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$1,653,750

VOLUME TWO

0 4 . 2 5 .13

I S S U E 17

There's an awareness of fashion in this country, and it's not limited to gay people.

Calvin Klein

Who are Y O U wearing this season?


Fashion - Page 6

Debut: Frankie "The Onion" Onion | We Ruin Movies | Being Bubba

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S / S A N M A R C O S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

ADVERTISE

WITH US
830.483.9563

table

of

contents

PHOTO CREDITS Cover: Chase Cochran Fashion: Amanda Cochran Sports: Vance Mullins

Introducing Frankie The Onion Onion.

1st Word
Stuf f to do. Go do stuf f.

3
6 8
11
13
Closing Date: 5.26.13 QC: sm Trim: 5.06x11.31 Bleed: none Live: 4.81x11.06
Brand: BLL/SBL Item #:PLB201310433 Job/Order #: 249290

Calendar

Fashion
erce.

The Landmark gets


STAFF / CONTACT Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds Director of Distribution Chase Cochran Art Director Kayla Wallace Editorial: news@txcitizen.com Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

7
10

Help Wanted
Get yo job on.

Diversions

Karaoke, trivia, pool tourneys, and such.

Citizen Soundcheck
The ONLY guide of its kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!

Sound Out Of Town


Because Austin and San Antonio occasionally have live music too.

One copy (per person) of TX Citizen is available free of charge, with the prior written consent of TX Citizen required to remove multiple copies from distribution points. Multiple copies and back issues are available at TX Citizen offices for $2.50 each.

Spoilers

We see movies so you dont have to.

Advice from Uncle Esel


Got a problem? You will..

12
14

Look, Mommy! Daddys in the paper!

Ask a Mexican

Gustavo of fends in two languages.

The Beer Hunter


When Mitchell drinks, we all learn something.

Sports
All original content is copyright TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published every Thursday.

Beltsandin'.

TX CITIZEN 1111 N. Walnut Avenue New Braunfels, TX 78130 830.483.9563

Citizen on Tour
People go places and take us with em! Kneel before the 2013 champions!

Best of the Wurst


Being Bubba

Publication: NB Citizen

The County s Most Wanted

Cheer wine. Whatever that is.

15

2013 Anheuser-Busch, Bud Light Lime Lime-A-Rita and Straw-Ber-Rita Flavored Malt Beverages (Flavored Ale in OR & TX), St. Louis, MO. For more information about our products call 1-800-Dial Bud, (1-800-342-5283) or visit us at www.budlightlime.com 6% only in ME, NH, TN. 6% and 8% in other markets.

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY

4 2

AD SALES 830.483.9563

Corporate Welfare Report

Although hes no longer with The Scooter Store, former Store VP in charge of

1 WORD
ST
a Federal Tax ID for that. MIKE need Oh dear. REYNOLDS In any case, Trevor Bird of Gruene Harley-Davidson

ASSISTANCE IN LIVING CO.

Chuck Baxleys

W I N N E R ! B E S T TAT T O O S T U D I O !

830.832.2033 2553 FM 1044

Landscaping Tree Services Fencing Rock Work Estate Mgmt Shredding Site Clean-Up & Hauling

WITH

Which it doesnt. They mos def

Medicare Compliance, Tim Zipp, is still President of the Citys 4-B Board. That entity is currently embroiled in a lawsuit against the Store for nearly $4 million in taxpayer largess that the Store was given as part of deal to keep them in New Braunfels instead of picking up stakes and moving to San Marcos, which they had threatened to do if they didnt get nearly $4 million from the NB taxpayers. You know, because the Store cares about the community and whatnot. Anyway, you know by now that the 4-B has been operating without a Federal Tax ID number, and up until now you may have been thinking Big deal. What could they possibly need a Federal Tax ID number for? Well, aside from properly filing taxes, it means they arent a legitimate corporation, even though they have the word Corporation right there in their name. The full name of the Board is the New Braunfels Industrial Development Corporation. See? This is about to become a problem, because if the City expects to get that nearly $4 million back, theyre going to have to win in court and the fact that they dont have their ducks in a row means that they (we) just might have to eat that cash. Oops. Weve been told by District Four

sits on the 4-B Board, and last week, during the Treasurers report, he asked to see the Boards phantom Tax ID. He was immediately Tommy-gunned by First Assistant City Attorney Frankie The Onion Onion, who told him that since the Tax ID wasnt on the agenda, that he couldnt bring it up during the financial discussion portion of the evening, and that if he wanted to discuss it hed have to wait another month to do so. Uh oh. Now keep in mind that the Boards Directors are legally responsible for everything the Board does. And that Trevor Bird was shut down for trying to make sure that the Board hes on is in compliance with the law. This is like a person you dont know asking you to carry something on board an airplane with an admonition not to look inside the bag. This is what Bird is up against. Well have to wait and see how this plays out, but man, I wouldnt want to be Sandy Nolte right now. As for Tim Zipp, there are two ways his continued presence on 4-B could go. The question is where his loyalties lay. If its with his old company, hell be trying to get the 4-B used to idea that they just arent going to be able to collect on that debt. If its with the taxpayers of this community, hell be using what he knows about The Store to make sure we get paid back. Again, were going to have to wait and see on this one, however the Zipp conflict of interest thing just gets worse. The idea that hes still on 4-B speaks volumes, but thats par for the course in Texas Most Corrupt City. Enjoy.

HOT BroccoliSOUPS! Loaded & Cheese, Po & dont tato Soup our Chil forget i! YUMM M! 118 Common St.
830.387.4466

www.olivesitalianmarket.com 8:30am to 2:30pm

Monday - Saturday

breakfast & lunch!

Join us for

215 S. Seguin Downtown NB 830.620.9188

STALK us
/TXCitizen
24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar Live Entertainment - Pool Tables

PAUL J. SMITH
Attorney at Law
Board Certified in Criminal Law Texas Board of Legal Specialization 651 S. Walnut Suite D #228 New Braunfels, Tx 78130

367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

BLACK WHALE PUB


CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE!

830-832-1534
www.pauljsmithlaw.com smithpaulj@msn.com

TXCITIZEN.COM
Karaoke Thursday & Sunday DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday

Joel Hofmann Band 9pm Omar & the Howlers 9pm


SINCE 1933

Friday

Saturday

www.rileystavern.com

Texas' First Bar After Prohibition!

