No remaining
Conclusions
effects.
Appetite good.
Sleep normal.
This drug, TMA-2, has an apparent potency of 20 to 25 times mescaline, and of perhaps 10 times' that of its structural If more complete studies isomer, 3, 4, 5-trimethoxyamphetamine show no increased toxicity for TMA-2 (all amphetamines so far have been similar to one-another) the improved therapeutic index (x20) would warrant the consideration of this chemical as a substitute for mescaline in psychotherapy and in clinical uses.
that of
.
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may 31
eclipse day-1965
for
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may 30 V?\sh took MMDA loo mg while I had harmalinefl this report concerns ^iJX,' > mmda 'lifSfiitiTf" It seemed to take 45 minutes to work and then came on very suddenly and 'hit 'me almost like a blow on the head;as if my eyebjalls were being pulled out and my whole head expending; Soon a COLD feeling set in and shivvering;this was not unpleasant but was in marked contrast to the Ritalin which gave a warm feeling of activity and verbalization entirely different that this The cold was as if I was in carbonated water(tis occurred as I was having the vision of a carbanated pool of water or nearly at the same time in retrospect) there was no anxiety ;then the lite seemed to dim in the room-this a retinal phen&m or having to do with the eclipse? in the pacific at about 3 pm; My state in about 2 hrs seemed to be one of empathy and passivity ,compassion of an impersonal sort;the music sounded artificial and canned and tinny in contrast to the voices which sounded rich full and finely precisely articulated and melodious Also I had the impression there was a lotof stuff in my head I was not talking
about; Later when left alone the hallucinations occurred ;as clear as any I have had on ot> p hallucinogens ; ( c ) these were not kaleido scopic or assembly line or oriental patterns ,but life like with vast open spaces(typical of her paintings and essence person patterns )with people moving slowly and liesurly much realism; I could conjure up monsters when asked but these had an artificial quality-they were eating something; other visions of much food preparation and skinning and prepareing of annimal skind. drying scraping etc;many wild flowers and WIND- streams which were already part of the ocean;I regertted its wearing off;it did so very slowly;I was in a paradise concerned with externals and conforming to the structure we had set up and perfectly satisfied to be all available and all out there with youjthe internal ness?not things and hallucin later were interesting but the real^vi ness and n nearness i think of reality was very gratifying ;a similar outerness with ritalin but it was more warm and dramatic nat so etherial; no profound philos thoughts but direct sensations which started with physical then emotional;no thoughts or judgements of people or things ;no facial distortions(she gets visaal and auditory hallucin-sounds of water running, creating 'music' of squeeks etc) POSSIBLE USES good for one with a lot of anxiety which shuts him off from experience ;those who are full of "I like, or "I dont like" they are so preoccupied that they dont see the things out there that are really going on, but project and shut off etc. I had a detached feeling while the ritalin seemed more personal and closely empathetic;sort of chummy and talky and pink tissue, /mmda was more like clear mountain air
with lsd my thoughts go sircularly,i get cought up in flippant philos ideation brain storms almost a mental masturbation
andwers to my questions that(with ritalin) the images was so preoccupied by Ko^ thev caused in my mind caused me to be almost physically removed;feel this way see^d "to 'work' to overcome the passivity this dmmda induced Kft"Z_
I
Reoort of
JAY
on /mmda
6/2/65
**?>.
a.
