Auto story of my life.

At eleven my Grandmother died in my bedroom, she loved the sun and napped in
my bed in the afternoons. Our home at Granville had three tennis courts out the
back with a clubhouse and a cool tree to climb. I loved animals, so I had pigeons,
all fun breeds and two rabbits and the family dog. I let all my fantails go that
afternoon and my feather feet pigeons.

This was the only death I have experienced to date.

Grandma started Freny house for boys, being a single mum with seven children
in the 1800’s was a task to say the least.
A devoted catholic and a widow made her a special breed of saint. I miss her
buttered bread on finger toast.

I was a loner at school, as my communication skills were very poor and I

immersed myself in a more devotional life of fantasy and dreams of grandeur. I
imagined the world a perfect paradise and me a traveler through it with God as
my constant protector and me as His pet. Silly I know, and very immature but I
was a kid and church on Sunday was a mystery to me, a door way to a great
being who love me, this was the faith I had as long as I can remember.
So I did not quite fit the mold of the average citizen. Though when I was
thirteen I did sense a growing appetite for the opposite sex.

My first girlfriend I kissed was Joanne H. She lived across the road in a nice
home, and later in years I found out she became a dancer for the Australian
ballet, she was beautiful. I remember we went into a cave at Cronullah point and
played all sorts of games, our secrete place. I can still feel the way she sat above
me on our lounge chair and ran her fingers through my hair.
Our family lived in Cronullah, two houses from the beach between Shelley
beach and Guttamata Bay. It was a huge home with us seven kids in it. Dad was
a Pawnbroker in Sydney and started a successful auction company combined
auctions that is now worth a fortune, he gave it away to the 40 pawnbrokers in
Sydney many years later.

I went to Caring bah De La Sel, school for catholic boys. I remember Brother
Dunstan the principal of that tough school and how he gave me therapy one day,
and lashed my hands so badly that the blisters were severe enough to take me to
the emergency ward. I would have seemed like a dreamer at school as though not
paying attention, but if they only knew how much I loved their education, all my
life I have been studying, and even today I do pet subjects on Anatomy and
Philology. I love to feed my mind with healthy knowledge. Dad gave Brother
Dunstan a tongue lashing that day; this did not help as they saw me as a problem
not a blessing.

I was still a bit odd at school and a bit of a pretty boy, so I got picked for a fight
one afternoon (jealousy rages in the heart of the beast) and of course the kids all
gathered around me, and a kid my size went to it, he gave up as he did not want
to fight, just like me but the people had spoken, then a big Koori kid came in and
took a few punches. I was a fit kid and had won a few tennis tournaments that
year, so I ran around and laid a few right on his face He gave up and I felt pretty
good, though tired.
Then in a flash a young punk ran in and punched the crap out of me, I was down
and out as the teachers broke it up. More lashes with the strap.

Dad owned Liverpool loan office and two other shops so we always had money,
as grandma taught him well. By the way he is a successful tennis coach who
produced a Wimbledon champion and being 75 now, still runs laps of the oval
and coaches tennis three days a week God bless his heart. He and Mum have not
missed a Sunday of Mass for as long as I remember. Each to there own, I always
say.

Dad always treated me good for some reason and I was a bit spoilt, I think. With
three sisters and three brothers all one year apart, we had a type of Brady bunch
life style. All my sisters were beautiful, and as a family we pretty much stuck to
ourselves.

My first rebellion of the system was at thirteen, when I had a friend who showed
me the way to sneak out and play pool at all hours of the night, I got pretty good
at it and made a name for myself as the kid to beat, the owner who looked like
Kat Stephens, used to bet on me against older players and make some cash on the
side.
I got in trouble and caused a drama one night when I sneaked out.
I took Mums car and broke the axle, but the drama happened the next day when
the police came around and said I was at a party where a young girl died of
drugs. I was framed but Dad thought I had something to do with it, because he
caught me sneaking out a week before and my brother told on me that day, when
I broke Mums car. So the circumstances seemed to point to me being at the party.

Then on my thirteenth birthday, Dad made a big party for me, and it being a
Saturday night there was a band playing at the park, so naughty me walked off
and missed my own party.
Dad and Mum decided to move from corrupt Sydney, so we all packed up and
moved to the Gold Coast. Terranora, a ten-acre property, and wow it was fun.
Thirty-five years ago the gold coast was a playground.

Being now fourteen, I saw the hippy movement explode throughout the Gold
Coast, and I loved there cool peace loving life style, I like many others of that era
imagined this lifestyle to be the answer to our future society, although Drugs
were the key to this type of life style, it made it a remedy for failure. Now I know
that the lifestyle of communal living is nothing new as Jesus advocated it in the
early church, now I know it works perfectly if Jesus is the focal point and not the
false spirit of drugs. At fourteen and with no knowledge of Christ it did not
matter to me as I was determined to be happy and reach my fantasy of heaven on
earth.

Tweed Heads High School was a bit of a blur to me as I was overcome with the
drugs of the 70’s and psychedelic mushrooms, and fun. Dad bought me a
quarter Arab horse, a white mare, Lady. She was so frisky, my mate next door
had a cattle property, Geoff G. he and I rode allot, as he was more experienced in
horses, a true bronco and practical joker.
Geoff’s horse Shannon, an Appaloosa, was well trained. We always swapped
horses when we went riding, looking for mushrooms and good times.

