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Anyone who wants to sue us can advise our lawyer, John Smith. Hes a work of satire too, by the way.
ones do. We just want to increase the tax on those rowdy teens so that they will, with every cigarette and every mickey, be investing a little bit in their future. Our only regret is we couldnt find a way to shoehorn P3 funding into post-secondary education, but maybe next year. Students who will be affected by the increase in the tax have for the most part understood the government move.
Seen above is Premier Brad Wall fullling his necessitities for getting his own education. Enrico Falafel/Metro News
For tenth grader Stephen Krum, the message has never been clearer. I really wasnt that interested in smoking or drinking, but if I want to do my part in balancing the provincial budget and being able to keep universities operating, I have to take up smoking. And the occasional Canadian is going to have to get a lot more frequent. I just really want to go to university in a
few years, and apparently this is the only conceivable way that funding for them might ever be possible. Marvin Power/Depot News
Shredding papers seemed like a clever solution to dealing with having to mark student work: Innovation!
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Watch out, John John ... Taylor Swift has her eye on you
MANY WORDS Puald Bergden celebritybullshit@depotnews.ca
Taylor Swift has totally been eye-fuckin the shit out of 20-year-old pro surfer John John Florence, according to some fucking losers whose lives are so pathetic they have to live vicariously through the personal lives of celebrities. Theyve totally been, like, texting and
junk, a source says. Apparently she texted him. I dont think they have hung out yet, but theyve been talking. Talking. Thats some newsworthy shit right there. John John doesnt want to ruin things, so hes being careful not to say too much.
Rehab doesnt seem to be getting in the way of Lohans selflove life Just because Lohan masturLindsay Lohan bating in priis facing 90 vate. How the days in rehab fuck did you doesnt mean get into my she cant keep room? Im trypaddling that ing to turn my pink canoe. life around; Statistically cant you stupid speaking, most fucks give me people mastur- some goddamn bate, but our privacy?, she sources were told E! News. shocked to find
Yesterday, Vianne Timmons was seen leaving the U of R and driving home. This is where I live. What the hell do you want from me! she said on Wednesday. Go the fuck away, or Im calling the cops, she added. Her secretary told Depot that she left for home
at 6 p.m. that evening. Thats what time she usually goes home, she said. Our source also told us that Timmons drives a car to the U of R. It has four wheels. Also doors, our source told us.
Tom chase and his sandwich are reunited after his latest stint doing his job in the morning, and the couple reportedly celebrated by hitting up their favourite local dive bar, Riddell Centre. They seemed really happy with each other. Tom and Sandy were having so much fun together, a source says. They sat in the back of Riddell in a booth and were laughing. At one point, there were standing at a table just being normal, as any person and his or her sandwich would be with each other. They were touchy-feely. There were crumbs on his jacket. They were just being cute.
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