//
found this drug not at all like any other ;in the first place there were no
appreciable distortions
was fully aware in present time especially during the forst few hours
fourth; despite the seeming short action of the substance there is a time disorientation
which lasts over six hours which undermines ones judgement in driving a car;so at least 12
hours should elapse before drining is undertaken;
in use of 02-C02 to potentiate the action of the drug there was a most remarkable effect
As though a floor of some sort was dropped frmm beneath me and yet
I
and with this floor dropped a general feeling of anxiety of a free floatiDg type
which has been plagueing me for several months; later on a half hour or so later ;when
was i
explor^nig
and then it dropped away for good;I was completely without tention or pressure
of any sort;I expect that the effects are similar to that of a tranquilizer or an
ophiate( although
change as a result;
J.IMDA
co2 and o2 used to set it off J'AY I felt as if a floor of some sorb dropped from beneath me and yet I was still supported ;v/ith this flood dropped a sens of free floating anxiety v/hich had been plagueing me for several months
30 min later when I was exploreing the area newly empty of nnxiety I felt it again for a few minutes and then it dropped away for good aid I was completely without tension or pressure of a ny sort; like being tranquillized or morphine
6/2/65 this drug was like none I have ever taken; no hallucin noted and no distortions of what I looked at (I aggree with the lack of distortion of outer objects or faces) second; the mind was quiet no words explanations comments theories or ration! thoughts fully aware in the present tim especially in the first 3 hours there is a time distortion ;6 hours' later WHICH UNDERMINES ONES 'JUDGEMENT IN DRIVING i misjudged the traffic, lites duration etc
...
12:50 to give self res and to cut off the trash and 'worry' so as to enter the semi dream state where you are protected; not as noisy(many) dreams ?as in live? or more? music or sea as a structured backdrop against which to go in bold kneeded wrestler geni probably on waves Like LSD nook Darred woman bitter crab and people fabuluous kiss sits up m a n upside doun facD; million fingered dance of the sea; green apple crunch I hallucnnate lists hungarian rapsody aid then waltzes then see at 1:30 my mother as above. others Remarks: this substance seems to have a much genteler action than little like Cannahis or psylocybine; there is of this class jperhaps more paranoia reported by anyone ii^w rotia which were strictly ^fi I noted the hallucinations of two types :one, those lite and evoked by foe* retinal and more minute and small and Influenced by the other those deeper using' on the 'lite' ahead on the retina or lids, and more global dream like in the visual tract end occiput which are larger and end when solid are quite dramatic and unforgettable as in meditation. There is less adrenergic or alerting effect per hallucinatory unit of this drug as well ;
1965
Since in my walwus type floundering about since then, l*ve managed to lose all notes made at the time, I'll try to do it by recall and then will undoubtedly find
them.
Drug produced light nausea and slight dizziness within about kS minutes and For awhile felt like mild dose shortly after began to feel "psychedelic" effect. LSD with slight disorientation and visual imagry at closing eyes. Imagry wasn't the vivid, shapp-colors type however, but like a kalaidescope filled with pastel colored smoke. Reminded me of a gadget seen in New York museum of modern art in which con= stantly changing swirling colors were projected on a screeen. Every now and then across this field floated an unidentifiable black shape/blob. Overall general effect sort of like Rorschach ink blots.
Within an hour felt my mind snap into advanced gear and attention focus like lasar beam. Felt KNEW what was about and was thinking with unusual confidence and clarity. Total focus on altho my response to him was less involved fsiL emotionally than it usually is in sessions. Was unable to cry for him or for self yet felt no hostility towards him or fear--just intellectual sort of endeavor and desire to do something effectual and positive. Was unable to account for some of his behavior and was very curious as to what diagnostic lables it would earn. Had an excess of energy and large overest imat ion of own strength-felt fully confident that could hold down my Ifialf of Ncli- with no trouble until recalled that this wouldn't be my normal realistic appraisal and then began to force a bit more caution. Could la feel my own emotional state being blocked as almost with a physical barrier - knew there was great upset underneath and that it would leak out as drug wore off but was
I
unable to feel
it
totally.
Time sense was slowed-kept looking at my watch and thinking more time must h< 'e passed than actually had, but wasn't disturbed by this. WhenfOGiu began walking a <und bacame restless - began wondering, wanting information and expounding his revelations could focus entirely on realized that ai long as there was active action activity. outside and was find, but when things slowed down feelings of self coming back were was stuck back with me and pain over JA\ Tried to turn it to distressing and interest in and learning about Niu and about the total situation buc kept wavering in attention between him and myself. B? By about 2 pm was ready to start on ME<u again, took it as sort He was unable and trying to get him to come down and sort of cut off. of a challenge. Q.u seemed unwilling to direct Hiim strongly and finally played on his need to "help" me by giving me an hour with vSlVe Put on the saddest music It worked. could in order to dredge up hurt over JAY and whatever it represents but altho tears were tjjere, it was all dampened and toned down. Knew was very upset but that knowledge was more upsetting than the upset knew was there.