TAVERN

Coucilmember Sandy Nolte that 4-B does indeed have a Federal Tax ID number, but she declined to tell us what it was or who told her that they have one. Weve heard from other City Officials that 4-B does not have a Federal Tax ID number, but that they dont need one. Which is funny, because according to the States 4-B rules, the Board is supposed to have its own bank account. TXCITIZEN.COM

Massage | Waxing | Facials | Makeup Relax with us! We take pride in treating every guest with only the absolute very best service.

Mothers day special $29 1hr Swedish Massage


Patsy Neely,
Skincare Therapist

(when a 1hr facial or more is purchased at regular price. Limit one per person, exp. 3/12/2013)

Licensed Massage Therapist/Owner

April Martinez,

Continued on next page.

1528 E Common St, Ste 10, New Braunfels | 830.608.9111


3

Make up for something horrible you did once. Continued from previous page. We got this from TX Citizen fan and uberCity Council Report dogsitter Karla Roch:

VOTED BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!


Knives, Holsters, Purses, Wallets, Belts & MORE!

After the beating City Council took for denying the downtown outdoor food court, (see The War on Cool in the 2-7-13 issue on the TX Citizen, online at txcitizen.com), it seems they might have decided to embrace

Ok folks here is your chance to do a good thing for a family with

a single mom who lost all of their fire is suspected to be an electrical one at no fault to her. and she owns Doggone

COUNTRY STORE Restaurant Open Tuesday - Sunday


WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET
MADE FROM SCRATCH DAILY! Pan Dolce, Pasteries, Tortillas, Empanadas, Cakes, Donuts,Twists, Cookies, Strudels & French Bread
NEW CITY

belongings in a fire last Friday. The

197 S. Seguin Ave 830.629.0540


E COM RE! O EXPL

their collective inner hipster last Monday, voting unanimously to allow Pour Haus customers to bring their pooches with them

Her name is Stephanie Pollard

Gruene Flea
Antique Mall
SUNDAY TUESDAY-SATURDAY

The

to the Haus massive patio for Giant Jenga and bean bag tossin. Council also voted to allow pedicabs to cart downtown visitors both this way and that. Good times, all of it. (Both items will need to be voted on one more time, but as these both passed their first reading 7-0, it would be shocking if four or more council members were to change their

Green

Mobile Dog Wash. She lost her cat and birds in the fire, but Officer able to save her two dogs! She has been offered clothing, food, etc.

Heath from Animal Control was

10:00 am till 6:00 pm

12:00 pm till 6:00 pm


BAKERY

311 FM 306 830-226-7179


FM 30 6
35

although at this point she really started with a place to live. Can person who has and would do the same for a stranger.

needs enough money just to get

830.620.7128 Hours: 6am-9pm

1304 West San Antonio St

minds before the next meeting.)

There was also a bit of weird during the meeting. District Threes Ron Reeves made a massive amendment to an item regarding the formation of a task force to develop a plan for arts and culture. He went as far as to outline which other City and citizen entities should sit on the board of said task force, moved to approve the item with his changes, and then voted against it. And people wonder why we hate politicians.

you help? She is a kind and loving

Karla

can

be

reached

at

wunderbarpetsittingkarla@gmail.com, and donations can be made via PayPal to that address as well.

\m/

Best Letter Ever. Ev-er. We got THE BEST letter the other day. Its awesome. Its clearly from someone who

Mike Reynolds Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

BUY SELL TR ADE


Classic Rock Alternative Punk Reggae - Funk Soul Country

works at City Hall, but because it names names theres no way we can run it unless we know who wrote it. So, attention BEST LETTER writer, we need to know who you are.

New and Vintage Vinyl and Turntables

We wont tell anybody - weve been protecting City Hall sources for over a year. So drop by the office or send us an email and well pop that bad boy into print for yall. AD SALES 830.483.9563

243 N. Union Ave 830-629-2662 Like us on


4

CALENDAR
SAINTS PETER AND PAULS SPRING FESTIVAL! FREE EVIDENCE DESTRUCTION
On Saturday, April 27, our friends at the US Drug Enforcement Agency Saturday, April 27. Festival Noon to 5pm, Street Dance 5 to 8pm, will be hand at NBU to relieve you of any expired or unneeded prescription Live Auction, 6:30pm, Raffle for brand spankin new Ford F-150 Pick em or over-the-counter drugs that may be cluttering your medicine cabinet, Up Truck 7:30pm. 1 2 no questions asked (wink-wink). You dont have 3 to bring them in their original packaging, but if you dont have those containers be sure to drive carefully prescription meds in a baggie can turn a routine traffic stop into VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT a newsworthy event. The drop will take place in the parking lot behind The First Annual New Braunfels Toros Volleyball Tournament takes NBU off of Comal Avenue between 10am to 2pm. place Saturday, April 27, Co-ed, six player recreational and four-man competitive divisions. Food, games, music, and fun! Proceeds to be put DOGGIE DIP DAY toward purchase of jerseys and equipment. All day event. How about a swim with your best pal? Well, its Doggie Dip time again out at the Landa Park springfed pool. Bring proof of rabies vaccination and $5 per dog for admission there will be prizes for Best Doggie Swim-Suit, BIKE NIGHT AT DIRTYS! so bring one of those along as well if your pooch can stand that kind of Fire up your bike 5 and come git cha sum award winning Texas BBQ and 6 humiliation. Saturday, April 27, noon to 4pm. 7 live music from the Rowdy Johnson Band at Dirtys this Sunday! Two miles past Clear Springs on Hwy 46. 3 to 6pm All bikers welcome!

