Developmental Psychology

Chapter 14

1. Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood

TEMPERAMENT Show fewer emotional mood swings than they did in adolescence and they become more

responsible and engage in less risk taking behavior

Children who were highly active at age 4 were likely to be very outgoing at age 23 1. Easy and difficulty temperament: linked to well adjusted lives. Boys with difficult temperament in childhood are less likely as adults to continue their formal education. Girls with difficult temperament in childhood are more likely to experience marital conflict as adults 2. Inhibition: less likely than other adults to be assertive or experience social support, and more likely to delay entering a stable job track. Study revealed that most inhibited boys and girls at age 4-6 of age were rated as inhibited by their parents and delayed having a stable partnership and finding a first full job age 23 years old 3. Ability to control ones emotions: when children showed good control their emotions and were resilient in the face of stress, they were likely to continue to handle emotions effectively as adults These study reveal some continuity between certain aspects of temperament in childhood and adjustment in early adulthood Theodore Wachs (2000): proposed ways that linkages between temperament in childhood and personality in adulthood might vary depending on the intervening contexts in individuals experience

Early Adulthood

1. Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood

ATTACHMENT Adults may count on their romantic partners to be a secure base to which they can return

and obtain comfort and security in stressful times

Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver (1987) revealed that young adults who were securely attached in their romantic relationships were more likely to describe their early relationship with their parents as securely attached. Longitudinal study: infants who were securely attached at 1 year old were securely attached 20 years later in their adult romantic relationships There is a link between early attachment styles and later attachment styles were lessened by stressful and disruptive experiences Securely attached adults are more satisfied with their close relationships than insecurely attached adults Relationships of securely attached adults are more likely to be characterized by trust, commitment and longevity Securely attached adults provide support when they are distressed and more likely to give support when their partner is distressed Secure attachment to parents was linked to ease in forming friendships in college Genes can affect how adults experience the environment (5-HTTLPR) (GxE interaction) Parental loss in early childhood was more likely to result in unresolved attachment in adulthood

Early Adulthood

2. Attraction, Love and Close Relationship

ATTRACTION Familiarity and Similarity

Familiartiy is a necessary condition for a close relationship to develop

Friends and lovers tend to have similar attitudes, values, lifestyles, and physical attractiveness Consensual Validation is the reason why people who have similar are attracted to one another

Physical Attractiveness Men and women differ on importance of good looks when they seek an intimate partner Women tend to rate as most important such traits as considerateness, honesty, dependability, kindness, understanding, and earning prospects: men prefer good looks, cooking skills and frugality We usually seek out someone at our own level of attractiveness in physical characteristics as well as social attributes we addressed previously . Matching hypothesis although we may prefer a more attractive person in the abstract, in the real world, we end up choosing someone who is close to our own level of attractiveness Matching hypothesis did not hold for couples once they became married Attractive husbands were less satisfied in the first 6 months Study: both spouses behaved more positively when the wife was more attractive and behaved more negatively when the husband was more attractive

Early Adulthood

2. Attraction, Love and Close Relationship

THE FACES OF LOVE Intimacy

Eriksons Stage: Intimacy vs. Isolation

finding oneself while losing oneself in another person, and it requires a commitment to another person Inability to develop meaningful relationships with others can harm an individuals personality. Can lead individuals to repudiate, ignore or attack those who frustrate them Eriksons Stage: Intimacy vs Indepdence At the same time, individuals need to balance intimacy and independence The extend to which young adults develop autonomy has important implications, allows them to be smoother in interpersonal relationships and career

Friendship Adulthood brings opportunities for new friendships as individuals move to new locations and may establish new friendships in their neighborhood or at work Women have more close friends and friendships involve more self-disclosure and exchange of mutual support. Friendship characterized by not only depth but breadth too, share many aspects of their experiences, thoughts and feelings Male friends are more likely to engage in activities, especially outdoors. They are less likely than women to talk about their weaknesses with their friends and want practical solutions to their problems rather than sympathy Cross-gender friendships are more common among adults than elementary school children.