All this time I did not seem to handle women very well. As a matter of fact the
neighbor up the road, a real cutie, had a horse; I used to swap with her as she
was in the pony club. We spent many hours lying around a dam, like my horse
lady, all women were wild to me.
Some how I got through to year ten, with the help of psychedelic drugs I think?
By this time I had a girlfriend Tessa Townsend for nearly two years with no sex
relationship. She was a hot surfer chick, her brother Peter Townsend became a
world-class surfer, and is still famous I think? I loved the romance and the
companionship but she wanted more. Naturally.

I became under sixteen swimming champion of my school, (big deal) I could

swim thirty-two laps of the Olympic pool and seemed to love the water. I had a
lot of energy. All this was good but my mind was focused on the fact that there
had to be something better, my eyes were opened and only Jesus could now
satisfy me. The drama begins in search of “The Almighty”.

One day Geoff and I went riding, I took Shannon and he raged with wild Lady,
we collected about forty gold top mushrooms and Tessa came around for a
Saturday night of fun. We made a soup as there was so many this time and we
had half a bowl each. Geoff and me were so used to the psilocybin drug by now
we were permanently stoned, Tessa in her madness wanted to try them too so we
gave her two spoonfuls, thinking that half a bowl hardly even effected both of us.
Wow, were we wrong. Tessa ran all over the paddocks saying she saw God and
after twenty minuets of that, she collapsed in our car, we panicked as she was
overdosing.
We snapped out of it and started to slap her to keep her awake and poured coffee
down her throat to keep her awake. Six hours later she snapped out of it and
Geoff and I from that day stayed away from the magic mushroom.

Tessa found a new life and a new guy, in one night she got what she wanted. So
much for love.

I immersed myself in the drug life and being sixteen and a long blond hair surfer,
my life was hectic! The drug scene was the focal point of my life and being a
loner this in it self had its fair share of troubles, I would go to all sorts of dingy
homes and freaky places and sit around and have cones, back in the 70’s the drug
marijuana was everywhere, I could drop into any number of flats and places and
always catch a session. The next day it would start all over again.

Dad bought a house in Tweed Heads and my sister, cousin and I lived in it this
became just another drug den. My sister Vona, now there is a character; she is
now married to a construction manager who builds hi-rise buildings, a very
prestigious job. She still looks great at 45.
But in the 70’s she was the hottest girl in town and attracted so many of the big
drug dealers that compacted with the house we lived in (that I painted with 20
different colors and had beads as doors) Vona became their instrument to take
over Tweed heads.

I was a distraction to them and they gave Vona some heroin to give me to hook
me into their world so they could control it. They even went so far as to make out
that they were going to kill me if I did not become one of them. This brings me
to the point I must discuss about my drug life: because of my spirit and my belief
and possibly future destiny with Jesus my Lord, I did not fit into the drug world.
I became more alone and would sit for hours alone not speaking a word
sometimes days at a time, just observing the spirits and personalities of people. It
was like watching a television show of characters, only they were not very
pleasant and most of the time they were just plain evil. So I recluse even more, so
when these drug heads threatened my life, I took this threat very seriously, and
as I said being a loner in drugs just do not work.

I smoked it and I must say it was a beautiful drug. My mind cleared up and I did
not notice all the chatter of personalities that seemed to clutter up my entire life,
I ignored people, and felt content. I knew deep down this feeling would not last
but like the drug would wear off and I would end up in the same loop with
personalities crowding out my life and my self esteem sinking lower as I could
never catch up to their fast and furious life’s. So that night I had to make a
decision for life, to become a drug addict or not!

I cried out to God inside of me, the only help I could imagine and I saw a vision
of the Devil and his life of luxury he offered me, everything. He owned it all he
told me and it was in his power to give me the desires of my heart. Somehow I
knew this to be true, he was not lying. I saw it all in a moment of time, a book
was opened all I had to do was sign. X. The signature had to be physically done
by a homosexual act to prove my acceptance of his contract. This was my X
factor and still is today!

My instincts took over and I cried out to God for help and I saw A HAND reach
down out of the ceiling it offered me nothing, but such love came from that hand
like something I have searched for all my life, that this whole world and
everything in it seemed to vanish into oblivion, and I reached up and tried to take
it. That’s all I remember no more, to this day 35 years later I have seen nothing
since, but believe even more in my King.
I believe I was born again that day as I received Jesus my eternal King and
savior. Some time at the age of sixteen. All glory to Jesus.

Well it may have been the drugs and it may have been my faith but my life took a
360° turn. I was talking about God to all my friends and witnessing all over the
place. I had traded Drugs for the most high.
I had known nothing of born again Christians and faiths like that and felt like I
was the most blessed person in the world, spared by the mercy of Jesus himself.
Like I was the blessed son of God saved from the fire, unique.

Being a catholic I was so ignorant of the word that when I got my hands on a
bible it blew my mind, literally. I had found the most high and this only
accelerated my zeal to tell everyone about my Jesus and how awesome he is.
Although my father was a good man he could not see the miraculous change that
had taken place in my life and his answer to my situation was to get me into a
clinic to come down off drugs and get me into a steady job. Yes now I see that at
the time this would seem like the right thing to do (Phically) but to me who had
just escaped death and found that Jesus was real and the bible not just a poet
book, the idea of slotting into a normal existence in the era of flower power and
the 70’s was just not right.