VFW FUNDRAISER COUNTRY DANCE

The Sam Bentley Band will be playing true country dance music along with a guest appearance from singer Star Longoria, at the Maurice T. Suttles SUNDAY DANCE VFW Post 3413, 1701 Hunter Rd, in San Marcos, on April 27 from 8pm to Jason Arnold & the Stepsiders Band from Austin will be performing all midnight. Doors open at 7 pm. Adult admission $8, children 12 & under your old country dance favorites at the Geronimo VFW Post 8456, 6808 $4. Smoke free and always open to everyone. For info and reservations, N Highway 123, Geronimo, April 28, 3-6:30 PM (open seating). Kitchen call 512-757-1478 or 512-667-6215. opens at 2 PM. $7.00 donation; benefits VFW Auxiliary. Smokefree and always open to all. Info 830-303-9903. BREAKFAST LIONS TURKEY SHOOT

11 round will cost $5 per Blast a paper target for a good cause! Each shooter, and the prize will be a $25 gift certificate. Dont worry about BLOCK BUSTER WRESTLING ammo as well provide the ammunition for 12 gauge, 20 gauge, and 410 Pro-style grapplin at its up-close, bruiseworthy finest. The boys of shotguns. Location: Behind Dietz Gun shop, 5 miles West of New Braunfels Block Buster hit the ring at 5:30pm, Sunday, April 28, within the friendly on 46. Turn left into the drive that leads to the Gun shop. Go past the gun shop and take an immediate left. The shoot will be 100 yards down that confines of Big Als Gardens on Business 35. Folding chairs provided. road and on the left. Saturday and Sunday, May 4 and 5. For more info, call Frank at 210-488-6348.
OPEN HOUSE AT THE TRAIN MUSEUM
You are invited to admire the new vintage rail car train shed, during the Open House, at the New Braunfels Railroad Museum. Saturday and Sunday, April 27 13 and 28, from 10:00 am until 5:00 pm. Admission is Free. 14 The Railroad Museum is located at 302 West San Antonio Avenue, New Braunfels, Texas 78108, downtown at the railroad tracks. For information, visit WWW.NBRRM.ORG or call 830-627-2447.

10

YOURE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN


The E.N.A.A.C.T. Family Academy would like to invite you to their 2013 Spring production of Youre A Good Man, Charlie Brown at the Tree of 15 Life Church in New Braunfels located on IH-35 South. This production will take place in the Main Sanctuary on Thursday, May 9th at 7:00 PM, Friday, May 10th at 10:00 AM (matinee) and 7:00 PM. Tickets are $6 per person or $5 for groups of 10 or more. Tickets can be purchased online at www. enaact.org or at the door. For group purchases or for more information, please call (830) 626-0320.

KILL YOUR TV DISPOSE OF THE BODY


Its Electronic Recycling Day again, where you can trash your computers and what-not without poisoning the groundwater for the next ten generations. 8am 17 to noon, Saturday, April 27, Landa Park Pool parking 18 lot.
TXCITIZEN.COM

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?


Well get the word out for you! 19 Send the details to calendar@txcitizen.com.
5

n o i h s a F

The TX Citizen gured prominently into the Landmark Salon and Spas 2013 Hair and Fashion Show at the Landmark Lofts last Saturday, with models in unbelievable custom TX Citizen dresses created entirely by the preternaturally gifted hands of the salons proprietor, Israel DeLeon, and an appearance by our in-house metrosexual and former City Council candidate, Chase Cochran. With over 50 models gracing the runway, and a huge crowd in attendance, the event was a erce, raging success!

AD SALES 830.483.9563

HELP WANTED
The Mund Group - Property and Casualty Account Manager This person will Assist the producer by handling the marketing of new business and Performs leasing, marketing, customer renewal submissions including preparing service and administrative duties, to include: applications, surveys and other documents Leases and markets vacant and for submission, selection of markets, negotiations with underwriters, preparation upcoming apartments. of proposals, processing of policies as well Completes all leasing paperwork. Compiles and processes applications f as reviewing issued policies for accuracy and endorsements. Other duties include servicing or approval. Explains lease and all appropriate the needs of client accounts, inputting and updating policy details and maintaining new/ addenda to new resident. Walks apartments and reports all renewal client files. necessary improvements. Requirements: Assists with resident relations. General Lines Property and Casualty Keys in all fees, deposits, and new License lease information. Knowledge of Applied Systems Programs Shows apartments to prospective Ability to multi task and handle a large leases. Accepts and completes Notice to volume of items simultaneously Good organizational skills, with high Vacate forms. attention to detail Accepts rental payments. Ability to prioritize and work Other duties as assigned. independently Landmark Lofts The Landmark is accepting applications for a full time Leasing Consultant. Please apply in person at the Landmark Lofts office, 144 Landa St. New Braunfels. Mountain Breeze Campground We are hiring office and bar staff starting now through the summer. Part-time and full-time positions. Must have a great attitude, because attitude is everything! Apply at Mountain Breeze Camp on River Rd or call 830 964 2484 ext 0. Base Salary + Email your resume to: jobs@themundgroup.com

diversions
Thank you to those who gave in big ways and those who gave in small ways that made a huge difference. You helped us raise over $6000 for Heart Funds as well as 91 ponytails!
The New Braunfels Blues Society The TX Citizen Mike Reynolds Kayla Wallace Blinders Hair salon John Payne Corba Jones Chris and Nora Graves Aaron Smith Amy Kennedy Michele McDonald Cindy Lee Yeargan Ace Pepper Scott Walker Adam Johnson, Charlie Cruz and the Cool Cats The Blues Buzzards The Monty "Guitar" Tyler Band Sheree Guinn sponsored the cost of the food to honor her grandson Joshua Smith (USAF) Clyde Gray Kandi and Sara Anderson Kimberly Wright Alyssa Loya Curley Chiropractic Tri City Wright Distributing Michael Waid NB Prestige Detailing Wilson Apkarian Michelle from Blinders Heidi from Blinders Dr Judith Jonke Rudy's BBQ The Brauntex Theatre Dale Martin Rockin R River Rides Element 29 (in Gruene.) Steve and Renee Wilson Patrick and Christina Fallin Terrific Massage Alibi Boutique New Braunfels Candy aka "the candy lady" Melissa Galvan Donella Doyle Pete Yankowski Casa de Linda KNBT Stuart Wolf Monty Tyler Silk Screen Designs The Lone Kro' Spicewood Jewelry

