74 Kallista Rd.
QUEENSLAND
BUSHWALKERS
CLUB Inc.
Newsletter
Mt Maroon via the Caves Route
Club News
AGM
th
The AGM was held on the 7 of November and all positions
were filled. A hearty welcome to the new committee and to the
members who put their hands up for the other voluntary
positions available.
Helen MacAllister has emerged from Vice to become the
President while Gary Woodward has taken on the onerous job
of Vice President.
David Rae has accepted the position of Training Officer.
Lynn Nicol, Lynne Cavanagh and Richard Kolarski have been
sentenced to serve another term in the same positions.
Danuta Gur is our new Social Secretary.
Emmanuel accepted the position of Outings Officer at the AGM
but unfortunately has resigned so Patricia Kolarski who was to
be Treasurer has stepped in as Outings Officer.
Bob Gur has now filled in the vacant position of Treasurer.
In the other voluntary positions, Trevor Davern has continued
as Equipment Officer, Margaret Smith has returned to the role
of Supper Convenor, Kerry de Clauzel has taken on the job of
Federation representative with Richard, while Frank Bowling
and Barbara Makepeace are our FMR representatives.
Our Club is well represented in the Campsite Monitoring. We
have 5 members involved, with Barbara and Kerry taking on
more than one campsite.
A full list of the present committee members and our other
volunteers plus their phone numbers is in every Newsletter
usually on Page 2.
Page 1 of 8
Rochedale South
QLD 4123
Email qldbwc@yahoo.com
Phone No (07) 3341 7509
www.geocities.com/qldbwc
December 2006
Pilgrimage 2007
On the weekend of the 4-5 November, fourteen members from
QBW and the Ipswich Bushwalkers Club inspected some
possible sites for next years Pilgrimage. After surveying a few
sites, the Kalbar Showgrounds (near Boonah) has been
selected as the site of the 2007 Pilgrimage.
Pilgrimage 2007 will be held on 24 to 26 August 2007. Trevor
Davern is convening/chairing the working party for the
preparation and delivery of the 2007 Pilgrimage.
Logan and Beaudesert Bushwalkers Club have now expressed
interest in co-hosting, so Queensland Bushwalkers Club Inc will
be hosting the Pilgrimage along with Ipswich Bushwalkers Inc,
Brisbane Catholic Bushwalking Club Inc, Logan and
Beaudesert Bushwalkers, and Federation Mountain Rescue.
First Aid Course 11-12 November 2006
Seven Club members attended a St John’s course in Senior
First Aid which included Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation over
this weekend.
The course also covered topics such as applying First Aid,
managing injuries at an emergency and providing emergency
care.
At the end of the course there was a short multiple-choice exam
and all seven members passed and received their certificates.
Good On You to Helen, Noelene, Mary, Patricia, Ian, Jens and
Richard.
Check out the man in bandages, or is that bondage on Page 2.
 General Information The Management Committee
Meeting Place President Helen McAllister 3844 8464 (H)
Club Meetings are held on the first Tuesday of each month at Vice President Gary Woodward 3245 2695 (H)
the East Brisbane State School, corner of Stanley Street and Secretary Lynn Nicol 3219 6228 (H)
Wellington Road, starting at 7:30pm. No meetings in January.
Treasurer Bob Gur 3345 3971 (H)
There is parking within the school grounds off Wellington Road.
Consult a street directory, as there are a number of one-way Outings Officer Patricia Kolarski 3341 7509 (H)
streets in the area. There is also parking in Wellington Road. Membership Officer Lynne Cavanagh 3376 5053 (H)
Tea/Coffee and cake/biscuits are provided after the meeting. A Editor Richard Kolarski 3341 7509 (H)
coin donation would be appreciated.
Social Secretary Danuta Gur 3345 3971 (H)
Membership Training Officer David Rae 3395 1838 (H)
Before a visitor can go on a walk, he/she must be a Member
(Probationary or Ordinary) or be a member of an affiliated club.
Other Voluntary Positions
Membership of QBW lasts till the end of the Club’s financial
Equipment Officer Trevor Davern 0411 512 202
year which is on the 30th of June each year.