I
I I I I ! I
Went out to the pool when $oltf 6 R and PSC-rC'l came MlSlu was all shaken, pains in chest, unable to breath, felt nausea and choking sensations. Was marching up and down, back and forth like ward patient in a yard. Was disturbed by this and went to tune the guitar on the piano wi th C-jt-Mfy Felt }Zbeing annoyed by me in house and by my playing wi th^tAPfS and knew I'd have felt hurt if it weren't for dampener of drug. (JcADY/S tuned the guitar and went out to see what found myself ablfc to We talked awhile and could do with w|L play that guitar like never before - was elated and entranced with my own music and new abi could work withNfSlL. and play along at the same time, found ty. .especial ly since using it for sort of background and emphasis and attention changer. Talked to H^ about felt him as a pains in chest - had him try Gestalt exercises but he was too far out. 'd like to be able to fix it, but not little boy asking mama to fix it and felt like couldn't do so. inddequate because
:
.
c*J0GJ
was happy to CtU^o^S came down, wanting attention and to sing and play the guitar. tore out and jerked him away like a shot/ see him and we began to sing a song but (5>"Zunderstood how she felt and her worry about his contamination, but felt resentful at being considered a contaminating agent so decided it must be pA-JL she was worried about and rationalized it that way.
I
I
Spent time talking tofgtftfV about her feelings since separation f rom $ufciriR. and watching her way with her child. All along was playing one song after another and my attention was sort of spl t ?&6rf ;ame on strong about dislike forSuWSR. but didn't realize she was saying it and by way of attonment m immediately began telling me a' ut how neurotically she operates - but n t*F s terms and sounding like a parrot. tried to be subtte and gently get her to see what she'd done, but it somehow didn't seem improtant So ?no\compared to fAo'U wandering around painfully and looking at me like a sick puppy. talked about the things that made him nauseous and he went and leaned over the fence w and a few things but explained that while these things would have upset him six months ago, they don't any more. Things such as "penis" and "breast" and "hand" and "hang". gegan trying to play Tom Dooley and noticed ,1 wonder if his mother hanged herself} Down in 'AcfU swallowing hard when got to "rnis time tomorrow weckon where l"ll be. Also on "Poor boy you're bound to die" a lonesome canyon, hanging from a white oak tree" was hep to and quit immediately. Began to worry that there was more going on than
i
'
Felt warm even toward S^EPS.^. - allowed him to play big ^wes^K- came and ^&a\ left. He showed me things on the brother thing with me wh.ich is his wewest button to push. Not ced VA^u- watching me 4jave it to him and began playing with J"AV guitar and Felt some sort of viwith tears in his eyes - he kept looking away. play withiX/vV brations emanating f rom r"A JL- - like he was silently begging, pleading, entreating me He could produce that would provide it. Didn't know exactly what for something. He did, showed it told him to pick a peach instead. was hungry and wanted a pear So to me like a little kid and ate it like one, leaving most of it all over his face. on^vitf^'s lap and began singing nursury rhymes. Pawl_ came and finally sat put ^AV didn t know what to make of it down but with that damn shit eating grin on his face.
I
so d idn
'
Lost Full of energy and coordination. Physical effect of drug most outstanding. did manage to whack my shin on the water pipe and trip fumbling, clumsey feeling altho Knew this was the same stuff j>V had in a hole twice. But that's par for any course. It was and kept wondering why wasn^t getting the same euphoric, limp happy eeaction. effects of a physical and psychic energizer for me but without the emotion emphasizing dexadrine. Went home and to sleep with 3 pills finally at 2 am. Kept self curling in sleeping bag womb all next day and night and didn't want to come,, to face the world on It isn't a nice world these aela days and it deteriorates steadily. Tuesday.
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190 ttsgfto ng an experienced person ir he an f drugs: conplete neurological done 1 hr prior to testnig pletely negc-.:.re for was nysta mus-he fu ol nys in extremes of lateral gazelt hra after t -js drug he ^owt the a nount ar kiioe of the neurol te of 10 dlJ
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