Buffalo Wings & Rings

Karaoke Trivia

Tuesday Nights, 7:30pm Thursday Night, 7:30pm

Dirtys Bar & Q

Karaoke

Wednesday Nights, 8pm Saturday Nights, 9pm

Faust Brewing Company

Trivia

Thursday Nights, 8pm

Freiheit Country Store

Karaoke Trivia

Friday Nights, 8pm Saturday Nights, 8pm

Happy Cow

Camp Huaco Springs Its that time of year again! Were hiring for the reservation office at Camp Huaco Springs. Must work the 3 major holiday weekends and have excellent phone etiquette. Were super flexible with hours - part time or full time, and we can schedule around your needs. Seasonal The New Braunfels Auction Co. & work only. Please stop by the RV Store on Gruene Flea Antique Mall needs a variety River Road to pick up an application. We of seasonal temp to hire part time and/or would really like to hire some Scooter Store full time workers. Estate sale set up, sales employees that have been laid off! operation, retail, furniture movers, etc. Great fun work environment, part time, flex and full Mile High Yard Works is hiring full time depending on ability, availability and or part time workers for fun work outside! experience. Great student and summer jobs! Kick the cubical! We are looking for Labor Apply in person at 311 FM306 Bldg.#2 New and a delivery driver. Contact Tommy at Braunfels TX 78130. 830-626-3455. OurBlok Are you a connector? We are looking for two professional representatives to help in the area. Salary, commission and bonuses offered based on experience and performance. If you like people and have a service mentality you may be the perfect fit. Past sales experience helpful but not mandatory. Email your resume to Scott@Ourblok.com to discuss further. Alpine Haus We have one position for experienced waitstaff in our upscale restaurant. Knowledge of German language and culture a plus. We are also hiring kitchen prep and dishwasher. Must be reliable. Apply in person from 3 PM to 4:30 PM Thursday through Sunday at 251 S. Seguin Ave. New Braunfels. TXCITIZEN.COM Eclipse Window Tinting is now hiring. Contact Aaron at 830-237-2267. M4 Cleaning Services is hiring 6 housekeepers for residential & commercial cleaning in New Braunfels. $9.00/hour. Call 210-386-6429 Elite Auto Sounds is hiring for the position of sign spinner. Seeking fresh faces and enthusiastic personalities. Hourly + bonuses. Apply in person @ Rueckle & 35.

Karaoke Trivia

Thursday Nights, 8pm Wednesday Nights, 8pm Monday Nights, 8pm

Pool Tournament
Old Ice House

Karaoke DJ

Thursdays, Sundays Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Phoenix Saloon

Karaoke Karaoke DJ KC
Fridays

Thursday Nights

Prickly Pear Lounge


Thursdays, Saturdays

The Watering Hole Saloon

Karaoke
Thursdays

Got a nice opening? Well help fill it, FREE! Send your job listings to gigs@txcitizen.com. Hire former Scooter Store employees, and well pay you off with up to $1,500 in advertising credit!

Country Dance Lessons


Fridays, 7:30pm - FREE

DJ

Fridays, Saturdays

CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
Thu 4.25
Black Whale Pub
TBA 9pm

Triple Crown

Dirtys Bar & Q

Steven Roloff & Friends 8pm Open Mic w/ Fallon Franklin 6pm Jam Night 6pm

Erickson 6pm Bonsai Nation, Taylor Lifeguards, Dangerous Animal 9pm, $5 Ashley Stone 8pm

River Road Ice House


Curtis Grimes w/ Flywood Louis & the

Gruene Hall

Tavern in the Gruene


Monty Guitar Tyler 8pm

Flat Top Jones 1pm The Texas Jamm Band 9pm, $8 Brian Keane 9pm

Uptown Piano Bar

Triple Crown

The Pour Haus San Marcos VFW 3413


Sam Bentley Band w/ Star Longoria Food @ 7, Music @ 8 TBA 9pm

Freiheit Country Store

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

Fri 4.26
Dirtys Bar & Q
Farm Boys 8pm

Joel Hofmann Band 6pm The Beaumonts, Pure Luck 9pm, $6 Barry Adams 8pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vino en Verde


Aaron Stephens 8pm

Tavern in the Gruene Triple Crown

Steven Vee w/ Shannon Wierman & Kori Free 5pm Ripe Honey 9pm TBA 8pm

The Happy Cow


Slim Bawb 8pm

Rileys Tavern Adobe Verde AJs Ale House

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten


Corvette Car Show w/ Paul McLaughlin 1pm Vagabonds 6pm

Sat 4.27
Black Whale Pub
TBA 9pm

Dirtys Bar & Q


James Pardo Band 9pm, $3 Knucklehead 8pm

Phoenix Saloon

KTSW Mr Fest! Ghosts of Dixie, New York City Queens, Sour Bridges, Emily Bell, Three Leaf, Poor Pilate 1pm Chasca, Mike Truth & the Replacement Killers, Scorpio Rising 9pm, $5 John Maclean 8pm Sweet Sauce 9pm

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Dix Hat Band 8pm

Billys Ice House Black & Tan Pub

James Pardo 5pm DJ B.read presents Two Handfuls of Funk 9pm Joel Hofmann Band 9pm TBA 8pm

The Happy Cow Oma Gruenes Secret Garten


Steve Judice 1pm Luke Adair & the Big Bills 6pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vino en Verde

Rileys Tavern Adobe Verde

Digital Deadbeats & the Good Squad 9pm Seth Candan Band 9pm Dustin Welch 6pm

Phoenix Saloon Rileys Tavern Adobe Verde


TBA 8pm

Sun 4.28
Dirtys Bar & Q
Arizonas Original Outlaw Band 3pm The Phillip Stevens Band 2pm Ethan Ford 2pm TBA 7pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse Gruene Hall The Pour Haus


Brian Pounds Trio 7pm

AJs Ale House

Adam Johnson & the Pay Mes 9pm Omar & the Howlers 9pm

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Shinyribs 8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

Billys Ice House Black & Tan Pub

Rain of the Aftermath, Vlad the Impaler 9pm Brian Keane Band w/ The Hems 9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Poor J Brown 9pm

River Road Ice House


Big Red Drum Showcase 8pm Kurt Grein Band 8pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Billys Ice House Black & Tan Pub

Billys Ice House


Joe Teichman 8pm

Tavern in the Gruene Texas Music Theater


Green Mountain Grass w/ Whistle & Fish 9pm

Black & Tan Pub


Latin/Reggae 8pm

Gruene Hall

Houston Marchman 8pm, $8 Tom Gilliam 9pm

A Room in the Body, Landlovers, Swimming with Bears 9pm Jon Wolfe Band 9pm

The Pour Haus

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Geronimo VFW 8456

Sunday Dance Jason Arnold & the Stepsiders Band Food @ 2, Music @ 3

AD SALES 830.483.9563

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Gruene Hall
Slim Bawb 12:30pm Doc Marshalls