Supper Convenor Margaret Smith 3886 3342 (H)
Probationary Membership
Federation Rep Kerry de Clauzel 3209 7146 (H)
A non-member automatically becomes a Probationary Member
on his/her first walk after signing the waiver form. There is no Federation Rep Richard Kolarski 3341 7509 (H)
fee payable to become a Probationary Member. FMR Rep Frank Bowling 0419 715 719
However a Probationary Member must become an Ordinary FMR Rep Barbara Makepeace 0421 784 783
Member on his/her 2nd walk by filling out a membership form
and paying the membership fee.
Campsite Monitors
Ordinary Membership
Barbara Makepeace Ratatat Hut
A person may become an Ordinary Member by filling out a Mt Barney
membership form and handing the form to a committee member Spicer’s Double Peak Saddle
or walk leader and paying the membership fee.
Kerry de Clauzel Throakban
An Ordinary Member has the right to vote at an AGM or be Lower Portals
elected to a committee position. A Probationary Member has
neither of these rights. Richard Kolarski Running Creek Falls
Christine & Cliff Harrison Mt Superbus
Members of Another Bushwalking Club
Ann Kemp Spicers Peak
Members of another bushwalking club affiliated with the
Queensland Federation of Bushwalking Clubs or another State John Brunott Ballows
Federation are covered by the same Insurance as QBW. It is
not necessary for them to become a member of our Club to go
on our walks. Editors Pic
Equipment for Use by Members

ITEM No Contact Ph No
Compasses 29 Dave Kenrick 3349 8238
EPIRBs 5 Frank Garland 3341 5207
GPS 4 Trevor Davern 0411 512 202
UHF Radios 12 Trevor Davern 0411 512 202
Abseil Gear Trevor Davern 0411 512 202
Back Pack 1 Trevor Davern 0411 512 202
Emergency Lights 6 Richard Kolarski 3341 7509
First Aid Kits 3 Richard Kolarski 3341 7509
Topo Maps 34 Richard Kolarski 3341 7509
Sunmap CD’s 1 Richard Kolarski 3341 7509

Equipment for Sale

Bivy Bags $3.00 each or 2 for $5.00

These bivy bags are 2 metres by 0.9 metres and are bright
orange in colour. They can be used as a pack liner and can All Tied Up.
double as an emergency bivy bag.
Club Polo Shirts $20.00 each
L, M and S size left only New Members
Space Blankets $2.50 each.
Malcolm Crabtree
Light weight and take up no room at all. A must for all walkers!
As at 31/10/2006 we have 114 financial members
Ring Patricia Kolarski on 3341 7509 to purchaser any of the
above.

Page 2 of 8
 Past Committee Members Reports
President’s Report 2006
Over this past year the Queensland Bushwalkers Club Inc
(QBW) has continued to pursue its goals
To encourage all bushwalking and related outdoor recreational
activities
To support and promote preservation and conservation of the
environment
To provide a safe and social club atmosphere for members.
I acknowledge the invaluable efforts and sacrifices of volunteers
in the club who have given so much of their time, effort,
experience, and knowledge, and who have involved in various
committee roles and with leading/organising walks and other
activities. Without the effort of these people nothing could be
achieved.
Our club activities may involve anything within the terms of the
insurance cover that we have. I again encourage members to
come forward with suggestions on certain levels of walks or
other activities they want to involve in. These people may
themselves become volunteers to organise or co-ordinate the
activity with the support and assistance as required from other
experienced members of the club. I am aware that we have
many in our ranks who are willing to help others in this regard.
We now have the exciting project of preparing and delivering
the 2007 Pilgrimage. Many of our members have volunteered to
directly assist in the preparation and also in leading walks. We
have the added benefit of sharing this challenge with like-
minded people from FMR, Ipswich Bushwalkers Club and
Brisbane Catholic Bushwalkers Club.
The Kalbar Showgrounds has been chosen as the venue. I look
forward to the coming months so that we can apply our
knowledge, skills and experience to the task. This also provides
us with a unique opportunity to do something that could be
mutually beneficial for the local community.
I envisage that the coming year will provide QBW with rich and
positive opportunities to further develop the skills and
experience of our individual members, culminating in the best
pilgrimage ever.