Early Adulthood

2. Attraction, Love and Close Relationship

Romantic Love Includes emotions as passion fear, anger, sexual desire, joy, and jealousy

Has strong components of sexuality and infatuation

Ellen Berscheid (1988): sexual desire is the most important ingredient of romantic love.

Affectionate Love Also called companionate love Type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has deep, caring affection for the person

Consummate Love Robert Sternberg proposed triarchic theory of love that composes of 3 dimensions: passion, intimacy and commitment

FALLING OUT OF LOVE It con lead to depression, obsessive thoughts, sexual dysfunction, inability to work effectively When involved in unrequited love, thinking clearly in such relationships is often difficult because our thoughts are so colored by arousing emotions

Early Adulthood

3. Adult Lifestyles
SINGLE ADULTS Have time to make decisions about ones life course, time to develop personal resources

to meet goals, freedom to make autonomous decisions and pursue ones own schedule
and interests, opportunities to explore new places and try out new things and privacy Problems: forming intimate relationships with other adults, confronting loneliness Higher % of singles reported they experienced extreme stress in past month than married and divorced individuals

COHABITING ADULTS Couples who cohabit face disapproval by parents and difficulties in owning property jointly Study showed: cohabiting women experience an elevated risk of partner violence compared to married women Studies showed: lower rates of marital satisfaction and higher rates of divorce in couples who lived together before getting married Study revealed: timing of cohabitation is an important factor in martial satisfaction Better to cohabit only after becoming engaged Meta-analysis: individuals who had cohabited with a romantic partner were more likely to experience lower levels of marital quality and stability than their counterparts who had not cohabited Possibility because: less traditional lifestyle of cohabitation may attract less conventional individuals who are not great believers in marriage in the first place

Early Adulthood

3. Adult Lifestyles
MARRIED ADULTS Changing norm of male-female equality in marriage has produced marital relationship that are more fragile and intense than they were earlier in the 20 th century

Marital Trends Increase in cohabitation and a slight decline in % of divorced individuals who remarry contribute to the decline in marriage rates in US Marriage in adolescence are more likely to end in divorce than marriages in adulthood

Cross-Cultural Comparison The value of chastity varies in different countries (desiring a virgin for partner at marriage) Domesticity is also valued where South Africa, Estonia and Colombia placed high value in housekeeping skills in their marital preference Religion plays an important role Scandinavian countries marry later than Americans , they cohabit more. Sweden women delay marriage until they are 31 and men, 33 Japanese young adults live at home longer with their parents before marrying

Premarital Education Premarital education was linked to higher level of marital satisfaction and commitment to a spouse, a lower level of destructive martial conflict and 31% lower likelihood of divorce

Benefits of Good Marriage Live longer, healthier lives, lower risk of dying in 10 year period. The longer women were married, the less likely they were to develop chronic health condition and the longer that

men were married, the lower their risk was of developing disease
Feel physically and emotionally less stressed

Early Adulthood

3. Adult Lifestyles
DIVORCED ADULTS Youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having religious affiliation, having parents who are divorced and having baby before marriage are factors that are

associated with increases in divorce

If divorce is going to occur, it usually takes place early in marriage, around 5 th to 10th year of marriage (timing may reflect an effort by partners in troubled marriages to stay in marriage and try to work things out) Martial dissolution for both men and women were more likely to experience an episode of depression than individuals who remained with a spouse over a 2 year period

REMARRIED ADULTS Men remarry sooner than women and those with higher income will likely remarry than their counterparts with lower incomes Remarried families are more likely to be unstable than first marriages with divorce more likely to occur Adults who get remarried have lower level of mental health but remarriage often improves financial status esp. women Remarried adults marital relationship is more egalitarian and more likely to be characterized by shared decision making than first marriages Remarried wives report to have more influence on financial matters in new family Remarried adults often find it difficult to stay remarried because many remarry not for love but for financial reasons, rearing children and to reduce loneliness