Cheatham Street Warehouse


Will Arrington & Brett Hauser 9pm

The Pour Haus

Gruene Hall

Larry Martin Sweeney & Friends 6pm 5pm New Braunfels Blues Society Jam 8pm 5th Annual Lone Star Music Awards 6pm, $5 John Dempsey 3pm

Tom Gillam, Chelsea Crowell & Friends 6pm Open Mic w/ Jon Magill 8pm Roots & Branches of Americana 7pm The Blooms 9:30pm Aaron Stephens 6pm Dry River Religion, Jericho 9pm, $5

The Pour Haus

River Road Ice House Texas Music Theater Vineyard at Gruene

Tavern in the Gruene

Triple Crown

Mon 4.29
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase w/ John Whipple Wade Bowen w/ Allan Goodman 9pm Jordan Minor 6pm

Altered States

Mike Crowe IPA

Vinnys ESB

OktoberFaust

Wed 5.1
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends 7:30pm Tyler Cannon 9pm

HOME TO FOUR AWARD WINNING BREWS!

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Gruene Hall The Pour Haus

Rileys Tavern Watering Hole Saloon


Korey & Dana 8:30pm

Bryan Boyce & Paul Rogers 7pm Empty Handed Vagabonds 8pm 60 Cycle Hum 8pm

River Road Ice House Tavern in the Gruene Triple Crown

Billys Ice House


Whiskey Rodeo 8pm

Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.

Cheatham Street Warehouse


Kent Finlays Songwriters Circle 9pm The Georges 6pm TBA 7pm

Scott Wood & the Kyle Project 6pm Chief & TheDoomsdayDevice 9pm

Gruene Hall The Pour Haus River Road Ice House


Jamey Howard 8pm Ali Holder 6pm

Tues 4.30
The Happy Cow
Open Jam w/ Uncle Daddy 8pm TBA 8:30pm

Trivia Night Every Thursday

JOIN US FOR

Watering Hole Saloon Billys Ice House


Moonlight Social 8:00pm

Triple Crown Uptown Piano Bar


John Maclean 8pm

Open at 4pm Mon-Thurs & 12pm Fri-Sun


240 South Seguin Ave. | Downtown New Braunfels (830) 625-7791 | www.FaustBrewing.com
Find us

TXCITIZEN.COM

SOUND TOWN
OUT OF
Fri 4.26
Antones
HAMM Corporate Battle of the Bands Bands from: H-E-B, Cirrus Logic, CLEAResult, Spine, St Davids Foundation, Seaton Healthcare Family 6pm, $10-$15 HomeAway, Intel, Wenzel

THIS WEEK IN

Sat 4.27
Antones
Sin City Soul & Blues Revival Malford Milligan, NAKIA, WC Clark 1:30pm, $14 Sister C 9pm, $7-$9

SPOILERS
The endings of last weeks top-grossing movies. Oblivion

The Continental Club


Club Lineup: Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm Bill Carter & the Blame w/ LeRoi Brothers 10pm, $10 Gallery Lineup: Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5

Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman smuggle a nuke onto a space station and blow it, and themselves, up. Its ok though, because there are a whole bunch of Tom Cruise clones left walking around on earth.

The Continental Club


Club Lineup: The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm Mudphonic w/ Soulhat 10pm, $10 Gallery Lineup: The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

42

INNER! BEST MW AK OUT SP BASEME ENT BAROT:

AMP! CO-CH BAR

BEST

BEST OF THE WURST

2013

Floores Country Store


Chris Knight w/ Ben Knight 8pm, $15

Floores Country Store


Charlie Montague w/ Lee Winright 8pm, $8

Jackie Robinson puts his physical safety in jeopardy simply by playing what had been exclusively whiteys game in this baseball biopic. The film concludes with Robinson hitting a home run against a Pittsburg Pirates pitcher that beans him earlier in the story, and with it takes Brooklyn to the 1947 World Series, which they lose. Everybody gets into the Hall of Fame, and white people everywhere feel better about themselves. Has Han Solo in it so its good.

The Croods

Hooligans Bar & Grill


No Justice 8pm, $6

Red Eyed Fly


Gidzillah w/ Red Goes Faster, Riverside, The Household, Iconoclasm 8:30pm, Outside

The dad doesnt really die. Starring Nicolas Cage.

Scary MoVie

Red Eyed Fly


Chemical Grove, The Last Ones 10pm, Inside Scarlets Eyes w/ Trees, Nevar Was, This Diamond Life, Critical Disorder 8:30pm, Outside

Stetson Bar
Southern Breed 9:30pm

Get it? Its the fifth one so they made the V in the title big. Post-credits, its revealed that Charlie Sheen dreamt the whole story, after which Lindsay Lohan accidently kills him with her car. Because she crashes lots of cars in real-life. Because shes a drunk.

Stubbs BBQ
The Black Crowes 7pm, Outside, SOLD OUT Graham Wilkinson 11pm, Inside, $7

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Sams Burger Joint


Adam Hood w/ Folk Family Revival 8pm, $11

Channing Tatum gets killed by COBRA. The Rock kills Firefly, deactivates some weapons of mass destruction, and gets George Pattons gun. From the President.

Stetson Bar
Chilton Vance 9:30pm

Thirsty Horse Saloon


Small Town Habit 8pm

The Place Beyond the Pines

Stubbs BBQ
The Gaslight Anthem w/ Matt Mays 7pm, Outside, $18-$20 Primal Static 10:30pm, Inside

"As a scal conservative, my goal is to protect and enhance New Braunfels' quality of life through smart growth citywide and a fresh perspective on the issues that a ect District Two."
Contact me at: ajasellsnb@gmail.com or nd me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/AjaForDistrict2
Political Advertising Paid by Aja Edwards Patino Campaign. L. Jennifer Lyles, Treasurer. 1117 N. Walnut Ave. NB, TX 78130

Thirsty Horse Saloon


Mario Flores & the Soda Creek Band 8pm

Circus motorcycle stuntman Ryan Gosling robs banks sos he can have money to see his kid and what-not. Cop kills Ryan Gosling, and feels bad about it. Ryan Goslings kid grows up and figures out how the cop factors into his family history. Kid kidnaps cop and plans to kill him. Cop cries and apologizes for killing Ryan Gosling, and then becomes New York States Attorney General. Kid buys a motorcycle and presumably joins the circus and/or turns to crime. They dont say. The end.