So after a month in Lismore clinic and bad drugs (remember in the 70’s drug
rehab was in its infancy and a lot was experimentation) I spat the dummy and
their bad downer drugs, and threw them down the toilet.
I decided to trust the only source I knew that could save me, and that was the
Word. I had never been a study person before, so this new world of reading
became an obsession to me, it was fabulous. My mind was becoming free from
the oppressive demons of other peoples thoughts and their uninspiring actions. I
read my first book that year Don Quixote the Man of La Macho by an author
Cervantes. Later in life I realized how a person in prison could write such
beauty.
At the clinic I witnessed to everyone I could and met some beautiful people there,
also some true nuts too. Ha. No brother, I am laughing with you not at you. I met
a friend two years later on the streets of Sydney that went through with their
shock treatment program in Lismore clinic, he was very much like me all excited
about the concept that drugs had shown him a world bigger than the planet we
live on and how our minds and spirits are so beautiful, I loved him he was so very
precious.
I could not believe it was the same human, his brother had to lead him along like
a dog he could not even recognize me.
My heart broke and at the same time I was so thankful that I trusted my God
instead of their bad treatment and drugs.
His brother told me after he received the shock treatment, he had been like this. I
was due for that therapy the next day!

Thank you Jesus for your protection. Saved again.

Also my father tried to slot me into three apprenticeships but after two weeks at
accountancy, plumbing, electrician, he gave up, God bless him.
Oh! I also spent a while at Murwillumbah TAFE doing a builder’s course. Funny
that, as right now I am doing the same course 35 years later. So I can do drawing
plans to sell my property.

I had a little car and turned the back seat into a confessional box where I used to
hear people’s problems and I would sincerely pray for them, to know the Jesus I
began to know and love.

Being a male I loved some women too, one of whom was Kerry who I knew from
school, I was not in love with her and she was not in love with me, and so I went
along on my life.

This became an issue eight years later when I came back from India, as
subsequently she said I was the father to her baby, now according to my father
she tried to say the child was mine and Kerry took Dad to court and lost. Kerry
adopted the boy out and Dad thought it best not to tell me about it. Until I
somehow mentioned something to him years later and Mum slipped it out.
He would be 34 now and I met Kerry two years ago at the Melbourne cup on the
gold coast, and I talked to her sincerely and she definitely said he was my son.
Don’t ask me why but I will not see him till I get to the Kingdom, end of that
story.
My witnessing went on in Tweed heads for five months and the people got sick of
me so I began to branch out to other parts of the Gold Coast and one day I met a
guy in Mermaid Beach who I started witnessing to (if you would call it
witnessing). He was a surfer-looking guy who had come out of drugs and believed
in Jesus to. OMG my world had just hit a new level as I discovered that day that
Jesus had saved other people out of drugs. Till that date I was going to churches
and trying to be normal, those poor church people I can imagine how
uncomfortable they must have felt with me beaming so brightly in their pews.
Weeping and so on.

They had Bibles and showed me how to be born again and to be baptized which I
did that Sunday at a Pentecostal church, the first time I ever steeped into a born
again church.
I saw hundreds of people who loved Jesus and all of them were so happy. I
thought this was my answer to paradise on Earth, so I then went to people I had
witnesses to that week and told them about this great church I found.
I bought a young street girl, a pure sheep that wanted to find out about Jesus, to
that church the following week.

What a shattering experience that was, I drove up in my little confessional car

with the girl I brought and the pastor of the church who baptized me the
following week came to my car saw the young hippy type girl and cursed her to
the ground, he said she was going to hell and I cant remember it all but she broke
down in the car park crying so pitifully.

I became enraged a fire burned inside of me at that heartless man, and from that
day I stayed away from Church people. I minded my own business and
witnessed to people preaching the Jesus I grew to know and love. A Christ that
loved all people even sinners like me.

After three months of telling people daily about Jesus, I picked up two
hitchhikers, Manassas and Zion! By this time I realized I was not the only
person saved out of drugs, as I meet all sorts of Christians in my witnessing.
So when they told me they loved My Jesus I felt a joy inside, but unlike the
Church Christians they were dressed like hippies and had a guitar and were
witnessing just like me. They told me of their journey to Lismore and how they
distributed 500 pamphlets about Jesus and won so many souls to His kingdom.
You could imagine my mind went a racing and I wanted to know all about their
life and everything.

Manassas told me they lived together communally and devoted their lives 100%
to Jesus as disciples. WOW, these people sounded like the people I was reading
about in the bible, I was so fond of reading. So I went that night to their meeting
thinking it was some kind of formal church. I was desperate for fellowship and
still am I will only be satisfied when I finally pass from this shell into my best
friend arms. My Husband and God.
Double shock, they were people just like me, we all sat around in a circle played
music on guitars and read the word together and prayed together and lived
together. At the end of the fellowship Peter Fish turned to me and looked me
right in the eye and said forsake your life and follow Jesus. He then slammed a
cupboard door that was ajar that I was staring into and gave me a look, I will not
soon forget.

The Holy Spirit convicted me that week as I gather all my stuff together and my
new motorbike and went to the main home in Brisbane to forsake all to follow
Jesus, and serve Him with the Children of God. (COG)

For four years I learned of the COG and their leader Mosses David the prophet.
I traveled a lot and hardly stayed in a town more than 1 month. Distributing
COG literature called MO letters. They were the foundation for the movement to
grow, and become a Christian force, his teachings were widely known and the
message simple and pure, forsake all and follow Jesus and to hell with the devil
and his system.

We were an army ready to die for Jesus and Moses David the leader kept our fire
burning with letters after letters that we as a body ate up with zeal. This alone
caused a lot of problems with the society of the day as they saw our blind faith, as
a bit of a threat to the ordered system, and at the time there were cults around
like Jim Jones of Jones town and Manson and the Krishna’s and the orange
people. Oh yes lots and lots of nuts on a Hugh tree. Not to forget the hippy
movement and the flower power people. So the established order of the day had a
job to tone down all these rising freedom fighters for love and peace and lets face
it when it comes to sheep following a path of happiness and spiritual enlighten,
Satan and his crew will sure have a thing to do about it and create his own
version of the enlightened truth his way. He is the great imitator.