Trevor Davern
Secretary’s Report 2006
This is the first year I have held a committee position although I
have been a member for many years.
I have enjoyed my time immensely as secretary and hopefully
have carried out my duties successfully.
The following is the list of the key tasks that I have completed
during the last year. While not arduous, some of these are new
tasks that are required now our club is incorporated:
· Notify the government department, Office of Fair
Trading, via an annual return of our current committee
members and financial details;
· Advise of new members per acceptance letters;
· Issue renewed membership cards for the current year;
· File all inwards and outwards correspondence for
future reference; &
· Attend monthly committee meetings and record
detailed minutes.
It is a pleasure to be part of QBW where there is great
camaraderie and everyone has the best interests of our
environment at heart with their love of bushwalking.
I have enjoyed working with the current committee for the past
12 months and hope the incoming committee finds 2007 just as
rewarding. Next year promises to be a busy and exciting year
for the club with planning and co-hosting the Pilgrimage.
Best wishes to all our members and safe walking.
Lynn Nicol.
Page 3 of 8
Membership Officer’s Report 2006
I have been a member of the Queensland Bushwalkers Club
since 2002 and this was my first year as a committee member
with the role of Membership Officer.
The role of the Membership Officer is not hard or time
consuming and the main tasks are to:
Meet and greet potential new members at Club meetings.
Provide the Club information sheet and event calendar.
Explain the ratings of the walks listed on the back of the event
calendar.
Introduce potential new members to walk leaders.
Membership as at November 2005 was 111 financial members.
Membership as at November 2006 is 112 financial members
I have enjoyed this year working with a great Committee and
wish the incoming Committee all the best and support in 2007
and success in hosting next year’s Pilgrimage.
Lynne Cavanagh
Training Officer’s Report 2006.
QBW training from November 2005 to November 2006 has
been possible because of the unselfish assistance of members
throughout the year. Examples of member assistance include: -
Dave Kenrick and Richard Kolarski for the Navigation Training
Day
Trevor Smith, Trevor Davern and Barbara Makepeace for
abseiling training activities
Richard Kolarski for work on the Training Quiz which appears in
the monthly newsletter.
A First Aid Training Course is to be conducted by St John's
Ambulance on the weekend of 11/11 & 12/11/06. It is vital that
we have people in our club who possess up to date first aid
training and skills as evidenced in the unfortunate accident that
occurred on a walk in the last few weeks.
Thank you to those seven members who have enrolled for the
course.
The Training Officer's position needs to be filled by someone
with general bushwalking skills. If you feel that you have
something to offer in this area, I encourage you to give it a go.
I would like to thank the other Committee members, particularly
Richard Kolarski and Trevor Davern, for their advice and
assistance throughout the year.
Frank Garland
Editor’s Report 2006
The Newsletter has been produced monthly over the last year
with the usual exception of January. Only six members out of
our present membership of 112 have asked for the Newsletter
to be posted out to them. The Newsletter continues to be
available on the Club website for free.
I would like to thank Danuta Gur and Maria Lanari who have
helped in the production of the Newsletter. This has allowed me
to go overseas to do some walking. I had written down detailed
steps necessary to produce the Newsletter for my co-editors
and this has proven successful.
I would like to thank all the members who sent in write-ups and
photos. Also a thank you to all those who made suggestions for
the Newsletter.
My duties also involve looking after the website and email
address. Patricia Kolarski looked after the Club emails while I
was away and I would like to thank her.
However the Club Calendar was unable to be updated on the
website during my absence. I believe the way the Calendar is
set up on the website will need to be simplified so that it will be
possible that anyone would be able to update it.
Richard Kolarski
 Training Quiz
Previous Month’s Questions with the Answers:
What do the terms True North, Grid North and Magnetic North
mean and what do they represent on a topographic map?
What do the terms grid convergence, magnetic declination and
Grid/Magnetic angle represent?
True North, Grid North and Magnetic North are shown
diagrammatically for the centre of the topographic map and a
diagram like above is printed on all topographic maps.
True north (TN) is the direction to the Earth’s geographic North
Pole.