Next Week (Space Permitting): The conclusions

to Pain & Gain, The Big Wedding, and Kon-Tiki.

10

AD SALES 830.483.9563

UNCLE ESEL
Uncle Esel, You mentioned the government spying on our emails and other communications, but is there any evidence they use the internet against us? I mean if they are genuinely looking for terrorists, then whats the harm? Thank You, Wilson
Dear Wilson, Well, if the government could be trusted to just do what they say, then we wouldnt have to worry about it, but in fact, agencies like the IRS are starting to utilize information off the Internet to go after people. Not just them, but also state agencies including tax agencies. One reported case involved Oklahoma authorities going after a bunch of frat boys who were making a few bucks by hosting parties. Now, news flash Oklahoma tax people, no one on Facebook, Twitter or other social media sites ever lies or exaggerates. If its on the Internet it has to be true, right? So these kids did the unexpected and maybe exaggerated a wee bit on the amount of income they made (in reality, probably just enough to buy some free booze and a tank of gas). Imagine the shock of getting bill for $320,000 from the state for back taxes and penalties. Imagine the surprise to see the backup documentation that consisted entirely of screen shots of the boys social media posts. So are you worried yet? Well listen up Casanovas and Lolitas of the world. Over 80% of divorce cases also relied on social media in some form for their proceedings. Even around here, we have seen the use of social media to turn common bluster into something sinister even though it was just simple trash talk. I guess its all a matter of who has the best access to the system and the right connections, isnt it Princess? By the way, the Department of Justice was served with a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request by the Electronic Frontier Foundation and had to produce a training document on using social media to investigate Americans. It includes references to workarounds for privacy settings and appears to allude to using deception (friending) to get info despite routine claims that the feds do not do that. So Wilson, in summary, how many terrorists have been jailed for under-reporting taxes? Using non-federal agency math, we have the count at zero. Love, K Dear Kenny, The question is pretty broad and there are a lot of variables to consider such as the industry or merchandise you might be talking about. Most really big retailers for instance have a repair division or service either in house or contracted. In either case they often buy products from manufacturers and get discounts for agreeing to service any warranty needs. Smaller companies however, will refer you to the manufacturers warranty program and approved repair centers. If you dealing with a big company then ask to speak to their national customer relations department, this usually starts the ball rolling to resolve most complaints. You can also contact the manufacturer of an item to obtain warranty assistance. When nothing seems to be working you can lodge a complaint with the Better Business Bureau or the state Consumer Division of the Attorney General office. Tell the Attorney Generals office you are from New Braunfels, they know us real well up there. On second thought, they may not be to friendly if you tell them that. If you are really good at Internet searches, you can always find the phone numbers for the executives of the company or even a fax number. Calls to them are usually fast tracked for resolution and get pretty lenient treatment, you know, in case youre asking for too much. If all else fails, bad mouth them on their Facebook. Love, K

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Dave, No one knows that answer. Love, K Special Message from Uncle Esel: I would like to wish all the victims of the terrorist act in Boston a speedy recovery and a prayer for their well being as well as for those who lost loved ones. Esel hopes that those responsible for this act of terror will meet with a swift punishment for their actions. It was great to see the unselfish acts of Americans going to the aid of the fallen and dazed. Cowards will not cause us to withdraw and hide and we will continue to show our spirit under pressure. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Keep it going.

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Dear Uncle Esel, I have a problem with a local business who has failed to work on a warranty item for something that i bought, even though it broke in the first month. What is the best approach? Thank you Kenny
TXCITIZEN.COM

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@TXCITIZEN. COM. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.

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11

830-626-9464(WING)

MOST WANTED
CLARK, ELVIS THURMAN
Male 506 170 lbs DOB: 09/12/1973 CHARGE: Three counts of forgery against an elderly

MARTINEZ, FRANK

Male 509 170 lbs DOB: 08/01/1975 CHARGE: Evading arrest detention with previous conviction

GANN, AMBER P
Female 506 185 lbs DOB: 04/16/1985 CHARGE: Intoxication assault and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon

MAUER, CHARLES HEYWOOD


Male 510 220 lbs DOB: 01/23/1973 CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated with two or more previous convictions for the same type of offense

Dear Mexican: I have always liked ranchera music. As of late, I have wanted to get deeper into it as far as the history, the culture and especially the songs and lyrics. The older I get, the more rancheras seem like poetry to mesounds cursi, i know. So what I was wondering is if you know a good book or two or website that I can read or check out? I went to my local library and they didnt have a very good selection. And Borders or Barnes and Noble? Forget itso por favor and gracias, if you could. Houston Honey
Dear Wabette: Of course Borders doesnt stock any books on rancherasBorders doesnt exist anymore (and borders dont existed, period, but thats neither ni aqu no all). Most research on Mexican music concentrates on corridos, our ballad form that celebrates bad men, events, and horses, but actual scholarly treatises on ranchera? Few and far between, alasand non-existent in English. Your best bet is Jose Alfredo Jimnez: Cancionero Completo, a songbook that contains all the compositions of the ranchera titan, whose hit parade makes the collected works of Gershwin, Porter, Leiber-Stoller, the Brill Building AND Woody Guthrie seem as voluminous as the output of Paper Lace. The libro also contains a great introductory essay by Mexican intellectual Carlos Monsivais that puts Jimnez in his proper context. As great as Cancionero Completo is, however, dont bother buying it: a used copy of is currently priced at $54 on Amazon.com, and while the book showcases the Robert Burns-esque bravado and orgullo that was the Jimnez style, it aint worth that price in this day and age where you can just gather all the lyrics online. Then again, if youre willing to buy the book, Im more than happy to sell my copy to you: I do need to finish off the down payment on my burro

GENTRY, DALLAS LEE


Male 509 190 lbs DOB: 05/02/1955 CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

NOLLE-ESENY, CHRISTOPHER ROBIN


Male 601 230 lbs DOB: 06/18/1988 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for criminal mischief over $1500 under $20,000