I loved the work to the max; I was 100% at home with the revolutionary way the
COG proclaimed the gospel. The discipline and the devotion to our leader and
each other it seemed like I was living a chapter of the book of acts in the bible,
with all sorts of little miracles of supply and praise and worship and of course the
fellowship I was starving for.

One thing that the COG taught me through the word was the fact that once
saved always saved, and no matter what I did I would eventually go to the
Kingdom.
If I did not make it there: than Jesus failed and salvation was by my works and I
may as well eat drink and be merry as we are all doomed to die in our own sins,
see my eyes were opened and still are brother. You and I on this Earth are putrid
sinners in Jesus eyes, if you don’t see that you are blinder than I can imagine, for
this is the first principle of eternity. We are damned without Jesus, no matter
how holy we pretend to be.
This fundamental doctrine became the cornerstone for my life, and with this
truth I went headlong into any situation expecting to come out the other end of
the tunnel unscathed, saved. I was immortal always able to enter the presence of
the Father and thereby be cleansed and helped. This I have proved without a
shadow of a doubt all through my life, even if I ascend up to the riches of heaven
He is there to guide and love me, and if I made my bed in the very bowels of hell
itself He was there to love and correct me. Every sin became a learning curb and
every failure a bend in the road; death itself could not stop me.

This was my life now and I dove into it head first, I began to memorize
Scriptures like the end of the world was coming, and yes that was a favorite
doctrine of the COG, but it served it’s purpose. I studied the bible at every spare
minuit I had, on buses while going out pampheting, on the toilet, everywhere and
anywhere. To waste three minuets without having a verse flow through my mind
was a terrible sin to me, and a crime against Jesus.
I could at the end of four years recite eight hours of verses and chapters and Mo
letters off by heart. What a way to spend a day. Today I can hardly remember
much a few chapters and so on, I must say that the Lord directed me that way
then and I am thankful, but I should not have been so intense, maybe I would
still be in a Christian church if I slowed down a bit and began to smell the roses a
bit, I would memories chapters on it and study it profusely but do you think I
could just go out there and do it?

Yes I memorized three complete MO letters two pages each one, and over fifteen
chapters and psalms and twenty sets of bible verses in sets of ten to fifteen.
This combined, with the five to eight hours of bible study I did each day. I
became living word recourse, and I loved it, this became my comfort my drug.

By this time the COG members had become more and more sexual and me less
and less. They learn to smell the roses; I think I destroyed that sense with the
bad drugs I took when I was thirteen. Oh Jesus. I went to India in 1974 there we
had a ministry of feeding the drug addicts that found themselves in a Deli jail,
westerners just couldn’t cope in these situations so we would bring them fruit
and encourage them and pray with them. I got sick (typhoid) there, and after
three months of witnessing I gave up (sorry Jesus). I became miserable, as I
couldn’t get into the family of the COG and they tried so hard to help me to
smell the roses, they even left me alone one weekend with a gorgeous sister to
help me overcome my problem with shyness, but nothing. I spent it in reading
and prayer with her. I was a dud, I missed that boat! The Australian Embassy
flew me home I stayed with Mum and Dad till I got well and Dad got me into a
business, to settle me down. I was depressed with the fact that the people I loved
so much did not want me in their homes.

I started a furniture factory, we made outdoor pine settings for Vados furniture
in Lismore, and I also opened a shop front, in my Dad’s fruit shop as a display
for my furniture.

It was all so boring compared to witnessing that I could not put my heart into
it, so I built a boat on the side in our Terranora home beside the tennis court. It
was 30’ x 15’ it looked like Noah ark. Made of hard wood and second hand
timber flooring, with two coats of fiberglass.
Nine months later and $8,000 in cash the boat was ready to launch. By this time I
had started another business in town called Huddo’s Cafe, selling hamburgers
and hot food.

The furniture dwindled away and the houseboat with two bedrooms was ready to
be craned onto the low loader.
Hannah and Edmund lifted the ship with straps and broke the fiberglass. It
sunk, and two months later I demolished it down the Tweed River, just another
shattered dream. This I have had all my life and am used to them now, my dream
now is to be in my Jesus arms and that can’t be shattered, only archived no
matter what.

I married the girl who worked for me at Huddo’s cafe. Dianne W.

She was a good girl and for the first time in my life I had a real relationship and
a love life. After preaching all about love and the kingdom I was finally ready to
create my own paradise on earth at 22 years of age.

We worked hard in our cafe and Dianne’s little sister Roslyn, worked with us on
weekends to help out.
Dianne and I were happy together, but I was still lustful in my life, so it got a
little uncomfortable sometimes.

Ten years went by in our marriage .

We bought a ten-acer property in Gatton three hours from Tweed and traveled to
work back and forward trying to manage a shop and build a dream.

The sleeping over at our parent’s places and traveling to Gatton every three days
got too much for us so we built a temporary shed on the property there and
moved in.

I worked for the local builder there Ron, He married a Metcalfe and they were
the heads of that town so he liked me as he felt like a visitor too, see 30 years ago
if you were not born in a small country town you were a import.
We built five homes and I worked on the Metcalfe potato and small crop farm
during the times the houses were slow.

I built a besser block three-bedroom home on our property and I manicured the
hobby farm so beautifully.
All was paradise, I joined the local Judo club and the instructor enjoyed
throwing me around and I like the challenge too.
Dianne worked on a flower farm part time down the road and we were fairly
financial at this stage.
Rebecca was born and David was just turning two, the W. were proud
grandparents, so the future looked very inspiring in so many ways.