Grid north (GN) is the direction of the vertical grid lines
(eastings) on a topographic map.
Magnetic north (MN) is the direction from any point on the
surface of the earth towards the earth’s north magnetic pole.
Grid convergence is the angular difference between GN and
TN. This varies across the country but its magnitude and
direction east or west of TN is usually less than 2°.
Magnetic declination is the angular difference between TN
and MN.
Grid/Magnetic angle is the angular difference between GN and
MN. It ranges from about 5° west of true north in W estern
Australia to about 15° east of true north in easter n Australia.
Grid North is used in preference to True North for map reading
purposes.
Because the position of the north magnetic pole moves slightly
from year to year, the grid/magnetic angle and magnetic
declination will vary by a small amount each year. In using a
map for accurate navigation, magnetic variation can be
important, particularly if the map is several years old.
Next Month’s Question:
The question for next month is:
How do you orientate a map using a compass?
Coming Events
Nepal Himalaya Trek March/April 2007
I am organizing a small private 23-day trek to the Everest
region March/April 2007. We will be walking to Gokyo, Kala
Pattar and Tengboche.
For further information contact Gail Cibilic. Ph: 55468 189
or e-mail gcibilic@hotmail.com
From the Editor
A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.
Just a reminder that there will be no Newsletter in January. The
next Newsletter will be in February 2007.
This Newsletter carries on the tradition of having an extra 2
pages of various degrees of funniness for your reading
pleasure.
Page 4 of 8
Past Walks
Upper Ballanjui Falls 22 July 2006
This is a pleasant track walk at Binna Burra that follows the
Border Track then Shipstern before heading off towards the
falls. Unfortunately there is no link-up with Lower Ballunjui so
walkers have to retrace their steps. All up we walked about 12
kms, a medium length walk through rainforest and open
sclerophyll forest.
Upper Ballanjui
Ten of us set off under an overcast sky. Our first stop was for
morning tea at a lovely waterfall just off the main track beyond
the Daves Creek turnoff. Who should turn up but Redencion,
out on a private walk. We then headed off to admire the view
from the top of Ballunjui Falls. There was some haze and a bit
of cloud around but still it was worth the effort. We could see
down towards the bottom of the falls but couldn’t get close
enough to the edge to see into the pool below.
Next we followed the side track to Guraigumai Rock. Not much
of a view here because of the cloud and surrounding
vegetation. We found a bit of a clearing along the track in the
sun for our lunch break. A cool breeze got us up and going
again for the walk out to the cars. Afternoon tea in Canungra
finished off an enjoyable day.
Many thanks to all who came, especially the drivers. Patricia
Mt Maroon 23 July 2006
The lucky thirteen of us gathered at Beaudesert and after
sorting out transport, began the drive to the start of the walk.
It was a cloudy day but no rain was expected. We began along
the track to go up Mt Maroon the normal “tourist” way but
quickly turned off and followed a small foot pad which
contoured round the mountain. This trek was to ascend Mt
Maroon along a northerly ridge.
After crossing a couple of dry creek beds the track ascended a
ridge to the cliff line. We were all huffing and puffing when we
reached the cliff line and quickly decided to have morning tea.
There was a large cave nearby but due to time restraints it was
decided to leave it for another day.
After morning tea we began a slow contour along the cliff line to
get to a ridge where we could get to the mountain plateau.
There was no track available now and we had to find our own
path over the large bundles of boulders in the way. Once we
were on the correct ridge we pushed through some regrowth
after a forest fire and made it to the rocky plateau. There we
were rewarded with magnificent views in all directions.
We continued along the plateau to a high point. We could see
people scrambling on the true summit of Mt Maroon to the
south but we had our own minor peak to ourselves. We had a
leisurely lunch in the shade of some large boulders before
coming down our peak to join the main track.
It was then a steep scramble down the narrow gully back to our
cars. We met other bushwalkers from NSW who were on a day
walk on the way down and had a chat with them. Afternoon tea
at Maccas finished the day.
Many thanks to Maria for putting on this alternate way up Mt
Maroon. Richard
Border Track 30 July 2006
Border Track – here we come!
We certainly didn’t expect the response we received when we
posted this walk for the second time. Lucky to get 6 on the list
last time.