HORMANN, STEVEN
Male 511 196 lbs DOB: 12/26/1957 CHARGE: Credit card or debit card abuse elderly

OBRIEN, STEVEN HORST


Male 602 215 lbs DOB: 10/19/1982 CHARGE: Forgery financial instrument

JOHNSEN, CHRISTOPHER DAVID


Male 504 160 lbs DOB: 10/19/1970 CHARGE: Forgery financial instrument

TURNER, AARON LEE


Male 509 140 lbs DOB: 07/20/1966 CHARGE: Bail jumping and fail to appear felony

$200 REWARD
12

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour 830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, April 22, 2013 at 9:15 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

Dear Mexican: Upon first seeing me, as a two-week old baby, my aunt Estrella screamed Ay, que gringo! But, if you gotta call me a gabacho,

COMAL COUNTYS

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano

so be it. I do have Mexican family (through marriage), and my brother (white like me) is currently down in Mexico City courting a beautiful Mexi nugget he met while attending college in Malaga, Spain. I get along well with many Mexicans, legal and illegal, but I hate that they arent paying the man like I have to. Sure, Im a little jealous, but Id be all for Mexicans being awarded citizenship simply for walking over the border...as long as they paid their dues. I pay taxes that fund crap like keeping white trash from getting jobs, jobs they could get if I wasnt already paying for them to survive on junk food, and some undocumented borderjumping beaner wasnt there working for cheaper (and not helping me pay the dumb taxes to keep the trailer trash alive). I say assimilate, document, pay taxes and welcome. Im writing an essay on wetbacks (screw PC terms) and their effect on our country for better AND worse. Ive never heard of you until I read about 30 of your emails and responses on the net today. Id like to know whats your opinion on the crossing over and its effect economically rather than socially? White Sox Winner!
Dear Gabacho: The only opinion I have is on your language. Beaner? Borderjumping? Wetback? All these insults are SO 1950s. Dont you know the current verboten insult toward Mexicans is illegal or illegal immigrant? And as for your concern about the undocumented paying their way, dontcha worry about that: the recent proposed amnesty bill crafted by a bunch of political pendejos is more punitive than habanero salsa marching through your alimentary canal toward your culo.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!
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THE

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WITH MITCHELL WILBURN


Magic Hats Pistil today, my fine readers! The brewery thats normalizing spruce tips in their wheelhouse beers, and apricot juice in their flagship, is bringing two intriguing ingredients in to of body, flaked oats. Lets see how this comes white beer color, with a white foamy head. The taste is something rather unique. The malt is a bit more forward than I thought it was going to be. Dandelion, We have something very interesting for you out, shall we? The beer has a bit of a hazy

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one pretty capable beer. The brewery is spring, so I thought it was going to be a Magic Hat, and the beer is Pistil. Pistil is a very light malt, but this is just a bit more Dandelion ale, or rather something close to a Pale Ale or ESB with dandelion leaves and flowers added to the brew. Yeah, me neither caramel than not. There is a very nice crisp bitterness, about like a pilsner, and a lovely green grassy note. The aftertaste is where

(is what Im replying to your statement about the lacto-infected malt comes through. It never having seen that before). Culinarily, I gives almost a pinapple-ish aftertaste. Not do know that dandelion is used sometimes in super sour in the taste, but the after really light greens salad, and they have a slightly lingers. Overall, this is an interesting foray bitter, delicate flavor. Perhaps a worthy into using dandelions, and a great example addition to the hops? Well see. The other unusual ingredient is aciduated malt, also known in the distilling of aciduated malting. Despite the overly thick sweetness of the malt, this beer is

greatly refreshing and would be an amazing Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things barley. Send your beer questions to him at hops@txcitizen.com. biz as Sour Mash. In addition, to give a bit companion on warm nights.

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Monday Nights

Tuesday Nights
Trivia! 8pm

Wednesday Nights Thursday Nights


Cow E Oke 8pm

Ladies Night & Karaoke w/Johnny V A Star is born every Thurs & Sat Party with DJ KC & the Pear Crowd Kool Karaoke w/Johnny V! Now Open NOON MIDNIGHT! National Bring Some Friends Day! Get your Dos XX Draft ON!

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1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017 As always, we urge you to DRINK RESPONSIBLY

Hump Day - Free Darts & Pool

WEDNESDAY

TRIVIA NIGHT! With DJ KC Free Darts and Pool

TUESDAY

Kitchen Hours:
11:30am-10pm

Tues-Fri

BLACK WHALE PUB


367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

Sat & Sun


2pm-10pm

9103 FM 1102 San Braunfels (Hunter, TX) 512.353.0030

13

BEST OF THE WURST

2013

WINNERS!
INGESTION
Best Burger: The Happy Cow Best Coffee:
The Gruene Grind Co ee Company Best Breakfast Tacos: El Nopalito Best Mexican: Adobe Caf

Best Tattoo Studio:


Body Expressions

INDUSTRY

Best Tourist Attraction:


Schlitterbahn

Best Local Newspaper: TX Citizen


(Herald-Zeitung disquali ed for being Houston-owned.)

Best Pizza: TIE!

Bosses Pizza/New York Pizza Pub Best BBQ: Granzin BBQ

Another enthusiastic crowd descended upon the Happy Cows belt sander races last Saturday, with Team Baby Labonte, (left), bringing home the gold in the modi ed division, and Team Colonel Sanders, (right), again dominating the stock category.

Best Bar: TIE!

PEOPLE & PLACES

Top Local Political Fiasco of 2012:


The Disposable Container Ban on Local Rivers.

CIVICS

The Black Whale Pub/Phoenix Saloon

Best Bartender:

Jannah at The Happy Cow

Best Live Music Venue:


Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

2012s Most Questionable Expenditure of Public Money:


The exorbitant costs associated with the cleanup of banned, and therefore non-existent, disposable containers from local rivers.

on tour

Best Sports Bar:


Bu alo Wings and Rings

Best Place to Dance:


Phoenix Saloon

Best Make-Out Spot:


Phoenix Saloons Basement Bar

Local Road Most Likely to Trigger an Auto Insurance Claim:


Seguin Avenue, near the underpass.

