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SStrengthen trengthen PProfessional rofes sional NNegotiation egotiation SSkkills ills tthrough hrough EEmotion al motion al IIntelligence
SStrengthen
trengthen PProfessional
rofes sional NNegotiation
egotiation SSkkills
ills
tthrough
hrough EEmotion al
motion al IIntelligence (
n telligence ( EEII ))
A Presentation for the:
A Presentation for the:
Sloan School of M anagement
Sloan School of M anagement
by:
b y:
CCharles
harles
JJ..
WWolfe
olfe Associates,
Associates, LLC
LLC
www.cjwolfe.com - 860-658-2737
www.cjwolfe .com - 860-658-2737
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Learning O bjectives Learning Objectives Understand EI & the 4 Branch Model. nn Understand E I
Learning O bjectives
Learning Objectives
Understand EI & the 4 Branch Model.
nn
Understand E I & th e 4 Branch Model.
Use EI to improve negotiations
nn
Use EI to imp ro ve ne gotiations
Learn about yourse lves & other
nn
Learn about yourse lves & other
group members.
group members.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Emotional Intelligence in the Emotional Intelligence in the WWorkplace orkplace What is EI? What is EI?
Emotional Intelligence in the
Emotional Intelligence in the
WWorkplace orkplace
What is EI?
What is EI?
Who are we & how are w e connected to EI ?
Who are we & how ar e we connected to EI ?
Why is EI important to negotiations?
Why is EI importa nt to negotiations?
How can you improve negotiations
How can you improve negotiations
performance with EI?
performance with EI?
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
VISION An Emotionally Intelligent Fir m As a firm : Become world class, known for adding
VISION
An Emotionally
Intelligent Fir m
As a firm : Become world class,
known for adding value to
people’s organizational and
personal lives through the
teaching and application of the
four branch model of Emotional
Intelligence.
As individuals: Make a
meaningful positive difference
in the lives of the people we
consult to, work with & learn
from.
Website www.cjwolfe.com E-mail cjwolfe@cjwolfe.com
Phone (860) 658-2737
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Peter Salovey and Jack Mayer proposed that we ca n achieve greater results if we consciously
Peter Salovey and Jack Mayer proposed that
we ca n achieve greater results if we
consciously and intelligently manage our
emotions.
EI is the ability to identify the emotions in
ourselves and others, to plan for the use of
emotions, to understand the origin of these
emotions, and to manage emotions effectively!
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Testing emotional inte lligence - Identifying Emotions • anger • sadness • surprise • happiness •
Testing emotional inte lligence
- Identifying Emotions
• anger
• sadness
• surprise
• happiness
fear
• disgust
How does this person feel? And why is the ability to recognize emotions
important to negotiations?
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Negotiation Strategies and EI Are you aware of your present mood and the mood of the
Negotiation Strategies and EI
Are you aware of your present mood and the mood of the
people you are negotiating with? Identify
Is the mood desirable? Use
Why are you feeling this way? Understand
How would you like to feel? How would you like others to
feel? Identify & Use
What ideas do you have to change the situation if it
requires changing to proceed with the negotiations?
Understand & Manage
Make the changes. Manage
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
The The MMayer- ayer- Salovey Model Salovey Model ooff Emotio na l In telligence Emotio na
The
The MMayer-
ayer- Salovey Model
Salovey Model
ooff
Emotio na l In telligence
Emotio na l In telligence
&&
MSCE IT
MSCEIT
(Mayer
(Mayer SSalovey
alovey Caruso Emotional
Caruso Emotional
Intelligence Test)
Intelligence Test)
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Ability Based Approach to Ability Based A pproach to Emotio nal Intelligence Emotio nal Intelligence ••
Ability Based Approach to
Ability Based A pproach to
Emotio nal Intelligence
Emotio nal Intelligence
•• EI EI as as an an ability ability or or form form of of
intelligence
intelligence
•• Combines Combines cog cog nition nition and and
eemmootio tionn
Cognition
&
Emotion
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
EI defined (Mayer-Salovey EI defined (Mayer- Salovey)) Emotional intelligence is ““ the ability to Emotional intelligence
EI defined (Mayer-Salovey
EI defined (Mayer-
Salovey))
Emotional intelligence is ““ the ability to
Emotional intelligence is
the ability to
perceive emotions, to a ccess and g enerate
perceive emotions, to a ccess and g enerate
emotions so as to assist thought; to
emotions so as to assist thought; to
understand emotions and emotional
understand emotions and emotional
knowledge and to reflectively regulate
knowledge and to reflectively regulate
emotions so as to promote emotional and
emotions so as to promote emotional and
intellectual intellectual growth growth ””
John
John D.