Until, I was out the shed one day, the shed had a toilet in it as we lived in it before
I built our home, so I would spend a lot of time in the shed and outdoors. My day
comprised of milking the cow feeding the chooks and pigs, moving the three
potty calves to a day paddocks and let the four goats mow the front paddock.
Then I would go to work, I consumed my days in work and never gave a thought
to Jesus and the Kingdom, and I was a true backslider in the sense of the word.

There in the shed I had three MO books I read one of the letters, now I had not
touched the word or letters for ten years now and Dianne knew about my past
Christian life but she being a catholic didn’t see the need to involve God in our
almost perfect lives. I felt the same until I noticed how perfect my life was and I
had neglected to invite Jesus into it. I felt greedy and ashamed.
I saw my life and it was good, stress free and I would lie around the damn some
days and just enjoy my children and the good life.
I felt bad and wanted to put something back into the world that had blessed me
so much, so I did what I knew to be the only way to bless the world.

I asked my wife Dianne to let me go out the back (2000 hectares of cattle forest)
for a few weeks to fast and pray to find guidance in our lives, to me this seemed
normal and the way to go.
She did not take this gesture as an attempt to become a better person and put
something back into our world but she took it as a threat, to disrupt our ideal
existence and told me so. She went to the extent to say that if I went to pray she
would take the kids away and leave me, I see now she saw a radical turning point
in my life, she saw better than I could. If only she could have trusted Jesus or
even Jesus in Me.

I did not believe her and thought she was being a foolish woman, so the next day
I went for a walk out the back forest as I did sometimes and when I got back she
had left to go to her parents place in Kingscliff.
I was devastated and begged her to come home with the kids and we could work
it out. I believed in till death do us part, like my parents who have celebrated
over 50 years of marriage. I knew every mountain was only a molehill when time
gets a hold of it and I could not understand how she could not see as I did.

I made a list of all the things I wanted and told her to write a list on the other
side of the page of all the things she wanted.
She came back to Gatton one day and I got the list for her. On my list was
witnessing among other things and we sat together in the car as she did not want
to come in the house, I did not think this strange at the time.
I begged her to make an agreement the only thing I asked is that I could witness
again, she said no, and left.

She waited for me to leave for the Gold Coast that day and Dianne and her father
emptied the whole house, she had come up with a furniture truck and was not
interested in any negotiating but had come up to get the stuff and go.
I came back to an empty home not even a toilet roll.

This was my first wife and I have not spoken to her for eighteen years she cut me
off in her life. Two weeks later she asked to see me again and I met her at my
Dad’s home she had a solicitor there and I signed the custody papers and house
and car over to her, her parents gave her $5000. To give to me to piss me off, they
were such good church going people. They helped her to take everything, even
my children, and the door was shut. I called around to see the kids a few times;
she had moved into a house with a gay woman and was living a bizarre life
style. After a few visits she told me at the door one day that she did not want me
to see her children anymore, that I was too unstable for them. I had given her the
property and of course I was a vagabond. I agreed as the Lord spoke to me
through my temple time and told me with a voice that thundered “you will have
them in Heaven, I promise”.

OK Jesus you did it again, I was alone again and robbed of my life. All over the
word, so I looked at it like a blessing in disguise.
I knew I could not waste his precious time that I had lost, those last ten years. So
I immersed my self into the Bible again and prayer. I did what had cost me so
dearly I fasted and asked for direction; with strong tears I faced my future.
All I had was a backpack and about $3000 as I paid a few debts off.

I needed to find the COG again so I went to Brisbane regularly (wittnessing) to

find them witnessing in the parks or wherever I could. I tried for a month and
could not see them till one day I met a guy on the street, he had a poster and was
selling it WOW it was the COG, but now they were called “The Family”.

I was ecstatic as the posters were so cool and they seemed so professional now, I
asked to come to a home to see them.
I met them in a home and they were a little reluctant to treat me as one of there
own or even as a prodigal son.

I was an outcast and although some of the original members remembered me as

the wild Jesse James (that was my bible name back then, we all took other named
to symbolize our commitment to be separate from the world) and had some
respect for me, as I was a pioneer in the filed of personal witnessing. Still the fact
that I left the COG ten years ago made me a Judas and one not to be fully
trusted.

I was of course shattered again but only momentarily as I quickly jumped to my

long lost old friend again Jesus, the word. I had just forsaken my life again to
serve Jesus again and the fact that I left the army of the Lord was not as
important to me as the Fact that I need to make up for lost time.

So I started my memory course again and the Family used to give me literature
and posters to witness with although I did not live in a home at the time. It did
not matter, I was home on the streets every day witnessing and loving the sheep.

I lived wherever I could, bus shelters, anywhere, sometimes I would not even go
away from town I would stay in the mall all night witnessing and come four am
as the last sheep would come out of the bars I would go somewhere to rest, or just
hitchhike to the gold coast every three days see Mum and Dad and have a rest
and go again.

This I did for many months.

I had to beg the family for the posters to distribute every time, they were getting
more reluctant to give them to me as I was saturating the city with them, they
were now large families with an average of five children per couple. Their
distribution rate was very slow compared to a single male with no
responsibilities.
Now I can see how they were right in stopping me, but then I felt like I had to
witness or my life was a waste.

So I went to there printer who did there mass ordering and pretended to be a
leader of the family (actually I stumbled across this printer, I was going there to
copy the posters, when I discovered he was the printer for the family, I played the
game and pretended to be a family rep.) and asked for a print run to be done of
10,000 posters. The gentleman said ‘well that’s a particularly small order but OK
I’ll do it’, he said.