Best Biergarten:
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Best Local Band: 3 Man Front Best Local Solo Act: Lucas Taylor F.J. Lindheimer

Most Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of ce:


Mayor Gale Pospisil

Favorite Dead New Braunfelser:

Best Trivia Night: Best Karaoke:

DIVERSIONS

Least Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of ce:


Kevin Webb

Faust Brewing Company Freiheit Country Store Best DJ: DJ KC

Best Non-Of ce Holding Public Figure: Devil-May-Care Gun Owner/


Former Mayor Stoney Williams

Best Local Event that Ends in Fest: Wurstfest

Most Horrible Non-Of ce Holding Citizen: Can-Ban Architect/Former


Mayor Pro-Tem Kathleen Krueger

TX Citizens Falon & Paxtyn took their North Dakotan cousin, Devin, over to Houston to check out the Museum of Natural Science. They found the Pink Floyd laser show at the planetarium particularly edifying. #education
14

CONGRATS!
TX CITIZEN AD SALES 830.483.9563

With

Bubba Norton

Cheerwine: It Tastes Like Home

I couldnt wait to take a drink, but it needed to be cold. Drinking hot Cheerwine would be flavored shine, (only Yankees drink that), or maybe even worse. Whats worse than warm Cheerwine you wonder? Dont ask me. I dont know, because in North Carolina we only drink our Cheerwine cold. Anyway, it seemed like 14 hours before it was cold enough to drink. When the time finally came I can promise you this, nothing ever tasted so good. It took me back to a time long ago, so I got in touch with some of my old high school friends, well, at least the ones who knew the evil secret about me still being alive. Facebook is an easy way to stay in touch, goin-to-college hillbillies. I put a picture up and said hi to a couple of friends and before I knew Friends from all over the country and even Cheerwine and old times. Funny stories like spreading peanut butter across a hickey was

Cheerwine, its the second most popular

drink in North Carolina, but unlike the states worse than drinking spoiled buttermilk, apple

most popular sipping beverage, its legal and I love Texas, but Im

Est. 1986

alcohol free.

a tried and true Tar Heel

FREE Country Dance Lessons


Aprils Lesson ~ Fridays @ 7:30 Followed by COUNTRY DJ DANCE Live Music Tues & Weds @ 8:30pm

and hillbilly. A while back I

ran into a man who wound

Salsa!

up working out with us at

Warriors Edge. It didnt take

long for me to recognize that

his accent was not Texan and

that he too was a Tar Heel.

As it turned out, it being

the small world that it is, I

Karaoke Contest
Thursdays @ 9pm
Check out Happy Hour!
11am-7pm Monday - Saturday ALL Day Sunday
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels 830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb

Join us for our

actually went to high school Now I havent been

with some of his kin!

back to Carolina since my

10 year high school reunion,

because, well, it was kind of a bummer.

I remember hurrying up to graduate from and its also easy enough to use for us nine year

www.NBSTREETS.com
We dig so you dont have to.

college so that I could tell everyone that I was

in fact a college graduate before going to my

10 year reunion. I had to hustle, but I made it it there were over 50 comments on it. I remember walking into the grand ol one in South Korea started reminiscing about

with a month or two to spare.

shindig all of my old classmates had planned

for what I thought was going to be my the time we convinced one of my friends that

RESTAURANT HOURS!

NEW

GIT CHA SUM


Lip Smackin', Finger Lickin', Award Winnin' South Texas BBQ and a Cold Beer! Steven Roloff & Friends 8pm-12am *RIB NIGHT!* Farm Boys 8pm-12am $3 James Pardo Band 9pm-1am $3 Bike Night with The Rowdy Johnson Band! 3 to 6pm "Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!" dirtystexas@yahoo.com 830-379-8883

triumphant return and the first person I ran into

didnt say hey its Bubba, he didnt even say the only way to make it to go away. So, him Crunchy or smooth?, and spent the rest of his neck while we all spent the day drinking beer and snickering. I have only shared one of my prized

hello, he looked at me kind of confused and being just enough lesser smart than me asked, For once I was speechless. But after the day with Jiffy Peanut butter smeared across

said, I heard you were dead.

TUESDAY - THURSDAY 11a - 9p FRIDAY 11a - 10p SATURDAY 8a - 10p SUNDAY 8a - 3p

Thursday APRIL 25 Friday APRIL 26

someone else looked at me like they had seen

a ghost, I left, still not being sure of how I left

this cruel world. Far be it from me to wreck it for

everybody if I went down in a blaze of glory. Cheerwines. I gave Gina, the real boss of excited about the Cheerwine experience as I was. She just took a sip and said, rather flatly, Not to me. I tasted sweet corn, boiled peanuts, and cheap Copenhagen. I smelled butter from across a snickering room. I tasted home. Until next time Keepin it Real - Bubba

Friday & Saturday OPEN MIC


W/ FALLON FRANKLIN EVERY THURSDAY @ 6 EVERY FRIDAY @ 8

Bar is open til midnight

Saturday APRIL 27 SUNday APRIL 28

Besides that story sounded more impressive Warriors Edge, one. She wasnt near as Not wanting to scare anyone else, or ruin Now besides the people, who for many I

than fumbling through nine years of college.

a great story, I have not been to Carolina since. It tastes like Cherry Coke.

KARAOKE

am literally dead to, there are a few other things

I miss about Carolina. Boiled peanuts, sweet fresh cut grass on the football field and peanut

corn, cheap Copenhagen, shine (although I Cheerwine, its the state drink in North

Parties/Catering

dont partake anymore) and Cheerwine.

Carolina. In fact, the only place I know that

VOTED BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!

a person can buy Cheerwine, The Nectar of

the Gods, is in North Carolina. But if you

have a new best friend like my buddy Brian,

you can have them bring you back some after TXCITIZEN.COM

one of their visits.

Bubba Norton owns and ops the Warriors Edge gym, the home of the Warrior Fit Program and the next generation of cage fighting legends. Check em out at www.warriorsedge.net.

COUNTRY STORE WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET

HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS 15

Think you have the brains, beauty, and marginal personality disorder it takes to be Miss TX Citizen? Then watch this space for info, as we finalize the sponsors and promotional participants for the June pageant!

Prizes! Glory! Immortality!


The 2013 Miss TX Citizen.

She could be you.

Who will be t he first Miss TX Citizen?


Got a business that caters to women or sells lots of beer? Youre going to want a piece of this. Send sponsorship/ promotional inquiries to misstxc@txcitizen.com.

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