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IMPORTANT RELIGIOUS SURVEY

1. How did you find out about your deity?


__ Newspaper __ Holy Book __ Television __ Divine Inspiration __ My Mama Done Tol' Me __ Near Death Experience __ NPR __ Tabloid __ Mail Order __ Burning Shrubbery __ Other (specify): _____________

DADA SHEET

6. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a deity? Please check all that apply.
__ Parents __ Reason to live __ Indoctrinated by wild eyed drug using hippies __ Indoctrinated by wild eyed Volvo driving yuppies __ Hate to think for self __ Fear of death __ Wanted to piss off parents __ Like Organ Music __ Shit was falling out of the sky __ Shrubbery caught fire and commanded me to do it __ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model deity did you acquire?


__ Eris __ Bob __ Coyote __ Allah __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak] __ Vernon __ Krishna __ Gaia __ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak] __ Odin and entourage [Valhallah Pak] __ Satan __ Ra __Bhudda __ Other (specify): _____________

7. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to your God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology __ Runes __ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers __ Psychic Friends Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry __ Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll __ Tea Leaves __ The Internet __ Human Sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Burning Shrubbery __Teletubbies __ Other (specify): _____________

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
__ Yes __ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here: Please indicate all that apply:
__ Not eternal __ Not omniscient __ Does not occupy/inhabit entire cosmos __ Not omnipotent __ Requires burnt offerings __ Requires virgin sacrifices __ Other (specify): _____________

8. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve thebalanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention b. Less Divine Intervention c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right d. Don't know...what's Divine Intervention?

9. Your god also attempts to maintain a balanced 4 Have you ever worshipped a deity before? level of disasters andmiracles. Please rate on a If so, which false god wereyou fooled by? scale of 1 - 5 her or his handling of the following: Please check all that apply. (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
__ Mick Jagger __ Cthulhu __ Baal __ Beelzebub __ The Great Pumpkin __ The Sun __ Elvis __ The Moon __ Other (specify): _____________ flood famine war plague AOL daytime tv 12345 12345 12345 12345 12345 12345 sex earthquake pestilence SPAM water wine

5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving thequality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet) If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of Our conveniently located drop-off boxes by Oct. 30 you will be entered in TheOne Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are approx one in 6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power, depending on number of beings entered). castlechaos.com.

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10. Additional Comments:

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