Three days later I picked up the pallet of posters and paid cash for them.
When the Family found out they were going to excommunicate me but could not
get permission from Peter Fish who now ran or had influence on the southern
hemisphere family sector. He knew my zeal and left it in Jesus hands. Though
one time he had a meeting and kicked me out of a home, because I did not cry
when I was asked to show remorse. Oh well. Besides I hardly visited except to
help around the house sometimes and pay my tithes and offerings and the
fellowships.

I then became an associate member. Yahoo. (Tithing is good cement that bonds
the church together)
For two years I traveled all around Australia and even had a cute girlfriend until
the family recruited her, I was upset about that, as I was not allowed to see her.

But never the less I was a devout member of the Family and would do my best at
all times to maintain the standard that Father David put in practice.
I was and still am convinced that the Family is the most politically correct
Christian religion on the face of this planet to date.

And I have been in and associated with over 20 groups/churches

My unusual witnessing adventures took me to all sorts of places around Australia

to all the sordid spots like Kings Cross, Saint Kilda and all the hot spots. This I
did daily and continued with my memory program, except I changed it as the
times allowed for. Different chapters and different sets, this was my life again for
the next four years from the age of 27 to 31.
I spent most my time on the road, I probably met you if you were alive around
that time, I must have personally witnessed to over 100,000 people. Daily in the
streets and on every corner of so many towns.

My witnessing took me to Singapore this time and the Family there heard of my
freelance attitude and set up a meeting with me at one of the cafe’s there and told
me point blank I could not associate with them, I knew this would be the case so I
sent my tithe to a family in India.

I saw the tapes they produced and they were good so I spent the only money I
had left $500 to re produce the two tapes I had. The quality was low but it got me
something to sell over there and also a chance to witness with the music tapes,
they were a great tool to use, besides that was my last dollar and I need the
money to survive. The Lord gave me a good deal as a Christian was at the help
desk in a Hugh recording studio and he winked at me and pointed to a couple
gentlemen walking up some steps they looked like rappers or something, he said I
will put your run on the back of their order. I did not understand but I did get a
great deal, I pray you bless that young pioneer in Jesus name.

I sold the Christian tapes and posters all over Singapore and Malaysia for a year
Straight. It was very hectic, as the officials were only one step behind me.
I cant count how many times I prayed for Jesus to change my life, as I had no
one and spent my days trying to convince people that Jesus would make there life
better. Now I realize that He made me this way and who am I to speak against
the master potter, I may not be a great example of a successful life here on Earth,
even a Christian existence. Jesus knows what He is doing so I just testify anyhow,
who am I to judge what is His design in this complexed Galaxy that He governs.

It was all too much; I had no respect for the law and the officials as I often tried
to escape there many forces from customs to Ignorant Christian groups, to
Muslim extremists.

To me the system was a vile beast that has to be destroyed and the sooner the
better. Now I am older and wiser and know the system has many faults, but it is
blessed of God and ordained to keep the people in order, it has fabulous help
advantages and Jesus would curse me if I cursed it. Only the Lord has the
authority to take over this world.
Jesus will return to take back His planet and this is my great hope and dream. So
I obeyed the bible, in the spirit in which it was written, and continued on my
witnessing adventures, with the whole world against me it seemed sometimes, but
I continued nevertheless.

I met Tina my next wife in a flat in Penang. She looked like an 18 year old, but
she was 27 at the time and there were two children with her a boy six and girl
eleven. I thought they were her brother and sister and when I said to her to come
with me and become a missionary, she did.

I never imagined she was actually in a defacto mirage and these two children
were hers, she mentioned it to me but I thought she was just lying and just
wanted a ticket to Australia.

I was in Singapore and she rang me and said she was coming there, I was so
excited and we had a ball in Singapore for two weeks. Then I went back to
Penang and talked with her brother Simon, he convinced me that she was defacto
and the kids were hers. It was too late I was in love and was not going to let her
go no matter what.

We got married in Joho Baru and I came back to Australia with my new wife a
gorgeous young Indian woman that looked like a supermodel.
I quickly settled into the married life again and set up a little home for us in
Terranora, my father’s property.

I turned a caravan into a livable two bedroom flat and had rabbits and a great
fishpond. I started again.
At the time my little brother was running a shop for my Dad in Southport, N.
Street Pawnbrokers.
Brian Junior was inexperienced in the business world and had lost a lot of money
in the shop so Dad asked me to run it for him, and gave me a 50% share in the
shop.

Aha! What an amazing six years of trading it was, with loaning money and
buying and selling second hand goods. The poor would come and ask for such
little money for their goods, some were sincere some were just evil. Like a giant
commercial washing machine I saw merchandise get recycled into the system
again. I set up a repair section in my business and hired a repairman. Then
started to make jewelry and produce new rings at an amazing low cost of $14.50
per ring plus materials. Life was good.

When I was 34 I had acquired a large five-bedroom home I renovated in

Coombabah, Gold Coast near the river, and put in a nice swimming pool.
Business was good but I was getting too cocky so I made a mistake, and it cost me
my business, home, wife and former life. Oh Jesus.

I remember praying desperately around that time for help from Jesus to get me
out of the Pawnshop and free me from the corrupt life I was involved in, I guess
He did answer my prayer but not as I expected He would, it was all my fault I
received some stolen goods in my pawnshop and the system wanted to make an
example of me.