It was decided that we wouldn’t do the walk if we didn’t have at
least 8, so we were taken off guard when we did the count and
had 18 registered. At the last minute one person had to cancel.
Border to Border with People
The plan was that everyone would meet at Canungra and then
do a car shuffle. A little last minute tweaking and finally all was
right. Bob started off with his group to Green Mountains
(O’Reilly’s) and I took off for Binna Burra.
The day was just perfect. An early start and three new people in
our group – welcome – Paul, Marlene and Barbara.
The first part from Binna Burra is a very gradual climb. The
track passes through some delightful rainforest with some
spectacular views over the Gold Coast.
Before we knew it we had passed the Daves Creek circuit
turnoff and were headed toward the next junction - Mt Hobwee
Circuit. At this junction we had a small rest to catch our breath.
Onwards – now all of this next part was a bit new to me not
having been further than the Hobwee/Araucaria turnoff. So
what was ahead?
More great rainforest and in some areas the track was muddy
and narrow.
Just when I thought we wouldn’t see Bob’s group there they
were. So of course time for another break. It was apparent that
Bob’s group was a little faster and a bit further down the track
but that didn’t matter. The happy faces in the photo said it all.
Making sure we swapped the right keys, off we went again.
The next half… was just as good as the first half. A gentleman
who passed us at one point was on his return leg. Must have
gotten up with the birds.
The Antarctic beech trees were fantastic and of course we had
to take a couple of photos here. Before we knew it we were
treading the formed track near Green Mountains. What a sight.
Cars located and off to Canungra to meet the other group.
Coffee never tasted better. Just made it – as the Outpost was
closing…...and some had to have takeaway.
What a great walk and I look forward to doing it again next time
but starting from Green Mountains end.
All in all a great day - a great walk. Thanks - Bob and Danuta
Interesting Fact:
When the Tweed volcano was active, 21-22 million years ago,
there was a subsidiary vent. This filled with lava which solidified
before it could be expelled from the vent.
Over millions of years the actual vent eroded away, leaving the
harder intrusive rhyolite plug which we know as – Egg Rock.
Page 5 of 8
Mt Cordeaux - Bare Rock 27 August 2006
The weather couldn’t have been kinder this day. Just great.
Our meeting place was Aratula rest area – everyone was early
and eager to go. Up the mountain went the small convoy.
At the crest carpark there was a last minute check and chat.
The first part of the track “zigzags” up the mountain under a
canopy of rainforest.
Mt Cordeaux-Bare Rock
As the track climbed steadily upwards we were rewarded with
some breathtaking views. Towards the lookout we saw the
open mine shaft that had been cut into the cliff-face by gold
prospectors many years ago. Views from Mt Cordeaux lookout
were spectacular and a great place for morning tea – a little
windy but not bad.
Incredible red flowers (giant spear lilies) dotted the mountain
and the track ahead. We diverted to take in Morgan’s Lookout,
however, views were very limited.
The track leading to Bare Rock passes through rainforest and
ends on a rocky knoll with another spectacular view over the
valley. A few minutes of well earned rest to enjoy the surrounds.
A good day for photography and David Rae hopefully got some
good shots.
The walk down the track was much easier, and just when I
thought it wouldn’t happen there you have it a snake coming
across the track. I noted that it had a nice round lump in his
belly just before he turned around and went back into the
bushes. We returned via the Fassifern Lookout track. Well
worth it.
Now what would a walk be like without the obligatory cuppa at
the local café. Well done, Lorraine. Bob & Danuta
PS Looking through the “Wildlife of Greater Brisbane” we found
that our “friend” was possibly a rough scaled snake.
Editor’s Note-This snake is venomous and aggressive if
harassed. Best left alone!
Somerset Trail 10 September 2006
At 0845 at Mt Mee State Forest picnic grounds, it was cold, very
wet, thunder and twelve shivering people grouped under a few
umbrellas waiting perhaps for the extreme weather conditions
to go quickly.
However not all walkers were adequately equipped for a wet,
soggy, and low cloud walk. So after interactive discussion it
deemed inappropriately unsafe and unpleasant to go ahead
much as we were looking forward to the day. Off to the Samford
Plaza coffee shop for most walkers to dream of another activity
or simply go home.