GAY AND LESBIAN ADULTS Lesbian couples place high priority on equality in their relationships and they are more

flexible in their gender roles

Shows on average higher level of relationship quality than heterosexual couples

Early Adulthood

4. Marriage and the Family

MAKING MARRIAGE WORK John Gottman studies married couples lives. It is important to realize that love is not something magical and that through knowledge and effort couples can improve their

relationship
Gottman: forgiveness and commitment are important aspects of successful marriages Study showed: holding grudge and wanting revenge was linked with lower marital satisfaction for husbands and wives, while forgiveness that involved increased understanding of ones partner and decreased anger about betrayal was related to developing more positive parenting alliances Remarried couples should have (1) realistic expectations, (2) develop new positive relationship within the family

BECOMING A PARENT Parenting Myths and Reality Myths: birth of child will save failing marriage, parenting is an instinct

Trends in Childbearing The age at which individuals have children have been increasing One-child families is increasing Giving birth to 1 child reduces demands of child care Men are apt to invest greater amount of time fathering Parental care is often supplemented by institutional care Having children early: parents are more physically energetic and can cope better, have fewer medical problems, less likely to build up expectations for their children Having children later: have more time to consider their goals in life, parents are more

mature, engage in more competent parenting, better established careers

Early Adulthood

4. Marriage and the Family

DEALING WITH DIVORCE E. Mavis Hetheringtons research, men and women took six common pathways in exiting divorce:

1. The Enhancer: competent in multiple areas of life, showed remarkable ability to bounce
back and create something meaningful out of problems 2. The Good-Enoughs: average people coping with divorce, shows some strengths and some weaknesses. Less persistent than the enhancers. Women in this category usually married men who educationally and economically similar to first husbands 3. The Seekers: motivated to find new mates soon 4. The Libertines: spent more time in singles bars and had more casual sex. Grows dillusions with their sensation-seeking lifestyle and wanted a stable relationship 5. The Competent Loners: well-adjusted, self-sufficient, socially skilled. Successful career, active social lives. Have little interest in sharing their lives with others 6. The Defeated: problems increases

Early Adulthood

5. Gender, Relationships and SelfDevelopment

GENDER AND COMMUNICATION Deborah Tannen (1990): analyzed the talk of women and men Found that many wives complain about their husband due to lack of communication

which is high on womens lists of reasons for divorce and is mentioned much less than
men Rapport Talk vs. Report Talk (See Deborah Tannen) Study: people can guess the writers gender 2/3 of the time Study: women make 63% of phone calls when talking to another woman stay on the phone longer Meta Analyze: overall gender differences in communication are small for both children and adults Analysis: no gender differences in average number of total words spoken by 7 different samples of college men and women Study documented some gender differences in specific aspects of communication: Women used words more for discussing people and what they are doing as well as for communicating internal processes (expressions) Men: words more for external events, objects and process Men and women cant be distinguished in their reference to sexuality and anger

Early Adulthood

5. Gender, Relationships and SelfDevelopment

WOMEN DEVELOPMENT Women place high value on relationships and focus on nurturing their connections with others

This view echoes with Jean Baker Miller (1986)

Argues that a large part of womens active participation is in the development of others Women try too interact with others in a way that will foster the other persons development along dimensions of emotionally, intellectually and socially Harriet Lerner (1989) it is important for women to bring to their relationships nothing less than a strong, assertive, independent, and authentic self Emphasizes on I-ness of both persons can be appreciated and enhanced while still staying emotionally connected to each other Need to not only maintain their competency in relationships but also be self-motivated Miller, Tannen, Carol Gilligan believe that women are more relationship oriented than men. Relationship orientation should be prized as a skill in our culture more than it currently is MENS DEVELOPMENT Joseph Plecks Role-Strain Viewmale roles are contradictory and inconsistent Men not only experience stress when they violate mens roles, they also are harmed when they do act in accord with mens roles Ron Levant suggest that men should become more emotionally intelligent to improve close relatioships.