Soon I was in Jail and sold my share of the shop. Six months passed and I was
released on home detention to spend three months confined to my big home.
My wife had spent her time enjoying other guys company; she was as sexy as
ever and had lots of boyfriends, one in particular Peter S. He had a shopping
center to his corrupt credit and acted like a big man.

Tina on the fifteenth of December 1997 left me for Peter and lived in his hi rise
apartment in Surfers Paradise. Nine years of marriage gone I could not believe it
was happening again, I fought desperately to get her back, I met this Peter in a
mall in Southport and told him to get lost we shaped up to fight Tina yelled out
and I turned around and Peter hit me from behind I spun around and laid into
him, then all I could hear is Tina in the background calling out to Peter.

I even contemplated suicide at this time in my life as I was sick of it all and the
people I loved always seem to betray me. I drove for ages out west to the town I
had a home in many years earlier, there in the dry desert wilderness, I decided to
fight once again.

Now I do not believe in divorce and neither does Jesus, Moses wrote the bill of
divorce only because the so-called elders of the day pestered him for it. The
Almighty has a statute in eternity to stick together at no matter what the price to
self, and people like my parents that have lived over fifty years of married life
will testify that though it had it’s fiery trials, they never gave up to self but put
the sanctity of marriage before themselves and the respect of the vow, to death do
us part. All others are liars who break their word. I would still be married today
if the sanctity of that word were kept. Don’t listen to the pathetic teachers of this
world who disrespect the meaning of a handshake or the holiness of a vow.

I acted quick and put all my time and energy to keeping H. our daughter, from
that lifestyle so I got a settlement document together to pay Tina $30,000 cash
plus $20,000 in jewelers and stuff, and with it came a family court order to have
custody of H.

Tina wanted the money and knew I was a great father and in her heart did not
trust Peter. So she signed it and I lived in our family home and raised H.
Some nights she would cry herself to sleep and so would I. My world was
shattered again but I was determined to make the most of it.

I had asked my brother in law Michael C. to get me a job in his construction

company B. He put me in a laboring position for two weeks and as I showed
myself to be excellent, he moved me to the new building in the Park Royal to
oversee defects in the newly completed 23-story hotel.

I had to get the 2.7 million retainers back to B. within a year. To do this I became
very friendly with David the man in charge of engineering in the acquired hotel
and he would give me weekly lists to do, and I would see that they got done. It’s
whom you know!

B. received their retainer back and during the year I worked there I also helped
Ron H. build the games room in the building. A beautiful one million-dollar
project, I’m so proud of, if you ever visit the broad beach Park Royal you will see
the games room and the Karaoke room, I think the building has another name
now?

During this period I met a girl in housekeeping, as the hotel was fully functional
and she later became my live in girl friend, Carmen L, a Filipino. Very sexy 26
years old. I finished up there about a year later and took care of H. full time.
Myles L. had become a good friend to me in prison and we had formed a
business together a few months after He was released in 1998.
‘Marine detailing and anti fouling’, we had fun in this work.

I then sold my home and bought a property in Tweed heads for $50,000 with a
broken down old house on it.
I lived with Carmen in Mermaid Waters and we had a cool life. She worked at
the Park Royal and I continued with my business. I was living a defacto
relationship.

Carmen and H. and I went to The Philippines in 1999 to visit her relatives, the
two-week experience was good for us.

In 2000 I was busy doing up my old house in Tweed and Carmen was busy
gambling and being a playgirl; we went out a lot and had a fairly exciting life.
Tina was still in our life and she always made Carmen feel uncomfortable.
Tina was always on the rocks with Peter as he was a playboy and wanted more
than Tina could offer.

So she would use me to get to him and one day (when Peter and her were on the
rocks again) I asked her to get back with me and become a family again, she
agreed and I told Carmen to leave as Tina was moving back in with me (stupid
me). Tina went back to Peter and Carmen found a new guy to love some dealer at
the casino. I think she was seeing him on the side? Poor Carmen she ended up
with a broken man and she deserved better than that, I saw her life and she was
too good for my burnt out love.

Carmen left and moved in to a unit that I paid for, and all the furniture. She saw
a solicitor and found out she could sue me for half of my land at Tweed. We had a
pre martial agreement made up but it was useless after a period of time, so I
begged her to have mercy on H. and me and accept the money I offered. I paid
$8,000 all up and she lived happily with her dealer guy.

I moved to the house at Tweed with H. in 2001 and started to renovate it more as
we lived there, building a large bedroom off the garage and making it a happy
home.
I went on the pension when Carmen left as the business was slow sometimes as I
was full time looking after H. dropping her off to school and picking her up so we
could spend the evenings together.

I now decided to devote my life to H. and kept to myself a lot.

I enrolled H. in High school in 2002 and started to look for a better life. After
considering all the possibilities I decided in a Real Estate Business with my little
brother Tony as the principle and half partner.
I put in all the money and set up the shop and Tony had the license and ran the
management. This worked well for a while and I had a good friend and business
associate that worked in our shop ‘O. Real Estate’, Brett R.

We spent all our spare time together and he even encouraged me to go to Brazil
in 2003 when my other brother Brian Jr. went to visit his in-laws.
I had a wonderful time and had plans to open a restaurant in a town, two hours
outside of Rio, a town called called; Bouzios.

Brett wanted to be apart of my venture and make business there also, maybe
even another branch of O. Real Estate. All a vision to shoot for and it could have
been a reality as we were only months from the reality then disaster hit and the
police came to my door one night.

While I was in the real estate business I committed another crime, another
serious one. (No I wont discuss my sins, my crime) I have fully paid for this crime
now. Three years and ten months sentance. I guess I didnt care about my life.