It is greatly appreciated to those who ventured to Mt Mee in this
unusual weather (the drought they say). For me it was worth the
trip just to say ‘hello’ and catch up quickly with friends.
A big thank you to all. Christine.
Mackay Hinterland Great Walk 6-12 August 2006
Sunday 6 Aug
Richard and I were on time to meet Margaret, Noelene and
Maria at the Mackay airport on the Sunday morning. After a
quick city and harbour tour and lunch in the sun at the
Gooseponds, we headed out through the Pioneer Valley and up
to Eungella.
Mackay Marauders
After a quick look at the view down the valley from the Chalet,
we arrived at the Fern Flat Campground only about twenty
minutes before Gerry, who had driven up from Brisbane. It was
about a 600m uphill then downhill walk into the actual camp
and we were to walk it many times over the next six days.
A lot of work has been done to the picnic area since we were
here last; new toilet block and a pleasant grassed area with
tables. The campground also has a new toilet. The ranger lives
on-site so everything was clean and tidy.
Platypus
Up went the tents then off we went looking for platypus in
Broken River. I have never been disappointed and, sure
enough, just about every time we went looking, any time of day,
we were sure of a good sighting.
Monday 7 Aug
Today, with a short car shuffle, we walked Day 1 of the Great
Walk. This is only a short 10km easy track through rainforest
with views down into the Pioneer Valley – very pleasant. In the
afternoon we drove to Eungella Dam. Sadly, it is only 17% full
and cows were grazing between the lower end of the boat ramp
and the water’s edge. Everything is very dry on this western
side of the Great Divide.
Tuesday 8 Aug
The nights are cold, 3 degrees by Noelene’s thermometer, with
heavy dew and much condensation inside the tents.
This morning we did a longer car shuffle, leaving a vehicle at
the end of the Day 2 section of the Great Walk. Once again we
were walking in rainforest along a well-maintained track.
Unfortunately, the last 3km were along the dirt road. Day 3 also
has a long road section.
Wednesday 9 Aug
Our overnight walk to Mt Dalrymple began today with a 20km
drive to the starting point. The track is extremely well marked
with excessive amounts of tape every few metres. The track
has three long steep ups and downs with a few shorter ones in
between. This took its toll on two of the walkers who decided to
set up camp early on a flat area along the track. The rest of us
soldiered on.
Exhaustion overtook me about 500m before the end so Richard
kindly bounded ahead, dumped his pack at the top, came back
and carried mine into the campsite.
Page 6 of 8
The view from the rock slabs on top of Mt Dalrymple is a
fantastic 360 degrees. At night the lights of Mackay could be
seen. It was a bit windy and cool on top so no one elected to
camp out.
Possum
Enough flat space to put up a tent was a bit difficult to find but
we managed with only three tents. Richard later went exploring
and found more space further down below the summit. A
possum came to visit in the evening but made no effort to
search out our food. Apparently visitors are so rare that they
haven’t learned to include human food in their diet.
Thursday 10 Aug
Up bright and early for a relaxed breakfast, pack up and a final
climb up to the top for the view, last minute photos, and then off
we went back to find the rest of our group. We had morning tea
at their campsite then we all trudged up and down and up and
down back to the car with a quick stop for lunch near the end of
the walk.
We stopped for a look at the view from Peases Lookout on our
drive back to Eungella. With a little difficulty we found a coffee
shop for the afternoon tea ritual. And what a place it was. The
owner, an artist from Germany, had a shop selling jewelry and
other bits and pieces. She had constructed and planted out a
large garden with paths wandering along, all her own work. The
toilet was a work of art, if one could actually fit in there, that is.
Noelene has a photo that shows it better than words could.
Back to Fern Flat Campground to put our tents up again for one
last night. We had company for the first time with a father and
his three children and another couple. Still plenty of room for us,
though.
Friday 11 Aug
Final pack-up and walk back to the cars and we headed down
to Finch Hatton Gorge. The track is much improved since last I
was there and we made good time up to Fire Wheel Falls, even
taking heaps of time for photos and exploring along the way.