D. Mayer
Mayer && Peter
Peter Salovey
Salovey , 1997
, 1997
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
EI defined EI defined (cjwolfe ( cjwolfe,, 2000) 2000) Or m o re simply put…… Or
EI defined
EI defined (cjwolfe
( cjwolfe,, 2000)
2000)
Or m o re simply put……
Or m ore simply put
How are you feeling?
How are you feeling?
How is she or he feeling?
How is she or he feeling?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want other(s) to feel?
How do you want other(s) to feel?
What is causing current feelings?
What is causing current feelings?
What will change them?
What will change them?
What are you willing and able to do to manage
What are you willing and able to do to manage
your own and others’’ eemmoottiioonnss??
your own and others
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations EI can help faci
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
EI can help faci litate cooperation by
EI can help faci litate cooperation by
nn
paying attention to past, present,
paying attention to past, present,
and anticipated future feelings
and anticipated future feelings
•• Emotionally intelligent negotiators think
Emotionally intelligent negotiators think
with emotions a nd about emotions
with emotions a nd about emotions
throughout the negotiation process
throughout the ne gotiation process
•• By understanding ourselves & others, we
By understanding ourselves & others, we
can become more effective negotiators
can become more effective negotiators
•• Decision making is more intelligent when
Decision making is more intelligent when
we use our head (cognition) and our heart
we use our head (cognition) and our heart
(em (emotions) otions)
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Plans, strategies, tactics &
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Plans, strategies, tactics & countermeasures
Plans, strategies, tactics & countermeasures
nn
•• The initial plann ing b eg ins with
The initial planning beg ins with
identifying whether the parties involved
identifying whethe r the parties involved
in negotiations are feeling cooperative or
in negotiations are feeling cooperative or
cocommppetitive. etitive.
•• Strategies are based on moving all
Strategies are based on moving all
negotiation partners towards feeling
negotiation partners towards feeling
cooperative to one another.
cooperative to one another.
•• Tactics are often required to demonstrate
Tactics are often required to demonstrate
an ability to be competitive without
an ability to be competitive without
escalating iss u es.
escalating issue s.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Plans, strategies, tactics, and
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Plans, strategies, tactics, and
Plans, strategies, tactics, and
nn
countermeasure s
countermeasure s
•• Counter measures are triggered by the
Counter measures are triggered by the
ot
othe
herr sside
ide’’s co mpetitive tactics or
s co mpetitive tactics or
cooperative strate gies.
cooperative strate gies.
Competitive tactics need to be handled
Competitive tactics need to be handled
nn
delicately with countermeasures that indicate a
delicately with countermeasures that indicate a
willingness to be competitive by a preference
willingness to be competitive by a preference
for
for coopera
cooperation.
tion.
Cooperative tactics should be met with
Cooperative tactics should be met with
nn
countermeasures considered of equal value by
countermeasures considered of equal value by
the
the other
other sside.
ide.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Aspirations and Op ening
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Aspirations and Op ening Moves
Aspirations and Opening Moves
nn
•• Aspiration levels are what each party in a
Aspiration levels are what each party in a
negotiation aspire to a chieve. Opening
negotiation aspire to a chieve. Opening
offers that are very distant from what the
offers that are very distant from what the
other party wants are often viewed as
other party wants are often viewed as
competitive tactics.
competitive tactics.
•• For an opening offer of this type to be
For an opening offer of this type to be
experienced by the other party as
experienced by the other party as
cooperative, the p arty making the offer
cooperative, th e party making the offer
needs to provide a reason for the offer
needs to provide a reason for the offer
that will appe ar logical from the other
that will appe ar logical from the other
sides perspective
sides perspective .
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Aspirations and Opening Moves
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Aspirations and Opening Moves
nn
Aspirations and Opening Moves
•• If If the the other other party party feels feels that that the the opening opening
is legitimate, it will often cause the m to
is legitimate, it will often cause the m to
lower their aspiratio n level.
lower their aspiratio n level.
•• If If the the other other party party doe doe s s not not believe believe the the
explanation, it will likely cause them to
explanation, it will likely cause them to
feel insulted resultin g in polarization and
feel insulted resulting in polarization and
unwillingness to compromise.
unwillingness to compromise.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations ßß AAppro pproaachch An
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
ßß AAppro pproaachch
An emotionally intelligent approach to
An emotionally intelligent approach to
••
negotiations requires understanding
negotiations requires understanding
how you want the other party to feel
how you want the other party to feel
and what it w ill take to create that
and what it w ill take to create that
feeling. feeling.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Aspiration Levels and Resistant
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Aspiration Levels and Resistant Points
Aspiration Levels and Resistant Points
nn
••
Resistant Points are what people on both sides feel are
Resistant Points are what people on both sides feel are
the worst offers they are willing to accept. For example,
the worst offers they are willing to accept. For example,
I am selling my car for $4700 which is my aspiration but
I am selling my car for $4700 which is my aspiration but
my resistant point is $4200.
my resistant point is $4200.
