Closeness is also instrumental to a marriage, I think that closeness will help partners understand each other better; they

might pay more attention to each other and maybe have more intimacy which interns leads to a better relationship (Worthington, 2005). Whats key to that is communication. Communication, I think is the most instrumental in a marriage; I believe that it aids in each of the nine areas of marriage. In communication there are many types of communication and troubles that could go along with them. The majority of the problems with a couples communication method happened a long time in the past and maybe during the dating process. Deprived communication can be present because of misunderstandings, communication styles and a discrepancy of marital power. I really enjoyed you post especially when you said to promote communication you would focus on communicating in love so that each partner feels valued and you would point out to them instances when they are not communicating in love. I agree and also feel that it is especially important to guide them to communicate love directly by focusing on communicating in a way that speaks to their spouses love languages. Most communication problems are created because people dont recognize each others meaning. Being preoccupied, exhausted and stressed out or too centered on creating what they are going to say next that to pay attention to the partner, are some of the causes of misunderstanding (Worthington, 2005). Communication problems arise not because of what people say but of how things are said to each other. Troubles start to arise because people communicate incorrectly. This also leads to quarrels; For example, when one partner is interrupted in the middle of the sentence. This is a problem that I am currently working on. Interrupting a partner shows the other person that his or her own agenda is more urgent than the other partner, which makes the partner feel less respected. It shows a lack of respect for what the person is feeling or disregard of what is being said. I think I have had great progress but still have a ways to go. Communication is not just talking but also listening. James speaks clearly on this subject in James 1:19, My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. When we speak in anger, we fail to show Gods love. Whether speaking to a family member or a stranger, our communication should always come forth in a loving manner. References Raush, H. L.,Barry,W. A., Hertel, R. K., Swain, M. A. (1985). Communication, Conflict, and Marriage. Journal of Marriage and Family 37(1),236-238. Worthington, E. (2005). Hope focused marriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy. Downers Grove, IL: Inter-Varsity Press.