Early Adulthood

Consummate Love
See Sternbergs Triangle of Love

Romantic Love
Also called passionate love, or eros, romantic love has strong sexual and infatuation components and often predominates in the early period of a love relationship

Affectionate Love
Also called companionate love Type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has deep, caring affection for the

person

Consensual Validation
Explanation of why individuals are attracted to people who are similar to them. Our own attitudes and behavior are supported and validated when someone elses attitudes and behavior are similar to our own

Matching Hypothesis
States that although we prefer a more attractive person in the abstract, in the real world we end up choosing someone who is close to our own level

Rapport Talk
The language of conversation; it is a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships

Report Talk
Talk that is designed to give information and includes public speaking

Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver (1987)

revealed that young adults who were securely attached in their romantic relationships were more likely to describe their early relationship with their parents as securely attached Came up with assessment to measure attachment styles and they correspond to 3 attachment styles (1) secure attachment (2) avoidant (3) anxious 1. Secure Attachment Style: positive views of relationships, find it easy to get close to others. Enjoy sexuality in the context of a committed relationship and are less likely than others to have one-night stand 2. Avoidant attachment Style: hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships, once in relationship, they tend to distant themselves from their partner 3. Anxious Attachment Style: demand closeness, less trusting and more emotional, jealous, possessive.

Mario Mikulincer and Philip Shaver (2007)

Individuals who are securely attached have a well-integrated sense of self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-efficacy They have the ability to control their emotions, are optimistic, and are resilient Attachment insecurity places couples at risk for relationship problems (when anxious individual is paired with avoidant individual, the anxious partners needs and demands frustrate the avoidant partners preference for distance in the relationship) The avoidant partners need for distance causes stress for the anxious partners need for closeness When both partners have an anxious attachment pattern, the pairing usually produces dissatisfaction with the marriage and can lead to mutual attack and retreat in relationship When both partners have an anxious attachment style, they feel misunderstood and rejected, excessively dwell on their own insecurities, and seek to control the others behavior Attachment style makes only a moderate size contribution to relationship functioning in that other factors contribute to relationship satisfaction and success

Theodore Walch
proposed ways that linkages between temperament in childhood and personality in adulthood might vary depending on the intervening contexts in individuals experience

Robert Sternberg
Triangle of love made of: (1) passion, (2) intimacy, (3) commitment Consummate love involves all three dimensions If only Passion-infatuated (affair or fling) Intimacy + Commitment Affectionate love (couples married for long) Passion + Commitment Fatuous love (when one person worships another from a distance) All three: Consummate love

John Gottman
John Gottman studies married couples lives. It is important to realize that love is not something magical and that through knowledge and effort couples can improve their relationship Establish love maps: allow personal insights and detailed maps of each others life and world. Willing to share feelings with each other Nurture fondness and admiration: sing each others praises, puts positive spin Turn toward each other instead of away Let your partner influence you: willingness to share power and to respect the other persons view. Equality in decision making Solve solvable conflicts: (1) perceptualproblems that do not go away easily (2) solvable problems. Should start out by using soft approach, try to make and receive repair attempts Overcome gridlock: move from gridlock to dialogue and be patient Create shared meaning: share goals and help each other achieve

Deborah Tannen
Rapport Talk vs Report Talk Women enjoy rapport talk more than report Men lack interest in rapport talk which bothers many women Men hold center stage thought such verbal performances as telling stories and jokes. They learn to use talk as a way of getting attention

Jean Baker Miller

Argues that a large part of

womens active participation is in

the development of others Women try too interact with others in a way that will foster the other persons development along dimensions of emotionally, intellectually and socially

Harriet Lerner
it is important for women to bring to their relationships nothing less than a strong, assertive, independent, and authentic self Emphasizes on I-ness of both persons

can be appreciated and enhanced while

still staying emotionally connected to each other Need to not only maintain their

competency in relationships but also be

self-motivated

Joseph Plecks Role-strain view

Health: live 5 years less than women. Male role is hazardous to mens health. Higher rates of stress-related disorders Male-Female Relationships: male role involves expectations that men should be dominant and should control women. Traditional view of male role encourages men to disparage women Male-male relationships: too many men have too little interaction with their fathers and learn to be nurturing and sensitive to others

Ron Levant
1. Every man should reexamine his beliefs about manhood 2. Separate out the valuable aspects of male role 3. Get rid of those part of masculine role that are destructive