••
If I end up selling my car below $4200, I will feel like a
If I end up selling my car below $4200, I will feel like a
failure unless the other party has found a way to make
failure unless the other party has found a way to make
me feel better about the deal. For example, if the other
me feel better about the deal. For example, if the other
party shares with me that he has suffered a job loss
party shares with me that he has suffered a job loss
recently but he had hoped to buy a car for his college
recently but he had hoped to buy a car for his college
age son who has just been found to be cancer free after
age son who has just been found to be cancer free after
five years. He tells me he realizes my car is more
five years. He tells me he realizes my car is more
valuable, but he would appreciate it if I would sell it to
valuable, but he would appreciate it if I would sell it to
him for his son at $4,000 since it is a good car and h e
him for his son at $4,000 since it is a good car and he
wants the best he c an afford and $4,000 is all he has. I
wants the best he c an afford and $4,000 is all he has. I
would sell it to him and feel very good about myself and
would sell it to him and feel very good about myself and
wwhhaatt II hhaadd ddoonnee!"!"
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations Aspiration Leve ls and
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
Aspiration Leve ls and Resista nt
nn
Aspiration Leve ls and Resista nt
Points
Points
•• If If the the person person buying buying the the car car has has
found another way to have me feel
found another way to have me feel
successful I will likely be glad to
successful I will likely be glad to
sell the car fo r a lesser price.
sell the car fo r a lesser price.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations ßß Approach Approach An
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
ßß Approach
Approach
An emotionally intelligent approach to
An emotionally intelligent approach to
••
negotiations requires understanding how you
negotiations requires understanding how you
want to feel and how you want the other party
want to feel and how you want the other party
to feel and what it will take to create these
to feel and what it will take to create these
feelings. feelings.
How you wanted other to feel
How you wanted other to feel
Happy and proud he could meet his son ’’ss need
Happy and proud he could m eet his son
need
nn
How I wanted to feel
How I wanted to feel
Satisfied that I cou ld success fully sell my car
Satisfied that I cou ld success fully sell my car
nn
How a mutually satisfying deal got created
How a mutually satisfying deal got created
Based on the circumstance I felt making a
Based on the circumstance I felt making a
nn
meaningful difference was more important than the
meaningful difference was more important than the
$200.00 difference in my selling price.
$200.00 difference in my selling price.
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations The key to emotionally
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
The key to emotionally intelligent negotiating is to
The key to emotionally intelligent negotiating is to
nn
know what you want and what the other party wants
know what you want and what the other party wants
and how each of you feel about every aspect of the
and how each of you feel about every aspect of the
negotia negotiation. tion.
There are times in competitive negotiations where
There are times in competitive negotiations where
nn
you want the other party to feel fear. For example in
you want the other party to feel fear. For example in
an internal negotia tion in an organization you may
an internal negotia tion in an organization you may
feel a party has wronged you and yet you still have to
feel a party has wronged you and yet you still have to
work with them. You may want them to feel a form
work with them. You may want them to feel a form
of painful consequence so they do not do it again.
of painful consequence so they do not do it again.
However, even when a negotiation has started off
However, even when a negotiation has started off
nn
competitively and has some negative consequences,
competitively and has some negative consequences,
if negotiations are to be ongoing both parties should
if negotiations are to be ongoing both parties should
search for mutually satisfactory outcomes that result
search for mutually satisfactory outcomes that result
from creative thinking and creative feeling!
from creative thinking and creative feeling!
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com
Using EI In Ne gotiations Using E I In N e gotiations The questions you should
Using EI In Ne gotiations
Using E I In N e gotiations
The questions you should be asking in your
The questions you should be asking in your
nn
preparation and throughout the actual negotiation
preparation and throughout the actual negotiation
are: are:
IDENTIFY EMOTIONS : How am I feeling? How is the
IDENTIFY EMOTIONS : How am I feeling? How is the
nn
other
other person
person feeling?
feeling?
USE
USE EMOTIONS
EMOTIONS : How do I want to feel? How do I
: How do I want to feel? How do I
nn
want
want the
the other
other toto feel?
feel?
UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS : What is causing the
UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS : What is causing the
nn
current feelings and what might I say or do to create
current feelings and what might I say or do to create
the feelings I want for myself and for the
the feelings I want for myself and for the other(s
other(s)?)?
MANAGE EMOTIONS : What am I able to about it?
MANAGE EMOTION S : What am I able to about it?
nn
What am I willing to do about it?
What am I willing to do a bout it?
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
web:www.cjwolfe.com
web:www.cjwolfe.com