An early lunch back at the picnic ground where we had left
Richard, busy rearranging his gear in his pack. Gerry left us
here, heading to Sarina then on to Rockhampton the next day,
making it a safe, steady trip back home.
We headed for Cape Hillsborough National Park. We had
booked a campsite but on arrival, the dirt was packed so hard
from campervans, etc driving on it, that our pegs bent. So, we
decided to have a bit of comfort and moved into a cabin. Plenty
of room for the five of us to spread out our stuff and get
organized for the next phase of our trip.
Dinner at the restaurant at the campground was a welcome
change from dried pasta. Yummy desert was a special treat.
Saturday 12 Aug
No rush this morning as the flight taking our three companions
home didn’t leave until late in the afternoon. After breakfast a
shower of rain sent us back into the restaurant for an early
morning tea. We finally packed and drove back to Mackay with
plenty of time for exploring the town and window shopping.
Our party finally split up with Margaret, Noelene and Maria
leaving us at the airport. Richard and I then headed north to
Townsville for the start of his Hinchinbrook trip, but that is
another story. Patricia
 Some Things To Think About What a Difference In 30-Years
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most 1973: Long hair
people die of natural causes. 2003: Longing for hair
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a 1973: KEG
weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of
the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. 2003: EKG
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to 1973: Acid rock
buy a replacement. 2003: Acid reflux
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 1973: Growing pot
There are two kinds of pedestrians --the quick and the dead. 2003: Growing pot belly
Life is sexually transmitted. 1973: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 2003: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the 1973: Killer weed
fool who said: "Quit while you're ahead?"
2003: Weed killer
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
1973: The Grateful Dead
Always get the last word in: Apologize.
2003: Dr. Kevorkian
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. 1973: Going to a new, hip joint
Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but 2003: Receiving a new hip joint
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the 1973: Rolling Stones
stairs. 2003: Kidney Stones
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals 1973: Being called into the principal's office
dying of nothing.
2003: Calling the principal's office
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days
no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? 1973: Screw the system
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. 2003: Upgrade the system
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars 1973: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? 2003: Children begging you to get their heads shaved!
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the 1973: Passing the drivers' test
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2003: Passing the vision test
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the 1973: Whatever
first. 2003: Depends
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?
Employee Of The Month
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
employee performance evaluations in a large US corporation:
attention to criticism.
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
– and continues to dig.
AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
2. His men would follow him anywhere – but only out of morbid
You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here curiosity.
legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for
as long as 10 to 15 years. Now, compare that to 3. I would not allow this employee to breed.
Blockbuster...You are two days late with a video and those 4. This employee is really not so much as a ‘has been’ but more
people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of of a ‘wont be’.
immigration 5. This employee works well when under constant supervision –
like a rat caught in a trap.
A Bear Walks Into A Bar
6. When she opens her mouth it seems it is only to change feet.
A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with
his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and 7. He would be out of depth in a car park puddle.
says: "We don’t serve beer to bears." 8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a 9. He sets low personal standards – and constantly fails to
beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don’t achieve them.
serve beer to belligerent bears in bars."
10. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
The bear very angry now, says, "If you don’t serve me a beer, I
am going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." Miscellaneous Terms
The bartender says "Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is
bully bears in bars". now growing in the middle.
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent,
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
bully bears who are on drugs." The bear says, "I am not on
drugs." (You're going to love this) MYTH: A female moth.
The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate." SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

Page 7 of 8
 Advertisements
Here are some ads reportedly put in the paper.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the
family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served
by waitresses in appetizing forms.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra
pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully
by hand.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable
that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
We build bodies that last a lifetime.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,
you'll never go anywhere again.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in
variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to
follow.
Men vs Women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to
understand her at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and
she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, empty the garbage, and
get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman knows all about her children, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
Page 8 of 8
Seeing Double
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) Bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at the dove it dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
English As a Crazy Language
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in
England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth,
beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
People recite at a play and play at a recital. You ship by truck
and send cargo by ship. You have noses that run and feet that
smell.
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill in a form by
filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race
at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but
when the lights are out, they are invisible.
More Miscellaneous Terms
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of
today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character
lines.