The shock of going to prison hit me hard as I was 46 years old and I did not want
to die here in Jail so I attempted suicide the next day. OK I’m weak!

Knowing I was going to go home to Heaven with little or no reward, my mind

was made up, as I still believed Jesus could not lie and He has to full fill His
promises.
Armed with this knowledge I said everything I could to the police, that day I was
arrested.

I knew I would be dead the next day so I did not care that much.

I took rat sack that night at Brett’s hi rise apartment, he found the pills of rat
sack I made up that afternoon and called the police and I went to Southport
hospital. The arsenic had kicked in severely and I was totally disorientated. I
answered all the physiologist questions he gave me a pill and let me go. Today I
suffer greatly for that incident, as my system will testify.

Tony my traitorous brother, prepared documents for me to sign the next day
(Saturday) and I trusted him as he said he would pay half the money to an
account and H. would be secure. Besides all this I was in shock and tripping on
arsenic poisoning at any moment I thought I would drop dead, but I could not
risk the fact that I might survive so I planned a better suicide.

Tony’s heart was against me and he was planning on taking the whole business, a
true traitor in the sense of the word.

I was running all over town telling doctors how I could not sleep, I acquired 120
sleeping tablets 40 Valium and 20 depressants.

I asked Brett to help me die that night and he said he would . So we had a drink
at the pub that afternoon after work, and we went back to his apartment. He
later talked me into forgeting leaving this world and staying for H's sake.

I bought our usual Jack Daniel’s and we went to the beach and watched the sun
set. I took all the pills. Brett ran off, as he did not want to be seen with a dead
body, he had lots and lots of skeletons in his closet.

Let me put this straight, I am not an advocate of suicide, as it is the ultimate

physical slap in the face to God, but remember I was at the end and fully
engrossed in my sin (besides I am a weak human). Even being saved and
knowing your going to be allowed to enter those pearly gates doesent stop your
heart from acting on emotions down here on earth, I didnt care if I lost my
reward (position) in the heavenly city. The truly saved will know what I mean.

The next day some lady found me on the beach, convulsing and an ambulance
took me to Tweed Hospital.

I don’t know how I survived it all; I study Anatomy and Philology and have done
so throughout my three years in jail. I don’t know maybe the arsenic, then 24
hours later masses amounts of sere tone and depressants counteracted each
other. I don’t know I don’t need to know now, all I know now is He spared me
again.

Tony came to the hospital and took the keys to my home from me as I lay on the
hospital bed, unaware, and went in and stole all my documents to my business
and anything else he wanted. He thought he now owned the business. He then
told me the next day to go to hell and the business was his.

I forgive him, now. It took years dont worry...I'm still a normal man.

Now after I came to the realization that my death would be victory for the devil, I
decided to suffer in jail and pay for my sin, so I had two months to prepare my
house to put my life in order to go to Jail for a long time.

I have been in Jail now for over seven month now and have three years and two
months left to finish my sentence. To date 1st of October 2004, Released
December 2007. This jail term and the reason why is explained in detail in my
private diary.
I served six months at Junee where the young gangsters run the jail and now I
am in Long Bay Jail.

INTERMISSION

I’ve nearly finished me sentence now (been out for 6 months now) with only six
months parole left to do.

I am in a little unit, truly enjoying the reality of the big world. I find it hard to go
out after six o’clock and find myself indoors a lot.
I spent my time in jail in the word and studding and painting and playing guitar.

I produced seven songs in Jail, when I was in maximum, and an array of

paintings.

The songs came to me all in three days. I have not received any songs since. Oh
well.

But I love playing them, I weep inside when I hear them.

I also got the whole vision for my Z7 web site and the whole 50 posters and the
design and all the talent for the art book in there. I can’t explain it I read a few
art books and then inspiration took over and I was like a man empowered with a
mission.

Now I have a reason to complete the next few years. I don’t hold much faith in
time so I plan on the next four years, then I don’t know. Hopefully He will see I
have finished my mission and take me home. Amen.

My vision for the future is to finish Parole in 2007. I have sold my property on
the Gold Coast (money; Ha) now I can finance my future witnessing life.

I live very cheap as I am spend my time doing my art book and my prayer life.
My savings are dwindling, but I will finish this last mission.

I will be distrubiting my art book to keep me motivated and to meet people. This
is my life to date and it can only get worse before it gets better as (Long story
about Satan and Jesus: you should read it). I am happy are you? Jesus is my
friend is He yours.

August 2007: New beginnings, I have done as much as I can now on my website
and book, now the hard part. Selling Z7 to a starving world that needs the
answer to life... Yea I know it... hummm amazing... simple really...it’s all in the
book every question you want to know is all hidden in the mysteries of the Z7 art
book.

I have sent 700 copies to many bookstores and all sorts of people. To be expected
they will look at it for what it is a bazaar religious book. Hum. The fun begins.

Feb. 2009: I have built a house in the South Burnett region in Queensland, and go to a great
fellowship in Kingaroy. I have distributed alot more of my art book around the region and would
like to get out another million coppies as the people love the concept of my own art and
expression, I rarely have a knockback maybe 1 in 30 maybe? So I am desperate to get another
shipment from my printer in china. They cost me $1 per book delivered. So I would like another
print run of say 7000 books. If anyone is intrested I am willing to give in exchange a: Mens 1 ct
diamond ring with a 2 ct perfect blue saphire 18ct ring (valuation $7000 aprox) in exchange
for you buying the 7000 books for me. Think about it if its you?

“Only one life will soon be past only what’s done for Christ will last”

The End